Sunday, July 31, 2011

Test Your Patience. Gushing Over Mortal Kombat.

And here it is, IG’s Mortal Kombat 9 review. As usual, three months after the game hit shelves. God forbid that he reviews something within a fortnight of its release.

For a while I predicted he’ll gush about the game, once again forgetting his “Irate nature”. Will I have Raiden’s foresight or will I be as blind as Kenshi? Take a guess.
Surprisingly, there was no video announcement, I had to learn about this one from his site.

0:08 - 0:15: “Alright Mortal Kombat fans, you’ve been asking me to review this game for weeks…” Actually, I haven’t been asking. I’ve just been assuming you would do it.
Wait, “80’s fans”, “Mortal Kombat fans”. Is he trying another catchphrase? Would he review Dead Space 2 and open with “Alright Dead Space fans”. He better not say “Gamer fans” otherwise Spax3 is going to sue someone… again.

0:15 - 0:35: And he gushes about it. If you’ll excuse me I have to go win next month’s lottery.
He mentions the game is “well-polished” and hard to put down. Care to tell me what that means?

0:36 - 1:22: IG starts going into the character roster, guess not.
“Want to play as classics like Scorpion, Raiden, and Sub-Zero? You got ‘em. Want to play as the once hidden characters like Reptile, Noob Saibot, and Smoke? They‘re here too.” Wow, you can play as Mortal Kombat characters there were in almost every game! In fact, let me list the games that don’t have those six, playable or not.

Scorpion: Didn’t appear in MK3, but appeared in Ultimate MK3.
Raiden: Didn’t appear in MK3 or Ultimate MK3 but appeared in MK Trilogy.
Sub-Zero: He’s been in every game. Though not as the same person (see Noob Saibot)
Reptile: Didn’t appear in MK3 but appeared in Ultimate MK3. Was only a cameo in Deception. Also didn’t show up in MK vs. DC Universe.
Noob Saibot: This is where things get tricky. He appeared in the first MK as Sub-Zero, but got killed by Scorpion and resurrected as Noob Saibot. The Sub-Zero from the second game was his younger brother. He wasn’t in Deadly Alliance… sort-of. He was in the GBA “sequel” Tournament Edition. He also didn’t show up in MK vs. DC Universe.
Smoke: Didn’t appear in the first game, Mortal Kombat 4, Deadly Alliance, and DC Universe. Noob and Smoke were a tag team in Deception.

I’m not counting the spin-offs because we’d be here all day. What I’m saying is it’s not a big deal those characters are in the game. MK9’s roster consists of characters that were already in one of the previous games. The only new ones were Cyber Sub-Zero and Skarlet (as DLC), no I’m not counting Kratos or Freddy.

“Talk about nostalgia overload! There’s plenty enough here to keep old-school fans like me very happy” Is “nostalgia overload” another attempted catchphrase?
“Expecting stage fatalities? Yep, they‘re back too!” They never left. They appeared in every game besides Deadly Alliance.
He brings up the return of Babalities and how he wasn’t a big fan. The camera cuts to him saying “well they can’t all be winners” and it cuts back to the game. Strange, I was expecting a dumb Cousin Joey scene to happen. Crap crap crap, now that I said it, it will show up in the “special YouTube version”.

1:23 - 1:40: IG notices how the different kombatants have different fighting styles, noting Smoke using palm strikes and Reptile using grappling moves. … Begrudgingly I have to agree, it’s a nice detail. I guess this is where his “Martial Arts training” comes in, though I still doubt he can actually perform the White Crane style *cough*Predator*cough*.
EDIT: Until it turns out that Reptile and Smoke are just using their throw commands, something ALL the fighters can do. Thanks to Awesome_Allen for telling me this.

1:40 - 2:03: He brings up the different modes. Mentioning that the Challenge Tower has 100 levels. Noo, it has 300 levels. You couldn’t double-check that little detail?
He also says the story mode is awesome. Yes, it’s so awesome he didn’t even beat it (his character roster lacked Quan Chi and Cyber Sub-Zero).

2:04 - 2:44: He puts down the controller to talk about the “extras” the game comes with. Aren’t you supposed to be talking about the game? Who cares what extras it came with?
IG brings up that he got the special Tournament Edition (rather, that’s the version GotGame gave him) and it came with an arcade stick. He then looks over the arcade stick. GET BACK TO THE GAME! This isn’t that impressive, all the Capcom and Namco fighting games have one.
We then get a shot of him looking “angry” as he plays the game. Otherwise people will forget he’s “Irate”.

2:45 - 2:56: IG brings up how the PS3 version has Kratos, but wonders why he can’t use his long-range attacks. It’s a fighting game, that would not only be cheap it would also be considered cheating.

2:56 - 3:34: He says that he hasn’t unlocked anyone because he “thinks you have to beat the story mode”. He just confessed to not beating the story mode! Holy shit! Add another video to the “he just didn’t care” pile.
He does bring up the downloadable characters, once again reminding us he was at E3 this year.
He brings up Freddy Kruger, and does a reaction shot of… I have no clue what that’s supposed to be. Shock? Terror? I’m going with “Derp”.
He wasn’t fond of the idea, but has warmed up to it and will probably download him. Whatever the video is almost over.

The video ends with IG saying it’s a fantastic game and to go get it, followed by an annoyed “Game On” and a dumb “Toasty” joke.

Well that was idiotic. He didn’t beat story mode, he barely explained the fighting mechanics or gameplay, he wasted time talking about the god damn arcade stick, he didn’t even mention multiplayer, PSN is no longer down so he has no excuse, praised the dumbest things (GUYS THIS GAME HAS SUB-ZERO! THIS IS HUGE!), and overall this was just dumb.

But I figured it would be, given how he drools over Mortal Kombat. I don’t think he likes it for the fighting, he only likes it because there’s blood and gore. That may have been cool in 1992 but now we have plenty of games with graphic violence, it’s not that amazing in 2011.

UPDATE: IG uploaded the trailer/update to YouTube. Yeah, it's a bad sign I can get the recap out warning people how bad it is before he can inform his subscribers it's up.
Usual stuff, tells people it's up at GotGame. Then he says "very in-depth review". Oh for the love of... This review was about as in-depth as an empty cup of pudding! How is it people don't see his rampant egotism?
He also announces the contest winners for his Star Trek posters, putting the names of the winners on screen. Enjoy your cheap posters, Irate Gamer will continue not to care about you.
He mentions more contests but needs to "sort out the details". Translation: I'm still looking for cheap crap around my house to send to you.
"More stuff coming" Yeah yeah I don't care.

So when's that DVD coming? Or is it another empty promise?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Oh Look, More Cereal. 20 Year Old TMNT Cereal.

Last month, in my RoboCop recap, I said “why does Bores bother to advertise I Rate the 80’s? He hasn’t made a new one in a year.” Well surprise surprise, an all new “Breakfast Rant 2.0”.

Good lord this is going to be stupid. Well, maybe he’ll do another toy. I’m surprised that last one he did wasn’t food related.
“Ninja Turtles cereal” OH GOD DAMN IT!
Cereal again? What is your obsession with that stuff? I get the feeling if he had breakfast at a hotel, he’d ignore the freshly-made bacon & eggs, pancakes, omelettes, and head straight for the cold cereal.

… Let’s go then.

*sees description* That crazy reviewer? Well, at least he got it right. He is crazy… though not in the way he intended. Better than calling himself a “lovable gamer” at least.

0:05 - 0:20: “Welcome back 80’s fans” Ha! 80’s fans. They’re not even watching this shit. Hey Chris, most of your fans were born around 1998.
We also see his “set”, a bunch of 80’s toys on his desk. “Oh man, look at all this 80’s stuff I have! This will make me cool right?”
He mentions how cereal companies did “gimmick cereals” based off Saturday Morning Cartoons. Mentioning Strawberry Shortcake and… Super Mario Bros. That cereal wasn’t based off the cartoon Bores.
Oh God, he has a box of it. I hope he understands that a 20 year old cereal will taste cardboard covered in slime.

0:20 - 0:47: A green screen grocery aisle. You’re making a video about cereal, is this necessary? I also love how he’s implying this is the 80’s even though the boxes of Cookie Crisp have the wolf mascot introduced three years ago.
He brings up that the box he has is unopened (I doubt it will still be good) but he won’t reveal how he got it. Off eBay, don’t try to act “mysterious” when the answer is almost always eBay.

Oh wait, that was to set-up a cutaway gag. … Who’s this? Some guy with a beard shows up. He’s not Scottie, or Eric “Wise Sage” Allen, or Brad “The Genie” Harp. The credits tell me nothing. So, Bores has another person willing to show up in his videos. USE HIM! Don’t play every character yourself! Especially when they’re background extras, that’s just moronic!
The bearded guy won the box off eBay and tells Bores about it. He gives him the box to hold when his phone rings, Bores uses this distraction to switch it with a box of Mini-Wheats. Wow, what an asshole. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to “in-character” here. Then again, even out-of-character he’s still a thief.
Also, where’s this gag located? Well, clearly it’s in Chris’ house (TMNT figures, the scroll) but the way they bump into each other implies a different location. If so, does Bores just carry a box of Mini-Wheats around in case he finds a rare cereal? Given his cereal obsession this wouldn’t surprise me.

0:48 - 1:15: He gets to opening the box. After he does that he takes out a bowl and starts pouring it. Wait, the box was supposed to be unopened. Why is the bag inside open?
He points out the cereal resembles Chex with marshmallows, though the marshmallows are brown. That should be a clue NOT to eat the cereal Chris.
“Let’s check out this box” I sense padding.

1:15 - 1:33: Bores points out the Turtles on the front, and despite clearly being able to see them all, he lists off what they’re holding. He notes Raphael “bringing the tunes” and Michelangelo bringing a net. Cue record scratch and a little forced anger. You find issues with Mikey holding a net but have no qualms with Raphael holding a radio. Whatever.

1:34 - 1:51: “Now let’s move to the side of the box” I was right, padded to Hell. This video is only 2 minutes, 39 seconds and it still needed trimming.
He reads off some of the ingredients. Holy shit! It’s a box of cereal! Even your little kid fans have seen a box of cereal! God!
He also notices it was made by Purina, as in the dog food, and wonders if that’s why the marshmallows are brown. No, the marshmallows are brown because it’s a 20 year old cereal. Also, that’s “Ralston-Purina”. Before 1994, they made both animal food and cereal. Notably Chex and Cookie Crisp (which is why this cereal is Chex with marshmallows).

1:52 - 2:04: He moves onto the back. God damn it…
He brings up how this box has trading cards related to the TMNT movie, and notes how other boxes had puzzles, contests, and “ho-lograms”. Hang on, Captain Picard is calling me. He wants me in the “ho-lodeck” to do a “ho-lographic” simulation.
Jeez, Chris is acting like nobody has ever had cereal. Like cereal is some high-end food like filet mignon or caviar. This is really sad.

2:05 - 2:14: “So how do I rate this one?” Wait, you’re actually going to rate it? Wow, he actually stays honest to his title. That’s a first.
He says he remembers not liking it, but the nostalgia alone rates it as “Nostalgia Overload”. I don’t get it. You didn’t like the cereal but the fact it’s Ninja Turtles is enough of an “overload”. You do realize there’s a ton of other TMNT products that can provide a “nostalgia overload”. I don’t know…

The video ends with him pouring milk into the bowl. You’re not…
Then he takes a bite and immediately spits it out. WELL HOW DID YOU THINK IT WAS GOING TO TASTE?! God damn it…
And to add more time to the video, we get a shot of him going “bleh” to the camera. Because spitting it out wasn’t enough of an indication that you didn’t like it.

Well that was a complete waste. It took him over a year to make another “I Rate the 80’s” and it’s something that could have been a minute long. And again with the green screen, it isn’t needed in something this simple!

Guess I’ll wait for IG’s eventual Mortal Kombat 9 review. That will be a joke.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Next IG DVD Coming "Soon"

It's been almost four years since IG released his first DVD, a rush job released to beat the AVGN's first DVD. Did the first DVD do that well? I don't know, Bores never brought it up. He never mentioned selling out of stock, or needing to restock, or any implication that the DVD was doing well. I figured that when he did a contest to give away free copies, he was overstocked and nobody was buying.

So with that assumption, I wondered "why would you even consider making another one?"
News of the next DVD was sparse, Bores would sometimes mention he's "hard at work" on it but most saw it as "reassurance" to the few fans he has.
A while ago, he mentioned he was working on THREE DVDs. IG volume 2 and 3, and a separate DVD for History of Video Games (making it a completely different series). Again, I thought it was more reassurance.

On July 20th 2011, this updated appeared on his site.
I must get at least 10 emails a week asking about the status of the dvd's. Well finally I can tell you they are coming! And not just one volume, but 2! This double dose of Volume 2 and 3 will be here in August!
Been talking to some interesting people and more great news coming soon!


As usual, he has to remind us "he get lotsa e-mails" to ensure he's still popular (HA!)
Why release two volumes? Why not release one big volume? I have a feeling it's money-related.
August huh? We'll see...
What does he mean by "interesting people"? That's an extremely vague term. Is he trying to be "mysterious"?

So the DVD is set for next month. I put "soon" in quotation marks because we know of IG's habit of never keeping his promises. If it does come out next month, I'll be surprised.
I imagine any DVD exclusive extras will be uploaded to YouTube or other sites shortly after release.
Nearly four years, good lord that's lazy. That's all I really have to say about the DVD. I can't believe he hasn't learned his lesson from his first pile of crap barely selling.

On a slightly different subject, IG will never reach 100 episodes. Hell, at this rate we'd be lucky to see 50.
How many episodes does he officially have? Let's see.
Neo and History of Video Games don't count. Two-part episodes released the same day count as one episode.
30 episodes. Wow... And that's counting the Retro Mini "commercial" (normally I wouldn't).

That's all for now.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Deja Vu: Critical IG Videos Getting Flagged

Feels like it's 2008 in here. Various videos bashing the Irate Gamer are being taken down for "copyright infringement". Whether they're parodies, commentaries, or even simple "Bores n Doors" they're facing the illegal iron fist of... Cry Wolf Productions?

Back when the first flaggings started, they were also for copyright infringement. But the company was Y2B Productions, Bores' little one-man company that legally has no copyright and thus the flagging was illegal. After about a year he came to his senses and stopped trying to hide the videos pointing out why he's wrong as the task was futile and it only made him look like a bigger douche.

But who is Cry Wolf Productions? Right now, nobody knows. Searches have brought up a distribution company located in Texas, far away from where Bores lives. It could just be a fake name for a group of trolls that don't like seeing their idol getting bashed. It could be Bores using a new name, knowing that Y2B Productions would immediately give away what he's doing.

So as a warning to anyone with anti-IG videos on YouTube, put them on private. Wait for this bullshit to blow over and bring them back up. That's all I can really say.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

E3 2011 Part 3: Have We Reached The End? (UPDATE)

This is the coverage that doesn’t end, it goes on and on my friends. Most people have completely moved to better gaming news, but Irate Gamer doesn’t and that is why this is the coverage that doesn’t end. Because this is the coverage that never… oh it ended?
After a long painful month of asking the same questions, claiming to be a fan of stuff he clearly hasn’t heard of, and terrorism, IG’s E3 coverage is over! And man these last videos are quite the punch to the gut.

Let’s finish this!

Video 17: LittleBigPlanet for Playstation Vita (June 27th)
http://gotgame.com/2011/06/27/little-big-planet-psvita-first-look/
“Woohoo LBP fans!!” That’s from the description, there’s no context for it being there. Can’t write a description? Just shout something completely random
We then get a demo of the game, and other than touch screen and gyroscope additions it looks exactly the same as all the other LBP titles. God I’m bored.
After the snooze-inducing demo, it jumps into an interview. All he asks is “when is it coming out?”

Video 18: Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure (June 28th)
http://gotgame.com/2011/06/28/skylanders-spyros-adventure-exclusive-look/
Really? This piece of crap? I hope he doesn’t say it looks good because nobody thinks this is going to be good. You have to buy action figures to unlock different characters (more of Activision‘s money pool generators), and Spyro looks like he was hit with the biggest stick from the ugly tree.

“Dat looks awesome” Ugh. All I can think of is Eye of Judgement. These characters are so generic, why would I want to play as them?
Chop Chop, Prism Break, Ignitor, Flameslinger? Yeah I know I’m ranting more about the game itself but IG isn’t saying anything.
“It kind of reminds me of Pokemon” … On second thought, stop talking Bores. Just don’t talk.
As usual, IG asks the same damn questions. More characters, consoles, and release date. It’s like he has a checklist and he MUST follow it.

But, the part that gets me is at the end. IG does his idiotic “game on” signoff, and Jeff from Activision there repeats it. You know, I like to think that the other representatives hear him say that and wonder “Is this guy for real? Is GotGame like some Nickelodeon thing?” Activision sucks.

Video 19: 3DS Games (June 29th)
http://gotgame.com/2011/06/29/irate-gamer-e3-3ds-games-rundown/
“The Irate Gamer checks out 4 titles on the 3Ds” … You’re doing this on purpose now aren’t you? “Hey maw, I just done gone saw one of dem movin pictures in da 3Ds”, that’s what it sounds like to me.

YouTube Description: "Only a few more E3 vids left. Then we'll return you to your regularly scheduled programming" You have a schedule? Do you share it with Scott Ramsoomair?

He looks at Luigi’s Mansion 2, says he didn’t like it. Next!
He looks at “the new Star Fox 64 game”. Well, at least saying it like that is correct since there is more than one Star Fox 64. Though I can sum up his thoughts as “it looks cool, and Star Fox fans should be pleased”
Then he looks at Mario Kart, “it looks cool, it has new power-ups, and it looks cool in the third dimension”. Well if you aren’t going to elaborate Chris then why should I?

He then moves onto Kid Icarus Uprising, which he had “some disappointments”
“I’m a huge fan of Kid Icarus” Yes, I’m such a huge fan that I’ve never said the hero’s name correctly.
He says the controls are confusing, circling things because he thinks we’re morons. Also, that’s an analog stick not a d-pad.
He also says the battle system was annoying, but this one he barely goes indepth.
“Setting up the game this way…” Something about that line doesn’t sound right.
“Gameplay aside, the graphics and 3D were awesome” Basically he just said “screw gameplay, I only care for graphics!” Gameplay is more important you fool!

He ends the video saying he also played Super Mario 3D, but “that’s a review for another day”. So you’re going to wait until the game comes out? Oh wait no, he just confused “review” and “preview” again. Because they’re so similar.

Video 20: Star Wars Kinect (June 30th)
http://gotgame.com/2011/06/30/star-wars-kinect-e3-exclusive-details-revealled/
“This intrepid interviewer…” You don’t know what that means do you? An intrepid interviewer/reporter/journalist is someone that goes into risky areas like war zones or corrupt businesses. You’re an asshole that went to a convention open to thousands of people asking questions anyone with a grain of common sense could figure out.

“… strikes gold yet again when a yet to be revealed fact about the game slips out” E3 ended three weeks ago, any “facts” you have will likely have been reported by better news sources. Even if it is something “new”, nobody cares. You’re the only moron that thinks this piece of shit looks playable. I haven’t even gotten to the video!

The video does begin with Bores playing the game and someone telling him how it works. The more I see of this game, the more I understand how idiotic it is. Put this on the Wii or Playstation 3 with Move exclusive controls, at least I have something concrete to hold onto. Pretending I’m holding a lightsaber is like going back to the stone age, no wait they actually had clubs and rocks, this is just outright stupid! This is why they made toys, so you can hold something when you’re playing Jedi.

“Decapitation Chris that was awesome” What have I said about talking? Oh wait, that was someone else… don’t talk either way.
We then enter interview mode. IG asks the same damn questions that we can see from the trailer, and this Matt guy from LucasArts says “iconic” more than Joe Maddelana (look him up kids).
And where’s this “revealed fact” that he bragged about? All of this I could see from the footage!

Video 21: Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City (July 1st)
http://gotgame.com/2011/07/01/resident-evil-operation-raccoon-city-e3-first-look/
“I’m a big fan of the Resident Evil games” Your review of Resident Evil 5 says otherwise.
After Eric from Capcom explains that it’s a team-based game, IG asks “Is there one main character we’re playing as?” Did you not listen to what he was saying? This is like that G.I. Joe interview from two years ago.
“Will we be saying any classics like Jill or Chris?” You can clearly see Leon and Claire. You know, the characters you don’t know of because the only Resident Evil game you played was 5, I’m surprised you know Jill considering you didn’t get past the first level.

The video ends with a shot of Bores looking at the camera and nodding. What the hell was that? His face didn’t show any emotion so I have no clue what he was trying to convey there.

Video 22: Kirby Wii (July 5th)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVnlh1ptbis
Half the video is a montage of the game as he makes “funny faces” to the camera. Do his fans really find these reaction shots funny?
“Wow oh wow” Careful there, you almost channeled Arch Hall Jr.
“Not that Epic Yarn crap” God damn it I knew he would say this! We get it, you didn’t like Epic Yarn! You gave an extremely hypocritical and poor reason for not liking it, but you’ve established well enough that you didn’t like the game. Quit. Bringing. It. Up!
Then he says it looks amazing and can’t wait for it to come out. That’s it. Boy, that was pointless. Well, more pointless than the other E3 videos. How much longer…

Video 23: Super Mario 3DS (July 6th)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQc8JzgcFkQ
“Of course I saved the best for last” Is… is it over? Are there no more E3 videos after I finish this?
“If you love Mario games, you’ll enjoy this installment too” I hate when he says this, I really do.
“And this time, he’s in 3D” I thought he was in 3D back in 1996 when Super Mario 64 came ohhhh you mean the other 3D. The one that's just a fad right now.
He brings up old enemies and shows footage of Rocky Wrench while calling him “this guy”. You did this voiceover in post-production, you seriously couldn’t go to the Mario Wiki and find “Rocky Wrench”? Also, this isn’t their big comeback. They showed up in Super Mario Galaxy and New Super Mario Bros. Wii.
After some more rambling, it then enters a montage with that stock rock track he’s used before. Oh god damn it his Pac-Man Fever is coming out! Not at E3 you moron! Why is he angry? Didn't he say he liked the game? Also, he’s using footage from the trailer. I don’t care anymore, this E3 shit is over!

What do I make of that? The captain obvious questions, the feigned interest, caring for games that anyone with an ounce of common sense can tell you are going to suck, Ubisoft, I seriously SERIOUSLY hope GotGame has the sense to not bring him next year. That’s all I really have to say.

What’s next? Well, Bores confirmed on Facebook the next Neo video is Mortal Kombat 9. I imagine it’ll be another video where he forgets his “character” is supposed to be angry, then make up some pointless flaw because he couldn’t find a real one. Followed by a regular Irate Gamer episode on RoboCop 2 & 3. I guess we’ll see that in January.

UPDATE: Oh GOD DAMN IT! I knew it was too good to be true! IG uploaded yet another E3 video.

Video 24: Top 5 E3 disappointments and let downs. (July 7th)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EblJex6ojDs
Oh this is going to suck.
The video isn't at E3, but at his house.

1. WWE '12
He didn't like how there was only four characters, no arenas or announcements, not understanding why this was one the show floor. Because the WWE series is big and THQ will do everything to show it off. And no mention on how it dropped the "Smackdown vs. Raw" title?

2. Final Fantasy XIII-2
Or as he calls it, "the new Final Fantasy game". Look, with Final Fantasy you have to be specific since Square-Enix milks that crap.
He says the graphics are pretty, but he hasn't been "wowed" since Final Fantasy IX. He didn't understand the story and he felt the "attack system" was dated. You didn't play Final Fantasy XIII did you? It's the exact same system, it's not "dated". It came out in late 2009.
He demands that Square fixes it so one attacks like the old games or one attacks like "God of War". You mean like the Tales series, or the Kingdom Hearts series, or Final Fantasy Versus XIII? ... God damn it you're an idiot.

Oh, and I missed this the first time around. He calls it "Final Fantasy XII". You clearly edited this video Bores, you didn't even notice that? Or do you fail with roman numerals?

3. X-Men Destiny
Or "the new X-Men game". Is it really that difficult to say titles?
He says he didn't like how you don't play as any of the actual X-Men, but three students created for the game. Begrudgingly... I agree. I have zero interest in this game. Bleh, I just agreed with Bores. I feel unclean.

4. Twisted Metal
Finally, some elaboration on his throw-away line from the Sony Conference video... pfft.
He said it felt rehashed. It's the first real Twisted Metal game in a long time! In fact, the car battle genre isn't exactly a big one.

5. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
Oh boy, here we go. He does acknowledge people will get mad at him for it. ... Too easy.
He thought the controls were "clunky" and felt switching weapons was a "pain in the butt." First off, do you know what clunky controls are? The Wii tries to avoid this with the limited buttons. Second, pain in the butt? Quit trying to keep this PG.
He says others agreed with him, and that it's all a bad sign and things need to be improved and blah blah blah. People are still going to buy it, and they're going to lavishly praise it. That's just how the world works.
He then says he wants a gritty, adult Zelda, similar to God of War. Go fuck yourself. I've seen assholes say similar things like this, and they're laughed off the forum for being so childish. It's not "mature" to want a gritty Zelda, it's extremely simple-minded. It's the "Call of Duty audience" mindset and frankly I find it disgusting.
He then brings up the Wii U tech demo and hopes the graphics are like that. Yeaaaah, Nintendo reported they won't look like that.

In a dishonorable mention, he was disappointed in THQ for not showing a new Voltron game because they secured the rights for it. That doesn't mean anything, it just means they have the rights to make a game, it doesn't mean they must make one.
"Damn it" *pounds table* Grr, I'm angry. Can't you tell how angry I am that there's no Voltron? Grrr.

In his "Want More" card at the end, he advertises the "Best of 3E" coming so ... you seriously didn't spot that?
Whatever, when he releases his goddamn Best Of list I'll edit this to include it.

UPDATE: For the love of... before we're "treated" to his Best Of list, we have to deal with another video from the show.

Video 25: Legend Zelda Wii-U Tech Demo - Irate Edit (July 8th)
No, that's really what the video is titled. "Legend Zelda", what the hell is wrong with you?
"I had to manually insert every sound FX heard in this video. Took me awhile to put together so i hope you enjoy" ... Is this what he means by "Irate Edit"? This is going to hurt.

He shows the tech demo with sounds he added. It didn't hurt, but I really have to ask why? This could have been time spent on making actual content, instead of pointless edits that weren't needed. Can you just end this Bores? Nobody cares anymore!

UPDATE: Video 26: Top 5 Best of E3 (July 12th)
Are we at the end? I hope we are. The well is bone-dry.
"I know some will disagree with my choices since this was a big year for First Person Shooters, but I don't really get into those" Bores, most gamers are really sick of the FPS genre. Don't try to act like your "high and mighty" by not including Modern Warfare 3 or Halo 4 on your list.

1. Super Mario 3DS
He just reiterates everything said in his preview video (see above), he calls it a "review" in an annotation link. Someone really should tell him the difference.

2. Sonic Generations
Once again he goes on about how awesome it is, calls it a "review" in his annotation link blah blah blah. He comments that fans have been wanting a Sonic game similar to the Genesis titles for "a couple years". Try a decade!

By the way, this is a 3 minute 21 second video, we're not even a minute in and he's already on the third game of his Top 5 list.

3. Ninja Gaiden 3
Whoa! He said it correctly! Maybe he does listen to me. Or one of the people at GotGame smacked him off-screen and said "it's GUY-den you fuckwit".
"There's lots of action, lots of button-smashing" Dumb complaint but it's button-mashing not smashing. Jeez, he can't even get the terminology right.
He also says he got an interview with the developers but he scrapped it because they didn't tell him much. How is this different from your other interviews? Oh wait, they might have actually told you stuff if you weren't a dipshit and asked questions like "Is the downloadable Mortal Kombat fighter also going to have special moves?"

4. Star Wars Kinect
I KNEW IT! You have got to be kidding me. I would have preferred you put Modern Warfare 3 on the list, as linear as it is at least it has a decent amount of control.
"It's really cool, you jump, you lightsaber, you've got force pushing" Stuff you can do in a lot of Star Wars games. Waving your arms isn't a good incentive. Also, when did lightsaber become a verb?

5. Kirby Wii
Five bucks says he bashes Epic Yarn again.
He didn't outright bash it, he just said "it wasn't the game I was wanting, this is blah blah blah".

Unfortunately that's not the end of the video. He brings up the 3DS Streetpass and how it works, and that he got a lot of different Miis and people e-mailing him saying they got his Mii. I don't care? He also says he'll get a 3DS review out in the future because he gets requests for it. Can't bring up a possible video without creating the illusion he has fans.
"There's one more video" NOOOO oh it's just bloopers. Well fuck that! I am done with this! Holy crap this took forever.

Cross your fingers that GotGame wises up and doesn't invite him next year. I hope they gave him shit for the Ubisoft video.
So what's next? Probably going to wait for his Mortal Kombat 9 video, or do a Redux Recap.