Saturday, March 14, 2015

DuckTales Review: About as Fun as Actually Diving Into a Pool of Gold Coins

Ha! It’s Saturday and Chris didn’t post anything new yesterday! First week and he couldn’t even keep his promise. Chris can never commit to anything can- *gets message from informant* A Facebook update?
*reads* Apparently, he was just having YouTube issues as it took forever to upload. It’s up now. Also the post references Kirby because of his belief that “if me not reference games, people not think me gamer”, even though the random references make him sound more like a poser than anything.

So, what was the intended Friday video? An actual Irate Gamer episode. That was fast. I kind of figured after he posted that teaser video, it would be at least two weeks before he said anything about the returning episode.
After 11 months, what game has he decided to return with? DuckTales on NES. … HOLD IT!
Are you serious? DuckTales is one of the most beloved NES games of all time. It’s one of the standard counterpoints to “every licensed game is bad”. When the Remastered version from Wayforward was announced, people were overjoyed, but also fearful that they could ruin this game (which they didn’t).
Oh god, this is going to be like Contra and Aladdin all over again isn’t it?

Alright, let’s check out the “Season 5” premiere.

*takes a look at the description*
“Reviews are always filled with tons of jokes and skits.” … This is going to hurt.

Theme song: Nothing much has changed here. He still uses that same TMNT Arcade clip. He added a shot of the “team” in the Megazord, and his name is accompanied by an explosion now. For someone that hates Michael Bay… eh I’ve done this joke before.

0:17 - 1:27: IG’s justification for reviewing this game? The new show coming in two years. Or you could not review it because it’s actually a good game.
Of course he pulls the “it’s a classic that I played as a kid” card. Yeah, that didn’t save you with Contra, it’s not going to save you here.
He mentions the stages can be played in any order.
He starts on the Amazon. He lists off the enemies, and mentions how the bees can knock you off small platforms. Causing him to die already.
“This game just started and you want me to get irate already?” I’m placing this up there as one of the most forced lines he’s ever spoken. You could just feel the awkwardness hit you after he finishes it.

He runs into Launchpad who offers him a ride back to the mansion. IG complains that he’s busy trying to finish the level and calls him a clueless idiot. I really don’t understand his issue with Launchpad.
Also, he’s there to take you back in case you revisit the level after you beat it. You can do that in this game. I know you’re like DSP in that you refuse to go 100% and just scrub through games as fast as possible for money, but you’re trying to review it here. Show a bit of effort.
After leaving Launchpad, the giant boulder attacks him. He plays the Indiana Jones theme (YAY more copyrighted content that he’ll be too lazy to remove from the DVD!) and oh wow his gameplay is terrible. He just runs into the vines and doesn’t try to bounce on them. Causing the boulder to hit him. This is met with IG’s fake “AAGH” screaming while he “Winter Games” the controller to death. WHY DO YOU STILL DO THAT? Learn to press buttons properly!

1:27 - 2:57: Afterwards, he runs into the statue where he has to pay $300,000 to get out of the room. This leads to a very pointless Star Trek reference. What does Star Trek have to do with DuckTales? ……… FAMILY GUUUUUUUUUY!
His Star Trek V reference fails, leading to some pointless editing where the statue turns red and yells at him. Bores, you can easily get out of this room by pogo-ing off the native (which is in the footage) and reaching the vine above. Can you not see the vine?
But no, he returns to the hub mansion and goes back to collect the money all over again. With more terrible gameplay as he runs into every enemy, not even trying to avoid them.
He reaches the statue again, and tries to pay despite clearly not having enough money. He asked for $300,000, and IG has $274,000. Oh and surprise surprise, Bores figures out you can get out pogo-ing off the native’s head. THIS WAS A WASTE OF TIME!

Of course this means “anger” from IG as he backtracked from the beginning for nothing. You know, for someone that supposedly “played” this game as a kid, you really don’t seem to understand how it works.
This leads to a long string of bleeped cursing. It’s not funny when you regularly curse uncensored, it’s only funny when there’s minimal cursing and it comes out of nowhere. If you’re meant to be “angry” and you have to censor yourself, you’re doing it wrong.
There’s an edit where Scrooge and Dewey’s eyes widen at the cursing, then IG goes back to the statue room and “destroys” it by pogo-ing on it with editing tricks. Notice how the timer goes 331 330 331 330 331 330. Of course it dies in a fake explosion.

2:58 - 3:37: He brings up that Dewey gives a tip, that using the cane can kill the boss. He sarcastically tells off the fact that the game needs to tell people that the cane can be used as a weapon. Considering how dumb people are when they play games, this doesn’t surprise me. Remember Chris, you couldn’t figure out that you can shoot straight in Home Improvement, oh and just now you couldn’t figure out that pogo-ing off the native’s head would bypass the statue!
He defeats the Amazon boss and gets the treasure. IG calls it the sceptre from Super Mario Bros 3. First off, it looks nothing like the sceptre from Super Mario Bros 3. Second, it’s actually called the Sceptre of the Incan King.
Oh that was only to lead to a pointless joke where Scrooge falls from the level a/la Super Mario Bros 3 and lands in the king’s throne room. The sprite work is dreadful, Scrooge looks blurry edited into the completely different game. People call this quality?

3:38 - 4:52: He heads to Transylvania next.
He likes all the “trick” things like the teleporting mirrors and fake walls. He calls the mine cart wheels “trick rims” cause of how they spin. … Is this an attempt at appealing to young people? I don’t think young people even care about “rims” these days. Either way, it wasn’t funny.
It’s his favorite level because it reminds him of Castlevania, he likes the enemies, and makes a terrible “marriage” joke with the mummies having ball & chains attached to their ankles. If this was a comedy club, I’d be booing.
He runs into Webby, who tells him that Huey has been kidnapped. He notes that he already found Dewey, but then this launches into another “joke” where he lists off a bunch of fake nephews, ending on “Chop Suey”, which is just a picture of a can of La Choy chop suey (can they sue if this is on the DVD?). Uggggggggh, this is pain. WHAT IS THE JOKE IN THIS?
Not to mention, this is only the second level he visited, and he’s splicing in the fake nephews in the other three he hasn’t gone to.
And like the “Scrooge in Mario 3” scene, the fake nephews are just as blurry. Why is the sprite work so bad this time around?

He finds Huey being held hostage by a Beagle Boy, and he kills him in one shot.
“Well that was anticlimatic” CLI-MAC-TIC! There’s a “ka” sound in the middle!
He brings up that the Beagle Boy respawns and he doesn’t bother saving Huey again, calling him a “loser”. How nice.
He reaches the boss, Magica De Spell, IG calls her “Scrooge’s most infamous enemy”. I thought that was Flintheart Glomgold? You know, the rich duck that’s more of an asshole than Scrooge?

4:53 - 5:27: He heads to the African Mines next, but can’t progress because he needs the key in Transylvania. Probably should have explored the level a bit more Chris.
He finds the key and goes back, goes through a bit, finds a secret wall that he calls “something out of Super Mario Bros”. He adds text saying “Welcome to Warp Zone!” in case people didn’t get it.
He runs into Mrs. Beakley who drops health-restoring ice cream, which IG calls “making it rain”. Leading to Bores overlaying “rap sounding music” and exclaiming “Yeah baby give me those snacky cakes!” …. Urrrrgh. How much longer?

5:27 - 6:12: He notes that the African Mines level has two routes to the boss. One being a shortcut that involves pogo-ing on enemies. Well, the same is true for the Amazon level. You can actually bypass the statue entirely and find a warp right to the boss. Just saying…
It’s kind of weird how he was acting clueless before, but then brings up this shortcut like he knew all along. You can’t have it both ways Chris.
After he beats the boss, he heads to the Himalayas (with a pointless snow effect). He notes the snow effecting his pogo-ing, complains about the spiders (be patient and pogo them when they’re down, don’t run into them), and complains about Launchpad some more. Seriously, what is your issue with him? He’s just there to take you back in case you revisit this level AFTER YOU BEAT THE BOSS! This is getting redundant.
“Not scalivant all over the world with you” Is that even a word? I believe you mean “gallivant”

6:12 - 6:49: Apparently he hates Launchpad so much, he wants to “get off world”, this bad segue leading into The Moon.
He explains the objective (finding the key and the remote for Gizmoduck) but he keeps dying. Both times shown being entirely his fault. Gid gud m8.
He finally reaches the wall that Gizmoduck destroys and defeats the giant rat boss. IG doesn’t understand why the green cheese treasure has any value. Look up “The Moon is made of green cheese” to understand why this has value.

6:50 - 7:52: He reaches the end where all the treasures are stolen and he has to get them back. The final level being a revisit of Transylvania, which angers IG because they’re recycling stuff. Fine, but his next point is dumber. He complains that the final boss isn’t a recognizable character, but an original one called Dracula Duck. Why is this a problem now? The only boss in the game that’s from the show is Magica De Spell, all the others are original.
EDIT: Turns out that there's another boss from the show. The African Mines boss is the Terra-Firmie King from the episode "Earth Quack". Thank you John Pannozzi for this info. Either way, 4 out of 6 bosses are original.
By the way, he leads into his point about the final boss with a “YOU THINK THAT’S BAD?” … Yeaaaaaaaah…..
He complains that Dracula Duck takes too long to kill as he takes too long to release the bats needed to gain height to pogo his head. He showcases this by recycling the same clip. Seriously, watch the timer in the corner. It resets after it cuts away to him. Why am I thinking of Super Mario Bros. 2 all of a sudden?

The video ends with Bores defeating Dracula Duck and learning that Magica De Spell and Flintheart Glomgold were behind it all. He wins the game, and complains about the ending where Scrooge congratulates the Nephews and brings up Dewey’s tip from the Amazon again. Why does THAT of all things bother you? It really feels like he was fishing for complaints.
He says “to hell with this game” and calls for Launchpad… huh? Then the NES Launchpad sprites flies in, Bores grabs onto his rope and they leave… dumb.
Also, Launchpad calls him “Mr. McG”. Huh? I know he called Scrooge “Mr. McD”, but that’s because his name was McDuck. Why “McG?” As in McGamer? That’s stupid! Why not just Mr. B, or if you’re so dedicated to “Gamer’ being your name, Mr. G. Don’t be stupid Chris.
Oh it’s not completely over. There’s another bit where IG and Launchpad are in the clouds and IG asks where he’s taking him. … Jokes? Hello?

Good lord was that awful!
Bores has not improved in the slightest. If anything he might be worse.
The jokes made no sense at all. Everything was fucking random, or a pointless reference. Why did we need a Star Trek V reference of all things?
The review aspect might have been worse. So much god damn reaching for flaws. Who cares if Dracula Duck isn’t from the show? Any problems with the “difficulty” is all on you Chris, this game is fairly easy. The closest he has to a point is recycling Transylvania for the last level. Something that the Remastered version fixed.
At no point does he mention the music, one of the best parts of the game. How do you review DuckTales and NOT bring up the music?
This is an insult to the game, and the DuckTales franchise in general.

Can’t wait to see what stupid shit Bores has planned for Monday.

107 comments:

  1. Does no one remember the Monster Episode of Duck Tales?

    Technically Drakula Duck is from the show. He just wasn't technically a bad guy.

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    1. Yeah, that's a bit of a stretch. I wouldn't say it's the same Dracula Duck from that episode.

      Delete
    2. He also wasn't called Dracula Duck, he was called Count Drake-ula.

      Delete
    3. Also, the Himalayan boss is a Yeti, and there was a Yeti in an episode of DuckTales. The episode in question was "Lost Crown of Genghis Khan" (based on the Carl Barks story of the same name), and the treasure you collect at the end of the Himalayan stage is the crown of Genghis Khan, so maybe it's meant to be the same Yeti. Even though the Yeti in that episode wasn't a bad guy and was actually female, though in the DuckTales Remastered game, they retconned so the Yeti in the game was also female. I don't know.

      Delete
    4. No it isn't possibly the same one however to complain that it isn't from the show is a real stretch. The Africa Mines level is the Terra Firma King too. So not only is the game a true tie in to the show it is also an excellent platform with tons of deployability because of the ability to explore that is built into the level.

      As far as the hidden rooms etc go to claim it is ripping off any other game is not only a forced complaint it doesn't make sense considering the treasure hunting nature of Duck Tales in general! Of course there is hidden stuff that you have to find! In order to get the best ending taking advantage of Launchpad to go back mid level is almost required.

      As far as complaining about Launchpad, that is the definition of being a snob because he was one of the aspects of the show that gave it an identity of its own apart from the comics. Does that make it worse then the comics, no, in fact Harley Quinn would like to have a long talk with you about that!

      For showing off the comic itself, in hand, was that a take that to Linkara for not having the Youngblood comic in hand when he filmed that episode?

      Delete
  2. I just notices, he seems to be playing a badly emulated version of the game, in the part when he get's hit by the birds, there's an odd sound, also the game footage looks pretty bad.

    Hey chrisy, did you know that there are better emus than Nesticle or RockNES?

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  3. I really think that Crisbo is trying way too hard to enforce his "All licensed games are bad" creed.

    Also, it's no wonder the Dracula Duck part reminds you of his Super Mario Bros 2 review. He's still trying to misrepresent the games he plays. What a jerk!
    >.<#

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  4. How much you wanna bet that the swine gaede will not bother to do a RaR on this even if his asked because, Bores is mah best buddie now!

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    1. He'd probably go after this blog again, knowing him.

      But I wonder, what did Bores do to get Gaede to butt-kiss him like that?
      o_o

      Delete
    2. Probably the "e-begging spoof" he made around the time of the Cheetahmen II Kickstarter controversy... and not realizing James Rolfe, Pat Contri, and the Game Chasers were not getting ANY money from the project-- they were only in the video to promote it.

      2.5 years later, and people still fall for Gaede and Bores' crap.

      BTW, I think James (and Derek's) reviews of DuckTales were FAR better. :-)

      Delete
    3. That probably also explains why he pussied out on RAR 23 and didn't even go through the whole Monster Party review.

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    4. Okay. I have to ask since I'm not all up to date on this drama? Who is Gaede?

      Also I planned on retiring from IG videos seeing as he supposedly retired. But now that he's back and people are still being misinformed by this crap I guess I gotta make some more videos on him. Namely his hypocrisy in criticizing AVGN for rigging a contest when he does the same exact thing.

      Delete
    5. Might also point out that calling people swine and such doesn't really do that much good. I mean put all this into perspective. It is Internet drama after all.

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    6. "Gaede" would be Eric Gaede, aka Asalieri. Trust me, when you look at his videos, you're gonna hate this guy. A lot.

      Delete
    7. @Mark Jones

      I highly recommend you watching the videos when people do commentaries on him first, because specially in his earlier videos, he quote mines and misrepresents A LOT.

      Delete
    8. Didn't Asalieri review shitty game reviews? What exactly happened to the guy that made his name so toxic?

      Delete
    9. Lasersquad's blog has everything you need to know, here's a handy link.

      https://batdansucks.wordpress.com/tag/eric-gaede/

      WARNING: These articles are large and very detailed, I suggest starting at the blog post located at the very bottom, and work your way up.

      You can also look up his Encyclopedia Dramatica article, though I tend to avoid that place (Can only take so much NSFW before I hurl).

      Delete
    10. Bleh, forgot the hyperlink tags link

      Delete
  5. I played this game myself, and holy shit it kicked ass :) shame on Bores for picking on such a great game >:(

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  6. I was worried that a near year of laziness would actually allow him to see his faults and improve. It's a good thing to see that he's still the arrogant, ignorant, hypocritical human piece if fucking shit we all know and hate. It's great to have you back Chris.

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    1. Eh. Same thing. Read what I said ^. Chris is arrogant. Yes. Hypocritical absolutely. But piece of shit? Come on man. We all do dumb crap every now and then. Chris has done a lot of stupid stuff on YouTube and I think his content very much sucks. But it isn't like he's actually tried to harm anybody. A rapist is a POS. A murderer is a POS. But a hypocritical game reviewer with stupid content I wouldn't classify as that. Let's be realistic and blunt but also civil.

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    2. So the "opening up" video that was filled with 100% lies and slander about James with no evidence isn't trying to harm someone in any form?

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    3. @Mark Jomes

      " We all do dumb crap every now and then. Chris has done a lot of stupid stuff on YouTube and I think his content very much sucks. But it isn't like he's actually tried to harm anybody. A rapist is a POS. A murderer is a POS. But a hypocritical game reviewer with stupid content I wouldn't classify as that. Let's be realistic and blunt but also civil."

      Ehem......

      http://irategamersucks.blogspot.mx/2014/04/something-i-feel-needs-to-be-addressed.html

      http://irategamersucks.blogspot.mx/2015/03/new-low-chris-profits-and-promotes.html
      .

      Delete
  7. Wonder if the Archfiend is still going to white knight Bores in the comments. He's done very often in his previous videos.

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    1. I saw that guys video and I agreed with him up till he started ripping on AVGN a for making money off of merchandised items and the indiegogo campaign.

      It's capitalism. No one is forcing anyone to do anything.

      Deal with it.

      Delete
    2. Meant to say autographed items not merchandised.

      But seriously he couldn't point out anything morally wrong with that at all. Cause there's nothing wrong with that.

      All these anti profit people should move to North Korea. Wouldn't be missed.

      Delete
  8. You know, he could have had Launchpad call him IG. like how he called Darkwing DW. Of course, that would be if he ever saw Darkwing Duck...And he better stay away from that game!

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    1. Third Rate Gamer was probably right about how much of a "fan" Bores really is of the shows he claims to have liked.

      "And by 'being a huge fan' I mean I remember seeing an episode or two twenty years ago."

      Delete
    2. It's way worse when he basically acts like one of those snobs that only like the original source material and hates any changes made to it. Seriously, he acts like the cartoon is flawed because of Launchpad. Despite the fact that apparently a lot of the stories are taken straight from the comics...

      Delete
  9. This is what happens when Accentuate the Negative is your only shtick.

    Anyone who says it rings true for AVGN (because someone will), consider the Zelda 2 review.

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  10. Okay, I have a lot to say about this episode.

    Man, does Bores come off as incredibly awkward at the start of this episode. When he says "NES", he looks crazily twitchy.

    Man, is Chris not trying when it comes to facing the bees. The bees in this game never gave me THAT much trouble.

    About the fake nephews thing, there actually is a fourth nephew named "Phooey"...sort of... (too bad Bores had him in pink instead of yellow) :
    http://users.cwnet.com/xephyr/rich/dzone/hoozoo/phooey.html

    Weird that he claims beating the African Mines level sends you to the Himalayas level, when he already you can play the levels in any order.

    Here's a correction: the boss of the African Mines level is actually the Terra-Firmie King, from the DuckTales episode "Earth Quack" (which in turn was adapted from the Carl Barks story "Land Beneath the Ground!):

    http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Terra-Firmie_King

    http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Terries_and_Fermies

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  11. Gotta give Bores credit for at least releasing an IG video in a timely fashion. I thought it would be 2 months before we even hear he is working on the new episode. His promise to release videos on a bi daily basis is going to bite him in the as s though as he is already having difficulty with that rigorous of a schedule. Even James can't get content out that quick.

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  12. Interesting to see him try to trash on such a good game. His complaints seemed to be very minor annoyances at the games mechanics. They aren't even bad mechanics! Seriously Chris what are you complaining about? This Is why I hate the 'angry reviewing' craze. At least from my limited experience with AVGN a videos he seems to go after actually sucky games. But again my experience there is limited. I prefer reviewers like LGR who are actually informative with entertainment thrown in there. If Chris is going to continue this kind of content he needs to stop calling it a review.

    The whole purpose of a review is to be informative with entertainment being a secondary objective. Videos like this intentionally paint a relatively excellent game in a misleadingly negative light for the sake of nothing more than a laugh. That's gives reviewers a bad name.

    Chris Bores needs to change his whole mentality. This mindset of jokes first fakes (if any) later results in crap like slowing down game footage in Mario 2 or entire reviews like this.

    But not all the fault goes to Chris. Viewers. Stop supporting this crap. Please bring standards back to the game review genre. It desperately needs them. I can't think of a more dishonest media outlet than video game reviews these days. And Chris does nothing but contribute to it. And just like large video game press sites he's motivated by money. What else.

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    1. Facts not fakes. I swear. iPhones destroy you're ability to type. Auto correct has babied us for so long.

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    2. There's a way to disable Auto-Correction. Go to the Settings app and go to General, then Keyboard. You'll find the switch to enable or disable Auto-Correction, among other settings.

      Delete
    3. If you think about it, Bores is kind of trapped when it comes to picking games to review. On the one hand, he can pick legendarily awful games that even someone at his skill level can find something to complain about (like, oh, X-Men). But by that same token have probably been picked to death already and there's nothing left to say about them.

      Or he could pick on a decent-to-good game and either play like a dumbass or make shit up for the sake of having things to complain about. As someone who did snarky reviews as hobby for a while himself, I found it was really about finding something that lends itself well to mockery. Forcing it very easy to spot.

      And bullshit that Ducktales didn't stand the test of time. I watch it these days, I get all kinds of jokes and references I never did when I was 8.

      Delete
  13. Bet you Darkwing Duck is next, another great Disney Capcom game he's going to bash for stupid reasons.

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    1. I think that's what the end of the review is setting up: Launchpad is taking IG to Saint Canard, because he's in both shows.

      Delete
  14. A new comment from Ladybuggin777 appears:

    "I had to LOL at the latest comment BatDanNight made on his rag blog:
    "I do it to protect the innocent." I think it's more like he does it to exploit the innocent children that comment on his rag blog. He fills their heads with garbage in and out comes their garbage out. Poor little sheeples type their accusations for the whole world to see their mentally challenged remarks. I feel very sorry for those poor kids as Batty has done so much more harm to innocent children than the claims he accuses IG of committing. Oh the injustice of it all ~ Welcome Back Irate Gamer, it's been way to long!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Chris Bores impersonates his own mother on the internet, do you think it's possible he was making shit up about his sick father to garner sympathy and make an (weak) excuse for not posting videos? Even if his father really was sick, it still makes his disrespect for the dead (Justin Carmical and Leonard Nimoy) even less excusable since his father was so near death.

      Delete
    2. Does LadyBuggin "have to LOL" about her son working for people who make lactation and rape/snuff fantasy porn?

      Delete
  15. I've noticed that his acting is even worse than ever before as well. How is this even possible?

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  16. I just love how the joke on "Jewey" the duck has him wearing an orange prisoner uniform.

    Real classy there Chris.

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    Replies
    1. And here I was thinking a Jewish skeleton fixing a gas leak (and subsequently insinuating that his services wouldn't be cheap) was on the nose.

      Delete
  17. For those who are interested, there were two books collecting of all the Carl Barks stories that were directly adapted into episodes of DuckTales. Turns out that 12 out of DuckTales' 100 episodes were adapted from Barks's stories, which is actually over 10% of the series, interestingly enough.

    Here are the books: http://comicbookdb.com/title.php?ID=14567

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    Replies
    1. And the books have editorial content comparing the comics to their animated adaptations, as well as (in the first volume), an essay about the series.

      Delete
  18. So, add this to yet another good game Chris has managed to anger me by bashing (other notable ones being the TMNT II Arcade and Genesis MMPR games). I must also note his editing on the bleeped cursing was very shoddy as some of the swears weren't even successfully bleeped. Given how he dropped the ball on the schedule from the word go; I can expect another schedule slip. I doubt another IG episode will be out right away; probably another Crap Team or 80s video. I must also note the subscribers from that "opening up" video are not really translating into views, as the ones on this duck dropping are just barely beating out the LED light review and that monetized "Tribute" to Leonard Nimoy. Be seeing you, Dan.

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  19. With Irate Gamer making regular reviews now, I hope Third Rate Gamer makes a comeback.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Irate Gamer just posted a video on Amiibos. 4 videos into the promise and we already have what is basically a fucking Skylanders video (I know that Amiibos are actually good though). Also, I bet he was lying about "getting a lot of requests" to review these things. He always does (or I should say "did" since he hasn't posted one in forever) in the IG Neo videos.

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    1. I'm already offended at having seen it pop up on my feed. I have enough people bagging me for buying them.

      Delete
    2. Eh, it was bound to be stuff like that - even simpler channels can have a hard time creating content for multiple days in a week. Despite the SUBJECT of the content, I applaud that he's so far sticking to the promise. However, given his past work ethic, I'm suspicious on whether he'll be able to STICK to that M-W-F thing for very long.

      Delete
    3. I see 3 possibilities as to what he could most likely do for the MWF videos at this point:

      1. Continue Skylanders shit like this and thus continue to receive hate (the problem I see with him doing the Amiibos is that they've been popular for months now, so everyone knows what they are; but then again, Bores doesn't give a shit about how late things are, like the God of War 3 review).

      2. He actually resorts to doing half-assed video compilations of his shit that he already made, though he may not have enough footage to do those and he may not even be intelligent enough to think of that idea.

      3. He actually does Let's Plays of any game at all, but there are so many damn Let's Play channels nowadays and, again, he is too dumb to think of doing that.

      Actually, I take back 2 and 3. He WILL keep doing Number 1 only. He's going to fuck himself with this MWF promise.

      P.S. Did you see the asinine and hypocritical thing Bores tweeted about the Ghostbusters reboot? Also, how's the AT4W movie going?

      Delete
    4. Oh, but watch the Amiibos video. It's more than just another iteration of his usual Skylanders stuff. A little more than 4 minutes in he actually asks viewers to send him rare Amiibos. Since he "jumped on the Amiibo bandwagon a little late" (no shit), he needs help filling out his collection. I guess he noticed that AH Ray has no trouble finding Amiibos and guess that a loving fanbase is the answer to his dilemma. In response he can mention your name or plug your boring Minecraft channel or something. (For the record, I've never noticed Ray ask for Amiibos or anything like that. His fans do it unasked because they are happy and entertained). If I somebody sends him Ike, I will lose my shit. Guaranteed he's never even had a passing glance at any sort of Fire Emblem game.

      By the way, on the subject of those "holes in his collection" that he laments, where are Link? Zelda? Samus? If he really needs to add to his collection so urgently, the only thing stopping him from adding those is about $13 each. I can understand that if he's late to the party he won't have Marth or Rosalina or even Sheik, but he doesn't have Luigi? If you can find a Best Buy, then you've found 20 of Luigi.

      Other than that, then yeah it's "Skylanders Skylanders Skylanders, totally like Skylanders everybody," which I guess it's to be expected that he compares with what he knows. Plenty of the usual incorrect information as well. He seems to think that Mega Man, Sonic, and Pac-Man are the only Amiibos from "different games," which I'm not even sure what the hell he means there. Does he think the others are only in Smash Bros? Not even certain, but I'm taking it as more proof he wouldn't know Ike from Eisenhower. If he hasn't played much, then fine but this is basic Google search stuff...

      Delete
    5. Yeah ... send him the Villager and Wii Fit Amiibos for free. I had to fork out $45 because I hesitated too long.

      Signed, Mr. Irrationally Angry

      Delete
    6. Isn't asking people to give him rare Amiibos for free ACTUAL "ebegging" as opposed to a Kickstarter for a remake of a game? At least with the kickstarter, you'd be planning to actually get something back. Wow Bores, you fucking hypocrite, I think you will finally ultimately fuck yourself this year.

      Delete
  21. Last time I checked, no, you couldn't revisit a level after beating it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right. The purpose of launchpad is to let you replay the level you're on to collect all the diamonds again for a higher score. In addition if the ten thousands digit of your score is 7, you go to a bonus area where you can collect more diamonds.

      Delete
    2. Launchpad also helped in the sequel, incase you visited the levels out of order (since you may not have the necessary cane upgrades) and don't want to lock yourself out of revisiting a level by beating it's boss so you can't get the level's map piece.

      Delete
    3. I have to correct myself, in 2 you were able to re-enter completed levels in the NES version, while in the GB version once you got a stage's treasure, you're locked out unless you reset.

      Delete
  22. I find it weird how he complains about the Transylvania level being repeated. seeing as how he said it was his favorite level.

    Also: As far as the final boss goes, I've never played the game before, but it looked to me like the bats are supposed to home in on your position to a certain extent. This would mean that you're supposed to wait on the ground and wait for bats to come close enough to bounce on, instead of constantly bouncing around like an idiot like he was doing. After watching an actual playthrough of the final boss, my suspicions were pretty much confirmed. To reiterate, someone who has never played the game before figured out the final boss strategy before he did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's not a gamer. That much has been obvious since the GnG video. Yes, that long ago.

      Delete
  23. "Did I just reached that vine without paying?! What the hell?! That means I just backtrack the entire level for nothing!"

    Yeah, because you were too stupid to notice there's a vine at the top of the screen, there's nothing blocking it and that you can reach it by hopping on the top of statue's head, idiot.

    Also, how can he not talk about the moon level music, which is most memorable music soundtrack in video gaming? Another wasted opportunity right there, Bores.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I just noticed: his blog has other contributors besides himself:

    http://theirategamer.com/staff/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From that link:

      "Chris Bores was Youtube’s 2010 #55th most subscribed Channel. Chris produces a wide variety of shows on YouTube including, The Irate Gamer Show, Irate the 80’s, History of Video Games, Irate Gamer NEO, and is one of the leading promoters of Activision’s Skylanders Franchise, and the Collingwood Arts Center ghost tour guide."

      heheheheheheh

      Oh wait, he is serious?

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Delete
    2. I love how Chris is the only one that has a 'bio' while the others don't have, once again showing that Chris doesn't care about his 'friends' but himself.

      And where's LadyBuggin? Shouldn't she be credited seeing how she's IG's biggest supporter and contributor? You're being left out again, old hag! :P

      Delete
  25. Great cripes, look at some of the stuff currently for sale on his merch page. There are the combined smells of desperation and not thinking much of his fans.

    http://theirategamer.com/irate-gamer-store/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not Kirby, that's a Shy Guy.

      And really, selling the comic book cutscenes from his awful game for $15?! Who would be dumb enough to buy that?

      Delete
    2. I know his game was bad, but I never guessed it was worth negative ten dollars.

      Delete
    3. "worth negative ten dollars".... what do you mean?

      I like that he refers to it as "the short lived Irate Gamer video game". Either he's finally admitted that the game is dead and not coming back, or he doesn't know what "short-lived" means.

      Delete
    4. Oh, and apparently there's a "Christmas Sale" going on now.

      Delete
    5. Shaolin: The "comic strip" is $15 by itself... bundled with the game, the top price was $5. Hence the game has negative value.

      Delete
    6. Well, at least this proves his sprite figures really were made from wood.

      Delete
    7. If only you could get ten dollars from Bores each time you purchased a copy of TIGG....

      Delete
    8. "This documentary includes facts."
      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Also, how the hell did he confuse Shy Guy with Kirby?!

      Delete
    9. I reckon he could confuse Crash Bandicoot with Sonic the Hedgehog.

      Delete
    10. 15 dollars for a short comic is wholesale robbery. Some GRAPHIC NOVELS cost less then that. If all it is is the comics from between the levels on that pointless excuse for a game that is really pushing it.

      It's not a rare item so how can that price be justified in any way?

      Delete
    11. Bores is about as good as CWC when it comes to money. Actually, scratch that- he's merely slightly better.

      However, whoever did the comic book cutscenes could easily make a living doing comics or graphic novels.

      Delete
  26. Heh... one of the fan art pictures shows an obese Bores saying "Face it, candy is ruined!" (Fan Art 61).

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Wednesday video is a late St. Patricks' Day piece that... speaks for itself. I can't brain after watching it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dafuq? What the hell? Since when do Leprechauns head but people in the testicles? AND WHY WAS THIS NEEDED TO BE MADE!?
      Seriously, that was just a 25 second ad for a video he did like 2 years ago!

      Delete
    2. You know, I'm slightly surprised that the Lucky Charms video wasn't the one he showed.

      On the bright side, severe testicle damage would leave Boring Man unable to reproduce.

      Delete
    3. He's probably asexual anyway (not that that's a bad thing).

      Delete
    4. @Hunter In one of the Skylanders videos, we see a girl call him Daddy. While she may just be part of the act, Bores mentioned that he had kids, which I feel sorry for (those kids are going to think that their "cool dad" is the IG, only to figure out that he was being totally inconsiderate of other peoples' deaths and plagiarized numerous other sources as they get older).

      Delete
    5. It may have just been his (ex) girlfriend's kid. Send me a link to the video since he has hundreds of that those fucking Skylanders videos. If she really was his kid, I will feel so sorry for her when she grows up. Bores may even start using her as a fake account to irrationally defend himself.

      Delete
    6. That girl isn't his, she's the daughter of his girlfriend from a previous relationship.

      Delete
    7. That makes a lot of sense. I still feel sorry for her and the kid. Going by the scummy acts of Bores, I think he won't only commandeer the girlfriend, but the kid(s) to be used as sockpuppet accounts.

      Delete
    8. When did Chris break up with this particular girlfriend?

      Delete
    9. Probably cheated on her with his green screen.

      Delete
    10. I am also thoroughly confused by that video, and not just because it's late for St. Patrick's day. Personally, I was more into the Leprechaun Honest Trailer. If I was more confident in my editing, I'd do one for his "movie '.

      Delete
    11. I'm guessing she realized Chris was a fucking loser and dumped his ass as soon as possible.

      Delete
  28. Oh sweet Jesus, why did Bores bring this shit back? Does he want to keep punishing people?

    ReplyDelete
  29. So, Bores's video yesterday was just a plug for a 2 year old video (because he was too fucking lazy to make a new one of course) that also had another plug at the end for more shitty videos and a subscription reminder. Also, there was an unfunny leprechaun or some shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That leprechaun looks horrendous! He's nowhere near looking like the Lucky Charms leprechaun and that character is well drawn in all of the Lucky Charms cereal boxes!

      Delete
  30. Okay, NOW Bores has posted an actual Skylanders video, only 5 videos into his promise (no, that random leprechaun shit doesn't count. From the looks of the ratings and some of the comments, though, it looks like people can still see that the Irate Gamer is giving less than he is promising. He should have just promised one high quality (high quality for Bores anyway) video per week with occasional, shorter videos. If all he plans for these 3 videos a week is Skylanders and showing of toys and trinkets, his channel will only lose subscribers even faster.

    ReplyDelete
  31. One of the contributors to theirategamer.com, "Kuchiri," has posted a think-piece about game difficulty. Here's the third paragraph:

    "Then I was watching the recent Irate Gamer episode of Ducktales and it clicked. While I’m sure Chris overacted some of his deaths for laughs (or he is deep down a terrible gamer and should be ashamed of himself), it was clear to me that I was thinking about difficulty all wrong."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. One of the people Chis hired is on our side. This will be the year to end him.

      Delete
  32. Wow. This year already has 8 posts.

    ReplyDelete