Friday, April 22, 2016

IG Starts a New "Season" With More Stale Jokes about the Duck Hunt Dog

Looks like we’re back everyone! Seems “semi-retirement” means “I’ll release a video whenever the fuck I feel like it”. No more shitty tech reviews, no more art books, just a video crapped out every couple of months. That’s my guess anyway. He’s replaced his channel banner to just say “The Irate Gamer”. No more “new videos every Tuesday and Friday”.
I have heard that a Multi Channel Network can drop you if views are really low. Considering Bores no longer belongs to CDN/Studio 71, it’s likely they dropped him for abysmal views. I have to wonder what advice they gave him to get his channel to grow and if he ever took any of it. Chris has a really bad history of never taking criticism or advice to help him. Hell, he only started doing Let’s Play videos last year (and then stopped).

Sooooo yeah, a new regular Irate Gamer episode is here. He’s actually been teasing this one for a few weeks. The title indicates that this is the beginning of “Season 6”. Meaning Season 5 was only 10 episodes (12 if you count History of Video Games, and I don’t) and the finale was… Excitebike. Wow, lame.
How is he going to start this new season? Go back to talking about legitimate bad games? NOPE! More bashing of classics. Starting with Duck Hunt. … The video is 6:18 long (less when you consider the end slate). Considering how little gameplay there is, I sense this is going to be padded as fuuuuuuck.

Let’s look at the description.
“This time taking a look at the classic video game, Duckhunt and the stupid dog!” Duck Hunt is two words you illiterate idiot!
Also “and the stupid dog”? This is going to be all about the damn dog isn’t it? I sense jokes more stale than year old licorice.
“You know what I'm talkin' about!” Do we? Do we really?

Intro’s still the same. No updates for this new “season”.

0:17 - 0:46: Duck Hunt is “iconic“, ducks get faster in each level, cue a bit where a duck hits him in real life. I’m already bored.
He notes how Duck Hunt was packaged with the NES on release, and shows it alongside Super Mario Bros. Incorrect. For the very first NES release, Duck Hunt launched alongside Gyromite. It wasn’t until later that it was packaged with Super Mario Bros. This is a basic NES fact, how do you keep getting so many things wrong Chris?
He notes various releases of the game, which is a list joke leading into a pointless Brady Bunch reference. This is why watching too much Family Guy is hazardous to your health.

0:46 - 1:29: He drops the cartridge and… oh noooo. The Pixel Demon is back. Really? We’re doing storyline bullshit again? He still doesn’t look like pixels, or a demon. He just looks a crappy ogre or troll.
So he appears and… walks off screen. Okay so it’s just setting up pointless bullshit later in the video.
“To play this particular game however” Awkward sentence. Do you ever proofread your scripts?
He brings up the light gun. Then he asks “What’s a Light Gun?” … You can’t say that line when you’ve used the Zapper on multiple occasions, or the Super Scope, or the Odyssey Rifle. Oh, it just leads to a bit where he points the barrel at his face and blinds himself with light. Even though that makes zero sense!
Explains that it reacts to light on the TV, and he keeps failing. Then brings up that it won’t work on new televisions as we see he now has a tiny flat-screen HD TV. Seriously that looks like it’s 20 inches. I didn’t even know they still made TVs that small.
So he needs to get an older model, and it replaces his HD TV with one from the 50’s. Dumb joke. Then his usual Sharp TV. I just realized, if he actually explained his points normally without a cutaway or stupid reaction attached, his videos would only be like 2 minutes long. He has no content, just bad jokes.

1:30 - 2:34:
He goes over the first two modes, how you only get three bullets, and if you miss everything the dog will laugh at you.
“What a DEEICK” Yes yes, we haven’t heard this joke a billion times already…
He brings up that you need to kill 6/10 to advance and REALLY? You have to use the “Green Circle of Fucking Obvious” on this? Well it’s more an oval but still. My brain is hurting…
Ducks get faster, hide behind the greenery, obvious editing in use (like holy shit it’s blatant), and he misses and the dog laughs. Bored.

2:35 - 2:53: Pixel Demon shows up on his shelf, says it’s time for his revenge. IG misses ducks again (wow, how do you suck at Duck Hunt?), he throws his zapper like a child and it manages to hit the Pixel Demon. Well that was pointless.
Dog laughs at him again. “God I wish I could shoot that dog”. Didn’t you already do that back in the Jaws “review”? Then again, Chris seems to have a memory made of Swiss cheese so I wouldn’t be surprised if he forgot all about that. This is the same guy that reviewed Rayman Legends twi- … *checks* Oh shit, he deleted the second Rayman Legends video. I always seem to discover a new deleted video every time I look. Hopefully someone has been saving everything.

2:53 - 3:22: He says one major downside is that the screen never changes. You never go to other locations like forests, deserts, tundras or the moon. While that could be a good point, you have to remember that this was a VERY early NES game. It came out in Japan in 1984, a good year before Super Mario Bros, which had plenty of screen variation.
Though this was likely an excuse to have the Duck Hunt dog suffocate in space and have his head explode. Keep it classy Chris. Also, how do the ducks fly around in this imaginary moon level if there‘s no air or gravity? Throwing logic out the window for terrible jokes.
Still complains it‘s only one screen. “Talk about your Lake Shittycacas” That name was dirty enough before, you ruined the joke. God damn it Chris.
Then he commits suicide with the Zapper. This is what, the fourth time he’s done this? I don’t care to check.

3:23 - 3:45: First 20 levels are easy, then they get hard. How does anyone think Chris is a good reviewer? The points he makes are fucking obvious.
Then an obvious edit of the game going super fast, and an even more obvious edit of more than two ducks on the screen (pretty sure the game would break if that happened)
“Die you motherfuckers” Back to uncensored cursing I see.
Then he screams “Damn it!”, shoots his ceiling and a shitty debris effect falls on him. Review over? I wish.
Then he fucking growls at the dog. Are you five? You’re reminding me of Chris-chan when he tried to “bare his teeth” like an animal to scare away the trolls.

3:46 - 4:10: Then the Pixel Demon shows up again. This time he successfully attacks IG, but apparently he’s nothing more than a bug to him.
“A Pixel Demon?!” Wait, there’s more than one?! Or was that Chris not checking his script again?
So apparently the Pixel Demon can “glitch games”. Is that what he was doing with Silver Surfer? I thought he was a great menace that was locked away in a super hard game. Chris, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your own bullshit writing? I thought you were proud of your “movie”?
Anyway, because he can “glitch games”, IG shoves him into the Zapper, and he manages to kill the dog. Oh god this is so dumb… The overly dramatic music that plays only showcases how dumb it really is.

4:11 - 5:49: He moves onto the Clay Shooting game and briefly describes it. Calling them “clay discs” instead of clay pigeons but whatever. Then he edits in the dog to laugh at him. IG yells that he’s not supposed to be here, and the dog gives him an angry thumbs up? Oh wait that’s supposed to be a middle finger. How has your sprite editing gotten even worse?
Then… things get really bad.
He shakes the Zapper to get the Glitch Gremlin I mean Pixel Demon out and into an NES controller. He presses the A button and it… summons a Super Mario pipe, and Zelda music plays when it appears. Where is the sense?!
IG jumps into the pump head first, oh good he’ll die on the way down. No, he just ends up inside the game. He starts chasing the dog and they start going through different games. It goes on for a long fucking time. Super Mario Bros 3, Kung-Fu, Metroid, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Life Force, DuckTales, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game, Gyromite, Mega Man, Mortal Kombat?!  That’s not even an NES game! No, this is so he can uppercut the dog off the Pit and into the spikes below. This. Was. Fucking. Retarded!

Of course, there’s the “plz subscreeb” end slate. He claims that whole ending scene took him 12 hours. … Am I supposed to be impressed?

Same shit, different day.
To be honest, when I heard the Pixel Demon would be back, I thought we’d get something slightly different. Something more than the usual gray slop he’s been giving us for the past year. But no, it’s more of the same, the Pixel Demon was pointless anyway. It was more of the usual crap. The game is hard, limitation complaints, pointless complaints, tons and tons and tons of padding, holy shit that last scene felt like it went on and on. And why? He already killed the dog back in his Jaws review, this just feels so pointless.
I don’t understand how people are saying this is a good video. Nothing about it is good. The jokes are old and stale, or just dumb, the effects are mediocre, he made zero good points, yet somehow people are saying “OH GREAT VIDEO HERP HERP HERP”. I just don’t get it. Please explain to me IG fans why you think his videos are still good?

Who knows when Chris is going to put out another video? Especially if he’s in “semi-retirement”.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Is This the End of Irate Gamer?

I know I just made a post, but Chris finally broke radio silence and dropped a bomb today on Facebook.

"I've been getting questions about the next IG Episode. The character is pretty much semi-retired at this point since the channel didn't see a big enough growth last year. I haven't had enough free time to edit episodes lately that require many man hours so I'm not sure when the next episode will be completed. Thanks for continuing to support the show, I love all the fans!"

 Well... this could be real.

Now I know he mentioned retirement before, and then 24 hours later said "Turns out I'm sticking around haha!" since it was a clear attempt at fishing for praise. "No don't go Chris we love you" and all that. However, this sounds much more serious. The red flag is "the channel didn't see a big enough growth last year", which I imagine was his experimental "three videos a week" phase that only ended up driving people away with terrible style changes (CRAZY videos) and severe selling out.
This does coincide with my discovery that he's no longer part of a Multi-Channel Network (according to Socialblade). 

By the way, this tells me his "technical difficulties" excuse was a lie. Knew it!

This could also mean that he's not completely done. Just that IG episodes will be even slower than usual (which would be impressive considering the "storyline" years saw like 2-3 IG episodes a year). We'll likely see a lot more stupid toy videos as those don't take long to edit. Though I hope this means he's done with all the selling out, no more terrible tech reviews or art books. 

Does this mean I'm done? No. Just that output will be a lot slower to match his. There's still his possible second book (which I doubt will really happen) and his alleged Hardcore Pawn appearance (if that hasn't been cancelled). As he says, the episode he was working will eventually come out, and I will cover that.

If Chris goes through with a full retirement instead of a "semi" one... I called it. Chris, you never tried. You didn't want to try. You never accepted help, you turned away countless people, you tried to take the easy way without realizing that trends change and people change and people get older. You stayed stagnant relying on the same tired jokes and ideas, even when you tried to do your own thing to avoid Angry Video Game Nerd comparisons, you relied on pointless references and random humor. You still showed amateur knowledge of games, complaining about things that are standard, and your attempt to bash beloved classics only showed you had no clue what you were doing. The last year also had you jump on trends far too late, and you didn't understand what made those trends work. I've had many former fans of yours come to me, realizing that you were really only funny when they were 11 or 12 years old, but as they grew older they realized that you weren't funny at all, even on nostalgia. Speaking of, you're approaching 9 years on YouTube (not counting Y2B2006), old enough to be considered "internet nostalgic" and what do you have to show for it? Your channel hasn't even come close to 200k subs. Channels started much later managed to skyrocket past you (Markiplier and The Completionist began in 2012, JonTron in 2010) and you never tried to adapt. When you tried to make a separate Skylanders channel amidst complaints that you were releasing too many videos about them, you lasted a week and came back to your regular channel crying that "YouTube is too different". Not even trying to learn what's changed, or ask someone for help. I imagine Guru Larry, who had spent YEARS trying to help you, would have offered tips. But you never listened, you never took criticism. You hid behind sock accounts to deflect criticism (the most notable being your "mother"), you had your friend Eric Allen do the same early on (Eric, contact me, I've got questions), and after years of avoiding the most common criticism you received, you spoke out about it and instead threw everyone under the bus. You didn't really apologize, you played the victim while crying that James Rolfe is a big bad bully that purposely sabotaged you (without showing ANY evidence of this). You fucked up Chris, you tried to make easy money by stealing an idea, for a hobby you clearly have no clue about, and it got way too big and way over your head and you were forced to keep going, resulting in the position you're in now. Do you even have genuine fans at this point? Even DarkSydePhil somehow has those, and he's in a worse position than you.

I hope you're proud of yourself Chris. Enjoy your fucking ghosts.

Again, there might be more videos so this is not a goodbye post. But it will likely be a while before I post again.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

PSA: Beware the Fake Irate Gamer

Still no videos or updates. But I do need to address something.
Recently, I've been getting people telling me that Irate Gamer insulted them. That isn't entirely true. It's someone posing as the Irate Gamer, using his channel name and avatar. Calling people liars, attention whores, cursing at them, doing a lot of harm to Chris' (remaining) image.

This is the fake channel.
Notice how there's nothing there? If you see IG being hostile to someone, click his name and see if it's the fake. Chances are it's the fake.
Why Chris doesn't block this guy I don't understand.
So before you leave a comment here or e-mail saying that Chris cursed at you or called you a name, click the channel.

Another thing to note. I was checking his Socialblade page and I saw that he's no longer part of Collective Digital Studio (or Studio71). In fact, under "Network/Claimed By", it's listed as "None". He's not part of an MCN right now.
Chris, how about telling us what happened. Break the radio silence for once in your life. People want to know.

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Did Chris Give Up Again?

Another Friday gone by where Chris doesn't post anything. He's claiming "technical difficulties" but that excuse can only go so far, especially when he won't say what these difficulties are. I get the feeling he's being lazy or something is happening that he doesn't want to bring up.

March has been dead. On the 1st he posted another damn Skylanders video. He can't claim that his Skylanders stuff is popular because the views for that video are crap. Maybe now is the time to retire the toys. I mean, he retired everything amiibo related (including that blog), how about adding Skylanders to that list. Especially when you made it clear that you don't like any of the games after the first, complaining about "gimmicks" and you just want simple & stupid. Maybe that's why views are down too?

Then nothing nothing nothing until March 15th when he posted another art book "review". This one about The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I normally don't cover those because it's always the same thing. Chris looks through the book, says the pictures are cool, says there's text, and that fans of the game would probably like it. It's always obvious that he never actually played the game in question (though in the case of Fable Legends, nobody will play that game).
This is all just Chris selling out hard. He has no content, so he shills products most people likely won't buy. Despite what some people claim, selling out isn't "making money making internet videos", that's just capitalism. Chris making videos to promote garbage, that's selling out. He can't even get brand deals like Audible or Crunchyroll, who work with countless YouTube channels to promote their services, and those people always save the promotion for the end of the video. They don't make separate videos where the sole purpose is to shill the product or service.

Also, Chris claimed in the video that it's "review week" on his channel. .... He only posted one video. That's not a review week! Hell, shouldn't "review week" be YOUR JOB! Posting something every week?! God how dense are you?

The upcoming IG video better be like 12 minutes long. If it's short like the Excitebike video, then I know he's full of crap.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

There's Been No Videos of Substance, So Let's Talk Fair Use

February is almost over and it's been a dead month for Chris. Only three videos. Granted, it's a leap year and he could post something tomorrow, but we will see (he might read this and do so). Outside of the shitty app I talked about in the last post, the other two videos were about, surprise surprise, toys. Lego Dimensions Wave 3 and Minecraft action figures. Both videos were the same, he shows the packages, he unboxes them, and says they're really cool. There's some stupid stuff, like saying the Cyberman from Doctor Who "obviously" rides the Dalek like a vehicle (even though that never happened, could have rephrased that differently) but most of all they are boring. No wonder his subs stagnate or go down in big numbers when a new video comes out.

Soooo, let's talk about Fair Use. If you haven't been paying attention, the YouTube community has launched into a new campaign called "Where's the Fair Use" or #WTFU. Started by Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker, various YouTube users are making videos and posts wanting YouTube to change their copyright policies. Altering their draconian ID bots, fixing the monetization system, and most of all actually helping users that felt they were wronged. Doug himself recounted how his channel could not receive revenue for 23 days thanks to a copyright strike, and the people at YouTube would do nothing about it. Only when he made a video and brought it to people's attention that they restored their monetization. But this only convinced him to start the campaign. Several people came forward in support. I Hate Everything, YourMovieSucks, Boogie2988, Jim Sterling, AlphaOmegaSin, GradeAUnderA, Markiplier, Ross "RubberNinja" O'Donovan, SFDebris, TeamFourStar, and so many more. The movement has gained enough traction that YouTube's CEO noticed it (though it's likely she won't do anything outside of "Yeah I hear you whatever")

What does any of this have to do with Chris Bores?
I'm curious how much Chris suffers from YouTube's terrible policies and ID bots. He never brings it up, and with all the copyrighted material he randomly uses, I have to imagine there's been several issues. Then again, this is the man that willingly kept copyrighted Power Rangers footage on a DVD he sells for profit. See this is where Fair Use can get a bit muddy. Many of the above people use the footage for commentary or criticism, but even they know not to put their material on DVD unless given permission or it's public domain. Chris was not using the PR footage for commentary or criticism, but to pretend to fight a robot like an episode of the show. He didn't add anything to it, he just used it because he was too lazy to make his own robot costume. Not to mention the Back to the Future footage waaaaaay back in the first season. He claims he got permission, but I don't believe him.

You'd think Chris would take this opportunity to address his own problems with YouTube, because I have to imagine he has them. If he leaves his bubble for one minute, and actually addresses this very real issue, I'll gain a tiny sliver of respect for him. Chances are he won't do it. He ignores pretty much everything unless it involves making James Rolfe look bad.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Chris Promotes iOS Bloatware. Just Keep Digging Deeper!

I was going to save this video for a later post as I didn't want something so short. ... But then I watched it!

Last night, Chris uploaded a video promoting another crappy iOS app. This time something called "GetGiftz". You remember those old sites that said you could win cool stuff if you signed up for a bunch of shit or downloaded a bunch of programs, only to get bombarded with spam and computer-breaking viruses? Introducing the modern day iOS equivalent! It's an app that promises free gift cards... if you download a bunch of shitty apps. That's not dangerous at all!
You download the app, often having to fulfill an asinine requirement like "Reach Level 5" in some shitty RPG that probably has microtransactions out the ass, and then you get the points. Starting with 50, usually under 200 point a pop. How many do you need for a gift card? A $5 card is 2000 points. That's over 20 apps to download, you're going to hurt your phone or tablet with all that junk. That's not getting into the bigger rewards. You're better off just spending $5 of your own money than clogging your mobile device. If it even works as there's a lot of reviews stating they didn't get jackshit.
Chris, why would you promote this? Did you not do any rese- wait, I know he didn't. It's more than likely he saw the offer in his e-mail and took it without a second thought. He is so desperate for money. YouTube user Victor N made an excellent point in the comments. "Why not just hold up a sign "Will make YouTube video for food""

Screencap in case Chris deletes:
Oh and there's a shockingly sexist comment he made when going through the list of gift cards. He shows Target and says "I'm sure all the girlfriends out there will love that". ... What kind of sense does that make? Everyone shops at Target. It's affordable and has a lot of variety. It's not just women. The hell is wrong with you?

If this your idea of a "filler video" Chris, you need to reorganize your process. This shit is unacceptable, especially when it's something that can harm phones and tablets. If you're so desperate that you need to take all these brand deals, then maybe you should do some research on them for once in your life. This is your job, actually put in some effort.

Don't forget to download and backup the video. It's very likely he'll delete this one in a month or so (heavy dislikes).

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

No Videos Again, But Stuff Happened Outside

It’s been about 12 days since Chris posted a video (Excitebike was posted January 29th). But he has done quite a bit outside of making videos.

Chris is deleting videos again. I still don’t get it.
The two tech reviews he did this year are gone, the one with the shitty emulator & headphones and the one with the power bank & speaker. He also deleted the video about the Fable Legends art book.
Did he delete them due to the heavy dislikes? Hard to say since the videos about Gravity Falls figures and the crappy phone apps are still up. Maybe he doesn’t want to have too many videos with heavy dislikes? I’ve been informed that Chris is part of a new multi-channel network. Collective Digital Studio (though now they’re called Studio 71). They’re a notable MCN that have featured Freddie Wong, Cyanide & Happiness, Epic Meal Time, and Lucas “Fred” Cruikshank. Maybe they’re the reason Chris has put out a lot of videos lately? It doesn’t seem to be working as his views are still garbage, if anything they’re worse. Chris seems to believe putting out low quality crap is enough to please them. Why would CDS/S71 want Chris anyway? His name is toxic.

I recommend saving every video he puts out now. If he’s going to delete them within a month, this is the best course of action. Preservation is important.

Sometime last week, Chris changed his channel name from “Irategamer” to “Chris Bores TV”. He didn’t announce it, it just happened. But then it changed to “The Irate Gamer”. What was that about? That was so weird. Did he think his name was big enough to carry the channel? He’s deluded if he thinks so.

So why hasn’t Chris been posting anything? According to his Facebook, he took a week off because he made 13 videos in the last year. Incredible, that’s… really not a lot. Are you serious Chris? You’re bragging that you got 13 videos out? Also, is that including I Rate the 80’s because there’s only 12 episodes of “Season 5”. For some reason he’s including History of Video Games as part of those 12 episodes, no it doesn’t make sense but when has anything Chris done ever make sense?
13 videos is a pittance compared to the output others put out. Linkara himself commented on the last post on all the content he put out. 52 AT4W episodes, 62 Longbox of the Damned videos, two Let’s Play videos, two live shows, two riffs, 15 History of Power Rangers videos, and his movie. Don’t try to sound like 13 is a lot Chris.
If anything, that shows just how low effort all the other videos he puts out are. He doesn’t care about the others and thus he’s not including them. It’s clear that his intention is views and money, and it’s hurting him hard.

I also noticed he changed his “About” page. He removed links to GotGame and amiibo Informer. The latter makes sense, he hasn’t updated since July (dead site is dead). Though I question the former… is GotGame finally cutting him off? I know I’ve speculated about this before and he ended up releasing a Tales of Zestiria video, but this does raise red flags. However, he still lists GotGame as a featured channel under TheSkylanderC (which hasn’t updated in two months) and GotGame itself still lists him as a featured contributor. I don’t know, Chris is so terrible at communication that all we can do is guess.

My informant found an interesting tweet from him. Posted on Tweetsave for preservation.
Who’s Dana Terrace? She’s a storyboard artist and animator. She worked on Gravity Falls and she is going to be the director of the 2017 DuckTales reboot. Yep. Chris is begging to be a part of the new DuckTales series. Seems his comments back in March when talking about the reboot weren’t just wishful thinking, he legit wants to be part of the show. … What the fuck would you even do? You’re not an animator, you’re not an artist, and you’re certainly not a writer (no, having that ghost book doesn’t make you a writer). I don’t think they’d hire you either after your comments about Launchpad being stupid.
But wow, this is sad even for him. Begging directors on Twitter. It’s not going to happen Chris, show some fucking self-respect.

By the way, when’s your Hardcore Pawn appearance Chris? I suspect TruTV might have cancelled the show as it’s been 10 months since Season 9 ended. Take a look at when each season started and ended. There’s usually a month between them, with the longest being Season 8 to 9’s four month gap.
TruTV hasn’t confirmed renewal or cancellation, but this is really strange.

Now watch as Chris posts something new right after this goes up.