What's this, a post on a Monday?!
Yep, got some pretty big news.
For those that don't remember: Some time in 2014, Bores reported on Facebook that he would be appearing in a movie (and stroked his ego on how he got the most lines). We've heard nothing about this for months until March 2015 when he revealed the movie's name. Gore Orphanage, based on an urban legend in Ohio.
Brought to us by young production company Principalities of Darkness. Known for schlock like Breeding Farm (which looked really gross) and Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies (which should be awesome, but I doubt it is. It's also one of Roddy Piper's final movies. RIP), I expected that Gore Orphanage would be just like that. Direct-to-DVD garbage.
Months passed, no news, no announcements, nothing from Bores. Sometime last month I got curious and looked it up. Turns out the movie came out in July! Yeah, that slipped by. Why hasn't Bores mentioned this? Well, there's likely a good answer.
Long-time reader of the site d4iven was also curious about the movie, also learning it came out in July. He watched it and found the truth.
Bores isn't in the movie!
Yeah, he got cut out. That is golden!
It was probably late in production as the movie's end credits still list Chris Bores. But he's nowhere to be seen, and he watched the whole thing. I tried watching it, but holy crap it was boring. Boring boring boring. Fitting that Bores was almost in it.
So, what happened? Who knows really? Movies cut characters and scenes all the time. A notable recent example was Shailene Woodley as Mary Jane Watson in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, all her filmed scenes were cut.
Perhaps the director felt the scene didn't fit with the rest of the movie? Perhaps a producer looked up Chris Bores and saw he was a controversial figure and wanted him out? Either way, it will probably remain a secret. ... Unless I contact Principalities of Darkness to try and get an answer. They've only got a Facebook page but it's worth a shot.
If you want to watch the movie yourself (good luck), it's on Amazon Prime Streaming.
EDIT: Or at least it was, it's not anymore. You now have to pay money for it.
This news also makes me question the legitimacy of his claim that he's going to be on Hardcore Pawn. Granted, he still brings up that he appeared on HP where as his intended appearance in Gore Orphanage hasn't been mentioned since March. That makes me think Bores already knew he was cut. Hmmm...
There's so much irony in Bores bragging that he got the most lines back when he announced this. You can actually feel the weight of it.
EDIT:
I just got a response from Principalities of Darkness.
Seems the scene was cut due to bad weather. But it still slightly exists in the movie. After the credits roll (implying anyone would bother to watch them), there's a quick scene that shows a pair of ghostly girls screaming, then a group of people running away. Their backs are to the camera and the picture quality is horrendous. So I suppose Bores is in that shot of people running, but you can't even tell.
So I'm only partially right in that he was cut from the movie. My mistake. To be fair, this is the type of movie where you don't bother to see if they have an extra scene after the credits.
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In his Skylanders videos he sounded more depressed so maybe this is a reason why, plus his low selling critically panned book.
ReplyDeletehe's sad because all the yummy mummy cereal was sold out in stores
DeleteLets face it, breakfast is ruined.
DeleteMaybe he changed the script and mentioned on camera that he was once the 55th most subscribed channel on all of YouTube.
ReplyDeleteGiven his monstrous ego, that's probably what happened.
DeleteGod, "The Amazing Spider-Man 2" sucked hard. Sure it was a setup movie, but now it's a setup to nothing. Thanks, Andrew Garfield.
ReplyDeleteI don't really care what the Nostalgia Critic says I like the first franchise more. Sure all five movies have silly moments but like with the last franchise each film is gonna get worse and worse.
DeleteDon't blame Andrew Garfield, he was actually one of the better aspects of those movies.
DeleteBlame those hacks Kurtzman and Orci.
No, Garfield was fine, and I wasn't talking about the quality of the film. What I was referring to was the fact that Andrew Garfield just didn't show up for this one event for the the movie, so the producers, director, Sony, whoever decided to just axe the series altogether. I was blaming Garfield for the fact that the Amazing Spider-Man 2 is now a setup film for nothing at all.
DeleteAnd you are right, BatDan. Garfield was one of the best parts of the movie.
DeleteAndrew Garfield is a great actor. I dare say I like Garfield's portrayal as Peter Parker and Spiderman more than Tobey MaGuire. Don't get me wrong, I still love the Sam Raimi films but Garfield does an excellent job in portraying Peter Parker/Spiderman more such as the emotions he felt when Uncle Ben got killed and trying to cope with his death and how he is partially responsible for it.
DeleteYeah, I blame Kurtzman and Orci too, BatDan.
Garfield tried; and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was decidedly less than. I guess I've really been spoiled with how The Dark Knight Saga and the Marvel Cinematic Universe have been doing things. I don't know how Marvel's reboot will do when 2014 definitely showed me more of what a superhero film can do with The Winter Soldier, X-Men Days of Future Past and especially Guardians of the Galaxy. That hacking scandal didn't help matters, nor did that incoherent script. Guess I'll have to see what Captain America Civil War plans to do with Spidey even if they'll inevitably have to make changes. If anything, I have more confidence in Anthony and Joe Russo than I ever did with Marc Webb.
Deleteit's so amusing how he has such an ego.
ReplyDeleteI mean it's one thing being confident, it's another to be so egotistical.
Infamous Chris Bores white-knight Constantine Chernobyl was the same fucking way, before he did the smart thing and fucked off for good.
DeleteThe first two Spider-Man movies were great to me. The third was meh, Amazing 1 was okay, and Amazing 2 had its moments but I was rather disappointed on R.H.I.N.O not having enough screen time and shook my head in disgust on Electro's origins. I was a bit impressed on the whole Sinister Six teaser until, I think, it was announced that the Amazing series was cancelled.
ReplyDeleteYep, that about sums up my feelings towards the Spider-Man films as well. This whole cyberterrorism scandal with Sony probably didn't help either; but since TASM2 barely made a fraction of the prior films, it's understandable how they're rebooting the character again under Marvel's own studio; using his key role in Captain America: Civil War as a springboard. I just hope that it's good in an age where Iron Man and Star Lord can sell tickets and impress me the way Spidey used to.
DeleteDo you think he's aware of this? Maybe someone should ask him on YouTube.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he is, but won't admit it. He'll probably say some nonsensical ramble about him being a movie star or something
DeleteHe reads this blog.
I was kind of hoping Chris would say that what he did on the film was so shocking that the director had to cut that part out of the movie to get an R rating.
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for that Plan 9 remake to come out online since James Rolfe has a leading role in that but geez, the director doesn't give any updates on any future releases like cmon!
ReplyDeleteLooking it up, a trailer was released last February, but nothing after that.
DeleteApparently it's now on DVD but only in australia at the moment, James hasn't said anything about it other than some videos of behind the scenes and photo of his character.
DeleteI'm still waiting to here about Shooting Clerks. I know he, and according to the people making the film, Mike Mattei, are both supposed to be in the movie.
DeleteHaven't heard anything in a while about it though.
The Kindle version of Ghost Hunting 2.0 has dropped another two dollars. It is now $3.99 with an original launch price of $7.99.
ReplyDeleteit's like Irate Gamer the Game all over again.
DeleteAnd even then, it's still a rip-off!
Delete-_-
Rise of the Tomb Raider is going to have 300 micro transactions. The gaming industry is officially on the verge of death.
ReplyDeleteI know I said this countless times already, but what else can I say?: We are truly in the Dark Age of Gaming!
Delete-_-
And people wonder why so much ground is being lost to the mobile market.
DeleteAt least they won't be in the single player. I've heard the multiplayer in TR2013 was a bit crap, so I doubt many people will even try it in this one.
DeleteWhile we're at it, I would like to give my two pence worth on Square-Enix's vision of Tomb Raider:
DeleteOne of the main problems with Tomb Raider 2013 (which I have played and beaten) is that it's a story-focused game, and the story is bland. The old Tomb Raider games (including Legend, Anniversary, and Underworld) didn't have this problem because their focus wasn't on story, it was on gameplay. The old Lara Croft was just a cypher, and for that her characterization worked well, as she was a two-dimenisonal James Bond/Indiana Jones archetype. That was a great approach because it allowed Core Design and Crystal Dynamics (back when they were Eidos' umbrella) to put the level design first... the real star of the early Tomb Raider games were the levels themselves, not Lara.
By contrast, the star of Tomb Raider 2013 is the insipid and cliche storyline, and the gameplay takes a backseat. That alone makes it a poor game, without getting into many of its other problems. That's why I think Tomb Raider 2013 is the weakest in the series.
On that note, my favourite Tomb Raider game is Tomb Raider Anniversary. I mean, sure it has its flaws, such as the jumping accuracy being wobbly at times, but Tomb Raider Anniversary is, was, and will always be one of the better video-game remakes, right up there with the 2002 GameCube remake of Resident Evil 1.
Besides, Tomb Raider 2013 doesn't even have New Game Plus, and the new Lara can't even swim (at least, not until Rise of the Tomb Raider), both of which completely ruin it for me!
I watched scenes of Gore Orphanage and...wow...it looks REALLY cheap. This is something you watch on Youtube, not a retail DVD/Blu-Ray disc!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I tried to find the full movie in other sites but the only reason why I want to is because I just want to skip to the after-credits. Unfortunately though, I can't find the full version. The movie is 89 minutes but only 77 minutes of the film are uploaded in every movie streaming site I see. So unfortunately, I can't skip after the credits and try to spot Chris.
I'm not sure that i'm allowed to post the exact link but the movie streaming site that I watched it on was called solarmovie. I hope that helps. Upon reading this article, I checked the scene after the ending credits and could not make out the bores.
DeleteForgive me for being a little preachy, but why resort to piracy just to not see Bores in a movie?
DeleteWe criticize Bores for stealing intellectual property. We've criticized people for pirating the AVGN movie. Many followers of this blog are content creators. I think promoting pirate sites on this blog sets a double-standard.
I don't think anyone in their right mind would pay to watch this movie. Have you seen the trailer? This is not a company you'd wanna support with your hard earned money. Some of the acting seemed like it was phoned in from a different planet. If anything, I feel like they owed me money for watching it.
DeletePoor quality doesn't justify theft. Just don't watch it at all.
Deletelol It's the real world, everybody does it. At least I pay for content that's worth purchasing. Preach to the ones that don't.
ReplyDeleteNintendo is releasing digital bundles for both the Wii U and the 3DS Smash Bros games. Each version will contain DLC packs 1 through 3 and the Wii U version will cost $99.99 while the 3DS version will cost $79.99. Where do I even begin with this nonsense?
ReplyDeleteFirst off, they're not even including the latest DLC pack, which contains newer Mii fighting costumes and the Pirate Ship and Mario Maker stages. Sure, you could argue that it's too soon to put it into a bundle, but if DLC Pack #4 was released before the one year anniversary of the 3DS version, why not include it?
Second, the DLC included in this bundle costs as much as one copy of the 3DS version of the game, making the price of the 3DS bundle double of what you would pay for the 3DS version without the DLC. And seeing how this isn't even including the 4th DLC pack, the DLC for Smash 3DS officially costs more than the game itself (and with the Smash Ballot practically guaranteeing more characters in the future, it will most likely even cost more than the Wii U version by itself eventually).
Third, why release these bundles when more DLC is obviously coming? These editions of the game with DLC are typically something you do when the game is just about done with content. Smash will be alive for many years after this, so why waste time preparing these bundles now.
Fourth, and most importantly, why the fuck do the prices of these bundles even cost AS MUCH as each version of the game with the respective DLC combined? Isn't the whole point of a bundle to save money? Then why isn't it something like $69.99 or $79.99 for the Wii U and $49.99 or $59.99 for the 3DS, especially since more content is going to be added in the future undoubtedly? You're not even saving $5 with either of these. You're not even saving $2. How Nintendo? How do you not understand how GOTY editions of games work? Are you this stuck in the past that you can't even understand a simple concept like this that has been used for years in the gaming industry now? This is Capcom, if not, BEYOND Capcom levels of bullshit! CAPCOM LEVELS!!!
Sorry, just had to vent about this baffling discovery.
wtf...
Delete...sad thing is people will buy it, and it will show that it's okay to charge that much...
That's exactly what got us to this bullshit with micro transactions in Triple A games.
DeleteCough, $2.50 horse armor in Oblivion, cough
DeleteSource on this news?
Deletehttp://www.nintendolife.com/news/2015/10/super_smash_bros_digital_complete_pack_combines_game_and_dlc_for_wii_u_and_3ds
Delete"This is Capcom, if not, BEYOND Capcom levels of bullshit! CAPCOM LEVELS!!!" So, it's Konami levels of bullshit then?
DeleteI definitely buy the home schooled notion someone posited about Chris. I'm a writer, I work with artists, singers etc. My best friend has sold 10 million albums and he and everyone I know who is creative are people wracked with self doubt, always worrying about what they can do next and whether it will do great or bomb. Chris Bores is one of the most self assured 'content creators (*cough* duplicators *cough*) I have ever stumbled upon. And his main boast remains that he was 55th most subscribed YT channel back when YT was nowhere near as big as it is now, and through no greater an act than shamelessly plagiarising somebody else's successful content.
ReplyDeleteWhat has he done lately? Modestly viewed Skylanders videos where he unboxes figures, names them and declares them to be "coo" and "awsom" and a book that hasn't sold 30 copies. How has he not realised that he doesn't have a fanbase yet? What makes his colossal ego so goddamn bloated that he can declare he has 'invented a new branch of psychology' and outdone successful Paranormal TV shows and writers? Because it sure as hell isn't his sales figures. Someone is stroking his ego and he's buying it. Big time.
It's currently 1:28AM Ohio Time, and nothing. See you all Friday; I might be going to see Crimson Peak this weekend. It looks really great.
ReplyDeleteFYI Bores is going to be on Coast to Coast AM tonight discussing "ghosts".
ReplyDeleteHo boy; I wonder what's going to happen if they try to call bullshit on his methods. Probably try to cover his ass to keep being a discount Peter Venkman.
DeleteEhh, C2CAM isn't really that type of show. The host George Noory basically lets guests come on and gives pretty softball type interviews, which is why Bores is doing it. Though I'm shocked he was able to considering Bores is small time even by C2CAM standards.
DeleteDude, do you hate Bores that much?
ReplyDeleteA new round of the Chris Bores drinking game! Listen to the Coast to Coast segment and drink a shot of hard liquor if Chris Bores says:
ReplyDeleteGhost hunting has hit a wall
New branch of psychology
Tibetan Book of the Dead
Quantum physics
He once had the 55th most subscribed channel on all of YouTube
90 minute conversation with the dead
Ghost Hunting 2.0
Surpassing Grant Wilson at the St. Augustine Lighthouse
Bores Spirit Classification System
Discarnate Psychology
Spirits can develop new emotions after death
(Add your own!)
Two new book reviews on amazon. One from a reader offended by the arrogance of Bores. The other a 4 star review from someone who didn't read it but wants to know if the book is really so bad.
ReplyDeleteso there's now a James & Mike Mondays Blu-Ray....really? I sure as hell wasn't expecting that. How are they able to do this since the videos aren't reviews that can be under fair use for educational purposes? game grumps might as well do the same thing
ReplyDeleteNah, the Gane Grumps already have Starbomb as their cash grab. All their mindless sheep will love every song they write no matter how cringey/unfunny/uninspired it is.
DeleteFrom The Borester's Facebook page yesterday: "Wow the Kindle version of my book Ghost Hunting 2.0 has reached #21 on Amazon's best selling paranormal books list today." Looks like he has a new numerical accomplishment to mention alongside of his "55th most subscribed channel on YT in 2010" acheivment.
ReplyDeleteChris should look up the term "Overly Narrow Superlative"
DeleteI can't find a list in the Kindle section that is titled "paranormal." I made it to the occult section and checked ghosts & haunted houses, parapsychology and spiritualism and didn't see his book in the #21 slot. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_pg_3?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A133140011%2Cn%3A%21133141011%2Cn%3A154606011%2Cn%3A158280011%2Cn%3A158503011&page=3&bbn=158280011&ie=UTF8&qid=1445008414
DeleteI don't doubt his book made it to #21 on some list. Did he happen to include a link? I am curious about the other books on that list.
He posted a new FB post (thought I'd use some Boresian redundancy) today. He shows a screencap from Amazon, his book is now 14, 18, and 18 on 3 separate genre best seller lists. 2 are for kindle and 1 is actually for books. Here is a link to his FB: https://www.facebook.com/chris.bores.94
DeleteThe lists on the product page are the best I could find. I will give him kudos for these numbers as I did not expect them to reach even that high. Congratulations, Chris.
ReplyDeleteAmazon Best Sellers Rank: #53,527 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
#51 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Occult & Paranormal > Ghosts & Hauntings
#80 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Occult & Paranormal > Supernatural
#2087 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > New Age & Spirituality
I just got my Steam Controller!
ReplyDeleteWorks so busy now, I hope I have a chance to try it out soon. I'm likely going to start developing games with this controller in mind, as it might become the new PC/Mac standard.
I really do find it disgusting that people are giving his book positive reviews solely out of pity. One guy wrote a 4-star review where he said that he's wondering if the book and Bores are really as bad as people make them out to be, and that he's willing to give the book a fair shot. If you're going to give the book a fair chance, at least write your fucking review AFTER you actually read it. And Keith Janksi, for fuck's sake, please take down your pity review.
ReplyDeleteYeah, a review (positive or negative) from someone who hasn't read the book is hardly a "fair shot".
DeleteBores felt a legit negative review had to be libeled as one from a non-reader. If he really cared about the integrity of his reviews, he'd likewise call out the positive reviewers who actually are non-readers.
+1 on Kieth to take down his review.
Don't forget that Bores himself reviewed Arkham Knight while only reading about half of it.
DeleteWas looking at Bores's fb post about his book and someone commented about the bad reviews and chris replied http://imgur.com/yaAeGIA
ReplyDelete"The ones that are real, yup." So in other words, all the negative ones that actually qualify as reviews.
DeleteWhat a shithead!
DeleteHey, Chris. I know you read this. I still have your book on my tablet with all of the notes I made while reading it. I would love to go over any part of the book or my review of it if you don't think it is real.
You don't have the guts for that but my offer stands.
OT: Anyone else see the Angry Birds trailer? I think we may have a new contender for the worst video game movie ever. Usually, I consider animation to be better suited than live-action for video games (Pokémon, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children Complete and especially Wreck-It Ralph); but it looks like a low-grade Disney knockoff. Finally, let it be known that I hate Jason Sudeikis and don't consider him leading man material; even for a cartoon bird (he's pretty much the poor man's Seth Rogen to me; someone you get when David Koechner says no).
ReplyDeleteYou have to give the FNAF movie credit. At least it's trying to take risks and be different by using real animatronics instead of CGI ones.
DeleteAt least the Ratchet and Clank one looks decent; nicely capturing the games' style of humor and having the games' VAs to match some animation that actually looks good. Also, Patrick Warburton as Captain Quark captures his persona perfectly.
DeleteHow exactly can one make a movie about Angry Birds? Nothing in that game shows any indication for a movie! Is Hollywood really running out of ideas?
DeleteAlso, who's Jason Sudeikis?
-_-
Jason Sudeikis was a cast member on SNL from 2005 to 2013, and he was a writer for SNL beforehand starting in 2003.
DeleteHas he voice acted before?
Deleteo_o
Yes, he's Holt Richter on The Cleveland Show.
DeleteOr he WAS, anyway, as The Cleveland Show got cancelled 2 years ago. I really don't understand why Seth McFarland decided to make The Cleveland Show. "Hey, I should take the least interesting character on my dying cartoon and give him his own show exactly like that dying cartoon." At this point, American Dad is Seth McFarland's best show and his only show that comes close to being decent. At least it actually has an identity outside of being a clone of another cartoon and at least it doesn't rely solely on cutaways for humor.
DeleteMy Best Buy FINALLY got its big amiibo restock today. I snagged Marth and Lucario for myself and Fox for my cousin.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy, Hunter. I'm probably getting into this hunt when I get a Wii U or the NFC reader (possibly upgrading to the New XL, since my 3DS is starting to get touchy); since it's clear for those ones and others, demand has outstripped supply by a considerable margin. I'm also factoring in some being exclusive to certain retailers; as well as certain characters like the ones you mentioned being rarer than others (I expected my favorite Pokémon to be big rarity; he'll come after I get the "big 4" of Mario, Pikachu, Link, and Samus. My Wal-Mart just got a shipment of the Zero Suit ones, and some Captain Olimars as well).
DeleteEh, Wave 5B (the one that had Olimar and Zero Suit Samus) isn't actually that rare of a wave overall. There are still like 9 Zero Suit Samus's at my Best Buy.
DeleteIt still does make me mad how little sense the stock makes now for certain characters. Why should Dark Pit be more common than Pit and Palutena? Why should Rosalina be impossible to find while literally every other Mario character is common as fuck? Why is Zero Suit Samus relatively easy to find while regular Samus in the icnoic power suit that is far more recognizable is Unicorn rarity? And Kirby and Fox should not be rare period, since they are part of the original 8.
I know, the stock patterns in my area have been schizo ever since this whole thing started. I've noticed this all the time with other toylines; Transformers being one example that stands out at me. Even with the new RID lines; it's astounding how many Bumblebees they'll stock; yet I've generally only found maybe one Steeljaw or Strongarm in a shipment. The Age of Extinction line had a deluge of Drifts but barely any Lockdowns. Don't even get me started on trying to find the Dinobots in the scale I was after (seriously considering that twin back of Evasion Mode Optimus and Voyager Grimlock still).
Delete9 PM in the East. No new video.
ReplyDeleteAs of 12:34 AM, nothing. Till Tuesday, then.
DeletePhelous is going to review an episode of Haunted Investigators. Check his twitter for confirmation :)
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since we've had any good reviews of that show. I can't wait!
DeleteYou know Phelous should also review the Anime Labs fansubs of DBZ for "Bootleg Zone". For those that don't know who Anime Labs were:
Deletehttp://www.kanzenshuu.com/rumor/fansub-dialog/
I wonder what Bores has to say about this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.today.com/food/lucky-charms-releases-marshmallow-only-boxes-lucky-few-t50606
"FACE IT, BREAKFAST IS RUINED!"
DeleteThe cereal pieces may be annoying, but they make the marshmallows taste good. Marshmallow pieces alone is nasty
DeleteBlargh, that is diabetes waiting to happen.
DeletePart of what makes Lucky Charms enjoyable is the balance between cereal and marshmallows. Having one or the other is wrong.
Pretty much the only way for marshmallows only to be enjoyable is to have the cereal without milk. It's not healthy to have all marshamellows.
DeleteBatDan, just wondering. Are you looking forward to Tales of Zestiria?
ReplyDeleteYep, but not on Day 1. Gonna wait a bit before I get my hands on it. Already have a heavy backlog.
DeleteNo new videos this week. Maybe the Skyrate Lander is too busy playing Superchargers to care about anything else.
ReplyDeleteThat and coming up with increasingly ridiculous justifications for the many legitimate negative reviews of his book. "They're all trolls and AVGN fans no matter what they say. The guy who's sold more books than I could ever dream of is jealous of me!" Basically anything that allows him to maintain his delusions and fap his ego.
DeleteYou've got to be fucking kidding me: http://www.pcgamer.com/payday-2-gets-microtransactions-despite-devs-saying-it-wouldnt/
ReplyDeleteApparently, the AAA industry also consists of liars these days. And then they have the audacity to ask why we don't trust them.
Delete-_-
Ghost Hunting 2.0 launched at $7.99 on Kindle, dropped to $5.99, briefly dropped to $3.99 then returned to $5.99.
ReplyDeleteNow it has dropped to $4.99. My question is- if the book is rising in popularity then why drop the price during a period of increased sales?
The answer, I suspect, is people are reading it through Kindle Unlimited (as I did.) That is still counted as a sale as far as the best seller lists are concerned. Notice that Chris has not disclosed sales numbers and the physical version of the book is noticeably lower on the same charts.
Ghost hunting 3.0 preview:
ReplyDelete- New equipment: Proton pack and ghost trap.
- Bores explains what a book is.
- Some pages left blank as intended by the author.
- Applies new techniques such as scientology and ebonics.
- Luring a ghost out with pornography.
Feel free to add lol
- The front cover is of Bores making a painfully forced angry face at a poorly drawn ghost.
Delete- The book begins with "Welcome back, gamers."
- There are even more spelling/grammar errors than last time, as intended by the author.
- Bores explains what a ghost is.
- Bores explains what reading is.
- Bores compares ghosts to the Smurfs for no reason.
- Bores says that the reason his theories are right and that other people's are wrong is because he came up with his own theories, and anything he says is true.
- Bores says that anyone who kills themselves either goes to Hell or becomes a ghost and does not go to heaven. He says that he feels sorry for anyone who commits suicide, because they will never find peace in the afterlife.
- Bragging about his Tetris and Mario 2 reviews being featured on the front page of YouTube at one point in time and says that it makes him qualify as a ghost hunter.
- Luring a ghost out with Lucky Charms (BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVE THE ORIGINAL MARSHMALLOWS! OTHERWISE, THE GHOST'S BREAKFAST WILL BE RUINED!!!).
- Applies the technique of using different Skylanders to detect different kinds of ghosts, while also telling people to buy Skylanders because it's the best game ever.
- The last chapter of the book is 40 pages long and basically says that James Rolfe is actually the Devil and is the reason spirits are sent to walk the Earth. He never gives any evidence, explanation, or support for any of these claims; he just says it's true.
- Breaking new ground by proving that ghosts all go inside Kim Kardashian's ass when they fulfill their purpose on Earth. He makes a joke about the Kardashians sucking (solely because they're women and not because they're actually stupid and overexposed) and jokes about killing himself (despite what he said earlier about suicide).
- Bores asks people at the very end of the book to subscribe to his channel and send him free amiibo.
- Ends the book with "Game on."
- The back cover of the book is composed entirely of positive quotes about Chris's work by LadyBuggin777 (in other words, himself).
That would've been a better book than anything Chris could come up with.
DeleteShh, don't give him ideas!
DeleteI think Bores uses a technique called "telepatheticy" to communicate with the spirit world.
ReplyDeletenew video kung fu
ReplyDeleteUgh. I thought the video was decent-ish until the Shaft thing. Other than being black, that boss looks nothing like Richard Roundtree or Samuel Jackson (other than being bald too in his case).
Delete