Saturday, May 16, 2020

The Fourth Comeback. I Think... I've Lost Count.

The day has finally arrived. After the failure of Chris Neo and GeekTime TNG, Bores realized that there is only one thing he can do for people to take him “seriously”. Clearly ghosts were not going to cut it, so it meant bringing back the Irate Gamer. For at least one video, or so he claims. He changed his Etsy store to be about Irate Gamer (because apparently he had an Etsy store, and I know it’s old because there’s reviews from 2015) and changed his YouTube banner and channel name to be Irate Gamer related. He also changed his icon on YouTube and Facebook into something... horrifying.


So yeah, I don’t think this is going to just be a “one-time deal”. We shall see!

The Irate Gamer’s big comeback will be about Ghostbusters on NES. Because that hasn’t been talked about to death. Seriously, there’s hundreds of terrible NES games, as well as terrible games on other consoles. Do something that isn’t as well known. Then again, that likely won’t bring in the views.
The whole thing is 20 minutes long, so let’s get to it! Screw the timestamps.

Bringing back the theme song. Maybe after this Chris will pay to get a real theme made and not just use a royalty free track? Pffft probably not.
Hold on. When it shows the credit “Starring Chris Bores”, a smaller credit saying “Inspired by AVGN” shows up. Really? You’re doing this now? 13 years after everyone called you a joke? It didn’t work for Game Dude, and it won’t work for you.

The episode proper opens recapping the ending to the Duck Hunt video, with Bores uppercutting the dog into the Mortal Kombat Pit. Then it cuts back to his house where he mounted the dog’s head on his wall like a hunter. Classy…
Also, it’s clear he’s no longer on his old set, but he still uses the old house picture he used from the pre-retirement days. You’re not fooling anyone.
He decides to play Zelda II but doesn’t have the manual. You don’t need the instructions for that game, it’s really easy to figure out (just hard to get through). Also, he says “instruction manual” but he’s holding issues of Nintendo Power. Is the joke that Nintendo Power is like a manual but tells you the answers?
“Oh well, this game can’t be that hard right?” He says as it fades to black and we get an Avengers: Endgame reference. The “Five Years Later” transition.
Wait, it's only been four years since the Duck Hunt review. Something is wrong here...

Hold on, this is literally just footage from the movie. Slightly edited to be gaming related as the “Where do we go, now that they’re gone?” poster is edited to have an NES controller.
Then we see Scott Lang. Really Chris? You’re going to be this lazy?
Then we see edited missing posters of really old YouTube “angry” game reviewers. Armake21, Jedite1, Spoony (he’s still around, he’s just a depressed mess that cries on Twitter all day), UrinatingTree (also still around, he does sports commentary instead), Sly Dog Studios (I don’t think he was ever that type of reviewer), and PlayItBogart (he, or rather she, is still around, as a drag queen streamer)

Then a newspaper stating that the Angry Video Game Nerd is searching for the missing reviewers. Doubtful. If anything, he’ll just work with current content creators like Scott the Woz or Arlo or Matt McMuscles. Too bad Chris’ head is too deep in the sand to know about NEW creators.
Then it shows IG’s missing poster, which is Chris’ head super-imposed on the adult baby picture shown on his Enyclopedia Dramatica page. … Is this Chris’ attempt at being self-aware? After that ghost video, I didn’t think he was capable of that.

It cuts to Chris fighting Dark Link and beating him. “It took me four years to beat that?!” Four years? But earlier it said five years. Were you so desperate to make an Avengers reference that you didn’t take continuity into account? Also, how shit are you to take four years to beat Zelda II? You’re not a child. Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t rely on Game Genie since you always did that. If that’s your “in-universe” excuse for not making anything for four years, that’s really damn lame.

Because the cartridge is gold, he gives the game a “golden shower”. So, you’re just going to double down on being an AVGN clone? Right down to the toilet humor? I think he’s given up.

As that’s happening, the Ghostbusters NES cartridge begins moving and falls off the shelf. But then in the next shot it’s floating. Chris says “no” only to get hit by it. More of this huh? After some more floating, sudden Ernie Hudson cameo! It turns out I was right, in that this was literally phoned in. In fact, all Chris did was go to Cameo.com and ordered a message for $135 and stuck it into his video. You can tell because he mentions Oz and The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, which he does in all his Cameo.com videos. So yeah, this “big deal” Chris made? Not a big deal if you have $135 to spare. I guess anything to add some legitimacy.
In fact, you too can get Ernie Hudson in your video if you go to this link: https://www.cameo.com/kirbyzook
Ernie asks him to review the game. He doesn’t even say NES, so if I were in that spot, I would exploit a loophole review the 2009 game.

“Ghostbusters is one of my favorite movies from the 1980’s” *looks at your entire stupid ghost hunting career* You don’t say.
He explains the movie… shows some footage. Hope he’s not planning to put this on a DVD. Sony and Disney would end him.
Says the game sucks, “pixelated nightmare”, blah blah blah.
Before he can talk about the game, he has to go back to 1984 to talk about the Atari version, but before he do that, he has to go back to 1983 to talk about the movie when it was greenlit. Wait, why? What does that have to do with the game?

So, he talks about how the movie’s production was rushed, and how the Atari game’s production was also rushed. Only given six weeks. Comparing it to how E.T. suffered the same fate. For some reason when he shows E.T. footage, he plays the Pac-Man death sound. Still doing random unrelated game sounds I see.
Okay what did any of that have to do with this? I know the NES game is a remake of the Atari game, but you didn’t have to bring up the movie’s production. Feels like Chris really wanted that 20 minute runtime so he padded it out. Just like with Puppet Steve.

Now he starts looking at the Atari 2600 game. Isn’t this supposed to be about the NES game?
He complains about the shop menu, the amount of driving, calls the Ecto-1 in game a “dick” (he really is acting more like Game Dude now), and he’s annoyed at the idea at how this was almost a pure driving game. Chris, you have to consider limitations at the time. There were only a few things you could do on Atari. Then he plays another movie clip (all aboard the demonetization express).
By the way, it wasn’t a “Ghostbusters driving game”. It was another concept called Car Wars that they turned into a Ghostbusters game. Happens all the time in gaming. Like how Arc Hound became Contra Force, or an original game from Good-Feel starring Prince Fluff (Fluff’s Yarn) became Kirby’s Epic Yarn.

Then onto 1988 which “coincidentally” was the year Nintendo Power started. … Okay what’s the point of bringing that up? Did you just want to show off that you have the first issue?
“Nintendo was gaining steam” The NES has been on store shelves for three years now. Fairly sure they’ve been “gaining” for a while. Sorry, but this just feels weirdly written.
“The Nintendo was gaining popularity” Yeah that’s what you already said. Wouldn't be Bores without some redundancy...
He comments that you can’t polish a turd, then brings up Zelda II again. This would be more effective if we actually watched you play it, and not just beat the final boss and then urinate on it. At least the Nerd would show off various problems with a game before he would take a dump on it.

7 minutes 10 seconds in, he finally gets to the game. I’m getting Goonies II flashbacks.
“We’re going to have to exorcise the shit out of this satanic hellspawn of a game” HIRE ME TOLEDO! I CAN CLEANSE YOUR HOMES!
Then he goes on about how it’s nothing like the movie. Listing aspects of it like characters and scenes. Yes, we know, it’s nothing like the movie. That’s nothing new when it comes to crappy adaptations.
He brings up there’s a gas station now. Then he gives up. Then the cartridge comes back and hits him again. This time covering him in slime because reference. “Either that or he jizzed on me” … Ew. If your semen is green, then you have a problem.

Plays another movie clip…
Brings up how you have to buy equipment. Then he “foreshadows” that the shopping mechanic lead to “childhood trauma that lasted over 20 years”. Over 20 years? Doesn’t that indicate you’ve played this in the late 90s? You weren’t a kid in the late 90s. Are you trying to pretend that you’re younger than you really are? Did you mean to say over 30 years? Because this game is 32 years old.

Starts driving… pointlessly inserts Spyhunter. “GET IT BECAUSE I REVIEWED IT AT ONE POINT!”
Gets to the shop… buys stuff… tries again but needs a trap, and he’s angry because he didn’t see a trap. Then he pauses to “paint a picture”, as in describe an experience. Oh jeez…
How at the time, there were only a handful of NES games. Not true. At time of the game’s release, there were at least 130 NES games. That is not a handful. Also, that debunks The Wizard where Lucas bragged about having “all 97 NES games” since there were way more when that movie came out.
He wants people to picture 10-year-old Chris renting the game, buying the beam, and not being able to progress because he didn’t buy the trap. So, he assumed it’s a “scavenger hunt” game like Castlevania II. Interesting comparison because Simon’s Quest came out AFTER Ghostbusters. Unless he rented this after but I’m just going by release dates and his age…
Anyway, he tries to find it, he can’t, and his weekend was ruined. So years later when he starts Irate Gamer, he looks online to see how to find it. Turns he didn’t press down at the bottom of the shop and that’s where the trap was. Kind of goes to show how incompetent of a gamer he was when he didn’t try that. Assuming this story is even true and he’s not just making something up.

So, he’s upset that there was a second page, then makes his face and voice all demonic. You know Chris, you criticize Anderson Cooper and other newscasters of making demonic faces you could never make, and yet here you are descending your jaw like you’re a goddamn Xenomorph. Something you want to tell us?
Then he starts yelling at the game, how he hates the game’s family, the Atari version, the sequel, then brings up the 2016 reboot. Let it go Chris.
He’s really salty about the second page. Angry that they put the Ghost Vacuum on the first page instead (or Ghost Horn as he calls it because he can’t read). He also cries that he doesn’t know what the vacuum does. You could look it up. Go on the internet and find out the truth. It’s not 1988 anymore.
“20 damn years!” Don’t you mean 30? Chris, if you rented this at 10, then it would have been 1988 or 89. That’s 30 years ago. Are you pretending you’re not a 42-year-old boomer?

He finally moves on from that and says, “I’m so happy I’m about to bust my nut all over these ghosts”. Is your strategy to be AVGN but rather than talk about poop you talk about cum? I don’t think that will work.
He gets to the ghost capturing segment. “We have new screens to look at and they are glorious” You need to work on your sarcasm.
Brings up that you can’t cross the streams, then plays the movie clip. Then complains that there’s still no ballroom scene. Let it go.

He goes over the game some more, mentions the Zuul building. What, no rant on movie accuracy?
Then apparently if you just sit there and let the PK meter rise to 9000, you can enter automatically. Complaining that they would program this. Well, you need money to buy upgrades for the stair sequence. It would help.
“Would have been nice to know about this 30 years ago” 30! There you go! Why did you keep saying 20 earlier? Did you do this in one take and thought “Eh, nobody will notice”.

He reaches the building and gets upset that Winston isn’t in the line-up. Using this as an excuse to edit in his Ernie video next to the three in-game Busters.
He then slowly explains that moving requires pressing the A button multiple times. Rather than say it one sentence, he does whole sequence where he has to press it twice to show you only move one step. Gotta get to 20 minutes!
More about the stairs, bringing up the same points others have… gets annoyed that this is movie accurate and yet the ghosts in the final boss aren’t green. Are those meant to be Slimer?
“Check out this kill screen” That’s not a kill screen Chris. A kill screen is when you reach the point of an Arcade game (or basically a game that doesn’t end) where the software can’t take it anymore and does something to crash the game. Like the 256th map in Pac-Man being a glitchy mess, or the 117th screen of Donkey Kong where the timer only lasts four seconds or getting to Round 100 in Duck Hunt and the ducks become impossible to hit. What you’re thinking is a “game over screen”. Very different.
Anyway, the “kill screen” shows text that, while not as badly translated as the ending, could still use some improvement. He’s angry because they wouldn’t let him save the city.
“If you took more than six weeks to produce this game” You’re thinking of the Atari version Chris. I know this is based on that but come on don’t be stupid.

He says he would want to Game Genie his way to the top, but people will complain because “AVGN did that”. Why would that stop you? Also, why do you think mentioning him now will help you?
Instead he’s going to “montage” his way to the top. While The Final Countdown plays. But it’s stopped short when he gets a joke copyright claim. So he’s smart enough to know about that, but still includes movie footage, and TV show footage on his DVD. His selective ignorance is astonishing.
Instead he transitions, while mentioning AVGN again. Then he yells at the audience “Are you happy? No AVGN copying. No Shit Pickle” Shit Pickle? What are you talking about? Are you referring to people that called your Maplestory character a copy of Shit Pickle? Even back then, that was a stretch. Because Tony was so stupid that it could only come from your empty head.
Then for no reason he has a cut-out of the AVGN appear doing the Mortal Kombat “toasty”. … Okay?

He gets to the final boss, talks about what’s there, then gets confused that it’s called the Zuul building when the boss is Gozer. Oh, so now you talk about that. Why didn’t you realize that earlier?
Then he does the AVGN toasty thing again. For literally no reason. That better not be a fucking running gag…
He wonders how to beat the boss, then another recorded video from Ernie Hudson encourages him. He plays another movie clip. Okay…
He beats Gozer, gets the crappy ending. Of course, he must complain about the poorly translated sentences. Big talk coming from the guy that misspelled “nostalgia” in your comeback trailer.

“Can I ever get an ending that’s satisfying?” Yes. Play something that’s not an NES game, or play an RPG. “Especially with a game as iconic as Ghostbusters” You mean franchise, right? Because Ghostbusters games aren’t “iconic”. Only like two of them are any good.
Then we get more Ernie Hudson recording to close out the video. Clearly, $135 well spent.

That was the big comeback? … That was lame.
It wasn’t the worst video he’s ever made, not by a long shot, but it felt really half-assed. Like a big dull pile of meh. The energy felt low, and the writing seemed to focus more on vulgarity when I recall people saying, “IG is better because no poop jokes”. Yet he pees on a game and references semen twice. I know that’s not specifically poop, but they’re still bodily functions. Also, what was the point of all the AVGN references? Useless pandering? Frankly, adding "Inspired by AVGN" in the opening is a big case of "too little too late".
The one thing I can take from this video is that Chris is really bad with time and numbers. But we’ve already established that.
  
I guess we’ll wait and see if he’s truly back for more poorly made videos.
That’s all for me. Go play The Wonderful 101 Remastered. It’s an excellent game that needs more love (when it comes out of course)

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

We Are Off the Deep End into Tinfoil City

I imagine the lockdown is making a lot of us stir-crazy. As long as we stay vigilant, protect ourselves, clean ourselves, we'll be fine.
In Chris' case though, I think he's far too gone now. Especially if the new video posted on "Da Gost Docta" is anything to go by.

Yesterday he posted, and I am not making up this title, "WOKE Paranormal - Satanist Pop Culture Will Bring A Paranormal Pandemic (Ghost Doctor Exclusive)". Everything about that is a massive crimson-deep red flag. Also, really poor taste to bring up an "oncoming pandemic" when we're in the middle of one right now.

And yes, he is purposely invoking the COVID pandemic as the video shows footage from what I presume is an "anti-stay at home" protest.
He then claims that people that didn't believe in the paranormal, had paranormal encounters and they're coming to him. Already starting with the lies.

Chris is concerned about the rise of secularism, or rather, the rise of satanism. Wow! Not even a minute in and we're going hard.
He claims he's "not taking this lightly" because it's seeping into pop culture. His first example is the TV series Lucifer. Oh no... is Chris a fundie now?
His second example is Christian Bale thanking Satan at the Golden Globes. ... Pretty sure that was a fucking joke. Especially since he got it for playing Dick Cheney, a man that is notoriously corrupt and helped push us into an unwinnable war that killed thousands.
Then he shows a clip of Lady Gaga saying "I swear to Lucifer". Again, that's a joke. Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised that someone as dull & unfunny as Chris doesn't understand the concept of jokes.

Let's stop for a second. For those that don't know, secularism is the idea that religion should not be part of a state or country-wide system. I.E. the separation of church and state. That doesn't mean people are looking towards "satanism". It more likely means that people are tired of the corruption of organized religion, especially young people that see a lot of it as fraudulent and unhelpful. Especially LGBT teens that get beaten or worse because their religion tells them their existence is "wrong".

Continuing on, he shows a clip of Anderson Cooper making a "demon face" that he claims he can't make. It's almost like Anderson Cooper is a trained TV journalist that knows how to change his face, and you barely have any experience despite doing YouTube for over a decade (somehow). Or you know, we could get the original context of that clip and see who or what Cooper was listening to. But noooo, that would destroy Chris' already flimsy argument.

Then he brings up "realities breaking down" ... What?
Then he brings up talk show hosts that will sometimes blink like they're... oh no. Like they're reptilian. Here we go, here we fucking go! Right into lizard people! Way to destroy any ounce of credibility you possibly tried to build Chris. This is laughable, you can't just go from Satanism to reptilians. You sound like a crazy person.

Then his "friends" asked "why is everyone saying you're racist" or "you're sexist because you don't want girl Ghostbusters". Really? You're still hung up on that shit? It's over, they 're not doing anymore of that incarnation of Ghostbusters.
Anyway, the whole "you're racist" thing isn't due to the "mainstream media', but more-so social media exposing that everyone is awful and that maybe the comments you say out of ignorance shouldn't be posted online, and when you get called out maybe you shouldn't double down on your ignorance. I get the feeling Chris said something racist in public, got called out, and like a lot of morons, played the victim card because "wah wah wah, I can't say anything anymore". No, you can say whatever you want, but thanks to the internet, you should expect a backlash of some kind, no matter what you say. "I think Final Fantasy VII Remake is great" "Fuck you, it's an insult!" or "Tom Hanks is a great man and actor" "No, he's total piece of shit!" Though I worry about anyone that thinks about Tom Hanks like that.

Then he brings up the HBO Watchmen TV show that "pits whites vs blacks". Okay, I haven't seen the show yet so I asked my friend that did to understand what he's talking about, and they said "I have no idea". I know a certain subset of people were upset because it featured a black actress in a prominent role when the original Watchmen story didn't have any prominent black characters (the kid reading the pirate comic was like the only one). Also, looking back at your opinion on the show, you overreacted with "Makes me want to give up on Pop Culture". Yes, I made a slight joke about how you'll start ranting about "blacks and jews" because of the current climate, but it was right there on the table.

Turns out that was just the introduction to three reasons why a "paranormal pandemic" is going to happen and "bleed into the afterlife". Get something strong to drink, because this is going to hurt.

#1!
The abandonment of established religions. As I mentioned, younger people are seeing religion as fraudulent for a number of reasons. Their constant need for money, their demonizing of LGBT people, their contradictory view points on life, there's a lot of reasons for people to give up on organized religion.
He goes into what he thinks a "good religion" does. He chastises people that want to do what they want without following a religion, and it becomes "demonic". What?
"You don't have to worship Satan to be a Satanist"... Pretty sure you do.
No, it's because when you "align yourself with the negative vibrations" you get demonic or something. What is he talking about?

"And when we get into politics" *shows picture of Adam Schiff* Oh this will be fun.
He claims that most politicians are into Satanism, and if you don't believe that then you're blind. Okay, most politicians are indeed corrupt, but that doesn't make them Satanists. Oh right, I forgot we're going by his weird "bad vibrations" definition here.
Then he brings up his investigation of the Longwood Manor. Wasn't that an episode of Haunted Investigators? *checks* Oh yeah, it was. Like all his episodes, they didn't find a damn thing. Why is he addressing this now?
Oh, it's because the original owner of the home, William Few Long, became the mayor of Macedonia Ohio. Turns out he was totally into Satanism and child sacrifices. Whoa what? That's a big bomb to just casually drop. Do you have evidence of this? His evidence is "the house was full of nasty stuff" and lists some stuff that happened during his investigation like "someone getting pricked on the arm" or Alan getting sick. Ooooorr maybe it's an old abandoned house and it's all in your thick head. Rather insane leap to head straight to Satan.

Then he gets into his own religion, Buddhism. He brings up the "five poisons". Looking into that, it's part of the Mahayana tradition and doesn't represent every aspect of Buddhism. Funny enough, some of these poisons best represent him. Anger (yelling at me and his critics), Delusion (thinking he's the best "ghost behaviorist" and is better than the people on TV), Pride and Jealousy (see Delusion). Only one he doesn't represent is Craving, but I have no idea what that means in this context.
He brings up demonic people in YouTube videos... and cites the infamous video of the woman that screams "noooo" when Trump was sworn into office. A video that his supporters like passing around to show how "triggered the libs" really are.  Full mask off now aren't we?
"These people think they're doing the right thing, because in their own twisted and warped way they are" ... You do know you can apply that to yourself right? Not just people against you.
"They're out of touch, they don't care what you say" He says this while showing a picture of Adam Schiff. Is he implying that people standing against Trump are Satanists? Also, that's most politicians. Not just Schiff. May I introduce Mitch McConnell?
"Even if you protest against them, they'll just say 'Let them eat cake'" ... What? That's not what that phrase means.

Then he finally gets to the crux of his argument. That when they die, they won't go into the afterlife. They'll become "creatures". Then he shows a picture of Gollum. I couldn't stop laughing at that part. Holy shit this is even worse than his book. Also, Gollum isn't an undead spirit or something. He's a pitiful creature corrupted by the power of the One Ring, having lived for centuries holding on to his "precious". That is not the same thing.

Then he claims that the Grey Aliens aren't actually aliens, they're twisted people from the afterlife. What the... what. Is this a joke?
Aliens are more likely to exist than ghosts. Our universe is far too vast for human beings to be the sole intelligent life here.

Then he cites that clip from Ghost Adventures he posted on Facebook a few weeks back. The one that looked fake as hell. Because apparently, that's exactly what he's been talking about for years. Am I being trolled right now?

#2!
Materialism is overtaking spiritual growth. Hold on, is the creator of Puppet Steve going to lecture us on the horrors of materialism? The man with piles and piles of toys in his house that he's trying to SELL on eBay for MONEY?
He's calling out rich snobs for showing off their stuff on Twitter and social media and are gathering big followings for it. "Look at my Rolls Royce, look at my bling, look at my mansion". Hey kids, look at my Bendy figures, look at my FNAF toys, look at my Minecraft playsets. You're saying all this to an audience of over 673k subscribers. You don't get to make this argument.

This is bad because when you die you leave it all behind. ... No shit. Why do you think people call out old greedy billionaires? Their money isn't coming with them when they die.
This all leads into "hungry spirits" that don't want to pass on. Because the spirits he "talks" to- okay this is fucking dumb.
Then he claims that we have a problem in society where someone can go to an estate sale, buy a piece of furniture, and suddenly they're haunted. WHAT?! Again, is this a joke? How is it Chris is at his funniest when he's trying to be serious?
He concludes talking about "stuck spirits". This is so stupid.

#3! Finally, last one.
The growing "fear and ignorance" of the afterlife. What.
He then goes on about how our "ancestors" knew how to handle spirits, and that back in the day they had picnics at cemeteries. Why do you want that back? Are you trying hook up with some big titty goth girl? What is wrong with you?
He's upset we stay away from cemeteries. Of course we do! They're not "cool places" to hang out. Are you on drugs?
He brings up how old houses would be haunted, and their descendants would be cool with that. What is your basis in this? What is your evidence? Are you sure you're not taking your ideas from old movies?
He hates how people sell houses when someone dies and that the new owners will deal with the spirit. Here's a concept. Maybe people sell the house because our housing market is a complete trainwreck and want to get as much money out of it as they can.
Then he brings up how in Jewish culture, energy is stored in walls. Then when people remodeling a home tear down the walls, weird stuff happens. What drugs are you on?
"The walls start exhaling" Seriously, what drugs?
He claims he had to "cleanse" a lot of houses recently. Riiiight...
He claims it all builds up and other spirits come in and oh my god this is so dumb.
Apparently, "cleansing" is a lost artform, and the reason people are "suddenly angry" in their new house is that it wasn't cleansed. Oooorr there's an entirely different reason, likely financial because buying a house these days is a risky investment.

And those are his reasons for why there will be a "paranormal pandemic".

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
I think this is the real Chris Bores. The insane conspiratorial nutcase that he's only shown glimpses of before, but now here he is in all his glory. Holy shit!
This whole video came off like the ravings of a madman. Someone that doesn't deal in facts or logic, but in their own weird corrupted religious ideas or ideas of the past.
He's gone full Alex Jones. How long until he starts trying to eat his neighbors?

Hey Chris, how about taking your tinfoil wearing ass into the real world, and see where the real pandemic is happening. Everywhere!

I don't know if I'll cover more of these "Ghost Doctor" videos, but man this was a trip. Stay safe everyone.

Saturday, April 25, 2020

I Don't Think You Can Get a PhD in Ghosts

Seems I was incorrect in my belief that Chris would post the Ghostbusters video shortly after the preview. The actual release has been changed to *checks notes* a while.

He posted that on Facebook in response to the "OMG YOU'RE BACK"
Once again, he blames the algorithm for his failure (rather than himself) and claims that this is not a full comeback, likely a one-time thing. Can't take away too much time from playing with toys.
Chris, use Patreon! It is not that hard! Even Chris-chan uses Patreon now. There's no excuse for you. It's probably the only way you'll give the fans what they want.

However, my prediction that this is being made to promote his ghost stuff might be accurate.


That's right, despite all his cries of YouTube being "too different", he started yet another channel. "The Ghost Doctor - Chris Bores". ... Really? How can you be a doctor to dead people? Oh right, it's part of his idiotic 'ghost behaviorist" title. I'd ask "who is dumb enough to fall for this", but considering people are actually consuming disinfectant and bleach, there are far too many fools in the world.

So far there's only one video "What is a Ghost Behaviorist?! Chris Bores Reveals the Secret!" I won't link it as I'm not going to encourage his ego, and I feel partly responsible for Puppet Steve blowing up the way it did as his views and subs skyrocketed after I discovered him. Then again, I linked Alphabet Bunch and that didn't go anywhere.

I get the feeling that the end of his Ghostbusters video is going to be a big ad promoting this "Ghost Doctor" garbage. He is super desperate for his paranormal "ideas" to take off and get him noticed. He's probably sick of playing with toys and wants this to be his true career. It's not happening Chris.

If you're curious about the video, it's 13 minutes of cringe with Chris using the same arguments he's been making over and over. People steal from him, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, his Hardcore Pawn "appearance", how he uses science (pfffft), nobody understands his "genius" (BAHAHAHA), and whatever this shit is.

Are we going to hear Chris rant about Pepe Silvia in the next video?

If anything, Chris is looking and sounding more like a total nutjob. He wants to be taken seriously? Good luck with that.
See you when the Ghostbusters video comes out.

UPDATE: I left a comment asking a simple question about the Hardcore Pawn appearance. Chris... didn't take it well.

Wow, I didn't even say anything mean. Yet here he goes delving into "daddy issues" and going into an incoherent rant. I think this is what the kids call "triggered"?
Interestingly he avoided the question. Someone doesn't want to confront the truth. It's no wonder that ghost group banned him if this is how he acts to simple questions.

UPDATE 2: Replied to that, to which he replied again.


 You say you're not triggered and yet...

Thursday, April 23, 2020

He's back... again.

Just dropped on YouTube. We're doing this dance again.
To celebrate the 13th anniversary of the Irate Gamer channel, he's bringing the character back. To review Ghostbusters on NES. Because that hasn't been talked about a million times already.

I have to wonder how much care Chris put into the video since the preview spells "nostalgia" wrong.

Uploading here in case he tries to delete it.
Also he paid Ernie Hudson to record a cameo on his phone. Meh...

I guess Chris finally realized what his fans want. They don't want boring Chris Neo, lame podcasts, or fucking "Ghost Behaviorist" garbage, they want this crap.
And yet, I still feel this will be very boring. Maybe not Chris Neo boring, but probably Season 5 boring.
Wait... he's reviewing Ghostbusters, and my informant told me he updated his Toledo Hunters fan page to include this new picture.

Is this is going to be a way to promote his stupid ghost material? You're hunting the wrong house Chris. The Irate Gamer fans give zero fucks about ghost hunting. What's left of them anyway...

I expect this video to go up soon. Last time he put up an "Irate Gamer is back" preview, the full video came out the next day or so.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Chris Gets Banned from Ghost Group for Acting Like a Toxic A-hole about ... Windows?

Happy April everyone. I hope you're all staying safe, staying indoors, and washing your hands. We'll all get through this mess if we follow those guidelines.

Still no GeekTime. I doubt he'll ever admit it was a flop and that's why he quietly abandoned it.

Over on Puppet Steve, nothing much new. More Spongebob, more Ninja Turtles, more Goo Jit Zu (where he cuts open the toys for some reason). However, he did update his description to say he's the "master of unboxing". What? How that it something to master? Why is that something to be proud of? That makes no sense.

Once again, Chris decided to act like a total ass on Facebook, and oh boy is there a lot to cover.

It all started with this.

Chris bragging that he got banned from a paranormal group because they "couldn't handle being called out". Is this your first day on the internet? You don't go around crying "Wah this place banned me because I was an asshole"

You're probably wondering what the screencaps within say. My informant did the best they could to get them as Chris apparently captured them on a potato.

So from what I can tell, Elizabeth suggested "saging" a room to help spirits or something. Part of it involves opening a window. Chris claims he never needed to open a window. Elizabeth says "You do things your way then, I do things mine". Chris loses it, calling her a "dangerous person out of control", asks if she's "thinking clearly" and questions why she's bringing up the speed of light with E=MC2. That's not the speed of light, that's the mass-energy equivalence. That anything with mass has equal energy. Granted, I don't know what that has to do with ghosts but okay.
Then Chris is like "I WROTE A FUCKING BOOK". Oh wow, the ego on display.
Someone tells him he's being rude. Chris yells at her, how his "knowledge" is better because he has a book and has talked on "national programs". Which ones Chris? What programs?

So yeah, we got Chris acting like an egotistical asshole because someone uses a different method than him. Dude, you are nothing. If anyone knows you, it's for your YouTube career not this paranormal garbage. It's no surprise they banned you. Yet here you are acting like some edgy 15 year old crying on a forum because they got banned for saying the N-word in an online game.

Some of the comments are a trip too. Here's a big one.

I'm sorry, a paranormal turf war?! What the actual fucking loving fuck?! Are you for real right now? I know Toledo is not a small city. It's estimated to have around 277k people (we'll get an exact number fairly soon). But I can't picture that many people all being into ghost hunting. Probably like 200 of them, and that's being generous. Has Chris been taking some hard drugs?
I love how he's all "I'M NOT IN IT FOR THE MONEY! UNLIKE THESE PHONIES ON TV!" Yeah, sure... I mean, how sad would it be if he genuinely believed this crap?

Here's a comment from a hospice nurse that notes how some patients have rituals after they pass on.

So for some reason, Chris really has a problem with people using Google to do research. Then what do you expect them to do? Do you just want people to read through every possible piece of literature until they think "Oh, that's the secret to the afterlife". That sounds counter-productive.
Is that why you claimed to do research for Irate Gamer and yet you still got so many things wrong? Because you refused to use Google? No, he's probably just stupid.

Here's someone asking about making his own paranormal YouTube channel.

Amazingly, he's not using the "YouTube is too different" excuse he made with the Skylanders channel (HMMM). Instead, he's claiming he doesn't want people to steal his methods. *sniff sniff* Wooo-weee, that is a stinky pile of horseshit. Just admit you have nothing. Tell your fans you've been spending all your time making shitty unboxing videos.
You don't even use the main channel to post ghost stuff anymore. You haven't posted a ghost-related video since November 2017. Chris, are you the scam artist and are salty that you're failing at it?

Anyway, there was another post where he showed off his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys. Nothing to really show there. Though this comment caught my informant's eye.

Really? You're telling someone in the middle of pandemic and quarantine to go to Target for toys? Pretty sure someone goes to Target for far more important reasons right now. Come on Chris, pay attention! Then again, he listens to Alex Jones and Mark Dice. Maybe Chris is one of those morons that thinks this isn't a big deal. It wouldn't surprise me if he's a regular viewer of One America News Network, the news channel for people that think Fox News isn't racist enough.

So what project do you think Chris will attempt next? Maybe give in and revive the Irate Gamer properly? Pffft yeah right.

Stay safe everyone.

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Some Amazing Facebook Insanity

I try to space these out, but this was too crazy to pass up.

First we've got some ghost stuff. His Facebook group isn't seeing any growth, still only at 20 members.
Maybe posting about Ghostbusters toys when this is meant to be a "serious ghost hunting" page isn't the brightest idea? Yeah, rather than post about Ghostbusters at ToyFair on his main page, he posted about it on his ghost group. It's sad how badly he wants to be a genuine Ghostbuster. Could he not just join one of those fan groups they always have around? I'm sure Ohio has a few. *searches* Yep, at least three from a cursory Google search.

But that's nothing compared to this.


Chris commenting on a Ghost Adventures clip he recorded with his potato phone.
I thought the ghost hunting shows were all terrible Chris? Is there something about Ghost Adventures that sets it apart from the others? I know it's the one people are always making fun of (RedLetterMedia, Honest Trailers).
Of course he makes it all about him. "ME ME ME My techniques, my eight years all me!"
If you're curious, the clip shows a "shadow" moving in that window. The shadow looks like an alien. My informant captured the video and sent it to me, and I couldn't stop laughing. That was the phoniest shit ever! So obviously staged. You'd have to be a total moron not to se- oh right... almost forgot who we're dealing with.

But even that's nothing compared to this next part. If you haven't heard by now, E3 has been cancelled this year due to COVID-19 or the Coronavirus. A safe precaution as just about every major gathering has been cancelled. I hope everyone stays safe out there.
Chris... had some bizarre words about this.


... What the fuck are you talking about?!
Do you even know what Gamespot is? They've been around since 1996, a year after E3 started. They didn't take the show over. That's an idiotic mindset. Where did that even come from? "Make money off the event" Everyone does that! Not just Gamespot, but IGN and Kotaku and even your partner GotGame. Do you still even work with them? They still exist, I checked and they posted a review within the last 12 hours.
What kind of moronic idea is "Gamespot took over E3 and pushed out the little guy"? Where did that even come from? Is your tinfoil too tight again?
I love that last question "What will they do now?!" ... The same thing they always do. Report the news and write reviews. Something you gave up on a long time ago. Just because there's not going to be a big gathering in Los Angeles this year doesn't mean we won't get news. If anything, more companies are going to adopt the Nintendo Direct style of messaging. Something they should have done a long time ago.
Interesting how he doesn't mention the reason E3 got cancelled. No word on the Coronavirus. Don't tell me you think it's a hoax. ... Do you?

I'm just amazed he's this dumb and conspiratorial. Then again, it's hard to top "Illuminati imagery on Nickelodeon". I'm surprised more people don't know that he said that.

Friday, March 6, 2020

The Neverending Ghost Garbage

Another month later and GeekTime is still dead.

ToyFair in New York City happened earlier this month, and of course Chris went to it. Even though YouTube gives more if videos are 10 minutes or longer, for whatever reason he decided to do live 3 minute chunks recorded on his potato phone. I say that because the sound quality is abysmal. It stutters and stops and it's almost impossible to understand what he's saying. You couldn't test your phone's capabilities before live-streaming?
He covered the same crap he usually does. FNAF, Bendy, Baldi, Fortnite, Batman. He talked about Mortal Kombat toys. Oh yeah, that glorious kid-friendly series where eyes are gouged and stomachs are blown up. At one point, there was a video on My Hero Academia toys, but he deleted it. He claims kids asked for it. Due to the audio, I couldn't tell what he was saying (though it sounded a lot like "there's this guy and this guy")

Despite having 653k subscribers, the views are pretty bad. The other day he posted a video on the *sighs* "Top 15 Baby Yoda toys" and it only has 16k views. Not sure if late to the craze or just nobody caring. It's kind of weird that Chris' sub count goes up but his views go down... do you think he's artificially inflating his numbers?
He also posted a video on FNAF bootlegs where pretends to be El Chip from Pizzeria Simulator, with a terrible Mexican accent.
There's also a good example of Chris' terrible timing. In a video about Sonic toys posted on February 29th, he stated that the Sonic movie was coming "next week". Except that came out February 14th. You couldn't pick a more vague line? If you're aware the video was getting released after the movie, you couldn't say something like "With the Sonic movie out, let's look at Sonic toys". Unbelievable.

Of course, Puppet Steve is still likely "the money maker" as his real love lies in ghosts, and he's still going with it.
He posted a new group on Facebook made for Toledo ghost hunters. It only has 20 members. In case you're wondering, the population of Toledo Ohio is estimated to be 276,491. Really boxing yourself in with this idea Chris.
He also posted what he claimed was one of his proudest finds. A video of a ghost allegedly saying "hi". I couldn't watch it because I need a Facebook account, but my informant did and they couldn't hear a thing. Sounds more like Chris hearing what he wants to hear, rather than the truth.

Say Chris, what happened to that project to "expose" the professionals? How about that book exposing YouTube? Were they all just empty threats?