It’s funny, I thought things would be slow for a while. I guess my prediction skills are getting rusty.
Bores posted his first actual review of 2013, New Super Mario Bros 2, and only five months after it came out. Pity pity, you were getting so good at releasing reviews within a fortnight of release. Judging by the length of this video though (2:30), I don’t think it would have mattered as it sounds like this will be just as bad.
0:06 - 0:14: “It’s 3DS time” Joy…
“The New Super Mario Bros 2” There’s no “the” in it, stop adding “the” to things that aren’t there. I thought you broke that habit.
0:15 - 0:38: IG brings up the coin-collecting gimmick and the “coin-collecting based power-ups”, referencing the Gold Blocks and golden enemies. I wouldn’t really call those power-ups, the Gold Blocks are more like an item. The Gold Flowers are a power-up, but stuff like the Gold Blocks, Gold Rings and Gold Mushrooms are items.
He attempts to do Tony the Tiger’s catchpharse, but bumps his hand on an invisible block. *rolls eyes* I see the lame jokes are back.
By the way, collecting coins leads nowhere. The only reward for getting 1 million is a change to the title screen.
0:39 - 1:41: He notes the coin “life tab” on the title screen. You mean counter? The hell’s a life tab?
Then he notes you’ll be collecting coins until your head falls off, and his head falls off. I’d say “review over”, but I’m not that lucky.
He brings that the levels are an improvement, by mentioning how Worlds 4 and 7 were locked in the first NSMB, and they “fixed that” in this one by making the hidden worlds bonus levels. Then he brings up the hidden level cannons and how the mini-levels that follow kicked his ass. He dies on one and lets out one of the fakest screams he’s ever done. Real people don’t sound like this when they die in a game.
Also, specify in more ways how the levels are an improvement. Are they tougher? Are they more varied? All you said was “the hidden worlds are bonuses". That’s boring!
1:42 - 2:01: Blah blah blah levels blah.
He mentions that he loves the ghost houses as you never know where you’ll go. He shows Mario entering a door and… let me guess he shows up somewhere else that’s not actually the game.
Yep, he shows up in front of IG himself and runs to a door that’s on the other side of his desk. How did he not notice those doors before? Whatever…
The review ends with him enjoying the blasts from the pasts, citing the Koopalings and Reznors, but is saddened there’s no Kuribo’s Shoe. Then calls it a 3DS staple and must have. As he does his catchphrase, a Banzai Bill flies past him. Really, you resorted to that joke again? I don’t get why you like it, it’s not funny in the slightest.
That was… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
A whole lot of nothing really. He was vague, boring, and really added nothing a to game that’s 5 months old and has all the DLC released. I’m not even sure if he beat it.
Also, he couldn’t get a 3DS capture device. I know they exist, I’ve seen people sell them for a high price (I won’t say who as I’m iffy on the legality of it) and I’ve seen YouTube users Knightwing01 and Marriland use one, along with a few others. Vita I can understand, there’s no possible way to capture that yet.
Yeesh, this was a short article. This has also been a lame year so far. Nothing has really happened.
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I actually prefer the atrociously bad stuff, at least they lead to humorous rebuttals. This was just a boring, featureless dirge that contributed no insight on the game, which is especially unforgivable considering how long it's been out. He couldn't even be bothered to look at the online consensus and pretend they were his own opinions? I guess not, instead he needed more pointless visual effects.
ReplyDeleteIt's going to be a long year if this is anything to go by.
I agree. We have a lot more to talk about when Boring Man's reviews are horrendously bad than just boring. If IG does continue his show after his storyline finishes, I imagine it will be more stuff like Monster Party or Aladdin.
Deletejesus I think I could pull a better review out of my ass, Chris
ReplyDeleteReally Chris? New Mario 2? Couldn't he at least try to be SLIGHTLY relevant and cover Sticker Star or something? Then again, knowing him he'd probably just spend the entire review bitching about the stickers...
ReplyDeleteWasn't Nintendo kiddy?
ReplyDeleteThis new vid seems to have been taken down- his YouTube page has HOVG3 up top.
ReplyDeleteIt's on GotGame.
DeleteWow... I haven't actually watched the video, but the link to it on the front page... He looks like he's about to eat his 3DS...
DeleteWatching the video shows that he has more of a future in video editing than in video games, he did record footage with audio from the 3DS plug. Alas, this was more like a first impression video than a review.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Bores really does show potential when it comes to editing, and I can see him being really successful at that. Still his work ethic may let him down.
DeleteYeah, his editing chops seem to be improving, at least to the point where we can see he's got a lot more tricks than his patented "Bores Boom"(tm).
DeleteStill far and away from being a great reviewer though. Besides, he has to compete with Angry Joe for detailed insightful observations on modern games, and game related skits (that are actually well done), and having FRIENDS and GUESTS appear on his show! An important thing to show that you're not as alienated in the world of game reviewers. I don't accuse him of ripping Angry Joe, though. I just think he is more competition.
Not a bad review I guess, just rather bland and uninteresting with a lot of lame jokes thrown in. I still fail to see why he praises this game so much yet at E3 he criticized Nintendo for being to kiddy.
ReplyDeleteMy guess? Bandwagoning. He heard people claim Nintendo is kiddy, and to get viewers he starts saying it too. However, it contradicts when praises the hell out of Mario.
DeleteHe can't decide what he wants to claim so we get messy contradictions of "I WANT ADULT NINTENDO AND GRITTY ZELDA man Mario is always awesome, it should never change".
BatDanNight: That and as you put it best seems to think that being Irate/Angry means being hard to please, such as:
Delete1. Complaining about Tekken 6 because some characters don't speak English, yet is upset that some characters from Skylanders speak English.
2. Complained about Abu following you in Aladdin, yet he berates several levels from diverging from the movie (even though Genie's lamp does have relevancy).
As a clever German politician once said: "Why should I care about my yesterday's idle talk?"
DeleteThe sad thing is that his fans don't seem to notice the almost strange dichotomy in his rants.
Short typo:
ReplyDelete"by mentioning how Worlds 4 and 7 were locked in first NSMB"
There should be a "the" in between "in" and "first".
Got it.
DeleteIt was late last night and this review was so damn boring that it felt like I just pounded my fists on the keyboard and got this.
Man, his jokes are getting really predictable, aren't they? He isn't trying to bring up any new material.
ReplyDeleteThe odd description from GotGame
ReplyDelete"Irate Reviews this hit 3ds video game!"
I wonder who wrote that, Bores himself or the GotGame staff. I may be no IG fan, but even I know it's Irate "Gamer", not just Irate.
Anyone read TWD Comics? I just bought the first volume it was pretty good.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I dont think GotGame will last much longer it seems to have lost a lot of popularity. (Not that it had that much to begin with)
I always head to comic conventions in my area, so I'll look into getting the TPBs.
DeleteI also need to play the game, I've heard it's amazing.
Yeah TWD game is awesome, I got the first episode for free when they had that promo a while ago and I got hooked.
DeleteWell, no idea when Bores will release another video, so may as well bring up something to discuss.
ReplyDeleteWhile I enjoyed playing NSMB 2, I feel like at this point the franchise is running in place. Yes, I do like the games, having grown up with them, but what now? As Yahtzee has pointed out before, there isn't a lot of room left for expansion once space is brought into the equation. Any thoughts?
Oh, and long time reader, first time commenter. Keep up the good work, BatDan.
Time travel, perhaps? Hopefully not involving education.
DeleteWell, they could still make "Super Mario Space-Time Continuum"...
DeleteI guess it might help if they'd just drop the "New" in the title. It's not exactly new anymore if the "New"-series has become the main franchise.
More importantly would be more 3D titles in the style of Mario 64. It's hard to top Super Mario Galaxy, but I don't see why seeking refuge in 2D platforming helps here.
Hidden worlds are now bonus levels? What does that even mean Oo ?
DeleteWell, I figure we probably won't see any more "New" games for awhile. Mostly they just needed Mario U to have a top seller at launch.
DeleteMario Legends - Where he travels back in time to different Marios to make sure Bowser doesn't change history in Bowswer's favor?
DeleteWith retro levels that have modern elements? Like World 1-1 with elements from Mario Galaxy? Ooh, I like that idea!
Delete@Ranom Man
DeleteThat's a good idea.
I'd also like to see a 2D Mario game with a Metroidvania layout. Imagine playing to the end of the game, getting a powerup that's needed to access an area from the beginning of the game, then having to backtrack without getting hit or else you'll lose that powerup and have to get it again.
@ Shaolin Dave
DeleteThat sounds, no offense, really annoying. It sounds like something someone would put in a ROM hack.
Yoshi's Story was one of Nintendo's best platformers and it did not have any side routes or warp areas-- it was in fact more linear than the ORIGINAL Super Mario Bros itself! Bonus levels are unlocked only by 100%-ing everything else.
DeleteHowever, we come to expect that with the standard Mario games, and Mario Bros. U does this the best so far out of the new Marios. I prefer those large interconnected maps over smaller maps, makes you really feel like going on an adventure.
@ Shaolin Dave
Deletewhile a metrovania in that style could work, the levels would have to be very very small otherwise it'd just get tedious and annoying. Imagine playing metroid and every time you got hit you'd lose the ability to fire missiles, charge beam and later on, superbombs and all the other things needed to play the damn game.
Perhaps something like Kirby amazing mirror would be more fun. I mean if you get your powers more often and have a chance to not lose those powers when struck then the game would be much more playable.
Actually, time travel could be cool. I once thought that space wouldn't work for Mario, but I was so wrong (and proud of it). It would be awesome if Nintendo could work time travel into a platforming game.
ReplyDeleteHmm... now that I think about it, some interesting puzzles could arise from this. Imagine maneuvering through an area with two different time periods and geography, and having to jump between them to land on platforms or avoid obstacles from both worlds, as an example.
How did you miss commenting on the fact that he referred to the Tanooki Suit as the "Super Mario 3 leaf" at the 50 second mark?! Haha
ReplyDeleteActually, New Mario 2 had Raccoon Mario, not the Tanooki Suit.
DeleteActually actually, the Tanooki Leaf was in the game, just no until the bonus worlds. It was a grey leaf, as opposed to a brown one.
DeleteNo, you're thinking Super Mario 3D Land.
DeleteAnd 5 days after being posted, his review has only two ratings. Says more about GotGame than Bores, I suppose. But maybe wholesale indifference to IG is an even more apt response than our organized loathing.
ReplyDeleteThis guy does something like Irate Gamer parodies. Worth watching:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/user/Fitzthistlewits?feature=watch
A little off-topic, but Doug Walker has decided to un-retire the Nostalgia Critic and new episodes will come back starting on February 5.
ReplyDeleteI knew NC won't be on retirement for long. ;)
DeleteWait, what? When did this happen? Where?
DeleteI hope he still does Demo Reel, if this is true. I think I might be one of, like, four people who really liked that.
He announced it last night in a video.
DeleteThere will be a new video every two weeks instead of one (good) and there will be no more cut-off date. He'll be back on February 5th with a review of "The Odd Life of Timothy Green".
As for Demo Reel, it looks dead. A shame since Doug has been wanting to do Demo Reel for years. Personally, I felt he should have eased up on NC while starting up Demo Reel, then phase out NC in the process. Not "cancel one show and expect everyone to like the new one".
Yeah, same here. I liked it since the beginning, personally. I knew from the start it wasn't going to be like NC, so I guess I went in knowing that and as a result liked it more than the people expecting NC 2.0. The show really clicked for me.
DeleteDon't get me wrong, this is definitely a pleasant surprise, and I am looking forward to next month, but it's really too bad Demo Reel didn't seem to work out and dumb people complained.
I'm especially not fond of all those smug 12-year-olds over on the TGWTG forums who threw fits and spammed the board with their whining when he stopped NC who are now all "UH HUH I KNEW HE WAS COMING BACK SUCK IT :p". It really urks me...
tl;dr - I'm happy NC is coming back, but I'll still miss Demo Reel.
I guess Demo Reel flopped, I never liked it much anyways. Though I did give Doug a lot of respect for actually ending a very popular show and pursuing some new, unfortunately it didn't work out.
DeleteI just hope the slower release schedule of the new NC episodes will give him time to work on other projects and/or improve Demo Reel.
DeleteHe should've really done this from the start.
Speaking of nostalgia, Adult Swim put up Dexter's Rude Removal on Youtube, thoughts?
ReplyDeleteFrom theirategamer.com:
ReplyDelete**NEW!**
History of Video Games - "Silver Age" DVD
A detailed documentary starting from Spacewar in 1961 to the first video game crash in 1977. Irate intertwines together facts, reviews, and a dash of humor. Contains parts 1-5, a 15 minute documentary, bloopers, deleted scenes, and more!
regular price: $17.99
SALE Price: $14.99
Wow a dollar-a-minute.
DeleteIt's official Bores is Brer Rabbit!