Must Rush Resident Evil 6 Review Just Like Capcom Rushed The Game Out

Now, time to look at IG’s latest main video and see what stupid storyline he tries to implement this time. Hang on, it’s ANOTHER two minute Neo video? Jeez, what is it this time? Resident Evil 6? Wow, another game that came out today. I’m surprised Bores is getting so many of these advanced copies. Of course, he sacrifices quality by putting out the reviews the day the game comes out, and considering his track record of not beating games I seriously doubt he beat all three main campaigns plus Ada Wong’s campaign.

Everything I’ve seen and heard about RE6 has been bad. The demo was a mess, with Chris Redfield’s part reminding me more of Gears of War than Resident Evil, Leon’s part was full of pointless Quicktime Events (say, remember how RE4 did QTE, those were better!) and I haven’t tried Jake’s part but I hear it’s a combination of the two. The game has gone out of its way to actively not want my money, leading to nothing more than a rental. Capcpom’s statements about wanting this to achieve Call of Duty sales only left a bad taste, with people that tried the game calling it “Call of Evil”.
The fact the game is getting negative reviews tells me that Capcpom made some pretty bad choices.

However, I suspect Bores will adore this game because he got an early copy and won’t understand why the fans are so opposed to it.

We start on IG wearing a RE6 shirt. That’s different.
Of course he starts off mentioning he played this game at E3. That’s it, next time I’m writing up the Irate Gamer drinking game. There’s just so many things he does over and over that I think it’s required.

He brings up that the trailer they showed at E3 is how the game starts, and he likes how they start like that. Because that’s how Resident Evil should start, like an action movie. Running from infected dogs into a mansion? Getting attacked by villagers until the church bells ring? Well, that’s just boring.

IG says the game is fun and easy to pick up. Then for whatever reason brings up that he played Dead Island. What does that have to do with this? He says he found it hard to get into because he kept dying. Considering there’s no punishment for dying in that game, I don’t see how that stopped you. I just found the game repetitive and disappointing because like a lot of other people I was fooled by the trailer with the family. I will give it props for the amount of exploration that is possible.

But he likes RE6 because the controls are awesome (they are? Everything I’ve heard said the controls are crap) and how it’s smooth and that you can change the “difficulty selcth”. I think he means difficulty selection, and that’s in a lot of games so I don’t see how that feature is a positive. That’s like praising a game because you can pause it (something you can’t do in Resident Evil 6, what do you know).
He then brings up that if he got stuck, it’s because of something he did wrong. Oh hey, maybe they finally made the “easy setting more easier” like he wanted.

He mentions there’s a learning curve, wait hang on! Earlier you said it was easy to pick up! Does it have a learning curve, or is it easy to figure out? It can’t be both!
He swiftly moves on to mention that there are three storylines, then the game’s “creep factor“. Wow, he’s going fast and not really explaining his points all that well. It’s like he really, really wanted to get this video out by October 2nd.

He gushes about the graphics and how “realistic” they’re getting, then praises the storyline. Are you serious? The storyline? The story’s a joke! I hear a lot of it is told through library files (sounds very FFXIII) that you have to locate, and that all the new characters created solely for co-op reasons are pointless. Plus, how contrived is having Wesker’s son in the game? Yeah, I get the feeling Bores only started Resident Evil on the fifth game.

“Old school Resident Evil fans I think you’ll (pause) really enjoy this one” No, no they won’t. It’s a departure from what made Resident Evil the franchise it is. Why do you think there are three separate storylines? Because Capcpom couldn’t decide on what they wanted. They wanted a Western-style shooter, so we get Gears of Chris Redfield. The fans wanted something like RE4 so we got Leon’s campaign (which from what I’ve heard still isn’t that great). The fact people describe the game as a Michael Bay movie does not make it look good!
Then he says that anyone that’s new could easily get into this one. I recommend they don’t.
Yeah, it’s easy to tell from the footage that Bores only played like an hour or two of Leon’s campaign.

That was… not as bad as I thought it would be. Just boring.
It wasn’t as heinously bad as his Resident Evil 5 review, and it felt a bit more scripted than the DOA5 review from last week, but it was still a waste.
I’m surprised Bores didn’t mention the camera giving him motion sickness. The camera is one of the worst I’ve seen in a long time.

That’s it for now. I’ll give this post a few days to linger before I write up the Irate Gamer drinking game. Unless the next regular IG episode comes out within that time. We’ll see what happens.

EDIT: Guru Larry has pointed out that, once again, Bores stole the footage. We are unable to find out who as, this time, Bores zoomed in to hide the watermark (the zoom is how Larry found out it was stolen). But IGN or Gamespot sound like likely sources as both have watermarks in their videos. Plus, the game just came out so it's not like Cyberman65 or another independent video maker who had a full playthrough up on YouTube.
Good lord Chris, have you no shame?

EDIT 2: He posted another contest video, showing off some more stuff he got at E3 and announcing the winners of his previous contest. What's interesting is that one of the winners has already won before, and it just so happens to be that little brat he met in Florida. Jeez, could you make it any more obvious that these contests are shams? Not only has the same person won twice, but this kid also stays in contact with his mother! The same mother that has openly admitted to picking the winners.
So once again, any small time fans will not win his contests. You better be ultra-loyal and be nice to his mom. No matter how much of a psycho she acts like.

Wanted Dead or Alive: A Script

After four months of waiting, his new IG video is finally out. What, it’s not his new IG video? It’s a Neo video? Figures. What’s it about? Dead or Alive 5? Wow, that just came out today! He must have gotten an early review copy from GotGame. … This is going to blow hard isn’t it?

Just from the title I can tell this will fail. He calls it a “short handed” review, and short is right, it’s only 2 minutes long. Because of the length, I’m not going to do my usual recap style with the timestamps.

Right off the bat, you can tell this was unscripted and likely done in one take. How? He scratches his chest! That’s not the type of thing you show in a video!
“If you like fighting games, this one’s for you” I’m this close to writing up an Irate Gamer drinking game. Take a shot every time he says “If you like x, then you’ll like this/this is for you”
He also brings up that you have hot chicks beating the crap out of each other. No surprise there…

He brings up Mortal Kombat again, and that MK is his standard for how fighting games should work with “secret moves” and “all that stuff”. That’s a really weird standard. All fighting games have “secret moves”, they’re called specials. It’s not a big deal. A real standard would be Virtua Fighter, or anything by SNK.
He once again brings up the hot chicks. You’re starting to sound a bit perverted.

IG brings up he prefers playing the girls over the guys because they’re “normal guys you can find in other fighting games”. Okay, now you’re really starting to sound like a pervert! By the way, Ryu Hayabusa is in this game. You won’t find him in “every other fighting game”, just the DoA ones. Plus, Ryu is a major selling point.

He goes to the story mode and says it isn’t that special. Then mentions he only got through an hour of it thus making his point void. Come on, you got an early copy and you couldn’t even play the whole thing? I am so glad GotGame doesn’t give him RPGs, I would hate to see him review the upcoming Tales of Xillia after a couple hours.
He says his reason for not going any farther is that he couldn’t get into it because he doesn’t know everyone’s special moves. Psst, there’s a moves list if you pause the game. Every fighting game has one. It’s a secret to everybody.
“Like I said, I prefer playing the hot girls instead of the guys” Because you’re a perv.

He mentions he got his ass kicked by the computer because he didn’t know all the special moves. Are we going around in circles? I feel like he keeps mentioning the same points over and over. How the fuck does GotGame allow this?!
Also, the reason isn’t because you don’t know the special movies, it’s because you suck. I thought we’ve made this perfectly clear by now.

“This one might not appeal to all fighting genre fans out there” But… but… but you said in the beginning that if you “like fighting games, this one’s for you”. This is why writing a script is so important! Especially for someone like you!
And of course, he ends on a shot of a female figher’s ass. Keeping it classy, Bores.

That was garbage. But I expected as much from the title “short handed”. Not even a mention of multiplayer. Far too many mentions of the "hot chicks". All kinds of bleh.
At the beginning of the video, he said Tecmo themselves sent him the game. If that’s true, they really should reconsider who they give free copies to. Then again, he was the only person to praise Ninja Gaiden 3 so they probably see him as a dumbass willing to praise anything they do.

Various Bits and Observations. Slow Month.

It has been slow around here hasn't it? Very few videos from IG. Even the superfluous stuff like contests or update videos are nowhere to be seen. I don't feel like doing a redux recap now so here's some updates and other stuff I noticed. If you read the comments, you will have probably seen this.

From Facebook:
Bores mentioned that his upcoming IG video will have him play around 15 characters. Jeez, overkill much? I'm aware that some people require themselves to play multiple characters as they don't always have other people around to help. Take Linkara, he doesn't always have his friend Will around to play Snowflame or the Gunslinger. However, AT4W is put out on a weekly basis and only has a limited window to get people. Bores takes MONTHS at a time to put an episode out, and during this time he seriously can't get other people to help out? Take on a couple of roles?

He claims the reason that Brad Harp didn't reprise his role as the Genie is that he moved away, and found it easier to do it himself. Is that hard to call him and ask "Are you free? Want to spend a couple hours filming some lines for my review?" and then work the schedule around to do it. Especially when there's huge gaps in releases.
Maybe Bores is scared that people will like the other actors better than him? He seems to have that problem. That's why I'm suspicious that he wrote out the Wise Sage, or plans to push Eric Allen away and play the Sage himself.

Up Up Ubi:
Earlier this year, Bores did a "review" of the iOS game "Up Up Ubi", created by his (former?) artist DatBoiDrew. When I noticed that Bores removed the review and the link to Drew's site, I contacted him about it, wondering if he's still involved. Drew said he hasn't been in contact for a while and pointed out something interesting. Bores reviewed the TRIAL version of Up Up Ubi, not the full version. The game only costs $1 dollar, so Bores couldn't even bother to pay one measly dollar to support someone that helped him.
The review is back up now, but I get the feeling he also pushed Drew away. Not a good idea Bores. Very few people are willing to help you, and it's not going to get better if you push them away.

Skylanders Giants:
Bores actually did upload a new video the other day, but it was so damn boring that I can't bothered to write a recap on it. It's another preview of Skylanders: Giants. All that happens is Bores listing off the new figures, mentioning some E3 stuff, and some of the SKUs that will be available. It was a selfish video too as Bores even mentioned in the description that it won't appeal to everybody but he really wanted to make it.
He was right about one thing, that not everybody will like it. So much so he lost over 80 subscribers because of it. People on his Facebook even said "I'm unsubscribing". That's harsh.

One of my readers, Doresh, brought up a good point about his Skylanders obsession. He calls out Nintendo for being "too kiddy", yet here he is making multiple videos on a toy/game combo made specifically to drain money from kids (and parents). I'm aware that Skylanders has a massive adult following, but they know when something is intended for kids but can appeal to everyone. Unlike Bores who is all "Nintendo is kiddy" now. *rolls eyes*

The Future:
A couple days ago, Doug Walker announced that, after five years, he's retiring the Nostalgia Critic. He won't be gone forever as he'll do a video on a rare occasion, but the weekly format is done and he'll focus on other projects now.
This makes me wonder, what kind of future does Bores have? A lot of internet personalities seem to have it set. Gamers like Derek Alexander (HVGN), Joey DeSena (CotGW), Joe Vargas (Angry Joe), John Bain (Total Biscuit) and others all have reporting and reviewing jobs that can last a long time (look at Jeff Gerstmann). Movie people like James Rolfe (AVGN/Cinemassacre), Brad Jones (Cinema Snob) and Doug Walker (TGWTG) all have bigger plans as well, two of them have movies coming soon. Lewis Lovhaug (Linkara) is making a lot of connections in the comic book industry. Some already have steady jobs like Chuck Sonnenburg of SFDebris (he's a teacher) but he still gets paid plenty for his Star Trek and Sci-Fi reviews.

Where is Bores going? The gaming community treats him like a joke, he's an incompetent film "director", and I'm not sure about the paranormal community, but I get the feeling they treat him like a joke too.
My only guess is that he'll be forced behind the scenes, working under people that won't allow him to stick stock explosions in every shot. Maybe GotGame will save him.

Linkara, Brad, if you're reading this, think you can weigh in?

That's it for now. I recommend people play Tales of Graces F on PS3. Why? Because it has an awesome battle system and it's better than Final Fantasy currently is.

EDIT (9/22): Bores posted an update to his site yesterday.
New episode of the irate gamer show is well underway. Finished taping a few days ago and into the post production stages now. Suffice to say I played about 15 different parts in this one which oddly enough didn’t give me an identity crisis lol. Stay tuned for more!!
game on!
Once again doing the identity crisis joke. Reminding us he's playing 15 characters. Going by this, expect it early October.

"Real Real Gaming", About as Real as Square-Enix's Soul

Man, GotGame must need views. There’s another IG video already posted. It’s a sketch video, a “crossover” with site owner Steve Masters (and I say crossover in the loosest sense since Steve only shows up in the beginning and end).

Steve wants IG to try out their new invention “Real Real Gaming”. Wow, that’s ironic. Who else to test something called “real gaming” than the biggest fraud of all?
When Steve introduces IG, he responds with “welcome”. What kind of response is that? Why not something like “thank you” or “great to be here”? He’s the one welcoming you! Please tell me he doesn’t need a script THAT badly?

We then cut to IG sitting in front of a TV with an Xbox 360 connected. Enjoy this, this is the only time we’re going to see Bores play a 360 these days (according to my informant, a fan asked if he prefers 360 or PS3. A real gamer has no preference, so Bores responded “PS3”. Going by this and other instances, it’s safe to say he’s a massive PS3 fanboy).
EDIT:  My anger towards console fanboys clouded my judgement. People do have preferences, but most sensible players know the actual strengths and weaknesses of all the consoles. Bores is not one of those sensible players.

First game he tries is Sleeping Dogs. I love how it’s a shitty TV incapable of HD but the footage itself is in HD. Must be those GotGame interns hard at work.
During gameplay, goons shoot at IG and bullets hit the wall behind him in real life. With this you can tell what kind video this will be. The stale “video games attack you in real life” joke repeated over and over. Lovely.

He then starts NBA Jam. So, something like Bores getting set on fire when the announcer yells “HE’S ON FIRE”, or exploding after “BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA”. Nope, he just gets attacked by a basketball. … Pretty lame.
By the way, heavy amounts of controller shaking Pac-Man Fever throughout this video. It is at the worst on the last game.

He follows that with Project Gotham Racing 3, thinking it will be safe. You’re going to hit by a car or something. At least that’s how I would have done it. Instead, he crashes and there’s an explosion. Because it wouldn’t be a Mi- I mean Irate Gamer video without explosions. That doesn’t even make sense, PGR doesn’t have explosions. Would it really have been that hard to edit a car to drive by him?

So, that’s the third game. Rule of three dictates the video is over right? HAHAHA no. Instead we have to watch him play Madden 13. Yeah, you can all see where this is going.
He gets hit by a football player. What’s the point of this video? Did Steve want to do an actual crossover only to see Bores knows nothing about the games he plays and never actually beats them?

The video ends with Steve reporting again, and IG walking up with his sleeves rolled up and looking like an ape. So, playing “Real Real Gaming” devolves a human back to a Neanderthal state? Looks like it needs more testing.
Also, couldn’t you have made him look damaged? Cover him in fake blood, put him in bandages, something to imply he got tackled.
But no, IG just throws the games down and punches Steve in the face. Badly. I just sit there and roll my eyes.

And for those wondering why I’m talking about this despite not sounding like an IG video? Bores credits himself with his usual titles at the end. That’s why.

So that was… just lame. Really nothing much to say besides that.
I just think GotGame is reaching at this point. I mean, they have something called the “Ghetto Gamers”. Are you serious?

What’s next? Hell if I know.
I do find it funny how Bores is ultra-hyping Haunted Investigators. In reality, only like three people will care. He doesn’t seem to get that people only “care” for HI because of his other show, the one he neglects for months at a time.

Bores-formers: Nothing Makes Sense At All

*looks at IG’s Socialblade* Man, either small gains or small losses, this is pretty bad for a partner with over 130k subs. Not sure how looking up Socialblade is considered “stalking”, it’s a public site that anyone can access. Is it any different from looking up box office records or NPD sales?

Oh, he’s got a new video. But before I get to that, a couple of things to bring up.
His site updated a few days ago, mentioning that he’s working on a “big project”. What could be it be? Well, my Facebook informant saw an update from him talking about Haunted Investigators and that he’s “forced to secrecy”. By who? You’re the sole producer!
So yeah, it’s very likely this “big project” is more sleep-inducing nonsense about ghosts. Unless it’s miraculously exciting, don’t expect a recap on it.

A while ago, I contacted Eric “Wise Sage” Allen with a plea to stop LadyBuggin777 as she’s out of control and out of her mind, even bringing up the theory that it’s Chris pulling a Norman Bates. Unfortunately, he can’t do anything. He also confirmed that Chris is not pretending to be her, it really is her, and she has access to IG’s account. This would explain the angry “go cry to momma” and “I’m better than you because I make money” PM responses.

Meaning that screencap I posted a while ago? It was her not realizing which account she was using when throwing temper tantrums at “trolls”. She quickly shifted the blame on his crew “clowning around”. Funny how this “crew” somehow manages to type the exact same way she does, right down to the grammar.

Eric also told me he hasn’t been involved in the show for a while. I have sneaking suspicion that he’s trying to write out the Wise Sage. He was last seen in the RoboCop 2 & 3 review and that was nearly a year ago. Hell, he wasn’t included in that “Irate Gamer Colorform” set, yet Not-Wilson was. A Home Improvement recolor is now more important than the only person willing to appear in your videos.

Anywho, it’s a Neo video (big shock) and it’s on… Transformers: Fall of Cybertron? Oh wow, a game review within a fortnight of its release. Meaning he likely didn’t beat it.
By the way Chris, it’s just “Cybertron” not “CyberTron”. It’s not a porn version of the movie Tron.

0:06 - 0:56: The video starts out with him introducing the game, and when he gets to the footage he brings up that he played this at E3. For those that do an Irate Gamer drinking game, please add “I played this at E3” to your list, and take a shot every time he does that.
Then for whatever reason he brings up that he just watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and that it’s a competent action movie but it doesn’t please him as a Transformers fan because it didn’t have the characters he recognized. You don’t say?
He said playing this game made him feel like a kid again. How strange since this isn’t the G1 continuity, it’s an all new one that… never mind this is getting too nerdy.

He praises the story, cut scenes and fighting, lists off a few characters he recognizes and then curses Michael Bay because they weren’t in the movies. After reading the script to his shelved TMNT movie, loyalty to the source material is the LAST thing you should expect from him. I know he was only producing, but his trademarks were all over it.

0:57 - 1:19: He keeps going on about the characters, and says he can tell the creators were hardcore Transformers fans. Didn’t one of their reps tell you this himself at E3? It’s kind of a given since War for Cybertron was fairly faithful too.

We then cut to IG in a wide shot, giving away that something will show up on screen. My bet is on an Energon cube falling from the ceiling.
He brings up that you not only play as the good guys, but also the bad guys. Yeah, I’m getting the feeling that outside of that 5-10 minutes at E3 2010, he didn’t actually play War for Cybertron.
After he brings up the bad guys, Megatron walks in (still with the Starscream voice) and says it’s his time to shine. IG tells him that he only shows up at the end. The end? There’s 13 chapters and Megatron’s first playable chapter is 9. Sure it’s near the end but the way you phrased that made it sound like he only shows up in the final chapter. At least this implies he beat the game, or he watched a walkthrough on YouTube.
Of course, Megatron gets mad, walks off, and IG gives his stare at the camera and shrugs. Because he still thinks this is a wacky sitcom.

1:20 - 2:13: He brings up that at E3 he had trouble with the controls but believes they fixed them since then. For some reason it cuts to a shot of him, and he says “Well said, narrator” Wait, that’s NOT supposed to be you? How… wha? My eyes are leaking a mysterious navy blue fluid, I think it’s insanity.
The “narrator” even thanks him. Where the hell did this from? Is it like Haunted Investigators where you’re so obviously the narrator but you still refer to yourself in the third person like the narrator is someone else?

IG brings up that while there’s action missions, there’s also first-person sniper missions. He says he doesn’t go for first-person games because they consist of killing the enemies, waiting, killing the enemies, waiting, all while we cut to him doing that. I believe the proper term is “cover”, as in take cover so you don’t die from the storm of bullets turning you into swiss cheese.. Not every FPS is like that, just the overrated popular ones. You sure it’s not because of your self-diagnosed vertigo?
He prefers to run and gun and throw himself into the action, which gets him killed in two seconds. Well, it’s not the game’s fault that you suck Chris. We’ve gone over this so many times now.

He brings up that there were a few moments he kept dying on, but is thankful for the ability to switch difficulties, as we see him go down to easy mode. Chris Bores on Easy Mode? What a rare occurrence!
“I’m taking the easy way out! Don’t like it? Sue me!” Lawsuit? Nah, would be too frivolous. Mock you for once again going on easy? Oh ho ho ho most certainly.

Now for his final verdict.
Blah blah blah fans of show will love it especially if 80’s don’t care.
And then he signs out with Megatron-scream saying his catchphrase… and Bores tackling him. He’s also somehow taller than him. Either this is a mini-Megatron clone (would explain the higher-pitched voice), a Minicon that looks exactly like G1 Megatron, or Bores has no sense of scale or didn’t care just to make this stupid joke. The last one sounds the most logical.

So that was… somewhere between the bad and the mediocre. It was barely a review, spending way too much time on his nostalgia. All we got out of it is that he doesn’t like first-person shooters and “Transformers = Cool”. The bits with Megatron-scream were facepalm-inducing, and that “Well said narrator” part just really bugs me. At least when other shows address the narrator, it’s obviously a different voice. Like when Winnie the Pooh did it.

By the way, new drinking game addition. Take a shot every time his controller is off, it happens so much with his PS3 controller. How can you tell it’s off? There’s no red light on the top. As well no blue light on his Wii remote and no green light on his 360 controller (though these last two consoles are rare now as he’s gone full-blown PS3 fanboy).

That’s it for now. He also said on his site he’s working on a new regular IG episode so… late September maybe?

Hungering for Steady-Cam. Bores Pretends He's An Expert Filmmaker

Whoa, a second movie review this year? Someone check Hell’s thermostat.

What’s he going to talk about? The Hunger Games. Wow, and I thought his Neo reviews were really late. Okay, to be fair it did just come out on DVD/Blu-Ray but anything he says about the movie really won’t matter now, months after it’s been in theaters.

He titled the video “Hunger Games - Down and Dirty Movie Rant and Review”. Down and dirty? What kind of title is that? Are you going to wrestle Woody Harrelson or something?
The description isn’t much better, as he says the “fisticuffs fly”. You’re spending 2 minutes 45 seconds talking about a movie, there’s no need to get that over-dramatic about it.
Oh look, he’s learned fake thumbnails too! We have an image of a supposedly topless Jennifer Lawrence with the words “Down and Dirty” censoring her chest. I’d say that I would forever hate YouTube if this video gets a ton of views because of that thumbnail, but my opinion of the site really can’t go any lower.

Onto the video.
Bores says that the story was entertaining but felt parts were “underexplained”. Or they purposely didn’t explain certain things to add material for the sequels. Just saying.
“My rant about this film isn’t about the story itself as most of my movie rants go” What movie rants?! You never rant about movies! All your previous videos on movies are “reviews”, you label them as reviews. Yes, they’re poorly made but they’re certainly not rants.

Instead, his rant is calling out the cinematographer. He complains that the movie has some of the weirdest “super-quick panning shots” and “shaky cam”. This rant would have been so much better had you made it in March. Back when everyone was already complaining about this.
He compares the footage to a YouTube video and asks if they heard of a Tripod. Where the hell do you get off calling them out for this? Where’s your big budget movie?
“What cinematographer do you know who doesn’t use a fucking tripod?!” Ever hear of a found footage movie Bores? Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity?
“I bet you’re just one of those hippie assholes who loves to make a statement” Where did you get that idea? The whole point of the shaky cam is to showcase how chaotic The Hunger Games really are. It’s a bunch of kids killing each other. Also, where were your complaints on this during your review of the second Transformers movie? The camera work there is soooo much worse.

He then proceeds to call out the editor, claiming that if he finds him, he’ll smash his DVD over his head. Keep it classy!
Chris, you’re the last person to call out someone for bad editing. Do you really think your constant green screen with people sliding into frame like they're on ice, or bouncing into frame like they're South Park characters is any better?

He complains that shots go by too fast. Then tries to explain how they need to let the audience absorb each shot and take it in. Since when the hell did think you’re such a master filmmaker? You’ve done nothing to show any competence in the art of film.
Also, a lot of movies out there have fast cutting. Saving Private Ryan and The Shining are two great examples. Actually, Saving Private Ryan makes perfect sense. Both movies are in ultra-violent settings where the characters are relying on their instincts to fight through everything.
He also shows an example of a scene with multiple cuts. Actually, I think I get what they’re trying to convey here. They’re showing Katniss and Peeta entering on their chariot and the cuts to the audience are to show what Katniss is likely feeling. A lot of people watching her and her mind is racing and all over the place. That’s at least what I see from it.

Bores also keeps going on about getting motion sick or having a “mild case of epilepsy”. You know, if all these movies or games make you sick or give you seizures, maybe you should stop and find something else to review that won’t cause that. How about the Pokemon episode Electric Soldier Porygon?
“Are you fresh out of film school” Considering you never went, you need to shut the fuck up and quit acting like you’re an expert.
He says this was the first time he would rather read the book and mentions that before he hasn’t. You act like we’re surprised by this.

That’s basically the video. Bores acting all high and mighty like he’s a big time director or something. Again, you shouldn’t talk Bores. Your editing is abysmal, and when you go on about staying on shots for too short, all I can think of is the times where you stay on a shot too long. That is, all the times you stare at the camera telling people that this is the funny part.

Deliverance115, who has read the books and seen the movie, sees all the fast editing like this. The characters are bunch of kids, being thrust into a new world at an ultra-quick pace, their minds are racing and they have no clue what’s going on. It actually makes sense for everything to spin or shake when seen that way.
Considering how little Bores spent talking about the story, it seems like he missed it and only saw the technical side of it.

And if you think I’m being a bit hard on Bores thinking he’s so high and mighty? For the past year or so, fans have asked him if he’s making a movie. His response was always the same “Season 4 is my movie” or “My show is movie-like”. That’s what he claims, Season 4 or Season 1 HD or whatever the fuck he wants to call it is his “big movie”. He’s even stated that if you string all of the episodes together, you have his movie.

Let’s analyze that last part shall we?
So far, there have been 5 Season 4 episodes (over two years). Time-wise, they add up to 48 minutes and 48 seconds. That’s including his theme music, his credit title cards, and the “Check out my other videos” card at the end. I imagine removing those would only shave off a few seconds.
The opening introduces our villains. Alright that’s fair. We meet IG’s new neighbor Goro, who isn’t seen after the first 15 minutes. The box of 7-Up games is set up like a plot point, only to end up being a sight gag. The robot invasion, which would be the final act of a real movie, is taken care of within the first 30 minutes. The plot whiplashes into the whole “chosen one” thing after that. A brand new villain is introduced 46 minutes into the movie, with no resolution about the other villains. Characters are introduced out of nowhere, given zero development outside of their single dimension. The hero is an unlikable buffoon and a complete Mary Sue.

The point is, Chris shouldn’t act like he’s this great filmmaker when he’s less credible than The Asylum. He can claim he went to film school all he wants, but the facts say otherwise (how Ashland University doesn’t have a film & broadcasting major, the Dark Chapters).

I get the feeling this video was just another bandwagon jump.
Wait, I just realized. He didn’t actually review this movie! All he did was rant about the technical problems he had, and dedicated like four seconds to the story. Don’t call it a review then!

A Sticky Video on Adhesive Toys

*comes out of bomb shelter* Looks safe, seems all the ugliness has come to pass. *sighs* This has been a draining few days, but at least it’s over.

Looks like Bores already has a new video up. Like he promised in the last update, it’s an I Rate the 80’s. Heh, remember last year how he would release a new one of these at least once a month? Now, this is his first one in seven months. Someone needs to get their priorities sorted.

This video is on Colorforms, yet another toy. Continuing his pattern of toys and food.
You know, it’s fairly obvious Bores based this series on VH1’s I Love the 80’s. Hell, it’s in the show’s title itself. While that series did cover toys and food, it covered a myriad of subjects as well. Movies, music, TV shows, sporting events, fashion trends, world events, political events, advancements in technology, and so much more. While Bores did talk about a commercial campaign last time, it was one that predominantly took place in the 90’s, so I’m not really counting it.
The tagline on his site says he’s going to cover “everything” from the 80’s, he’d better pick up the pace then.

So, what are Colorforms? They’re a long-running (1951) adhesive vinyl toy shaped in various ways, mostly popular franchise characters. You get a board that you stick them to and have them  act out stuff. That’s about it. Onto the video then.

Wow, he titled it “documentary”… again. You can use that word all you want Bores, that doesn’t change how ill-informed this series truly is.

0:05 - 0:50: The video starts with a brief introduction as he wonders where they came from. He follows up with “stock footage” from the 50’s, which is obviously modern stock footage with a filter over it. The sepia-tone makes it look waaaay older than the 50’s.

We cut to Bores in a wig, playing Harry Kislevitz (oy gevalt!) as he explains the “history”. What about Patricia Kislevitz? Aren’t you going to mention her, or did you not want to crossdress to portray her?
Also, where did Bores get this story about Harry’s pencil pouch? I’m looking up the official Colorforms website and it doesn’t mention that. Instead, it mentions how a friend in art school gave them a roll of paper-thin vinyl and they noticed it stuck to the semi-gloss paint in their bathroom. Bores, if you’re trying to tell the history in a documentary format, you can’t take liberties! This isn’t a Disney movie.

After that, we get a quick montage of Bores sticking Colorforms to various surfaces, ending on a toilet. He realizes what he did and proceeds to smell and lick the colorform, gagging after he does it. I find it funny how his fans (and his mom) claim he doesn’t resort to toilet humor. This is really blatant toilet humor!

0:51 - 1:12: IG brings up that the very first Colorforms were in simple shapes, then moves ahead six years when they released Colorforms based on Popeye. Or as he pronounces it “Pupeye”. Okay, there’s no excuse for that one, nobody pronounces it like that!
“Although they were crude in design” They were released in 1957 Chris, there was no quality standard back then. Just like the Odyssey, you never put yourself in the right timeframe!
He then puts together the Popeye Colorform (using photoshop as he obviously doesn’t have them) and makes it laugh. Errrgh.

1:12 - 1:47: “Now we enter into the 1980’s” I’m just going to completely skip over the 60’s and 70’s because I don’t feel like making this video longer than four minutes.
He lists off a few 80’s related Colorforms sets, and brings up a 3D ThunderCats one. We see him wearing 3D glasses, comments on it being “so real”, then he touches it and somehow brings Snarf to life. IG just swats him away. I’m looking for the funny but I don’t see it.
I’m really getting the feeling that Bores is the only internet critic that doesn’t think 3D is bullshit.

We cut to, oh great another Mini-Bores in a toy aisle scene. Complete with Bores being almost as tall as the shelf. Either Bores has no clue how perspective works, or he truly was that freakishly tall as a child. You make the call!
We see him get excited over various Colorforms, and he didn’t even bother to alter his voice. At least in previous videos, he changed the pitch. Here, he didn’t even care, all he did was make his voice slightly high pitched, sounding more like an adolescent hitting puberty.
“Welcome Back, Kotter? What the hell is this *bleep*?” Little kid cursing, that’s classy. Why did he even bleep it? Is he trying family-friendly again? Also, Welcome Back, Kotter is a sitcom that ran for 4 seasons (1975-79) on ABC. It’s about a teacher returning to his high school alma mater to teach a group of delinquent students considered “unteachable”. Being in the same position himself in high school, he believes he can reach out to them easily. This show helped jump-start the career of John Travolta, who was promoted to “Special Guest Star” in the final season after hitting it big in Saturday Night Fever and Grease. … Or was that supposed to be a joke?

1:48 - 2:40: IG brings up that as a kid, he had the Pac-Man Colorforms. If this his attempt to convince us he’s a gamer again, he’s going to have to try better. Everyone played Pac-Man back then. My Dad played Pac-Man back then, and he can’t even figure out Wii Sports!
Oh… it’s because he was a fan of the cartoon. Alright then.
He demonstrates how the backboard works, by placing Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man and Baby Pac (it’s actually Pac-Baby but whatever) on it. Then he has the car run over Pac-Baby. Why do you hate babies so much? Throwing the baby Kinnikuman figure into the disposal, running over Pac-Baby with a car. I don’t like babies either but I don’t want to hurt them! If this is your attempt at comedy, it’s not funny, it’s cruel!

He then places the ghosts onto it, and Pac-Man to scare them. This prompts the ghosts to somehow turn blue (effects) and scream “P-p-p-pac Power!” So lame.
Oh it’s not over. Mezmaron from the cartoon appears and says it’s “so hard to find good help these days” Jeez, I had to look up who that was. I’ve never seen the Pac-Man cartoon because it looks horrid, and seeing that character only instills the idea that it’s beyond awful. Just like these jokes.
He mentions that he had hours of fun playing with these guys, then complains that Clyde is yellow instead of orange. “Seriously a yellow ghost?!” Boy, I’d hate to see him play Pac-Man Arrangement with Kinky (thanks to Justin De Lucia for pointing this out)

“What the fu-” *cuts to a technical difficulties card with bleeps* So, cursing is allowed on the regular IG show because there’s still plenty of that. But for this 80’s show, you don’t want to curse. … What exactly do you want? Who are you targeting? If you want this 80’s show to be for kids, make a separate channel to keep them away from the naughty language of your main show. Though, you wouldn’t get money from that other channel, and you’re not high enough on the YouTube partner hierarchy for instant partnership on a new channel. Like iJustine or Shane Dawson. Either way, your target audience is all over the place.

EDIT: Pohger has informed me that it is now much easier to become a YouTube Partner. You can just create an account, upload a video, enable advertising on it, and you can be considered for partnership. Interesting.

2:40 - 2:59: He once again brings up that Colorforms had a ton of licensed versions, listing off a few more including a Michael Jackson one.
“Why are there so many little boys in this set?” Ugggh, that joke stopped being funny years ago. Though, Black Dynamite did pull it off, and that’s only after revealing Michael Jackson was part of an alien species called “Mama-se Mama-sa Mama-ku-sa” and he was still a child. Go watch Black Dynamite, it’s so much better than this.
IG then remarks that after the 80’s ended, so did their popularity. No… they’re still pretty popular. They still release new ones to this day. Spongebob Squarepants, Dora the Explorer, Green Lantern, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, and so many others.

We arrive to his rating. He remarks that for every good Colorform set, there were strange ones. What’s wrong with CHIPs? What’s wrong with Colorforms based on TV shows?
Oh and he gives it a Nostalgic Overload. Of course…
“Who knows if these things will ever become popular again in the future” Do your fucking research!
“Until they do, I’ll just be playing with the Irate Gamer Colorform” WHAT? NO!
Oh good lord this is stupid! He places Colorforms of Irate Gamer, Ronnie, Tony, Wilson, and the lead HAL-bot onto his set. The lead HAL-Bot referencing Star Trek with “Resistance is Futile”. Ow, ow ow ow. Did he seriously just waste hours crafting custom Colorforms just for this joke? On his own show? How egotistical can you get?!

This video was outright stupid! Research failure in the history part, horrid jokes all over the place, and that ending bit was so god damn dumb that it hurt. I guess after the boring Bud Bowl video, we needed an 80’s episode that was topped to the brim with frothy stupidity.

Here’s something interesting StevenTheAnimeNerd noticed in the comments. Bores has expressed interest in doing an episode on the G1 Transformers, but says it would be too expensive. So, you have no qualms with spending thousands and thousands of dollars on old gaming consoles and games that you do not care for at all. But for a bunch of action figures that you seem to have some interest in you can’t do it because it’s out of your price range. I will never understand your logic.

It’s anyone guess on when the next video will be out. That’s all for now.

EDIT: Wow, I missed a lot in this video.
I didn't point out how the only Colorforms set he actually had was the Pac-Man one. That one in the beginning? Those were ones he made himself, and he just printed a picture of the original cover and taped it onto a box. Thanks to The Necro Critic for pointing this out.
The 3D box he was looking at didn't have a lid, it was just the box of his custom Colorforms. Thanks to Linkara for pointing this out.
In the Michael Jackson scene, he's holding the yellow ghost he was complaining about before. I missed this one as I was focused on the fact he made a dated "MJ is a pedo" joke. Thanks to Guru Larry and Shmuk Lidooha for pointing this out.
IG seemed to indicate that the Pac-Man set was based on the cartoon, when it's actually based on the Japanese Pac-Man designs. In Japan, Pac-Man (or Puck Man) had a long nose and pizza-shaped eyes. His western design gave him a smaller nose. On the Hanna-Barbara cartoon, he has a hat, a small nose, and white eyes with black pupils. The way he went on about the cartoon, he seems to think the cartoon inspired the video game, and not the other way around. This would lend further weight to my "Captain N/TV Shows" theory. Thanks again to Guru Larry for pointing this out.
As for those Irate Gamer Colorforms, paper cutouts with tape on the back. Thanks again to The Necro Critic for pointing this out.