Friday, December 4, 2015

Tales of Fuckbrain: The RPG

We’re approaching the end of the year, but even with the holidays approaching Chris has not slowed down.
Alongside the Skylanders video posted on Monday, two more videos were posted this week.

First one on Tuesday was another god damn book review. Some Dungeons & Dragons book, because Bores has totally showcased he’s a big D&D fan in the past (pffffft). Who keeps giving him these books?
Like the last video, it’s just Bores going through the entire book, saying things look cool, some major “Captain Obvious” like saying the first chapter titled “Welcome to the Realm” is all about the realms, or mispronouncing Baldur’s Gate as “Boulder’s Gate”. It’s 10 minutes long and not worth watching.

Onto the main video of the week. Seems Bores is reading my recaps. In the last post I said it was likely he was fired from GotGame because he never posts anything there and they don’t give him new consoles. In a way that says “Oh yeah, watch this!” he posted a new video to GotGame Thursday night. Well, it’s more he posted the video to YouTube, unlisted it, and linked it on GotGame. Same thing he did with the Mario Party 10 video way back in March.

So, what’s he going to look at? *looks* Ooooh no. Tales of Zestiria. This is going to be pain.
For those unaware, Tales of Zestiria is the 15th mainline title in the popular Tales RPG franchise. Utilizing a battle system with real-time combos and spells as opposed to turn based combat like its contemporaries Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest, the Tales series is a major fan favorite amongst RPG enthusiasts and continues to be enjoyed today. The series is also notorious for skipping several localizations, thankfully Bandai Namco has realized there’s a fairly substantial Western fan base and has started ensuring quick localization turnarounds. With Zestiria coming out nine months after its Japanese release as opposed to years like Graces and the two Xillia games.
Sorry for that spiel, onto the pain.

When was the last time Bores talked about an RPG? Oh right, Stick of Truth. When was the last time he talked about a Japanese RPG? Might have been Final Fantasy III for DS. Jeez that was ages ago.

Wow, so many dislikes. I imagine when Bores officially posts this to YouTube, he’ll delete this unlisted version and put out a fresh one so he can get all new likes (though he’ll probably get a shitload of dislikes considering how bad this video is). Just like Mario Party 10.

*looks at description* “For this episode we are checking out the new RPG, does it live up to the hype?” Do you even know why there’s hype? Are you even aware of what this series is? Are you just using a notable buzzword because you’re completely clueless about this game and hope this will get people’s attention?
He once again uses that “Parapper the Rapper free since 2007” slogan. Okay, first time I kind of understood since he was talking about Kung-Fu, second time I thought he was just copying the last video and forgot to remove that. Now I don’t know what to think. What does it even mean?! Why can’t he even still spell it right?
Apparently there were comments before, but now they’re gone. Sounds like ol’ Bores still can’t take criticism.

Anyway, the video.

0:05 - 0:55: “We’ll be checking out Tales FROM Zes-ty-ria” Wow, first line and we’re already in fucking trouble. It’s Tales OF Zestiria, how the hell did you get “from”? Second, he completely butchered the pronunciation of Zestiria. It’s “Zes-tier-e-ah”.
I should also mention he’s looking at the PS3 version. I kind of forgot that exists since there’s also PS4 and PC versions, and the only reason to get the PS3 version is if you were in Japan before the other two came out, or you’re a cheapo like Bores that refuses to get a PS4 unless Sugar Daddy GotGame provides it (and they still haven’t).

“I’ve been hearing so many good things about this title lately” From who? Not reviews as a lot of the reviews call it painfully average, and I seriously doubt you go to video game forums. He’s probably saying this because he got a free copy and he doesn’t want to say that.
“I haven’t played an RPG in a few years because I used to be a Final Fantasy guy” Riiiight. You know, when you say these things Chris, nobody really believes you.
He calls the last couple games “downright stupid” (makes me wonder which ones he’s referring to since he somehow confused 13-2 for 12) then a bit where he’s digging around his trash can. If you want something better than the last few FF games, why the trash can? Don’t you want something good? Oh, it’s just to show he has a copy of Call of Duty Ghosts. Considering the average age of IG’s audience, I don’t think they’d like that slam towards Call of Duty, especially when so many of them requested it.

He continues going on about wanting something with substance, and then he pulls out his copy of ToZ and asks “Can it live up to the hype?” Ooooh that’s why he said it in the description.
“Well, after playing this game a few hours” And into the trash it goes, this review that is. I seriously doubt he beat this 60+ hour RPG. Even if it came out back in October.

He starts by talking about the characters. He calls Sorey a “total goofball” and notes that if he was in a “bad mood”, that would ruin the game for him. Then a bit where he yells and gently tosses the game. … What?

0:55 - 1:51: “It seems the more I played, the more I got into the storyline” Really, the more you advance in the story the more you possibly get into it? Tell me all about this fascinating method of enjoying entertainment Chris.
Then a long sequence where he summarizes the game’s opening cutscene with his own stupid “dramatic” narration. It’s like 30 seconds long, in a video that’s barely four minutes. Padding!
He then calls it “heavy shit”. Meh, come to me when you play a Shin Megami Tensei title, now that’s heavy.
But then he calls out the fact the land looks nice a “plot hole” since not everything is destroyed. Maybe you should pay attention because it didn’t say everything was destroyed.

1:52 - 2:48: He starts talking about Sorey, the main protagonist. Or “Soarie” as he pronounces it for some reason. He even has an argument with the “narrator” that attempts to be like “Who’s on First” but completely fails. You’re both wrong, it’s “Sore-ay” or “Soar-ay”. Did you even play the game? They say his name in clear English, with voice acting. This isn’t the SNES/PS1 era, you don’t have the excuse of no voice acting to get names wrong. I doubt he switched to Japanese voices either considering how he hates non-English things (Tekken 6 and Kinnikuman not getting dubbed for example)
He mentions how Sorey was raised by “faeries” (he means the Seraphim), mentions Mikleo (without saying his name, I imagine he’d get it wrong) then mentions how they find Alisha and… he calls her Ashley. … Chris, are you retarded? Like, actually functionally retarded? How do you see “Alisha” and somehow think that’s Ashley? I just… what? Are you not aware that’s an actual name? Alicia Keys? Alicia Silverstone? Alicia Masters from Fantastic Four? Yes, the “Alisha” spelling is much rarer, but it’s the same pronunciation. How fucking fucking fucking dumb are you Chris? Unbelievable. This proves you didn’t even play, she clearly says her name in ENGLISH!
“I bet she’ll be the love interest for the main character at some point” NOPE! That’s proof enough he barely played the game. Small spoiler but Alisha leaves the game fairly early on (in terms of Tales RPG length). No she doesn’t die like Aerith, she just leaves. Sorey’s actual love interest… well I’ll leave that a surprise.

He mentions “Ashley” is trying to find the hero, and he knows that it’s Sorey, and for some reason it cuts to him when he says that as he spreads his arms and causes the stuff on top of his shelf (like that Arkham City pillow) to fall off. Then he says “sorry” … Was that a blooper he left in or was it intentional so he could continue that dumbass “Sorey/Sorry” joke that doesn’t even make sense because THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S PRONOUNCED!

2:48 - 3:50: He FINALLY gets to the gameplay (with a little over a minute left) and talks about the battle system. He brings up how it’s real time instead of “pointing and clicking”, and how we can “thank Kingdom Hearts for that”. Wait what? “Thanks Square-Enix, you ruined it for all of us” … DUMB! YOU ARE DUMB! Do some fucking research for once in your life you oaf! The Tales series predates Kingdom Hearts. Tales of Phantasia came out for the Super Famicom in 1995, the first Kingdom Hearts was in 2002. There were at least two Tales sequels that came out before KH (Destiny, and Eternia). Not to mention the first two Star Ocean games which also use a real time fighting system similar to Tales. You stepped into the wrong fucking territory today Chris, and this is why you need to be called out when you screw up hard.

He finds the battle system easy to use and “execute”, leading to another dumb bit where he’s interrupted by the Pokemon Exeggcute. This “words that sound similar” bit is one of the dumbest things you’ve ever done. Everything about this video is just dumb.
Then he talks about the animated intro, says it looks cool, and full of foreshadowing whatever…
He says he’s still playing it (I don’t believe you) and he looks forward to where the story goes. I don’t see him lasting, Zestiria is actually fairly difficult if you don’t set up your characters correctly or use the various stat-boosting items littered throughout the map.

This might be a contender for worst Neo review of the year. No wait, Splatoon is still there… they’re both pretty awful. Actually, the only positive I can say about this video is that it’s NOT like the Splatoon review. Sounds like he realized his “crazy style” was hated and decided to dump it. Bravo if true.
It’s clear he didn’t get far, or even play the game. The footage is direct capture and not recorded off his TV like the last few modern games, meaning it’s possible that he stole it. I can’t find any watermarks so no proof there. But you can tell he barely played from how little he talks about the actual game. More is about the story, or how things are pronounced, or getting names wrong, and if he really did play he would have noticed these things. I just… what was the point of this video? I can’t understand how he somehow continues to get worse. This is going to get thrashed when Bores eventually posts it to YouTube. I can feel it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I just got Xenoblade Chronicles X. Do not touch this game Chris. Do. Not.

96 comments:

  1. Guess Bores will never get the concept of "good reviewing".

    ReplyDelete
  2. One of the last sentences in the review has unusually weird syntax even for Bores, and sounds edited together from separately-recorded sentence fragments. It goes “I did find this one to be a very fun title that I’m still playing through, (AUDIO QUALITY CHANGES) but the story does a great job at engaging the player.” What does that mean? The story engages him even though he found it fun? Why did he stitch that together from different recordings? What does he think his job is?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You forgot to mention he's deleting negative comments on gotgame & youtube.

    ReplyDelete
  4. He probably just found a "Tales of Zestiria: The Movie" video that compiles all the cutscenes into one thing, and a few videos of random battles, slapped them into his software without really looking at it and just looked up the characters on a wiki to make it seem like he knew what he was talking about. I mean good lord, how do you mispronounce character's names in an RPG in the year 2015 where the lion's share of them have voicework that nullifies such mistakes from happening. This isn't Undertale where one could see it as "Puh-pie-rus" or "Pap-ih-rus" or something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How Chris Bores has made it this far in his career, I do not know.

      Delete
  5. He does have Call of Duty: Ghosts. Makes me wonder why at E3 2011, he said he's not a big fan of first-person shooters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I recall him playing a Call of Duty earlier in the year in that "TV Lights" video. He didn't mention which one.

      I guess GotGame gave it to him?

      Delete
    2. Daniel, remember when he did his worst "Video Games to Film" adaptations countdown? He said that he never played the original "Doom", because it gave him motion sickness.

      Delete
  6. I may not care about Xenoblade; but I imagine after this piece of trash of a review; if Chris did look at it, it would very much be Kirby's Epic Yarn times 2,356. I personally wouldn't tempt him if he or "Linda" (there's no point in keeping up the facade if you two have the same comment pattern and IP address, Bores; and you unwittingly outed yourself) is reading this blog. Too bad that Exeggcute didn't use Self-Destruct on Boring Man, because it's clear he has. Depending on what happens Tuesday, I'm going to start compiling my worst moments then; since I have finals Monday and then I'm off school for Christmas. Well, back to studying and Super Mystery Dungeon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anyone remember this guy?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm9fW50lAbA

    He hasn't been active for a while, but he was one of my favorite reviewers at the time. He was famous for his Zelda CDI reviews among other things. In this particular review, I actually learned about the game.

    ReplyDelete
  8. OT: Ni No Kuni 2 is coming to PS4 soon. That might be a motivator for me to get a PS4 in the near future (along with a lead version of Batman Arkham Knight, my data transfer for Grand Theft Auto V; and the prospect of The Last Guardian and the 20th anniversary reversioning of Final Fantasy VII); as the first game was brilliant. As a game that combines unique RPG gameplay with the art of Studio Ghibli; I personally think it took a lot more risks than Yo-Kai Watch did (though I might consider getting the game pre-owned next year; as it apparently hasn't been doing so hot at retail and it's been bleeding spots on eShop as well).

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sheesh! With these "complaints" about the game, I'd hate to see how he "reviews" Secret of Mana. And he'd better not!

    Speaking of Tales, the only ones that I've played are Phantasia, DotNW and Abyss (on 3DS). I still enjoyed their gameplay, though.
    ^-^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He probably couldn't even get past the first part of Secret of Mana.

      Delete
  10. Am I the only one that found it funny that he has the whole video unlisted on his youtube page.

    Also, BatDan,

    I took a screenshot of his video days ago that had 3 comments and it goes like this:

    12/5/15
    From TotallyTerrificPants 10 Hours Ago

    You can't review an RPG if you only played about 3 hours. Hell, it's pretty wise to not review an RPG if it is obvious you aren't a fan. I admit I suck at them and genuinely liked maybe 5 RPG's in my life, but I know not to review them or really discuss them because my opinion is heavily biased.

    From Nintato 13 hours ago
    Btw, that's Exeggcute. Not Exeggcutor.

    From Nintato 13 hours ago
    First to witness this garbage


    Now on today's screenshot I took:

    12/6/15

    From Nintato 2 days ago
    Btw, that's Exeggcute. Not Exeggcutor.


    Yup. He deleted those other two comments. If you want the screenshots, just ask me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anyone remember Silent Rob's In a Nutshell videos making fun of IG? I fall over laughing when I watch them.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Completely unrelated, but there's something I really want to point out. In regards to Chris' Justin Carmichael comments, what I want to say is that is NOT how Christians talk. I'm a Christian and always hang around fellow Christians and we know that it is completely disresptful and hurtful to make comments like that about someone who died. Yes, suicide is a pretty heavy topic in Christianity, but that does NOT give you the right to make disgusting comments like that.

    Awhile back, I read some YouTube comments that pretty much defended Chris' Justin Carmichael comments. The person said something on the lines of "He's a Christian, so it's understandable why he would say that." NO. He did NOT say that because he was a Christian, he said it because he's an insensitive idiot who doesn't know how to think about what he says before says it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Chris is NOT a Christian.

    I really hope Chris' remarks hasn't stained anyone's image of Christianity. We do NOT talk like that, only insensitive idiots like Chris do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Extremists bring a bad name to Christianity as well. Those guys also aren't Christians.

      Delete
    2. At least at one point Bores identified as a Buddhist. I can't find them now, but he did review some books on theology from his Amazon account a while back, and responded to one book by saying it was the first interpretation of Jesus he could actually relate to.

      Calling out fall associations is one thing, but the best is just to be the other, more accurate, example. Be kind, charitable, and righteous. If enough Christians focus on that, the they’ll be the “typical Christians” thought of.

      Delete
  13. So, what does everyone think that whole announcement from Nintendo will be today? There is a possibility it could be the final Nintendo Direct for Super Smash Bros.; among other things. No matter what it might be; it's bound to be more interesting than how botched the Playstation VR demo was (note: I'm quite skeptical of the VR revival, given how badly I've been burned in the past by the initial wave of it).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's great that Minecraft is finally coming to the Wii U, but it's just completely unreasonable that Nintendo hasn't announced a fucking release date for this special Smash broadcast yet. I want to play as Cloud now, goddammit.

      Delete
    2. I know the feeling, Hunter. That and many other announcements have been highly conspicuous by their absence. I'll keep an eye out, though.

      Delete
  14. The Final Fantasy VII remake is going to be episodic. I just knew Square Enix would fuck it up somehow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Episodic" is not necessarily the correct word. It's going to be released in "parts" where each part will have as much content as a full game.

      This leads me to believe that they're going to incorporate things from the other FFVII games like Crisis Core, which is fine with me. I'm still disappointed that it's being split up but if each entry is going to be full-game experience, then it's kind of okay.

      Delete
    2. I also would have no problem with this; since that's actually a rather unique method of distribution that developers like Telltale have made great use of (with their Back to the Future and Walking Dead games, as well as their planned Batman title which seems to be influenced by the early Bob Kane/Bill Finger stories; if that teaser is any indication).

      Delete
  15. Agh! Right to the core! My favorite JRPG series, mocked again by this hack of a gamer! Urk....I cannot even stand to refer to him as such! The dirt on my boots has more worth than this buffoon! The fact he brings up the "heroine" only pushes the blade further into my heart that they made Alisha a marketing power play....

    Despite its average reviews, I still intend to get it. "For if thou'st not remember the slightest folly that love ever made thee run into, thou has not loved."

    Tales of is also going to release a game in the future about a lone female protagonist with a brooding disposition. I dunno why Namco and Square keep copying each others homework. This isn't the first time it's happened, and I roll my eyes each time.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I know this is probably pretty insensitive to bring up, but from all the stuff LadyBuggin777 seems to be Liking on YouTube Bores is an ardent Trump voter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Makes sense. He's certainly of the same intelligence level of one who thinks voting for such a despicable person is a good idea.

      Delete
    2. They do have quite a bit in common; being nitwits that are up to their necks in hate and perpetually asking for more.

      Delete
    3. And lying. Do NOT forget the lying.

      Delete
    4. Ahem, I think you mean CrazyBuggin777.

      Delete
  17. Seriously, when the media talks about Trump, they're about as honest as Bores in his Opening Up video.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stop. With. The. Fucking. Politics.

      Anymore and I will delete your comments.

      Delete
    2. I second that motion. Political insults and criticisms are what the news is for.

      Delete
    3. Please keep politics away from video games.

      Delete
    4. I agree with Radio White Base. You only told the conservative to stop with the politics, but left the liberals alone. It's your blog and you can do what you want, but I'm still going to call you out for being a hypocrite.

      Delete
  18. @batdan, looks like Bores deleted your comment, thus proving your point

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep... good thing I screencapped it.

      Nothing will break his bubble.

      Delete
    2. Surprisingly BatDan, Bores hasn't deleted any of your comments, at least not when I was browsing through the comments section on his latest video. I screencapped some of your comments as well as several others that make Bores and his fans look stupid. Some of my favorite comments include:

      - Bores saying things like "why didn't I think of that" or that he "forgot to bring that up" when people brought up stuff he didn't mention in the review(as it shows actual analysis is his lowest priority)

      -Bores saying that WE'RE all the mentally inferior people using sock puppet accounts (followed by your rebuttal, BatDan)

      - The guy who said that he doesn't care about facts (well then why did you click on a video of a video game review that INFORMS you about a game? People don't watch AVGN or Nostalgia Critic JUST for the jokes). Bores of course replied to his comment, patronizing him.

      -The last picture I included consists of some moron saying the game Chris is "reviewing" looks like a Zelda game, an IG fanboy who still believes Chris is hated because the AVGN exists (go thumbs down your own videos? Really?), and your rebuttal, BatDan, for why Chris's video is highly unprofessional.


      Here's the imgur link for screenshots of all of these comments:

      http://imgur.com/a/Txo2T

      Delete
    3. "Why didn't I think of that"

      Hey Bores, you know why you never think of that? Because you're lazy. Instead of actually playing the whole game, analyzing it and write down what is your experience of the game, the flaws you encounter, what you think of the story, etc., you rather just play the game for a short while, rush out a quick review, upload the video and call it a day.

      Delete
    4. ...Let me make this very clear: We do NOT pronounce "sorry" as "Sorey", we pronounce it just like you guys do. Seriously, in certain aspects, we're similar to you guys!
      >.<#

      Delete
    5. Hey, the stupid viewer said it, not me.

      Delete
    6. I never said it was you. But it seems that Bores and some of his fans share some traits.
      >.<#

      Delete
  19. 'This “words that sound similar” bit is one of the dumbest things you’ve ever done.'

    Kinda makes you pine for the Guru/Gorro days.

    ReplyDelete
  20. 'This “words that sound similar” bit is one of the dumbest things you’ve ever done.'

    Kinda makes you pine for the Guru/Gorro days.

    ReplyDelete
  21. So, this piece of crap of a "review" is on YouTube; and as expected, the dislikes are heavy. I have some things to take care of; and I'll probably be compiling my worst moments when I come back.

    ReplyDelete
  22. James Rolfe has posted an 11-minute video explaining the byzantine internal logic and hidden meanings of the past season of Board James. Distracted as I am today, I barely understood much of it, and yet I fully trust that it all actually does make sense based on years of precedent with James' work.

    If you watch it, just imagine Bores even attempting something this complicated and layered, let alone coming close to succeeding.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. made sense, I'll def. go back and watch for clues that he pointed out and then some

      Delete
  23. Hey guys, really sorry for plugging my mod again. Don’t mean to be spamming the off-topics with the same old stuff. But I was just showing the dl page to someone and saw that mod db is having their Mod of the Year 2015 competition right now.

    Off course, if any of you haven’t played Nightmare House 2 yet, shame on you!

    (Seriously, though. Download and play it.)

    If you enjoy the mod, please vote for it

    I won’t vote for it myself, and of course I wouldn’t even suggest anyone vote for it without playing it, but I really think most of you will enjoy if. We all put a lot of love and work into it over the years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and the sooner the better. I just stumbled on the voting page and as of this posting there's only one day and 19 hours left to vote. It only takes a few hours to play the whole thing.

      Delete
  24. So; with some delay, here are my personal worst moments of this year; feel free to tell me all yours.
    1. Ghost Hunting 2.0 and all Boring Man's attempts to salvage it, none of which were successful.
    2. Failing to Stick to a Schedule HE set for HIMSELF; bringing his schedule slip to a new low.
    3. The Castlevania NES "Review" that deserves to be eviscerated by Van Helsing.
    4. Artistic License History of Video Games continuing its slog through every little thing.
    5. His Skylanders fetish and Amiibo gloating.
    6. The Donkey Kong "Review"; dunking on an arcade classic in attempt to promote the film Pixels; which backfired when the film bombed amid competition from Ant-Man and Mission Impossible Rogue Nation.
    7. The Splatoon "Crazy" "Review"
    His look at this game was highly ill-conceived with lousy jokes and knowing jack about the game in favor of "crazy" antics that just come off as dumb. Least we got that great riff from Restpurae out of it.
    8. The Inside Out "Crazy" "Review"
    His attempt to reintroduce film reviews included a list of summer movies that were hit (Jurassic World, Ant-Man, Minions, San Andreas) or miss (Fantastic Four, Pixels, Ted 2) and a dull look at the unnecessary remake of Poltergeist. Yet, his worst had to be this look at my favorite film of the year so far; which hasn't improved at all from his views on prior Pixar films (WALL-E and Toy Story 3).
    9. His E3 coverage bottoming out
    At least he didn't actually go to the show; but he still ended up glossing over the bulk of anticipated releases and not offering anything I can get from other coverage.
    10. The Mega Man "Review"
    While Mega Man hasn't been treated the best lately; Chris' attempting to look at the first of many titles from the Blue Bomber met with some of the worst gaming since DipShitPhil's attempt (which DLAboaqu did a pretty good riff of a while ago).
    11. The Kid Icarus "Review"
    His look at Pit's first adventure had a further example of Boring Man's inability to grasp the caustic critic character type; as well as a terrible gag about love testers; culminating in smashing an eggplant all over the game.
    12. The Punch-Out "Review"
    Pointless montage gag with Vince DiCola music aside (which he probably won't remove from the DVD if Toei and Saban haven't come after him for the Power Rangers footage); this attempt to sully the name of another NES classic makes me wish Iron Mike would take off a chunk of Chris' ears for it.
    13. The Duck Tales "Review"
    The inaugural review of his supposed "retirement" saw him go back to his old ways of bashing NES classics for petty reasons; all because of the planned revival of the show in 2017.
    14. His attempts at Let's Plays/Damage Control on TMNT II Arcade (tie)
    Boring Man trying Let's Plays didn't work out so well. In many ways, they were worse than his reviews. Also, his attempts to backpedal on criticizing the NES version of the TMNT arcade game were too little, too late; especially as that review was the one that got me to hate IG.
    15. "Reviews" of worthless shit
    I'm including these all in one slot; since it's clear that nobody would want this garbage. Electric Soldier Porygon lights; off-brand headphones and speakers, and the low point of a fucking backpack.
    With 2016 on the horizon, I can imagine it won't be long before Chris finally self-destructs. He may claim that YouTube has changed; but it's clear he's unable or unwilling to adapt to that change like others have. Eight years online; he's only been getting worse, not helped by his allergy to criticism. I never considered ripping off you-know-who to be his worst quality; because it's clear to me he has far more problems than that. He always has. Even so, I can only imagine what Bores will do in 2016, which looks to be one of the biggest years in gaming ever. Well, see you all Friday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "With 2016 on the horizon, I can imagine it won't be long before Chris finally self-destructs."

      I doubt it. That's what some said last year about 2015 and the year before that about 2014. We're sounding like a broken record here. Bores will still be lingering for the next few years is my prediction. How long precisely though, I don't know.

      Once he finally hits rock bottom, however, he'll most likely just disappear off the face of the Internet, and/or he'll point the finger and blame us and everyone else for all his failures. Either it'd be him or CrazyBuggin777 (be it his real mom "Billie" or Bores wearing a wig pulling a Norman Bates on us).

      Delete
    2. Well, part of the reason I still follow this saga is to see just how bad Chris can go. Needless to say; he's more than outdone himself in sheer badness, to the point where I had to cut many things from my list just to fit them here. The saga of his book alone is one I'm definitely going to be following as an English major who's always had a distaste for Boring Man's writing.

      Delete
    3. Don't forget:

      16. Bores making a tribute video to Leonard Nimoy after his death... ending with a plea for subscribers. And monetizing it, too.

      Delete
    4. 5. His Skylanders fetish and Amiibo gloating.

      Don't forget that he tried to e-beg for Amiibos as well.

      Delete
    5. And that he called the person he took Marth and Ike pre-orders from a "poor sap." Joke's on him. They're easy as fuck to get here in America now.

      Delete
    6. @ StevenPR-92:
      "His look at this game [Splatoon] was highly ill-conceived with lousy jokes and knowing jack about the game in favor of "crazy" antics that just come off as dumb."
      Even though this is your personal explanation about this choice, I think you're putting it too lightly.
      After spending almost two months watching numerous videos and trailers focusing on the game, as well as picking it up today and playing it for 2-3 hours (not a lot of time, but it gives me a good first impression and I'm loving it so far), it's amazing just how lazy Bores was with Splatoon (understatement of the year, I know).
      In fact, if you will forgive me for doing so, allow me to list off everything that Bores failed to mention in his "Crazy" review:
      - Turf Wars
      - Ranked Battles (which only had Splat Zone at the time of his review)
      - All of the different weapons and gear, with their own respective upgrades and abilities
      - Booyah Base and its different shops
      - The (lacking) Battle Dojo mode
      - Callie and Marie, and their roles in the game as co-hosts
      - Spyke's role as a black-market dealer
      - How the Wii U GamePad is required to play the game
      - Anything beyond the first two levels of the campaign, including the Sunken Scrolls and the different boss fights
      - Nothing about Cap'n Cuttlefish, Agents 1 & 2, or the Octarian army
      - The challenge stages and subsequent rewards with regard to the amiibo figures

      I'm sure there's more I'm missing, but those were the things I can list off the top of my head.
      In my opinion, due to the sheer amount of pure laziness oozing from that video, I find it worse than his Tales of Zestiria review (but the latter is a really close second).

      @ Andrew Schroy:
      I agree with your point. That definitely was a bad move on his part.
      Speaking of which, it brings to mind a similar incident where people were in outrage with WatchMojo.com when they uploaded a video following Iwata's death with 5 reasons he would be missed...and they monetized it (and their white-knighting attempt in the comments section of the video seemed really childish and slightly unprofessional to me).

      Delete
    7. @Andrew. Thank you. That monetized "tribute" to one of the most beloved entertainers in history was highly ill-conceived.
      @ Shadow. Yes, I tried a bit of the game when I was out the other day; which makes me want to spend more time with it; and quite a bit of coin customizing my Squid Kids when I get the game (I could spend a lot at Shrimp Kicks alone). Even so; it was a pretty abysmal video, especially with how he claimed that the lion's share of the basic gameplay mechanics were special moves. The canyons in research were as bad in that video as they were in this woeful Tales "review."

      Delete
  25. Gentlemen, we finally have a date and time. The Final Smash Bros. Direct will air on Tuesday, December 15th at 2PM PST and 5PM EST. ALL ABOARD THE MOTHERFUCKING HYPE TRAIN, CAUSE THIS SHIT HAS NO BRAKES!

    Also, I'm calling it now. Wolf is coming back and King K. Rool won the Smash Ballot.

    ReplyDelete
  26. LadyBuggin when confronted on being a sockpuppet:

    It can't be posing if in fact you ARE the actual mom. What now, you're a momaphobe besides being gender confused? Wow, it must be hell for you trying to use public restrooms! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Again, this from someone who's unwittingly outed themselves before; and conveniently has the same comment structure and IP address as her ignoramus of a son. It's not rocket science. Also, last I checked, "momaphobe" wasn't a word; as my spell-checker can attest. If she is real; then she's definitely insane. All I can tell her is to lay off the Alex Jones podcasts.

      Delete
    2. This Ladybuggin777 aka Chris Bores' activity on likes and YouTube comments reminds me of crazy conservative tea party woman on Facebook.

      Delete
    3. "If she is real; then she's definitely insane."

      And just as retarded as her son. I can see where the stupidity in Bores' family may have come from. Anyone getting vibes of Chris Chan and his mother?

      Delete
  27. No apologies for Justin JeWario after all this time. What is the matter with him?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no one single matter with him; he's Chris Bores. My advice is to realize that and move on... even though I can't.

      Delete
    2. Agree with Harrod.

      Was what Bores said stupid and retarded? Yes. Disrespectful? Definitely. Is it a grudge worth holding onto? Absolutely not.

      Dumbass idiots say dumbass things about other people, dead or alive, all the time. Get over it and move on please.

      Delete
  28. Here's the teaser trailer to Godzilla: Resurgence, the next Japanese Godzilla movie:
    http://comicbook.com/2015/12/09/godzilla-resurgence-teaser-trailer-and-poster-released/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the one being handled by the people behind the live-action Attack on Titan movies; and with Hideki Anno (creator of Neon Genesis Evangelion) at the helm. To say that I'm excited after all this time between this and Final Wars would be putting it lightly.

      Delete
  29. "I apologize for the limited posts this week. We suffered a traumatic death in the family and have been busy with that. There we be a slight delay on the next IG video." - you'll get one day off being bashed, Chris.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It may have been his father. He mentioned before how he was really close to death earlier in the year.

      Delete
    2. And Chris, if you're reading this, I hope for you, your friends, and your family to get through these difficult times, and may whoever has left this world rest in peace.

      Delete
    3. Chris, if you're reading this (and I know you will), I know we've been very harsh on you for a long time due to your incompetence, but today, I shall give you and your family my condolences during this difficult time. Thoughts and prayers.

      Delete
    4. Always nice to see people having compassion for others no matter what we think of them. Things like this put our petty squabbles about YouTube videos in perspective.

      Delete
    5. Now imagine someone would come around and suddenly say something incredibly insensitive and disrespectful about your close departed, Chris.

      That's why people took offense to what you said last year.

      Delete
    6. And people also took offense to what Boring Man did back in March when he posted the Leonard Nimoy tribute and added the "PLZ SUBSCRIBE" endslate to it.

      Delete
    7. Sorry for your loss Chris. Buy Chex Mix (Tm).

      Delete
  30. new video...another scam site promo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's that I hear? The hypocrisy train rolled in containing Bores? :D

      Man, and three years after bad-mouthing James Rolfe for doing a Kickstarter, but... what do you expect?

      Delete
    2. You really do make it hard to not take back a nice/generous comment towards you when you pull shit like this right after said comment, you know that Chris? I'm not saying that I'm taking back what I said at all, I'm just saying you make it hard not to.

      Delete
    3. Notice when he says to put Theirategamer in the referral section. Now look at the part where he shows the website. In the upper right corner it says to refer a friend and get $5 credit. He is trying to score a bunch of free credit! Towards the end of the video he mentions the referral again.

      Then he has the audacity to say this is a holiday treat for the fans.

      Delete
    4. Classic Bores move. "Duhhh, here's your present buddy. It's you giving money to me! Alright, this is getting hot. Wait, only $5? What a bunch of diarrhea dickwaffles! Get da fuck off mah property!"

      Delete
    5. Also, Chris lied about the prices. He says you will get $69 for selling Arkham Knight on PS4. That was the buy or ice meaning it costs $69 to get the game. The sell price is $48. That is still more than Amazon but significantly less than what Chris said you'didn't get.

      Delete
    6. Here are screenshots of the game's buy and sell prices. To be fair you can set a price higher than the market price but most buyers won't choose you and Chris said in the video that you WILL get $69.


      http://m.imgur.com/LNoLFrO,IrxlRLx

      Delete
    7. I don't detect any scam in the website itself. It looks like a legit trading post rather than the bullshit penny-auction madness he touted before. As IG scams go, this is on the benign side, though if James pulled something like this he'd frame it as "here's how you can help me," and it'd have worked with no ill will generated. Also, Bores only gets the $5 credit from signups who go on to buy something. We'll never know how many do, but I doubt his gaming-budget woes are solved forever.

      Delete
    8. Yeah, they do have to buy something but Chris should have stated in the video that referring him can lead to a $5 credit. It was also dishonest of him to use the buy price and say that a seller would "more than likely" get that much instead of the sell price.

      Then topping it off by claiming this is a holiday treat for the fans... very unethical (I taught ethics & compliance for five years.) To say nothing of the fact he posts this after a "traumatic death in the family."

      Surely Chris must be compelled to make a e-begging parody video on this, right?

      Delete
    9. In regards to the 'Referral', I can't fucking believe that! This shit shouldn't surprise me anymore, but somehow it always fucking does!

      Delete
  31. i got a security warning message when going on ig's site, took a screenshot http://imgur.com/FW3Tncx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sheesh! Not even security systems trust Crisbo. Must be a wake-up call to parents, I guess.
      -_-

      Delete
  32. OT: Apparently Disney might be trying to bring back Star Wars 1313 after its unceremonious cancellation; with influence from the Uncharted series in gameplay. Allow me to celebrate as such, with only a week till Episode VII; no less: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJvmyJRmsCk

    ReplyDelete
  33. New review. Star Wars Battlefront (which is set in the Star Wars universe), but also another website.

    ReplyDelete
  34. There's a chance you are eligible to receive a Sony PS4.

    ReplyDelete