Friday, March 15, 2013

Blob-for-Brains Talks About Green Blob While Drinking Green Blob-Like Milkshake Substitute

Shambling in like an Irish drunk, it’s a new I Rate the 80’s video! It’s a short one too so this post will probably be a quick read.

What’s he going to talk about this time? A fast food mascot. We’ve got food!
Specifically, Uncle O’Grimacey, the short-lived green Grimace used to promote McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes, a green mint-flavored shake only sold around St. Patrick’s Day. Meaning, it’s a holiday episode everyone. Joyous…

Also, if there’s a chance of him doing a terrible Irish accent, I apologize in advance to all my Irish readers. If you exist.

0:01 - 0:20: The intro plays as usual, when suddenly the “80’s” becomes “70’s”, the background goes green, and Irish music begins playing. The fuck? Didn’t see that coming! Unless I read the description before watching this. Still, this is new.

Yes, Uncle O’Grimacey was created in 1977, which is strange that he’d “change it up” since the TMNT cereal was released in 1990, and the Bud Bowl may have started in 1989 but most of the campaigns took place during the 90’s. Seems a tad inconsistent.

Also, IG has an Uncle O’Grimacey shirt.

0:20 - 0:59: We cut to an old McDonald’s commercial (don’t be too excited, I imagine the modern stock footage will be back next time) as IG gives a history lesson. Nothing too horrid so far…
He brings up one commercial for the shakes had the Grimace drinking so many that he turned green. Then we cut to IG’s TV with the commercial footage imposed on it, complete with the time code on the bottom of it. Now that just looks awkward. You couldn’t have just edited it to you watching the commercial?
In fact, that’s exactly what the next shot is. Then a badly animated Grimace with an MS Paint face floats in, KNOCKS IG HEADFIRST into the table and steals his Shamrock Shake. Jeez, that’s a bit violent. Did the Grimace scare you as a kid or something? You put him in your Resident Evil 5 video as a bad jump scare, and here you make him a violent asshole that uses mob techniques to get his milkshakes. It’s not even funny either.

Oh and IG somehow finds a shamrock on his floor. Even though they’re plants, and they grow outside. Is his floor made of grass now?

0:59 - 1:50: “Then in 1974” That’s the wrong year. I said it earlier but he was created in 1977, a few years off. Maybe that’s why Bores changed it to “I Rate the 70’s” for this episode, because he thinks it’s earlier than it really is.

He shows various commercials with the green blob monster,  then points out that “if this voice sounds familiar” and refers to a cartoon with some yellow thing in a cowboy hat. Okay, who is this? What is this character’s name? What’s the voice actor’s name? What’s this about? Explain it Chris! If you’re trying to be “educational” and make a comparative reference, it helps that you provide some names. You can’t just show this thing and expect everyone to get it, especially when it looks like it’s from the 70’s, and most of your fans were born after 1999.
You can make all the shitty Family Guy jokes you want Chris, but when you go “If this is familiar, then it’s because of this” and show a character you expect us to know without explaining it, then you fail as a reviewer! How have you been doing this for nearly six years and YOU STILL DON’T GET IT!

If someone shows a movie/TV/game clip as a response to what they’re talking about (like as a snaky comment or running gag) then that’s different.

Of course, this prompts another “character walks in joke” with that yellow thing walking in on IG and he flicks him away. Of course……..

1:51 - 2:15: IG mentions various Uncle O’Grimacey merch and lists some of it off, then he gets interrupted by Lucky the Lucky Charms Leprechaun adding his jingle to it. You mean the same Lucky Charms you claim has been ruined? This is the second main video in a row where you referenced Lucky Charms, are you trying to tell us something?

He reaches the end and note how O’Grimacey was phased out along with other McDonaldland characters, but that’s a story for another episode. I imagine it will be out the same time as that Kinnikuman Nisei episode you promised, or that Simpsons NES games review, or that Castlevania review, or that Deadly Towers review. Boy he has a lot of empty promises.

We get to his rating. He barely remembers O’Grimacey but since McDonaldland is nostalgic, it gets an “Overload”. Oh look, the same logic he applied to the TMNT cereal. “It wasn’t very good, but TMNT is awesome”. What’s odd is that he says O’Grimacey was phased out by the 80’s, and if he believes his 1974 claim, then Bores would have been… one when he disappeared.

The video ends with IG telling everyone to “Shamrock it up” and he drinks from his shake and turns green.

That was… bothersome.
When it wasn’t boring, it was wrong or vague, two of the worst things you can do as a reviewer. I’d say he slapped this together just to get something out before Sunday, but there was three bits of animated characters and knowing how lazy he is, this was probably weeks in the making. Then again, he had Shamrock Shakes in the video. Feh, I don’t know or care anymore.
This really should have been about the entirety of McDonaldland. It might have had more substance to it. Oh who am I kidding? It would have been just as bad.

At least he didn't attempt a bad Irish accent on-screen.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Has Something Finally Happened?

Holy shit! He posted a new video!
*checks* It's another contest. *eye-twitch* For his poster.
*flips table* This is ridiculous...

Remember how he said 2013 would be his year? Ha! We're in March now and he's only put out 8 videos. Only two of which I'll classify as new content. No, I'm not counting his idiotic history revision.

He mentioned that the next two videos are an I Rate the 80s and a retro review. He also goes into some crap about History of Video Games taking a long time and how the games are rare and expensive. Hang on, isn't the next episode about the Atari 2600? What's exactly so rare and expensive about that? Unless he's looking for Chase the Chuck Wagon, and I'm fairly certain he will never afford a copy of that.

Here's some stuff from my Facebook informant.

A fan asked about the side content in Skylanders Giants and what he thought about it.
IG told him he "doesn't care for sidequests". You do realize that an "in-depth" review means you go into as many details as you can right? That should include side content, otherwise it sounds like you added "in-depth" to make the video sound more important than it really is, and that the title would be a big fat lie.
He also said that the sidequests in Arkham City were "meh". Did we play the same Arkham City? That game had awesome sidequests. The Mad Hatter's tea party, finding Nora Fries, finding Azrael, confronting Hush. Did you even play the entire game?
Granted, Bores is a fraud gamer that doesn't understand how sidequests can help a game. Like Jon and Arin, he just seems to rush through as quick as possible instead of taking time to enjoy it. By the way, the Grumps have gone way downhill for a while now.

A while ago, someone asked about Action 52. IG told him that "the game doesn't have enough material". BULL! SHIT! That game is nothing BUT material! It's 52 terrible games in one! How is that "not enough"? You're lying to get out of reviewing it aren't you? Because you don't have the patience to play 52 games.

There is other stuff, but I feel those were the parts worth mentioning.

Bores better keep a close eye on his Blip account. The site is planning to do a quality cleaning and multiple channels will be taken down for not meeting their guidelines. Blip hasn't made it clear what the guidelines are yet, but everyone is watching their ass to avoid elimination.

That's all for now. Pfft, year of Irate Gamer. Yeah right.