Tuesday, September 27, 2011

All New Fan Art and More!

IG is making a lot of changes, but I doubt any of them will help him or make him look better.

On the Haunted Investigators site, I noticed a big change with the DVD. Instead of three separate DVDs with two episodes each, it's one DVD with all six episodes and it's labeled as "Season 1". Don't you mean "The Complete Series"? No, he actually thinks Season 2 is coming. Chris, the last episode of "Season 1" was released in 2007. I doubt you will suddenly revive this series after four years, especially when Jennifer broke up with you.
Speaking of that, she's nowhere to be found on the site (with the exception of an article talking about them). She's not even on the DVD cover. Interesting considering she's in the opening theme, like she's important or something.
Either way, I don't see Haunted Investigators getting another episode. If, by some miracle, it does, I'm not recapping it. It's a snoozefest.

Another big change is on IG's YouTube channel. The red layout is gone as well as that ugly banner displaying all of characters. The channel is blue now and adorned with "Irate Entertainment", listing his four "shows" (including Haunted Investigators... dude give it up). The others are Irate Gamer, "History of Video Games" and I Rate the 80s.
His list of important links still doesn't have GotGame, and considering he doesn't list IG Neo at the top I'm really convinced that he's done with them.
Off-topic but remember that Raychul person I mentioned? Turns out she's Raychul Moore, ex-girlfriend of Dan "Shoe" Hsu, former editor-in-chief of Electronic Gaming Monthly. So she really does know more than I thought. I apologize, even I make mistakes. But at least I'm willing to admit them.

On his site, IG is now selling mouse pads. ... Really? Of all the things to sell merch of, your mind immediately goes to mouse pads? I'm convinced that he's using something similar to CafePress or Zazzle. The pad also has the same ugly-as-sin design as his t-shirt. Man, I pity the poor fools that wear that vomit-colored t-shirt in public.
Small update but he's changed his archived news page to the History of Video Games episode guide page. Thankfully, you can still access his older news and find his contradictions (the ones he didn't remove) at the bottom of the site. Still, it seems redundant since the History of Video Games episode guide is still under "Video Game Reviews" too.

Now that's all out of the way, here's what you came for. The all new fan art that Bores himself deemed worthy of putting on the site. Pfffft ahahaha.
For my last scathing report on his fan art, you can read it here. http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2011/01/fan-art-or-how-i-stopped-caring-and.html
I'll continue from Picture 41 (IG photoshopped onto The Comedian from Watchmen). All on Page 3.

Picture 42: IG is in the center, staring at the camera (what else is new?). He's surrounded by sprites looking at each other. On the left it's Mega Man, Mario (Super Mario Bros version), Trevor Belmont (not Simon, oops), Bill Rizer from Contra, and Sonic the Hedgehog (he really stands out being the only 16-bit sprite). On the right it's Pitfall Harry (Super Pitfall version), the shark from Jaws, Mikey from The Goonies, The Noid, and E.T. (Atari version, and he also stands out).
Ohhh I get it, it's good games staring down bad games. Kid, The Goonies II and Yo! Noid do not suck! Also, when did IG look at Super Pitfall? Sadly, this is the second best picture of this batch of "art".

Picture 43: Why was this made? His 3rd DVD cover already looks like that. It's "IG for NES" shaped in a classic NES box. The picture used is Bores giving his "I don't know" pose behind stacks of games. This one is the best of the six new pictures, the rest... oh good lord.

Picture 44: 50 hours in MS Paint! No, this is just crap. Labeled "Irate Gamer and Friends", we see IG in the center playing something (wearing the black & white shirt from Monster Party, funny how that's considered his classic wardrobe) with Ronnie giving him bunny ears (He never did that in the show! Why do fans insist on that happening?) and everyone else standing off the side. I see Tony, Wise Sage, ROB (this must be recent if he's a "friend"), Kool-Aid Man (because friends casually murder friends), Creepy Cousin Joey, Not-Earl Hindman, the 7-Up Spot (that's a friend?) and... Devil Bores? He qualifies as one of his "friends"? How is he not the evil one again? Oh and for some reason he's eating cake. I don't know, this was obviously done by a kid.

Picture 45: Oh my... where do I start with this? Here's "The Irate Gamer Comic Book" with "IRATE" in gigantic letters. It's drawn in pen. This isn't art, it's a doodle. This is something a kid draws in school when they're bored. In fact, that's exactly what I think happened here. *sighs*
This is "Issue 1" of the comic book. If Linkara did an episode on this, his head would explode.
Near the logo is some floating head with a hook nose saying "you bastard". ... Is that supposed to be the goblin "character"? There's a fan that actually cared to draw that? Good lord.

In the center is IG with deformed hands, smiling (given how Bores himself forgets his character is supposed to be angry, I'm not surprised) and a worm beneath him saying "Yag Irate Gamer". Is that a reference to something? *looks closer* No wait, that worm is supposed to be saying "Yay". Nothing better than indecipherable hand-writing.
On the right are all of his "characters". There's Shadow Overlord, the Genie (oh hey, someone who actually remembers him), Satan (who looks like a Boo from Mario), Ronnie, Wise Sage (who looks like he might have an eye infection), Tony with a giant "Bang-a-lang" word balloon, R.O.B., Evil Gamer (who looks like a hippie), R.E.D. (who looks like an Atraxi given a body), and Cousin Joey (who looks like Mario). This is what I call a clusterfuck.

On the left, it lists the "events" in the comic. "Irate Gamer meets the Angry German Kid", one's an indecipherable moron that's more popular than he needs to be, the other's the Angry German Kid. Wait... I think I know who drew this. But I'm not sure.
"Nude pics of Irate Gamer" EWWWWWWWWWW. God damn it kid! Funny how he depicts IG here looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. If he saw the He-Man video, he would know he looks nothing like that.
"Prank Call from Hell" It looks like Cousin Joey talking into a microphone. Really hard to tell here.
"Featuring Jiggliami" Wait, a Sonichu character? ... Oh my God now I know who drew this. It was Charlie. He's a fan of Angry German Kid and Sonichu (no joke, in a now-deleted video he said he was remaking Sonichu) and he's a gigantic IG fanboy. Son of a bitch. At least we know art isn't in his future.

Picture 46: *sees picture* ... *gets up, walks outside* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I... wow. Not only does this exist, but it exists on his site. Chris found this worthy enough to put on his fan art page.
Here we have the MS Paint doodle FROM HELL. On the left is a stick figure IG that looks high as fuck right now, shooting a gun and cursing. Below him is Mega Man saying "WTF?" With a floating Mario mushroom shooting lasers at him. Arthur from Ghouls & Ghosts, Pac-Man and Tanuki Suit Mario in one group, a red Halo Spartan and I think Michelangelo from the Ninja Turtles in another. This has to be a troll, what other explanation is there? Could there really be a kid dumb enough to make this?

Picture 47: The last one! Here's it's a picture made with CRAYONS of "Johnny Awesome" and IG. The two of them giving the peace sign.
Who's Johnny Awesome you ask? Sadly, I actually know this one. He's a 9-10 year old IG fanboy. And like Charlie, he's kind of messed up. He sent Bores his autograph, not only claims to be his best friend, but also his BROTHER, stays in contact with LadyBuggin, sent him Magic the Gathering cards because IG won a "contest" he held. He even claims the AVGN is his friend because IG said he was inspired by him and thus... ugh god damn. Where are his parents? Why do the parents insist on plopping their kids in front of the internet instead of actually raising them?
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheHUNTERX619 Here's his YouTube account, he once commented on my channel.

That's all the new pictures. Again, all the blame lies squarely on Bores. If these were on deviantArt I would ignore them. But since he put them on his site, it's his fault. He really is desperate for fan art considering he once posted two pictures with hidden messages, and this latest batch is probably the worst ever.

That's all I can take for now. Whatever happens next... I might write about it. Depends on if it's another stupid contest or update video.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

HE-MAN and the Painful Action Figure Review!

God damn, Bores is actually doing stuff. A new channel layout, updates to his site, some stuff I missed, and the subject of this recap.
A lot of that other stuff will be brought up soon, but time for more of his “I’m such an 80s kid, don’t you other 80s kids enjoy this?” garbage.

So we’re going to see IG talk about He-Man action figures. I could be crude, but I want to try and conduct myself with a little class.
Personally, I don’t get He-Man. The cartoon is utter shit, and I really don’t care for action figures in general. Sure if something looks cool I’ll grab it, but I don’t go out of my way to collect them.

“This time Irate covers He-man and how it revolutionized the Action figures paradigm.” What does that even mean?! Ugh, start the video…

0:05 - 0:16: Okay seriously? This crowded desk isn’t working, it’s just intrusive. It’s like Bores doesn’t care if they listen, he just shoves a whole bunch of shit in front of the camera hoping that’s enough to keep their attention.
“Just happened to be the very first thing I collected as a kid” That explains a lot… well it explains something.

0:17 - 0:30: We get some stock footage that’s obviously not from the 80s as IG goes into the history of He-Man that he took directly from Wikipedia. I can search “Masters of the Universe” too Chris.
“They ended releasing a barbarian line of action figures called *pause* He-Man” You seem to be forgetting that the overall name of this franchise is Masters of the Universe. Yes I know most kids didn’t care for that name but you’re not a kid anymore.

0:30 - 0:48: He goes into the first series of figures, proceeding to list them off. He ends on Beast-Man, prompting a green-screen effect with IG jumping next to the figure and growling. Was that necessary? Did that joke add ANYTHING to this? It’s like he’s saying “Look what I can do everyone! Aren’t I awesome?” Fuck’s sake…
*looks at his face* You really need to take laxatives, that can’t be healthy for you.

0:48 - 1:09: Blah blah blah, animated tie-in, never been done before, yeah yeah yeah. You know, this could be interesting if I didn’t know what happens later in the video. This is going to get really bad.

1:10 - 1:39: Pffft, wow. Nice “80s TV”. Who knew flat screens that nice existed in 1983? And with Comcast cable too!
He starts listing off series 2 characters, ending on Faker… except he’s not there. This is where things get really bad. It cuts to Skeletor watching Bores, and… really? Are we really doing this? *downs Vicodin” Okay.
Skeletor here is Bores wearing his Ronnie mask with a blue hood and blue-tinted skin. Oh God he’s not wearing a shirt!
“You idiotic show host” Well, at least he’s right about one thing, he is idiotic.
For some reason, Skeletor took IG’s action figure of Faker. Why? Well, hopefully we’ll get an explanation.

1:40 - 2:00: He goes into series 3, thankfully he spares us and only lists a handful of the figures in that set. He holds up Kobra Khan and sprays himself in the face. Just to show it can do that I guess? No, it’s more “wackiness”.

2:00 - 2:14: IG brings up the vehicles, accessories, and playsets. And since we can’t have list without a “zany” joke, the camera zooms in onto one of the sets, the door opens and IG is using his green screen to pretend he’s in it. Then the Beast-Man figure shows up to scare him. You know, this is just delving into “why is this needed” on endless loop, and it’s really grating on my nerves.
EDIT: I missed this before, but Bores doesn't actually own the playsets. If you look closely you can see their just pictures imposed onto his desk. Thanks to the Necro Critic for pointing this out.

2:15 - 2:45: He brings up that 1985 was a big year for He-Man due to the theatrical He-Man & She-Ra movie. And it’s just as shit as the cartoon.
“I remember seeing this movie in the theaters as a kid, and it was awesome!” You were five, take off the goggles, and watch it again.
This leads into listing a few of the series 4 figures. You know, there are people on YouTube that review action figures, power to them. They can make an interesting and entertaining product, I’ve seen TJOmega’s Plastic Addict videos. The issue here is Bores isn‘t “reviewing“ them, he’s just saying their names and displaying them on camera. For someone that does care enough about action figures, is this respectful or just plain dumb?

2:46 - 3:07: He goes on about how the movie was really a bridge between He-Man and She-Ra. How He-Man is being written out and She-Ra will replace him. Thus establishing the pattern that movies based on shows based on toys are all about advertising the newest pieces of plastic. Sometimes they’ll get fucking dark like Transformers. But screw actually bringing this up!
He mentions series 5 but thankfully he doesn’t list them since they’re She-Ra villains, and notes how the other She-Ra toys were mainly for girls. How’d you figure that one out Poirot?

3:08 - 3:23: The figures are on their last legs, and IG mentions how series 6 was the last to come out. Really? Cause I’m looking up the He-Man Wiki and it lists a seventh series. Granted there were only two figures total, and they were just He-Man & Skeletor repackaged with lasers, but at least mention it.
IG mentions that series 6 has the now hard-to-find Sorceress figure… and IG proceeds to hit on her. I thought we were done with this creepy shit Bores? What’s worse is he edits her face to make her look interested. What have I said about the fan fiction?

3:23 - 3:44: IG moves onto the 2002 relaunch and takes out a paper bag with the new figures. Once again, listing them off while putting their 80s counterpart next to them. All he says is that they look impressive. And for added wackiness, he gets sprayed by Kobra Khan again. Cause that wasn’t moronic the first time.
EDIT: When listing off the figures, he's showing both versions of Tri-Klops but calls him Man-E-Faces. Thanks to the Necro Critic for pointing this out.
I won't berate Bores because he actually acknowledged it in the description. However, this leads to him saying he'll release a fixed "master version" for DVD. HE'S PLANNING A DVD OF THIS! If that cartoon footage is still there, Mattel is going to sue him hard. Or whoever owns the rights now.

3:45 - 4:03: We get to the “rating” and given his last two episodes, it’s pretty obvious what it’s going to get here.
“This one’s another Nostalgic Overload” *throws hands up* WHAT DO YOU KNOW I’M PSYCHIC! Look, you can’t expect people to take this seriously when EVERYTHING is a “Nostalgic Overload”. People lose interest. Especially when you barely release videos already.

So is this the end of the video? *slams head on desk* Ohhhh I wish.
IG leaves and Skeletor walks in, IG immediately walks back because his “apartment” is only one room. Hey look, a cameo from sloppy film-making 101 (look at the ceiling when Bores walks in).
Note that the action figure Skeletor is holding is now blue. Showing that Bores isn’t covered in blue paint, but he edited his body in post-production. After Effects is win guys!
By the way, we don’t get a real explanation for why Skeletor wants his He-Man action figures. Just “he’s evil” I guess.
Seeing this “terrible crime”, IG takes out a sword and does the He-Man battle cry “By the power of Grayskull! I have the power!” and somehow still retaining his normal clothes. This is actually a good thing, I don’t want to see him dressed as He-Man... Ugh.

IG swings his sword and … somehow causes Skeletor to explode. So this is what Michael Bay directing Masters of the Universe would look like.
“Silly Skeletor, He-Man is for kids!” Yes, it is for kids. Hand them over, you’re 31 years old.
Then … the Trix Rabbit shows up and yells at him. “Heeeey, that’s my line!” No. No. No! NO! NO! That’s not the Rabbit’s line! The Rabbit disguises himself, tries to get the Trix, gets foiled, and the nearby KIDS say “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids”. You’d think someone so obsessed with cereal would know this pattern! God damn it this was awful!

As a history lesson, it fails. I could just read the same exact thing on Wikipedia, with actual names and more info. As a “review” it fails. He told us nothing about the action figures. What made them so great? Were they fun? Did they have articulation? Don’t just list them! The sketches felt like rejected ideas from his regular IG show… and that’s pretty fucking low.

That’s not all though, I have a tiny bonus. His “I rate the 80s” site is now up.
There’s very little to it, it just lists the six episodes (Breakfast Rants? I don’t know what you’re talking about) and a tagline.
“Half documentary, Half zany antics, Chris is recapping everything from the 1980s in this hit YouTube series”
I see Chris still hasn’t learned his lesson. His idea about being informative and adding “Irate Gamer comedy” is like getting a brand covered in needles, nothing but pain!
And there he goes again saying “hit series”, all to make himself look more important than he really is. Humble my ass.

That’s all I can stand. It’s 2 in the morning, I should probably sleep. Maybe.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Y2B is No More. Introducing "Irate Entertainment"

One of my readers, blueluigi, posted a comment that Bores updated the episode guide on his site. The next episode is the "Robot War Aftermath" and will cover an Atari game. What war? It's not a war if a Dale- er ROB did all the work and we barely saw anything. It didn't even get hurt, the HAL-bots didn't even try to put up resistance.
After that is an NES game, and after that another NES game. I like how he hasn't even decided what games he's going to cover, just "an Atari game, and a couple of NES games, sure let's go with that". Nice planning Bores.

However, this is not the most interesting thing I found. I went to his channel and noticed a few changes.
I'll start on a positive note. He changed his channel description to remove that "genius mind" line, maybe he actually does listen to the thousands of people that don't like him? However, the description also says he tries to release videos once a week. Pfffthahaahahahaha. Considering there was a MONTH between that Micro Machines video and RoboCop Part 2... oh he means videos in general. I see reuploads of Neo videos and a bunch of update and contest videos. Yeah, real consistent.

The biggest change is that his website is no longer "www.y2bproductions.com" but now it's "www.irateentertainment.com". Has Bores changed his fake company? It looks like it. Though "Irate Entertainment" is just as fake.
I'll get to the website in a second, I want to bring up how under "Irate Gamer Links" where he lists his sites, his Facebook and Twitter that he rarely updates (the former of which is a hive of fanboys, I'd like to thank my informant for telling me this) and DatBoiDrew's site, a big site is gone. Where's GotGame? Have they finally called it quits? Has GotGame gotten tired of his lazy bullshit? Tired of wasting money giving him free games that he'll never review? I hope so, I don't want to see Bores at E3 again.

Now to check this "Irate Entertainment" site. We see three giant "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME" pictures that lead to other sites. The first is Haunted Investigators (pffft, that's still going? Come on!) The picture removed Jennifer. Under that it says "YouTube's Most Popular Ghost Hunters". This is actually true as the only other ghost hunting channel I found has about 577 subscribers. Granted this isn't a popular genre of videos, and it's only "popular" because he posted the videos on a channel that's popular for video games. Not really something to be proud of Chris.

Then a link to IG's site. The picture has IG, Ronnie, the main HAL-Bot, Tony and Wise Sage. "Video Gaming with a Dash of Insanity" The video gaming part is right, there are video games. Insanity though... if your idea of insane is putting you to sleep.

And a link to an unfinished I Rate the 80s site. The picture is Bores sitting behind all his 80s crap. "Chris Rates Everything from the 80s" Everything? Oh man I can't wait for the episodes about Ayatollah Khomeini, AIDS, and the Ronald Reagan years.

Underneath all the giant pictures is a bit of text explaining who Chris Bores is.
"He has since worked at Television stations, as well as Television Programs, Documentaries, Commercials, Instructional videos, and more" Why do I sense bullshit? Can we see all these things you worked on? Also, TV stations and TV programs? Doesn't that seem redundant?

"He previously held the prestigious award of being the #55th most subscribed channel on YouTube..." Wow, that was years ago and he still grasps to that one moment. As of this post, the current 55th most subscribed is "WongFuProductions" with 926,812 subscribers. Bores is nowhere on this list since YouTube only ranks the 100 most subscribed, and #100 is "kandeejohnson" with 640,699. *looks at Chris' number* Wow, no wonder you hold on to that "honor", you'll never achieve that level.
Is "55th place" really that special though?

"... and has featured in a variety of articles and publications" PROOF?! DO YOU HAVE IT?! You know what this is? This is more of his lies. Sure, we know he's lying but what if someone who has no idea who he is stumbles across that site? They'll believe it because they don't know any better. It's more of his deception, and that's what I really find disgusting.

That's seems to be all of the big changes. But something's missing... oh! The Chris & Scottie Roadtrip is gone. Safe to say that series no more now. ... Good.

That seems to be it. Let's see how long it takes for Bores to do that "Robot War Aftermath". Good lord.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The RoboCop Conclusion of Did Something Happen?

The newest Irate Gamer episode has arrived, and it only took three months to get here! This schedule slip is out of hand. It’s one thing to barely get videos out, that’s fine, people have lives and actual excuses. But with Bores he’s just being lazy, and he continues to boast about how great he is despite episodes taking 3-8 months to come out. And considering his track record, this maybe the only other Irate Gamer episode coming out this year. Boy, your fans must looooove your slow-as-hell schedule.

So yeah, RoboCop Part 2. In the title he says he’ll review RoboCop 2 and 3, and he’s still doing his dumb “HD = Brand New Show” idea by calling this Episode 3. The good thing I can say is that this video is much shorter than usual, a little over seven minutes long. Means I don’t have to suffer as much.

0:00 - 0:18: We get a previously on segment that only shows the last scene of the RoboCop video. Robots invading the city? Why should I show that? It’s not like its important to the badly-made plot I’m doing.

0:19 - 1:01: IG starts his “review” of RoboCop 2 for the NES. He explains the game, you need to collect the pieces of “Nuke” littered across the street and shoot the bad guys. While the Nuke part is correct, the goal is to ARREST the suspects not shoot them. He is a police officer, they only use deadly force as a last resort.
He beats the level but fails because he did something wrong, whining that they don’t explain. Once again, this is where instruction manuals would be handy. Or at least look up info on the game.
Also, wouldn’t it be a good idea mention that Nuke is the drug from the second movie? It would probably help to WATCH it before doing the video. Then again, you didn’t care to see the first one so what makes me think you’ll do it here.

1:02 - 1:23: He tries again but since he missed a piece he failed again. “You piece of sheeeit” and he still can’t curse properly. This is followed up by a painfully forced faceplam. At least he didn’t explain what he was doing again.

1:24 - 2:00: “Time to montage this bitch!” Who talks like this?
As he said, we get a padding montage. Full of IG making faces that look like he volunteered for extra-strength laxative testing. Doesn’t Chris realize this isn’t anger? Hello pointless fire effect.

2:01 - 2:55: The montage finally ends with IG being told he didn’t complete the objective and has to go to the firing range, however he doesn’t see the top part, only the part about the firing range. Smooth.
I checked the instruction manual online, the firing range happens if you fail. Sometimes you’ll be forced to start over, sometimes you’ll get a second chance on the range.

He explains how it works, adds sound effects that aren’t actually from the game (quit doing this, it’s not funny) and adds the Hamburgler as one of the targets. Look, a mascot that has absolutely nothing to do with the game I’m playing! LAUGH! Seriously what is your deal with food mascots? The Grimace in Resident Evil 5, the Kool-Aid Man, and now this?

He fails the targeting range and is forced to redo the first stage. We get some terrible acting from IG, followed by a long string of… bleeped cursing? Umm, I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong. You know, it doesn’t really make sense to have uncensored cursing for four years and then do something like this. Are you afraid LadyBuggin is going to faint from all that naughty language? Please, she’s just as bad, if not worse.

2:55 - 3:28: After failing again, he whines about having to start over again and again, has had enough and ends the “review”. *checks Game Genie sites* Nope, no codes for RoboCop 2 on the NES.
We then get a “cartridge destruction” scene that I’m sure is just one of the 50 copies of SMB/Duck Hunt he got off eBay.
“I wonder how ROB the Robot is doing” Cue scene transition!

3:29 - 4:16: We cut to Chromakey-opolis as the HAL-bots are still rampaging. ROB blows up a couple of them, oh lovely these are the “Easy Mode FPS” kind of robots where AI doesn’t matter.
We then cut to more people running, and he’s using the same costumes as last time since I see the guy dressed as the AVGN. Cousin Joey shows up… AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH *slaps self*

I have a question, where are his parents? Do they just let him roam around the streets alone? I doubt they were kidnapped by the robots since Joey is ignorant to the chaos going on around him. Oh for fuck’s sake I’m trying to apply logic to the Irate Gamer again, god this is moronic.
ROB shows up, KILL HIM KILL HIM! Oh I wish, instead ROB kills the HAL-bot. Joey then found it awesome and wants to see it again. Bores, Joey has no fans, I have no idea where you got this idea he has fans, get rid of him!

4:17 - 4:50: Back at IG’s room, he starts his “review” of RoboCop 3. He says this one is the best of the three. Short review, see ya *gets forced back down*
IG complains that it takes at least 3 shots to kill enemies. Okay that’s a fair- but he ruins this point by bringing up how RoboCop is half-man, half-machine and that they should go down in one shot. Psst, being half-machine doesn’t make your bullets stronger. It can increase his accuracy but from the looks of it he’s shooting them in the torso. I imagine these criminals are wearing bulletproof vests since this is the kind of future where crime owns the city. If it took three PUNCHES for RoboCop to take out enemies then it’s worth complaining, but bullets and machine-powered punches are different. WATCH THE MOVIES!

Looking through a guide, you can upgrade your bullets to go faster but it would still take three shots to take down an enemy. Either way, that’s not how bullets work.

4:51 - 5:51: IG brings up a stage with jetpack, and at the end of it you defeat the boss but have to go back through the stage again. Boy, I’d hate to see his reaction to the clock tower in Castlevania III if THIS annoys him. Actually, according to the story your jetpack is empty and that’s why you can’t use it.
He thinks he can use his jetpack back through the level (why yes, he is so blind he can’t see the jetpack is gone) and purposely falls into a hole. Why am I getting Aladdin flashbacks?

He keeps trying to jump over the pit. Say, why don’t you try killing the enemy, slowly edge over to the pit then jump over to get across? He keeps trying, after the third time asking “can this game get any worse?” He falls again and lands in the second game. Har har ha-ugh.

5:52 - 6:03: “Damn robots can’t rely on them for anything.” This quote prompts a random appearance from Megatron. It looks like DatBoiDrew was responsible for that because it actually looks good. His voice though… that sounds nothing like him! He sounds more like Starscream in later series like Transformers Armada or Transformers Animated.
After IG tells Megatron he wasn’t referring to him, he leaves. You know, I remember a Family Guy episode had an appearance from Megatron that was completely random and just as unfunny, but give the FG appearance credit in that they actually got Frank Welker to do the one line. Is it really that hard to find someone to impersonate one of the most popular villains in 80’s animation? By the way, Big Lipped Alligator Moment.

6:04 - 6:18: In the end, he says the game isn’t that bad and brings up how you could even customize RoboCop. “You can pimp out RoboCop” and with that he adds random colors to him. Uhh…
He also wonders if he can add “hydralics” and he makes RoboCop “dance” by making him move up and down to generic techno. Followed by IG saying “look at him go….” in an extremely boring tone. I’d call this the most embarrassing thing to happen to something written by Frank Miller, but I remember All-Star Batman & Robin exists.

6:19 - 6:32: IG wonders why ROB isn’t back yet when OH WOW. Wise Sage hops into the shot like he can’t move his legs. It’s like a badly-animated cartoon that couldn’t bother to show someone walking so they move by static pictures. Did you not notice how unrealistic this is?

Good lord this editing, it cuts in the middle of his sentence. And he’s playing Mario now? Listen to the pause sound effect, can he change game cartridges with his mind now? No, this is something TV shows that know nothing about video games do, they get stock sound effects instead of the realistic ones. Like when a game from the late 90s has the sound effects of Pac-Man for the Atari 2600.

The video ends with ROB in front of Wilson er Wilkins’ fence (LOOK A CALLBACK TO A PREVIOUS EPISODE AM I CLEVER NOW?) when Evil Gamer shows up, angry that he destroyed all his minions. Then why not make more? You have the means and technology. He orders ROB to return to be reprogrammed, instead he fires a laser and kills… err singes him. So it can vaporize robots but it only mildly hurts humans. *picks up phone* Consistency, can you please pick up?

Then there’s a random stinger with Evil Gamer looking at the camera (I guess even they pick up his bad habits) as Not-Wilson appears and… the video ends.

Well that was… extremely forgettable. It wasn’t a really painful video, but it was still bad. While I’m glad the plot didn’t overtake the review portion, he barely talked about the games. The jokes were either bland or made zero sense. Overall though, this episode will be quickly forgotten. It doesn’t help that there was a lack of parody material in it.

That’s all for now, I’m going to take a long walk.