Still trying to work out how this will work. Maybe if Bores was more specific on what he released then I would be able to work around that. Like, every Friday will be a main video or something. Sadly, all we get is “Monday, Wednesday and Friday”. Thus, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe he’s still paranoid that James will “steal his ideas”. What a bunch of crap.
Anyway, the March 23rd video is Chris Bores’ first attempt at doing a Let’s Play. Something he probably should have done YEARS ago. Strange how he accused James of being a PewDiePie rip-off in his “opening up” video, yet here he is doing the exact same thing he decried James for. The hypocrisy just doesn’t stop with you does it?
Since this is a Let’s Play video, I’m not going to do the usual beat by beat recap. Instead I’ll just be posting what I consider the “highlights”. It’s short, only 11 minutes long, but I took a quick look and… not much really happens.
So, what game will Bores do for his first ever Let’s Play? DuckTales. Again? Are weekly DuckTales videos just going to be a thing now? That seems like a bizarre niche.
Also, he titles the video “Ducktales NES Lets Play Video Game Review”. But didn’t you just review the game? How is this also a review? No, this is more of his bad habit of calling things that aren’t reviews “reviews”. Like his E3 previews.
- His reason for doing a Let’s Play. “A lot of things get lost when trying to condense it down to a 7 minute video” Then why is the video only 11 minutes long? You sound like you’re planning to show the whole game, but I know you’re not skilled enough to speed run it.
Something something “show you how I play”. This will hurt.
- Of course there’s face cam.
- HE’S PLAYING ON EASY! Oh wow! That Third Rate Gamer joke just became a lot more real. Also, to anyone that says he’s bad on purpose as “part of the act”, this proves you wrong!
- He attempts to explain how Capcom made all the Disney games at the time, starting with Mickey Mousecapade, or rather he forgets what the game is called and ACTUALLY PAUSES THE GAME TO FIND THE CARTRIDGE! Why?! Why would you show this?! This should have been edited out!
- He claims he played Mickey Mousecapade and wants to review it because it’s “an interesting game” and mentions how he couldn’t beat the final boss. … Seriously? I looked it up and the final boss is easy. All Maleficent does is shoot in the same straight line, you just jump and shoot her and win. All about timing… are you that incompetent when it comes to timing?
- “But we’re talking about DuckTales” This should have been edited out!
- He keeps going on about how Capcom made the other Disney games, he’s unsure if they worked on TailSpin. They did, they made the NES version. There was also a Genesis and TG-16 version published by Sega and NEC respectively. You could edit lines of text in post to correct yourself, like a lot of other good Let’s Players… but apparently that’s too much work.
- He reaches the bee area in the Amazon. He says he knows he bashed the game in the review, but that was only for “comedic purposes”, and starts claiming the bee area “isn’t that hard”. As he says this, he gets hit. Smoooooth.
- Apparently, Bores believe he can only make a funny review if he’s bashing the game. Noooo, you can make funny reviews without bashing everything. It’s hard work yes, but it’s rewarding. Hell, you don’t have to be “funny” all the time. If you’re talking about a good game, and find a joke opportunity, then use that. Don’t try to make a game look worse than it is because you don’t have any ideas. It only showcases how much of a hack Bores really is.
- He ends up dying because of his own stupidity… and resets the game. Claiming he wants to show the other levels. Wow, he really doesn’t know how Let’s Plays work. This is terrible.
- He goes to Translyvania, which he reiterates is his favorite level because “paranormal!”
- He mentions that NPCs in games “back then” were “really cool” because you didn’t see them often. Maybe if you played Dragon Qu- er Warrior, or Final Fantasy. Those were loaded with NPCs.
Oh… his reasoning is actually because licensed games weren’t faithful, but this was. … This is so dumb.
- Whoa, there is editing! … Then why didn’t you edit out those earlier parts?!
- He mentions the Remastered version, said it’s good and hopes they do the sequel. *looks at Capcom* Pfffffft
- There’s a long stretch where Bores barely says anything, and he really sounds bored through the whole thing. Eventually he gives up on Transylvania and just resets again. He doesn’t even die. At least try to beat the level!
- He goes to the African Mines, with some thrilling commentary. “So here we are at the African Mines…” *pause* “So here we are at the African Mines…” I am not kidding, he pauses then repeats himself. Am I having a fever dream?
- He brings up that “multitasking is hard” because he’s trying to talk to the camera as well. … Pretend the camera’s not there. The whole point of face cam is reactions, sure they talk to the audience beforehand, but during actual gameplay they almost never look at the camera. How are you getting this so wrong?
- He brags that he used to be able to tell you where everything was in this game. Oh please, you didn’t start playing this game until you bought your NES in 2006, and even then you probably didn’t play it for a few years.
He says the same thing for Legend of Zelda, how he used to know where everything was. No you didn’t.
- He dies thanks to bad timing and restarts. Even on Easy, he’s terrible at this.
- He skips the Himalayas claiming he has “nothing to talk about”. I wish Slowbeef still riffed bad Let’s Players…
- He heads to The Moon, and goes on about how iconic the level is, and how everyone remembers the iconic music. THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU BRING IT UP IN THE REVIEW?!
If someone tries to claim “because everyone remembers it”, that is a bad excuse. It leaves the review incomplete to leave out something like that.
- He mentions the spikes on the spaceship’s ceiling, which he left out of his review, and keeps hitting them and eventually dies. Again, this is on Easy.
- “I remember back in the day I used to beat this game all the time” Oh shut up, you are so full of shit.
- Another thing he didn’t mention in his review was how Dracula Duck reminded him of the cartoon Count Duckula. He doesn’t really expand on that. Then tries to brag about his “obscure” reference by saying “Guys growing up in the 80’s will understand that reference”. What do you want, a Ninja Turtles cookie? A Captain America GIF?
- He dies again, but surprisingly he doesn’t reset. Instead he edits to a later point when he gets to the pit with the space ducks.
“In my review, I made the same mistake in this stupid game” … Don’t call games you like “stupid”, it delivers the wrong idea.
- He dies… and that’s essentially the end of the video.
This video… was about what I expected a Chris Bores Let’s Play to be like. Terrible gameplay, and barely any commentary.
He sounded so bored through the entire thing. That’s not a good way to engage your audience.
Most of his commentary was "I remember playing this as a kid", he says it so many times in so many different ways. We get it, you want to cast the illusion that you played this a long time ago, but we know otherwise.
If you have so much trouble multi-tasking, don’t do face cam. I know that’s the big thing, but a lot of good Let’s Players don’t do that.
Also, leaving in crap like pausing the game to find Mickey Mousecapade, that shit needs to go.
I know your ego won’t allow it, but you need other people to play off of. You might actually get a laugh. Otherwise, it’s just Boring Bores droning on and on and on and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
We shall see what Wednesday brings.