Saturday, December 29, 2018

Another Year Gone. One More Conspiracy.

2018 is coming to a close. Man, feels like it's been a long one hasn't it?
I know I've been absent for two months, and really that's due to Chris not uploading anything to "Chris Neo". I won't declare the series dead yet. Chris recently posted on Facebook that he's looking for a musician for something coming next year. I don't know if it's for Chris Neo or something else, but it's something. Wonder if he's one of those "For Exposure" jackasses.

So like last year, I'm foregoing the Year End List, I just felt there wasn't enough to talk about. Chris Neo was a big pile of boring, with not very many awful things other than a couple lies, clickbait, and sponsored content.
The majority of Chris' dumb moments came from Facebook, whether it's freaking out over "Illuminati symbols" on Nickelodeon or claiming the reason his sites were down was due to hackers. In fact, Chris started to showcase a lot more paranoia.

And it's only getting worse.
On December 19th, he posted this on Facebook.




Boy there's a lot to parse here.
It's linking to an article from ValueWalk (never heard of them either) about the teacher that criticized PewDiePie, and one of his students recorded it and posted it online causing all of Felix's fans to go after him, even finding pictures of his daughter and spreading them around. Charming people aren't they?

Chris is claiming this is the "fallout" of Felix not wanting to join Disney or "other platforms". That is not remotely close to what happened. Felix posted a video where he talked about Fiverr, and in it he paid a couple guys to hold up a sign that said "DEATH TO ALL JEWS" and laughed about it. Advertisers saw the video and freaked out, pulling their support. Maker Studios, who are owned by Disney and had been supporting Felix for years, proceeded to fire him. All this starting a chain of events leading to the Ad-pocalypse. So no Chris, he didn't reject Disney, they rejected him. I get the feeling that Chris didn't do his research, merely saw a headline that said "Disney fires PewDiePie" and since this happened a while ago, he forgot the details and just remembers two of those keywords.

And then Chris enters liar mode, you can tell because he uses certain phrases that he always uses when he lies like "I didn't want to bring it up before" and "I couldn't understand it" and "I saw the writing on the wall". He is a really bad con artist.

He claims back in 2012, Machinima wanted him to join their network. He said no because "it wasn't for him" and then claims they somehow affected his views and ad revenue. *sniff sniff* I'm smelling horseshit.
So 2012 huh, what happened then? A lot of nothing for one. He did his reviews of Silver Surfer and X-Men, he tried the whole "IG Shorts" concept, some awful IG Neo reviews including that Sonic Generations one where he didn't even play the game and just stole footage, the E-Begging spoof where he attempted to dunk on James Rolfe (and failed), oh and... Skylanders. Well, I don't think deluge started until 2013 so I can't pin it on that. Perhaps the lack of activity had something to do with it? Reading through my past posts, I note that Chris took a long time to do things. It's very likely your lack of views and ad revenue have more to do with you barely putting out content and it's not some "conspiracy" against you.
Also, what do you mean when you say "it wasn't for you"? I'd ask if he saw that Machinima gave out bad contracts, but I doubt Chris is smart enough to read through those.
And another thing, if this happened, why didn't you bring it up in your Opening Up video? Surely you could have used that to keep the crocodile tears flowing instead of blaming James Rolfe for everything. 

"I was forced to retire" In 2012? Nooo you were still making videos. You kept going for a while after that. Who are you trying to fool? Your first known "retirement" was around the end of 2014, then you ended up joining a network after all (hence your uptick in content in 2015), before slowing down and announcing a second retirement in 2017. But now you're back as Chris Neo... sort of.
See this is why telling the truth is so much better, you don't have to keep track of all the stories you made up.

So we can see the moment it happened? Let's see...checking Socialblade... unfortunately I can't seem to view statistics older than January 2016, but I did notice a substantial drop around October and November 2016. What happened here? *checks* Oh that's right, you deleted a ton of your videos! When you delete your videos, the overall view count goes down, and thus your channel loses notability with advertisers. But this happened in 2016, you're talking about something that happened in 2012. Wait, are you getting your dates mixed up again? Even so, Machinima had nothing to do with those views dropping, you did it yourself. You pulled the trigger and that's why there's a bullet in your foot.

Then he acts all shocked that... Machinima is a part of YouTube! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! Oh wait, anyone with a brain could figure that out.
"It was very eye opening" Another one of his usual liar phrases.
Then he tries to warn us that there's some secret YouTube cabals that are keeping the gamer down and unable to "flurish". Keeping gamers down? I know what must be done! We must post pictures of the Joker and yell "GAMERS RISE UP!" No wait that's fucking stupid.
Also, it's spelled "flourish".
I just realized, what does any of this have to do with the teacher that criticized PewDiePie? Chris is such a narcissist, somehow making it all about himself.

Oh wait, but there's more. An old friend of Chris decided to contribute to the conversation.


For those that don't remember, Nick Huggett is SWAGshow. One of the only YouTube producers willing to work with Chris. How's his YouTube career? *looks* ... Yeah I think it's just a hobby for him now.
You're surprised that Machinma can monetize trailers? You realize they're essentially a corporation and thus they have a little more leeway when it comes to that. They're not the only ones that do it either. IGN, GameXplain, GameSpot, official Nintendo, Playstation, Xbox channels, they can all monetize trailers. The "little guy" can't because they don't own the content. They're just reposting a trailer. Now if they were to, say, do a trailer analysis or (god forbid) a reaction, then they could attempt to monetize. That puts it in the realm of transformative work, which really needs an overhaul in the age of the internet.
EDIT: Yes I know those channels don't own the trailers either but there's a difference between companies and the little guy. 

What really gets me are Chris' next two comments.
"I could write a book about this" Please do! I want to see this shit, to see how badly you explain and mishandle everything. If it's anything like Ghost Hunting 2.0, it's going to be a glorious disaster.
Now this I don't get. He claims people were using E3 as a "cashcow" in 2010 and 11. ... What? Pretty sure people have been using E3 as a "cashcow" since *checks notes* 1995. You know, when it began. What are you talking about?
Exclusives? Pretty sure E3 was quite open then, and it's more open now.

Below that, he states he could do a mini-series about all of this, but he would be "burning bridges". You still have bridges? Fuck off with this Chris, if anything you sound more and more like Alex Jones, at least you have still have YouTube.
Really though, it's clear you still need it. Minecraft Puppet Steve now has over 450k subscribers, though the views aren't doing too hot lately. Still better than the views on Chris Neo. After two months, your latest video hasn't reached 15k views.

It sounds like Chris is just getting more and more paranoid. Like he's adopting the idea that his lack of success on YouTube isn't his fault, but someone else. We've seen this before too.

I'm sorry to end the year with a post like this. Hopefully 2019 brings us better material to work with. Maybe Chris will realize the Neo content is boring and go back to being terrible as opposed to dull. Happy New Year everyone.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

When All You Have Left is Shilling Crappy Arcade Cabinets

We’ve got one hell of a video today. A near 13 minute pile of shilling crap, regurgitated from Puppet Steve.
Bores looks at one of those $350 arcade cabinets from Arcade1Up that are a complete waste of money as you can play these games elsewhere.
Specifically, he looks at the one that offers Asteroids, Major Havoc, Lunar Lander, and Tempest in one machine. Normally I’m all about supporting official releases, but over $300 for four really old titles… yeah go MAME if you really want that.
I should mention that there was a commercial for these Arcade cabinets that showed off various shills and appearances on daytime talk shows, and one such shill was Puppet Steve. So for a brief moment, he was in a YouTube commercial. It's gone now.

Let’s dig in.

He continues claiming he got exclusive coverage (he really should learn what that word means). Then he calls himself a “YouTube influencer”. Holy crap an actually funny joke! … Oh wait he was serious? Chris the only thing you influence is how NOT to make a gaming review show, how NOT to run a YouTube channel, and how NOT to handle drama.
He gushes over the fact it has a start-up screen. … This is the content.
“I’m sure everyone bought the Street Fighter one” No they didn’t. Again, these things are expensive.
States he’s not a Street Fighter fan. You’re not a video game fan period, I think we’ve long established that.
He then claims he’s a huge fan of Tempest. You’re going to see why that’s a big lie.
The way he keeps hitting the cabinet indicates it’s not made of a solid material. I can hear hollow thwacking.
Calls his room his “little game dungeon” with an “Avengers corner” with a bunch of comic book statues. How much did those statues cost Chris? Surely that money could have gone towards continuing Irate Gamer since before you said it was too expensive to keep going. It’s almost like you’re a massive pathological liar.

He describes the appearance of the machine. There’s no script is there?
He says he’s not familiar with Lunar Lander and Major Havoc.
Continues saying he only got the cabinet for Tempest. Claiming he played it all the time as a kid. Riiiiiiiight…
“You toggle that with this little toggle button” Oh my god…
“I’m sure with the other consoles- with the other cabinets” What’s weird is that this video is edited. There’s cuts and everything. Yet he’s leaving in clear mistakes, points where he should of said “I messed that up, I need to do another take”. So, no script, no effort, just pure shilling. I’m only 3 minutes in.

“You can’t play Tempest without this knob” Sure you can, just readjust the controls
Starts with Tempest, once again reminding us it’s his favorite. Jeeeeez
“It actually saves your high scores” WOW SO INNOVATIVE! Who would care about that?
He plays… and yeah he’s pretty terrible. He just keeps mashing the button, and dies really early. This is why I said he was lying earlier. I doubt he’s played this game at all.
Says the emulation is good because “people asked”, says the control is tight, but then claims the original had a roller ball. But you said earlier it was the knob. Editing Chris!
Then says he doesn’t have a problem with the controls. Gotta get those shill bucks.

Moves onto Asteroids. Calls it the most popular game on this console, then says to himself that it’s not a console. Were you on something when you recorded this?
Now here’s really weird cut. He tries to say that the games are all vector graphics, but in the middle of “graphics”, it cuts and you hear him say “games”. What happened here? How did you not notice this?
Then he says he doesn’t know how long he wants the audience to watch him play, as it would get boring. Well it’s already boring because it’s you Chris. But even then, why would you include that line? Do you have any idea what you were doing here?
He dies, let’s out an exaggerated “oh come on”, then look at the camera and says “crap like that takes me bbipjfoijfp;k” No joke, he just kind slurs the last part. Are you drunk?

Moves onto Major Havoc.
Claims the graphics are “a lot more advanced”. No not really, it’s still vector graphics.
Because he doesn’t know the game, he can’t say if it’s the same. Maybe you should have done some RESEARCH. I know you’re allergic to it and all but come on.
Boring gameplay… boring gameplay…
At one point it just cuts to black. Did he forget something here?
He also seems to fast-forward at points. I could be wrong.

Moves onto Lunar Lander
“I don’t know how to play this and what the point is” *looks at title* Gee, I wonder what the point of this game is.
He definitely fast forwards here. Dies once and gives up.

He’s done with these games. Yet somehow there’s still four more minutes of video. Hoo boy…
He shows a flier he got with the other cabinets. He gushes over the fact it’s labeled “Series One”, meaning there’s more in the works. More wastes of money.
And then some not-so-humble bragging about how he’s on good terms with someone at the company. But he clearly can’t remember who because he’s not sure if they’re a PR person or the fucking CEO. See, this feels like a lie. A gigantic can’t get your story straight lie.
He “confirms” Series Two is happening (not a shock), and that he told him that “lots of people” (aka just you) would love Ninja Turtles. That’s not going to happen, it’s a massive web of rights issues that this company more than likely doesn’t want to deal with.
“He didn’t come out and confirm it, but he did say they’re working on it”. That sounds more like a white lie to get you to go away. Something a parent tells their kid when they’re being annoying.
Then… at the 10 minute mark, three green circles show up out of nowhere. I have no idea why they showed up, I don’t think Chris ever mentions them. They’re just there. Did Chris also edit this while drunk? I mean he sounds drunk in the video but behind the scenes…
He also want the Simpsons arcade game. Again, far too many rights issues. Come on!
He claims they have enough pre-sales to sell out by November. I have trouble believing that. Chris, why don’t you mention the price?
He then brings up that these cabinets are hackable. Okay… pretty sure anyone that would want to do something like that has better tools for it. Why are you bringing this up?
He claims that they’re going to be even harder to find once “the hackers” open it up. You mean like how the PSP was harder to find when they broke it? Oh wait…

He brings up how the cabinets have different control configurations depending on the game. Like the Centipede one has a roller ball (or trackball)  but he clearly struggles trying to remember the name. Yeah it’s this moment that really makes me think he’s drunk, or on something. You couldn’t script this?
Claims there’s a secret cabinet. That’s dumb.
Still wants a TMNT cabinet. It won’t happen!
He also wants Gauntlet Legends. Weird…

And then some more delusion. He claims that Arcade1up will be looking at the comments of this video for suggestions. There’s barely any views on this, I don’t think anyone cares.

How much do these cost Chris? At no point did you mention the price. This was some terrible shilling. What a mess of a video.

What are you even trying to accomplish Chris? What is the goal of “Chris Neo”? It’s clear to me that you have no idea what you’re doing, or what you want. You’re not even scripting things, or even properly editing them. You leave in mistakes and the whole thing comes off as unprofessional.
Either give up, or quit Puppet Steve and focus on this. But then again, Puppet Steve has given you over 400k subscribers, a goal you never got close to with Irate Gamer. That’s a lot of dumb kids.

The delusion continues over on Facebook as he says he talked to a TV executive about putting his ghost crap on TV. Chris… give that up. You’re not going to get your stupid paranormal shit on TV, and by some miracle you do it’s going to be on some channel that barely gets viewers. Nobody bought your book, nobody bought your Haunted Investigators or Pursuit of the Paranormal, nobody cares.

Over on Puppet Steve, he recently did a video on Fortnite. Well, a plushie of the Loot Llama. Bravo Chris, coming into Fortnite MONTHS late. Chris really knows how to strike the iron while it’s hot. Just like his Thanos video a month after Infinity War came out.
Also some more FNAF cereal. I will never understand his obsession with cereal.

That’s it for me. Enjoy yourselves everyone.

Saturday, September 29, 2018

The End of the Mario Glitch Road. Why Did This Take So Long?

Lo and behold, after over three months, Chris finally uploaded the last video in his stupid Mario Game Genie series. A series nobody asked for, and probably would have been better if he looked at something other than Super Mario Bros.
So why did this take so long? Chris claimed that he was on "summer hiatus" for his family. Few things. Chris, you're not a mainstream TV show, you don't get the luxury of summer hiatuses. The only reason we know you were on hiatus was someone asking about it in the COMMENTS of your latest video. If you were going to go on break, make a video about it or something. Don't leave people in the dark, otherwise people will jump ship (again). Also, using you family as an excuse is wearing thin since we know you're posting bundles and bundles of Puppet Steve videos. Stop pretending you're not Puppet Steve.

So let's see why this last video took around a month to make. At least going by his comments on Facebook.

Intro intro intro...
When the camera cuts to him, his name pops up at the bottom. Only it's "Chris Neo". That just seems half-assed, that your "new character" is just yourself with a different last name. It would be like calling myself "Daniel Morpheus"
Chris makes sure to emphasize that this code is slightly different. Woo?
World P. A cloud level that you swim in. Also has enemies. At least he says Koopa Troopas correctly for once. The world loops.
"I don't have time for this garbage" I have more fucking Bendy and FNAF toys to throw in front of my camera!
World Q. It's World 2-2 but it's colored differently and you can swim through it bypassing the Cheep-Cheeps. Chris calls it neon and compares it to his stupid glasses. Ugh. He also claims the new colors and swimming make it a new level. NO IT DOESN'T! It's just 2-2 but a little different! Come on!
He shows World Q-2, but it's just that same underwater level from previous videos.
World R.  It's World 3-1. Only if you die, you don't start at a proper checkpoint. Zzzz...
World S. It's World 8-1. Could have cut this out
World T. A cloud level with the clouds taking up 2/3rds of the screen. Various enemies appear too. But it can't be complete due to a pipe on the way. "I've got a princess to save!" Stop
World U. It's World G. Again, could have cut this out.
World V. Another repeat level. This video does not have to be 7 minutes long.
World W. It freezes. Well at least it wasn't a repeat so that's worth showing. ... I guess
New code. First is World _. Yeah. It's another repeat. The rest of the combinations lead to nothing new. For some reason he starts playing Dwelling of Doom from Simon's Quest (when you travel through the mansions). How random.
Another new code. Now for World X. It's the World 8 castle.
World Y. It's World G again. Seriously so much to cut. Then a dumb joke where he "doesn't give it the dignity of finishing the level" and tells him to die from the timer running out. Are you trying to be tough?
World Z! Unfortunately there's still two minutes. It's the same level. Pointless!
The rest of the combinations don't bring much new. A return to Minus World, more levels from the game and past codes. Then... oh god we're back to these. The last one suddenly transports Mario into The Legend of Zelda. Are you fucking kidding me? We're back to these lame jokes? I thought you "rebooted" Irate Gamer to avoid those jokes? You don't know what you want.

He notes how the code is basically the same through only changing parts of the third line. Continues calling them "hidden" (they're not) and that he "stumbled across this" (you didn't, this has been known for years!)
Finally it's over!

Again, what was the point of this series? To show how Game Genie screws with a game? Yeah, we all know that. We all know that there's dangers of using a cheating device.
You can tell that his viewers are casual as fuck because so many of them are surprised by this or convinced that these are hidden. This is why they need to watch someone with actual knowledge and information, not a huckster that clearly doesn't know better.

I don't know what's going to happen with Chris Neo at this point. Hopefully not another series that doesn't take four months to finish even though it could have been done in one video. No seriously, why wasn't this one video?

Over on Puppet Steve, the same old shit. More FNAF, more Bendy, lots of cereal, more Cuphead. He's been trying to cash in on Baldi's Basics, the latest spoopy game that spazzy YouTubers overreact to for views, but this shit is terrible even by the standards of those games. Have our standards gotten so low?

Chris is also trying to push more ghost shit. Claims he had another breakthrough. Look just because you had an extra large dump in the toilet compared to the last one, doesn't mean you had a breakthrough. ... What? His musings on ghosts may as well be compared to defecation.

He just posted on Facebook that he got Mega Man 11. It's more likely he got a demo. Can't wait for him to review the box on Puppet Steve. The game? Fuck that, the box is the real deal! Just like the Avengers Infinity War box. The movie? Naaah I need that box!

And that's it for me. See you whenever.

Friday, August 10, 2018

The Tinfoil Gets Tighter

No, still nothing on "Chris Neo" (yet). However, he did post something on Facebook that needs to be seen.





For those that can't read it, here's the text. Complete with typos.

"If you've been wondering why my paranormal website has been offline for so long, well we've been sifting through the code and I just found out it was hacked. The timing of this event seemed to have occured after I called out the celebs in the paranormal field for suppressing my new methods. So this is how it is eh? One has to have alot of insecurities if you feel you need to try and silence my work this way. A big special thanks to the fans that keep tweeting and tagging these paranormal celebs of my existence and pushing my work on them. I've met them all and gauged their reactions to me and my research and I can tell it annoys them to no end that I broke down their entire western ghost hunting approach through a pyschological mindset and pasted it back together in a way that they cannot duplicate so easily. And you'll be happy to know, I've made a huge breakthrough this summer with investigating that I haven't even made public. Very exciting stuff that I even can't talk about yet since I'm still breaking down all the nuiances. Thank you for your continued support."

Oh... wow. Fucking wow.

Turns out he didn't let his domain just lapse, no it was HACKED! Right after he called out the "eeeevil" celebs! This can't be real.
How about naming these celebrities Chris? Are you afraid or are you just full of shit? You do this all the time, like those "hundreds of YouTubers" from 2006/07 you watched as inspiration instead of the AVGN. It's always a lot of people but nobody in particular. That Alex Jones influence is really showing itself. "It's never my fault, it's always the fault of someone else."

You say you met these people and they were annoyed with you? How did you know that? Could you tell from their expression, tone or demeanor? Perhaps they were annoyed with something else. Like how this shitheel from Ohio is coming in with these long debunked methods and is trying to pass them off as new. They probably even told you that but you didn't listen because you can't take criticism.
"Cannot duplicate easily"? What's so hard? Learning to ask if being dead is different from being alive? Learning which beeps on your overpriced devices are different? You don't do anything revolutionary or different!

How did you know it was hacked? Was there something specific that warned you? You gave no indication of being a computer or code expert. This is sounding more and more like an excuse for being lazy and forgetting to pay the domain name. I like to think that if someone hacked you, they wouldn't just take it down. They'd replace the page with like Illuminati shit, though your tinfoil wearing ass would probably think it was legit considering your hilarious meltdown over Nickelodeon.

What "experts" are your "fans" tweeting at? Give us names!

So you say you made a huge breakthrough this summer. Really?: You sure it wasn't filled with making stupid videos about toys? Videos like his latest "PENNYWISE IT Movie FUNKO CEREAL UNBOXING! NECA Exclusive Mini Pop Action Figure SERIES 2"
... Oh my god are you serious? Oh yeah, that lovable kids movie It. Featuring such child-friendly scenes like an opening with a 7 year old getting his arm torn off. Seriously what is it with Funko making these joke cereals on violent properties? At least with Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street they haven't had movies in years.

Continued support huh? You have over 3000 Facebook friends, and yet as of this post, only 4 of them commented. Makes me wonder how many are just inactive accounts, I know I gave up Facebook. 

So what's your favorite brand of foil Chris? The old classic Reynolds, the cheaper Walmart, or maybe something local?

Monday, August 6, 2018

It's been a month

Chris posted his last "Neo" video on July 6th. It is now August 6th. What the hell?
It can not be that hard to put together a video on Mario Game Genie codes, especially the way he does it. He opens his emulator, turns on the game, inputs the Game Genie code, and records the result. Then he edits it down with some boring reaction shots. How does that take a long time? A competent editor could do it in like a day.

And once again, your family is not an excuse. Not when you make 32(!) Puppet Steve videos and 3 Zombie Steve videos in that span of time.
You're probably wondering why I keep mentioning his "family" excuse? That's what he wrote on his site, that he'll sometimes miss a week because of his family responsibilities. I'd show you... except Chris let his site domain lapse again. Second time he's done it this year (unless I missed some instances). How does that keep happening? Is he trying to let it die?

You know Chris, you can tell people you're doing Puppet Steve, and "Chris Neo" is merely a hobby. ... A hobby you get paid for since the videos are sponsored. I'd say ad revenue too but those videos are barely getting views. Too bad you no longer have an audience of Charlies.

But hey, who has time to renew domains or finish promises when there's videos to be made about... Rampage Funko Pops. That movie came out four months ago Chris, way to be relevant. Though looking at the thumbnail they seem more based on the game but that's besides the point, it's clear he made the video in relation to the movie, yet the movie came out four months ago. It already got an Honest Trailer.

Chris also opened a new Puppet Steve store (separate from the Etsy one that sells custom Lego minifigs and Fidget Spi- oh wait, those are gone now hahaha). This store sells t-shirts. Including designs like a logo, "Puppet-Tastic", "Super Awesome!" (cringe), "My Kids Love Puppet Steve" (no parent would be caught dead wearing that), "My Parents Watch Puppet Steve" (no parent would let their child wear that in public) and a forced meme "Zombie Steve, Stop Eating my Figures" (it's the worst selling shirt). Interesting to note how these are all words, with no characters on them. Perhaps someone is afraid of the giant Seattle-based corporate monster that's looming over you and could possibly shut you down at anytime?
There's also a gift card. It's the most popular item. What's weird is that the second and third most popular items are shirts for girls. Are girls a big part of Puppet Steve's audience? Perhaps he should capitalize on it by letting his step-daughter do more videos. She hasn't shown up in a long time. Perhaps he saw me praising her and didn't want her stealing the limelight? Too bad Chris, she knows more than you and she's only a kid.

I also noticed Chris added another channel to his "Featured" section. He didn't make it, it's someone called "Funky Toy Trunk". He added it because he guest-stars in a video. What is this channel? "Animated" Funko Pop videos, and I'm being generous in calling them animated because it moves like South Park. I'm feeling all that cancer.
He shows up in a video playing Funko Pop Steve as he meets... The Tick. Oh yeah, because kids today know who The Tick is. I know there's an Amazon Prime show but I doubt kids watch that.

In non-Puppet Steve news
I added this to the Lost Media Wiki: https://lostmediawiki.com/Hardcore_Pawn_(unreleased_%22Chris_Bores%22_episode_of_reality_show;_existence_unconfirmed;_2015)
A page about his supposed Hardcore Pawn appearance. I marked it as "Existence Unconfirmed" as Chris is the only source of this, and we know he has a history of lying. Maybe a crewman or producer could confirm if the footage exists. But as far as we know, it's all a story.

Not much on Facebook. He brings up The Last Jedi and that he thought it was confusing (no not really, it was flawed but the movie was not confusing). Along with how Will Smith is getting a YouTube channel and "the little guy" is being left behind.  I've already ranted enough about this....

So do you think Chris is ever going to make that last Game Genie video? Or is he going to abandon Chris Neo and just let it die without saying anything? We shall see. But I'm sure he'll find a scapegoat like he has before. "James Rolfe undermined me by posting about the Colecovision when I was going to do that!"

Saturday, July 7, 2018

An Atari Artbook Because Nobody is Watching

Another week goes by where he doesn't make a video, leading to a two week wait. No excuse again, and "fatherhood" is still not an excuse because he posted 13(!) Puppet Steve videos in that time. Two were about cereal. I am not kidding, even when trying to hide his past, he still does stupid things from that time.

New video, and it's not the final part of Mario Game Genie. Those videos can NOT be hard to make, just put in the code and record the results.
Instead we get: Atari VCS Video Game Art Book - History of Cartridges, Flyers, Games 2600, 7800 Chris NEO
Ah jeez that is a messy title. Trying to stuff as many trending words as possible?

Video is a little under seven minutes.

"I know I like to spend a lot of time on the NES system" Redundant. Nintendo Entertainment System System? Should have done a second take Chris.
Says they're going to check out something cool for the Atari and holds up a 7800 controller. That's false advertising, he's not looking at a game.

Intro

Claims that the Atari was one of the first systems he ever "picked up and played" I don't believe you.
He shows the book. See the cover? Now look at the thumbnail Chris chose for the video. Why didn't Chris use the book's cover? Why did he go for the controversial E.T. game? Is it part of his weird clickbait strategy? "Nobody will care if I use the cover, but if I show one of the games I reviewed in the past and one that's notable" Please, it's not like anyone is watching this.

He comments that they had "the most amazing artists" do the artwork for the covers. While showing Atari 7800 games in grayscale, which do not do a good job of showing off the artwork. Dumbass Chris, could have gone with 2600 games but instead did something stupid. As usual. Not to mention his copy of Centipede has a huge rip in it. Not even a minute in...
"If you pick up any of these titles, you'll just be blasted with it" This is referring to the "cool art". Does Chris ever look over what he writes?

Blah blah blah blah...
Oh wow he brings up History of Video Games. Good thing that's dead. Why bring that up but refuse to mention Irate Gamer by name?

Oh... I see what this video is. He's done videos like this before. All he does is skim through a book and occasionally comment on something. I know he did that with an Assassin's Creed art book.
Yeah, this isn't worth covering. I'm sorry.

I think it's safe to say that "Chris Neo" has been a bust. The views have been abysmal, he barely gets comments about the videos on Facebook, the schedule has been inconsistent, even his websites are dead. As in they've been suspended.
Why did Chris even bring this back to begin with? Apparently people have been begging for it, but now that it's back, nobody is watching. Hell, it took over a month for his Thanos video to get over 10k views. Maybe people don't like this even more boring direction? Maybe people heard that Chris is a crazy conspiracy theorist and want nothing to do with that? Who knows.

Sorry for the weak post.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

More Mario Game Genie Crap

After three weeks of no videos with no explanations to his absence, Chris finally put out a new one. It's also the promised follow-up to the last Mario Game Genie video, which he posted a month ago. Smoooooth.
He claims on his site that he can't always promise videos because of "fatherhood", and yet in the time since the stupid Thanos video, he has posted 25 Puppet Steve videos! You're lying Chris, and I don't know why. Just be truthful, say this is a hobby and you're far more dedicated to dangling keys in front of kids now.

Anyway, this one is called: Super Mario Bros NES Secret Hidden World H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O - Chris NEO Nintendo Game Genie Hack

Thankfully it's only 5:23 (so a little under five minutes excluding the sponsorship). But that only makes me question how this took a month to get out. This can't be that hard, just type in Game Genie codes, record the results, and edit. You don't even need the console, just use an emulator (which is probably what he's been using)

I am never going to get used to the stupid glasses.
"Locked away" Again, not locked away, just rewritten code.
"I've been playing the game Super Mario Bros since 1986" Add 20 years to that.
Recaps the previous video, keeps going on about how they're hidden and locked away. Again, that's not how it works.

First code, leads to World H-1. A looping water world a/la Minus World. Woo...
 Second code, I-1. Exact same thing as 3-3 only it loops. Floating shell, "funny" reaction face.
Third code, J-1. It's the same as D-1. Why did you make this video Chris? There's nothing interesting here.
Fourth code, K-1. Looks like a standard level with weird enemy placement. "I just love finding worlds like these" You didn't find it! Seriously, this is like shit-tier Super Mario Maker trash.
"Only in these lost worlds" Ugggggh
L-1 is just 8-1
M-1 is 3-3 again. Though he claims it's World H instead of World I. Editing? What's that?
N-1 is another World 8 stage an O-1 is something from the last video. This is boring. Only morons would think this is fascinating.
He tries other combos, most of them are just levels from the game, one is a blank screen. Chris does a really weak-ass facepalm. The kind that says "It took me 40 takes to do this!"
He does one more code leading to a glitchy world. One that surprisingly doesn't crash.
And he ends the video saying there's still more to come. Oh my god make it stop! Nobody cares about this! The views certainly reflect that. They really didn't care for your stupid Thanos video either, it still hasn't reached 10,000 views. You were too late! You would have gotten tons of views if you made that within a week of Infinity War.

So how long until the last stupid Game Genie video comes out? A week? A month? Just have to wait and see.

Over on Puppet Steve, Chris still doesn't understand that Rick & Morty isn't for kids as he looks at a box of Strawberry Smiggles, a prop box from FYE (according to an Amazon review, it's all marshmallows). For those unaware, this is referencing a scene where they watch Interdimensional Cable and see a commercial for said cereal. Involving a leprechaun with rabbit ears eating Strawberry Smiggles, only for a pair of dead-eye kids to hold him down, cut open his stomach, and eat the cereal found in his entrails. Fun for kids! Chris your obsession with cereal blinds you so much.
He also did a few Incredibles II videos (one with Bowser for some reason), more FNAF bootlegs (nobody cares), a video on Crash Bandicoot mini-figures (I imagine he's never played a Crash game, especially when hack review sites freaked out over how hard it was when playing the N Sane Trilogy), and a weird video that's described as FNAF plushies fighting the Devil from Cuphead over candy. Did someone from the Elsagate crowd ghost-write that?

Buuuut that's not all, we have a ghost update! Over on Facebook, Chris got "candid" and talked about his book. How people are taking it seriously, how "the higher-ups of the ghost community" are somehow suppressing his book and keeping people from reading it, and that once all his ghost knowledge gets out, all those nasty haters are going to pay. This is just a summary, the full thing is badly-written wall of text.

Wow. You really think there's a shady group of ghost experts that are so afraid of you that they're purposely suppressing the book from getting out there? Chris, you're delusional. There's no "paranormal deep state" plotting against you. You claim this whenever things don't go you way. Like how you claimed James Rolfe was under-cutting you, or how Machinima was working against your channel. There's nobody trying to hide your book, you're just an asshole and a terrible author. By chance someone finds your book on Amazon, they'll read the reviews and find the more helpful ones are negative. Or they'll learn about your book on TVTropes' "So Bad It's Horrible" page, which gives a nice little summary about how much of an egotistical little shitbird you are.

Chris, give up on the ghosts. There's nothing there, and if there was, someone much smarter than you would have figured it out.

See you when I see you.