Monday, May 28, 2012

Silver Surfing a Massive Wave of Absolute Lame

How many times are we going to go over this Bores? You can’t establish a “storyline” and take MONTHS to release the next installment. You need consistency! How many months has it been since the last one? *counts* Seven! You’re going to keep losing fans this way! I know there are people subscribed just for the retro reviews. Your fountain of excuses is running dry, pick up the pace!

Now that I got my usual pacing rant out of the way, what’s he going to talk about this time? *sees title* Silver Surfer. …Oh no. Oh no no no no no no. Are we really doing this again?
Let me talk about the bullshit idea of “reviewer dibs”. Just because someone reviews a game, a movie, an album, whatever, DOES NOT mean that it’s off-limits to everyone else. Anyone can talk about anything. Hell, that’s the whole point of Rotten Tomatoes, different perspectives from various critics. Perspective is key! The issue is when people clearly steal from others, such is the case of Chris Bores.
I don’t like talking about that aspect of his videos, but to this day there are STILL hundreds of comments that still call him an AVGN rip-off. It’s a stigma he will NEVER get rid of, no matter how original he tries to be.
And yet here you are Chris, taking a look at a game that happens to be one of his most popular reviews. Don’t give me that bullshit excuse of “I don’t watch him anymore”, the AVGN’s Silver Surfer episode was from June 2007, and going by your iratefanboy345 videos, you have seen it!
But maybe this is why the episode took so long, he constantly watched the AVGN’s Silver Surfer episode in order to make sure he doesn’t reuse his jokes. We’ll see what happens.

As for the storyline side of things, here’s what’s happened last time.
After pretending the robot army that attacked the city never happened, IG receives a magical sword from a monk (according to his site, that’s what it was). It gives him the ability to turn his shirt red and… play video games better I think. The monk returns to his master as they go on about IG being the Chosen One. Audiences everywhere are rolling their eyes in this sea of clichés.
And now, the continuation.

Bores has been hyping this episode by changing his website and Facebook page to something about the Pixel Demon. Any questions asked by fans were met with “PIXEL DEMON”. He can’t even think of “creepy” stuff to say. Like “There was a reviewer here, he’s gone now” or “The Irate one has gone quiet, soon you shall join him”.

*reads description* He mentions that the show has reached its 5th Year Anniversary. Yeah, last month. I even made a post about it. You probably didn’t even know until Guru Larry reminded you.
He celebrates by reviewing this game, apparently he wanted to review this back in “Season 1” but put it on the backburner. Translation: AVGN reviewed it back in 07 and he was getting flack for stealing from him.
He also brings up the ending will make the long wait worth it. Sounds like this is going to be pain.

0:00 - 1:20: Our video opens with a news report, “Evening News from Johnny Newscaster”. … We’re in trouble already.
Really? That’s the name you came up with? Hell, why stop there? Here’s a young woman that works at Starbucks, her name is Elizabeth Coffeserver. How about this construction worker? He’ll be Jacob Buildingmaker. Are you writing this for five year olds?

Johnny (Bores in another wig) reports on the robot invasion. Oh now you bring it up. Then what was the point of the last episode? Just to introduce the sword?
He reports that the person that orchestrated the attack is… with them. Suddenly the Evil Gamer pops up “by via” satellite. Psst, trace the signal and call the police!
Oh come on! Evil Gamer just revealed his plans to you! Call the FBI or something! He attacked your city with robots!
Then we get a satellite feed with, oh great, Tony… Rockenheimer? Is that even a real name? *Googles* It’s a character from the Flintstones. … Odd, out-of-place reference. Hang on, he had a different last name in the Home Improvement video! Tony Borland. … which happens to be a reference to Home Improvement. Is this going to be Tony’s running joke? He’ll have a different last name from a TV show every time he appears? Because that’s not funny!
Tony is seen broadcasting from a gym. I know you’re trying to establish him as a tough guy, but it’s really not working. He tells the Evil Gamer to watch out and they’re coming for him. EG brushes it off.

Then Devil Bores also shows up, complimenting EG for thinking up a robot army before he did. You know what Voltron is, clearly they must have had an episode with a robot invasion. Then his souffle has finished, continuing to show how lame this version of Satan is.
THEN the Irate Gamer shows up, with Evil Gamer letting out a loud “WHAT?” Heh, that’s actually better than the one the Genie delivered. Take lessons Brad.
IG is seen looking through his shelf of games when he’s interrupted, saying he has nothing to contribute as he’s about to review a game. Johnny is surprised since he has 25 minutes left to fill. How about other news? No, instead Johnny asks if anyone knows show tunes, then Kool-Aid Man appears via satellite with a dusty explosion effect. Uhh, point? Purpose? Hello?

1:21 - 1:46: It cuts to IG who says that he’s going to talk about Silver Surfer. He acknowledges that other people have reviewed this game before. That’s not going to get you off the hook that easily…
But he intends to make it to the end. This almost seems like a way of saying “I’m going to do what that other guy couldn’t”, even though I’ve seen people do what that other guy couldn’t. Specifically LordKat and Aqualung’s Game Reviews. By the way, this game does have a cheat for invincibility. Not even Game Genie, a legit in-game cheat. So I’m going to keep an eye out on that.

He tells that if we don’t like it, we can click off to another channel, prompting the video to switch to some Western show (I feel I should know it, but I don’t). IG comes on screen and tells them to switch back. Making the jokes for me, he’s starting to catch on.

1:47 - 2:16: IG goes through the brief story, then arrives at the stage select screen. He remarks that it reminds him of Mega Man. He mentions the water world, space world, and ghost world. Then yells out that it IS a rip-off of Mega Man. No it’s not! Mega Man is not a Gradius style shoot-em-up. When do you scroll in Mega Man? Or die in one hit from enemy contact? Or just from touching a non-lethal wall? You don’t! And when did Mega Man have a “ghost world”?
Turns out this was all an excuse to have a “joke” where IG shakes his fist at the screen, then Mega Man comes in and does the same. When all else fails, use sprites! Surely this will make people laugh for some reason.
EDIT: Shade Man in Mega Man 7 is considered a ghost world. Thanks to Dorseh for pointing this out.
And Mega Man 4 does have an auto-scrolling stage in Dr. Cossack's castle. Thanks to Justin De Lucia for pointing this out.



2:17 - 2:49: He starts on Possessor’s world (while referencing Bret Hart, another person I‘m sure your fans don‘t know) and attempts to review it. I say attempts as he immediately dies. He tries again and dies again. Letting out a cry of “Gosh damn it!” Are you trying to combine “family friendly” and “curse-laden adult show” into one? You can’t have it both ways! Pick your audience! Same goes with your references *points to Bret Hart above*
He tries a third time and dies a third time. Getting a game over then complaining about no save feature. You just started the game and died three times at the beginning of one stage. You made zero progress, why are you begging for a save feature now?
Then his head explodes. Sweet! Review over! Time to post this.
I find it odd how his neck stump looks like MS Paint.

2:50 - 3:31: Of course not, there’s still over six minutes left.
IG erupts into a rant about the game’s difficulty. The same type of spiel you’ve heard from anyone else that’s talked about this game. Nothing really new. Just him begging for extra health or something. Though I do notice his life count is oddly high. Do I sense Game Genie?
“This game sucks! It blows! And it’s a piece of-” *dies* “SHIT!” So saying “shit” is okay, but don’t you dare take the lord’s name in vain.

3:32 - 4:13: He pauses the game to chart a path. That’s not the Silver Surfer pause sound, that’s the Mario pause sound. Not every game pauses that way Chris *points to E.T. on GBA*.
After charting a path, he tries but dies in one second. He screams and breaks the glass of his camera. I will say, he’s finally living up to his name. He is “Irate”.
He takes out his NES Advantage and heavily abuses the turbo and slow buttons. He says it’s not better as he still loses even in slow-motion. Prompting him to scream in slow-motion. Okay, tone it down now. You don’t have to over-exaggerate every single scream. That was what, three screams in three minutes?

4:14 - 4:56: He goes on about how the controls aren’t much better, especially when it comes to other weapons. He says the B button does nothing while the Select button fires the alternate weapon. That’s actually completely untrue. The B button moves the cannon beneath your board so you can fire at enemies behind you, and the Select button detonates a bomb, something you have a LIMITED supply of. Like in most shoot-em-ups.

He asks if Pablo Picasso designed the controls. Then what I imagine is his attempt at a Picasso type human appears and says “Yes” (oh that’s Pablo himself). IG tells him to “fuck off” and he retorts “You know nothing of my work!” I agree, that looks nothing like a Picasso painting. Hang on, that line sounded like a Family Guy reference.
This joke could have worked had it made sense and you used an actual Picasso painting and not your lame attempt at recreating one.
But he says the weapons don’t matter as one can’t stay alive long enough to use them.

4:57 - 5:51: After yelling “gosh damn it” again (seriously, what the hell?), he tells R.O.B. he wants to see the end of the game, and R.O.B. nods in agreement. I think that scene was just an excuse to show stop-motion, maybe you could shed a couple months off your production time by just having it sit still and talk. Like every other show with a R.O.B. sidekick. Sure it’s cliché, but it’s efficient.

He’s had enough and breaks out the Game Genie. Of course…
He rubs the Game Genie- wait a second. Does this mean? Will we finally see the return of the Genie after three years?! Holy shit!
Come on out Brad Harp! *sees it’s Chris wearing his clothes* WHAT? You couldn’t even get him back?! … I knew it! I knew he would do this! I predicted that Harp wouldn’t work with him again or something similar and that Chris would have to fill in the role. God damn it! I hate it when I’m right!
IG does acknowledge this change, noting he looks different from last time. Wait, you remember him? But didn’t the Aladdin review end with IG and Wise Sage’s memories getting erased? How would he know what he looked like last time? Ugh, I haven’t seen a plot hole this bad since… his MUSCLE review. Once again, Bores clearly doesn’t give a shit about continuity.

So what’s the Genie’s explanation for his different look? He was locked up in there a long time, then “If Doctor Who can do it, I can do it too.” … Excuse me while I go unleash the fury of a thousand Time Lords.
*One hour later*
I think I just turned that blood-stained tree into paper. Why was it stained in blood? *breathes* Okay, I’m calm now. Let’s keep going.

IG asks the Genie to give him infinite lives. He sprinkles dust on him,  but IG tells him the game not him. Clearly IG already has infinite lives, he is the “Chosen One” after all.
The Genie is noticeably smaller than last time, likely due to Bores pulling double duty here again.

5:52 - 7:20: He goes on to describe how each stage is divided into three sections, each ending on a boss. He beats a stage boss, gets a device piece, and “celebrates”. Yet despite blatantly cheating, Bores still complains the game is too hard. It’s kind of hard to take that complaint seriously when you give yourself infinite lives.
He notes that even with Game Genie, you’ll be hit with a constant barrage of death after death after death after death after… this sounds familiar.

He beats all five stages and moves on to the final one, and is shocked to see the villain is Mr. Sinister. I’ll admit that is kind of strange, he’s not a Silver Surfer villain.
But he continues to complain, wondering why this game was made, right up to the final boss and how you don’t even fight Mr. Sinister. Instead, fighting a purple alien with a gun. IG facepalms at this.

The video ends with the final boss walking off-screen (something he does in the game to avoid your shots) when fake text appears on screen saying “Your Next Challenger Awaits!” followed by “The Pixel Demon is Coming”. IG wonders what that is. The Genie hears this and teleports away scared. Hang on, didn’t you have some revenge plan you wanted to enact? The stinger to the Aladdin video seemed to imply that. Did Bores just scrap that? Given how it’s taken three years for that character to reappear, I’m not surprised…

Then R.O.B. flies away and the in-game Silver Surfer sprite flies off-screen. IG wonders what the hell is going on. Then the monk from the last episode shows up. Oooooh, now I see. The monk tells him to use the Inferno Force. Hang on, I know his magical sword is called the “Sword of Inferno” but what’s the Inferno Force? Establish this stuff!
Apparently, the Pixel Demon is locked away in every copy of Silver Surfer, and the game was purposely made impossible so it wouldn’t be released. … That is fucking stupid! This sounds like the worst Creepypasta ever, you’re making “WHO WAS PHONE?” sound dignified!

So IG, I guess, summons the Inferno Force, using lots of a special effects. Something next to him appears as we see the Pixel Demon walk on screen. The thing IG was summoning fully appears and… what is that? *sees him jump on it* Oh it’s a surfboard… oooooh I can see where this is going. This is going to suck.
And we get a full view of the terrifying Pixel Demon! It’s… a green troll looking thing. That’s it? All that hype on your site and Facebook page for that? Bores, you are a connoisseur when it comes to disappointment.
IG goes into the TV (yep, saw it coming), flies through the stages with annoying close-ups of his growling face. He makes it to the Pixel Demon, it says it can’t be stopped, IG takes out a Bob-omb and kills it in one shot. Then he escapes with explosions around him, gets out of the TV, and… it’s over. What? That’s it? That was lame! Good lord. For someone that complains about shitty video game endings, you’re no better at it.
Oh but wait, there’s a stinger. The Pixel Demon survived and leaves the TV. I’m sorry, but is this thing supposed to be a threat? It did nothing! It showed up and IG hit it with a bomb. Bores, you have the lamest villains ever! You make the villains from Rainbow Brite look like a legitimate threat!

So that was… pain.
First the review part. The entire thing was “this is too hard blah blah blah” when it wasn’t making stupid claims about it being a Mega Man rip-off just because of the stage select or the misinformation on the controls. The same stuff we’ve heard from other people. Hell, one part was even lifted from that other guy. The one I heard just finished shooting a movie in LA.
Overall, as weak as uaual.

The story part was an utter joke. What’s sad is that the concept of the Pixel Demon has worked before, in countless Creepypasta tales. Read the Haunted Majora‘s Mask Cartridge, or Pokemon Lost Silver, or the NES Godzilla Creepypasta. All told a better story about a possessed cartridge than this! They had much more credible threats too, like that goddamn Elegy of Emptiness statue.
This only goes to show Bores utterly fails as a storyteller. The Pixel Demon sucks! If only he took all the time he spent on those effects and invested it in writing. And what was the point of the beginning part with ... Johnny Newscaster. Urgh.
Also, I'm very disappointed that you took up the role of the Genie. Sure the original was a terrible actor, but he was something different! It wasn't just you wearing a mask or a wig.

*lies back* So that’s that. What’s next? Well, E3 is next week. Bores is, sadly, confirmed to be going. I imagine his videos would go up a good week after the event ends. Until then everyone.

EDIT: blueluigi went through the Internet Archive and found this.
http://web.archive.org/web/20081007023041/http://www.theirategamer.com/reviews.htm
I remember hearing that he had announced reviews of Silver Surfer and Superman, but took them down rather quickly so I never got to see that. Thanks blueluigi
On Facebook, Bores told someone he'll eventually get to Superman after a few other things. Oh joy...
Also, the rip-off accusations have started flaring up on his page. Prompting Bores to say that the "Evil Gamer sent his cronies again" ... Don't blame the massive amount of criticism you get on a character you created. It only shows how massive your ego is, and that you refuse to listen to ANYONE but yourself and your mother.

By the way, does anyone know how I can get in touch with Brad Harp? I'm curious as to why he didn't reprise his role as the Genie.   

112 comments:

  1. "Pixel Demon" sounds pretty lame. "Evil Tails Doll" is more intimidating.

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    1. I thought it was going to be sort of cool, and then it was weak as shit and did nothing.

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    2. Wait, you actually expected something Bores did would be cool?

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  2. Oh great, he's now filling in Brad Harp's role as the genie? My god, the next thing you know, he'll be replacing Eric Allen's role as the Wise Sage.

    And speaking of Silver Surfer, I remember seeing a "Coming Soon" section on the Irate Gamer episode guide on his site back in 2008. The section featured two games. Silver Surfer and Superman 64. This was posted shortly after AVGN reviewed Superman 64. Obviously, it seems that both these reviews were scrapped in the process.

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    1. Here's the old webpage that I was referring to.

      http://web.archive.org/web/20081007023041/http://www.theirategamer.com/reviews.htm

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    2. Weren't Eric's Cameos in the last few episodes just stock footage? Cause if that's so, I fear Bores will indeed replace him someday...

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    3. It might be. Considering that the Wise Sage only had one short appearance with one line in Robocop 2 and 3, then it wouldn't surprise me.

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  3. He seriously mentioned Picasso? Bores don't feature artists you hack.

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  4. "And when did Mega Man have a “ghost world”?"

    Actually, at least Mega Man 7 has one - complete with a vampire robot master called "Shade Man" ^^ .

    So he introduced yet another horribly inefficient villain that doesn't actually do anything and gets defeated with little to no effort? If this keeps going, he could fill an entire sitcom with these losers Oo

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    1. Shade Man's stage also had the Ghouls N' Ghosts stage as an optional track if you select it with a different button while Shade Man's still alive! =D ...Just sayin'...

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  5. When I heard Chris was doing a Silver Surfer review I immediately thought of this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx_jYep1KKw

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  6. Actually, if I remember, there was a scrolling stage in Mega Man 4; it was one of the final stages.

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  7. This shit made Mass Effect 3's ending look credible. 'Pixel Demon' simply doesn't work, because 'pixel' sounds way too much like 'pixie'. It's unavoidable that people will immediately lose any interest in a demonic character with a name that has such strong accidental connotations of whimsy. Still, the character was always going to suck looking like that and doing nothing significant despite all the build.

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  8. Well I will admit that Bores has improved slightly. *Slightly*.

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  9. Honestly, it wasn't that bad by Bore's standards. Well the beginning was ok, but the rest just got worse.

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  10. The line "You know nothing of my work" originates from Annie Hall, but it is referenced a couple times in Family Guy (episodes "A Picture's Worth a Thousand Bucks" and "I Dream of Jesus" to be precise), so who knows where he lifted it from.

    As far as the video goes, the comedy bits weren't funny and the review said nothing that everybody else hadn't already said about the game. It showcases his talent for video editing - as much as his story arc is garbage, he makes a good visual presentation. But the video game review is still just shoehorned in. When you-know-who talks about future episodes, he mentions that he has a lot of potential games to do. Bores mentions shadow lords and pixel demons and, oh yeah, there's a game being talked about somewhere.

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  11. Those close-ups of him at the end growling almost made me vomit. Ugh.

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    1. Criticism is all well and good and while I'm not fond if Chris idk how insults help anything. But I agree the close ups... and the joke actually served no purpose.

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  12. Wow, I cannot believe how bad his storyline is. The first two episodes (in HD, so it's a new series according to Bores) were actually pretty good, the next two were okay, but this one was just awful. The storyline is making no sense and is absolute garbage. I think Bores should just scrap his storyline; video game reviews do not need storylines in order to be enjoyed or hyped up.
    As for the game review, I still prefer AVGN's review. Even though he didn't make it to the final boss, I think he did a better job and the review is more enjoyable to watch compared to Irategamer's review.
    Also, I'm excited for E3 next week. I can't wait to hear about the latest news on consoles, games, accessories (etc.) from Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony and all of the other major or third-party companies. I just wonder how soon Irategamer will post his videos on it and/or how bad they will be. Only time will tell.
    One more thing: Happy Memorial Day everyone!

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    1. So he's going to E3? Idk why this is such a big deal since apparently he's been in the past? Care to fill me in?

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  13. So I have to ask...

    Does anyone have ANY idea what happened between Chris Bores and Brad Harp to cement that Brad wouldn't be going anywhere near this stuff again?

    Did the two of them have a titanic argument of some sort?

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    1. It's Bores. It's not too hard to imagine him getting under someone's skin, especially after Stella's accounts.

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    2. I've not heard of Stella's account. Can anyone link or copypaste?

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    3. I think he's talking about me unless here's another Stella77 idk about. I know Chris growing up and stumbles across this blog. I made a lot of post a few blogs back. Idr which one.

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    4. Argh! Everyone please pardon the nasty spelling errors I'm still getting used to this iPhone and its auto correct.

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  14. More crap, more theft, more unsuccessful humor... in other words, we waited six months for the same old crap he's been spewing. Why am I not surprised? And now he gets to go to E3. Maybe they won't even let him in... well, I can hope. Great write-up, Bat Dan. You're the only good thing about Mr. Bores' "reviews".

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  15. Oh dear. Oh dearie, dearie dear.

    The best we can hope for about this video is that it will give some good material for parody videos.

    And they're actually letting Bores into E3 despite that response video to Ubisoft? Well, at least there will be some good news from the floor from other people who actually give a care about video games.

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  16. One thing that has ALWAYS irked me about reviews on Silver Surfer is that it has an absolutely fantastic soundtrack, even more so as its coming out of a NES.

    Tim Follin is one of the most overlooked gaming musicians in gaming history, so really deserves a hell of a lot more credit for his work than he has got.

    Just check out his work on Plok and Spider-man and the x-men arcades revenge on the SNES, Soltice on the NES and Agent X II on the C64, I've used a few of his tunes in my videos in the past, notably my Brink one.

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    1. I never much cared for Solstice, but you're right, the music kicked ass.

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    2. The Follin Brothers have their own page in the "Awesome Music" section of TVTropes. Really good stuff people linked there.

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    3. Pictionary, Silver Surfer, they made the music the best part of most LJN games.

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  17. Oi... you know, I'm willing to grant Bores that I actually enjoyed one or two points in this one... but they were then ruined. The "change to a different channel" joke was actually funny... until Bores angrily insisted we come back... when he was the one who said we could leave!

    Another was talking about the select button unleashing bombs. That seemed like a legitimate complaint for once on the design structure. The Picasso joke was lame, but didn't ruin it... what DID ruin it was someone commenting above here that the B button DID have a function and he was just talking out of his ass. Wonderful.

    I was slapping my forehead when he pulled out the Game Genie. Dude, you promised "We'll make it through to the end!" That implied you were going to do it WITHOUT resorting to cheating. THAT is an impressive feat. I give him credit at least for not using an invincibility code and just gave himself infinite lives. I admit, I've done that before on some older games (then again, I'm not a gamer like some individuals claim to be).

    It's amazing how lame the Pixel Demon truly was. You know, you don't NEED special effects or sprites or hell even a good look for a villain if you can capture mood, atmosphere, and properly set up a villain. In the same amount of time it took Bores to make this episode, I set up the Entity - showed how nigh-invincible it was, building up mythos around it, letting creepy music establish the mood, have characters plucked out with just a snap, and then the ending reveal? The most advanced effects with it were basic After Effects masking tools and static. The fans helped, too, just by letting them post creepy messages purportedly by the Entity - letting them speculate what was real and what wasn't - cryptic statements, creepy wordplay, other names and mythology based around this unstoppable horror. And even when I brought up a sillier part of the Entity's nature, the other horror elements more than made up for it so it was kind of irrelevant or just built up NEW terrors around it.

    The pixel demon is an 8-bit green thing that everyone is scared of for no reason that bounced out slowly, had a bomb dropped on it, and then somehow escaped the TV.

    ...SCARY.

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    1. Also, IG's actions didn't amount to anything except making explosions. Pixel Demon didn't even look hurt when he jumped out of the TV at the end. He should drop the storyline all together. It's too unfocused.

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    2. Honestly, I don't really like storylines in a review show, anyway. But in Bores's case, the reviews start to seem like a distraction from the story, instead of the other way around. He should give up reviewing and just focus on telling stories, and maybe he'll get better and funnier in the future.

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    3. Heck, even Telltales third season of Sam and Max managed to make their villian creepy. They hinted him through out the episodes as something to fear. They played him up with creepy music and explored his backstory to show how his powers spread and they played for most part of laughs! This is pathetic!

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    4. Oh gees, I hope you aren't the actual Linkara, because if you are, then you are just as terrible as Bores.

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    5. @ Linkara

      Linkara, have you seen this?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDP-5NY-wUg&feature=plcp

      Sorry if i upset anyone for reposting this, but i dont think linkara knew about this, i want to know his 5 cents.

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    6. @Unknown

      Yes, it is indeed me. If you don't like my storylines, fine, whatever. But I don't have to make up complaints about the stuff I review, and I do TRY to get my facts right and admit my mistakes. I try to be fair and I try to give an honest opinion.

      @Kiki
      People have told me about it. There's a thread in my forums on TGWTG on it. I honestly don't really care. They're entitled to their opinion.

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    7. Too be fair, seeing how limited the amount of buttons on a NES controller were, the developers didn't have much choice but to put either the bomb or the option on the select button.

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    8. Ah, Lewis, you're great. Hope you don't let that comment get you down.

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    9. You, Linkara, actually managed to give good buildup and made Lord Vyce and the Entity genuinely intimidating. I'm looking forward to seeing what you'll do with Will as this Gunman in the next arc. If this Pixel Demon and its resolution don't define "ass pull," nothing does. I'm not sure what other people think, but your stories have me coming back every week. Especially when your reviews are a 15-50 minute thing every week as opposed to less than the 15-minute YouTube cutoff every few months.

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    10. The change the channel gag was done better by Alton Brown in his cooking show Good Eats.

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    11. @Lewis Lovhaug

      Do you do reviews as well or something of that sort on youtube? Not so familiar with the game reviewer crowd.

      But I totally agree with you Lewis. He actually had a couple good joke ideas this time if he had just left them alone. It seems he sees every joke as a horse that must be killed then beaten senseless. Although to his credit he didn't do the same joke 3+ times like in one video I saw.

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    12. Lewis, better known by Linkara, does comic book reviews for Blip, and are then hosted on ThatGuyWithTheGlasses and his own blog.

      Delete
  18. Good gourd, THIS is the payoff for all that Pixel Demon nonsense? AVGN's bit about Mario 3 being possessed by Satan was better thought out than this garbage! And that was just a one-off joke, not a major storyline!

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  19. "Pixel Demon", Huh? You know, that demon from AVGN's Super Mario Bros 3 review was legitimate Nightmare Fuel. If this so-called "Pixel Demon" was pitted against him, Lil Pixie would shriek like a little girl and explode! And of course, Super Mecha Death Christ takes out the Devil and cleans up Lil Pixie's remains. With kerosene. HOLY Kerosene.

    And yes, "Lil Pixie" is my pet name for this so-called "Pixel Demon".

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    1. "HOLY Kerosene." Is there any other kind? :D

      Excellent recap as always, BatDan, and FUCK, Silver Surfer, really? I played the game and aside from being UNGODLY hard it's not a terrible game by any means.

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  20. So basically this didn't progress his "storyline" in any way?

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  21. It is obvious that he's seen the AVGNs Silver Surfer video, as he uses several lines of it in his Aladdin review, most notably the volcano flying carpet chase part.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I don't want to stand up for Bores, but the Pixel Devil explanation does remind me a bit of "Just Set up the Chairs" on Regular Show, at least in concept (not in execution, of course).

    ReplyDelete
  23. Long time visitor, first time posting.

    First of all, kudos to BatDan, you're doing a great job! :D

    Now, for something that I've been wondering... I kind of think Bores is going to give up on the whole Irate Gamer thing this year or next. By the way he's losing subscribers and the way his hits are going down, I feel his Youtube paycheck must be shrinking quite a bit. How long will he hold onto this?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. Bores' views fail to reflect his subscriber count, yet ultimately, I don't think he gives a shit. As long as he's making money essentially doing nothing, he will always be happy.

      Delete
  24. Wow, so I sent the Irate Gamer a message offering some constructive criticism. Basically I said Pixel Demon was a joke and he should spend less time on effects and more time on writing. Anyways, he actually message me back.

    "point taken" was all he said. I wonder if he improves it will be because of me. Joking, but I do hope he tries a little harder on his storytelling rather than spending half a year making explosions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't count on it. Most of the time he just sends short messages like that, like "awesome" or "sounds cool". Giving the impression he hasn't really read the PM.

      Delete
    2. "Your letter has been read fully, and your thoughts have been inputed and accepted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts."

      Delete
    3. chances are you're already blocked.

      Delete
    4. I thought about PM-ing him links to the parody videos I made, but after that whole shitstorm where he tried to "own" someone who criticized him, I concluded that contacting him on my own is not worth the effort and this blog is a better place to talk about him.

      Delete
    5. I remember when I PM'ed him about not going to E3 this year because they supported SOPA. All he said was "OK." I get the feeling that he skims his PM's, and if he doesn't find something that criticizes him, he doesn't think it's worth more than a two-word response.

      Delete
  25. Well, Bores posted on his Facebook giving a brief explaination as to why he played the genie. It's because Brad Harp moved out of town for work, and Bores found it easier to play the part himself.

    Though what does kind of bother me is the fan who commented after that. "You're like a live-action Mel Blanc." Please... Bores is not anywhere near as talented as Mel Blanc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I see. Still, it goes to show how lazy his "universe" is when he plays every single character.
      And if the Genie can *sigh* regenerate, why did it change into Chris Bores? If he wants to make his series "professional", he needs to get more people.

      ... Mel Blanc? Is he kidding? Blanc was a master, Bores can barely do voices without his Southern accent slipping in. Especially in the "Ronnie the Skeleton sings Deck the Halls" video, he barely even bothered with the accent.

      Delete
    2. To be fair, BatDan, there are a lot of reasons why reviewers will just play all the parts on their own. Yes, they may have friends, but they may be unwilling to be in their videos or simply that they're not terribly good actors. Another big reason is GETTING the people. My friend Will, who has been playing Snowflame, has his own life that has nothing to do with video production on the web. He's my friend, yes, but oftentimes he has HIS own friends that he's hanging with or just wants to not have to worry about putting on makeup after a long day at work. He loves doing it, sure, but he has his schedule, and the same can be said for any of us.

      Except for Brad Jones, of course, who is the friendliest human being on earth and can always rely upon about a dozen people coming to his aide when he requires other actors. XD

      That being said, Bores is no Mel Blanc. I don't think any of us are, but certainly not him.

      Delete
    3. Yeah, I know it's not easy to get other people. Real life and all.
      Still, with Bores bragging the way he does, one would think he'd get other people to do minor things like "Panicked Citizen Running".

      Delete
    4. Sad fact is Chris can't even get somebody to be a hand passing him something. I can't remember what review it was (he was the evil gamer dressed as a delivery person I think?) but you can clearly see Bores hit himself pretending it was a "from off camera" slap

      Delete
    5. Also, while you (Lewis) make videos weekly and have a schedule that others might find hard to fit into, Bores can take more than half a year between videos, which one would think might give him ample time to schedule a recording session with someone else. And as for finding people who can act, bear in mind that this is "acting" by IG's standards. Sure, Brad Harp was kind of lame, but he was a different brand of lame. It's sort of like when you've been eating the same brand of instant ramen for forever and then you try a different brand which, while objectively not great, seems amazing if only for being a change of pace.

      Delete
    6. @Clark
      I think it was him ripping off EG's fake mustache.

      Delete
    7. Thanks lordlaharl that was bugging me :)

      Its hard to remember when 90% of his interactions are with himself at a door.

      Delete
  26. You know, looking back I have to realize that his "fight scenes" have actually gotten worse, at least in terms of actual combat and dramatic tension. Predator, R.O.B., HAL, and even the stupid CGI snake all actually presented some level of threat to the supposed "hero". Ever since he went HD, all we've seen is an army of robots that was defeated by a crappy NES peripheral without even putting up a fight and a poorly drawn game sprite who, despite supposedly being powerful and threatening, was defeated by a single bob-omb! I'm sure in Bores' head this makes him look like a badass, but it just makes his opponents look lame!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ever since he proclaimed himself as a "kung fu expert" I've been hoping he'd do more fight scenes. I'm nowhere near an "expert" but I can definitely spot someone who doesn't even understand the fundamentals of kung fu.

      Delete
  27. I don't know if you noticed or not, but when he's putting his patented circles of obviousness on the NES Advantage, he's actually circling the dials above the turbo buttons that control the speed of the turbo while calling them the turbo buttons. I guess when you use an emulator for everything you don't need to ever actually try pressing the buttons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure you do! That unplugged NES Advantage isn't going to "Winter Game" itself!

      Delete
    2. He DOES abuse that poor thing, grabbing it by the joystick and then throwing it because he's bad at the game. But Gosh-Damnit, he doesn't press the turbo buttons for some reason. He DOES, however, press both of the big red buttons, which is weird when he says earlier that the B button doesn't do anything.

      Also, I'm so not used to blogger. That post above is mine, and while I set my name on my profile, it didn't put my name up there.

      Delete
  28. Just noticed something: For a creature called "Pixel Demon" it sure has a very smooth head Oo

    ReplyDelete
  29. So I read Bat Dan's edit on the article... man, this guy really does just live in his own little world, doesn't he?

    "People telling me I'm not so great? No, that's impossible! I'm awesome! Clearly this is the evil doing of a character I made up myself! Obviously! No REAL person would call me out on my crap!"

    I actually kind of feel sorry for this guy. Looking forward to his downfall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he needs that bit of delusion for the times he wakes up, thinking to himself: "What the f*ck am I doing?"

      Man, now I feel depressed Oo

      Delete
  30. what is really sad is that bores continues to do the irate gamer show not for money, but just because he wants to feel important.

    he is a good editor, he should just edit other people work

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be honest I can see Bores being really successful as an editor. I hope when the Irate Gamer crashes and burns he realizes this and gets a career in editing. He can start of small by editing other peoples videos and perhaps someday move on to feature films.

      Delete
    2. I hear ya on the editing part. That's one of the things that I do think Bores has improved greatly over the years. I mentioned in the blog post on Guru Larry that he's definitely gotten better at green screen... and the effects to the ending battle with the Pixel Demon actually looked pretty good... even if it did seem like a pretty bad Creepypasta.

      Delete
    3. His editing is his best (only good) skill, but still way underdeveloped. He relies too much or stock effects and doesn't experiment enough.

      That's another reason he should edit other people's work instead of his own. Other people will come up with things he didn't plan and he'll have to innovate and progress in his skills, rather than coast by on the bare minimum of whats acceptable.

      Delete
    4. That's what I think. If he could get over that ego of his and do work for someone else, I think he could really broaden his horizons by working with ideas other than the ones he comes up with/poorly cobbles together from other people.

      Delete
    5. While he does have improved greatly in the editing department, we don't know how efficient he works. His editing could be a major reason why his videos take so damn long - though this could also be because he uses way too much effects. Who knows...

      Delete
    6. And considering how he currently edits in Adobe Premiere (and possibly After Effects), then I could see how the rendering and exporting for the video could take a while.

      Delete
    7. I noticed a comment on the video on how his effects are amazing and.. I just don't see it. They look okay at best. In my opinion they are pretty sloppy. I'm pretty sure he uses after effects. But for a video that mediocre 7 months? That is blizzard entertainment level of inefficient use of time and resources.

      Delete
  31. You know I was looks back at Bores' geocities page for his book and I noticed he had a ton of grammatical and spelling errors just on the first page. He couldn't even spell compassion nor does he use an apostrophe correctly. There's a ton of errors,like capitalizing a word after a comma.

    He even has an error in the very first sentence, "almost nearing completion" which is like saying close to being close to being done. No wonder his book got rejected, he has absolutely no command over the English language.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was actually going to vanity publish. The only possible reasons the book doesn't exist are:
      -He realized it was crap
      -He was broke as hell
      -He didn't even finish it.

      Delete
    2. Or someone else told him it was crap and they wouldn't publish it. His writing was pretty bad.

      Delete
    3. Vanity publishers do not reject anything. Although someone else might have convinced him it was bad, it certainly wouldn't have been the publisher.

      Delete
  32. Anyone here watching the game between Brazil and the USA right now?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Wow...just wow...never had I seen a review this disappointing and terrible. One joke didn't make sense (Bores, you allowed us to change the channel but now you want us back? WTH?), the return of the Genie is a HUGE disappointment, IG once again proves himself to be a huge Mary-sue (We never see him train and he already nows how to use the sword and use the Inferno force?!) and the final battle with the Pixel Demon is SOOOOO anti-climatic. Never had I seen a final battle this disappointing since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. *Sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  34. Unrelated: For fans of classic PC adventure games, there's a kickstarter page for a new "Tex Murphy" game (sequel to "Under a Killing Moon").

    http://www.texmurphy.com/

    ReplyDelete
  35. Say what you want about Spoony, at least he has had personal and health reasons for a drop in production last year. The guy has suffered from a heart condition, clinical depression and a stomach virus in the last two years.

    Also, he is more or less done with a storyline. One reason Linkara's one works (at least, for me) is that it's weekly. I only started watching it on a regular basis around the time of his first abduction by Lord Vyce, but it's grown on me ever since. I enjoyed all the story arcs I've seen since then so far, and I'm looking forward to the rest of this current one with the Gunslinger.

    Bores on the other hand? Well, I only saw a few videos from him, and I didn't like them. Most of my knowledge comes from this blog, and various video riffs like DLAbaoaqu's channel. But most of the time, if I don't like a series, I don't watch it.

    The only reason one should watch stuff that they know is crap is if they're planning to give an informed and legitimate criticism and explain what works and what doesn't work, or make jokes about it, as opposed to repeatedly going "This sucks", over and over.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Ironically, his Mega Man joke is actually one that AVGN made in his Silver Surfer video, so he's still ripping off jokes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, I would have accepted it if he had just brought up that the character select screen was similar to Mega Man, since it seems like a pretty obvious comparison. It only became painful when he tried to extend the joke to the game as a whole being a Mega Man ripoff.

      Delete
  37. What did I just see? Oh Chris. Why do you make this stuff? And from what I read hype it up? I too (I guess being new to these videos) expected something a little more... impressive... from the whole pixel demon thing. But I could make that sprite in about a minute in paint. I was expecting something like in vectorman for the Sega Genesis (anyone know what I'm talking about? ) I vaguely remember these evil faces or maybe it was a boss and only one.. but it was this evil face that came out from the black background and holy crap that almost gave me nightmares! But the green... idk what. Yeah that was a let down. And did I miss episodes between the robocop series, the He man episode and this one? It went grimace sword to a force to a surf board? Help me! I'm confused!!!

    Sorry for writing a book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh and I meant vectorman 2. It was scene 17 I believe.

      Delete
    2. Yup, you've got it right. Not too scary now, but when I played it as a young lad? Yeah, it's pretty spooky.

      Delete
    3. Found a video of it. true enough but heck even that today is leagues more intimidating than that green pixelated mess that looks like it came from a crappy 3rd rate RPG on a gameboy.

      Delete
  38. How can a man be so ignorant as Bores? I'll never know.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Wow. The pixel demon part was really anticlimactic. As soon as I saw that I thought "Really Bores? That's the best you could come up with?". He needs to realize that he isn't a great writer, and that it's okay to ask for help from other people.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I think I found another Bores sockpuppet channel

    http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQ6VY5mdmhcxXLwnRaW0nHw

    Notice how nothing is on the channel at all

    He replied to a bores hate with this:

    "that shit is hella old GTFO"

    sounds like something he would say

    ReplyDelete
  41. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRdmasRHnXw

    Enjoy...

    ReplyDelete
  42. "When do you scroll in Mega Man?"

    In Mega Man 2 right before fighting the Mecha Dragon?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Pixel Demon = G;itch Gremlin ripoff. Surprised you didn't pick up on this, Dan.

    ReplyDelete
  44. It did suck.
    I heard that Brad Harp didn't appear because he moved away.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I hate the people who claimed this review was better than AVGN's just because he showed the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Especially considering he DIDN"T show the end, he cut the video off for that "Pixel Demon" bullshit.

      Delete
    2. LordKat would laugh at that premise.

      To top it off Bores only won by cheating which kind of destroys the credibility of the statement.

      Delete
  46. Joke reaction: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kigKSjdKOZ4/TcpbbMIyGII/AAAAAAAAEUI/o95LY9dgXn8/s400/11Facepalm.png
    Sidenote: It was like hearing "Avatar state yip-yip!"

    ReplyDelete
  47. Are you looking for free Twitter Followers?
    Did you know you can get these AUTOMATICALLY AND ABSOLUTELY FREE by using Like 4 Like?

    ReplyDelete