As I figured, Friday is a “big” video. A review of Super Smash Bros for Wii U. I guess Bores realized that waiting for all 52+ amiibo was a dumb idea when they all do the same fucking thing.
And hey, only 5-6 months since the game came out. Brilliant.
Also, don’t try to think you’ll get the same amount of views as your Brawl review. You won’t even get close.
0:00 - 0:51: Forgoing the “IG Neo” intro and going right into the “review”.
Like Mario Party 10, he is directly recording his TV with his camera. People thought it was because of YouTube Content ID (because people are crazy), but Bores revealed in the comments of the MP10 review that “capturing is too hard”. Translation: he’s lazy!
Claims he’s been playing Smash since the Gamecube (suuuure) and that each one gets better and better (I’d say Brawl is debatable) and adding more characters. Then says they “recently added a new character” and shows Mewtwo. I wouldn’t really call him new since he was in Melee. I would have said “they brought him back as DLC”.
He basically describes what’s on the menus, doesn’t really go into detail of what each mode is. He shows Event Mode and… hahahahaha, all the ones he actually beat show that he beat them on Easy (a blue dot instead of yellow or red) with none of the special challenges done (a golden flag would be next to it). Oh man.
0:52 - 1:51: Instead of actually going into detail about all the different modes, he just goes to the normal Smash mode. He says he’s happy to see Mega Man and Pac-Man “for old school fans” (more like Namco worked on the game and they let him in). He once again claims his favorite character is Mr. Game & Watch, likely because “me old school and me retro”, says he’s happy to see Duck Hunt, then… repeats that Mega Man and Pac-Man are in the game. You didn’t script this did you? I mean, it’s pretty obvious at points but that’s particularly bad.
He mentions the Miis, mentions Wii Fit Trainer and for some reason Greninja (I just find it odd that he’s one of the newcomers he points out). Surprised he didn’t mention Little Mac since the last several videos were about Punch-Out. Then a cut and… he mentions the Miis again. So not only is it obvious that it’s poorly scripted, but this is some immensely shoddy editing. This is someone that used to edit wedding videos for a living!
I noticed that before the cut, he was controlling the game with the sideways Wii Remote, but after he’s using the Wii U GamePad. Why would he ever control it with the Wii Remote anyway? It sucks for Smash. I’d get not having the Gamecube Adapter since it’s stupidly rare… then again Bores didn’t know Brawl could be played with Gamecube controllers so I doubt he knows about the Adapter.
He decides to play as his Mii, and it is still a terrifying Mii. He also decides to fight amiibo opponents instead of the AI ones. Probably because he can’t fight above Level 2.
He mentions the different stages.
1:51 - 2:56: “Each character has their own special move and attack” … No shit.
Mentions Final Smashes… “callbacks” by which he means Assist Trophies (how do you get all this WRONG?)… Pokemon… claims his favorite characters to play as are Pac-Man, Mr. Game & Watch, and Duck Hunt. Of course he claims the old as fuck characters are the best, he doesn’t know better. He doesn’t know the majesty of Diddy. Unless he was nerfed recently, Ninty doesn’t provide patch notes.
Then he… mentions the different stages… again. You had no material did you?
Oh but this time he mentions there’s UNLOCKABLE stages. Oooooo. He says Flat Zone X is his favorite. Stop trying to convince people that Game & Watch is your favorite. I doubt you ever played any Game & Watch games, whether the original watches or the Galleries on Game Boy/GBA/DS
2:56 - 3:57: He says the most fun is when you have a group. A fighting game is fun with friends? Ya don’t god damn say!
I love that when he says this, all the footage shows him fighting computer players or amiibo. Couldn’t even be assed to find real people to play with. Reminds me of his Brawl review when the same thing happened.
He sounds so bored through the whole video.
He mentions references AGAIN. I’m running out of things to say, he’s just repeating the same shit over and over again.
Like he says it’s better with other people. This is why scripting is important!
He claims Wii U is about “family experiences” again. Oh fuck off.
And he loses… That says so much doesn’t it?
Rest of the video… I don’t care to time it…:
“Alright I think I showed you all the cool aspects of the game” NO YOU DIDN’T! You didn’t show Classic Mode, All Star Mode, the Stadium games, Smash Tour, the Challenge Board, the Omega stages that make anything Final Destination, Trophy Rush, ONLINE! All you did was stammer about the same few things over and over again!
He says his only downside is that some characters aren’t back. He mentions bringing back Mewtwo and Lucas, but he wants to see Ice Climbers. That’s not going to happen, it’s been confirmed countless times it won’t happen. You can thank the 3DS version for that as it couldn’t handle four (rather eight) Ice Climbers during gameplay. Sure the Wii U version can handle it but they prefer to have parity between the two games, and I doubt they’ll give the Wii U version special treatment when the 3DS version outsold it (thanks Japan and its hatred of consoles)
He also wants to see Snake back *looks at Kojima’s status at Konami and Konami itself* That’s not going to happen either.
He brings up the Smash Bros Ballot, and puts a URL on screen. Not the actual ballot URL (right here: https://cp.nintendo.co.jp/us/) but to his stupid “amiibo Informer” site. Gotta get that clickbait!
He references his Brawl review and still says he wants to see Bomberman and Simon Belmont. You really don’t pay attention to the news do you? Anything owned by Konami is pretty much dead at this point (and that includes Bomberman as they bought and murdered Hudson Soft). I know he posted that joke image of Konami’s 2015 Strategy and Plan on his Facebook (seen here) but I don’t think he understood the humor behind it, he just saw f-bombs and thought “hur hur funneh”
“Because we grew up with these characters on the NES” You do realize you’re not the only age group playing Smash right? Lots of people play it, of all ages. What’s (supposedly) nostalgic for you is ancient history to a younger generation. Considering the really young generation is your audience, I don’t see them clamoring for those characters.
Blah blah this fighting game is above others blah blah blah blah…
He links his amiibo site again (CLIIIIICKBAAAAAAAIT) and mentions the rumor of “one of the characters from Street Fighter” … SERIOUSLY? You can’t even remember the name of the series’ mascot? Ryu! It’s fucking Ryu! Though until there’s actual confirmation, he’s just a rumor, along with Roy.
And that’s the end.
That was somehow worse than his Brawl review, and that was already pretty fucking bad. At least in the Brawl video he attempted a review. This was just unscripted rambling with abysmal editing. Script yourself Bores! It has been established for YEARS that you can’t go unscripted. Improvisation is one of your weaknesses!
And what did this video even add? Nothing. It told us nothing about a game that’s nearly six months old now. There’s no reason for this video to even exist… well outside of his terrible click-begging but there’s no legitimate reason for this video to exist.
There’s so much he missed. At no point does he mention the 3DS version (considering he somehow doesn’t know Mario Kart 7 is a thing, this shouldn’t surprise me), along with all the other stuff I mentioned above.
Shadow19 mentioned that he didn’t bring up Master Core. Ha, that would imply he would even attempt 5.5 difficulty.
He also mentioned a comment from Bores that he bought Mewtwo because he’s “a completionist”. … You are not even close to being a completionist. I get what he meant to say, he just wanted him because “he wanted all the characters”, but the word choice was absolutely wrong.
*sighs* Welp, see you next week for whatever stupid stuff he has.