Guru Larry Presents "Six Ways the Irate Gamer Can Improve"

And now for something completely different. Larry Bundy Jr (Guru Larry) has been creating reviews for years. Even back on a short-lived UK television channel. He's been in touch with countless other reviewers. Including the Irate Gamer. While he is friendly with him, he knows he has a massive number of problems.

Larry asked if he could an article showcasing things IG can do to improve his image. I said "sure".
Here is is, Guru Larry's Six Ways the Irate Gamer Can Improve. To differentiate from me, his article will be in blue text.

It’s amazing how quickly five years can pass on the web, we’ve seen eCelebs rise and fall,  get their own TV shows and movies,  even spew out official merchandise from faceless corporations.

…And yet, in all these years, Chris has not changed in the slightest, aside from producing less and less content as time goes on.

So you’re obviously asking yourself.  Do I hate the Irate Gamer?  And the answer is a strong, resounding No.  Absolutely not...  Since he entered our lives that warm April day of 2007, I can safely say that pound for pound I’ve found Chris far more entertaining than anything the James Rolfe has ever produced,  more than a lot of “angry reviewers”.

I’ve spoken to Chris many many times over the years and he’s always been extremely polite, pleasant and friendly to me.   And I always ignored internal politics, (Aside from Wez, I was the only member of ScrewAttack not giving him shit over the whole AVGN ordeal and would openly talk with him) and the opinions of others.

I do honestly like Chris and I want him to succeed!

So as we pass the fifth anniversary of his YouTube channel and his unexpected rise into power,  one can’t help thinking if he were start over again this year,  what pitfalls could Chris have avoided to become a stronger, more popular and ultimately more respected eCeleb in the community and more so,  what lessons have we learned that could still bring him to this level?
(Then again if he started this year, he’d probably be doing frickin’ zero effort Minecraft Let’s Plays)

So, without further ado,  I give you my six ways the Irate Gamer can improve…

1. Research Your Subject!
I’ll start with the obvious (and paramount) area first of all…

The information you write into your video sucks,   I’m sorry, but it’s true!  No matter how much you bury your head in the sand and deny it, or accuse people of being stupid/trolls for contradicting you, the lack of factual information in your videos was, and always is your biggest downfall.  Your level of accuracy borders on parody.   It’s long since replaced your stigma of being an “AVGN rip off”.
I mean, if the father of video games, Ralph Baer, himself calls you an idiot for your lacklustre research, you know…  It may be a hint to actually do some!!!

So, how can you improve?  Simple, just research as much as you possibly can before putting pen to paper,  erm, finger to keyboard.  You are a “journalist” after all!   Don’t just half ass information into scripts and then fill in the blanks with your imagination, like you currently do.
As Sherlock Holmes once said: “It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit fact”

Also, Wikipedia is not your enemy Chris, whilst some may scoff at its information, a lot of it IS notable and backed up with credible references to various official websites, books,  newspaper/magazine articles or videos Etc. if you require further proof. This is where the art of cross-referencing comes to play!  I.E. lots of research.
And even after that, you’re still adamant of avoiding Wikipedia,  there’s always Moby Games (the IMDB of video games),  GamesPress, a trade site with information supplied by the publishers themselves and excellently resourced retro game sites such as Hardcore Gaming 101.
There’s a whole world of sourcable information out there on the interwebs Chris, you just need to put the effort in to find it!

2.  Stop Ostracising Yourself

This seems to be an area only I’ve really noticed over the years, but it has always been a major issue.
Chris has always ostracised himself from the video gaming community and YouTube in general.  He’s never once involved himself in forums, discussions, livestreams Etc.   He’s never once even made a Q&A to engage with his fans.
And aside from that Robocop review with Nick Huggett (SWAG) (which he then re-made MINUS Swag) he’s never once had a cross-over or cameo in a video. And that feels incredibly alien coming from someone who works on TGWTG ;D
 “What The Buck” doesn’t count,  (This plays with your irrelevancy you constantly pander to which I’ll go into later) What on earth made you think it would be a good idea to have a cameo from him?  He has as much gaming appeal to your audience as you do to fans of effeminate males who make bitchy remarks about third rate Hollywood celebrities.

A cross over video with another member of the online gaming community would give untold benefit to your reputation AND give you a new audience, far more stable than running competitions ever will (which I’ll also go into later).  Not everyone out there hates you Chris, and I know some would love to help you out.  Just don’t forget to credit them!
Of course, one might say he’s just alienated because of the vindication from the gaming community and twats on the radio, but if you’re not prepared to bite the bullet and speak to others, then nothing is ever going to change.

3.  Be Consistent with New Content…

Consistency is a MAJOR factor for any “eCeleb” on the internet, no matter what their subject/genre.  A fanbase enjoys  a routine where they can regularly check out their favourite show on a particular day of the week/month.   Being sporadic with videos, uploading when you feel like, will only stagnate your subscribers at best, lose them at the worst.   Look at what may be considered some of the more popular eCelebs, such as the Nostalgia Critic or Yahtzee,  they release new shows on a weekly basis, and the AVGN would (until recently) publish monthly.

It is understandable that some videos may take longer than a week for you to produce, so the way around that is to stockpile a bunch of videos and then release them as seasons,  kind of like how TV shows work. (also how story arcs are supposed to work).
You need to remember this isn’t 2007 anymore.  There is an infinitely larger amount of competition for your subscribers out there now and if you’re not prepared to put the effort in to provide sustainable content for them, someone else is more than willing to.

4.  Set in Stone Who your Target Audience Is...

You seem highly self-contradicting on who you want your videos to appeal to Chris,  you want to appeal to a younger/family audience by removing all swearing, and in the next video you’re “Effing” and “Blinding” again, instantly driving away that new audience you built.  So decide who you want the show for once and for all.  Again, it’s consistency.
Also choosing an age demographic isn’t solely about the language you use in a video,  but also in regards to chrono-cultural references.   Chances are the majority of the kids watching your show have no idea who the Hell Steve Urkel is as they weren’t alive in the 90’s,  (Hell,  even I didn’t know until recently and my only reference was “he did the original voice of Sonic” – But that’s regional cultural, rather than age).  So stick to references that people you’re targeting will know, instantly making the joke understandable and in-turn “funny”.

Also stop with the “random access humor” as Chris chan would put it.  If you’re going to include a joke, make it relevant to the subject.   For instance, How the fuck is randomly placing Hamburgular into the Robocop 2 review supposed to be funny???  Saying or adding something completely unrelated isn’t humorous, it just makes you look like a ‘tard.
Rubber Monkey Tuesday Cheesecake.    Was that funny then?  No.  So don’t.

5. Stop with the Competitions!!!

Seriously stop with the constant competitions!
Creating competitions as an enticement for new subscribers (which require a subscription as part of the qualification to enter) is ultimately a fruitless endeavour for ANY channel, because as soon as the competition is over, a huge chunk will un-subscribe from you.
On top of that, your competitions are so common and expectant, Most of your video comments consist of “PICK ME” regardless of the context,  and the actual “proper” shows that you want people to watch have terrible views because of so.
TL;DR The majority of your viewers are fickle fuckers whom only sub to you in hope of free stuff. 

It could also be a possible reason for your sudden loss of subs recently too, you were offering PS3s and iPods in the early days, impressive prizes.  But now you’re essentially offering junk in comparison, (home burnt DVDs and Mouse Pads (Mats)), which aren’t even worth the effort of typing in “PICK ME” to, so they’ll un-sub.
…And that’s for the people who AREN’T aware Mommy picks only the most loyal of fans to be bestowed your redundant homemade merchandise, making the competitions pointless to enter in the first place (a competition is derived from either luck or skill – NEVER loyalty, Loyalty is a Reward scheme).  So unless it’s a one off with a prize of a decent monetary value AND you’ll judge fairly and without prejudice.   Then stop.

6. Take Advantage of your Successes

Finally, this sort of relates to you again and your ineptitude of engaging your audience, but you really need to brand yourself better.
For starters,  you ARE the Irate Gamer,  so foremost you should prioritise and make Irate Gamer episodes above all else.  I Rate the 80’s,   History of Video Games, Haunted Investegations and Irate Gamer Neo are fun little excursions, but they shouldn’t be made in a way that will sacrifice production of your flagship show.
Your cast of characters also need to be streamlined, though you’ve managed to do that practically with The Wise Sage and Scottie due to your excellent ability of retaining friendships,  but characters like Wilson (or whatever you call him this week), Goro, Kool Aid Man, ROB the robot Etc (aside from you not owning the rights to them) should be one off characters,  not regulars. 

The Evil Gamer is crap, it’s just a slightly more energetic version of you in a wig. No personality,  He is hardly a villain when the Irate Gamer comes across as a bigger dick than him.
Shadow Overlord is also stupid, it’s obvious that the character had very little effort involved to any actual character design as it’s blatantly just you in silhouette doing a shit Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.  The “story ark” has been going on for so long because of your sporadic episodes, I couldn’t care less whom he reveals himself to be.   But I doubt we’ll ever see that as you’ve painted yourself into a corner with him.
And Tony Lawler, who looks like they were once just a “chibi” version of you, is just a one dimensional character (no pun intended) who is totally unlikeable do to only ever being able to show one emotion, aggression.  Again, he should have just been a one off character for your M.U.S.C.L.E. review.

Your best characters in my opinion are Ronnie the Skeleton, Cousin Joey and to a lesser extent Satan,  who really should be the antagonist of the show (rather than the Evil Gamer, Shadow Overlord or that Odyssey in a gimp suit)  and not your only friend who takes you out drinking as he’s evolved himself to be.
Finally, Your “catchphrase”  “…Game On” isn’t catchy and ultimately nonsensical, whereas one line you said catapulted you to Meme status (Bores and Doors) but never capitalised on the line every picked up on  “…Ya Thuink?”  Possibly because of my case in the second point,  you never engage your audience.

Conclusion
So that’s my list of six ways Chris could improve himself.  I highly doubt he’ll ever read this article and given the slim chance that he does, he’ll most likely be so set in his ways, he’ll assume I’m completely wrong and everything he does is the pinnacle of perfection.  
But if my advice has landed on deaf ears, as least take this into account Chris… having a large fanbase is a privilege, not a right.  YouTube gave you one hell of a foot in the door when they promoted you back in ’07 (if they had given that same gift to the likes of Armake21, UrinatingTree, Eebeto, Jedite1 or PlayItBogart who knows? they could have a million plus subs today instead of sadly fading into obscurity)   please don’t squander it any more than you have done.

If this was a video,  I’d end it with Hall and Oates,  “You’re Out of Touch” as the closing theme :D

Thank you very much Larry. You can see more of Guru Larry at TGWTG/Blistered Thumbs and his YouTube channel here. http://www.youtube.com/Larry
Hopefully Chris will listen to someone who isn't constantly saying "everything you know is wrong".

So where has Bores been? According to my Facebook informant, he was sick... again. People are getting suspicious that he's faking it to get out of making videos. I won't agree or disagree with this accusation.