Tuesday, October 28, 2014

More "Pursuing". Are We Supposed to Take This Seriously?

Throughout the month, Chris has been posting more "Pursuit of the Paranormal" videos. As in more snippets from the DVD. Despite his claim earlier that the upcoming videos would be from "other investigations" (it's clear these are all from the same place).

The videos are the same dumb crap. Addressing matters that really don't make sense, like the "mass" of a ghost (aren't ghosts incorporeal, as in you can go through them?), or if ghosts are bound by time, and he even prays for them. What is this?
At one point, he brings up an excerpt from the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Chris, do you not understand the purpose of these texts? They weren't writing about spirits, they were the culture's interpretation of what happens after we die. Not to mention it's ANCIENT, long before our time. During a time when they made up stories in order to understand the world. And again, how is a book about Egyptian philosophy supposed to help you in FLORIDA?

I've had comments in the last post bring up how Chris' methods are laughable, and nobody would take him seriously. I think that says it all.
And the views reflect that.

*checks his site* Nothing...
You know, I'm starting to wonder if GotGame dropped him and he just doesn't know it.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Pursuit of the Teaser! Funnier Than You Might Think

I get the feeling that Chris’ plan with that last video was “If I come clean, people will love me now, and they’ll watch anything I put out.” Chris didn’t seem to realize that nobody cares about his ghost hunting. Hence, this barely has any views.

Knowing that Chris probably wouldn’t have anything of substance for a long time, I decided to watch it. It’s merely a 15 minute segment from the 54 minute Pursuit of the Paranormal DVD.

… This was fucking hilarious. I wasn’t going to make a post about it, but oh my god this was funny
To any of the CA reviewers that read my blog, you have to review/riff the whole thing.

0:00 - 0:35: We open with an intro from Chris. Saying that he’s “evolved” since this was taped, and has found so much more. So you went from finding nothing to finding… more nothing?

0:36 - 1:38: “A Chris Bores Film” Calling this a film is being waaay too generous.

“Tonight! We’re headed to one of the most haunted locations in the U.S.” And this is where it hits you. The “pulse-pounding” “spooky” music, the cheesey announcer, this is an episode from a terrible reality TV show. At least with some reality TV, they seem to understand it’s bad, they know it’s a joke. But Chris taking this completely serious, and that’s what makes it hilarious!
They go over some of the other “highlights”, how what they find changes everything, blah blah blah.
Then it cuts to Bores in a graveyeard, and oh my god this shot. He walks up to the camera, and removes his sunglasses in a dramatic fashion. I can’t stop laughing, this is the dumbest thing.

“I am one of the leading ghost communicators in the field of ghost hunting” Hahahahahahaha. Oh wow. Chris, I recommend you look up the term “overly narrow superlative”.

“By using ancient texts like the Tibetan book of the dead, the Egyptian book of the dead, the Kabbalah” How are those first two supposed to help you in Florida and Ohio? Also, isn’t Kabbalah just a philosophy of Judaism, not a “text” like the Necronomicon?
“And using things like Psychology” PSYCHOLOGY?! How mystical! Hahaha. I don’t watch Ghost Hunters, but is it this cheesy and stupid?
“Interacting with spirits has never been more intriguing” If you’re into alternate methods to Ambien, then it’s very intriguing.

“Joining me on this hunt is Alan Cicco” Hi Alan. Wait, his last name is pronounced “Sisko”? Like the Star Trek DS9 captain? I’ve been pronouncing it “Sicko” for all these years! Hey, pardon me if I don’t assume only the first “C” uses the S sound, and the others don’t. It’s not my fault your name is all C’s!
“The pursuit for knowledge is on!” Yeaaaah you’re not going to find anything. You’ll have just as much knowledge about the afterlife as you do about video games.

1:39 - 2:39: The show begins proper. Their “investigation” takes them to St. Augustine, Florida, the location of the St. Augustine Lighthouse. Hmmm *looks up info* Ghost Hunters already did an episode on this! In 2006! With a “Return to” special in 2008! In fact, looking further into the lighthouse, it’s owned by a museum, and they get PAID for people to “hunt ghosts”. It’s a racket! http://www.staugustinelighthouse.com/events/darkofmoon.html

They’re making money off idiots! … Hmmm, I wonder how much cause I’m getting ideas.
It’s not even listed in Wikipedia’s “List of reportedly haunted locations in the United States”.

Bores narrates the history of the lighthouse, that people have seen apparitions of children, “shadow people” (the hell?) and apparently something caught on video. All I see is a dark picture of stairs with something edited in. It looks really fake.

“Once the sun finally sets, we’re anxious to get inside, and begin pursuing the paranormal” Pffffft hahahahahahaha. This is too much.

2:40 - 5:00: So the tour guide (probably laughing his way to the bank as these idiots pay him) explains all these supposed footstep sounds and children giggling, and apparently footstep marks on the ground. We then get a picture that Bores labeled “actual photograph” to try and make it sound this was real. It looks so fake. Like a cartoonist drew in those feet.

You know what these ghost tours remind me of? The Chamber of Farts in South Park. It promises to be scary, but it’s all gas.

The tour guide takes them to the basement. Something about the ghost being a girl who drowned. He claims she follows him, and she’s jealous of other girls… This all sounds like it’s from a script. Like the museum owners hire writers, and tell their employees to memorize this shit.
Around the end of his exposition, the tour guide mentions that a “keeper” would appear at the end of a dark hallway. Sounds like P.T. … Man, I’d rather be playing the new Silent Hill. At least that’s legit spooky.

5:01 - 8:00: The hunt begins! Yaaaay…
Of course, it’s all in night vision.
Alan assures that we’ll “definitely” hear noises. Probably sensible things, like the wind, or the building settling. Things that actually happen.
Bores mentions shadow people again (seriously, what?), Alan puts down a couple of lights on a bench, he sits next to them and starts saying in an almost “sensual” way “I’ve got these lights here, want to come over?” Wow, Shawn at TotalActionAdventure wasn’t kidding about Alan’s “smoothness”.
Then Bores interrupts and exposits how those lights (or K2 Meters) work.

Pauses… then Alan reacts like he hears something. He starts calling out, asking if he could bring a “bucket” upstairs (I must have missed something wha?), and they keep showing the stairs. I told you man, I told you about stairs!
They think they see something (probably a mouse) and start trying to talk to “it”.
Apparently they hear something, and Bores replays it 3 times. … I don’t hear anything. *listens closer* That’s not a girl. It sounds more like a mouse squeaking. I think a lot of these “hauntings” are the works of rodents.

Nothing happens… nothing happens… exactly how is this different from Haunted Investigators? Because it’s a lot of the same shit. Also, how were those books from earlier supposed to help?

8:00 - 11:17: Still a lot of nothing. Then they think they hear footsteps, and the reality show music returns. You know, it’s the music that makes it hilarious. The parts where it’s not playing it’s soooo boring.
Then they think they hear another voice. They replay it but I don’t hear a god damn thing.
He tries calling for the keeper but nothing
“After a few minutes of getting no response…” I realized this was a pointless endeavor and went to find a much more worthy use of my time.
No, they head into the basement instead.

“I’m feeling really odd down here” It’s called primal fear, a fear of the dark. The constant fear that something’s always near, the phobia that someone’s always there. *goes to listen to Iron Maiden for a bit*
Sorry about that.

Bores interrupts to bring up “that feeling”, and they’ve done enough investigations to know that when “that feeling” happens, something is there. What is “that feeling”? He doesn’t really describe it. I still think it’s primal fear.
One of their meters gets a reaction, and they try to call out. They think they hear a voice (again, I don’t hear a damn thing). The cheesy reality show music plays again.
Alan tries the smooth moves again. Too fucking funny.

11: 17 - 13:45: And so begins the “conversation” with the dead. Supposedly the ghost girl they mentioned earlier.

They ask questions, and the lights happen. It’s dumb. It’s all accented by goofy reality show music. Man, he really did want this on TV.
They keep asking questions… I don’t care.
Then Chris asks the “trailer” question. “Is being alive the same as being dead?” And they don’t get a “response” NO SHIT CHRIS! HOW DUMB ARE YOU?!
And then the “ghost” stops “talking”

The video ends back to Chris in his game room.
He claims the reason “she” “responded” is more interesting than what he’s seen on TV. That’s exactly what a snake oil salesman would say!
He mentions “90 minutes” again. We know it’s 54 Chris! Unless you released a new version.
He claims this was his “first steps” in this “case study”. How was that different from what you did before? This was exactly like Haunted Investigators.
And he brags about how his methods aren’t seen anywhere else. Probably because you found nothing! Ghosts. Aren’t. Real.

Oh and he even knows that his subscribers didn’t subscribe for this. Then make a separate channel! Oh wait, you even failed at that! Logic is dead…

Okay, maybe this wasn’t completely hilarious. But it did have moments where Chris wanted it to be serious, but he completely failed. I mean, is rational thought just that hard?
Supposedly, the next ghost videos will have more “proof”. Haha no. Your time would be better spent finding extraterrestrial life. At least I can believe aliens exist, somewhere out there.

I’ll say it again. Making online reviews is more of a “real job” than this.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Chris Bores "Opens Up" a Truckload of Bullcrap

Who knew Bores had it in him to make a 39 minute video? *breathes* This isn’t going to be fun.

On October 2nd, Bores posted a video response to TheArchfiend, that in reality is Bores going over his “YouTube career”, and his “connection” with the Angry Video Game Nerd. It’s not a response at all.
Why did Bores choose now to talk about this? My guess, he’s not getting views anymore, so he’s reigniting old drama in the hopes of getting people to watch again. That’s not going to work if you’re just going to go back to more Skylanders vlogs and shit about ghosts.

When he posted the video, I had my reservations talking about it. But a lot of you requested I debunk it as there is a lot of bullshit shoveled forth.
I hope you have time to spare, this is going to be a LONG one.

0:00 - 1:26: Bores opens the video mentioning TheArchfiend’s video, and that it had “great points”. The video was actually Archfiend complaining that people are still hating his new friend and they need to leave him alone and to let him like Skylanders. He seemed to confuse “this is the fucking worst, plz die” with “Please go back to making retro reviews, I’m tired of the Skylanders videos”. Of course, Archfiend usually knows all the facts. Like how movies are the easiest thing to make and don’t require things like lighting, microphones, catering, make-up, equipment rental, renting land, building sets, temporary living space, people to operate all the equipment, actors, VFX work, and of course money to pay for all of this.

Chris claims he hasn’t done a video like this before because “he’s not good at riffing to the camera”. This is riffing? Well, maybe you should have scripted this, that way it wouldn’t be so long-winded and filled with “um uh um”.

1:27 - 4:40: He rewinds back to 2006 and “how it all started”. He mentions he was posting Haunted Investigators on YouTube, and that the views were “mediocre”. OBJECTION! There’s a contradiction here. Back in 2006, you were using your “Y2B2006” account, where you posted Mythbusters “parodies”, that awful “Back to the Past” short, and not actual episodes of Haunted Investigators. Rather, commercials for the DVDs you were trying to sell. You didn’t actually post an episode until 2007 (he made the video private) on your Irate Gamer channel, when you were actually getting views.
See unlike you Chris, I do research. It’s not hard to find this stuff out.

UPDATE (10/8/2014): And apparently I didn't do enough research... Seems he did post shorter Haunted Investigator videos on his Y2B2006. I just got evidence of this (see below). My mistake, I apologize. See, it's not hard to admit your mistakes Chris.

Anywho, he mentions “angry reviewing” and how he stumbled across it.
He mentions James and Armake21 (he finally realizes it’s pronounced Armake, not Armac), he subscribed to a lot of them, even e-mailed them. He never heard back but had hoped to one day collaborate with them (HA!)

UPDATE: (10/8/2014): Mike just sent me this picture of his Y2B2006 account back in August 23rd 2007.

Notice that he's subscribed to only two people. Himself, and James. Either he's lying about being subscribed to all the other reviewers, or for some reason he unsubscribed everyone else.
It also proves that he subscribed to his IG channel with a secondary account. As I mentioned below, I saw him leave comments with it. "Great Video!" he would say, pretending that he's someone else. Like a "sockpuppet". Hmmmmmmmmm.

He said he didn’t start right away because he “didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes” and do what everyone else was doing. That didn’t stop all the other people, and it still doesn’t stop other people from trying to be the next PewDiePie or Game Grumps.
No, his claim is that he knew it would lead to everything that happened over the next few years. Uh, no you didn’t. You say that now after all that’s happened, but I doubt you had the foresight to see all this.

He then goes on to say the “catalyst” for starting was a video someone posted where they asked James about all the “imitators” and other people doing angry reviews, and James responded that he was flattered. So this inspired Bores to do his own reviews. I’m not going to ask about the video as it’s likely loooong-gone.

4:41 - 5:50: Flash forward to March 2007, and he decides to do Back to the Future cause he always hated that game (uh huh). He calls the jokes corny and stupid, and he admits that he “borrowed” from other reviews because he “didn’t know what to do”. Well, if you always hated the game, surely you could have come up with some original material. Don’t try to claim “it’s my first time” as a reason to steal. This only makes it more obvious you were never a gamer.

He brings up that his circle of friends found it funny, he made more videos (Where’s Waldo, Goonies II), and that they barely got views. Say Chris, why aren’t these friends in your videos? Serious question, you really could benefit from more people in them.

5:51 - 8:36: Summer of the same year, GameTrailers had an “OutNerd the Nerd” competition. I tried looking this up and very little info is out there. A couple of the videos are still up on GameTrailers, and Derek “Happy Video Game Nerd” Alexander’s old site mentions it, but I can’t find something like an announcement page or video.
He says his few fans at the time told him to enter, and that someone from GameTrailers told him to enter (I doubt this, it’s likely just a person that had a forum account telling him to do it, not someone that actually worked with the company), and so every video from Summer 2007 was entered into this contest. They were? Cause looking at the videos, there’s zero mention of this contest. Unless he went back and removed that…but why mention that now and nowhere else? Like his biography, or the 200th video that’s pretty similar to this but waaaay shorter?

Basically, he uses this contest as an excuse for why his early videos were exactly like the AVGN’s. Well, maybe you should have put “OutNerd the Nerd contest” in them, and maybe you wouldn’t have gotten flack for it!
He claimed the people at GT told him he was going to win (again, likely just forum users, not actual staff)
Then he finds out the Happy Video Game Nerd won, and he was angry because he watched the video and “it was nothing like the Nerd”. It may have not been exact, but he did “outnerd” him, by bringing up more info, trivia, and just being a bigger “nerd”. Your videos were full of inaccurate info, likely the biggest reason you lost. Or the other likely reason is that you didn’t mark them as contest entries.

Then he claims that he heard the contest was rigged, and that James had a hand in it. WRONG! According to Mike Matei, GameTrailers did the contest without their consent and James didn’t even see the HVGN videos until after it ended. James had no hand in choosing the contests winners. They likely chose HVGN over you because his videos were better. Sure you had “flashy effects”, but his info was better, and he didn’t get things wrong.
Also, prove that he rigged it. Show us evidence. We live in a world where “pics or it didn’t happen” is becoming less of a joke.

“So he snuffed me” Just keep believing that Bores, I’m sure it will open so many doors.

8:36 - 11:05: After all that, he made more videos (Mario 2, MUSCLE) and… hold on. *looks at dates* According to Derek’s old site, he posted the MetalStorm video on August 29th. The Mario 2 and MUSCLE videos were posted before that. Man, I really wish I could find more info about this contest… like the dates and all that. http://lophatjello.com/history/

UPDATE (10/7/2014): Mike managed to find out the OutNerd the Nerd contest began in August 2007. The first IG video to come out that month was... Super Mario Bros. 2
That means he still made his Back to the Future, Where's Waldo, Goonies II, Mission Impossbile, Ghosts n Goblins, Jaws, and Temple of Doom reviews, with the full intention of being "serious", not being part of a contest, and full of material taken from other sources. Chris, the number of holes in your story keeps growing.

Anywho, his Mario 2 video got featured which meant front page coverage, side-bar coverage, etc. 
But then he brings up the “pecking order” of reviewers at the time. How James was at the top, then Armake21 was after that, and the huge gap between them. Then he just keeps listing old reviewers like “Fat Man Cometh” (UrinatingTree), jedite1, SlyDogStudios, AkewsticRockr, he even mentions Spoony (who still does videos). Jeez, no wonder Bores believes there’s “not many of us left”, if these are the reviewers he asked to be in his stupid cheering scene. Learn about new ones!

“Anyway, I ended up getting featured” What was the point of the pecking order shit?! I swear, this video would be 20 minutes long if it wasn’t for the padding!

11:05 - 15:30: It all happened overnight, his inbox was full, the views skyrocketed, his sub count shot up to 11k, making him the “second most popular reviewer on YouTube”. Something he couldn’t sustain for a number of reasons.
Other reviewers watched his stuff, wondered who he was, where he came from… seriously it’s taking so long to get to the point.

The other reviewers were accusing of him lifting material, and he says “Of course I was, I only had 200 subscribers”. That’s not a fucking excuse! Also, if you didn’t want heat, you should have marked your videos as part of a contest. But you didn’t.
He also adds “I wasn’t taking this seriously”. Bullcrap, if you weren’t taking it seriously then you wouldn’t put so many pointless effects in. You wouldn’t have said in your Temple of Doom review that you put your “blood, sweat, and tears” into the “angel & devil” effect. If you weren’t taking it seriously, you would have said so a LOOOONG time ago.

At one point, he mentions “doing it for my friends“ again. I really have a hard time believing that considering he made a DVD 7 months into his “career”. Who does that?

He goes on and on about the hate he got, how the other reviewers made videos trashing him, and their followers were trashing him. There’s quite a few reasons for that Chris. You were trashing good games, acted like Mario 2 being a reskinned game was a big secret, clearly didn’t know what you were talking about, and of course that whole lifting material from others. But really, that last one isn’t the point of my blog, contrary to what some believe.

Anyway, he was public enemy #1, he was the villain, people wanted his blood, blah blah blah.
He asked himself what he should do, then brings up that he took psychology in college (the same one you dropped out of?) and felt the best course of action was to say “nothing”. Yeaaaah nooooo, that was probably the worst course of action Chris. Had you addressed the hate, that is, the people that called you a rip-off, then maybe things would have been better. Made a pledge to be more original. But you never did that, and that’s why the hate persisted.

15:31 - 18:00: Despite the hate, he decided to continue making videos and tells us we would do the same, and we would be lying if we didn’t. Or again, you could have addressed the issues people had. Sure there was hate (Silent Rob), but I’m sure people had legit criticism for you.
The MUSCLE review came out, it also got featured, people got pissed and started spreading “rumors” and “lies” (sure…) and that Bores was making sock-puppet accounts. He denies this saying he never had the time to make all these accounts. Well, you made some, like iratefanboy345, and a lot of old (likely dead) accounts that 5-starred only your videos, I’ve seen you comment with your Y2B2006 account. I’m not saying that all your subs were sock puppets, but you still partook in that.

He also brings up his mom. Chris, we know that’s you! The evidence is everywhere! “She” writes like you do, “she” disappears when you go to E3 or some other event, and of course you have the same IP address. Unless you live with her (which you deny) or she takes control of your account (which would just be sad), then it’s pretty obvious that it’s you posing as your mom. By the way, the damage “she” did to your reputation was staggering. Don’t pretend “she” helped.
Bores also brings up Eric Allen, which I can understand. Back then he was a venomous IG fan boy that went around arguing for him. He’s calmed down now and has been willing to talk to IG’s critics.

EDIT: Credit to lasersquad for exposing IG and LadyBuggin having the same IP address. My apologies for not doing this earlier. 

18:01 - 21:30: At this point, only one person’s opinion of him mattered, and that was James Rolfe. Oh dear, we’re at this point.
Bores sent an e-mail to James, apologizing for “copying”, saying he didn’t mean to (that’s not what you said earlier), and some other stuff. He then claims that James replied, saying that he had “demands”. … This is new.
Apparently the “demand” was that Bores acknowledge James was his inspiration. That’s easy, why did Bores have a problem with this? He makes it sound like he wanted him to lick his boots, but this is simple. Also, do you have proof of this? Like the e-mail in question? Cause you’re making a lot of accusations without backing them up.
According to Mike, James never gave any demands. Again Chris, proof or get out.

Then, Bores brings up that his e-mail was posted online, because “he didn’t write back”.
That. Is. Wrong. Here’s what really happened (thanks to Mike Matei for informing me).
Bores wrote the e-mail to James, that much is true. The e-mail said “I will stop copying you”, and they left it at that. A week or so after, Bores posted his TMNT video, which was full of material lifted from the AVGN’s video. James learned about this, and forwarded the e-mail to Mike. Angered, he posted the e-mail online, showing that Bores LIED to them. People don’t like being lied to, that’s why the e-mail was posted.

What Bores is doing is trying to play the victim, something narcissists do when they have no real argument.

He’s also blaming James for this. I thought he knew it was Mike that posted the letter. I recall a fan boy that messaged him about it, and he said “that asshole Mike posted my e-mail”. It’s like this video is going out of its way to discredit James as much as possible.

And then he goes on about how he lost respect and wouldn't watch his videos or talk about him. Again, you copied him when you told him you wouldn’t. This was all your fault. Don’t deflect the blame.

He continues whining about how people still hated him, and that people accused him of doing it for the money. He quickly pauses to mention he “hasn’t heard that since James did the Kickstarter”. Really now? Let me change that. YOU STILL DO IT FOR THE MONEY! You’re constantly whining about views, that you won’t do retro games anymore because views are low, and that you only do Skylanders because they give you views. That’s something people doing it for the money would say! Not to mention your low quality DVDs. You left POWER RANGERS FOOTAGE on your last one because you wanted a quick buck. How many episodes does the History of Video Games DVD have? 5? Fuck off with that, you’re clearly in it for the cash!

More whining… he brings up that he’s a religious person. I’m pretty sure all religions tell you that lying is a sin. In fact you don’t need to be religious to know lying is awful. Did you bring that up in an attempt to garner sympathy?

21:31 - 25:25: He claims he understands the hate, that people might have seen him as a threat or something. I’m so bored.
He then mentions his next review was Tetris. Wait, you’re skipping some. You forgot to mention TMNT (gee, I wonder why), Yo! Noid, and Zombies Ate My Neighbors. No drama for these? Nothing on how you criticized an excellent game like ZAMN because “wah it’s too hard”? People really should have noticed back then that you didn’t know a damn thing about games.
Anyway, the Tetris review got a ton of views (probably because of it’s click-bait title, using the word “scandal”), and at one point Bores was the 55th most subscriber user on the site. I love that he still holds on to that one accomplishment to this day. He doesn’t seem to get that people don’t care now. “You were 55th at one point? What are you now? 7135?! Forget you, I’m going to find someone that actually matters now.”

More about hate, plugging Archfiend’s video again, he brings up the time James was asked about IG and he said “he doesn’t acknowledge me, I’m not going to acknowledge him” and cries about how he was such a dick. AGAIN! Mike (not James) posted the letter because YOU LIED!
He keeps blaming James for the letter, and asks “What do you want me to do, keep kissing his butt?” No, we wanted you to be honest, and acknowledge him you dumbass. I swear…

Then out of nowhere, he brings up PewDiePie. What? Yeah, apparently he questions why people didn’t accuse James of being a PewDiePie rip-off when he started doing Let’s Play videos. Oh wow this argument is beyond flimsy. First of all, PewDiePie’s first LP was posted December 2010 (some Minecraft thing). As Mike pointed out to me, this video of the two of them playing the Magnavox Odyssey (http://cinemassacre.com/2009/04/27/playing-odyssey/) was posted April 2009. Second, PewDiePie is soooooo not the first Let’s Player. A lot of people predate him. Slowbeef, ProtonJon, chuggaaconroy, ChipCheezum, and sooo many others. You probably only know PewDiePie because he’s popular and you never leave your bubble, thus you never learned that Let’s Plays have been a thing for years. Third, people don’t give them shit for doing Let’s Plays because they have their own “style” of LP. They just casually play the game, and talk about it, or about other stuff. It’s all about how entertaining the commentary is. Whether you like it or not that’s up to you.

Chris, realize that what you did back then was steal without claiming to be parody. You’re claiming parody these days, but only after years of being called a thief. This is not the same thing.

25:26 - 27:32: He then claims that he started noticing “issues” with James, “chinks in his armor”. I thought you said you didn’t watch him? You’re changing your story in the same video. Hello?
He claims that his “haters” began to “see the light”. Oh fuck off with that.
He claims they noticed “things weren’t adding up” and they saw the side of him that Bores saw years ago. … You’re talking about Mike right? Because James didn’t do anything… besides the one comment about acknowledgement. I know people have issues with Mike, is that who you’re talking about?

He then starts talking about his Mario Bros 2 review. He claims James watched it (prove it…), and then “shortly after”, James released his Mario Bros 3 review. If by shortly you mean eight months…
He claims there are “similarities”. … No. What are you talking about?
His accusation is that both are set-up like “half-documentary/half review” and both have a satanic theme. That is a bigger stretch than Dhalsim and Monkey D. Luffy at a stretchy-guys convention. First off, “half-documentary/half-review”. The Nerd’s review really wasn’t like a documentary, he was just talking about how The Wizard was an important part of any Nintendo kid’s childhood, and how it introduced the world to Super Mario Bros. 3. Your idea of a documentary was “SCANDAL! MARIO 2 ISN’T MARIO 2! LOOK AT THIS SHOCKING EVIDENCE!” even though by 2007, most people half-versed in gaming history know this! Second, the satanic theme? Well, the Nerd review said that Super Mario Bros 3 was so good it’s a sin, and jokingly pointed out Satanic images and symbolism (often going to crazy lengths like 8/5/12/12 = Hell ). All this leading to a fight with the Devil at the end. Your so-called “Satanic theme”, was putting the Devil at the end because you killed your evil twin, and thus he went to Hell. Only a tinfoil hat wearing, Alex Jones listening DUMBASS would say these two videos are similar. Other than they both involve Mario. You’re trying way too fucking hard to discredit him.

Actually, it’s not the first time he said this. He believed this way back in 2010: http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2010/08/bores-hits-new-low-attempts-to-own.html Good lord, this makes even less sense now.

He claims that if he did his Mario 2 review afterwards, he would have been ‘drug through the mud”. You sure? Cause I think people would bash you because your video was full of inaccurate info, like saying Toad was useless. Again, the Mario 2 video had waaay more problems than any possible plagiarism (“perfect predecessor to the first Mario”)

He brings up that he used to announce games he would review. Saying he announced Silver Surfer, and James reviewed it a month later. Wait what? That’s not how it happened. You announced Silver Surfer and Superman reviews in 2008 (Third Rate Gamer mocked this in his Battletoads video from 2008). The Nerd’s Silver Surfer review was released in 2007! Sure, it was posted to YouTube in 2008, but you’re ignoring that he used to be exclusive to GameTrailers and that videos would be there for a  year before going on YouTube.
In fact, I checked the Wayback Machine. Here’s what I found from October 2008: http://web.archive.org/web/20081007023041/http://www.theirategamer.com/reviews.htm “Awaiting the Chopping Block: Silver Surfer/Superman” In fact, I recall that people gave you shit for this because the Nerd already covered these games. So you’re distorting history saying that James reviewed it after you announced this?
Oh and he mentions Superman (and Superman 64). He did that back in July 2008, before you announced it! Distorting history again. Also, you never said Superman 64.

He claims that he had to stop posting what his next reviews were because “James would beat him to the punch” That is such a fucking lie. You stopped because people were giving you crap for doing something James already did! He didn’t purposely sabotage you, you were just late.

27:32 - 30:20: He now decides to address the “R.O.B. the robot controversy”
The controversy in question involve the ending of the Nerd’s NES Accessories review, where he said he’ll eventually review R.O.B. (took three years, but he did get to it), and then “a couple days later” (it was actually a couple weeks, I checked the dates), Bores released his review of R.O.B. He still says he wasn’t watching him at this point.
“How can I put a review like this together in 3 or 4 days” Again, it was two weeks, and two weeks is possible.
“It took me a good month to put this together” Wait a month? In your trailer, you said TWO months. Either you were lying back then, you’re lying now, or you really don’t know how time works.
Or it was two months, as his second bit of evidence is that he put a clip of him choking R.O.B. in the intro of one his previous reviews. Who the hell was supposed to pay attention to that? For all we know, that was just a “fun bit”. Like that clip of you next to Doc Louis from Punch-Out, that was never in an episode. Or the clip where you parody James Bond, that was never in an episode. Or the clip of the Nerd putting a Neo-Geo cartridge on a scale, that was never in an episode. If this was your evidence at a trial, you’d be laughed out of the courtroom by the judge and jury.

To humor him, I checked the previous videos. It was in the Q*bert review, but it went by so quickly that I’m not surprised nobody noticed.

He goes on about how people didn’t care, they hated just to hate, and people still do that  today. Hi Chris! And no, I don’t hate just to hate, I provide evidence. I’ve even been nice, I praised you for making a separate channel for your Skylanders habit. But then you snuffed that out by abandoning the channel in less than a month! Maybe you should look into yourself Chris.

“Let’s just discredit him anyway we can was the mindset back then whether it was true or not” Oh the irony. You just tried to discredit James multiple times without offering proof. And you’re calling your “haters” out for doing the same?

He then brings up the Odyssey. Uh oh…
He mentions how he foreshadowed it at the end, and then claims that “James got to it before I did”. … You’re distorting history again.
The Nerd’s Odyssey review came out April 21st 2009. You released the trailer for History of Video Games May 5th 2009. Once again, two weeks. I even remember in the comments, someone said to you that the Nerd just reviewed the Odyssey (and I understand why they brought that up, first console, history of video games), and you responded with “Did he? I didn’t know, I don’t watch him”. You released part 1 where you foreshadowed the Odyssey on May 8th. You didn’t “review” the Odyssey until October 2nd 2009.
The way he’s phrasing all this, he makes it sound like he released part 1, foreshadowed the Odyssey, and then James released his video afterwards. Again, that’s not how it happened. Anyone can check the timestamps.

For some reason, he claims this isn’t what James normally reviews. Uh, actually it was perfectly in line with what he talks about. He doesn’t just talk about Nintendo and Atari games, he looks at obscure consoles too. Sega CD, Sega 32x, Intellivision and Colecovision, Phillips CD-I, it was completely in line with what he does. You just didn’t know because as you claimed, you don’t watch him.

30:21 - 34:30: Nine more minutes….
He suddenly brings up Asalieri and TheArchfiend claiming they too found something wrong. … You know, I saw reactions to this video on /v/, and people that made it to this point immediately discredited it just because he plugged Asa. That is how toxic his name is.
Also, I’m surprised you’re so forgiving of TheArchfiend Bores. After all, he sabotaged your radio interview. You remember, with the Uncensored Net Noise, they called you a hack, compared you to Gallagher and Carrot Top, all because TheArchfiend told them about you? In fact, he did more sabotage to you than James had ever done. And yet you’ll forgive him? Is this really the company you want to be associated with?

Of course, he mentions those because it’s onto the “Kickstarter is the devil” portion! For the record, he used IndieGoGo, it’s a different site overall.
“Making all this money, why did he need a Kickstarter for a movie” As I sarcastically mentioned above, movies are expensive. They require all kinds of people to work on them, and people usually like to get paid for their work. Not to mention sets, locations, equipment, again movie-making is not cheap. Remind me, how much did you spend on Pursuit of the Paranormal? Didn’t you say you emptied your bank account trying to get it on TV?
“I don’t fault him for using Kickstarter” If you don’t fault him, why did you make the “spoof” video? Okay, that was two years ago, maybe he finally realized crowd-funding has benefits.
And apparently that’s kind of true now, as he mentions the Reading Rainbow Kickstarter and believes “education comes first” or something. So you only care for Kickstarter if it’s for educational purposes? Then why did you write up two articles about Mighty No. 9 on your site? That’s not an educational game.

Oh my god he mentions the Cheetaman II Kickstarter. James got nothing from that! Neither did Pat the NES Punk or the Game Chasers! They did the video because they were asked to! But people prefer to ignore that because rabble rabble rabble…

Apparently to Bores, he thought James was bragging. … How? I didn’t see that at all.
And that “bragging” was the whole point of his “e-begging spoof” as that’s “exactly what he did”. Do YOU feel that way, or are you just aping what TheArchfiend told you? Because I recall him crying about James “bragging”.
“I don’t hate the guy” … But… *sighs* Moving on.
And he just keeps going on about how people were “second-guessing” or “seeing the light” or whatever.
He claims people were asking if “this really happened”. Can you prove this?! Because unless you prove all this, it sounds like another made up story. Show us the e-mails!
Blah blah blah blah, YouTube has changed, angry reviewing isn’t a thing anymore, people would rather watch “celebrities”. What celebrities? Do you mean PewDiePie? Do you not notice how HUGE gaming is on YouTube now? You could have evolved with the times like James did, but you refused to, you stayed in the same rut, and your new content of “talking about Skylanders” isn’t winning new viewers.

He mentions Asa and Archfiend, and he’s glad they “mellowed out”. Asa, mellowed out? If stalking is your idea of mellow, then I don’t want to know what you think “angry” is.

“If you still think I’m a douche, it is what it is. If you still want to hate me, go for it.” Okay. … As long as you keep making videos.

And so into the last five minutes:
He claims he’s “content” with what he does now, bringing up Skylanders (ugggh) and ghost stuff that will be posted in October (the perfect alternative to Ambien), and that he “does the channel for himself”. So you don’t care about your fans? Called it!

He mentions History of Video Games, saying it’s been shot but he needs to edit it. Why are you still trying that?
As well as I Rate the 80s.
He says his problem is the lack of time, and how YouTube has changed. … Maybe you should take some time to research the current trends. Start doing Let’s Plays. “But my job” You teach people how to hunt for something that’s not real! Playing video games for the internet is a better use of time than that!
More crying about how he doesn’t get views these days. Again, you claim you’re not doing it for the money?
He also brings up how he works with the community and does charity. Why bring this up? More sympathy?

He keeps going and going about how he learned so much, how he went to E3, formed relationships with Activison, Sega and Nintendo (only one of these matters considering they seem to be sending him free garbage), learned to do interviews (they’re still terrible)…
“I don’t hate James, I never hated James” But but but… but…. You just.. Nearly 40 minutes… ugggggh  the video is just about over.
He once again goes over his point, that James “screwed him over”, deflecting the blame away from him.

“There’s stuff I can’t remember right now where people are all *weird sounds*” Let’s see, all your research errors, your poorly-written reviews, the fact that your modern “reviews” are only from an hour of playing, the stolen footage on your DVDs, that god-awful abortion of a story arc, oh and what you said about Justin Carmical. I’ll get to that in a bit.

“I apologize if I offended anyone, but it’s YouTube. It’s not the movies or TV, it’s YouTube. Get over it”. You can’t say that in 2014, when internet entertainment is starting to take over. Netflix originals, YouTube talent is starting to get noticed more often, this isn’t 2008 anymore. If you do something terrible, people will still call you out, no matter what medium. TV does get misinterpreted too (complaints about the last two episodes of Doctor Who being racist and pro-life…)

Blah blah blah he thanks the fans, they watched him “grow up” and he wants nothing more than to entertain. No, it’s still clear you only want money. If you wanted to entertain, you would still be doing retro reviews. The thing that fans keep asking for you and you keep ignoring.


Ugggggggh. Where do I begin?
First off, WHERE IS THE PROOF? A lot of what he said was just his own word, he didn’t provide any evidence. Well, some things he did. He happened to have the image of him as the 55th most subscribed user on YouTube, and his Tetris review having lots of views. But James’ so called demands, the contest being rigged, he provides no evidence of this and just expects us to swallow it.
And the whole time he tries to act like he’s the hero, like how people “saw the light” and began to question everything and oh my god it was so bad.

I find it strange that he cries about the “OutNerd the Nerd” contest being rigged, but his contests were no better. I mean, one kid won twice, because he was a major IG fan boy and was nice to his “mother”. And when Guru Larry confronted Bores about it, he gave a very rude reply. Nice guy huh?

Of course, he brings up crowd-funding. Does he not know the movie is real? Does he still think James took the money and ran? Because the movie is out there, on Vimeo, with a Blu-Ray/DVD release sometime soon. Why didn’t he bring this up? Oh right, because it would show he was wrong about everything.

And for a video about his career, one site was strangely absent. GotGame. Why no mentions of them? They gave you a ton of free shit. All those modern consoles and games, they handed to you on a silver platter. And you say nothing about them. Does GotGame mean anything to you now? Or are they just your golden ticket to E3 and more Skylanders coverage? If someone at GotGame ever reads this, drop him. He’s doing nothing for your site now. Why did you even pay for his blog? He never talks about video games.

By the way Chris, are you ever going to apologize for what you said about Justin “JewWario” Carmical? Or do you not understand that what you said was offensive?

Now, people are speculating that this is Chris’ final video, and I can understand why. Everything about it screams “I’m done with YouTube, peace out mofos”. Well, we’ll just have to wait and see. Eventually he might post something new that’s not fucking Skylanders. Maybe I’ll mock one of his new ghost videos, if it isn’t the most boring thing ever.

And that, my friends, is that. I’m going to go lie down now.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Bores "Opens Up" After Eight Years

*sighs* I'm not sure how to start this post. This really came out of nowhere.

On October 2nd, 2014 (for posterity's sake), Chris Bores posted a 39 minute video detailing his "career" on YouTube. In reality, it's a whiny petty rant on how James Rolfe is the worst person ever, and how all the "other guys" are jealous of him and losers, and how he believes James was out to sabotage him.

It's a long video, and detailing it all would take too much time and energy that I no longer have.

In fact, it proves everything I've been saying is true. Bores paints himself as a petty douchebag that despite his claim of having grown up, he clearly won't let go of certain things.
He even admits at the end that he only makes videos for himself now. Basically giving a giant middle finger to his remaining fans.

Honestly... what's left for me to say?

EDIT: After taking some time to breathe, relax, and hearing quite a few requests, I will do a post about the video. Eventually. It's a big video, and it's wall-to-wall bullshit. It's not going to get done in a couple hours.