It’s that time of year again, IG attempting another Halloween special. 2007 gave us Zombies Ate My Neighbors, a horrible video where he bashed an excellent game. 2008 gave us Monster Party, a turning point in IG’s videos where sketches have a higher priority than reviews. 2009 gave us the “premiere” of I Rate the 80s where he talked about Fruity Yummy Mummy, an awful cereal that was discontinued (with Bores showing how little he knows about business). Last year it was Castlevania: Harmony of Despair .
This year, it’s more 80’s crap. He’s going to look at Madballs, toy rubber balls that incorporate gross out humor (because that was popular for some reason). If it’s anything like his Garbage Pail Kids video, I better grab the most potent caffeine I can find.
0:04 - 0:18: IG’s set is all “dark and spooky” like the MK Arcade Kollection video. Seriously what’s with the cauldron?
“Short lived toys that brought on a whole new meaning to sports balls” First line in the video and it’s fucking stupid. Madballs were toys, they weren’t going to be a big sport or anything. They weren’t going to held on the same level as a baseball or a soccer ball, they were just rubber balls with faces.
0:19 - 0:43: “Back in 1985” Will you stop using modern day footage when establishing a year? It’s horribly anachronistic!
He brings up the Garbage Pail Kids and how they were huge hit. Never mind that Wacky Packages came first and in fact were the reason Garbage Pail Kids even existed.
IG holds up a baseball, but turns it around to show it’s one of the Madballs. My question is why did he “react” when he turned it around? He had a straight face while looking at the Madball part, but “shocked” when he turned it around to the blank side.
0:44 - 1:02: He lists off the original series Madballs, ending on Crack Head so he can bring up how its name was changed to Bash Brain due to the slang term for crack users. He also shows a picture of Paris Hilton. Yes, I’m sure she was doing crack at age four. At least show a drug user from the 80s. Like Eddie Van Halen, or Drew Barrymore.
1:03 - 2:02: He brings up how “smart” it was to not make them hard like baseballs. It’s more common sense than smart really. If you’re going to make a collectable in the shape of a ball, don’t make it hard enough to hurt someone and get sued.
Wait wait wait, his set is bright again! What’s the point of using the “Spooky Set” in the opening if you aren’t going to use it again? Consistency is for losers!
IG talks about “fan favorites” bringing up Oculus Orbus and Hornhead. For some reason he pictures of them float next to him. Hornhead speaks… oh God this is going to lead into a painfully unfunny sketch.
Bingo! Slobulus appears and argues that he should be on the promotional material. Screamin Meemie appears for no reason. They argue a bit, IG tells them they’re all gruesome enough to be on promotional material, calls Crack Head ugly, then Crack Head appears and hits him. Screamin Meemie laughs at him. Where’s the humor in this? Where’s the joke? How is this funny?
2:02 - 2:36: IG lists off the second series Madball, ending on Lock Lips. Why? Because it’s one he had as a kid, leading into… oh no he’s doing the JD stare.
A fucking flashback sketch. So *sighs* Little Chris here (dressed as Mario for some reason) bounces a Madball, it hits him in the head, and he starts crying. Could these sketches be anymore stock? Also, “Little Chris” here didn’t take much effort. It’s just Cousin Joey wearing red. He didn’t even bother to make himself look smaller, all he did was sit down.
2:37 - 3:10: IG notes that by the second series they’ve run out of ideas. Cue more annoying sketches!
Hornhead and Lock Lips tell him to explain himself. He says a couple are unoriginal (look in the mirror Chris) and that Snake Bait looks like a clown medusa. This causes Snake Bait to appear, hit him again and for Screamin Meemie to laugh. This will happen once more, god damn Rule of Three.
3:11 - 3:54: He brings up the various tie-in merchandise, lists off a few of them including a comic book from Marvel.
He then gets to the animated cartoon, but says it was only cancelled after one episode. Actually, there were two episodes made. Both released on VHS.
“I can’t recall if this ever aired on TV” It didn’t, they were only released on home video.
He mentions that it must have been horrific to be cancelled after one episode. Like the Chris & Scottie Road Trip? Oh wait, that had 3 episodes. My mistake.
His comment about the show has him get by a Madball and laughed at by Screamin Meemie (and we have Rule of Three, shocker of shockers). IG hits the laughing baseball.
3:55 - 4:39: Madballs were losing steam, so they attempted to release bigger ones (the Super Madballs as they’re called but he doesn’t mention). He mentions they “closed shop” after the toys started failing. Was that vault door necessary? These visual effects are distracting. … That might be his intention, so people won’t pay attention to his acting and bad writing.
He brings up the short-lived revival and how they “didn’t have the same appeal”. So how did they not have the same appeal? Is this your opinion or was this the public opinion? Because you have to take your age into consideration.
4:39 - 4:58: He moves onto the rating. Oh joy, more “nostalgic overload”.
IG says they didn’t have the same appeal as the Ninja Turtles and he rates it “Nostalgic Mediocre”. Whoa, a different rating? Maybe he’s realized that calling everything an “overload” is fucking stupid! … Wait, Nostalgic Mediocre? That’s terrible! You really couldn’t find a better name for your dumb ratings? Also, what is his criteria? What counts as an overload? He never explained how this shit works! Then again, he only called the show “I Rate the 80s” to appeal to the morons that thought his name was spelled “iRate” and not “Irate”, and in the first three episodes he didn’t rate anything at all.
The video ends with more sketches.
The Madballs themselves aren’t pleased with the rating and all gang up on him. Oh hey, I like these guys. They’re beating up Irate Gamer. I like to think of them as all the Super Mario Bros 2, Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Aladdin fans that he unknowingly pissed off. Freaky Fullback delivers one last blow, followed by more laughter from Screamin Meemie (and he’s broken the Rule of Three, bravo Bores you suck at comedy).
He wakes up… oh no no no he can’t be. He’s animated like the A-ha video “Take On Me”, then the song starts playing and one of the wrench guys appears. What? How does this make sense? He gets knocked out and suddenly he’s in a music video? I don’t get it! Is this to set up that his next episode is about MTV? Because I’m sure there’s a ton of better ways to set that up, ways that make some actual sense! It’s like Bores just did this to show “I can do filters now guys! Aren’t I cool?”
Also, how is he planning to release this on DVD if he has music from A-ha? Does Bores have any foresight AT ALL? God damn it this video was stupid.
It’s funny, I still remember when people were telling me that Bores was improving from TMNT Cereal and Micro Machines videos. Then came the He-Man video, and now this video. Yeah, he’s still doing the same bullshit he does normally. Lack of research, zero explanation, horrid HORRID sketches, and just overall idiocy. I’m pretty sure he got that Take On Me idea from Family Guy, they did a very similar scene that came the fuck out of nowhere. Are his little kid fans even going to get that?
And no mention of the video game? You'd think for someone claiming to be a hardcore gamer, he would at least mention the Commodore 64 game. Granted, that would require him to know what a Commodore 64 was.
Well that’s all. Who knows when we’ll see something new from Bores.