Oh man, it’s been a LONG time since he did one of these. When was the last one? *checks* 2011! What was on that list?
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (stupid)
The Hangover Part II (fuck this noise)
X-Men: First Class (good stuff)
Super 8 (I completely forgot this movie exists)
Green Lantern (laaaame)
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (fuck this noise)
Captain America: The First Avenger (great)
The Smurfs (… are you kidding me?)
Cowboys & Aliens (Zzzzzzzzzzzzz)
Keep in mind, this was done by release order after a few years of putting immense shit near the top.
By the way Chris, you are late! We’re well into the “Summer Movie Season”. Avengers: Age of Ultron has already made a billion dollars worldwide, Mad Max: Fury Road has surprised everyone, and we already have our first major flop with Tomorrowland. You should have posted this in like April.
The video opens with Chris saying he used to do these lists, but doesn’t say why he stopped. I’m actually curious as 2012-2014 were massive Summers overall.
He claims he got requests to do one for this year. Suuuure, and totally not “I don’t have any material for this week… better dust off this old chestnut”
First movie is Minions. I have not seen either of the Despicable Me movies so my interest in this spin-off is… non-existent. Maybe one day I’ll sit down and watch all three.
He put it on the list because he likes the Minions and it looks funny. Next.
Next is Jurassic World. Please be good.
Chris says he didn’t like the previous sequels. You are not alone in thinking this.
He hopes it’s good… Next!
Next is San Andreas. I saw the trailer at Fury Road, it bored me.
He’s actually apprehensive about this being good as disaster movies tend to have bad plots. Then why did you put this on the list? Oh… trailer “wowed” him. You’re far too easily entertained. Also, this is coming really soon. This Friday. Again, you should have done this last month.
Next is Ted 2. Oh gross. Seth McFarlane shouldn’t be allowed on a movie set after A Million Ways to Die in the West. We get it, you wanted to be Blazing Saddles! You are not Mel Brooks!
Wait, what’s up with this poster he’s showing? Mila Kunis is there, even though she’s not in the movie. The trailers and the cast lists confirm this. Is this a fan made poster? It must be as the top says “The second motion picture from the creator of Family Guy”. Either that or he’s pretending Million Ways didn’t happen.
Bores is all “it’s going to be great” and says “creative mind behind Family Guy”. I’m going to go laugh now, and it might be a long time before I stop.
Okay, I’m good.
Next is Ant-Man. His costume really makes me want a big budget Kamen Rider movie.
“I know people are like ‘Ant-Man? What the hell is this?” Are you speaking for your fans? Cause at this point I’m pretty sure most people know who Ant-Man is now. The trailers have been out for a while.
He thought Guardians of the Galaxy was going to be stupid. … You’re a fool Chris. Then again, I saw so many people claim it was going to bomb. Hopefully they’re not repeating the same mistake with Ant-Man. Otherwise, crows will go extinct.
Blah blah Marvel track record. No mention of Avengers Chris?
Next is… Pixels. Stop. No. It’s an Adam Sandler movie, it’s going to be garbage. I don’t care if this has old video game characters, I don’t care if it somehow gets Amaterasu, Crono, Banjo-Kazooie, and Wonder-Red, it’s going to be shit.
“Probably my most anticipated movie of this summer” HEY GUYZ I’M TOTES A GAMER! How? How can anyone be excited for an Adam Sandler movie?
“It has Donkey Kong, and Galgaga that I saw” And somehow doesn’t mention Pac-Man despite him being front and center on the poster and in most of the trailers.
“good Adam Sandler movie” That is an oxymoron. Before anyone points out Punch-Drunk Love, that is not an Adam Sandler movie, that is a Paul Thomas Anderson movie that just so happens to have Adam Sandler. There’s a difference.
“I just hope it’s good and not stupid” … You are naïve.
“Alright so that’s my list” Wait, that’s it? That was only six movies. What happened to ten? Have you gotten that lazy?
Oh but he does bring up one more movie. No, not Inside Out, instead it’s Fantastic Four.
He says it’s not on the list because he didn’t like the trailer. What’s this? Chris being sensible?
“Johnny Storm is a black person” Oh shut up Chris. That is the least of this movie’s problems. People need to stop being hung up on this aspect, there’s an even greater assassination of character in “antisocial hacker Dr. Doom”. This movie is going to suck even if Johnny was white.
“I don’t know how that’s going to work” Well obviously the movie will explain. Though I can’t imagine the thought process behind “Let’s take the great, powerful leader of Latveria, and make him a 4chan user”.
That’s pretty much the end.
Even though it’s been a while, it’s still safe to say that Chris has terrible taste in movies.
Onto Friday then?