Oh man, it’s been a while since he’s done any actual videos. The last few months has just been E3, Skylanders, and that Man of Steel vlog that I imagine didn’t take that long to put together. Also the endless news articles about random shit that most of his fans really don’t care about.
It’s been 3 months since his Star Trek review, and considering that this continues his stupid-ass storyline, it’s been 10 months since the X-Men review. Good lord… and I thought he just quit because he clearly wrote himself into a corner.
So, after all that downtime, what’s he going to review? Mighty Morphin Power Rangers for the SNES. Hold on, that’s a good game! A competently made beat-em-up developed by Natsume. Why review this?
Wait, this is continuing his storyline… OH MY GOD NO! *runs to liquor cabinet* I’m going to need all of this.
Let’s do it! *takes a swig*
0:01 - 0:44: We open on the Castle of Evil when a bad green-screen effect bursts through the roof. Actually it’s the Giant HAL-Bot, claiming he’ll “destroy destroy” as Evil Gamer, Shadow Bores and Lead HAL-Bot watch, the former two delivering their lines horribly. Apparently that 10 months off wasn’t spent improving his acting, that’s for sure. I think its actually gotten worse.
Then it cuts to… Secret Caverns (that’s what it says) where we see the two Monks. The young one says something about the plan being ready and leaves, while the old monk says it’s time to “reveal themselves”. If he’s naked under that robe, I’m leaving.
0:47 - 1:18: We cut to IG who claims he’s in a 90’s mood today so he wants to check out Power Rangers.
He starts the game and right off the bat he starts bitching about the story, saying that all we get is Rita Repulsa looking over the city while the Rangers watch. He’s mad at Bandai for dropping the ball (blame Natsume, they developed it) and that the SNES has enough room on the cartridge to fit a story in.
Oh boy, where do I begin? It doesn’t matter how much room is on the cartridge, there are SNES games with just as little story explained. Donkey Kong Country anyone? Not to mention multiple NES games with even bigger stories like all four Dragon Quests and all three Final Fantasies.
The story actually seems pretty basic. Rita Repulsa is threatening the city, go save the city Power Rangers. You know, like most episodes of the TV show? How is there no story?
1:19 - 2:01: IG gets to the character select screen and lists off the Rangers.
“The damsel in distress Kimberly” It’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure Kimberly wasn’t that much of a damsel in distress. She had her moments sure but it wasn’t her defining characteristic like say Princess Peach. I think Tommy had more moments where he needed rescuing.
He insults Billy, saying his moves look dorky (let’s see you do better), mentions Zack and when he gets to Tommy, he notices that he’s not there. He then wonders how they didn’t get him. If I had to guess, and this is going by Wikipedia, the engine is based on the Famicom tie-in to Choji Sentai Jetman, the Super Sentai series that came before Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger (the series that was used for MMPR Season 1), and since Jetman did not have a sixth ranger, they didn’t have anything to work Tommy in. Keep in mind the Rangers in the game all have different moves, so I doubt they could just copy-paste Jason and turn him green. But I’m sure there were reasons why he wasn’t there.
He brings up that the Green Ranger didn’t show up in the second or third season, he was introduced in the middle of the first season and even cites the episode number (17). Oh look, he bothered to research. Wait, why did this line remind me of Home Improvement? *thinks* Oh wait, that wasn’t IG, that was the Third Rate Gamer’s parody where he was copying the AVGN’s TMNT rant. … Son of a bitch!
He then wonders if they made the game before Tommy was introduced and they slapped it together really quickly. No, the game came out a year after Power Rangers premiered. MMPR premiered August 1993, the SNES game came out September 1994. I wouldn’t exactly call that rushed. It might have started development the same time the show premiered.
Also, if you want to play as the Green Ranger so bad, play the fighting game on the Sega Genesis. He’s in that one.
2:02 - 2:58: He starts the game, picking Jason, and notices he’s fighting in his street clothes. He claims it doesn’t make sense. Actually it does, fights often started with the Rangers fighting Putties in their street clothes and morphing when things got too hectic, like when the monster of the week showed up.
“It makes as much sense is pissing in a radiator” Toilet humor! Remind me how he doesn’t use it again?
You’ll also notice that he’s doing a poor job and is blaming the game for it. As per usual.
He gets to the boss mid-way through and morphs. Oh, just like the show. He does mention that he’s actually having fun. Are you acknowledging that this isn’t a “poorly constructed game” like you claimed and is actually pretty good?
He lists off the Ranger’s special attacks, ending on the Yellow Ranger and her electric attack, which IG didn’t understand and thinks is an “explosive fart”, complete with added sound effect. More toilet humor!
Apparently he was in an area where the lightning didn’t show up.
2:59 - 3:17: IG notes that it’s a beat-em-up and that all we’ll be doing is “fighting fighting and more fighting” and he wants some variety. Right as he says this, the Red Ranger lifts up a park bench and uses it to destroy a putty. There’s some variation in attack. Does he acknowledge it? Nope! Instead he chastises the Rangers for destroying public property and can’t wait to see that scandal on TMZ. Power Rangers destroy stuff all the time in the show, how is this any different?
Oh he said that so he could show off a fake newspaper. Not for TMZ, but for the Springfield Shopper. Huh? Wouldn’t it make more sense to call it the Angel Grove Times or whatever their newspaper was called in the show? They didn’t live in Springfield. Also in the corner is something about a mayoral race between Mayor McCheese and the Mayor from Powerpuff Girls. Mayor over what exactly? They live in two separate cities! Is Mayor McCheese trying to take over Townsville? And if this the Springfield Shopper, shouldn’t someone be running against Mayor Quimby? Why are the Power Rangers in Springfield?! Your jokes make no sense!
3:17 - 3:57: He reaches the first boss (Bones from the second episode) and takes out his first form, but starts his second form. We cut to him suffering Pac-Man Fever when- uggggggh, Ronnie has returned. Looks like we’re not rid of him.
Ronnie claims he can beat any skeleton in a video game … I’m not sure how that works but okay. So IG gives him the controller and predictably he fails. Well, that’s what happens when you play games with gloves on, and supposedly no muscles under those gloves. He is supposed to be a skeleton so I imagine his gloves hide nothing but bones. Oh dear lord, I’m trying to apply logic to his characters.
Ronnie somehow manages to pull out the entire SNES console out of the TV. Not sure how he didn’t break anything… and IG takes the console away from him and somehow reconnects it by putting it on the floor. Even though it wasn’t on the floor in previous shots, in fact I’m not sure how Ronnie managed to pull it out without it falling on the fl- FOUR MINUTES IN!
Then Ronnie leaves while saying he wants some Big League Chew. Random… and completely pointless. Oh, and we get a patented glance at the camera from Bores.
3:58 - 5:14: IG beats Bones and moves onto the second level. He complains about the large number of bad guys, comparing it to a 90’s Batman movie. Or the average episode of Power Rangers where they fight off the mooks. Are you sure you watched the show? I mean, he got Green Ranger footage and even looked up what episode Tommy first showed up in.
Also, that really doesn’t look like that many enemies. It’s only two at once. That’s nothing compared to Streets of Rage or Final Fight.
He breezes through a few levels, complaining about the obstacles in each of them. Funny how he complains yet the footage shows him easily avoiding them. It’s almost like this is a decent game and can’t find any realistic flaws.
He reaches the second boss, who he calls a Viking janitor elf. Actually, that’s Gnarly Gnome from episode five but whatever. He compares all his teleporting to Great Tiger from Punch-Out (or as he calls him “the tiger boss”), insults him and wonders how to beat him.
Then *sighs* Not-Wilson shows up out of nowhere and tells him just to punch the air, which ends up working. Despite winning, IG is not happy and yells at Not-Wilson, who gives him a fish, rather a sprite of a Cheep-Cheep. …Why? IG is annoyed and tells him to go away and throws the Cheep-Cheep at his head. Calling it, IG hitting Not-Wilson in the head with things is his running gag for him. It’s not funny of course but… someone must like it. Ugh.
Sidenote: I think Gnarly Gnome’s teleporting might be a callback to his Zyuranger counterpart DoraGoblin, who was invisible to adults unless he was wearing his shoes on the wrong feet. I am most likely wrong.
5:15 - 6:05: Onto Stage 3, where he complains you “swim around like an idiot” and then get stabbed to death “like at the YMCA”. Is that a reference to something? I thought the YMCA was considered a sort of safe place. Notice how he doesn’t try to fight the Putties when he lands, instead wasting time to pull off the Bomb attack. Oh look, the Yellow Ranger’s lightning actually showed up! Aren’t you going to acknowledge that? Nope
He reaches the boss, who he calls one of the most iconic villains in Power Rangers… but can’t figure out his name. It’s Eye Guy. All the bosses are listed on the games Wikipedia page. You can then cross check that with RangerWiki.
He points out how red Eye Guy’s final eye gets and makes a reference to the Visine commercials. Funny how Ben Stein still has more emotion than you do.
He skips over to Stage 5 where he narrowly avoids a giant blast, saying he almost got his ass blasted. Following that with “I need that for pooping”. That’s three instances of toilet humor in this video. Tell me IG fans, how does he not resort to lowbrow toilet jokes again?
Then… *tips back a drink* Tony shows up. IG wonders how everyone is getting in his house. You write them in for contrived comedy?
Actually, Tony tells him the door is open, and IG yells at him to close it and get out. Our hero, treats his imaginary friends like shit.
6:06 - 7:20: Onto Stage 6 where he gets in the Megazord, which Bores calls the “Ultra Megazord”. That’s… incorrect. The closest to an Ultra Megazord in the first season was the Ultrazord, a combination of the Megazord, the Dragonzord, and Titanus.
IG fights the boss (Mutitus from Episodes 28 and 29, RangerWiki is so great) and he starts gushing since this is like the show, but he starts losing (because he sucks of course) and complains that “this isn’t how it goes in the show”. You do realize that the Rangers don’t always win when they summon the Megazord right? Since this is a video game though, it’s all your fault.
After he loses, he poorly throws his controller through a wall. Dear lord, not only is the acting bad, the effects are horrid. It’s like he didn’t give a shit. More so than usual.
He makes it to the final boss (Cyclopsis from the intended finale Doomsday), beats the first form, then gets pissed that it has a second form, comparing it to DBZ. You act like the final boss having a second form is a rare thing. It’s one of the most common tropes in gaming. RPGs are mocked for having it!
He dies to his second form, and throws another controller through the wall. Same bad acting and effect, then a random appearance of Kool-Aid Man peeking in and claiming he didn’t do it. Oh look, he can say more words. It’s almost like Chris bothered to watch the commercials.
He does manage to beat Cyclopsis (probably through Game Genie) and gets pissed that the ending is nothing more than the Rangers driving back to the soda shop (you mean Youth Center right) and watching Zack dance. Like how most episodes end? Most of them end with the Rangers going to the youth center and whatever conflict was going on earlier is resolved through character moments or Bulk & Skull getting humiliated. Hey there’s Bulk & Skull in the game! Aren’t you going to address them? Nope!
Of course he complains that it’s a bad ending, noting that Zack fight his way through the game and calls it a “Dancing with the Stars audition” You’re really fishing hard for complaints huh?
The video ends with him getting ready to destroy the cartridge when his TV somehow switches inputs and broadcasts an emergency news bulletin with- REALLY? Johnny Newscaster again? Jeez…
He’s reporting the Giant HAL-bot attacking the city and… wow these effects are shameful. Toei should take this and show it to rookie Sentai prop designers on how NOT to destroy buildings. The way he’s destroying them is by pushing them and the image of the building is tipping over. These effects are bad even by his standards. Good lord. And the city is all one image and nothing is right and… how much longer?
Oh yeah, the Giant HAL-bot is telling everyone to surrender to the Shadow Overlord.
Then the X-Men show up, yeah the same ones from the last video. And to pad for time, they do the exact same roll call. Was this really necessary? Did you think we’d forget who these characters are? I know it’s been 10 months but we’re not that dumb! Also, didn’t Cyclops and Iceman die? How are they back? Don’t say “it’s comic books” because those give explanations. They don’t just show up out of thin air.
Predictably, the Giant HAL-bot crushes the X-Men. Apparently, he wears gym shoes. Really Chris? You’re wearing a full body costume and you had to put on shoes?
Not Kent Brockman gladly surrenders himself to the Shadow Overlord, and the picture in the corner changes to say he sold out. You do realize there’s a difference between surrender and selling out, right?
IG sees the dead X-Men, and comments that he really dug Storm. WHAT? After you said she was terrible in MvC3 and treated her like shit in the X-Men video? Is this an author’s saving throw to deter the criticism that you’re a sexist pig?
Then the young monk shows up and says he’s going to take IG to see his friends. Silly monk, don’t you know IG doesn’t have any real friends? He said so himself.
To be Continued…. Probably in 6 months.
*massages temples* Oooh, this review gave me a damn headache, and no that’s not a Power Rangers reference, it actually did hurt my head.
The review was by far one of his worst. It doesn’t help that MMPR on SNES is actually a decent game with great controls and music. Nothing about those here. Just bitching and moaning about the most meaningless of stuff. Also, Chris somehow sucked at the game, when it looks really damn easy. Was he doing it on purpose again?
The story parts, it just gets worse and worse. Even by his standards, the acting and effects were beyond atrocious. Nothing makes sense and this feels like a big pile of nothing. I just know the next episode is going to blow ass.
My informant noticed someone in the comments say he needs to get more actors, and Bores told him “That’s part of the charm” … In what world? Sane people would call that a FLAW. You can’t possibly be this crazy. Find some fucking people to help you egotistical hack!
*sighs* That’s all for now. I’m going to go watch some Sentai and clear my mind. Fucking hell.
Oh, here's Bulk & Skull's theme because it easily goes with IG's videos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jwup4ItqyNQ