Thursday, October 25, 2012

Fan Art The Third: This Time It's Rearranged

I have just been informed that Chris has updated the Irate Gamer Fan Art page. I don’t know when it happened as he hasn’t updated the site news since the release of the X-Men review.

I’d like to remind you I am not making fun of the fan art creators (unless it‘s Karbia and his fucked-up fan-fiction), I am making fun of Bores for CHOOSING to put these “masterpieces” on his site.

Part 1:
Part 2:

Some things have been arranged so I’ll bring that up.

Page 1:

Picture #6: I think it’s supposed to be sprite art, but I’m not entirely sure. In the foreground is IG and Evil Gamer facing against each other, I can’t tell if EG is smiling or growling. In the background is Devil Bores and Lead HAL-Bot looking over the earth. Strange that Devil Bores is portrayed as the main villain when he’s been relegated to comic relief

Picture #8 is now that “Irate Gamer and Friends” MS Paint thing mentioned in Part 2 (Picture #44)

Page 3:

Picture #44 is now DatBoiDrew’s picture that was originally on the first fan art page (just more proof that Bores has burned that bridge with Drew). I’m sorry Drew, your hard work has been swapped with a shitty MS Paint picture that abused the circle tool.

Page 4:

Picture #48: A Yu-Gi-Oh card, I think it might be an old one that was removed in the last update. Labeled on top as “Chris Bores and R.O.B.”, and “Irate Gamer and Piece of Shit” in the body text. The card has infinite attack and defense points (*rolls eyes* stupid) and the move description is his “diarrhea dickwaffles” rant from the R.O.B. video. Not sure how that’s supposed to work.

Picture #49: Coming to us from (that’s what it says on the picture), we have… deformity. A blonde Bores holding some boxy controller with a t-shirt that says “Irate” on it. His expressions looks like discomfort. Freaky.

Picture #50: I’m now going to ruin Mega Man for you, if Capcom hasn’t already done that. It’s the Robot Master selection screen with everyone replaced by IG characters. In the center is IG himself (of course) surrounded by (from the top left) Evil Gamer, Generic Overload, lead HAL-Bot, Tony (in his Maplestory form), Ronnie, Wise Sage, Devil Bores, and R.O.B. Suddenly Mega Man X7 seems like a good time.

Picture #51: We get a sketch with a familiar art style. It reminds me a bit of Peter Bagge’s work, but I could be wrong. Honestly, not too bad.

Picture #52: This on the other hand, total photoshop failure. It’s another image of the Irate Gamer as a zombie. Oh but he’s now the “Irate Zombeh”. Wow that’s lame.

Picture #53: Now I’m going to ruin Inspector Gadget for you, just like Inspector Hambone ruined it for Ghost. It’s IG as the bumbling robot detective, with the hand that comes out of his hat holding a copy of the SNES game (which is real, unlike Dr. Claw’s Dump n’ Pump… seriously what was up with that joke?) In the top left is the “Irate Gamer” logo with an upside down IG just like the show’s logo. Bottom left is the Gadget-mobile. Top right is Dr. Claw’s arm through a port hole (and no I’m not making fun of Bores’ pronunciation, that really does look like a port hole) and in the bottom left is… I think that’s Penny if she grew up and gained a lot of weight, and Brain if he was a real dog. They’re all in front of fire (because that’s not cliché at this point). Very bizarre picture.

Picture #54: A variation of the “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster, with the crown replaced by a very low-res picture of IG and the phrase saying “Keep Calm and Game On”. Congrats Bores, a fan was dumb enough to accept that as your catchphrase.

Picture #55: Wow, and I thought Karbia’s work made no sense. It’s a “photoshop” of the poster for the Dwayne Johnson film The Tooth Fairy. Only it’s now “The Irate” and Dwayne’s head has been replaced with a very bug-eyed derp-faced Bores. You couldn’t find a better picture? Also, how do you connect the Irate Gamer to… Dwayne Johnson’s The Tooth Fairy? If you wanted to make Bores like The Rock, why not photoshop one of his wrestling promo photos, or images from The Scorpion King, or The Rundown, Walking Tall, Faster, hell anything besides the paycheck earning kid crap!

Picture #56: Our last new one, surprisingly it’s NOT fan art of the Irate Gamer. Instead it’s the Pixel Demon. Someone out there actually liked the Pixel Demon enough to make fan art, let that sink in for a minute. However, this could be from a hater that found IG’s Pixel Demon incredibly dumb and made his own to show what a REAL demon looks like. Or this could be how IG sees the Pixel Demon in his head when the rest of the world sees that stupid frog thing that’s not even made out of pixels. Jeez, that was so bad. I can’t believe he expect people to take that as a threat.

Honestly, this batch of fan art wasn’t too horrid. It wasn’t like last time with 2600theCharlie’s dreadful Irate Gamer comic book or Johnny Awesome’s eye-pain, or that MS Paint picture that Bores thinks is better than what DatBoiDrew made.

You think Bores is going to make something new anytime soon? That’s of actual substance and isn’t another god damn Skylanders unboxing video? It will probably be Skylanders Giants (the game)… I hope I’m wrong.

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Irate Gamer Drinking Game

Through the five years the Irate Gamer has done videos, he tends to repeat a lot of things or have certain patterns. So much so that one can create a drinking game based on his videos. That’s what I’m going to do today.

You can choose to sip or take a shot. Due to the frequency of some parts, sips are recommended.
Don’t take a drink when he steals from somebody, that will just open up a can of worms.
EDIT: To avoid possible death, choose only 5-6 of these rules at a time. Don't attempt all of them.
EDIT 2: Non-alcoholic drinks are allowed as well. Extend it to 7-8 of these rules for non-alcoholic beverages.

Take a drink when…

- Game Genie or other cheat device is used (take another if he admits it)
- The Rule of Three is implemented
- His dialogue becomes redundant
- He points out the blatantly obvious
- He uses a green circle (sometimes in conjunction with the above)
- Something explodes
- He stares at the camera after a joke (thanks to DLAbaoqu for thinking this one up)
- He mispronounces or misspells something
- He brings up going to E3
- He’s incapable of understanding a console’s limitations
- He makes a comment about food (reviews related to food items don’t count)
- He fails at research
- He reins in his cursing (“BS”, “Gosh damn it”)
- He doesn’t beat a modern game (take another if he admits to it)
- He says “If you’re a fan of X, then you’ll like this one” or something similar to that.
- He plays bad or dies on purpose
- He complains about the difficulty
- One of his “original” recurring characters appears (Ronnie, Devil Bores, Wise Sage, Tony, Evil Gamer, and Cousin Joey)
- A non-original character enters his room (Megatron, Goro, Madballs, Skeletor, X-Men)
- Sprites from the game appear next to him or just appear in general
- He portrays more than three characters on screen
- Does an out of place joke that doesn’t make sense (Examples: Steve Urkel in Mission Impossible, The Wicker Man in Hell, Picasso showing up)
- Does a perverted sex joke
- Toilet humor occurs (and despite his mom’s objections, he uses toilet humor a lot)

Man that’s a lot. I once again recommend sipping for common occurrences, and please drink responsibly. You must be of legal drinking age in order to play. Be careful.

Before I go, I should mention he posted a new video. Another damn video on Skylanders, this time an unboxing of some of the new Series 2 Giants. It was boring and pointless, and his obsession with Skylanders is really getting annoying.

See you next time.

Friday, October 5, 2012

The Mutant Power of Creating Inhumanely Awful Sketches

Well what do you know, a second regular Irate Gamer episode for 2012. It’s only been about 4-5 months since the last one, I guess that’s somehow an improvement. At the rate he’s going, George R.R. Martin will have released the final two A Song of Ice and Fire books by the time he’s done.

So he’ll be reviewing X-Men. If it’s just the NES game, then at least he’s talking about an actual bad game. He also seems to be doing a theme of games based on Marvel Superheroes going by his last review of Silver Surfer. This would work if he did weekly or bi-weekly videos. But he doesn’t. He shouldn’t try themes at his output rate.
One thing Chris did before the review’s release was boast about how he was playing FIFTEEN characters. For the sake of this recap, I’m going to count each one.

The video is also over 10 minutes long. Brace yourselves, it’s going to be a long one.

0:00 - 0:30: Our video begins at Stock Footage University, I mean the Castle of Evil with the Evil Gamer reporting to Ultra-Generic Shadow Villain. It should be noted this his first appearance in nearly two years. What a great villain! Their “master plan” is ready and… cue theme. Wow, that was quick. No complaints here.

Characters: 2

0:35 - 0:54: We cut to IG’s house where we see sprites of a Koopa Troopa and the Albatross from Mario 2 . The point? Just another attempt to convince people he’s a gamer, that and DISTRACTING EFFECTS WOOO.
As a continuation from last time, he takes his copy of Silver Surfer, and throws it so hard that it defies physics and makes it outside to hit Not-Wilson. Hmm, hitting Not-Wilson with a game, is this his attempt at an on-going running gag? Because it’s not really that funny.

Characters: 4 (yes I’m including IG as a character)

He notes that since he’s on a comics kick, he decides to check out X-Men on the NES. Like I said above, that idea only works when you make videos on a much more consistent basis. Not when you take months at a time to make just one.

0:55 - 2:11: “Along with being one of my favorite comic books, X-Men finally comes to life on the NES” Finally? This game is 23 years old! How is it “finally” on a… never mind.
He notes that there are five stages (technically four as one is obviously a tutorial level, it’s even called “Practice”) and decides to do one of the main ones. He points that you can play as one of six X-Men. Leading to… oh God.
We then cut to a roll-call with Bores playing each member as they were portrayed in the movies (black leather costumes). Using green screen effects to color his skin for Nightcrawler, Colossus (looking nothing like him) and Iceman. Shockingly, he also dresses as Storm. I say that since I had a realization that he’s never played a female character, like in that panicked city scene in RoboCop or the Colorforms video where he only dressed as Harry Kislevitz but not Patricia. Granted, all he does with Storm is put on a white wig. There’s also some crickets chirping for some reason and “she” says “to hell with you all”. I don’t get it, is that supposed to show people’s stunned silence or disappointment? Or does Bores just think Storm is a lame character? Well, I remember he called Storm a bad character in his review of MvC3, only showing how much of a non-fan he was of that game. Maybe there’s something else involved.
By the way, that’s a really lame Colossus impression. THIS is how you do a Colossus yell:

Characters: 10

He notes how each X-Men has a special skill, then he gets to Wolverine and notes how his is a weak punch that kills him easily. He calls him a pushover, causing Bores-verine to appear and say “I resemble that remark”. IG then, no joke, swats him away past the other four male X-Men. As in flying across the room. It’s also a really poor effect since both characters are played by Bores. Swatting Wolverine across the room, that just screams “Mary Sue” at the top of a mountain.
As for the other four X-Men, good lord this looks stupid. Seeing Bores in identical leather costumes with very little difference between them. All that’s different is the skin tone and the glasses on Cyclops!

IG then asks the others if they have any problems, and they all do that awkward collar pull that’s often done on The Simpsons. Reducing the X-Men to cowards, another check for the Mary Sue list.

2:12 - 3:17: Continuing his complaint on Wolverine, he calls it blasphemous that they reduce the most popular X-Man to this. Then he brings up that Colossus is the exact same thing, and also looks less like Colossus and more like Captain Planet. This causes Pitor Bores-putin to walk away in sadness. This is really lame.
He brings up that Nightcrawler is also a puncher but he can’t teleport, but then sees him walking through walls. IG screams, then notes that’s not Nightcrawler’s power, that’s Kitty Pryde’s power. Causing Bores-crawler to face palm.
“That’s like taking a shit in your brownie mix” TOILET HUMOR! He still does it!
“Did they even read the source material here?” Considering it’s LJN, one of the absolute worst followers of source material, that’s a very likely no.
He then asks “What’s next? Making Storm a white chick?” and we see the very white and male Ororo Bores-roe reading from smutty Twilight fanficition, I mean Fifty Shades of Grey (because referencing that book isn’t old) and “she” yells “Just leave me alone!” Is it me, or does Chris’ portrayal of Storm only have one emotion? Bitchy anger. It’s coming off as kind of sexist.
EDIT: Fixed Storm's name, thanks starofjustice.

3:18 - 3:58: “Where the hell is the quality control in this shit” Look, I know referencing LJN is the thing that other guy does, but other reviewers have done it too. Most retro gamers know LJN is synonymous with crap, and the leading cause of “licensed games = bad”
But forget that, it’s skit  time!
IG is getting worked up and wants something to drink. He orders Bores-crawler to get him one, and using the powers of jump-cuts and After Effects, teleports out to get him water. IG yells at him for forgetting the ice and somehow throws his NES controller at him. Despite still being connected to his console, and it somehow loses the cord, as well as gain a weird white boarder around it. It’s like physics are non-existent in his little world.
He orders Ice-Bores to give him ice, so Ice-Bores… drops trou and literally shits out an ice cube into his cup. That was disgusting! How can his fans sit there and claim he doesn’t resort to toilet humor? This is the type of gross-out joke the AVGN would do!
Oh, and IG takes a drink from his cup and finds it “refreshing”. Again, how does he not resort to toilet humor? Please, tell me. The evidence is pretty strong in my case.
*sighs* Moving on.

3:59 - 4:59: He continues with the game and notes the objective is finding keys (complete with green circle). He shows a part where gets killed by a door.
“You can get killed by a door?” Yeah, it can crush you. Familiar with that concept?
Then a wooden door flies in and hits him. Okay, I’ll admit I didn’t expect that. Wasn’t funny but in the right direction.
He goes into how the game forces a second computer-controlled player in, and notes how the A.I. is really bad. Honestly, the review portion isn’t horrid. Granted, it’s nothing new but there’s not much to say about this game that hasn’t already been said so… yeah.
IG dies again and again due to the random respawns and poor computer A.I., causing him to facepalm. Okay, enough with the facepalms, it’s getting really redundant.

5:00 - 6:51: After his multiple deaths, Bores-clops walks in and offers the Game Genie. Do you HAVE to cheat in every single game? Just once, beat a game legitimately! I know X-Men on NES sucks hard, but the point is to persevere through the bad controls and garbage graphics just to see that shitty ending.
Anyway, IG summons the Game Genie, once again played by him (just keep rubbing that salt in, I still prefer Brad Harp, he’ll always be the best Genie. Despite his shoddy acting).

Characters: 11

IG commands him to “do his thing” and so he… gives IG a beard. Wha? What sense does that make?
“Whoops, wrong code” What the hell kind of code is that? Oh right, I forgot that in his stupid world, the Game Genie alters reality as well as games. Then why call him a Game Genie? That’s just a regular one. Plus, if he had that power he could do more than the actual Game Genie cheats.
Also, didn’t the Genie have some evil revenge plan? No, I’m not letting that go.

IG cheats his way to finding the keys and faces a stage boss, this one resembling a combination of Quick Man from Mega Man 2 and Captain Boomerang from the DC Universe (this is my comparison, not his. He’s not that clever). He complains that this isn’t an X-Men villain, and wonders if there’s a real one like Mr. Sinister, but then remembers he’s in the Silver Surfer game. Oh hey, referencing a previously reviewed game. Progress!
EDIT: Turns out the Boomerang boss is exactly that, a villain called Boomeraing. He's an obscure Spider-Man villain, and according to the manual it is him. I'd question why this game would include him, but LJN. Thanks to starofjustice for pointing this out.

He beats the boss, and explains how he has to leave the stage before time runs out. He does the same scream he did earlier because… he can’t comprehend the concept of a Load-Bearing Boss. Have you ever played a fucking Metroid game? That’s how Metroid Prime begins, that’s how most (if not all) Metroid games end!
Look, I do think it’s counter-productive to make players walk back the entire stage after beating the boss, but you sound like you’re not familiar with this common video game trope.

IG goes over how the rest of the stages are the exact same thing (I can see actual X-Men villains like Juggernaut and Sabretooth), except for level 2 since it doesn’t have keys. Then he does a weird face and thumbs up, and the Trollface appears over him. I’d say he killed Trollface, but rage comics did that a looooong time ago.
Wait, was that weird face his attempt at Trollface?

6:52 - 8:29: He reaches the final boss, Emma Frost (before her Face-turn) but notices she has shape-shifting powers. IG freaks out because that’s Mystique’s power. Look, by this point you shouldn’t expect consistency. No reason to frea-
Of course, IG does another scream (because Rule of Three), and continues to rant on the inconsistencies, then notes one of the enemies looks like Gleep from the Herculoids. … No they don’t, they nothing like Gleep. He even provides a picture for comparison but I don’t see it.
“That’s right, I went old school for that joke” Good for you, have a cookie. I totally didn’t bake it with thumbtacks.

He reaches the ending, which as you might guess is all text. However, the game is not over as Bores-clops tells him there’s a secret 5th level that can be accessed by a button input code. IG does so, sees the level, growls at Bores-clops, and *sighs* activates the Power of Inferno. Might as well call it the Power of Marty Stu. The, ugh, Inferno turns his shirt red and starts creating power things in his hands. Then Goro shows up out of nowhere, and leaves when he sees what’s going on. That seemed like a reminder that character still exists. Do I add him the tally? Nah, he’s just a sprite.
IG fires the things on his hands at Summers, and reverts back to normal. Defeating Cyclops with ease… actually Cyclops can be a jobber so I’m not counting that as a Mary Sue moment.
Before he continues the game, IG notices his cup is empty and asks Ice-Bores for a refill. He unzips his pants and pisses into the cup. … Do I even have to say it?

8:30 - 9:33: IG wonders why a game would only allow their last level through a secret code (Oh hey, an actual legit point) and wonders where one would find it (read below) and lists off possibilities like the manual, his ass (shot for the ladies I presume) and between the couch cushions. Between the cushions he finds his Orko action figure and yells at, ugh, Little Cousin Joey. He briefly appears coloring in an old Nintendo Power magazine.

Characters: 12

By the way, the code to the final level is on the front of the cartridge. Granted, that’s a pretty terrible place to put it, but the developers at least put it somewhere. I found this info on MobyGames, a good place to do research.

After complaining some more, Ice-Bores shows up says it could be a cool Easter Egg (it’s not). I’m not sure if that was a pun or not. Either way, IG doesn’t approve and punches him so hard that he shatters. Wow, if the Irate Gamer was in the Marvel Universe, he’d be a cheaper character than Red Hulk. He’d also be the most hated character of all time.

He explains the level, reaches Magneto, brings up that he doesn’t care anymore, beats the game, and notes that it’s just another text based ending (what else were you expecting?)

The video ends with IG violently taking the game out his NES (seriously, look at how rough he is) and throwing it at Not-Wilson’s head again, who is just recovering from the last physics-defying cartridge.
Cutting back to the Castle of Evil we see the HAL-Bots working on something, as it zooms up we see Evil Gamer and the lead HAL-Bot and we notice in the background is a giant HAL-Bot. Wait, this seriously can’t be the “master plan” can it? The giant HAL-Bot turns on and like the others says “Hello Dave”. Evil Gamer poorly hams it up and the video ends.

I’m counting the different HAL-Bots as three characters so… Characters: 15. Huh, what do you know.

That’s the master plan? Another robot? Oh, but it’s one giant robot instead of an army of human sized robots. I sense one of two things. IG will grow giant and beat it, or ROB will grow giant and beat it. Either way, it will be anti-climactic and THIS IS LAME!

This video was stupid.
To be fair, the review portion wasn’t horrid. Granted, there wasn’t much to say about this game that hasn’t already been said, but it says a lot when the only thing that really annoyed me was the use of Game Genie.
The sketches and story bits on the other hand hurt. All that X-Men stuff was an absolute mindfuck to sit through, I still hate that Bores plays the Genie now, and where the hell is the Wise Sage? It’s been over a year since he last appeared. Despite only two appearances, his portrayal of Storm kind of came off as sexist.
Once again, the story goes nowhere. All the sketches did was establish the Irate Gamer as a bigger Sue than the Sentry and Red Hulk combined. And where’s the Pixel Demon? Unless… unless he’s trying to establish a rogues gallery of sorts. If that’s the case, RUN! EVERYBODY GET OUT OF HERE! *flees*

*comes back* But that’s just a guess. I really don’t know where he’s going. He’d probably establish this easier if he was more consistent with his output and didn’t leave his “haters” guessing what sort of stupid shit he’d do next MONTHS at a time.
That’s all for now. I do wonder what brand of idiocy we’ll see from Bores for Halloween this year.

EDIT: Here's something interesting one of my informants located.
Now, Bores has never been one to talk to or be friendly with other reviewers. Guru Larry was a rare case where he'd willingly talk to him. However, when Larry decided to confront Bores about Johnny Awesome winning a second contest, this is what happened.

Classy. Bringing up a job Larry was fired from.
For the record, Larry never worked for GotGame. No idea where Bores got that idea.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Irate Gamer's Contests Are Still Rigged

*sighs* You know, this post was going to be reserved for the Irate Gamer drinking game. But I'm going to have to postpone that because Bores pulled another insanely stupid stunt with his contests.

The way to enter in one of his many contests is to subscribe to his channel and write "PICK ME" in the comments section. Considering how adamant he is about people being subscribed, it's quite obvious what his true intent is. Still, it seems like every fan gets a fair chance right? WROOOONG!

Last year, IG gave away some Star Trek posters. One of the winners was a kid calling himself Johnny Awesome (because Rotten was taken), he even made a video showing off his "amazing" posters. Does he care they're Star Trek? I don't know, but I do know he only cares that they came from Chris Bores.

Johnny came to my attention when he started posting here about meeting Bores himself. I brushed him off since I didn't care. Earlier this year, Bores went down to Florida to shoot footage for the Haunted Investigators relaunch and, likely forced by his mother, went to visit Johnny. Johnny filmed the meeting while advertising it as the most epic thing ever, even though it was just the two of them standing around awkwardly talking. To be fair, he's a dumb kid and probably thought that was epic. I wonder if his parents know what kind of show the Irate Gamer is, and that it's not exactly suitable for his age.

Last week, Bores did another contest. Giving away one of his t-shirts and mouse pads (flying off the shelves!). Yesterday he announced the winners, one of them happened to be Johnny Awesome... again.

That's right IG fans, you don't get a fair chance after all, and you know why? His mom. LadyBuggin777. She's openly admitted that she picks the winners, and since I've seen some of his other notable fanboys (I won't say names, but you can figure out who they are) win as well, this told me the contests were rigged. The fact that Johnny won again only convinces me further. Considering LadyBuggin was the one that arranged the above mentioned meeting, and going by posts on her channel, she seems to stay in contact with Johnny.

Sounds like there's hidden criteria to the contests after all. Not only do you have be subscribed and write "PICK ME", but you must be 100% loyal to the Irate Gamer (all other reviewers are scum in your eyes) and you must be nice to his mommy. Considering how many actual fans LadyBuggin has pushed away and/or blocked, that's not an easy feat.

Now I know there's going to be some people saying "LadyBuggin isn't real, it's just Chris pretending to be her, pulling a Norman Bates". I used to believe that too. But Eric "Wise Sage" Allen has told me that LadyBuggin is real, and actually has control of IG's account. What reason does he have to lie? Hell, Eric has been openly critical of Chris' work, so he's not 100% "loyal".
Plus, there's a difference in how the two of them type. Chris is reserved and quiet, while LadyBuggin is loud and angry.

This post is calling out both Chris and his mother for pulling this sham on so many fans. This is absolutely deplorable and not how contests should be done. Winners win once, that's a rule you should stick with. Johnny won his posters, he shouldn't be allowed other prizes.
I doubt this will accomplish anything, but it will get the message out that the Irate Gamer's contests are not all they seem. Spread this around.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Must Rush Resident Evil 6 Review Just Like Capcom Rushed The Game Out

Now, time to look at IG’s latest main video and see what stupid storyline he tries to implement this time. Hang on, it’s ANOTHER two minute Neo video? Jeez, what is it this time? Resident Evil 6? Wow, another game that came out today. I’m surprised Bores is getting so many of these advanced copies. Of course, he sacrifices quality by putting out the reviews the day the game comes out, and considering his track record of not beating games I seriously doubt he beat all three main campaigns plus Ada Wong’s campaign.

Everything I’ve seen and heard about RE6 has been bad. The demo was a mess, with Chris Redfield’s part reminding me more of Gears of War than Resident Evil, Leon’s part was full of pointless Quicktime Events (say, remember how RE4 did QTE, those were better!) and I haven’t tried Jake’s part but I hear it’s a combination of the two. The game has gone out of its way to actively not want my money, leading to nothing more than a rental. Capcpom’s statements about wanting this to achieve Call of Duty sales only left a bad taste, with people that tried the game calling it “Call of Evil”.
The fact the game is getting negative reviews tells me that Capcpom made some pretty bad choices.

However, I suspect Bores will adore this game because he got an early copy and won’t understand why the fans are so opposed to it.

We start on IG wearing a RE6 shirt. That’s different.
Of course he starts off mentioning he played this game at E3. That’s it, next time I’m writing up the Irate Gamer drinking game. There’s just so many things he does over and over that I think it’s required.

He brings up that the trailer they showed at E3 is how the game starts, and he likes how they start like that. Because that’s how Resident Evil should start, like an action movie. Running from infected dogs into a mansion? Getting attacked by villagers until the church bells ring? Well, that’s just boring.

IG says the game is fun and easy to pick up. Then for whatever reason brings up that he played Dead Island. What does that have to do with this? He says he found it hard to get into because he kept dying. Considering there’s no punishment for dying in that game, I don’t see how that stopped you. I just found the game repetitive and disappointing because like a lot of other people I was fooled by the trailer with the family. I will give it props for the amount of exploration that is possible.

But he likes RE6 because the controls are awesome (they are? Everything I’ve heard said the controls are crap) and how it’s smooth and that you can change the “difficulty selcth”. I think he means difficulty selection, and that’s in a lot of games so I don’t see how that feature is a positive. That’s like praising a game because you can pause it (something you can’t do in Resident Evil 6, what do you know).
He then brings up that if he got stuck, it’s because of something he did wrong. Oh hey, maybe they finally made the “easy setting more easier” like he wanted.

He mentions there’s a learning curve, wait hang on! Earlier you said it was easy to pick up! Does it have a learning curve, or is it easy to figure out? It can’t be both!
He swiftly moves on to mention that there are three storylines, then the game’s “creep factor“. Wow, he’s going fast and not really explaining his points all that well. It’s like he really, really wanted to get this video out by October 2nd.

He gushes about the graphics and how “realistic” they’re getting, then praises the storyline. Are you serious? The storyline? The story’s a joke! I hear a lot of it is told through library files (sounds very FFXIII) that you have to locate, and that all the new characters created solely for co-op reasons are pointless. Plus, how contrived is having Wesker’s son in the game? Yeah, I get the feeling Bores only started Resident Evil on the fifth game.

“Old school Resident Evil fans I think you’ll (pause) really enjoy this one” No, no they won’t. It’s a departure from what made Resident Evil the franchise it is. Why do you think there are three separate storylines? Because Capcpom couldn’t decide on what they wanted. They wanted a Western-style shooter, so we get Gears of Chris Redfield. The fans wanted something like RE4 so we got Leon’s campaign (which from what I’ve heard still isn’t that great). The fact people describe the game as a Michael Bay movie does not make it look good!
Then he says that anyone that’s new could easily get into this one. I recommend they don’t.
Yeah, it’s easy to tell from the footage that Bores only played like an hour or two of Leon’s campaign.

That was… not as bad as I thought it would be. Just boring.
It wasn’t as heinously bad as his Resident Evil 5 review, and it felt a bit more scripted than the DOA5 review from last week, but it was still a waste.
I’m surprised Bores didn’t mention the camera giving him motion sickness. The camera is one of the worst I’ve seen in a long time.

That’s it for now. I’ll give this post a few days to linger before I write up the Irate Gamer drinking game. Unless the next regular IG episode comes out within that time. We’ll see what happens.

EDIT: Guru Larry has pointed out that, once again, Bores stole the footage. We are unable to find out who as, this time, Bores zoomed in to hide the watermark (the zoom is how Larry found out it was stolen). But IGN or Gamespot sound like likely sources as both have watermarks in their videos. Plus, the game just came out so it's not like Cyberman65 or another independent video maker who had a full playthrough up on YouTube.
Good lord Chris, have you no shame?

EDIT 2: He posted another contest video, showing off some more stuff he got at E3 and announcing the winners of his previous contest. What's interesting is that one of the winners has already won before, and it just so happens to be that little brat he met in Florida. Jeez, could you make it any more obvious that these contests are shams? Not only has the same person won twice, but this kid also stays in contact with his mother! The same mother that has openly admitted to picking the winners.
So once again, any small time fans will not win his contests. You better be ultra-loyal and be nice to his mom. No matter how much of a psycho she acts like.