Friday, January 11, 2013

Attempted Storyline Analysis + The Last Polishing

2013! This will be one fine year! What does Bores have to start this year off?

*History of Video Games 3 HD revision*

… So much for this year being good.
*watches* Okay, there’s really not that much to say about this one. It’s slightly shorter than the original, but it’s also very similar.
Here’s a couple of positives. He actually got Al Alcorn’s name right, I don’t know about the pronunciation but at least he didn’t call him “Acorn” this time. He removed that pointless Irate Gamer water mark he put over his “exclusive” footage, probably out of humiliation after Mike Matei favorited videos of said games. Last thing is that the explosion during the Gran Trak 10 segment looked more like a video game explosion and it wasn’t the traditional Bores-boom.

But there was still a large number of problems. He still claims nobody can confirm Bushnell saw the Odyssey, even though Bushnell himself confirmed it (here‘s more confirmation: http://www.pong-story.com/odyssey.htm). He still uses footage from CNBC’s “Game On: The Unauthorized History of Video Games”. He still says some of the games suck, notably Gotcha and Rebound. He still makes perverted jokes about Gotcha’s original controls and the ad for it. In the latter, he even adds a line (“I’ll just save this for later”) and instead of looking suspicious, he looks smug. Gross. I’m still trying to decide if this is explaining the joke.
There’s still awful editing in the Gran Trak 10 segment (green screen, then real arcade, then green screen again). He also misspells Gran Trak 10 in the video’s title, calling it “Gran Tran 10”. Here’s a screenshot in case he edits it later.




He also added a couple of cutaways, like somehow knocking over an Arcade machine like it’s a mini-statue, or pretending to be an Army general while playing Tank. This last one is especially painful.

Well, this was a disappointing start. But I can’t leave you all hanging like this. Hmmmm. I’ve got it! Let’s talk about his storyline.

A couple months ago, Bores announced in his 300th video *cough* that he only had 1 or 2 episodes left until his storyline wraps up, and he’ll return to videos similar to the ones he made before. More train wrecks like Aladdin? Perhaps.
When asked about making a movie (just like the AVGN is doing now), Bores would point to these recent videos and say “String it together and you have my movie.” I’m going to go over why this doesn’t make sense.
Bores also claimed that this storyline was a “reboot” of his show. However, Bores has the same grasp of what a reboot is as Tim Buckley. Same awful jokes, same lazy reviews, same cheating, and worst of all, references to past videos. If it’s supposed to be a reboot? Why bring up past events?
That’s another one of the biggest issues with his storyline, continuity is all over the place.

First, I’m going to try my best to summarize what has happened so far. Not an easy feat.

The story starts with the Evil Gamer  revealing that he’s nothing more than a lowly right-hand man to a bigger villain, the Shadow Overlord! Or Shadow Lord, Bores seems to switch between the two without reason. This all-powerful evil… is just Bores in Shadowrama, distorting a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. Pretty fucking weak.
Their plan involves an artifact that will free Shadow Bores from his prison and when he’s free he’ll take over the world. You know the joke…
Their sole obstacle is the Irate Gamer, and Evil Gamer’s “mindless trolls” are useless. That’s right kids, don’t blame the trolls you get on incompetence or people just being dicks, blame it on your fictional evil twin. It’s therapeutic!
Then EG explains their next plan of stealing IG’s super special awesome Magnavox Odyssey, because “show don’t tell” is for losers.

Following that “intimidating” intro, it cuts to IG at his home, revealing Goro from Mortal Kombat is his next door neighbor for some reason. Trying to establish that IG lives in an apartment building, despite all exterior shots being of a ranch style home. Maybe it’s a TARDIS? Fuck me I hope that’s not a plot point in the future… IG decides to play 7-Up games.
Then hijinx ensue as EG tries to steal the Odyssey from him. First he tries to give away “free” pizzas in exchange for the Odyssey, or rather “for anyone who has a Magnavox Odyssey”. As the Third Rate Gamer puts it “I’m giving them away in exchange for people!” Come back TRG.
IG sees through his disguise and that fails. So EG dresses up like Doctor Bores-sano and tells him someone is giving out free Xbox 360s outside. Despite being a PS3 fanboy, IG falls for it, giving EG ample time to steal it. IG goes out to his green screen world and talks to his neighbor Wilkins, who is obviously supposed to be Wilson from Home Improvement but Bores changed his name to “make him an original character”. Basically, the same logic as a Sonic fanboy on deviantArt. Realizing there aren’t any Xboxes, he tries to head in but finds the Tanooki Suit from Super Mario Bros 3, and instead of putting him in a full body raccoon costume, it immediately turns him into the stone statue. Not how that works. So EG manages to get away, but IG doesn’t seem to care as by the next video he has a new Odyssey on his shelf (or he’s absolutely shit at keeping continuity).

Then Kool-Aid Man shows up for no reason. As IG nears the end of Cool Spot, Wise Sage also shows up but doesn’t get any lines. IG sends in the ending image to 7-Up to get his prize (even though that contest probably ran out years ago) and his reward is even more copies of Cool Spot, ending Part 1.
But before that, at stupid villain’s lair, EG hooks up the Odyssey and it transfers stuff into a robot body. The HAL 9000 is now a robot, and waaaay less of a threat than he was in the actual movie. Also, does this mean History of Video Games is just as much a part of the regular show, or is it a separate series? Makes no sense.

Part 2 opens showing that the Odyssey can make more than one HAL-bot. The one from the last video has a red eye and is called R.E.D. while the other HAL-bots have a purple eye. Either way, it’s still Bores in a full-body suit. Now there’s an army of them, and a plan is about to happen.
After somehow seeing a repeat of a soap opera (not sure how that happens) with Ronnie the Skeleton (urgh), IG decides to play RoboCop. That’s when Tony and the Wise Sage show up, and we learn Tony is a complete sociopath, saying he‘s going to beat the crap out of his neighbor just for playing loud music. This is a character we’re supposed to like!
Then we learn IG, Wise Sage and Tony all went to high school together, Tony was a sociopath back then, and Wise Sage died from a bad cough or something. It’s not funny.
During the review, something shoots at IG. It’s R.O.B. the robot, now rebuilt after being destroyed. Despite being a reboot, that event still happened. Tony explains he rebuilt it and made it good, though he doesn’t explain why it shot at him or Wise Sage, who probably wouldn’t feel it because he’s dead. Argh, nothing makes sense!

To prove its loyalty, R.O.B. kills an invading ED-209 that appears out of nowhere. Then somehow kills it in the game, because logic is dead.
Then Tony and Wise Sage run in and tell IG to turn on the TV. A HAL-bot invasion is happening in their city, and I’m starting to see why IG couldn’t see through EG’s disguise earlier, everyone in the city looks exactly like Chris Bores but with different hair styles. How very vain.
Seeing this “horrible carnage”, IG sends R.O.B. to take care of it while he sits on his ass and plays more RoboCop games in Part 3

Part 3 shows R.O.B. roll into the city and easily destroys the HAL-bots without a hint of resistance. It’s like their programmed to easy mode. Oh and he saves Little Cousin Joey, no idea why he’s here.
IG and Wise Sage wonder if something happened to R.O.B., pretending that an ARMY OF ROBOTS is not a big deal. It’s also Wise Sage’s last scene, he hasn’t appeared in over a year.
R.O.B. returns home and Evil Gamer yells at him for destroying his army, and demands he come back to be re-programmed. Oh right, that was a plot point too, before the “reboot”. See what I mean?
R.O.B. just shoots him, and somehow doesn’t kill him. It blows up robots, but merely singes humans like a Looney Tunes cartoon. We also get a pay-off to IG getting all those copies of Cool Spot, a sign saying that he’s selling them. … LAME!

Part 4 has IG somehow playing the Arcade Dig Dug on Atari when he gets a visitor. It’s a monk, he claims to have traveled many miles to give him the “Sword of Inferno”. Of course, a free magical sword means he must review a He-Man and the Masters of the Universe game. What a bizarre shift in genre.
When he starts sucking at it, he holds aloft the sword, says “By the Power of Inferno, I have the power!” and his shirt goes from blue to red. … ULTRA LAME!
This somehow improves his skill, oh and R.O.B. becomes “Battle Bot”, like Battle Cat only with zero changes to its look.
Meanwhile, the monk returns to his… I think temple, and reports to the elder. The elder proclaims that only the Irate Gamer, the Chosen One, can defeat the Shadow Overlord. … So yeah, he’s the chosen one now. Oh look at that, my hand is through a wall.

Part 5 starts with a news report about the robot invasion in Part 3, showing that Bores didn’t forget about it. The stupidly named reporter (Johnny Newscaster) interviews various characters, including EG, Tony and Devil Bores. Somehow, it doesn’t cross his mind to trace EG and call the police. Maybe the police don’t exist in the Irate Gamer world.
IG doesn’t care for the interview and looks at Silver Surfer instead. When the game gets too hard, he uses his Game Genie, which has an actual genie. It’s obviously meant to be a connection to the Aladdin review (again, reboot) as the Genie there went inside his NES Game Genie. Only now, he’s played by Bores. I wish I could get in contact with Brad Harp, ask him about the Aladdin review. It was almost four years ago, he probably doesn’t remember.
After an awful explanation that hurts my inner-Doctor Who fan, the Genie gives him infinite lives. Bores doesn’t realize that he can also be invincible with an in-game cheat. You’d think if he looked up Game Genie codes…

He reaches the final level and a message appears warning him of the Pixel Demon. Apparently, the Genie and R.O.B. (who is in this video for no reason) know about it and run in fear. Then the monk from the last video appears and explains the Pixel Demon was locked in Silver Surfer because of its impossible difficulty. Like I’ve said, awful creepypasta.
The monk tells IG that he can use his Power of Inferno to stop him. How will the sword help? It doesn’t, turns out he doesn’t need the sword at all as he can use the power to summon surfboards out of thin air. What?
We also see the Pixel Demon, it’s a green toad-looking thing that’s not even made of pixels. IG uses the surfboard to go in the game and confront the Pixel Demon. He easily defeats it with a single Bob-Omb. … FUCKING LAME!
Oh but the Pixel Demon survives and hops out of the TV. It’s fucking tiny, what can it do in the real world?

Part 6 has EG tell Shadow Something that their plan is ready. His first appearance since Part 1 (such a great villain)
IG on a comic book kick (THREE MONTHS LATER) and he decides to review X-Men on NES.
Then the six X-Men from the game show up. Wolverine, Colossus, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Iceman, and Storm.
After insulting Wolverine, he walks up and says “I resemble that remark”. I don’t think that joke works here, it should be something like “You’re a disgusting pig!” “No I’m not *belches*” or “Your grammar is atrocious!” “No it aren’t!”
He swats Wolverine like he’s nothing, reducing the rest of the X-Men to pathetic wimps, and slaves. Our hero!
Colossus and Storm leave, Nightcrawler teleports away when IG breaks physics to throw a controller at him, Cyclops is killed by IG’s Power of Inferno (no, not the sword, ANOTHER new power) and Iceman is shattered. So, IG is the bad guy? This doesn’t make sense.
Then we see EG’s new plan, a giant HAL-bot! … I sadly know where this is headed.

That’s where the story ends for now.
Did any of that make sense?
Let’s go over various issues I’ve noticed.

Holy crap is it trite. How many damn clichés are there? Evil twin, big shadowy villain, army of minions, CHOSEN ONE, robot sidekick, best friend that looks different (Wise Sage and Tony), magical sword, magical powers, villain wanting to take over the world, and so on. Did he write this when he was ten and didn’t change anything about it now that he’s well past 30?

The characters are either horrible people or have zero personality. Tony is a sociopath that assaults people for petty reasons, Wise Sage is just there, Devil Bores is a moron, R.O.B. is nothing (not even sarcastic or robotic like other shows) and the Irate Gamer himself is a horrid monster that abuses his powers and never gets what’s coming to him. He’s far too strong and yet somehow we’re supposed to root for him. Somehow, he’s the hero!
We know nothing about the villains, outside of “they’re evil… grrr”. None of the characters have developed outside their single dimension. Look, I know it’s silly to overanalyze the characters in a dumb review show, but if Bores wants us to take it seriously, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

What direction is this going? Part one is wacky hijinx to get the Odyssey, parts two and three are about a robot army that’s defeated way too easily, part four is suddenly about a magic sword, part five introduces a new villain out of nowhere despite the old ones still out there, and part six shows those old villains with no reference of the new one.
Bores has said multiple times that “stringing this together will make his movie”. THIS ISN’T HOW MOVIES WORK! Movies need to be consistent, a beginning, a middle, and an end. If you want to do something different, you can reverse the order or change it up like Memento or Pulp Fiction. Yet what feels like a climax takes place 30 minutes in, and now you’re on something else. It would be like an action film that got bored in the first act and decided to resolve itself and become a satire about the media.

And then there’s the questions. Oh god, so many questions. Nothing makes sense!
Why is Goro living in Ohio? Why does IG’s apartment building look like a house? How did HAL get in the Odyssey? How can the Odyssey produce multiple HAL-bots? Why are their bodies so shitty that they can be blown up easily? What did Wise Sage have that killed him? How come R.O.B.’s eye beams can blow up robots but only singe humans like a cartoon? Why does Evil Gamer exist? How is Irate Gamer the chosen one? How can IG access his powers if he doesn’t have the sword? What’s the point of the sword? How did everyone already know about the Pixel Demon? Why didn’t they choose a game that technically has no ending to trap it? How can IG summon surfboards? Why is he called the Pixel Demon when he’s not actually made of pixels? How come nobody traced the Evil Gamer’s location during the news broadcast? Where are the cops? What kind of world is this where almost everyone looks the same? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! GAAAAAAAAAAA-

*wakes up* In conclusion, Bores can’t write for beans. Nothing makes sense, and if he thinks this is how a movie works, then his claimed education was a waste.
I’ll revisit this whenever his storyline does finish up. Sure, he said 1 or 2 more, but that could take ages.

Before I go, I want to fulfill the fan’s request. The Y2B Productions wedding video ad. Seems the internet has come across a page on “wedplan.net” with an for a certain Sandusky based video maker. http://www.wedplan.net/pages/9621/
There used to be text there, but it’s gone now. However, skyrunner14 managed to get a screencap before (I assume) Bores took it down.



The fact he did wedding videos was already brought up in his biography (which I combed through here: http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2012/01/egotism-continues-in-chris-bores.html). Here’s what’s interesting, the other videographer ads on the site show samples of their work. Y2B Productions doesn’t have that. Other ads mention a price range with stated numbers, the screenshot up there only mentions “low prices”. Not a very good advertisement Bores, it’s no wonder you moved onto ghost hunting.

I’m beat, catch you all whenever.

EDIT: New update from his site. Dated 1/15/2013

Welcome to another year, the sixth for the irategamer! Make sure you check out the HD version of History of video games part 3. Contains a few extra cutscenes that I found humorous. Every episode on History of Video games is now in HD. Expect a DVD release very soon. Still working on the bonus features. Plus more irate goodness on the way very soon!

DVD? For something that hasn't even hit the Atari 2600? Jeez, he's deluding himself hard.
Also, he better not use that John Williams and Ennio Morricone music, otherwise he can get sued.

78 comments:

  1. In the spirit of criticizing Bores, someone with military knowledge please confirm that tank commanders don't shout "Fire in the hole," but that that's for something else like throwing grenades.

    Also: Not a criticism of Bores, but I don't get the challenge of "Gotcha." At all times, there are eight vertical channels that never contain obstacles. And what change there is seems to be very predictable, creeping down the screen at a steady rate. Has anyone here played this?

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    1. @Harrod
      Technically the term 'fire in the hole' is just meant to alert others that you are about to make a confined space briefly unaccountable to human life. A Tank commander could yell that if he was about to order his gunner to fire an Incendiary round into a building via window. It still doesn't make any sense though because if tanks are in play then infantry would probably never be storming any bunkers given that tanks are generally for demolitions support.

      As for gotcha. The difficulty is supposed to come from the fact that one player is using his breast controller to try and catch you and the second using his breast controller to try and run the fuck away from you. The walls periodically close off so you have to plan ahead since the you move just as slow as the closing walls do.

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    2. Thanks, Kill... I should have figured that out about Gotcha if I'd paid closer attention to the video (Maybe Bores just makes it hard, maybe it's my fault), and "make a confined space briefly unaccountable to human life" is great sentence construction.

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  2. Glad you were able to put my picture to good use, and great article! Too bad Bores doesn't take your articles seriously, he could use some pointers on that less-than-epic story of his.

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  3. I've noticed that the "Sword of Inferno" in Bores' "story" is the same prop sword that he used to kill "Skeletor" in his I-Rate the 80's He-Man action figure review, from before he established the sword having magical properties for some reason.

    Would this count as more of his laziness?

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  4. I kinda want to say he did plan on making the early stuff longer, but it takes so long for him to produce anything substantial he got bored with it and wanted to take his "story" in a new direction. Although I'm still baffled that he seems to think playing 15 different characters in a single video is impressive, and not indicative of how alone he is making these.

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  5. "It would be like an action film that got bored in the first act and decided to resolve itself and become a satire about the media."

    Or like Rat Pfink a Boo Boo. A 1966 crime drama that, halfway through, gets bored and decides to become a parody of the 60s Batman show (a redundant decision, but whatever).

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  6. I'm thinking that Bores' "Movie" is only one in the same sense that Monster A Go-Go, The Beast of Yucca Flats, or The Wild World of Batwoman are movies. It definitely feels that way given your analysis of the storyline, Dan.

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    1. Suddenly, there was no plan. There was no castle, no villain, no thing called "Shadow Overlord" to be fought. There was nothing in Ohio but a terrible reviewer who found this plot line boring and decided to make more Family Guy references.

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    2. Blogspot needs a thumbs system or something, this made me laugh to no end. Well done, good sir. XD

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    3. Sorry I'm lost, what are you referencing?

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    4. The "twist" ending to Monster A-Go Go.

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  7. Not only is Bores' Wedding Ad very generic, worse now he removed nearly everything, it's on a very generic site that will let anyone add a reference to their company with no obvious quality control.

    No he doesn't actually have a website for his Wedding Video Company, PATENT PENDING, he provides no price listing, nothing beyond contact information. Laziness at it's best!

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    1. I'm most curious about why he'd remove the description. I mean, atleast that was something. Not a LOT of something, but something none-the-less. And I know I've already said this is the comments of the last post, but does he really expect to get any business with JUST that picture of his site? Anyone who WOULD consider hiring him will go to his site, see his work, and immediately regret even considering him. I'd ask if Bores really considers his work that good... well, just answered my own question. It's Norman Bores we're talking about here.

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    2. The thing is if you don't list your pricing and what your packages you are actually offering are why would anyone want to hire you?

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  8. I will say that I don't mind the genre change from sci-fi to fantasy since I do that, as well, but again it's the LITTLE things one can do. You have to think about the WHYS and the HOWS of all of this. In my show, I have established the rules of how magic is supposed to work. Many people disagree with me and I've tried to address potential plot holes or I have ideas on how to resolve those things later. The science-fiction and the fantasy stuff interact, but only in logical ways (raw magical energy utilized as a fuel source like any other form of energy, accounting for why historically magic is not a well-known science in the world that people study and etc.). The villains need build-up, they need backstories and reasons why we should be frightened of them. Example: Lord Vyce on my show kills a Pyramid Head, which has already been shown previously on the show to be pretty badass and demonic and hard to kill. Show the guy who's a threat actually BEING a threat. SHOW the audience "Oh crap - it just got real, yo." I spent almost a year building up the Entity as it slowly took people, showed people horrified by it, and demonstrating to the audience "Hey, it doesn't matter what you're planning - it's watching all the time. It's kind of playing with the fourth wall, too. IT'S KINDA SCARY."

    You know what ISN'T scary? Putting up on your website and Facebook "THE PIXEL DEMON IS COMING!" because NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE PIXEL DEMON IS. Tell STORIES about it - do some foreshadowing for God's sakes! Think of other names for it, study other horror stories and figure out what tends to be frightening for people! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO THE WORK.

    I think, in the end, that's the thing that annoys me so much about the guy - I lose sleep trying to make sure a storyline is perfect and ready for people to entertain and make sure, despite my low-budget operation with me playing three or four people, that it's still something I'm proud of! AND THEN THERE'S THIS ASSHOLE WHO THINKS IT'S HARD PUTTING IN A FRICKING STOCK EXPLOSION EFFECT. Hey, I've got stock explosions, too, BUT IT ISN'T HARD TO PUSH IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE AND CHANGE THE OPACITY MODE TO SCREEN. Editing, COMPLEX effects, timing, music, sound effects - THAT is the hard part.

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    1. I remember your commentary on how hard it was for you to add in the static effects into 90's kid when you finally had the confrontation with The Entity. The problem with IG is nothing he does is ever even close to that complicated. Even with the problems you had getting the effect to work like you wanted you still got the episode out more or less on time.

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    2. See, this is one of the problems with Bores only making like two of these a year. Instead of building up to something, he rushes ahead and gives no time to develop. He wants us to be scared of the Pixel Demon, but he gives no reasons why. Somehow, other characters know about it but he doesn't. And instead of showing this new threat is actually a threat, it goes down in one shot. How does he expect people to take it seriously?

      Also, when your fans ask you what the deal with all the Pixel Demon stuff is, don't just shout "PIXEL DEMON" at them, do something productive!

      In your Entity storyline, you pretended not to notice the static in the credits (similar to Everyman HYBIRD not noticing hidden videos and footage). It adds to the tension. Bores could have done the same, or have the Pixel Demon take over his Facebook. But no, he didn't think, he didn't care.

      As I've said before, writing seems to be a low priority compared to special effects and wacky characters.

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    3. Those are all very good points, but Bores wouldn't have created an ultimate villain as generic as Shadow Lord in the first place if he thought he had to bother with effort of any kind. I mean c'mon, just listen to the name. It's obvious he never cared.

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    4. It also doesn't help that when it comes to the review portion of a video, he doesn't even do that thoroughly or legitimately. he usually either just complains about the game being too hard and only shows the first few levels or says the games great but shows stolen footage. Regardless, he practically skips everything aside from the most basic gameplay the game has to offer. A mistake like this would be hilariously easy to fix and could arguably make him better than AVGN in terms of reviewing (AVGN makes similar mistakes i.e ghostbusters you can shoot straight using the second button on the controller or not mentioning that you have smartbombs in Silversurfer) which also would have made AVGN's rant on those subjects less funny and more stupid. Of course that would take time and effort, something Bore's just doesn't want to use and instead have other people just throw shit all over youtube till even that goes out of style.

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  9. Harrod, I accidentally deleted one of your comments. I am so very sorry.

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    1. It's OK... I was a little drunk and mainly saying I stand by my guess that Bores will end on a joke.

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  10. Oh wow. I just got word that someone attacked another person's youtube account (coincidentally the one I asked to mail Guru Larry) wirysage wrote "Hey man get a life; Asalieri was right in every way about you."

    when the guy who actually owned the account asked why. He replied "This is supposed to be you" and linked to "A fan-boy's" on asaleri2 youtube account.

    Looking on the page itself wirysage wrote "Has Mr. Kill Ultra made an angry post about you since you've put this video up?".
    Uh no I have not actually and I won't write one either. Because I'm not angry that you targeted the wrong person and demonstrated the importance of responsibility from both the fans and the celebrity. I'm actually happy because it shows how little people actually understand who I am or what anyone on this site stands for. Feel sorry for khoid though, hope his daughter wasn't online when that jerk sent his message.

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    1. I'm not sure I understand your story. Did some idiot troll confuse someone else for you? Is that what you're saying?

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    2. Indeed that is exactly what happened.

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    3. My condolences for your friend, who has to put up with all this silliness. People just take things like this WAY too seriously.

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  11. So Bores' definition of a reboot is the same as some DC comic series': Just pretend it's a reboot while continuing the old storyline.

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  12. Sooo, Chris went to school with all his friends, yet wise sage doesn't become a wise sage until AFTER he dies?

    I'd have thought death would have put an end to an academic career, but I guess in Bores world, Heaven has universities.

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    1. Keep in mind, Wise Sage is nothing more than a Star Wars reference. When he first appeared, he told Bores to "Use the code, Luke" (in reference to Contra). He probably thought "Sage" is another word for "Jedi".

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    2. Knowing Chris' love of food, he probably only thought it was a herb :D

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  13. So whatever happened to Devil Bores? Is he still an antagonist or what? And wasn't the evil gamer working for him, why did he switch sides to that shadow thing? Or was everything before the reboot just not part of the main plot?

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    1. No idea. At this point, Devil Bores seems to be nothing more than comic relief. Think about that for a second.

      It feels like Bores cherry-picked elements he wanted and didn't want to keep for the reboot. *shrugs*

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  14. Anyone notice that Nolan Bushnell's '70s pinball arcade included a "Simpsons" table?

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    1. Yep... that was also in the original video too.

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    2. Maybe I can't remember it because it's so long ago, but did Devil Bores ever do something threatening and/or evil Oo ?

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    3. Wait, I replied to the Devil Bores comment above this one. What the... Oo ?

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    4. @Doresh - I think in the Monster Party review, DB was 'unleashed' and about to rule the world, when IG persuades him to go for apple juice at a titty bar... I infer.

      So, I guess there was some malicious intent that was deflated at the end. This serves as a template for both the shadow overlord and pixel demon.

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    5. @Doresh
      It's been years since I stopped watching Bores, so I don't remember specifically, but didn't he let Evil Bores out of Hell or something to that effect? During the Monster Party episode? That's all I can remember...

      And reading that aloud... that sure sounds dumb.

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    6. @chris:

      Devil Bores could be stopped by a bouncy ball. Anything malicious about him is wasted.

      @skyrunner14:

      The only notable thing Evil Bores accomplished after his resurrection was getting the HALbot running. The only notable thing the HALbot accomplished was getting owned by R.O.B. without any effort.

      At least these villains get kinda more imposing with each time, but seeing how this all started with Devil Bores, that's pretty easy to do.

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  15. Kinda off topic, but it turns out that message of Bores calling someone a n-er wasn't shopped:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De6zAMQBkZ0

    Thoughts, cause I'm surprised he's resorting to racial slurs.

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    1. I really don't understand why Bores has so many supporters when he's been caught so many times writing egotistical and insulting other people. You could call them opportunists sure, but its not like they have anything material to gain.

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    2. And I thought I hated the guy a lot already... that's just awful. Maybe the fact he ACTS like a 12-year-old appeals to his 12-year-old fans?

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    3. Hey guys, remember when we couldn't make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?

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    4. You know, at this point I'm starting to believe Chris is trying to create as much controversy as possible to stay relevant.

      Delete
    5. @KUKEDUKE
      If he was, then calling someone the n-word isn't a good way to start controversy. I mean, what will happen if someone from GotGame finds out Bores used that word? Bores then pretty much shot himself in the foot then.

      Also, unlike the other times Bores snapped like that, the guy that e-mailed Bores (BoardGames100) did not do what hundreds of AVGN fanboys do and called him a ripoff. He just said that Bores's show was boring and tried to correct him on the "SMW is on the NES" mistake.

      Delete
    6. @Vicviper
      While its seems that Bore's using the N-word would equal fired, its obvious that its not the case since Bore's has been caught with plagarism and attempting to 'own' haters while still employed by Gotgame. To put it short, they don't care and they'll never fire him despite how completely amoral he is.

      @Kukeduke
      I honestly believe that's the only thing he has left, his ability to spread hate and motivate masses of nasty angry people. I mean literally, what has he done lately that proves he gives a crap about his fans? He doesn't post videos regularly, gives himself craptons of pats on the back, writes lame and unsatisfying stories and trolls other people pretending to be his mom (or his mom is really doing it for him, both of which are equally as bad). Chris is literally taking advantage of the fact that unsatisfied fans are more than willing to be assholes and throw shit at other people. Hell AVGN fanboys don't seem to be doing anything... are they?

      Delete
    7. GotGame will never get rid of Bores.

      He's submitted multiple lazy reviews, and instead of addressing this criticism from fans, they blocked everyone. They didn't even tell Bores to get better because he still does it.

      He's stolen footage without giving credit, and they brushed it off like it was nothing. Most other sites would fire him right there

      Delete
    8. Forgive me if I ask and already was given an answers.

      But did GotGame ever have a reputation for ethics and standards before hiring Bores?

      Not slamming them as I'm still unfamiliar with the company, but unless they had a reputation for quality should accepting Bores' problems be surprising.

      Delete
    9. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Bores also racist when he was in "Mexico" during one of his "Road Trips"? Something about the country having a lot of banditos...

      Delete
    10. @Andrew
      Nope, his bit on Mexico was about Mexican food, Taco Bells on every corner, and the water making you sick.

      The banditos part was in his Mario is Missing review, as he edited in text to make it look like one of the NPCs was mugging him. Also, the stage wasn't Mexico, it was Egypt. Showing he can't even tell the countries apart.

      Delete
    11. Ah, OK. Thanks. My bad. :-) Been a while since I looked at those.

      BTW, I wonder if the end of the next post will include mention of Bores stooping so low as to being a racist prick to BoardGames100... whenever Bores puts out a new video that is.

      And I still don't believe his "epic storyline" will be done after "one or two entries" this year.

      Delete
  16. Don't forget that Evil Gamer really comes off as redundant considering how IG tends to outdo him in the evil department.

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  17. Why does he even bother with the History of Video Game stuff? Way outclassed by every single person who participates in RetrowareTV's The Video Game Years by a long shot. I wonder if he has tried to get himself included in that like some sort of lamprey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he is indeed ripping off of RetrowareTV programs, Chris Bore's style would be to try and do everything himself while stealing/borrowing everything to make his job easier. He almost certainly wouldn't try to get on the show unless it would net him as the lead character for the show. Chris has never shown any genuine humility or subtly.

      Delete
    2. Mr. Saturn: I suppose he does it to convince people he's a gamer, much like some of his other stuff.

      Delete
    3. It should definitely be noted that Chris is fanatic about getting top billing. Just looking at the credits (for videos that had multiple people in them) shows how absolutely narcissistic he is. The predator video never revealed the person playing the predator, in haunted investigators Chris Bores is credited 4 times and wise sage is only credited once in several appearances. The stolen sonic footage from cyberman lists the guys name, but it was karl who put it in. My guess is that Chris is afraid that people will forget who he is if he puts anyone else's name in the credits.

      I believe the reason why Bore's doesn't want to work with people is that he doesn't want to share credit space. Did the guy wise sage ever show up again after the Aladdin review? If he didn't I think its because he demanded to be credited for his work. The same could be said for the haunted investigators which he refuses to post because his name doesn't take up 90% of the credits.

      Delete
  18. Offtopic, but does anyone have any good bands to recommend to listen to?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I recommend Dio, Iron Maiden, and Rammstein.

      Delete
    2. Lately I've been really into "20 Lb Sledge". They're a conservative christian metal band, so they might not be for everybody [/understatement]

      Delete
    3. I just go over to OCR and listen to the video game remixes there. Most of them are really really good.

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    4. Well it depends on what you want to listen to. Metal? Rock? Country? Jazz?

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    5. I'm more of the Rock type, though not Metal.

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    6. Well I've been getting into a band called 'The Stray Cats' recently, but they're more rockabilly.

      Delete
  19. Whatever you do listen to, you can't go wrong with the great works of Mike Oldfield.

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  20. Rather odd..
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo-Psf0jCp8

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Isn't beastly a 'friend' of ladybuggins?

      Delete
  21. Can you imagine Bores reviewing Riviera the Promised Land?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Rivera the Promiseland is a game for the GBA Advance released in the early 2000s."

      "The story follows a kid with a thunderbolt for a sword killing monsters, weird chicks in costumes (I especially like those)... and Tie-Fighters?! *insert obligatory Tie-Fighter picture here*"

      "Now as soon as you start this game, you notice a huge problem: The developers tried to make some kind of God of War, but they are apparently so bad they had to have to take turns for everything!
      Combat is boring, and you can't even move wherever you want! Is this a boardgame or something?!"

      *Lots of wintergaming*

      "After doing some research I found... absolutely nothing. WHAT is this game?!"

      *An earthquake*
      *Dude in a robe appears*

      "You have unleashed... the Polygon Demon! It was originally sealed inside this shitty game because nobody knows abou tit. Now it is unleashed upon this world!"

      *An ugly, frog-like thing jumps out the GBA. It's supposed to be the Polygon Demon, even though it's just a pre-rendered sprite*

      *The Polgyon Demon gets one-shotted by Bores. The end.*

      Delete
    2. "*An ugly, frog-like thing jumps out the GBA. It's supposed to be the Polygon Demon, even though it's just a pre-rendered sprite*"

      2 months effort XD

      Delete
  22. Bores should really learn to be consistent in his storyline. Otherwise, it would be like Disaster Movie or anything made by Uwe Boll.

    In other news, Ninja Theory's DmC: Devil May Cry has surprisingly gotten a lot of positive reviews. It shows that you can still make a game that has negative first impressions into a great product. Let's now see if Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance can do the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I can talk about DmC for a second, I have to admit; It's better than I thought it actually was.

      Now before somebody decides to call me an idiot for that, hear me out. I thought the game felt like the other Devil May Cry games. The moves are there, I like how you switched between Angel and Demon arms and the world is good looking, especially in the limbo. Is the game flawed? Yes. But it's a game I'm able to overlook the flaws on this game.

      As for the Dante, yes looks like a Hipster but I think he retains some of the old Dante attitude while giving a new twist.

      As for the flaws, well the lack on a lock on makes it harder to make the Stinger move and its angel and demon counterpart. The loading screens are atrociously long (about 30 seconds to load the game.) At least it's between mission.

      In the end, I think you should start with a rental to see if it's your type but you could be surprised like I was.

      Delete
  23. Bores said he added "cutscenes" to the HOVG. Someone doesn't know what a cutscene is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think Bores understands the difference between "cutscene" and "cutaway gag".

      Delete
  24. A few things from my Facebook informant.

    He once again bragged about how much work goes into History of Video Games and condemns Wikipedia again for being "inaccurate". Not realizing that sources are cited for a reason!
    He also calls putting it all together an "art form". Pffffft.
    He said that he'll "eventually" reach the modern consoles. If by "eventually" you mean 50 years then yes.

    He claims he doesn't announce what he's going to review because "someone seems to do it before he does". Who the hell cares about "reviewer dibs?" If that's an attempted slam towards the AVGN, then it doesn't make sense. He got out reviews "first" because he put himself on a schedule. You don't, you're a lazy idiot that takes months to put a review that most of the time you just cheat through. Don't be so worried about him or anyone else getting to a review first, at this point just about every bad NES game has been covered.

    He also said The Dark Knight Rises was terrible, and calls himself a "Batman comic purist". My informant found it so stupid, they screencapped it. http://i46.tinypic.com/2guk1nl.jpg
    Funny, I remember STELLA77 saying Bores never liked comics. It's almost like he's pretending to be a fan to attract viewers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jesus Christ! If this is a slam against AVGN, then once again Bores has proved himself to be a hypocrite against his "I stopped watching him" bullshit. My god, Chris, if it's affecting you so badly, then get a fucking plan together and announce your reviews ahead of time. That way, if this certain "someone" happens to review it, you wont be accused of plagiarism, as that is clearly what you're afraid of.

      As for The Dark Knight Rises, I didn't think it was as good as The Dark Knight, but it was far from terrible.

      I just hope he doesn't review Dredd or any of the comics. I can just imagine the review now:

      "Throughout the entire movie, Dredd never takes his helmet off, which I think is stupid. I mean, what's the point in never showing your heroes face? They had him take it off in the Stallone film, so why doesn't he take it off here? I swear they didn't even bother to read the comic book this is based on."

      Delete
    2. "condemns Wikipedia again"
      It should be noted that Chris used Wikipedia for his mario scandal review.

      "He claims he doesn't announce what he's going to review because "someone seems to do it before he does"."
      It should also be noted that Irate Gamer and his fanbase were one of the first to perpetuate that as even AVGN fans (even the more vocal of them) were okay with other people doing angry reviews on similar games.

      ""Batman comic purist""
      What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Does this mean he wanted the batman who ran around with guns shooting people in the face? Maybe he was too busy contemplating joker's boner.

      "He also calls putting it all together an "art form"."
      I agree, Chris's ability to be an asshole and influence others to be an asshole is indeed an art form that will baffle psychologists attempting to understand internet psychology.

      Delete
    3. Am I the only one who's sick of the backlash against the Dark Knight Rises? Regardless of its flaws, I would still take it over the films from Joel Schumacher or Tim Burton (I'm sorry, but I think the 1989 film is overrated). Maybe he saw Doug Walker's review of the film and took it as gospel...

      I'm positive that it, along with Prometheus and The Hobbit (which didn't get as big a backlash) will be re-evaluated in 5-10 years, and will be looked at less negatively. It happens all the time - even Citizen Kane and Vertigo weren't considered great movies back in their day. But I think any vindication of them is probably going to be more comparable to say, Temple of Doom or Return of the Jedi, which were considered the black sheep of their franchise.

      Delete
  25. Only a coincidence that Wikipedia recently celebrated its birthday.

    ReplyDelete