LittleBigPlanet 2 with No Idea What's Going On

Wow, color me shocked. Just about everyone was thinking that IG’s next Neo travesty would be Mortal Kombat 9. We were wrong. For once Chris Bores has defied expectations. Instead his newest Neo video is LittleBigPlanet 2.

Does that mean this video is good? Of course not! It’s the same brand of idiocy and tedium he’s provided since 2007. What else is new?

*checks LBP 2’s release date* January 2011, nice to see he’s still looking at the games months after they actually come out. Why review something within two weeks of the release date? Just put it off in favor of uploading a trailer, adding some sentences at the end, and claim it’s a review.

As usual, he posted an update to his YouTube account announcing the review. He also says he’s been “hard at work” on his newest video, something that would have been released months ago if you weren’t lazy.

“It’s almost finished, I still got a lot of work to do” Am I the only one that finds that contradictory?

“The uh trailer will be up soon uh…” My God you’re a terrible liar. If your plagiarism accusations went to trial, you will lose so hard.

He also brings up E3, oh that’s going to hurt if he goes again. Please SWAG, please don’t bring him. You had to see those disastrous interviews, that can’t happen again.

The description says the episode will be up next weekend. Let’s see if he actually keeps his word this time.

Onto the video.

0:06 - 0:24: “I get a lot of e-mails from fans asking what I’m playing currently” Just once, could you start a god damn video without bringing up your fans. Just say “Today I’m looking at L.A. Noire” or “Today’s review is Mortal Kombat 9”. Bringing up your fans just reeks of desperation, like you really want people to believe you have a fanbase.

I know I keep bringing this up, but if he keeps doing it then I’m going to mention it.

During his intro there’s a blatant jump-cut. You really couldn’t say “I’ve been playing LittleBigPlanet 2 a lot” in one take? Also, am I the only that notices the bizarre audio quality? He sounds weird when he says “let’s see how stacks up”, like the audio skipped or something. He made this in five minutes, didn’t he?

0:25 - 1:03: IG begins gushing about the game, saying it’s so much better than the first with better graphics, better levels, and more fun. Once again, Chris Bores has forgotten that the character he plays is supposed to be angry about video games. Smoooth.

He goes on to talk about “gimmicks” in each level, there’s a major dip in quality in the “cake level” shot that shows he took the footage from someone else, and I’m really getting a Game Dude vibe from this video. The fast-pace, the lack of explanations, all that’s left is for him to make a graphic bestiality line in an attempt to be like the AVGN.

1:04 - 1:19: *cuts to IG* “Now let’s talk about gameplay” *cuts to game* Well that shot added a lot to this 2 minute 42 second review.

“The controls are simple, they’re smooth to use, you go through all kinds of levels” This video feels jumpy, and not in a good way. It’s like he forgot to take his meds.

1:20 - 1:42: Pointless split-screen joke in 3, 2...

We cut to IG with a lot of space over his head (subtle) as two clones of him literally explode into shot, simultaneously button-mashing. No really, they’re doing the exact same movements in-sync. It’s kind of creepy, like synchronized robots.

“The multiplayer is where this game really shines” I thought it was the extremely in-depth customization and large amount of user-created levels?

Blah blah blah multiplayer is awesome with friends or online. God, you could take this part and put it over any game with multiplayer. Street Fighter IV is better with a friend, Modern Warfare 2 is better in multiplayer. At least reviews of those games go into detail on why multiplayer is better, he just says it’s good and leaves it at that!

1:43 - 2:16: IG then brings up the game’s one downside. Let’s see what pointless nitpick it is this time.

He brings up when playing online, a friend might reject your invite but the game still forces you into the level. … What?

He then complains that he has to go back and try again, and it can happen up to four times on slow nights.

… Oh wow, this is weaponized stupidity. Look, I don’t own LBP2 so I can’t tell you if this is annoying or not. But as someone who is interested, this sounds less like an issue and more like whining. It sounds like he’s just complaint fishing in order to fill his “Irate quota”, like that complaint about the sound in Brutal Legend.

I… ugh. Can’t one just pause the game and quit? I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal. Again, he’s probably complaint fishing.

“Oh come on you asshole!” You’re cursing again? Pick a style and stick with it!

He gets into the final verdict. Blah blah worth the money and blah blah blah…

“You’ll even find this game has a lot of replay value” Nooooooo really? The game with hundreds of new levels added every day has replay value? I’d love to see him review an MMORPG, that would be gloriously stupid.

And he brought back “game on”. His delivery of that line sounded really off, like he was doing a bad impression while saying it. A bad impression of who? I don’t know, just someone.

I really don’t know what to say. It feels like he put zero effort into it, like GotGame told him he needs to release a new video so he threw that together. I just feel confused.

Maybe we’ll get to cover the next official IG episode soon? SEVEN MONTHS!