Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Puppet Steve Tries to Tap Into the E3 "Hype"

You guys have a good E3? I did at least.
Excited that Kingdom Hearts III finally has a release date. It's been five and a half years... I should replay the PS4 collections in preparation
Absolutely elated that the true Tales of Vesperia is finally coming over, and it's not exclusive. Yes, that one Namco.
I'm actually excited for an Assassin's Creed game. It looks different enough that I'm interested. Hope it doesn't suck.
No idea what Babylon's Fall will be, but more titles from PlatinumGames are always good.
September is gonna break me with Dragon Quest XI and Spider-Man.
Death Stranding... I think I have an idea of what it is? Though Sony's lack of release dates for a lot of their big titles is worrisome... Like their treatment of crossplay.
And of course, the showstopper that is Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Which is the subject of today's post!

Instead of Chris using his established gamer persona to talk about E3, he uses Puppet Steve instead. Oh good...
Posted last night. At least he was actually timely about it.
Super Smash Bros Ultimate Nintendo Switch E3 Full Reveal! Complete Roster New Fighters Amiibo 2018

Of course he's gotta stick that amiibo in there. Because fuck the actual game.
It's six minutes long. ... Okay.

Fake over-excitement. His wobbly table has a bunch of amiibo on it. Why not a Nintendo Swi- oh wait I don't think he even has a Switch. Too much money spent on FNAF crap I imagine.
Of course this is gonna be about CHARACTERS! And he claims they added a ton of new ones. No they didn't, they only added three (so far). Inkling, Daisy, and Ridley.
Apparently the first "new" character is the Pokemon Trainer, who he refers to as Ash Ketchum. That's not Ash, that's Red. He's very different, in that he's competent. Also, he's not a new character, he's returning from Brawl.
"You can play as all kinds of Pokemon like Charizard, Ivysaur, Squirtle, and more" Uhh no, just those three. Pokemon Trainer can only control those three. There are other Pokemon in the game, but they're not controlled by the trainer. They stand alone. Unless that's what you mean, but you're not very good at conveying your points.
Brings up the Inkling. "This brings in a lot of fun because you can play as the girl or the boy! Oh yes!" ... You have a weird idea of fun.
"There are over 8 different characters you can play in all?" As he shows all the Inkling variations. Those aren't new characters, they're different costumes. There is only one Inkling, and you can change their costume to fit your preference, or if you do an 8-player battle with only Inklings. How do you not get this?

And he continues to think there's "more characters" because of the Villager and how there's 8 different ones. Again, costumes. He also thinks they "added" this. No, this was in the last game. I know damn well you played the last game, I saw that video. You can't possibly be this ignorant. Yet somehow he is.
He's also surprised at female Pikachus. Yes Chris, gendered Pokemon have been thing since Gen 2, and the heart-tail has been a thing since Gen 4. You'd know this if you were an actual Pokemon fan and not just pretending to be one.
At least he brings up the actual other new characters with Daisy and Ridley. Doesn't say much. Just that Daisy's Toad is blue compared to Peach's red Toad and that Ridley is going to kick butt.

And then... he proceeds to list every character. Over 60 of them. Why? Just why?
He mispronounces Ryu of course... doing the RYE-YOO pronunciation.
As well as Lucina, saying it as "Lucinda".
Palutena is mispronounced. That might just be an accent thing though.
What's weird is that he considers Sonic, Pac-Man and Mega Man as guest fighters, but lists Ryu and Bayonetta as if they're Nintendo characters and not guests. Capcom and Sega characters Chris. It's not hard.
He finally stops, drops a "super cool"

And then he shows the release date of December 7th, while saying September. You edited this Chris. You edited this and (hopefully) did multiple takes. How did you screw that up? It's right there on the screen!

He brings up the new Final Smashes. "Sonic turns into his golden form" Which he could always do since Brawl, only now it's a lot faster.
The only thing he says about the stages is the "graphically upgrades". Nothing about how they're all getting Battlefield variants. Though that would require Chris to understand the intricacies of this series, and he never will.
"Link's got his blue suit" That's the Champion's Tunic from Breath of the Wild, making it very clear you haven't bothered to play that. Then again, what's the point when there's crappy toys to show off?

"EASTER EGGS" Uh huh...
He talks about Assist Trophies, acting like they're new. Nope, been a thing since Brawl.
"Waluigi, Knuckle Joe, the Pac-Man Ghosts" None are new, all have been in past games.
"Protoman and Bass" Not assist trophies, just a part of Mega Man's Final Smash now. Also, he mispronounces Bass. He pronounces it like the fish, not the guitar. Yes I know Mega Man 8 uses the fish way but it's clearly meant to coincide with the musical motif the series has.
Lists more... I'm surprised he brought up Jeff from Earthbound. That seems like something way too obscure for him.
Of course he gushes over Bomberman as an assist trophy, and is annoyed he's not playable. My informant told me he also mentions that on Facebook and still wants Simon Belmont too. Wonder if he still thinks they're Nintendo characters.

Onto the amiibo. He just wants more.
Well there will be more, we know Inkling, Ridley and Daisy are confirmed. No word on the returning fighters but I imagine we'll see them.
He also wants new poses. Oh fuck nooooooo. At most we'll get reprints of the original Smash line. Not to mention a lot of these characters have "different poses" from different lines. Link has like 10 different amiibo.
He also believe there will be a lot more characters announced. Did you not pay attention to what Sakurai said? He said there won't be a lot of new additions, because the roster is already massive. 68 characters already. At most we'll probably get up to 70.

Yeah that was dumb. Could have shaved like 3 minutes without the padding and if he did proper research and realized many of those "new characters" aren't new or even characters. I'm just amazed at the ignorance. God I hope kids aren't getting information from this...

Think "Chris Neo" will do E3 coverage? We'll see. He inexplicably skipped last week. If there's a reason I didn't hear it from my informant.

But man, Puppet Steve is a mess of a channel. Before the Smash video, he spammed NINE FNAF videos. Are you serious?! It must be paying off for him to do that. Does YouTube still do the audience retention thing? Spamming videos only works if the audience watches each one all the way through (and DarkSideDave still doesn't get that).
His latest is a video on Minecraft Fun...ko... Pop. Oooooh god, that's like 20 different kinds of cancerous cringe. I don't think so.

Enjoy the rest of E3 everyone.

47 comments:

  1. Chris has some serious memory issues...or he hopes fans have forgotten his piss poor previous Smash videos. I'm also surprised he didn't slobber all over Duck Hunt and Mr. Game & Watch like in his Wii U Smash video.

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  2. Darkside Dave is Darksyde Phil. Almighty Tevin began referring to him as Dave and the name stuck.

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    1. From what I heard, someone called him "Dave" on stream. He banned the person and got maaaad. So everyone calls him Dave now.

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    2. So it's not official, everyone just calls him that to make fun of him?

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    3. @Anonymous Blogger - I bought/read/reviewed Bores's book.

      A guy named Dave Parks liked my review so he took a screenshot and shared it on facebook. Bores saw the name "Dave" and assumed he and I were the same person (even though "Dave" isn't my real name, just an alias).

      The full story is in this blog post and it's comments.

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  3. If we're getting more characters when SSBU is released, it will be DLC. I'm betting Rex and Pyra from Xenoblade Chronicles 2.

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  4. In other news, the Irate Gamer documentary is back up on the CNM YouTube channel.

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    1. Very nice to see YouTube came to their senses. I wonder what Chris thinks about it.

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  5. THANK YOU!!! I cannot stand when people pronounce Bass' name like the fish when HIS FUCKING DOG IS NAMED TREBLE!!! I love MM8 but even I know they butchered his name in that pathetic excuse for a "Dub"

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    1. Yeah, I can't believe they messed up his name in an official game. That's "Bimmy and Jimmy" levels of fuckupery.

      I can understand people thinking it's pronounced like the fish if they aren't familiar with Megaman's musical naming theme.

      I'm sure quite a few here already know this, but Bass and Treble's original Japanese names were Forte and Gospel. Gospel's name was probably changed because of the religious meaning, and Forte was changed so they'd both be named after clefs.

      A while back I read an article that stated his name was almost Jazz, but changed it again because of the character from Transformers. Can't find a citation for that now.

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    2. Everyone makes this type of mistake. This is isn’t just about Mega Man, we all have a bad habit of mispronouncing certain words based on how they are spelled. I know you guys might not be music experts, and neither am I, but would it bother you as much if they say “Bass” instead of “Base” when talking about instruments instead of the character from Mega Man? To me it would bother even more, especially when those in this situation would supposed to be talking about actual music.

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  6. Just got back from an early screening of The Incredibles 2. Legit movie.

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  7. I'm going to do it.
    I'm going to eviscerate ROAD TO GERMANY and consummate a series with the previous two spankings: FAMILY GUY ON TRIAL.

    I chose to fry this episode because of people who don't get what the term means and just uses it to describe something they hate.

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    1. Consummate? You mean you’re going to force the episodes to have sex with each other?

      What? I just thought I’d come up with a sex joke of my own. Either way, good luck. I just want to know what term you’re referring to. I don’t think you made that clear.

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    2. By the way, I know this sounds immature, (and I admit, so does my consummate joke) butI have a feeling that if you uploaded that anti-Family Guy video today, there wouldn’t be as much fanboyism. In fact, you’d instead have MysteriousMisterEnter fanboys blindly phrasing your video.

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    3. Would inaugurate be the better word?

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    4. Don’t worry, I looked up “consummate.” That’s where I got inspiration for the joke. I know damn well you meant “complete,” or “make perfect.” It’s just that I remembered you complaining about the over abundance of sex jokes and thought “If they’re not trying, then why should I?” At least I actually tried.

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    5. That reminds me? Who’s a bigger shitbag: Peter or Cartman?

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    6. No wait, I know. Cartman is a bigger shitbag, but it works much better because we were never supposed to actually root for him. Peter on the other hand is, simply put, a designated hero.

      http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DesignatedHero

      So the real question is who’s a bigger shitbag: Peter or Brian?

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    7. Correction: I didn’t realize that shitbag means “worthless person.” I meant to say “who’s a bigger piece of shit?”

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  8. http://dlabaoaqu.blogspot.com/2018/06/family-guy-on-trial-road-to-germany.html

    If you're reading this, Dan, I'm sorry Mr. I'm-So-80's did this.

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    1. Did you read my reply in the “Not Even Game Genie Can Save You Now” post? Seth only wrote three episodes in the entire show. I’m sorry, but even if completely agree with them on the quality of certain episodes, I’m just sick of people on the web thinking that he wrote every joke for every episode. He’s not a writer, he’s an executive producer who stopped caring about the show because FOX aired three barely finished episodes without his permission while he went on a writer’s strike.

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    2. Correction: The post is called “No Game Genie Can Save These Dull Videos.”

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    3. And before you reply: yes, it’s still technically his fault that the series is going downhill. Being an executive producer, he still has to decide what makes the final cut. He also has to voice about half of the male characters. I’m just saying that other people have written these awful jokes, and ever since the strike, he just doesn’t care anymore. He strikes me more as the type of guy who really wants to stop working on the show as soon as possible.

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    4. "it’s still technically his fault that the series is going downhill."

      Much like how LJN merely approved games rather than making them on their own, I don't understand the technicality bit.

      Having that position means you can step in and say "Sorry, but I think you can do a little better with the material you're writing. You have a sound idea, but it needs retooling." does it not?

      "He strikes me more as the type of guy who really wants to stop working on the show as soon as possible."

      And so far his tactic hasn't been effective. So if trying to sabotage the series isn't going to lead to cancellation, then maybe it's best to just give the quality control the old college try.

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  9. Echoing your excitement about KH3's release date on the 13th month of 2018, also been replaying the series. Data-Luxord can burn in hell, but at least I beat him. Data-Xemnas is a cheap ass bitch tho. Not looking forward to Terra's Armor.

    Also, legit impressed with the stuff I've seen with the Resident Evil 2 Remake/Reimaging. Only wondering 2 things: 1. Why haven't they announced any preorders for PC yet, and 2. if it comes to Steam, if Capcom will stop being shits and not put Denuvo on it since that DRM doesn't fucking work since 7 got cracked within a week.

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    1. I heard EPCOT was going to be a World in this game. That’d be awesome!

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  10. OT: The very obscure Nintendo arcade game, "Sky Skipper" is coming to the Switch, via the Arcade Archives.

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  11. OT: Not sure if I’m going to see incredibles 2. I haven’t even gotten through the first movie but I guess now I have to. It seems extremely overrated though. I mean, was the Tomorrowland takeover at WDW really necessary?

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    1. I enjoyed the movie. Structurally it is more or less the same as the first one. The details are different. The villain is more devious and manipulative. There are more Supers in this film as well. That said, it is still mostly a family with struggles uniting to beat the bad guy at the end. It lacks the emotional depth that Pixar was known for but it was a fun movie to watch.

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  12. "LUCKY CHARMS Strawberry Smiggles Cereal FYE Unboxing commercial Reaction Episode Review Breakfast." Kid's character Puppet Steve uses sketch comedy to pretend to review a comedy prop for adults that's a parody of a kid's cereal on an adult cartoon. If anyone can guide us through the ironic turns of this mexatextual labyrinth, speak up.

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    1. "Hey kids! Today we're going to look at Strawberry Smiggles, based on that hilarious scene from Rick & Morty! Wasn't it funny Zombie Steve?"

      "Oh! Guts gore disembowelment!"

      "Ha ha ha, that's right Zombie Steve! Rick & Morty IS for kids!"

      I haven't seen the video (and don't intend to) but Chris is a moron.

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  13. Chris reappeared on Facebook, and wrote a long "candid" post about his ghost career. Stroking his ego that people are actually taking his book seriously and once he releases everything the haters are going to pay.

    Of course he offers no proof of this and it's completely laughable. I'm amazed he's still pursuing ghost garbage since he's openly admitted multiple times that he's losing money on it.

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    1. Yeegah... "Just wait until I can unleash my entire body of knowledge on the public. I'm going to remember the ones that have been so unkind."

      Sounds like the words of a tyrant who feels the walls closing in. But no one ever said new branches of psychology are created by years of collaborative dedication to learning and building on established knowledge.

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    2. Why would Chris pursue this crap for so long if he's lost money from it? Guess IG and Puppet Steve are attempts to recoup his losses...

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    3. He already created a new branch of psychology. What more of an impact can he have?

      In all seriousness, Chris alludes to higher-ups in the ghost hunting community suppressing the impact of Chris's book. This is a common pattern with Chris Bore-ess. James Rolfe (and later Machinima) sabotaged the Irate Gamer show and now unnamed people in the ghost hunting community are keeping Ghost Hunting 2.0 from the hands of the people. It is kind of astonishing to see the mental gymnastics that Chris will undertake to defend the low levels of success (and I am being very kind here) he has achieved.

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  14. It's pretty much Chris Bores vs. the world.

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  15. Is anyone even crazy over FNAF anymore?

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  16. So I guess irategamer.com is for sale. Strange.

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    1. not so strange. Bores didn’t register it initially so somebody hijacked it and has been holding it ransom for about $10,000. Bores had to register theirategamer.com instead.
      the funny part is that Bores has accidentally plugged irategamer.com instead, drawing attention to this.

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    2. just checked and theirategamer.com is for sale too. they’re asking $2095 (lol)

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    3. I guess it doesn't matter now since he goes by Chris Neo. Although to be honest, it kind of is a jerk move to just hold someone's website for ransom.

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