Last week gave us a pitiful Punch-Out playthrough (P is such a fun letter for alliteration) and an absolutely terrible Smash Bros Wii U review. What will we see this week?!
Monday is a Skylanders video. … Yep.
This one going over the newest wave in Trap Team. I do not care at all.
There is one thing to point out though.
In the video, Bores refers to Spotlight, a female dragon, as “he”. When called out on it, Chris, under his “Linda” disguise claims that he “couldn’t tell as she didn’t have breasts”. Hoo boy…
Chris, and it’s obviously him and not “Linda” because even she couldn’t be THIS stupid, there are a multitude of ways to identify a woman. Eyes, hair, arms, legs, hips, waist, body type in general, movement, size (women tend to be shorter than men), speech, all these are just as important as breasts.
In fact, here’s Spotlight at the Skylanders Wiki. Those eyes say “I’m a girl”. If Bores was really confused, he could have easily booted up Trap Team and placed her in the game. Girl voice. Unless part of his Activision deal is that he can’t actually use them in the game until a certain date… but that doesn’t make a lick of sense.
Also, looking at the Female Skylanders there are other quadruped Skylanders that don’t have breasts.
There’s Cynder (also from the Legend of Spyro Trilogy prior to the Skylanders takeover)
Flashwing
Echo
Just to name a few.
This wouldn’t be the first time he confused a Skylander’s gender. In that really short stop-motion video he did, he gave a female Skylander a male voice. Not to mention believing that the Reapers in Kid Icarus are women. This raises way too many questions.
I am surprised May 4th didn’t give us a Star Wars video. Especially since a lot of people did and Bores is a major bandwagon jumper now.
Wednesday is… another Skylanders video.
This one has Bores speculating about the next game in the series. I couldn’t give any possible fucks.
Actually, I do find it interesting that it’s May and we don’t even have a title for the next game. Activision running behind schedule? We already know about the next CoD (or “We’re ripping off Deus Ex: Human Revolution now!”)
Friday is an IG Neo on Rayman Legends. Hold on, didn’t he already review this game?
…
He did! Back in 2013. My recap here: http://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/2013/09/no-arms-and-legs-thats-rayman-no-effort.html
Are you that low on material that you’re re-reviewing games now? Goes to show that his “three videos a week” schedule was a big mistake.
Perhaps there’s more to it though. Legends did come out on PS4 and Xbox One after his original review, maybe it’s one of those versions. He doesn’t specify in the title or description. Perhaps it’s a well-thought out analytical review that goes deep into the mechanics and lev- Pffffft hahahahaha, oh god I couldn’t finish that. The video is only four minutes long, none of that is going to be here.
I’m not going to bother timing this. If Bores isn’t going to try, why should I?
Once again, he is recording the TV with his camera. A major step backwards when the previous review used direct capture. So yeah, anyone that says he’s improving is LYING!
He does not mention that he already reviewed this game. I get the feeling he forgot.
He likes that there’s a lot of characters (he likes lots of characters because he can make lists and not have to do actual reviewing). He lists Sir Rayelot, “the blob” (he means Globox), the Teensy (can‘t tell which one as his quality is awful), and he gets to Barbara and says “there are some female girls you can play as” … Female girls. As opposed to what? This reminds me of one his Haunted Investigators videos where he said the ghosts were “female women”. Does Bores not understand that only one of those words is okay? You don’t need to say both.
He says Sir Rayelot is one of his favorites as he has “cool attacks”. THEY’RE BASICALLY ALL THE SAME! You run, punch, and jump!
There’s lots of levels, you go into them by jumping into a painting (like Super Mario 64 right? No mention of that?), says they’re all cool as they’re all “different”
He reveals he’s playing on the Wii U version (so it’s the same version he reviewed two years ago… why the camera now? Oh right, lazy) and mentions the Murfy levels that require the Game Pad. I’m curious, are these levels on the Vita or PS4 version since they have a touchpad?
He likes the multiplayer… once again without showing any multiplayer. Another reason he fails, he brings up multiplayer without actually showing it. He’s done this way too many times now.
He cuts to another level, mentions that you have to find 10 Teensies (not by name even though he said Teensy earlier). “Some are easy and some are hard” REALLY NOW?!
Cuts to another level… then another… he’s just describing what you do in the level. No thought.
“And in this level” “And in this level” “And in this level” What the hell is this?
He says there’s “another game”. He’s actually referring to the “Back to Origins” levels. Once again, he mispronounces Origins.
“So many levels and…… experiences” THIS IS WHY YOU SCRIPT YOURSELF!
“And that’s why it’s one of my favorite games” Because it has levels? You don’t even go into what makes the game great. You just say that each level is different and don’t explain why that’s a good thing. How it effects the controls or pacing of the game.
What was this?
I think I know. This is something a 9 year old would make. A kid that doesn’t know much about reviews, he sets his camera up and just plays random levels while going “this level is cool… I like this part… this is cool too”. Chris has officially regressed to the level of a grade schooler! This is a man that supposedly went to college for “creative writing” and “video editing”. There is somehow less effort in the Neo reviews now than before. I didn’t even think it was possible!
And no, he never mentions that he already reviewed this game. Yeah I still stand by that he likely forgot he did. How hard is it? Just look in your playlists.
That’s it… see you next week. Gonna play some Splatoon demo.
Showing posts with label Irate Gamer Neo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Irate Gamer Neo. Show all posts
Friday, May 8, 2015
Friday, May 1, 2015
Settle It In Smash! Just Don't Invite Chris Bores, He Will Ramble.
As I figured, Friday is a “big” video. A review of Super Smash Bros for Wii U. I guess Bores realized that waiting for all 52+ amiibo was a dumb idea when they all do the same fucking thing.
And hey, only 5-6 months since the game came out. Brilliant.
Also, don’t try to think you’ll get the same amount of views as your Brawl review. You won’t even get close.
0:00 - 0:51: Forgoing the “IG Neo” intro and going right into the “review”.
Like Mario Party 10, he is directly recording his TV with his camera. People thought it was because of YouTube Content ID (because people are crazy), but Bores revealed in the comments of the MP10 review that “capturing is too hard”. Translation: he’s lazy!
Claims he’s been playing Smash since the Gamecube (suuuure) and that each one gets better and better (I’d say Brawl is debatable) and adding more characters. Then says they “recently added a new character” and shows Mewtwo. I wouldn’t really call him new since he was in Melee. I would have said “they brought him back as DLC”.
He basically describes what’s on the menus, doesn’t really go into detail of what each mode is. He shows Event Mode and… hahahahaha, all the ones he actually beat show that he beat them on Easy (a blue dot instead of yellow or red) with none of the special challenges done (a golden flag would be next to it). Oh man.
0:52 - 1:51: Instead of actually going into detail about all the different modes, he just goes to the normal Smash mode. He says he’s happy to see Mega Man and Pac-Man “for old school fans” (more like Namco worked on the game and they let him in). He once again claims his favorite character is Mr. Game & Watch, likely because “me old school and me retro”, says he’s happy to see Duck Hunt, then… repeats that Mega Man and Pac-Man are in the game. You didn’t script this did you? I mean, it’s pretty obvious at points but that’s particularly bad.
He mentions the Miis, mentions Wii Fit Trainer and for some reason Greninja (I just find it odd that he’s one of the newcomers he points out). Surprised he didn’t mention Little Mac since the last several videos were about Punch-Out. Then a cut and… he mentions the Miis again. So not only is it obvious that it’s poorly scripted, but this is some immensely shoddy editing. This is someone that used to edit wedding videos for a living!
I noticed that before the cut, he was controlling the game with the sideways Wii Remote, but after he’s using the Wii U GamePad. Why would he ever control it with the Wii Remote anyway? It sucks for Smash. I’d get not having the Gamecube Adapter since it’s stupidly rare… then again Bores didn’t know Brawl could be played with Gamecube controllers so I doubt he knows about the Adapter.
He decides to play as his Mii, and it is still a terrifying Mii. He also decides to fight amiibo opponents instead of the AI ones. Probably because he can’t fight above Level 2.
He mentions the different stages.
1:51 - 2:56: “Each character has their own special move and attack” … No shit.
Mentions Final Smashes… “callbacks” by which he means Assist Trophies (how do you get all this WRONG?)… Pokemon… claims his favorite characters to play as are Pac-Man, Mr. Game & Watch, and Duck Hunt. Of course he claims the old as fuck characters are the best, he doesn’t know better. He doesn’t know the majesty of Diddy. Unless he was nerfed recently, Ninty doesn’t provide patch notes.
Then he… mentions the different stages… again. You had no material did you?
Oh but this time he mentions there’s UNLOCKABLE stages. Oooooo. He says Flat Zone X is his favorite. Stop trying to convince people that Game & Watch is your favorite. I doubt you ever played any Game & Watch games, whether the original watches or the Galleries on Game Boy/GBA/DS
2:56 - 3:57: He says the most fun is when you have a group. A fighting game is fun with friends? Ya don’t god damn say!
I love that when he says this, all the footage shows him fighting computer players or amiibo. Couldn’t even be assed to find real people to play with. Reminds me of his Brawl review when the same thing happened.
He sounds so bored through the whole video.
He mentions references AGAIN. I’m running out of things to say, he’s just repeating the same shit over and over again.
Like he says it’s better with other people. This is why scripting is important!
He claims Wii U is about “family experiences” again. Oh fuck off.
And he loses… That says so much doesn’t it?
Rest of the video… I don’t care to time it…:
“Alright I think I showed you all the cool aspects of the game” NO YOU DIDN’T! You didn’t show Classic Mode, All Star Mode, the Stadium games, Smash Tour, the Challenge Board, the Omega stages that make anything Final Destination, Trophy Rush, ONLINE! All you did was stammer about the same few things over and over again!
He says his only downside is that some characters aren’t back. He mentions bringing back Mewtwo and Lucas, but he wants to see Ice Climbers. That’s not going to happen, it’s been confirmed countless times it won’t happen. You can thank the 3DS version for that as it couldn’t handle four (rather eight) Ice Climbers during gameplay. Sure the Wii U version can handle it but they prefer to have parity between the two games, and I doubt they’ll give the Wii U version special treatment when the 3DS version outsold it (thanks Japan and its hatred of consoles)
He also wants to see Snake back *looks at Kojima’s status at Konami and Konami itself* That’s not going to happen either.
He brings up the Smash Bros Ballot, and puts a URL on screen. Not the actual ballot URL (right here: https://cp.nintendo.co.jp/us/) but to his stupid “amiibo Informer” site. Gotta get that clickbait!
He references his Brawl review and still says he wants to see Bomberman and Simon Belmont. You really don’t pay attention to the news do you? Anything owned by Konami is pretty much dead at this point (and that includes Bomberman as they bought and murdered Hudson Soft). I know he posted that joke image of Konami’s 2015 Strategy and Plan on his Facebook (seen here) but I don’t think he understood the humor behind it, he just saw f-bombs and thought “hur hur funneh”
“Because we grew up with these characters on the NES” You do realize you’re not the only age group playing Smash right? Lots of people play it, of all ages. What’s (supposedly) nostalgic for you is ancient history to a younger generation. Considering the really young generation is your audience, I don’t see them clamoring for those characters.
Blah blah this fighting game is above others blah blah blah blah…
He links his amiibo site again (CLIIIIICKBAAAAAAAIT) and mentions the rumor of “one of the characters from Street Fighter” … SERIOUSLY? You can’t even remember the name of the series’ mascot? Ryu! It’s fucking Ryu! Though until there’s actual confirmation, he’s just a rumor, along with Roy.
And that’s the end.
That was somehow worse than his Brawl review, and that was already pretty fucking bad. At least in the Brawl video he attempted a review. This was just unscripted rambling with abysmal editing. Script yourself Bores! It has been established for YEARS that you can’t go unscripted. Improvisation is one of your weaknesses!
And what did this video even add? Nothing. It told us nothing about a game that’s nearly six months old now. There’s no reason for this video to even exist… well outside of his terrible click-begging but there’s no legitimate reason for this video to exist.
There’s so much he missed. At no point does he mention the 3DS version (considering he somehow doesn’t know Mario Kart 7 is a thing, this shouldn’t surprise me), along with all the other stuff I mentioned above.
Shadow19 mentioned that he didn’t bring up Master Core. Ha, that would imply he would even attempt 5.5 difficulty.
He also mentioned a comment from Bores that he bought Mewtwo because he’s “a completionist”. … You are not even close to being a completionist. I get what he meant to say, he just wanted him because “he wanted all the characters”, but the word choice was absolutely wrong.
*sighs* Welp, see you next week for whatever stupid stuff he has.
Oh, and…
#WonderRed4Smash
And hey, only 5-6 months since the game came out. Brilliant.
Also, don’t try to think you’ll get the same amount of views as your Brawl review. You won’t even get close.
0:00 - 0:51: Forgoing the “IG Neo” intro and going right into the “review”.
Like Mario Party 10, he is directly recording his TV with his camera. People thought it was because of YouTube Content ID (because people are crazy), but Bores revealed in the comments of the MP10 review that “capturing is too hard”. Translation: he’s lazy!
Claims he’s been playing Smash since the Gamecube (suuuure) and that each one gets better and better (I’d say Brawl is debatable) and adding more characters. Then says they “recently added a new character” and shows Mewtwo. I wouldn’t really call him new since he was in Melee. I would have said “they brought him back as DLC”.
He basically describes what’s on the menus, doesn’t really go into detail of what each mode is. He shows Event Mode and… hahahahaha, all the ones he actually beat show that he beat them on Easy (a blue dot instead of yellow or red) with none of the special challenges done (a golden flag would be next to it). Oh man.
0:52 - 1:51: Instead of actually going into detail about all the different modes, he just goes to the normal Smash mode. He says he’s happy to see Mega Man and Pac-Man “for old school fans” (more like Namco worked on the game and they let him in). He once again claims his favorite character is Mr. Game & Watch, likely because “me old school and me retro”, says he’s happy to see Duck Hunt, then… repeats that Mega Man and Pac-Man are in the game. You didn’t script this did you? I mean, it’s pretty obvious at points but that’s particularly bad.
He mentions the Miis, mentions Wii Fit Trainer and for some reason Greninja (I just find it odd that he’s one of the newcomers he points out). Surprised he didn’t mention Little Mac since the last several videos were about Punch-Out. Then a cut and… he mentions the Miis again. So not only is it obvious that it’s poorly scripted, but this is some immensely shoddy editing. This is someone that used to edit wedding videos for a living!
I noticed that before the cut, he was controlling the game with the sideways Wii Remote, but after he’s using the Wii U GamePad. Why would he ever control it with the Wii Remote anyway? It sucks for Smash. I’d get not having the Gamecube Adapter since it’s stupidly rare… then again Bores didn’t know Brawl could be played with Gamecube controllers so I doubt he knows about the Adapter.
He decides to play as his Mii, and it is still a terrifying Mii. He also decides to fight amiibo opponents instead of the AI ones. Probably because he can’t fight above Level 2.
He mentions the different stages.
1:51 - 2:56: “Each character has their own special move and attack” … No shit.
Mentions Final Smashes… “callbacks” by which he means Assist Trophies (how do you get all this WRONG?)… Pokemon… claims his favorite characters to play as are Pac-Man, Mr. Game & Watch, and Duck Hunt. Of course he claims the old as fuck characters are the best, he doesn’t know better. He doesn’t know the majesty of Diddy. Unless he was nerfed recently, Ninty doesn’t provide patch notes.
Then he… mentions the different stages… again. You had no material did you?
Oh but this time he mentions there’s UNLOCKABLE stages. Oooooo. He says Flat Zone X is his favorite. Stop trying to convince people that Game & Watch is your favorite. I doubt you ever played any Game & Watch games, whether the original watches or the Galleries on Game Boy/GBA/DS
2:56 - 3:57: He says the most fun is when you have a group. A fighting game is fun with friends? Ya don’t god damn say!
I love that when he says this, all the footage shows him fighting computer players or amiibo. Couldn’t even be assed to find real people to play with. Reminds me of his Brawl review when the same thing happened.
He sounds so bored through the whole video.
He mentions references AGAIN. I’m running out of things to say, he’s just repeating the same shit over and over again.
Like he says it’s better with other people. This is why scripting is important!
He claims Wii U is about “family experiences” again. Oh fuck off.
And he loses… That says so much doesn’t it?
Rest of the video… I don’t care to time it…:
“Alright I think I showed you all the cool aspects of the game” NO YOU DIDN’T! You didn’t show Classic Mode, All Star Mode, the Stadium games, Smash Tour, the Challenge Board, the Omega stages that make anything Final Destination, Trophy Rush, ONLINE! All you did was stammer about the same few things over and over again!
He says his only downside is that some characters aren’t back. He mentions bringing back Mewtwo and Lucas, but he wants to see Ice Climbers. That’s not going to happen, it’s been confirmed countless times it won’t happen. You can thank the 3DS version for that as it couldn’t handle four (rather eight) Ice Climbers during gameplay. Sure the Wii U version can handle it but they prefer to have parity between the two games, and I doubt they’ll give the Wii U version special treatment when the 3DS version outsold it (thanks Japan and its hatred of consoles)
He also wants to see Snake back *looks at Kojima’s status at Konami and Konami itself* That’s not going to happen either.
He brings up the Smash Bros Ballot, and puts a URL on screen. Not the actual ballot URL (right here: https://cp.nintendo.co.jp/us/) but to his stupid “amiibo Informer” site. Gotta get that clickbait!
He references his Brawl review and still says he wants to see Bomberman and Simon Belmont. You really don’t pay attention to the news do you? Anything owned by Konami is pretty much dead at this point (and that includes Bomberman as they bought and murdered Hudson Soft). I know he posted that joke image of Konami’s 2015 Strategy and Plan on his Facebook (seen here) but I don’t think he understood the humor behind it, he just saw f-bombs and thought “hur hur funneh”
“Because we grew up with these characters on the NES” You do realize you’re not the only age group playing Smash right? Lots of people play it, of all ages. What’s (supposedly) nostalgic for you is ancient history to a younger generation. Considering the really young generation is your audience, I don’t see them clamoring for those characters.
Blah blah this fighting game is above others blah blah blah blah…
He links his amiibo site again (CLIIIIICKBAAAAAAAIT) and mentions the rumor of “one of the characters from Street Fighter” … SERIOUSLY? You can’t even remember the name of the series’ mascot? Ryu! It’s fucking Ryu! Though until there’s actual confirmation, he’s just a rumor, along with Roy.
And that’s the end.
That was somehow worse than his Brawl review, and that was already pretty fucking bad. At least in the Brawl video he attempted a review. This was just unscripted rambling with abysmal editing. Script yourself Bores! It has been established for YEARS that you can’t go unscripted. Improvisation is one of your weaknesses!
And what did this video even add? Nothing. It told us nothing about a game that’s nearly six months old now. There’s no reason for this video to even exist… well outside of his terrible click-begging but there’s no legitimate reason for this video to exist.
There’s so much he missed. At no point does he mention the 3DS version (considering he somehow doesn’t know Mario Kart 7 is a thing, this shouldn’t surprise me), along with all the other stuff I mentioned above.
Shadow19 mentioned that he didn’t bring up Master Core. Ha, that would imply he would even attempt 5.5 difficulty.
He also mentioned a comment from Bores that he bought Mewtwo because he’s “a completionist”. … You are not even close to being a completionist. I get what he meant to say, he just wanted him because “he wanted all the characters”, but the word choice was absolutely wrong.
*sighs* Welp, see you next week for whatever stupid stuff he has.
Oh, and…
#WonderRed4Smash
Friday, April 26, 2013
Will There Be No Justice for Injustice? It's IG, What Do You Expect?
You know, after watching a 2 and a half hour video of DarkSydePhil painfully fumble his way through Metal Gear Solid 3, I realized something. This is exactly how Bores would do a blind Let’s Play. He’d blame the game for his own faults, he’d crack jokes non-stop, and he would act like a child. Good thing Bores hasn’t discovered Let’s Plays, otherwise we’d get a crap-ton of Minecraft videos, or whatever the big popular game is right now.
Anywho, new video. His first Neo video since January. Injustice: Gods Among Us. Huh, funny how we all predicted he’d do this one. I thought it wouldn’t be for another few months considering how long he takes. But he managed to get it out within a fortnight of release. Let’s see how much of the game he actually played.
0:06 - 0:15: IG begins the video claiming he got a lot of requests to review it. Uh huh, yeah I’m sure. It’s not like you’re predictable considering how often you gush about Mortal Kombat and that you’re a self-proclaimed DC fanboy, and this a DC fighting game from Netherrealm Studios, the people behind the latest MK. No no, it was the fans.
He holds up the box, then throws it. DON’T DO THAT! Stop treating your games like props! You never show respect to your games!
0:16 - 0:41: He starts up saying this new “brawling” game is from the creators of the MK reboot. Care to say the studio’s name?
He brings up that it has all our DC Comics characters, and some “not-so-favorites”. He has Raven on screen when he mentions this. What’s wrong with Raven? Do you not like the Teen Titans? Because I know a few people that will kick your ass with words.
Then he goes to characters that he doesn’t recognize. So you’re a “big comic book fan” and you claim there’s characters you can’t recognize. I’m looking at the roster and there’s no obscure characters. I don’t see crap like Brother Power of the Geek, Captain Carrot, or the rapist version of Doctor Light.
The footage is on Killer Frost, then it cuts to IG wondering who that is. Then… *sighs* Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons appears and tells him she’s a Firestorm villain. Ugh, was that needed? Yes yes, comic books but if Chris is claiming to be a big comic book fan going by his movie lists, then he should try to act the part. Not do a stupid bit with a Simpsons character.
By the way, I love how one of the only comments (GotGame) calls it a “Matt Groening cameo”. That’s funny, I always thought CBG was played by Hank Azaria.
0:42 - 1:33: Characters are awesome, they come out swinging, they do cool things…
“Once a character hits their limit break” Again Chris, this isn’t Final Fantasy. It’s called a special, or a super move. Not a “limit break”. Learn your fucking terminology.
He mentions that some specials like Harley Quinn’s (you’re saying it wrong) aren’t that cool, and that some specials like The Flash’s make you wonder why the others aren’t this cool. Because Harley doesn’t have any superpowers, and the Flash is the fastest man alive. She’s kind of limited to what she can do, she’s not going to reenact the finale to the JLU episode “Divided We Fall” and run around the world to deliver a megaton punch.
After showing The Flash doing that, IG yells “Shazam” and gets hit by lightning. As if he wasn’t enough of a Mary Sue, he now has the powers of Shazam, that’s great. Oh wait, it was a joke because he didn’t get up. ………….
“Who know Aquaman was so powerful?” Anyone that read the comics? He rules the oceans, commands every fish in the sea, including sharks! He has super strength and durability. This perception of Aquaman being crap is only enforced by shitty comedy writers (E.G. Family Guy and Robot Chicken).
1:34 - 2:20: IG moves on to the story. He found it enjoyable and he managed to power through within two days. Wait, he actually beat it?
He claims that’s “rare” because he likes to … play a little at a time and… savor it like a … fine…wine. BULL! SHIT! Savor like a fine wine, give me a damn break. There’s so many games you’ve played for IG Neo that you only played for one or two hours, and then decide” Yup, that’s good enough”. That’s not “savoring”, that’s being lazy! That almost sounded like a response to the critics calling him out for not beating every game he reviews. Hey moron, ever consider that you’re exempt from not beating shitty NES games because of bad design? You don’t have that luxury with modern games, even if the controls are busted you have endless checkpoints and places to save, games these days love to hold your damn hand.
See, this is why Bores will never do things like Let’s Plays or livestreams, he’s laaaazy! That and a livestream chat would be trolled soooo hard.
Oh wait, this was all setting up a joke. Of course it was… IG is in a suit, holding a glass of wine and some flower saying that they’re “very cultured”, and then he drops his flower and yells “shit!” Hypocritical humor, because he just said he was cultured…
He summarizes the story and that DC fans will love this game (as it cuts to IG reading a Green Lantern TPB and wearing a Batman shirt shouting “Wooo”) and… Marvel fans will be jealous that they don’t have this “epic game” (cutting to IG reading an X-Men TPB and looking angry). Why did you bring up the Marvel fans? There was no reason to bring up the Marvel fans.
I love how he isn’t even wearing a Marvel related t-shirt. Couldn’t fully to the bit, now that’s sad.
2:21 - 2:50: He mentions Easter Eggs, like Hal Jordan being a Yellow Lantern (not an Easter Egg, it’s plot related) and then mentions they got Kevin Conroy to voice Batman (this surprises you?) and George Newbern as Superman from the “iconic cartoon series”. Actually, Newbern was Superman in Justice League and JLU. Tim Daly was Superman in The Animated Series. But that little research probably took away from your busy job of………….
2:51 - 3:34: IG then moves onto the negatives. And he says he can’t find any. Figures… because actually being critical is for neeeeerds.
Oh but he has stupid nitpicks. He found Wonder Woman’s breasts distracting since they were trying to go for “realism”. At least Power Girl isn’t the game… and you played MK9 you should have expected buxom women.
He also didn’t like that all you get for beating story mode is a new costume for Superman. What were you expecting? It’s a fighting game, the rewards aren’t going to be that amazing. It’s not like an RPG with New Game Plus that allows you to take all your stats into a new game and allow you to punish everything that gave you trouble at the start.
Oh and another lame Comic Book Guy bit. Whatever…
He mentions that the game will have DLC so if you’re hoping for Booster Gold or Blue Beetle, you might get it. Then it cuts to IG dressed as the leader of the Booster Gold fan club, he’s wearing a wig and an Injustice shirt. Why not a Booster Gold shirt? Then it transitions to IG saying “God help us all” and putting his hand on his face. What’s that expression meant to be? He’s such a bad actor it’s hard to tell.
There’s a 1% chance he’s right though, the only DLC character we know of is Lobo. But we’ll see what happens.
The video ends with his usual final verdict. He liked it. … Weak. At least there was no lame joke.
This review was… eeeeeeeeeeeeh. Certainly not the worst, but by no means good. As usual, no mention of online or even the controls for that matter. Just the story mode and some other things that really don’t matter in the overall scheme of things. Plus the lame lame Comic Book Guy bits. At least the Fall of Cybertron review had a character from Transformers, even though he’s just leftover from a pointless bit in his regular show. Why was he there? Because comic books? That’s a flimsy excuse.
I’ll give him credit for not mentioning he played this at E3. I guess he does listen, despite his mother’s abrasive insults.
I'll also give him credit for not wondering where the fatalities are. Anyone that asked that was stupid, and I'm not just talking about Bores.
Speaking of E3, I’m looking at the stuff he covered last year. I’m surprised he didn’t review God of War Ascension, unless he’s going to be late to that one. Star Trek just came out to pretty negative reviews. But I get the feeling he’ll give it a positive one because “Star Trek” and “gwaphics” (even though the game doesn’t really look that good).
This year’s E3? June 11th-13th. So the 3-4 weeks following that will be all boring E3 videos of info we could have gotten in five minutes through a Google search.
Anywho, new video. His first Neo video since January. Injustice: Gods Among Us. Huh, funny how we all predicted he’d do this one. I thought it wouldn’t be for another few months considering how long he takes. But he managed to get it out within a fortnight of release. Let’s see how much of the game he actually played.
0:06 - 0:15: IG begins the video claiming he got a lot of requests to review it. Uh huh, yeah I’m sure. It’s not like you’re predictable considering how often you gush about Mortal Kombat and that you’re a self-proclaimed DC fanboy, and this a DC fighting game from Netherrealm Studios, the people behind the latest MK. No no, it was the fans.
He holds up the box, then throws it. DON’T DO THAT! Stop treating your games like props! You never show respect to your games!
0:16 - 0:41: He starts up saying this new “brawling” game is from the creators of the MK reboot. Care to say the studio’s name?
He brings up that it has all our DC Comics characters, and some “not-so-favorites”. He has Raven on screen when he mentions this. What’s wrong with Raven? Do you not like the Teen Titans? Because I know a few people that will kick your ass with words.
Then he goes to characters that he doesn’t recognize. So you’re a “big comic book fan” and you claim there’s characters you can’t recognize. I’m looking at the roster and there’s no obscure characters. I don’t see crap like Brother Power of the Geek, Captain Carrot, or the rapist version of Doctor Light.
The footage is on Killer Frost, then it cuts to IG wondering who that is. Then… *sighs* Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons appears and tells him she’s a Firestorm villain. Ugh, was that needed? Yes yes, comic books but if Chris is claiming to be a big comic book fan going by his movie lists, then he should try to act the part. Not do a stupid bit with a Simpsons character.
By the way, I love how one of the only comments (GotGame) calls it a “Matt Groening cameo”. That’s funny, I always thought CBG was played by Hank Azaria.
0:42 - 1:33: Characters are awesome, they come out swinging, they do cool things…
“Once a character hits their limit break” Again Chris, this isn’t Final Fantasy. It’s called a special, or a super move. Not a “limit break”. Learn your fucking terminology.
He mentions that some specials like Harley Quinn’s (you’re saying it wrong) aren’t that cool, and that some specials like The Flash’s make you wonder why the others aren’t this cool. Because Harley doesn’t have any superpowers, and the Flash is the fastest man alive. She’s kind of limited to what she can do, she’s not going to reenact the finale to the JLU episode “Divided We Fall” and run around the world to deliver a megaton punch.
After showing The Flash doing that, IG yells “Shazam” and gets hit by lightning. As if he wasn’t enough of a Mary Sue, he now has the powers of Shazam, that’s great. Oh wait, it was a joke because he didn’t get up. ………….
“Who know Aquaman was so powerful?” Anyone that read the comics? He rules the oceans, commands every fish in the sea, including sharks! He has super strength and durability. This perception of Aquaman being crap is only enforced by shitty comedy writers (E.G. Family Guy and Robot Chicken).
1:34 - 2:20: IG moves on to the story. He found it enjoyable and he managed to power through within two days. Wait, he actually beat it?
He claims that’s “rare” because he likes to … play a little at a time and… savor it like a … fine…wine. BULL! SHIT! Savor like a fine wine, give me a damn break. There’s so many games you’ve played for IG Neo that you only played for one or two hours, and then decide” Yup, that’s good enough”. That’s not “savoring”, that’s being lazy! That almost sounded like a response to the critics calling him out for not beating every game he reviews. Hey moron, ever consider that you’re exempt from not beating shitty NES games because of bad design? You don’t have that luxury with modern games, even if the controls are busted you have endless checkpoints and places to save, games these days love to hold your damn hand.
See, this is why Bores will never do things like Let’s Plays or livestreams, he’s laaaazy! That and a livestream chat would be trolled soooo hard.
Oh wait, this was all setting up a joke. Of course it was… IG is in a suit, holding a glass of wine and some flower saying that they’re “very cultured”, and then he drops his flower and yells “shit!” Hypocritical humor, because he just said he was cultured…
He summarizes the story and that DC fans will love this game (as it cuts to IG reading a Green Lantern TPB and wearing a Batman shirt shouting “Wooo”) and… Marvel fans will be jealous that they don’t have this “epic game” (cutting to IG reading an X-Men TPB and looking angry). Why did you bring up the Marvel fans? There was no reason to bring up the Marvel fans.
I love how he isn’t even wearing a Marvel related t-shirt. Couldn’t fully to the bit, now that’s sad.
2:21 - 2:50: He mentions Easter Eggs, like Hal Jordan being a Yellow Lantern (not an Easter Egg, it’s plot related) and then mentions they got Kevin Conroy to voice Batman (this surprises you?) and George Newbern as Superman from the “iconic cartoon series”. Actually, Newbern was Superman in Justice League and JLU. Tim Daly was Superman in The Animated Series. But that little research probably took away from your busy job of………….
2:51 - 3:34: IG then moves onto the negatives. And he says he can’t find any. Figures… because actually being critical is for neeeeerds.
Oh but he has stupid nitpicks. He found Wonder Woman’s breasts distracting since they were trying to go for “realism”. At least Power Girl isn’t the game… and you played MK9 you should have expected buxom women.
He also didn’t like that all you get for beating story mode is a new costume for Superman. What were you expecting? It’s a fighting game, the rewards aren’t going to be that amazing. It’s not like an RPG with New Game Plus that allows you to take all your stats into a new game and allow you to punish everything that gave you trouble at the start.
Oh and another lame Comic Book Guy bit. Whatever…
He mentions that the game will have DLC so if you’re hoping for Booster Gold or Blue Beetle, you might get it. Then it cuts to IG dressed as the leader of the Booster Gold fan club, he’s wearing a wig and an Injustice shirt. Why not a Booster Gold shirt? Then it transitions to IG saying “God help us all” and putting his hand on his face. What’s that expression meant to be? He’s such a bad actor it’s hard to tell.
There’s a 1% chance he’s right though, the only DLC character we know of is Lobo. But we’ll see what happens.
The video ends with his usual final verdict. He liked it. … Weak. At least there was no lame joke.
This review was… eeeeeeeeeeeeh. Certainly not the worst, but by no means good. As usual, no mention of online or even the controls for that matter. Just the story mode and some other things that really don’t matter in the overall scheme of things. Plus the lame lame Comic Book Guy bits. At least the Fall of Cybertron review had a character from Transformers, even though he’s just leftover from a pointless bit in his regular show. Why was he there? Because comic books? That’s a flimsy excuse.
I’ll give him credit for not mentioning he played this at E3. I guess he does listen, despite his mother’s abrasive insults.
I'll also give him credit for not wondering where the fatalities are. Anyone that asked that was stupid, and I'm not just talking about Bores.
Speaking of E3, I’m looking at the stuff he covered last year. I’m surprised he didn’t review God of War Ascension, unless he’s going to be late to that one. Star Trek just came out to pretty negative reviews. But I get the feeling he’ll give it a positive one because “Star Trek” and “gwaphics” (even though the game doesn’t really look that good).
This year’s E3? June 11th-13th. So the 3-4 weeks following that will be all boring E3 videos of info we could have gotten in five minutes through a Google search.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Coin-Collecting Gets Boring
It’s funny, I thought things would be slow for a while. I guess my prediction skills are getting rusty.
Bores posted his first actual review of 2013, New Super Mario Bros 2, and only five months after it came out. Pity pity, you were getting so good at releasing reviews within a fortnight of release. Judging by the length of this video though (2:30), I don’t think it would have mattered as it sounds like this will be just as bad.
0:06 - 0:14: “It’s 3DS time” Joy…
“The New Super Mario Bros 2” There’s no “the” in it, stop adding “the” to things that aren’t there. I thought you broke that habit.
0:15 - 0:38: IG brings up the coin-collecting gimmick and the “coin-collecting based power-ups”, referencing the Gold Blocks and golden enemies. I wouldn’t really call those power-ups, the Gold Blocks are more like an item. The Gold Flowers are a power-up, but stuff like the Gold Blocks, Gold Rings and Gold Mushrooms are items.
He attempts to do Tony the Tiger’s catchpharse, but bumps his hand on an invisible block. *rolls eyes* I see the lame jokes are back.
By the way, collecting coins leads nowhere. The only reward for getting 1 million is a change to the title screen.
0:39 - 1:41: He notes the coin “life tab” on the title screen. You mean counter? The hell’s a life tab?
Then he notes you’ll be collecting coins until your head falls off, and his head falls off. I’d say “review over”, but I’m not that lucky.
He brings that the levels are an improvement, by mentioning how Worlds 4 and 7 were locked in the first NSMB, and they “fixed that” in this one by making the hidden worlds bonus levels. Then he brings up the hidden level cannons and how the mini-levels that follow kicked his ass. He dies on one and lets out one of the fakest screams he’s ever done. Real people don’t sound like this when they die in a game.
Also, specify in more ways how the levels are an improvement. Are they tougher? Are they more varied? All you said was “the hidden worlds are bonuses". That’s boring!
1:42 - 2:01: Blah blah blah levels blah.
He mentions that he loves the ghost houses as you never know where you’ll go. He shows Mario entering a door and… let me guess he shows up somewhere else that’s not actually the game.
Yep, he shows up in front of IG himself and runs to a door that’s on the other side of his desk. How did he not notice those doors before? Whatever…
The review ends with him enjoying the blasts from the pasts, citing the Koopalings and Reznors, but is saddened there’s no Kuribo’s Shoe. Then calls it a 3DS staple and must have. As he does his catchphrase, a Banzai Bill flies past him. Really, you resorted to that joke again? I don’t get why you like it, it’s not funny in the slightest.
That was… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
A whole lot of nothing really. He was vague, boring, and really added nothing a to game that’s 5 months old and has all the DLC released. I’m not even sure if he beat it.
Also, he couldn’t get a 3DS capture device. I know they exist, I’ve seen people sell them for a high price (I won’t say who as I’m iffy on the legality of it) and I’ve seen YouTube users Knightwing01 and Marriland use one, along with a few others. Vita I can understand, there’s no possible way to capture that yet.
Yeesh, this was a short article. This has also been a lame year so far. Nothing has really happened.
Bores posted his first actual review of 2013, New Super Mario Bros 2, and only five months after it came out. Pity pity, you were getting so good at releasing reviews within a fortnight of release. Judging by the length of this video though (2:30), I don’t think it would have mattered as it sounds like this will be just as bad.
0:06 - 0:14: “It’s 3DS time” Joy…
“The New Super Mario Bros 2” There’s no “the” in it, stop adding “the” to things that aren’t there. I thought you broke that habit.
0:15 - 0:38: IG brings up the coin-collecting gimmick and the “coin-collecting based power-ups”, referencing the Gold Blocks and golden enemies. I wouldn’t really call those power-ups, the Gold Blocks are more like an item. The Gold Flowers are a power-up, but stuff like the Gold Blocks, Gold Rings and Gold Mushrooms are items.
He attempts to do Tony the Tiger’s catchpharse, but bumps his hand on an invisible block. *rolls eyes* I see the lame jokes are back.
By the way, collecting coins leads nowhere. The only reward for getting 1 million is a change to the title screen.
0:39 - 1:41: He notes the coin “life tab” on the title screen. You mean counter? The hell’s a life tab?
Then he notes you’ll be collecting coins until your head falls off, and his head falls off. I’d say “review over”, but I’m not that lucky.
He brings that the levels are an improvement, by mentioning how Worlds 4 and 7 were locked in the first NSMB, and they “fixed that” in this one by making the hidden worlds bonus levels. Then he brings up the hidden level cannons and how the mini-levels that follow kicked his ass. He dies on one and lets out one of the fakest screams he’s ever done. Real people don’t sound like this when they die in a game.
Also, specify in more ways how the levels are an improvement. Are they tougher? Are they more varied? All you said was “the hidden worlds are bonuses". That’s boring!
1:42 - 2:01: Blah blah blah levels blah.
He mentions that he loves the ghost houses as you never know where you’ll go. He shows Mario entering a door and… let me guess he shows up somewhere else that’s not actually the game.
Yep, he shows up in front of IG himself and runs to a door that’s on the other side of his desk. How did he not notice those doors before? Whatever…
The review ends with him enjoying the blasts from the pasts, citing the Koopalings and Reznors, but is saddened there’s no Kuribo’s Shoe. Then calls it a 3DS staple and must have. As he does his catchphrase, a Banzai Bill flies past him. Really, you resorted to that joke again? I don’t get why you like it, it’s not funny in the slightest.
That was… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
A whole lot of nothing really. He was vague, boring, and really added nothing a to game that’s 5 months old and has all the DLC released. I’m not even sure if he beat it.
Also, he couldn’t get a 3DS capture device. I know they exist, I’ve seen people sell them for a high price (I won’t say who as I’m iffy on the legality of it) and I’ve seen YouTube users Knightwing01 and Marriland use one, along with a few others. Vita I can understand, there’s no possible way to capture that yet.
Yeesh, this was a short article. This has also been a lame year so far. Nothing has really happened.
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