Saturday, June 23, 2018

More Mario Game Genie Crap

After three weeks of no videos with no explanations to his absence, Chris finally put out a new one. It's also the promised follow-up to the last Mario Game Genie video, which he posted a month ago. Smoooooth.
He claims on his site that he can't always promise videos because of "fatherhood", and yet in the time since the stupid Thanos video, he has posted 25 Puppet Steve videos! You're lying Chris, and I don't know why. Just be truthful, say this is a hobby and you're far more dedicated to dangling keys in front of kids now.

Anyway, this one is called: Super Mario Bros NES Secret Hidden World H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O - Chris NEO Nintendo Game Genie Hack

Thankfully it's only 5:23 (so a little under five minutes excluding the sponsorship). But that only makes me question how this took a month to get out. This can't be that hard, just type in Game Genie codes, record the results, and edit. You don't even need the console, just use an emulator (which is probably what he's been using)

I am never going to get used to the stupid glasses.
"Locked away" Again, not locked away, just rewritten code.
"I've been playing the game Super Mario Bros since 1986" Add 20 years to that.
Recaps the previous video, keeps going on about how they're hidden and locked away. Again, that's not how it works.

First code, leads to World H-1. A looping water world a/la Minus World. Woo...
 Second code, I-1. Exact same thing as 3-3 only it loops. Floating shell, "funny" reaction face.
Third code, J-1. It's the same as D-1. Why did you make this video Chris? There's nothing interesting here.
Fourth code, K-1. Looks like a standard level with weird enemy placement. "I just love finding worlds like these" You didn't find it! Seriously, this is like shit-tier Super Mario Maker trash.
"Only in these lost worlds" Ugggggh
L-1 is just 8-1
M-1 is 3-3 again. Though he claims it's World H instead of World I. Editing? What's that?
N-1 is another World 8 stage an O-1 is something from the last video. This is boring. Only morons would think this is fascinating.
He tries other combos, most of them are just levels from the game, one is a blank screen. Chris does a really weak-ass facepalm. The kind that says "It took me 40 takes to do this!"
He does one more code leading to a glitchy world. One that surprisingly doesn't crash.
And he ends the video saying there's still more to come. Oh my god make it stop! Nobody cares about this! The views certainly reflect that. They really didn't care for your stupid Thanos video either, it still hasn't reached 10,000 views. You were too late! You would have gotten tons of views if you made that within a week of Infinity War.

So how long until the last stupid Game Genie video comes out? A week? A month? Just have to wait and see.

Over on Puppet Steve, Chris still doesn't understand that Rick & Morty isn't for kids as he looks at a box of Strawberry Smiggles, a prop box from FYE (according to an Amazon review, it's all marshmallows). For those unaware, this is referencing a scene where they watch Interdimensional Cable and see a commercial for said cereal. Involving a leprechaun with rabbit ears eating Strawberry Smiggles, only for a pair of dead-eye kids to hold him down, cut open his stomach, and eat the cereal found in his entrails. Fun for kids! Chris your obsession with cereal blinds you so much.
He also did a few Incredibles II videos (one with Bowser for some reason), more FNAF bootlegs (nobody cares), a video on Crash Bandicoot mini-figures (I imagine he's never played a Crash game, especially when hack review sites freaked out over how hard it was when playing the N Sane Trilogy), and a weird video that's described as FNAF plushies fighting the Devil from Cuphead over candy. Did someone from the Elsagate crowd ghost-write that?

Buuuut that's not all, we have a ghost update! Over on Facebook, Chris got "candid" and talked about his book. How people are taking it seriously, how "the higher-ups of the ghost community" are somehow suppressing his book and keeping people from reading it, and that once all his ghost knowledge gets out, all those nasty haters are going to pay. This is just a summary, the full thing is badly-written wall of text.

Wow. You really think there's a shady group of ghost experts that are so afraid of you that they're purposely suppressing the book from getting out there? Chris, you're delusional. There's no "paranormal deep state" plotting against you. You claim this whenever things don't go you way. Like how you claimed James Rolfe was under-cutting you, or how Machinima was working against your channel. There's nobody trying to hide your book, you're just an asshole and a terrible author. By chance someone finds your book on Amazon, they'll read the reviews and find the more helpful ones are negative. Or they'll learn about your book on TVTropes' "So Bad It's Horrible" page, which gives a nice little summary about how much of an egotistical little shitbird you are.

Chris, give up on the ghosts. There's nothing there, and if there was, someone much smarter than you would have figured it out.

See you when I see you.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Puppet Steve Tries to Tap Into the E3 "Hype"

You guys have a good E3? I did at least.
Excited that Kingdom Hearts III finally has a release date. It's been five and a half years... I should replay the PS4 collections in preparation
Absolutely elated that the true Tales of Vesperia is finally coming over, and it's not exclusive. Yes, that one Namco.
I'm actually excited for an Assassin's Creed game. It looks different enough that I'm interested. Hope it doesn't suck.
No idea what Babylon's Fall will be, but more titles from PlatinumGames are always good.
September is gonna break me with Dragon Quest XI and Spider-Man.
Death Stranding... I think I have an idea of what it is? Though Sony's lack of release dates for a lot of their big titles is worrisome... Like their treatment of crossplay.
And of course, the showstopper that is Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Which is the subject of today's post!

Instead of Chris using his established gamer persona to talk about E3, he uses Puppet Steve instead. Oh good...
Posted last night. At least he was actually timely about it.
Super Smash Bros Ultimate Nintendo Switch E3 Full Reveal! Complete Roster New Fighters Amiibo 2018

Of course he's gotta stick that amiibo in there. Because fuck the actual game.
It's six minutes long. ... Okay.

Fake over-excitement. His wobbly table has a bunch of amiibo on it. Why not a Nintendo Swi- oh wait I don't think he even has a Switch. Too much money spent on FNAF crap I imagine.
Of course this is gonna be about CHARACTERS! And he claims they added a ton of new ones. No they didn't, they only added three (so far). Inkling, Daisy, and Ridley.
Apparently the first "new" character is the Pokemon Trainer, who he refers to as Ash Ketchum. That's not Ash, that's Red. He's very different, in that he's competent. Also, he's not a new character, he's returning from Brawl.
"You can play as all kinds of Pokemon like Charizard, Ivysaur, Squirtle, and more" Uhh no, just those three. Pokemon Trainer can only control those three. There are other Pokemon in the game, but they're not controlled by the trainer. They stand alone. Unless that's what you mean, but you're not very good at conveying your points.
Brings up the Inkling. "This brings in a lot of fun because you can play as the girl or the boy! Oh yes!" ... You have a weird idea of fun.
"There are over 8 different characters you can play in all?" As he shows all the Inkling variations. Those aren't new characters, they're different costumes. There is only one Inkling, and you can change their costume to fit your preference, or if you do an 8-player battle with only Inklings. How do you not get this?

And he continues to think there's "more characters" because of the Villager and how there's 8 different ones. Again, costumes. He also thinks they "added" this. No, this was in the last game. I know damn well you played the last game, I saw that video. You can't possibly be this ignorant. Yet somehow he is.
He's also surprised at female Pikachus. Yes Chris, gendered Pokemon have been thing since Gen 2, and the heart-tail has been a thing since Gen 4. You'd know this if you were an actual Pokemon fan and not just pretending to be one.
At least he brings up the actual other new characters with Daisy and Ridley. Doesn't say much. Just that Daisy's Toad is blue compared to Peach's red Toad and that Ridley is going to kick butt.

And then... he proceeds to list every character. Over 60 of them. Why? Just why?
He mispronounces Ryu of course... doing the RYE-YOO pronunciation.
As well as Lucina, saying it as "Lucinda".
Palutena is mispronounced. That might just be an accent thing though.
What's weird is that he considers Sonic, Pac-Man and Mega Man as guest fighters, but lists Ryu and Bayonetta as if they're Nintendo characters and not guests. Capcom and Sega characters Chris. It's not hard.
He finally stops, drops a "super cool"

And then he shows the release date of December 7th, while saying September. You edited this Chris. You edited this and (hopefully) did multiple takes. How did you screw that up? It's right there on the screen!

He brings up the new Final Smashes. "Sonic turns into his golden form" Which he could always do since Brawl, only now it's a lot faster.
The only thing he says about the stages is the "graphically upgrades". Nothing about how they're all getting Battlefield variants. Though that would require Chris to understand the intricacies of this series, and he never will.
"Link's got his blue suit" That's the Champion's Tunic from Breath of the Wild, making it very clear you haven't bothered to play that. Then again, what's the point when there's crappy toys to show off?

"EASTER EGGS" Uh huh...
He talks about Assist Trophies, acting like they're new. Nope, been a thing since Brawl.
"Waluigi, Knuckle Joe, the Pac-Man Ghosts" None are new, all have been in past games.
"Protoman and Bass" Not assist trophies, just a part of Mega Man's Final Smash now. Also, he mispronounces Bass. He pronounces it like the fish, not the guitar. Yes I know Mega Man 8 uses the fish way but it's clearly meant to coincide with the musical motif the series has.
Lists more... I'm surprised he brought up Jeff from Earthbound. That seems like something way too obscure for him.
Of course he gushes over Bomberman as an assist trophy, and is annoyed he's not playable. My informant told me he also mentions that on Facebook and still wants Simon Belmont too. Wonder if he still thinks they're Nintendo characters.

Onto the amiibo. He just wants more.
Well there will be more, we know Inkling, Ridley and Daisy are confirmed. No word on the returning fighters but I imagine we'll see them.
He also wants new poses. Oh fuck nooooooo. At most we'll get reprints of the original Smash line. Not to mention a lot of these characters have "different poses" from different lines. Link has like 10 different amiibo.
He also believe there will be a lot more characters announced. Did you not pay attention to what Sakurai said? He said there won't be a lot of new additions, because the roster is already massive. 68 characters already. At most we'll probably get up to 70.

Yeah that was dumb. Could have shaved like 3 minutes without the padding and if he did proper research and realized many of those "new characters" aren't new or even characters. I'm just amazed at the ignorance. God I hope kids aren't getting information from this...

Think "Chris Neo" will do E3 coverage? We'll see. He inexplicably skipped last week. If there's a reason I didn't hear it from my informant.

But man, Puppet Steve is a mess of a channel. Before the Smash video, he spammed NINE FNAF videos. Are you serious?! It must be paying off for him to do that. Does YouTube still do the audience retention thing? Spamming videos only works if the audience watches each one all the way through (and DarkSideDave still doesn't get that).
His latest is a video on Minecraft Fun...ko... Pop. Oooooh god, that's like 20 different kinds of cancerous cringe. I don't think so.

Enjoy the rest of E3 everyone.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Striking the Infinity War Iron... A Month After It Came Out

So much for more Mario Game Genie crap. Probably next week.
Instead, time to cash-in on the Avengers: Infinity War hype! What do you mean it came out last month and almost everyone knows how it ends?
Leave it to Chris to be late to the party.
For the few people that haven't seen Infinity War and still want to, spoilers are ahead.

This week's video is only three and a half minutes long, that's a relief.
THANOS Destroys the Video Game Universe! Avengers Infinity War Gauntlet Battle 

Not sure why Thanos is in all caps... well click-bait.
In fact, I saw the title this morning and it was worse. It didn't have the "video game" part, just said "destroys the universe" (even though Thanos only took out half the universe). The title also had Fortnite in it. Someone must have called him out on that one, then he deleted the comment and changed it pretending like it never happened. It's the conspiracy shitbag way!
EDIT: Or maybe it did say "Video Game Universe". I just know Fortnite was there before and now it's gone. Twas a busy day.

Description says he's "trying out something new". Uh oh...
It also says "Thank you for watching the Chris NEO Retro Show" Retro? Where did this come from? Also, isn't that an oxymoron? I assume the word "Neo" in this case means "new", and yet all you've talked about is old games. Now you're calling yourself "Chris Neo Retro"? What the hell are you?

Video opens, gives a spoiler warning, claims Thanos had an impact on reality and the real world but also had one on the gaming world. Then he does an over-acting "WUUT?"

He mentions how he saw "The Infinity War" (it's called Avengers: Infinity War, you're likely confusing it with the 1992 comic that served as a sequel to The Infinity Gauntlet comic which A:IW took its inspiration)
After seeing it, he returned home and decided to play Maximum Carnage. ... As you do?
Starting it up, Spider-Man doesn't show up in the game. He believes because Spider-Man died in the movie, he was wiped out from the game. This is already stupid!
He puts in Arcade's Revenge (not a good game) and he's gone from that.
Then he freaks out because Thanos may have wiped out characters in other games. So he grabs a bunch of random NES games off his shelf. Look at all this tension! Pffffft

"It was then that I put in Super Mario Bros. for the NES" You don't have to narrate, you're not a Jojo character.
He beats Bowser and finds that Toad is gone. Then he voices Mario wondering where he is. Duuuumb. At least he said Toad's name right for once.
Then he goes to Super Mario Bros. 2 and finds Toad is gone there.
Then he goes to Paperboy and the title character is gone. Then a stupid bit where two neighbors wonder where the paperboy is and a break-dancer in the streets is run over with a car. ARE YOU LAUGHING YET?
Then he goes to Mortal Kombat (because Chris' knowledge of video games is so very limited) and somehow Thanos wiped out "the announcer". You mean Shang Tsung? He was the announcer of the first game. It gets worse because he's playing in the stage where Tsung is clearly in the background. Also his voices for Scorpion and Johnny Cage are terrible.

Then Donkey Kong, there's no more Pauline (Chris couldn't bother to learn her name). More terrible Mario voices.
Then Sonic & Knuckles (not Sonic 3 and Knuckles, just the expansion) where there's no Knuckles
Then Pac-Man with no Pac-Man, with a dumb bit where two of the ghosts leave to get ice cream (Zzzzzz)
Then TMNT on NES with Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo gone, only Raphael is left. Get it because Raphael sucks in that game. Hur hur hur hur hur hur hurfaksrjef;likesrf;laekrj;lka

"Wait a minute, what about the Duck Hunt Dog?" The one you already killed in the finale of Irate Gamer? Thanos can't kill what's already dead. Unless he reverses time and reality first but you killed the dog already.
He starts playing... with the NES controller. Where's your fucking Zapper? You can't play Duck Hunt with the controller! Did you put any thought into this video?
Anyway the dog survived and that's the joke...
He begs the Avengers to stop Thanos and save the "gaming world". Oh fuck this noise.

What a pointless video. Can't even cash in on the Avengers hype because it's over a month old. And don't tell me "It took him long time to edit", a lot of these were really easy edits! Basic shit you learn in a school course. Hell the Mortal Kombat example didn't even need editing, he just muted sound! The TMNT one was easy, he just killed off the other three Turtles first. It's not like How It Should Have Ended which actually needs time to animated, or Honest Trailers which needs the full movie.

One of the comments Chris liked (the little heart symbol that puts the comments on top) comes off really sarcastic. "Wow this was unique. Nobody has brought this up on YouTube. Good job!"
Somehow Chris could not see the obvious snark. Goes to show how dumb he really is.

Are we sure this wasn't a Puppet Steve video he somehow mixed in here? It was just as juvenile.
Speaking of *goes to check* More FNAF, more Bendy, more Minecraft, wait Mortal Kombat? *thumbnail has Steve wearing a Raiden hat* Yeah I'm not touching that.

EDIT: Also to add how lazy this video was, he didn't even bother to do the fading effect. He's just showing the aftermath. That's boring!