For Making This Idiotic Video, I'm Sending You to Arkham City

It’s Thanksgiving! Stuff your gullets full of bird and bread while watching family movies on TV. With the Irate Gamer though, this gives him an opportunity to release two new videos! First is, as usual, more contest shit. Giving away download codes for BurgerTime World Tour on XBLA. How sad is your company that you have to rely on the Irate Gamer to give away free copies of your game? He also says the next video is another I Rate the 80s. So you’ve just given up on the regular IG show? I blame the people that said “this is actually decent”. Turns out it was just as shit as his other stuff! The other video is an IG Neo review of *sighs* Batman: Arkham City. Watch him ruin an amazing game with his lack of knowledge. At least the game is only a month old this time. 0:07 - 0:26: The video opens with IG reminding us it’s Thanksgiving with some stock turkey sound effects playing, not a good sign if I’m getting flashbacks to that dumb Donkey Kong Country Returns video. He announces he’ll review Batman: Arkham City and gets confused wondering what that has to do with Thanksgiving. The exact same question can be asked with Donkey Kong Country Returns! You don’t have to make this Thanksgiving related. “Let’s check this bad boy out!” Ah, seems Thanksgiving is also the day where IG decides he must horribly overact his lines. 0:27 - 0:41: “If you’re a fan of the gritty Batman that was reintroduced in the past few years” Past few years? I’m looking at these comics from the 1980s and these are fairly gritty and dark. “Now the details in this game are what makes this one pop, and there are tons of them” Like? “Details” is a rather vague word Chris. You have to give details yourself and can’t rely on your stupid fans to take your word for it. 0:42 - 1:20: He brings up the villains, said they did a good job with the Penguin and that Joker and Two-Face are in it. Any mention of how Joker is voiced by Mark Hamill in his final appearance as the clown prince of crime? He’s just being really vague about this, it’s like he’s taking lines from his other reviews and replacing the names. There’s a clip of Two-Face saying “Bring out the defendant”, then a random shot of IG holding his controller, then it cuts back and Batman is facing Solomon Grundy. … That’s not how happened in the game. It was Penguin that had Grundy prisoner, not Two-Face. Two-Face was actually pretty inconsequential to the plot. After you tie him up at the beginning of the game, he doesn’t appear again until Catwoman’s final episode. For some reason, IG doesn’t like the appearance of Grundy and remarks “I guess they can’t all be winners.” Screw you, Grundy is awesome. He says that another villain done right was Catwoman. Actually, she’s more of the anti-hero Catwoman in this game considering you play as her. “She looks so much like the Gymli’s version, it’s almost eerie” … What does that mean? What‘s a Gymli? *gets note* Ooooh he means famed comic book artist Jim Lee. See, he didn’t put any space between the given name and surname and added “the” at the beginning so it sounded like he was talking about some rejected Tolkien character. Enunciation? Second takes? Pshaw, Chris Bores doesn’t need those! By the way, ever consider the characters were made to look and act like they did in the comics? It’s almost like Rocksteady gave a shit! Unlike you and this review! Seriously, no mention of Mr. Freeze, Ra’s al Ghul and his daughter Talia, Harley-Quinn, hell you don’t even say Hugo Strange’s name and he’s basically the main villain! 1:20 - 1:55: “Now in this game, you’ll be running around this huge open landscape, which is Gotham City” While he’s not a Batman villain, I feel the need to quote Lex Luthor. *ahem* WRONG! It’s not Gotham, it’s a sectioned off piece of Gotham called “Arkham City” (it’s almost like it’s in the title). If you actually LISTENED to the story, you would know this! He says exploring the city is fun because of all the sidequests. Care to name some? Like helping Bane get rid of Titan, saving hostages from the Riddler, finding his riddles, locating phones to trace Victor Zsasz’ calls before he murders his own hostages, no not going to mention them? “You get to fly around the city” Batman doesn’t fly, he glides. There’s a difference. He then brings up how they brought back the voice actors from Batman: The Animated Series here. Yes, they did that in the last game too. Care to say their names? Kevin Conroy & Mark Hamill (*cough*final appearance*cough*). “And I think Harley-Quinn as well” You’d be right if this was Arkham Asylum. However, Arleen Sorkin did not reprise her role here, instead Harley is voiced by veteran voice actress Tara Strong. Honestly, you couldn’t take five minutes in IMDB or Wikipedia to find this? 1:56 - 2:24: He mentions how you use detective work to figure out puzzles, saying that some of these puzzles are headscratchers and can even kill you. Funny how the on-screen footage isn’t showing a puzzle but basic plat forming. There are puzzles in the game that kill you, but those are mostly set-up by the Riddler. Which makes sense given how the Riddler puts Batman into various death traps. IG then says it’s okay because even dying is cool, showing a game over screen with Harley Quinn mocking you. Just like the last game, if you die the villain mocks you. 2:25 - 2:43: With 30 seconds left, IG realizes he needs to move onto the final verdict since these videos can’t be longer than 3 minutes for some reason. “I simply love Batman Arkham City, and it contains a great storyline” A storyline that he brought up at NO POINT in this video. Nice going there! He then recommends it for your Christmas list. Honestly, if THIS was the video I had to go by then I’d forget this game even exists. The video ends with… oh screw you Bores. He impersonates Batman saying “I’m the Irate Gamer”, holds a cape in front of him, delivers his dumb catchphrase and leaves. Then after the credits card, he holds a Batman action figure to the camera and says “Happy Thanksgiving”. What kind of ending was that? God that was stupid. Overall, this was just another dumb, generic IG video. He explained next to nothing about the game, anything he did mention was written to be as vague as possible, that ending was beyond horrid, and did he really have to make this a Thanksgiving episode? It’s rather easy not to make a Thanksgiving episode. No mention of map challenges, Riddler challenges, THE GADGETS, the use of stealth, playable Catwoman, DLC Nightwing and Robin, nothing about the storyline, just a big pile of “Dis game are good and… that’s it”. It’s quite obvious he never played the first game. That’s all for now. Let’s see how long it takes for that I Rate the 80s video to come out. I’m kind of hoping it’s MTV, not because I want to hear him talk about it, but I want some explanation for that out-of-nowhere ending involving A-ha’s Take On Me in the last video. I get the feeling it’s just going to be a Big Lipped Alligator Moment…