Friday, May 1, 2015

Settle It In Smash! Just Don't Invite Chris Bores, He Will Ramble.

As I figured, Friday is a “big” video. A review of Super Smash Bros for Wii U. I guess Bores realized that waiting for all 52+ amiibo was a dumb idea when they all do the same fucking thing.
And hey, only 5-6 months since the game came out. Brilliant.
Also, don’t try to think you’ll get the same amount of views as your Brawl review. You won’t even get close.

0:00 - 0:51: Forgoing the “IG Neo” intro and going right into the “review”.
Like Mario Party 10, he is directly recording his TV with his camera. People thought it was because of  YouTube Content ID  (because people are crazy), but Bores revealed in the comments of the MP10 review that “capturing is too hard”. Translation: he’s lazy!
Claims he’s been playing Smash since the Gamecube (suuuure) and that each one gets better and better (I’d say Brawl is debatable) and adding more characters. Then says they “recently added a new character” and shows Mewtwo. I wouldn’t really call him new since he was in Melee. I would have said “they brought him back as DLC”.

He basically describes what’s on the menus, doesn’t really go into detail of what each mode is. He shows Event Mode and… hahahahaha, all the ones he actually beat show that he beat them on Easy (a blue dot instead of yellow or red) with none of the special challenges done (a golden flag would be next to it). Oh man.

0:52 - 1:51: Instead of actually going into detail about all the different modes, he just goes to the normal Smash mode. He says he’s happy to see Mega Man and Pac-Man “for old school fans” (more like Namco worked on the game and they let him in). He once again claims his favorite character is Mr. Game & Watch, likely because “me old school and me retro”, says he’s happy to see Duck Hunt, then… repeats that Mega Man and Pac-Man are in the game. You didn’t script this did you? I mean, it’s pretty obvious at points but that’s particularly bad.

He mentions the Miis, mentions Wii Fit Trainer and for some reason Greninja (I just find it odd that he’s one of the newcomers he points out). Surprised he didn’t mention Little Mac since the last several videos were about Punch-Out. Then a cut and… he mentions the Miis again. So not only is it obvious that it’s poorly scripted, but this is some immensely shoddy editing. This is someone that used to edit wedding videos for a living!
I noticed that before the cut, he was controlling  the game with the sideways Wii Remote, but after he’s using the Wii U GamePad. Why would he ever control it with the Wii Remote anyway? It sucks for Smash. I’d get not having the Gamecube Adapter since it’s stupidly rare… then again Bores didn’t know Brawl could be played with Gamecube controllers so I doubt he knows about the Adapter.
He decides to play as his Mii, and it is still a terrifying Mii. He also decides to fight amiibo opponents instead of the AI ones. Probably because he can’t fight above Level 2.
He mentions the different stages.

1:51 - 2:56: “Each character has their own special move and attack” … No shit.
Mentions Final Smashes… “callbacks” by which he means Assist Trophies (how do you get all this WRONG?)… Pokemon… claims his favorite characters to play as are Pac-Man, Mr. Game & Watch, and Duck Hunt. Of course he claims the old as fuck characters are the best, he doesn’t know better. He doesn’t know the majesty of Diddy. Unless he was nerfed recently, Ninty doesn’t provide patch notes.
Then he… mentions the different stages… again. You had no material did you?
Oh but this time he mentions there’s UNLOCKABLE stages. Oooooo. He says Flat Zone X is his favorite. Stop trying to convince people that Game & Watch is your favorite. I doubt you ever played any Game & Watch games, whether the original watches or the Galleries on Game Boy/GBA/DS

2:56 - 3:57: He says the most fun is when you have a group. A fighting game is fun with friends? Ya don’t god damn say!
I love that when he says this, all the footage shows him fighting computer players or amiibo. Couldn’t even be assed to find real people to play with. Reminds me of his Brawl review when the same thing happened.
He sounds so bored through the whole video.
He mentions references AGAIN. I’m running out of things to say, he’s just repeating the same shit over and over again.
Like he says it’s better with other people. This is why scripting is important!
He claims Wii U is about “family experiences” again. Oh fuck off.
And he loses… That says so much doesn’t it?

Rest of the video… I don’t care to time it…:
“Alright I think I showed you all the cool aspects of the game” NO YOU DIDN’T! You didn’t show Classic Mode, All Star Mode, the Stadium games, Smash Tour, the Challenge Board, the Omega stages that make anything Final Destination, Trophy Rush, ONLINE! All you did was stammer about the same few things over and over again!

He says his only downside is that some characters aren’t back. He mentions bringing back Mewtwo and Lucas, but he wants to see Ice Climbers. That’s not going to happen, it’s been confirmed countless times it won’t happen. You can thank the 3DS version for that as it couldn’t handle four (rather eight) Ice Climbers during gameplay. Sure the Wii U version can handle it but they prefer to have parity between the two games, and I doubt they’ll give the Wii U version special treatment when the 3DS version outsold it (thanks Japan and its hatred of consoles)
He also wants to see Snake back *looks at Kojima’s status at Konami and Konami itself* That’s not going to happen either.

He brings up the Smash Bros Ballot, and puts a URL on screen. Not the actual ballot URL (right here: https://cp.nintendo.co.jp/us/) but to his stupid “amiibo Informer” site. Gotta get that clickbait!
He references his Brawl review and still says he wants to see Bomberman and Simon Belmont. You really don’t pay attention to the news do you? Anything owned by Konami is pretty much dead at this point (and that includes Bomberman as they bought and murdered Hudson Soft). I know he posted that joke image of Konami’s 2015 Strategy and Plan on his Facebook (seen here) but I don’t think he understood the humor behind it, he just saw f-bombs and thought “hur hur funneh”
“Because we grew up with these characters on the NES” You do realize you’re not the only age group playing Smash right? Lots of people play it, of all ages. What’s (supposedly) nostalgic for you is ancient history to a younger generation. Considering the really young generation is your audience, I don’t see them clamoring for those characters.

Blah blah this fighting game is above others blah blah blah blah…
He links his amiibo site again (CLIIIIICKBAAAAAAAIT) and mentions the rumor of “one of the characters from Street Fighter” … SERIOUSLY? You can’t even remember the name of the series’ mascot? Ryu! It’s fucking Ryu! Though until there’s actual confirmation, he’s just a rumor, along with Roy.
And that’s the end.

That was somehow worse than his Brawl review, and that was already pretty fucking bad. At least in the Brawl video he attempted a review. This was just unscripted rambling with abysmal editing. Script yourself Bores! It has been established for YEARS that you can’t go unscripted. Improvisation is one of your weaknesses!

And what did this video even add? Nothing. It told us nothing about a game that’s nearly six months old now. There’s no reason for this video to even exist… well outside of his terrible click-begging but there’s no legitimate reason for this video to exist.
There’s so much he missed. At no point does he mention the 3DS version (considering he somehow doesn’t know Mario Kart 7 is a thing, this shouldn’t surprise me), along with all the other stuff I mentioned above.
Shadow19 mentioned that he didn’t bring up Master Core. Ha, that would imply he would even attempt 5.5 difficulty.
He also mentioned a comment from Bores that he bought Mewtwo because he’s “a completionist”. … You are not even close to being a completionist. I get what he meant to say, he just wanted him because “he wanted all the characters”, but the word choice was absolutely wrong.

*sighs* Welp, see you next week for whatever stupid stuff he has.
Oh, and…
#WonderRed4Smash

85 comments:

  1. I think that the Japanese games sale on the Playstation Store having so many MGS games is very appropriate during this time. Also, there's no way Bores's mind is advanced enough to understand even one Metal Gear Solid game.

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  2. I'm just going to say this right now, I don't really like Street Fighter all that much or see why so many people like it so much. Please don't hurt me.

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    Replies
    1. Well, it does have a pretty steep learning curve, like many traditional fighting games. Not everyone has the patience to get used to its controls, and I suck at it myself.

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    2. Third Strike is my favorite iteration, but you really have to practice in order to get good at it.

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    3. This is honestly why Smash Bros. is the best fighting game for everyone. Not only is it easy to perform all moves so that anyone can beat anyone, but there are also advanced techniques that do make it competitive.

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    4. Also, I think Tekken does the whole world fighting tournament thing better.

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    5. The only thing, to me anyway, that Street Fighter has that no other fighting game does is that it was first. First does not always mean best.

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    6. Not the biggest fan, but I like it fine. Personally, my favorite Capcom fighter would be Power Stone (too bad there was no third entry ) or the VS series (Marvel, Tatsunoko, et al).

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    7. Well, many like me grew up playing Street Fighter and the move list for each fighter doesn't really change all that much in the sequels. I think it's just me but I've always found it easy to pick up and play

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    8. That's one thing I always thought Street Fighter did so much better than Mortal Kombat: keeping the move lists consistent. This is coming from someone who only picked up Street Fighter a few years ago and grew up playing Mortal Kombat.

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  3. As I expected, a boring Brawl times 2356. I'll have to think about the fighter ballot. Also, shame about Konami, since being delisted from the NYSE doesn't bode well with Kojima leaving . My amiibo plan is still the same when I get my Wii U. Until then, back to geeking out about Ultron, which was spectacular .

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  4. Bores wrote:

    "not sure if anyone saw but my sub count is 152,152 haha, pretty cool"

    Now that's pathetic.

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    Replies
    1. I'm surprised he even gained subs at all.

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  5. Oy, Santa Maria, was Bores awful. And I shouldn't be surprised he'd wait 5 1/2 months after SSB Wii U came out for the NEO review of it. Still amazes me he'd forget the 3DS version. And I wonder what the comments are on that video right now? Bet there were some angry ones that Bores deleted due to grade-A butthurt.

    OT: I was looking through the comments of No-Date Gamers' video about this blog, including my initial comment:

    "To all the idiots who think Irate Gamer Sucks is a "hate blog":

    Do you not know what the difference between hate and criticism is? Obviously, you do not. BatDan addresses Bores' other problems besides just being a ripoff of the Nerd... like how poorly-researched his facts are, how he treated someone like crap for committing suicide, etc."

    And some of the comments I got show just how desperate people are in trying to defend Bores, like this one from steveman27-- not sure how truthful that is:

    "i exchanged emails with irategamer about this where i told him about that page and what he said there and how i thought it wasn't right for him to say that, and he replied saying how what i was implying what he was trying to say, was not what he meant, and he might've been telling me the truth. i thought he was saying how there was a hell, and he believed that that suicide victim was going there, so i was offended by that, but irategamer told me that wasn't what he meant. he said that he believes in an afterlife, and that where ever he is, even if he hangs out on earth or where ever, he will see the people who were weeping and mourning for him, and know that it's too late for him to be alive again, and i told him how god would be adding insult to injury if he sent suicide victims to be tortured in an afterlife, especially if they were going through awful pain caused by others and that those individuals that caused them that pain caused them to do it in the first place, or if they had to choose between being tortured to death or ending it immediately. so hopefully me and him cleared that up. i personally don't believe or hope for anyone to go to some place of fire and torment for eternity after death, and i would hope irategamer doesn't believe or hope for anyone to have that happen to them either. i've always generally been ok with irategamer and never really had a problem with him or any of his video game reviews even if he did some reviews similar to avgn's reviews, and that's still the case, but what he said there in that paragraph last year about that suicide victim offended me when i first saw it so i had to write to him about it to clear things up."

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    1. If he didn't publicly apologize for it, then he really meant to say that Justin was going to Hell, and he is a spineless coward if he was expecting that guy to try and clear his name with such lies.

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    2. Also, Bores's defense is total bullshit. If he actually, truly meant to say this, he would have said that he feels sorry for Justin's friends and family and that he sends them his condolences. Find the guy who said this and tell him this.

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  6. Bores is NOT a Completionist. He dares to compare himself to Jirraco the Laser Clown?

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  7. Speaking of the Smash Bros. Ballet, does anybody feel like sharing any character options they would love to see as newcomers?
    Me personally, I would love to see characters like:
    * "Bandana" Waddle Dee (a really popular choice within the Kirby fandom on Tumblr)
    * Dixie Kong
    * Crystal from Star Fox Adventures
    * Midna (imp form), despite already being an Assist Trophy.

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    Replies
    1. My two choices were Dixie and Geno, I ended up voting for Dixie because she was always my favorite character from the Donkey Kong series.
      Though speaking of Geno I wish Nintendo would give more love to all the characters from Super Mario RPG.
      Minda is a good choice I don't know why I didn't think of her

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    2. Krystal from Starfox.
      Weavel from Metroid Prime Hunters
      Sceptile from Pokémon

      I would've voted for Samurai Goroh, but he's still an assist trophy.

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    3. Could Fawful be a possibility?

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    4. I already voted for Isaac from Golden Sun

      To be honest I would also love to see Simon Belmont and Bomberman but I know they aren't happening.

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    5. After playing Super Smash Flash 2 (great flash game) I would love to see Bomberman in there.

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    6. Sorry, but neither of them will be happening due to the same reason as Snake.

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    7. I voted for Marshal from Rhythm Heaven, but after seeing the #unitesmash thing the Super Best Friends Zaibatsu had going on, I wish I had voted for Wonder Red instead. But Tetra and Captain Syrup would also be nice...

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  8. I'm far from being an expert on the subject, but just a hunch based on what I read, do you think we're in the midst of another video game crash?

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    1. Reason why I ask this is because we're starting to see the greats go under. Squaresoft, Capcom, and now Konami. Hopefully the same won't happen to Nintendo with its 126 year history.

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    2. Personally I don't see Square going under yet, but truth be told I have't heard much negative things from them other than crappy smartphone games and people complaining about newer games, As for Capcom and Konami I hope neither goes out of business because it's always a shame when a game companies go under, though I hate it more when people either jokes about it or make light it. I for one have never done that and one of my favorite company is Rare, you know the guys who gave up after releasing Nuts&Bolts back in 2008(which I'll admit I liked but was very flawed).
      And no I don't think were in the midst of a video crash because of companies going under. I think there are other concerns worst then those which I am not smart enough to go in dept on.

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    3. Of course we're in a crash. Corporate bullshit is everywhere and spreading like a virus.

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    4. Konami's not going under.
      However, it's looking very likely that they will stop production on video games and focus more on pachinko and gambling (of course that depends on Japan's legalization bill passing or not).

      "Then someone should buy the rights to their games" I don't see that happening... Konami is going to milk the fuck out of their IPs by slapping them on pachinko machines. Like they recently did with Contra.

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    5. We really ARE in the dark age of gaming, aren't we?
      -_-

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    6. Ever since PS4 and Xbox One were brought into this world, yes.

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    7. Don't forget that Sega and Atari are also struggling.

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    8. Well at least Square Enix seems to be going back on the right track. Sure Final Fantasy XIII has a lot of haters and Final Fantasy XIV was a joke went it came out. But XIII-2 and Lightning Returns were marked improvements (even though the story is still a joke, at least the combat system is greatly improved) and XIV has thankfully been fixed with A Realm Reborn. It's latest releases Type-0 HD on PS4 and Xbox One consoles and their Final Fantasy VX demo received a good reception from critics and gamers.

      If people think a company like Square Enix is dead because it went through a rough patch, then Pixar and Ubisoft should also be dead by now.

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    9. @Batdan

      I wonder how their Bemani games are doing, since I think that's the only thing that's keeping Konami alive in the arcade scene at this time? It'll be funny to see a "Beatmania" or "Pop'n Music" slot machines and one of the bonus spins is to play a song on EX. I bet Bemani players used to EX would be rich from playing those. Unless you're referring to only the pachinko slots based on Konami titles.

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. YES!!! We need to enter the Garden of Madness once again!

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  10. Replies
    1. I feel like Square Enix would want a different rep to be in Smash, if they were to have one.

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  11. New Video!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIMS4OYiMeo

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    1. When are you going to do another ICBINAVGN video? If anything, you should definitely do one for IG's SNES Power Rangers review.

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    2. Never appreciated unless I do ICBINAVGN....

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    3. I for one like the Mario Retrospective Series. And the SMB Let's Play

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  12. I wonder if there is a game that Chris is actually good at. Not counting kiddie games.

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    1. Here's the list of games that Bores is actually good at:

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    2. Heck, he probably needs a GameShark to beat Elmo's Number Journey on the N64.

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    3. Or DragonTales: Dragon Seek for the PS1...

      Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if he needed the power of Game Genie to beat Barney's Hide and Seek for the Genesis! XD

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    4. I've heard that IG is good as this game called "Stolen Footage".

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    5. And "Are You Dumber than DarkSydePhil?" for the Nintendo Wii.

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    6. I don't think even Bores is that dumb

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. First-party GameCube adapters are nowhere near as hard to find as they used to be, mostly because GameStop is selling bundles of them with a controller included for $50.

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  15. Wonder if today's video is going to be Star Wars related....

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    Replies
    1. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Bores took advantage of another opportunity to try and convince others that he's part of another fandom.

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  16. Today's video is Skylanders.
    That makes things easy on me.

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    1. Gee, it's been so long I thought he'd actually given up on that.

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    2. "Buggin" is more active in the comments section than usual. It's probably because she knows that even Bores's fans hate the Skylanders shit and is ready to insult all of them.

      There are even a lot of comments pointing out that he called a female dragon character a male. Buggin replies that he couldn't tell because it didn't have any breasts. Where do I start with this?


      1) It's a quadruped dragon, why the fuck would it have breasts?

      2) It comes across as highly sexist to say that a female of any species needs to have breasts to be female.

      3) Why would he post this from his "mom's" account? If he did it to seem less sexist, he failed, because people can easily tell it's him.

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    3. HAHA, that's hilarious (the "it doesn't have breasts" comment).

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    4. "it doesn't have breasts" is another one of those things that just makes my brain sad. While were at it let's look at other female creatures who lack, how Pokemon Chanesy,Miltank,and Forlass are all female only Pokemon who lack breast. Or how about Digimon, actually let's not because there are far too many female Digimon who lack breast. I'm sure there's more people can think of but I wanted to use examples that weren't horror or more adult stuff. Also if only having breast makes you female than Chris would be very upset with Flea from Chrono Trigger or that guy(from Jupiter Jazz) in Cowboy Bebop whose name escapes me.

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    5. Skylander "Spotlight" LadyBuggin777-style

      http://postimg.org/image/9ydtgnl47/

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    6. which skylander dragon is the moron mistaken for a male, don't mind the name or element

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    7. My apologies for the pop-up on the image above :-/

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    8. Uatu That looks hot, I'm gonna save that for later *stuffs photo in pocket

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  17. Oh my God, he's still gushing over Simon Belmont? MOVE ON CHRIS! Simon is dead! Konami doesn't care the old Castlevania games anymore. They now only care about their god-awful reboot series starring Gabriel Belmont.

    And wow, that's pathetic. He doesn't even know the name of the main character of Street Fighter is Ryu? It's like his Marvel VS Capcom 3 videos all over again which he never mention any Capcom characters in his actual review except Arthur and Tron Bonne and mistaking Crimson Viper for Jean Grey/Phoenix.

    Oh and Bores uploaded a new Skylanders video. You know, I don't know why Activision is releasing another wave of figures now, especially since it's been seven months since the game was released and gamers have beaten the story mode a hundred times by now.

    And what are they going to do just one month later? Announced another installment at E3 and the process of releasing figures MONTHS after the game's initial release starts all over again. This franchise is really every parent's nightmare.

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    Replies
    1. If he does a Castlevania video...

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    2. "WHERE'S MY SIMON BELMONT?! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! THIS GAME IS A PIECE OF SHEE-AT!"

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    3. To be fair, it isn't so weird to want Simon Belmont in the game. Castlevania is a super iconic NES game. He is extremely unlikely though, so to really push for him is kind of silly.

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    4. But here's the thing: Castlevania spans hundreds of years. Simon only operated in the 1690s.

      Of course, seeing The sad state Konami is in at the moment, we may not see a new installment in the near future.

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  18. BTW, regarding Smash Brothers, I had a few ideas:

    #Bumper4SmashBros
    #Pipsy4SmashBros
    #Timber4SmashBros
    #Krunch4SmashBros
    #Drumstick4SmashBros
    (Yes, these guys need an appearance in a game besides Diddy Kong Racing.)

    #Bonk4SmashBros
    #TerryBogard4SmashBros
    #AlexKidd4SmashBros
    #Dana4SmashBros (from Solomon's Key and Fire 'N Ice)

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    Replies
    1. I would like
      #Isaac4SmashBros
      #RayMKIII4SmashBros
      #ChibiRobo4SmashBros
      #SquareEnixRep4SmashBros (anyone would do, really)

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  19. Mooooore Skylanders today!

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    Replies
    1. I'm guessing there won't be a post until Friday's video comes out, then.

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    2. What options did we have? It was either Skylanders or some BS video about green screens or some cheap gaming website or a link to a video from three years ago.

      Delete
  20. Not sure if everyone heard, but looks like Universal Theme Parks is going to feature some Nintendo-related attractions.

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    Replies
    1. I've heard about that. Right now they're working on concepts for them.

      I'm also excited for Skull Island coming to Islands of Adventure.

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  21. I think IG videos should be titled "How not to play", instead of Let's play.

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    Replies
    1. You mean like the "This is how you DON'T play" series that showcases DarkSydePhil's endless failure?
      There's also a "This is how you DON'T play Wind Waker HD Game Grumps Edition". There needs to be more of those since Arin is terrible at games

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  22. Rayman Legends

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfNPySPD6YQ

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    Replies
    1. Jesus Christ. It was so fucking lazy. It's official, Bores has no idea what the word "review" means.

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  23. No hyperbole here- that was one of the most terrible "reviews" I have ever seen. In this level, in this level, etc. I got more information out of the game's trailer!

    A couple of amusing bits- he pronounces "origins" as "oh-rigins". Also, "female girls". I am not convinced he has passed biology.

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