Friday, July 3, 2015

In the Year 20XX, a Total Moron Tries to Bash an All-Time Classic

I didn’t write up a post last week as I barely had any material.
Last Tuesday was more Skylanders and last Friday was his “Top 5 80’s Toys”. It was a boring video where he just goes on and on about his favorite toys from the time. Two of them (Garbage Pail Kids and M.U.S.C.L.E.) were already featured on I Bore the 80’s. But overall, not really much to say about it.

This Tuesday was more fucking Skylanders. Get used to seeing this.
Friday’s video is a new regular IG episode. This one on… oh no, oh no no no no no no no NO! Mega Man. Do you want people to hate you Chris? Are you attempting to be a contrarian for views? It’s not working. Have you just given up? Have you realized that you’re not actually a critic or capable of distinguishing a good game from a bad one so you’ve resorted to mindless nitpicking? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! This isn’t improvement.

The video is nearly 8 minutes long, clocking in at 7:48. This is going to be suffering.

*reads description*
“Another Madcap episode of The Irate Gamer!” You already said “madcap” last time. It was wrong then and it’s probably wrong now. No wait, half of it is right, it’s certainly “mad”, and it will drive people “mad”.
“This time we are taking a look at the classic video game, Mega Man. The entire franchise starts here. Fighting all 6 robots, taking their power up, and dying a billion times in the process... yeah its kind of like that.” We’re six episodes into “Season 5” and I think I got his formula down. Find a beloved old game that was kind of hard, cry about it being hard, insert a bunch of stupid Family Guy jokes, then destroy the game for petty or made-up reasons. Perfect! Pffffffffft

0:17 - 0:47: After the intro, we begin on Karbia Yuan’s IG Mega Man sprite, jumping into the screen like someone selected a level. IG’s Clear Bonus is only 50,000.
He goes over how it was popular, there were six games on the NES, and the thing that made it popular was beating bosses and taking their weapons. Well that wasn’t the only thing, they were well-designed platformers that were challenging and fun. I’ve noticed Chris has weird reasons for believing certain games were popular. Super Mario Bros was popular because it was bundled with every NES, Punch-Out was popular because of the characters. He never considers that these games were popular because they were well-made games. Buuut again that would require him to understand what makes a game good or bad.
After he brings up the taking powers part, he calls Mega Man a “regular Hamburglar of the video game world”. Let me guess, the fucking Hamburglar is going to appear. OH WHAT A SHOCK! Not even a minute in and we have random references.
Actually, I’m kind of surprised Bores hasn’t made a video crying about the new Hamburglar and how they’re destroying his childhood. He complained on Twitter about the all-girl Ghostbusters and that he wanted to “jump off a roof”, so I’m surprised he hasn’t said the same about Human Hamburglar.

0:48 - 1:51: He brings up how you can select the stages in order, but some are so hard you’ll go batshit crazy and it cuts to the stage select screen with various “Screaming IG’s” replacing the Robot Masters.
Then he brings up the infamous box art, and how it misleads you into thinking you’ll be playing a “badass military man” and not a “cartoon robot in his underwear”. Are you seriously slighting the game for NOT having that ugly Tron mofo as the protagonist? You’re really reaching for issues.

He starts on Cut Man since it’s the first highlighted and HOLY CRAP HE BROUGHT UP THE MUSIC! After five episodes of never mentioning music, he finally brings it up! Is he finally listening? No, if he really was, he wouldn’t be “reviewing” good games.
Blah blah “get past obstacles and enemies”, captain obvious lines.
He claims the stage is “easy to get through on one life”, despite the fact that he barely has any health when he reaches Cut Man. He claims beating the boss is “a different thing entirely” and he… jumps right into him. Wow, he’s terrible. That had to be intentional, the low health, the jumping right into him, he did that so he could…
React by lunging towards the camera with his mouth wide open. Jeeeez, didn’t expect any jump scares in this video.

He beats Cut Man and moves onto Ice Man’s stage (that’s not his weakness!) He shows off how the Rolling Cutter can kill enemies in one hit and… make intricate works of origami, as he kills one of the Pengs and it turns into a paper crane. That’s not what origami is, don’t you mean sashimi?

1:52 - 3:23: He heads to Fire Man next. That’s not his weakness either! Elec Man! Go to Elec Man, or rather go to Guts Man so you can get his Super Arm then go to Elec Man so you can get the Magnet Beam.
He gushes about the Rolling Cutter some more. I prefer the Thunder Beam and Fire Storm. Then a joke where he throws one and it takes a long time to come back. Already resorted to padding.
He dies at one point, and decides to leave and go to Ice Man’s stage. Now I’m just confused about the Peng scene earlier…
He then says Ice Man looks like he has a cool mustache and wonders if he’s related to the Pringles mascot. Okay no, that’s not a mustache. If you look at any official artwork, you’d realize that’s his mouth. I never saw a mustache and you know why? They’re robots, they have no need for facial hair. Light and Wily have enough to go around.

So apparently Bores calls the infamous disappearing platforms a “rock climb”. I… what? That doesn’t even make sense.
Anyway, padding padding padding! He manages to get past the first set but sees there’s a second set. He gives up and goes to Guts Man stage, but not before bringing up the moving platforms.

3:24 - 4:29:  Onto Guts Man’s stage. Wow… he even fails at just getting on the first platform. I can understand the other platforms, but the first? He dies like 4 times too, and it’s not recycled footage, the Met bullets are different in a couple shots.
MORE PADDING as he dies and dies and dies and dies THIS ISN’T ENTERTAINING! Nobody likes watching someone die over and over again, that’s why I Wanna Be the Guy LP’s were the worst thing, and one of the many reasons DSP is terrible. I know it’s edited, but showing edits of dying in the same place over and over isn’t fun either. It’s not like the RE4 death montage where each death is different.

He gets past the platforms and says he’d hate to start this level over again. Let me guess, he dies and has to start over. YEP! A Picket Man hits him and falls down the pit. We get an “AW SHEE-IT” and cut to IG ripping up a Nintendo Power poster of The Lost Vikings. That was probably worth something you inconsiderate asshole, not in value but in love for that game.
He “realizes” he’s called Guts Man because he makes you want to punch him in the guts, rip out his intestines and strangle him to death with them. … He’s a fucking robot! He doesn’t have those! All he’s doing is complaining it’s hard… not that it’s any different from before.

4:29 - 5:13: He gets his power and returns to Ice Man’s stage (GO TO ELEC MAN) and sees it “doesn’t do anything”. You need to be next to a block, his thing is that he lifts block. Those blocks you walked in on when you fought Cut Man, you could use those to take out Cut Man with ease.
Then he cuts to him fighting Elec Man with the Rolling Cutter (so he does know!), then cuts to fighting Bomb Man with the Fire Storm, then back at Guts Man’s stage for some reason with the Hyper Bomb, which he tries to use on a Met (idiot…). He then gets upset that there’s a delay. … It’s a Bomb, of course there’s a delay. That’s the point.
He complains that even if you freeze someone with the Ice Slasher, they can still hurt you. He was walking through that enemy, not trying to jump or anything. Use common sense Chris!
For some reason he thinks he needs to be armed to the teeth to take on Fire Man’s level. Not really… Buster-only runs exist.
There’s a point where he blocks himself because he shot the Ice Slasher wrong.

5:13 - 6:42:  He beats all six, and unlocks Dr. Wily’s fortress.
“No Guts, no Cuts, no Dr. Wily Butts” … What? Oh, it’s meant to be a play on “No cuts, no buts, no coconuts”. What are you, 6?
He says you’ll need the combined powers of all the Robot Masters to get through, and lists how they’re used. I’ve gone through fine with just the Buster, saving my weapon energy for the bosses. He finally sees what the Super Arm is used for but still hates it because it’s only used a couple times.
By the way, HE FORGOT THE MAGNET BEAM! Yeah, his power list is missing a bar.
We then get a major “no shit” observation when he brings up the spikes. Not sure why he saved that until now, the entire game has spikes.

More about spikes, more about enemies, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
He dies again at one point and rips up a poster of Road Runner’s Death Valley Rally. This just seems like a waste. Oh then he pours salt on it and tries to eat it. I’d make a joke about “being salty”, but the acting is so bad that I can’t even call it “salt”.
More about the Wily stages being hard, how you have to fight the Robot Masters again, and the Copy Robot, which he dies to. I’m surprised he didn’t mention the Yellow Devil, considering how crazy difficult that boss is. I get the feeling Bores uses the Pause Trick.
After dying to the Copy Robot, we cut to him and… his jacket turns red and he starts speaking with a demon voice. If you’re trying to sound “Irate”, it’s not working. It’s just goofy and eye-rolling.

He finally gets to Wily, then just defeats him. What, no complaining about having a second form? I’m sure you could get another 30 seconds of padding from that.
He claims you “make him your bitch” because he bows after defeating. He’s begging for mercy Chris.
“Hang on, let me unzip my pants” … You are horrible! Urgh, and I thought the incest jokes about Mega Man & Roll were bad.
Over the credits, we see Rock running through the city and he claims it reminds him of something… and Doc Louis and Little Mac show up. REFERENCES!

“Now onto Mega Man 2” No!
Then he has memories of what he just played… let me guess, this is where he destroys it right? … Actually no, he just says he’s done and leaves. That’s surprising, not actually destroying the game. Is he finally realizing that destroying good games is making him look like a jackass? Then maybe you shouldn’t review good games in the first place!

That was horrifying.
I swear, the only point I heard was “it’s hard it’s hard it’s hard it’s hard”, just like the Kid Icarus review.
Okay, he did bring up the music ONCE but the whole time it’s just “it’s hard” and random references like the Hamburglar and the Pringles mascot (who is apparently named Julius Pringles if Wikipedia is anything to go by).
In fact, I’m pretty sure he faked half of that. It was so clear that he was playing bad on purpose? Why? What’s the point of doing that? Why do you want the world to think you suck?
What is the appeal? Who is this for? Kids that don’t know better? I really don’t understand.

Go play a Mega Man title, or wait for Mighty No. 9. Something to remind you that Mega Man is still excellent, even if Capcom hates him right now.

EDIT: As many of you in the comments have pointed out, there is some heavy Game Genie use in the second half of the video. Going back and checking, yeah it's everywhere.
He's jumping higher than normal, he's getting hit and NOT taking damage, and the sounds are kind of messed up (something that happens when using Game Genie on the first two Mega Mans). Some things never change with Bores do they?

EDIT 2: I didn't notice this before, but I see it now. It's likely Bores stole footage for the end of the game.
Everything past the first Wily Stage is in a slightly different quality. He's also taking damage despite having Game Genie on before. Could Chris not even get to the Yellow Devil? It would explain why he's never mentioned despite his infamy (and "not knowing" is not an excuse, he shows up Smash 4).

123 comments:

  1. Will do, Dan. Think I'll backup my 3DS Virtual Console copy, then do the drinking game at home (just got out of Terminator Genesis, it literally and figuratively kicked Salvation's ass).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Referring to Arnold curb-stomping his petty CG double, of course.

      Delete
    2. Anything would be better than Salvation.

      I just thought it was stupid they revealed so much via posters and the trailer.

      ...why? That's some Bores level idiocy.

      But the movie was kick ass just as much as Boring sucks ass at gaming. The GG bridge scene was pretty aweome

      Delete
  2. ...Is it weird that I'm glad he mostly complained about the difficulty? At least he didn't make bullshit reason for why it was bad. And it was probably good he didn't review MM2. That game is so loved he would have the fans in Dead Heat Rage mode. And he better stay away from X.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I imagine if he reviewed X, he'd complain about stupid stuff like how the final boss isn't Dr. Wily or how you have to wall jump.

      Delete
    2. Knowing The Bores, I feel like he'd also say that X and the original Mega Man are one and the same, or even worse, mistake Zero for Protoman, like DSP did.

      I just hope to god IG never even considers tackling Mega Man X. This video was painful enough.

      Delete
  3. It's not weird..the game is notoriously hard...but that's the only "Bad" thing about it.

    It's not worth padding a 8 min video and faking deaths though.

    He's gotta stop doing good games, cause we, as real gamers know he's full of shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. didn't someone here predict that Bores was gonna do Mega Man years ago?

      Delete
    2. I was the one who speculated him doing Megaman, and sure enough he did and it was exactly as I envisioned it - incredibly stupid and bitching about the difficulty.

      I have a feeling though he's going through all the games that had characters in Captain N, so I can bet the farm Castlevania is next.

      Delete
  4. I just realized, he doesn't even mention boss weaknesses. What idiot talks about Mega Man, and doesn't bring up boss weaknesses? That's dumb even for him.

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  5. Wait, I just remember that he didn't show all the stages. Why, it will give him more thing to talk about and less unfunny joke

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  6. So you might notice that in the second half of the video, the music and sound effects sound really off. High chirps and beeps that sound awful and are not in the original soundtrack. Huh.

    It is worth noting that these sounds generally only happen if someone uses Game Genie with Megaman 1 or 2.
    Hmm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true! Just look at the TIHYDP of the first Mega Man. It sounds eerily similar, doesn't it?

      By the way, your icon's face shows exactly my reaction at this "review".
      ^-^

      Delete
  7. I'm not entirely sure, but I think he's using Game Genie when he's fighting Gutsman. He seems to be playing like shit, yet his health bar still remains full.

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    Replies
    1. Yep, totally right about the cheating. A user by the name CF-105 Games knew he was cheating for these reasons:

      1) When using game genie, the sounds and music get messed up
      2) His jumps are higher than normal
      3) During the Gutsman fight, he takes hits, but it doesn't deal any damage to his life bar.

      Delete
    2. Yeah, the whole high jump really confused me. I don't know how you can jump high in any Megaman game unless you're underwater (or in space in some levels). The fact that he had to cheat to get through the game is just pathetic.

      Delete
    3. Also, in this game, water doesn't make you jump like you're on the Moon, so that's another giveaway.
      ^-^

      Delete
  8. Holy s***, look at those jumps at the second half of the video: they're higher than usual! He's using Game Genie... again! Isn't there any game in which this fake doesn't cheat?

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    Replies
    1. Where is he doing the higher jumps? I'm working on a video riff and trying to spot them. I saw some possibly in the Guts Man stage where he's failing at the moving platforms.

      Delete
  9. hey guys,
    on channel awesome mike j is mocking the irate gamer at the end of his review of "Uncanny Valley". I was so surprised, it was so hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  10. (major facedesk)

    Why am I not fucking surprised that Boring Man would review Mega Man? It's like he's deliberately going to this blog and reading our comments and then making a review of it just to mess with us (and not in a very good way).

    I may not have beaten Mega Man (in fact, I've NEVER beaten a single NES game), but I know the game is supposed to be a classic, and I myself enjoy it. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that is the case. Ever since his Power Rangers SNES review, Irate Gamer has become a parody of himself. People like Third Rate Gamer used to make parody videos of him by bashing good games, which was something IG only did every once in a while yet caused the biggest outrage, but now it seems like he's doing it on purpose. Stay tuned for the LP video where he says "I don't really hate this game but I do think it's really hard and yeah it's hard".

      Delete
  11. What a coincidence: I was working on my own review of Mega Man for my blog. I wish I'd known what the Irate Gamer was doing or I'd have finished it by now. Anything to pre-empt that jerkass.

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  12. Just a point of interest- in the comments section a viewer asked where is season five episode 5? The previous IG episode was Spy Hunter which is labeled episode 4.

    Chris responded and said his latest History of Video Games installment is episode 5. So he now considers HoVG to be part of the IG show.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think Chris was motivated by the upcoming Mega Man Legacy Collection to cover the first game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm just surprised he didn't try shoving a Megaman amiibo in everyone's face at the beginning.

      Delete
  14. This guy has NO business even talking about megaman......

    Off topic. Remember that mark jones guy that came on here and ripped on IG for a while? he made a video today talking about asalieri and angry joe drama.,............ kind a random.............

    link if interested anybody.

    https://youtu.be/ITnZQEnbUlQ

    ReplyDelete
  15. Meter's surging.

    The catalyst will be CASTLEVANIA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heck, I imagine even Super Mario Bros. isn't safe.

      Delete
    2. I don't doubt Castlevania, since he's already done Kid Icarus and Punch-Out; and this is another one featured on his precious Captain N. I really didn't like how they stripped him of most of his powers and gave him a chain-smoker's voice. His own show fared little better, with terrible animation and writing compared to stuff like Batman, Superman, and X-Men. Don't even get me started on NT Warrior, either. My first reaction to the reboot cartoon by Man of Action is: "Please let it be good."

      Delete
  16. So am I the only one who doesn't get why the original Mega Man is considered to be legendarily difficult? I've beaten it a few times, and I didn't have THAT much more trouble with it than with 2-6. Hell, I don't even think the Yellow Devil is that difficult once you get its pattern down. The part near the end where you have to fight four of the Robot Masters in rapid succession with no health items after any of them is a lot harder than the Yellow Devil in my opinion.

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    Replies
    1. There's one aspect that can really screw you over.
      Lack of mercy invincibility on spikes.
      In all future games, if you get hit and land on spikes, you have a brief couple seconds to save yourself. Here it's instant.

      There's also the lack of support items. In MM2 there was Items 1, 2, and 3, and in MM3 onwards there was Rush. MM1 doesn't have that, the only one is the Magnet Beam.

      So I guess those are the reasons it's considered harder.

      Delete
    2. All that, plus there's no password system nor are there E-Tanks. If it wasn't for unlimited continues, you'd be fucked.

      Delete
    3. Funny thing, when I was a kid I started the series with 6, then 2. Managed 6 after a while, but 2 always kept kicking my ass (Never finished it). I moved onto 3 and 4 with no such luck. One day I borrowed the first game from a friend and steamrolled through it in one day. Even he thought it was easy!

      Fast forward a few years, I learn of this thing called emulation and I downloaded all the NES games. I replayed the first game and kept getting my ass kicked by the yellow devil. Even back then I was confused as to how my younger self was able to kill this thing no problem.

      Ah memories....

      Delete
    4. I'm working on Wily's Castle, having trouble with this one jumping puzzle. That said; I'm a man that takes the difficulty as a motivation to keep playing, rather than a deterrent like Bores. This video was almost as bad as DSP's Let's Play (my first reaction to seeing it was, "Hello new target practice!").

      Delete
  17. Oh, BTW...

    HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!! :D :D :D

    (plays Star-Spangled Banner)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Batdan can you please just shut up about Capcom hating Megaman. They do not, if they did they would never have announced that collection of the first 6 games they are releasing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They just put Ryu in the newest Smash Bros. when Mega Man is already in the game. Capcom does officially hate Mega Man.

      Delete
    2. I wouldn't look at it that way! Mega Man is still in the game, for starters, and it's nice that he and Ryu can either fight each other or work together.

      Then again, it's all a matter of opinion.
      ^-^

      Delete
    3. Oh boy, Hi Invisible Crane, how you were doing after stop tried to being eric's shoe polisher huh?

      are you seriously gonna white knight capcom just like that turd randomdce tried to do back in the day, oh yeah, that worked so well for him in the past.

      why do you have the entitlement of defending the bad guys?

      Delete
    4. Hello Invisible Crane, still kissing Bores's ass and being a frog in a well?

      Delete
    5. Legacy Collection is a blatant cash grab. The most obvious indicator of this is the fact that it has fewer games than 2004's Mega Man Anniversary Collection. A sixth-generation-era collection, mind you.

      Delete
  19. releasing the MM Legacy collection is just another cash grab.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sheesh! This imbecile releases a review of the first game when I started playing Mega Man 9? And seriously, is he even trying anymore at this point? I wonder if Monday (or Tuesday) would be another "Let's Play"... or rather, a "Let's Bore the Audience with commentary and skills that would give DSP a run for his money.

    As for me, well, I'm planning to play the Megaman World games (except the 2nd one). I just finished 9 and Xtreme 2. (Sorry for this ridiculously long post)
    -_-

    ReplyDelete
  21. Can someone explain how bad Capcom has screwed over Mega Man?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First, due to poor management, Keiji Inafune, creator of Megaman left Capcom.

      Second, when they first announced Megaman Legends 3, it got people excited. But when Capcom see that the number of people who support the third game 'isn't enough' and that there are some peophe who felt that the main features Capcom include in the third game 'sound fishy', Capcom immediately cancel Megaman Legends 3. Basically, Capcom said "Oh, you guys don't support Megaman Legends 3 enough? SCREW YOU GUYS! No third game for you guys then!"

      Third, they add Zero and Tron Bonne in Marvel VS Capcom 3 but NOT Megaman. They set up a poll for the fans asking which characters they want to see in Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3. After Inafune, Megaman never appear in UMVC3 at all. Capcom claim that Megaman never made it into the top three. That's bullshit because people took a screenshot of the poll results before it was taken down that Megaman IS FIRST PLACE.

      Delete
    2. Also, they cancelled two other upcoming Mega Man games, Mega Man Universe (basically a suped-up version of Mega Man Powered Up's Construction Mode) and Rockman Online (which was going to feature characters from both the X series and the Classic series).

      Delete
    3. At least we have Mighty No. 9 and I think Red Ash to continue the spirit of Mega Man while Capcom sits down, does nothing and claim to be one of the best companies in gaming.

      Delete
  22. New video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-4sEnqBgjg

    ReplyDelete
  23. Dang, just when I thought he couldn't get any worse...

    Oh well, atleast I'm not the only person who's still excited for MN9 and thinks Legacy Collection is just a shameless cash grab

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think they should have released all 10 games (with 7 and 8 being 8-bit).

      Delete
    2. @MacDragard
      Nah, that would be a good idea. And as we all know, Video Games need to be nothing but the exact same game rereleased 30 times on the same systems in order to survive.

      Delete
    3. Part of me definitely wishes Capcom isn't run by total morons right now; but I'd be willing to play those games again (even with 8's infamously bad voice acting) and Mighty No.9.

      Delete
  24. I can't wait for him to do Mega Man X and see a review for that.

    Oh wait....*zips up mouth*

    Mmmm-mmmm (never mind!)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Upcoming reviews:
    *the Batman (NES, negative)
    *Super Mario Bros. "Smash" 3 (NES, negative)
    *Pac-Man 2600 ("arade", positive)
    *Pixels (Film, positive)
    *Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric ("Wii", greatest game ever made)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Congratulations on having a blog that is now six years old! And yet somehow, Bores still sucks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look on the bright side, at least his fandom is dying.

      Delete
    2. To be fair, I don't even think his fandom could even qualify to be deemed a fandom...more like a hive.

      Delete
    3. Or just a bunch of lobotomized 9 year olds.

      Delete
    4. Nah, that's being to kind. His fans straight out pray to him.

      Delete
  27. He just posted a toy review. This time it's actually a recent toy.

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    Replies
    1. Only got 40 seconds in before cutting it off.

      Delete
  28. So, what does anyone here think about the rumors concerning the NX not competing with the PS4 in power?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt it. Several third-parties have been confirmed to be on-board with the system. So unless the system somehow makes up for all of that there's no way this could be true.

      Delete
    2. Just out of curiosity, which 3rd party companies are on board with it?

      Delete
    3. They haven't said, though they are apperantly big news if the reports are anything to go off of.

      Delete
  29. Any gamer worth their salt would know that the words “badass military man” are never used to describe the abomination that is the original box art. It frequently tops worst box art lists and its terribleness was even acknowledged in a documentary of the series (Think it was in the GC port of Mega Man Anniversary Collection).

    Congrats Batdan on six years!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That infamous cover often brings to mind more of some guy drunk in a bad Power Rangers costume in front of a Rainforest Café that appears to have been designed by Roger Dean (the man who did the album covers for the band Yes). Even 9 and 10 mocked it; and those were PSN/XBLA/eShop games!

      Delete
    2. The early (and the later 9 and 10) Mega Man box art reminds me of the artwork on 80s Sci Fi novels. Especially this: http://lparchive.org/Mega-Man-2/Images/12-megaman2-europe.png

      Delete
    3. And that piece of shit box art Mega Man ended up being a playable character in SFxT. Sure PAC-MAN in that game fought with some Mokujin robot rather than with his own abilities, but at least he looks/acts like he is supposed to and his height makes it understandable for him to fight with the robot in the first place.

      Delete
    4. Can't believe Irate Gamer actually called the ugly fatass on the boxart as a 'military badass'. He really needs to take off his blindfold and give a second look.

      Delete
    5. I can just imagine his thoughts on this:
      http://cdn3.spong.com/pack/p/a/pacman187293l/_-Pac-Man-Atari-400-800-XL-XE-_.jpg

      Delete
    6. When looking at that official artwork, I must honestly say that I have no idea what the fuck is going on in that image.

      Delete
    7. Well, okay, I know it's supposed to be a game of PAC-MAN, but...look at it.

      Delete
    8. I can't decide if it's better or worse than this:

      http://intvfunhouse.com/cbs/box/dk-020.jpg

      Delete
    9. That documentary is indeed from the Gamecube version of Anniversary Collection, and is also in the Xbox version.

      Delete
    10. Indeed, went searching on Youtube for it and found that it's less of a documentary and more of an interview with creator Keiji Inafune. Still good stuff though!

      Apparently the box art was a rush job. The guy in charge of marketing at the time asked a friend to whip something up in 6 hours. The results speak for themselves. If yer curious, here's a link to the whole thing.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8cJPAfIwwo

      Delete
    11. On the Donkey Kong picture, Mario looks like Tony Stark.

      Delete
    12. Iron Man carrying Thor's hammer.

      Delete
  30. Minions Mega Blocks. With this, there's a solid bet Friday might be the actual movie review (I expect his usual incompetence; and the movie to be consistent with the Looney Tunes-like antics and celebrity ensembles Illumination is building their name on). I plan on going; since I like the actors involved and it should be fun to see these little Twinkies go through the era of Jimi Hendrix and ugly sweaters. Till then, Dan, I'll be watching Dark City yet again before I move.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Unrelated question, but what type of batteries are good for a video game controller (Wii)?

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    1. In general, don't use any batteries marketed as "heavy duty". Those are usually zinc chloride and are really more designed for low-drain devices (i.e. TV remotes). Really, you can't go wrong with bog-standard alkaline.

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    2. And rechargeable batteries don't sound like a bad idea if you're going to be playing with the Wiimote a lot.

      Delete
  32. Angry Joe uploaded his Arkham Knight review. Let's hope he builds an angry Batman fanboy shelter.

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  33. The views on the Mega Blocks review are just sad. He's being beaten by some guys that think one of the Happy Meal premiums swears if you push the button fast enough (like that urban legend about the talking Pikachu figure). Personally, I'd be hard-pressed to make heads or tails of their Simlish; but the movie should be fun. Certainly not going to let Boring Man drag it down if he does look at it today.

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  34. New movie review. Inside Out.

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    1. Naturally, I was imagining Lewis Black's Anger within moments at Boring Man's insane editing and the same Tommy Wiseau-caliber acting as the Splatoon review. Not going to let him drag me down; since that's my favorite movie of the summer, and possibly the year so far.

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    2. Why was he talking like the Micro Machines man?

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    3. As terrible and horribly edited this "review" was, its not as bad as this review of Inside Out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXC_205E3Og . Bores' review was short.

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    4. Saying that Bores is on Tommy Wiseau's level is being way too mean...to Tommy Wiseau. At least he doesn't think that making faces, spazzing out an screaming random shit at the top of your lungs qualifies as comedy.

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    5. This is just fucking annoying. It seems like he's being all "wacky and crazy" without any rhyme or reason.

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    6. Ultimate: massive disagreement from me on the other I/O review. 1) It has a cogent opinion backed by lots of information as well as footage from I/O and other Pixar films. 2) It's properly written and executed, and 3) It went online NINE DAYS in advance of the movie's release, not three weeks after when everyone has heard about it, knows that it's good and has moved on to this weekend's releases. (There's a whole other animated family film out today.)

      Bores' stuff is not in the league of this other review.

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  35. I watched the Inside Out review. I typed up a bit, but looking over it, I don't think it's enough material. I'll include it next week's post.
    But it was a fucking dreadful video.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I didn't even get a minute in before I decided to watch some clips of the movie to detox. Guess I was wrong about Minions; but that would have made sense after the Mega Blocks review, and Chris isn't known for that. See you Tuesday, Dan.

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    2. Tried to watch the Minions review. So. Freaking. Boring!

      As for his Inside Out review... guess what two color emotions I am right now after seeing it?

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    3. You know, at this point, I really do think Bores thinks his fans are complete morons. He has to always point out the obvious, he always says things like "pwned" to anyone who disagrees with the video and supports and encourages his fans to act like immature fanboys in the comments section, and he thinks that just by being hyperactive and random, they will always find him funny.

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    4. I'm not saying that his fans aren't complete morons of course, just that he knows that they are.

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    5. I commented that the video gave me a headace, to which Ladybuggin' replied "hahahaha"

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    6. Thankfully, my comment is still up-- no response though. It's where I told Bores that Riley, being an 11-year old, is technically not a teenager, that some of the voices had done other works besides the stuff he mentioned (not even bringing up Spin City's Richard Kind as breakout character Bing Bong), how said voices would like to have a word with him for playing their characters horribly (jokingly, of course!), and that the "small city" Riley came from before moving to San Francisco was Minneapolis, which is anything but small.

      Also has comments from Save-State Gamer trying to defend Bores and failing. :D

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    7. Does he say something like "I know this is for kids"?

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    8. He said it was a dumb concept that was only executed well because it was handled Pixar. Ugh...

      Also, what is with Bores's obsession with Smurfs?

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    9. Maybe he thinks they're some kind of good luck charm?

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    10. I haven't watched Inside Out yet (The movie comes out on 27th August in my country) but I can already tell that even before I watch it, Bores's review will be painful to watch afterwards.

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  36. I can just imagine that he will eventually run out of nitpicks and will just decide to literally review LIFE. His only joke would be him acting like life isn't perfect while making it clear he actually thinks it is flawless. This is assuming someone doesn't just sue him soon or he quits.

    Knowing Bores, he would likely give up next year and try to defend it as an "April Fools" video despite it being released in February.

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    Replies
    1. The moment Bores his rock bottom is when he uploads a video saying-

      "WAH! Stop watching AVGN's (or anyone else's) videos and watch mine! They're so much better!"

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    2. Where and when? Video please? (That AVGN acknowledgement video doesn't count)

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    3. I think he's referencing the e-begging "spoof" video, if I'm not mistaken.

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    4. Meh. I don't really think that counts either. I was thinking more on the notion of Bores uploading a video where he rages against everyone for watching AVGN's vids etc.

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  37. At least his fans are acknowledging that the Inside Out video is shit. I'm surprised one person was even able to point out why it wasn't really a review at all. Also, the LadyBuggin comments are just so fucking desperate.

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  38. As a movie reviewer myself, I'd like to "review" that Inside Out review.

    "Inside Out Pixar Movie Review | The Irate Cinema"

    Cast
    Chris Bores (Irate Cinema)

    Review
    You really can't review a movie in 2:19 without a quick voice, can't you Chris? Also, you're starting to resemble a blowfish. Our first problem is the cutaways. They distract from what should be a (quick) look into a movie. Maybe I should've read the description: "Welcome to the wacky Irate Cinema Movie reviews! This mad reviewer has a split personality. This time more personalities enter into the fray as Inside out is reviews!" He's really stretching the bounds of "Irate", isn't he? It reminds me of when the AVGN reviewed TMNT III, though in that, he dubbed himself the Angry Movie Nerd. Irate Cinema makes even less sense than Irate Pick, but honestly you could've just called "Chris Reviews: Inside Out" instead of "Inside Out Pixar Movie Review | The Irate Cinema". Less complex, but this is from a man that thought Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels was the "perfect predecessor to the first Mario game"

    Anyway...What is with the filters? It's not that they distract from the review, it's that they don't add anything to the review. I understand the idea of trying to act like the five emotions from the movie...but it comes off more like a deranged madman in a psyche ward (with posters) talking to himself.

    While it true that the movie has some psychology, having a skit where the "mini-yous" argue over if it has philosophy and mythology is pointless.

    He describes the plot in a way that could be described as...stupid. It seems that he either likes yelling, or has never heard of inside voicing. It's a review, not a hearing exam. Also, he doesn't like ANY of the "mini-yous", even failing as Anger. He displays a fake type of anger that is still evident even after...eight years. Also, Minneapolis is not a small city, in fact it (according to Wikipedia) is the 14th largest combined Combined Statistical Area in the US. Granted, the San Fran area is 5th. Still, his plot summary sucks. This is why sometimes it's better to just talk about the movie and how it is and not delve into a summary because it can veer off course, and it can be easy for a viewer to pick up the flaws. Or as you call them, flawls. But hey, it's not like you have a website where you could publish a text review.

    FYI: When saying spoilers in a movie review, DON'T YELL IT OUT LIKE A DOOFUS. Kindly say that you will say some stuff in your review that may be important in the beginning of the review. Or, if you do text reviews, make the spoiler-rific text be the same color as the background.

    You reviewed a movie that was released three weeks ago. Why? Hell, I did it three days after release, and I thought I was late.

    When reviewing a movie, why do you need to end on that silly phrase "Game On"? It has no relevance to the review, and makes you seem like a shill. Granted, I make references to other reviews in my reviews, but I never try to incorporate a catch phrase. Or advertise reviews of "crazy stuff like those little toys from McDonalds" in a movie review. Also, "style of reviewing"? Skits do not make a review, it's the view on the movie that is the main key. Skits can work, but they shouldn't distract from the main view.

    Lastly, this review tells you nothing that anyone else could have told you on video, newspapers, Rotten Tomatoes, or on a blog. I'd stay to stick to video games, but you suck there too.

    Overall, I give "it" 0 out of 10 stars.

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  39. Sad news - Satoru Iwata has passed away. http://kotaku.com/nintendos-president-has-passed-away-1717386412

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  40. Let me summarize the worst moments of 2015 for Bores so far:

    10.) Bores' Spy Hunter review

    9.) Bores' Mario Party 10 review

    8.) Tie between Bores' DuckTales and Punch-Out reviews

    7.) Bores' review of LED lights

    6.) History of blah part 7 (1978 arcade games)

    5.) Bores trying to sell Geoff Hassing's drawings from the Irate Gamer Game and making money off of it without crediting him

    4.) Bores' "Crazy" reviews of Splatoon and Inside Out

    3.) Boring Let's Plays of DuckTales, Kid Icarus, and Punch-Out

    2.) Bores' treating Mega Man like crap. I still think he did it because we were talking about how he better not touch that game and he saw our comments and messed with us (and not in a good way).

    1.) Bores tweeting that he wants to "jump off of a rooftop" after learning the Ghostbusters reboot would have an all-female cast... despite criticizing Justin Carmical for committing suicide a year ago

    0.) Bores doing a tribute video for Leonard Nimoy... ending with a plea for subscribers. And trying to profit off of his death...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't forget e-begging for amiibos in his amiibo video.

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    2. Good point!

      Updated:

      11.) Bores' Spy Hunter review

      10.) Bores' Mario Party 10 review

      9.) Tie between Bores' DuckTales and Punch-Out reviews

      8.) Bores' review of LED lights

      7.) E-begging for Amiibos roughly three years after making a "spoof" video to mock James Rolfe

      6.) History of blah part 7 (1978 arcade games)

      5.) Bores trying to sell Geoff Hassing's drawings from the Irate Gamer Game and making money off of it without crediting him

      4.) Bores' "Crazy" reviews of Splatoon and Inside Out

      3.) Boring Let's Plays of DuckTales, Kid Icarus, and Punch-Out

      2.) Bores' treating Mega Man like crap. I still think he did it because we were talking about how he better not touch that game and he saw our comments and messed with us (and not in a good way).

      1.) Bores tweeting that he wants to "jump off of a rooftop" after learning the Ghostbusters reboot would have an all-female cast... despite criticizing Justin Carmical for committing suicide a year ago

      0.) Bores doing a tribute video for Leonard Nimoy... ending with a plea for subscribers. And trying to profit off of his death...

      Delete
  41. Can that old fart fuck off out of YouTube already?
    He'll never learn...

    ReplyDelete