Thursday, May 20, 2010

Redux Recap: Puzzle Game Addiction is No Laughing Matter. It's Actually Boring and Contrived

*sighs* Back to the recaps.
Sorry, I’m just so discouraged that people actually found his latest Neo video “good”. I can never get a real answer as to why people enjoy the Irate Gamer. I guess YouTube Proles really are that stupid. *swigs from a bottle*

Before I start today’s recap, I’d like to bring up that The Bores updated his site today.

5-20-10
I updated my webpage a few days ago but forgot to upload it. lol. Silly me.
Well a new Neo episode is up and this time I review 3 games that fans have requested me to do. Hopefully I'll be doing more 3-in-1 episodes in the future in order to get a lot of fan requests out of the way.

Chris, the idea of a request is you take it into consideration. Reviewers can’t get to every single request they receive. Plus, how many of your fan brats requested Brutal Legend? Maybe one?
The way he’s phrasing that, it sounds like he doesn’t want to do this anymore. Like he doesn’t want to play any of those games. But in order to keep making money, he has to keep making videos. Might explain why he only played an hour of each game in that last video.


I’ve put this off long enough. Let’s recap his Tetris review.

This video made me ask the same question multiple times… why review Tetris? It’s not a bad game, it’s not obscure, literally everyone has played it, what’s the point?
Maybe if he did a retrospective of Tetris games it would work, but he didn’t do that. He didn’t even MENTION the Game Boy version, the most popular version of the game, and one of the games he reviewed wasn’t Tetris.

Wait what’s this? “The NES Scandal & Review”? Oh no, this is going to be like the SMB2 video.
Why does he have such a hard-on for “video game scandals”? Video games aren’t exactly a hot topic for TMZ or tabloids. Most “scandals” are uproars caused by the idiots at Fox News or Jack Thompson and all of those are fairly recent.
That might explain why he got WhatTheBuck to do a guest spot… alright enough of that. Let’s go.

0:20 - 0:33: IG goes on about Tetris being popular and known around the world. “It was new, original, and widely popular…” Holy crap! When the game came out, it was new! I didn’t think that was possible.

0:34 - 0:51: “What does the word Tetris mean? And what’s a Tetris?” Stop asking “what is a…” questions it makes you sound retarded.
“It comes from the Greek word “Tetra”, meaning segments containing 4 pieces”



Nooooo. Tetris comes from the “Tetra” in tetromino, tetrominos are geometric shapes made of four squares. You can read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetromino
The “-is” comes from Alexey Pajitnov’s favorite sport Tennis.
Damn, not even a minute in and I found something wrong. This is going to suck.

0:52 - 1:05: He goes to explain there were two versions on the NES. One made by Nintendo, and the other by Atari STOP!
The game was made by Tengen. Technically, Tengen is part of Atari, but you don’t hold up a copy of Klax or the NES Shinobi and say that they’re from Atari. Just say Tengen.
Because the “Atari” version came first, that’s what he’ll start with.

1:05 - 1:27: “Before beginning, you get to select your difficulty level.” These “Captain Obvious” statements are annoying.
He also points out we can select which song we want, and asks “I wonder if they have any Van Halen?” and the last option is the word “Panama” edited in. On cue, the song plays with him responding “Bitchin’!” Ugh.
You know the NES isn’t capable of full songs like that. Which reminds me, what’s the point of this joke? Was it more “wacky humor”?

1:28 - 1:55: The Bores drones on how the game works. Did anyone seriously need Tetris explained to them? I just can’t understand why he did this.
Oh, and he does a cutaway where he places an NES cart in his shelf and they all disappear just like the game. Holy crap, a gag that actually makes sense! It’s not a funny gag, but it makes a lot more sense than the tour bus in Monster Party or the Final Fantasy menu in Kool-Aid Man.

1:56 - 2:04: Here he just continues to praise the game. Good God I’m bored.

2:05 - 2:27: And now for something completely HORRIFYING! IG remarks that between levels, Russian dancers will come out and entertain you. This prompts a lame scene where he’s dancing and asks the above sprite about their paycheck. If that wasn’t insulting enough, he tells us that doing well enough brings out the maidens, prompting a similar joke asking for one of the maiden’s phone numbers.

What’s the point? Is this his attempt at sketch comedy?
It’s like he doesn’t know what he wants. A review show or a sketch show? Instead we get this twisted hybrid that causes more harm than good, a complete raping of comedic and common sense.

2:27 - 2:43: IG remarks that the block start falling faster and the game gets harder. I can’t even say “It’s like some kind of video game” because that statement is beyond idiotic. Why does this need mentioning? WHY WHY WHY?
God, how much longer is this? *Video Length: 9:58* Ohhhhhhhhh…

2:43 - 2:52: After complaining about common video game design, we cut to him in a wide-angle shot. That means something is going to appear.
I was right, a Tetris block falls from the ceiling. That’s not funny.

2:52 - 2:57: “When you pick this game up, I guarantee you’ll be addicted, and have a hard time putting the controller down.’ EPIC FORESHADOWING!
Explaining what “addicted” means, that seems redundant.

2:58 - 3:16: “Now this maybe a stupid question…” Well you are an idiot so any question you ask is stupid.
The Bores wonder what the bars on the side screen do. Uhh, they’re your stats. They tally how many blocks you dropped. This is obvious by the shapes at the bottom of the bars. He then wonders if anything happens when they get to the top. Why do you care?

3:16 - 3:38: Here’s why he cares, he wanted to do another pointless montage! Oh good, because we haven’t had enough of those.
Oh my God, the “Winter Games” action in previous reviews was bad, but this takes it to another level in “not even trying.” You don’t button mash Tetris! What kind of moron does that? Seriously, try button-mashing Tetris. You will lose.

He also plays a remix of Korobeiniki that, according to the description, he obtained from Overclocked Remix. Who remixed the tune? He doesn’t credit them. That’s one step ahead of the Ghosts N Goblins review where he didn’t credit OC Remix at all.
And this montage is just borrrrr- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE? E-mail me for a pizza roll…

3:38 - 4:00: IG then has us guess what happens next, and realizes it’s nothing. He forces some anger and calls the game “an ass-biter”. That’s a rude thing to call a great game, especially for something as minor as the stats. He continues to whine that they should put a warning that the bars are pointless.
I’ll tell you what’s really pointless, this video’s padding! You spent the last minute whining about something that had no point! Padding! You could have cut this entire minute out, there’s no point to it! Did you really need to make this video 10 minutes long?

4:02 - 4:07: “Tetris is a very addicting game, and despite all its flawls it’s still a great game.” What flaws? *looks through notes* The only “flaw” you pointed out was the bars. What the smeg are you talking about? Are you actually counting “the game gets harder” as a problem? I’m going to pretend that isn’t the case.

4:07 - 4:55: He continues to play us for fools, asking questions that I don’t give a crap about. Then… history lesson time. Crap.

“Tetris was created by a guy in Russia” Really? You couldn’t say Alexey Pajitnov? Makes me wonder how many he takes he did trying to say it before giving up and going the lazy route.
Yeah it’s another boring history lesson that goes into little to no detail. He mentions how the Tengen version was pulled from shelves after four weeks, keep this in the back of your head.
After that, he starts his review of the Nintendo version of Tetris.

4:56 - 5:11: He brings up that they scaled back on certain things. Like how there’s only 3 songs to choose from (as opposed to four… ONE LESS! What a piece of shit!) and that one of the songs is Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. For some reason he whines about it and says they included it if “your gamer” (seriously what?) wanted to be a musical conductor.
*slams head against wall* Oh, how dare they put music from a RUSSIAN composer in a game made in RUSSIA. HOW DARE THEY?
Seriously Chris what the hell? Did you want butchered 8-bit versions of Running with the Devil and Jump? Do your research dimwit.

5:12 - 5:18: He also points out that Nintendo dropped the 2-Player mode that was “popular in the Atari version” Stop! How could the Tengen version be popular? It was only on store shelves for 4 weeks, and Nintendo didn’t advertise unlicensed products. In fact, you said it was only on store shelves for 4 weeks.
Here’s how to rework this line “The Nintendo version doesn’t have a 2-Player mode, making the Tengen version a little bit better.”
“What a bunch of shit-burgers” Meh, still better than “Diarrhea Dickwaffles”.

5:19 - 5:36: IG mentions that the game is basically the same (no really?) but one thing that annoys him is when the blocks get close to the top, the music starts to speed up. Followed by … this “Now this causes me to get nervous, and could mess me up.”

WOW! IT’S LIKE SOME SORT OF VIDEO GAME!
Not even the combined sarcasm of Channel Awesome could emphasize how fucking stupid this video is.

5:36 - 5:55: Bores doesn’t want to “put up with this aggravation” because he has enough to worry about. Yeah, like spammers, trolls, haters, people discovering your address because you were too stupid to make up a fake one for your DVD… oh wait you mean the game.
Yeah it’s another one of those bits where he lists everything you d-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz *wakes up* Is this necessary, having to list everything you do in Tetris?

Part-way through, he lists one worry is “scoring points”. Waaaaait, go back to his Ghosts N Goblins review. He did an entire bit about how the points are useless. So suddenly they matter? By the way, the GnG bit was him LISTING off enemies.
So he loses a game and lets out a forced f-bomb.

5:56 - 6:07: We cut to Bores in another wide-angle shot. Oh no, don’t repeat this joke. Well, he did. Only this time, he used the Thwomp from Super Mario World. This is lame. Knowing how predictable he is, he’s going to do this “joke” one more time.

6:07 - 6:30: “Although the Nintendo’s Tetris…” Wait what? *sighs* GRAMMAR!
The Bores comments that the game is as addicting as heroin and he can’t get enough. You’re not. He decides to stop playing since he’s been going for 4 hours. You’re really not. But he can’t take it and he “NEEDS MOAR TETRIS”. Yes he really is. He’s doing the cliché “this game is like a drug” joke. You know, he had a chance of making this interesting… wait that was a lie. Well he had a chance of … something. Moving on.

6:30 - 6:51: He starts his review of Tetris 2. He complains that there are shapes not found in the original. Um, those are the same shapes. They’re altered to fit the game’s gravity algorithm (where blocks hanging in mid-air will fall). He also points out the flashing block are “bombs”. No, they’re just special blocks. The objective is to get rid of them, kind of like Dr. Mario.

UPDATE: According to a commercial for Tetris 2, those things ARE bombs. Thanks to MindOfCrazyPerson222 for clarification.

6:51 - 7:00: After mentioning the game has bombs, we cut to ANOTHER wide-angle shot. I was right, he is doing this joke a third time. Chris Bores: Raping the Rule of Three since 2007.
Only this time, a bomb falls down and explodes.
What was the point of this gag? Actually, I think I know. It was to distract idiots that drool at shiny objects, hoping they won’t notice how atrocious the video really is. There’s no point to this gag other than “SPECIAL EFFECTS!” There’s a good reason people say the Star Wars prequels don’t have soul, it was too artificial with the overabundance of effects. Effects are a tool, not a crutch.

7:01 - 7:28: He explains more of the gameplay and whines that this game is bad, wondering why Nintendo revamped the concept. Easy, they had a hit with Dr. Mario and still had the rights to Tetris, so they combined the two into an awesome Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of puzzle gaming.
Then he makes a comparison to pissing in a radiator, with visual aids. Damn, Chris Bores actually made gross-out humor dull. That takes talent.

7:29 - 7:42: Bores wonders why he’s still playing this game and realizes he’s addicted so he stops. *gets a phone call* Hello? Oh hi Japan. You can see what’s coming next? Well, thanks for the info. Sayonara.

7:43 - 8:01: A title card shows up saying *10 Minutes Later* and surprise surprise, Bores is going through withdrawal. Man, he is the most unconvincing addict ever. He’s even worse than Sam’s mom in Transformers: RotF after she ate those pot brownies.
I don’t think addicts in withdrawal cross their arms and rock back & forth. It’s a very violent and painful process … or so I heard.

Then a weird-sounding voice calls out, and a custom-made sprite of Eggplant Wizard appears. Seriously, Eggplant Wizard? He’s not even the main villain in Kid Icarus.
Nobody remembers Eggplant Wizard, other than his appearances on that piece of shit Captain N. Thus, furthering my theory that Bores’ knowledge of video games comes solely from Captain N.

So why is Eggplant Wizard here? Apparently, he’s a dru- excuse me, puzzle game dealer. He offers the goods with Dr. Mario and Bores gives in. He sounds more like a child that sees candy than a drug addict.
For a “video games as drugs” joke done right, go watch the Awesome Video Games episode about Game Genie.

By the way, Eggplant Wizard is another Big Lipped Alligator Moment. After he gives IG the game, he’s never seen or mentioned again.

8:02 - 8:52: So IG begins his review of Dr. Mario. Well, he hated Tetris 2 so I wouldn’t be surprised if he hates this game.
He drones on how the game works, and man I’m bored. He notes it starts out easy but gets “real fustrating” later on. VIDEO GAME!
IG also compliments the music and says that he wouldn’t mind putting the songs on his iPod. I want to make a “I’m a gamer guys, really” joke here but something tells me not to.

8:53 - 8:57: “This game is pretty awesome…” BULLSHIT! You say Tetris 2 sucks but this game is awesome? They’re basically the same game! Maybe he realized he wasn’t “Irate” enough and needed to force some bile onto something. That seems like a good explanation for a lot of his idiotic complaints.
He also notes there isn’t anything he would change. Let’s just finish this.

The video ends with Bores doing ANOTHER montage. More unconvincing Winter Games action set to the Brawl remix of Dr. Mario’s Fever music. This time he edits in the virus sprites around his head for… some reason, and has this slack-jawed look on his face that makes him look like he suffered head trauma.

He then wakes up the next morning with a “puzzle game hangover” (ugh) and declares that doesn’t want to play puzzle games anymore. So he looks for a game he hasn’t played and decides on Yoshi’s Cookie, which happens to be a puzzle game. This prompts some “dun-dun-dun” music and… the video ends. Was this meant to lead up to something? Like a Yoshi’s Cookie review? Well, that review doesn’t exist so why the dramatic sting? Do I really care?

This review was heinous. Again, why review Tetris? There are tons of bad games out there, but he plays the world’s most popular puzzle game. Did he review Tetris just to have that stupid addiction plot? He failed at that as well, there was no message or joke PSA telling us “avoid puzzle games” or something. It seems like he thinks of a cliché TV plot and then finds a game he can use for that, no matter if it’s good or bad.

This review gave me a headache. We’ll see what happens next time. If Bores doesn’t release something soon then a Redux Recap of *sees what’s next* Oh shit.

51 comments:

  1. You know as much as I hate to say this, I thought that Eggplant Wizard sprite was a nicely-done interpretation of how the character might have looked like had there been a 16-bit "Kid Icarus" sequel on the SNES.

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  3. @vnisanian2001
    Well that's because Bores didn't make the sprite. He got it from a sprite artist linked in the description.

    @MindOfCrazyPerson222
    Oh really? I'll fix that then.
    You're right, it's not perfect but it doesn't suck.

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  5. "Tetris was created by some guy in Russia". You know if Bores has a hard time saying Alexey Pajitnov (or Al Alcorn for that matter) how the hell is he going to talk about Shigeru Miyamoto and "all those Asian guys" when he reviews Nintendo and Sega in his HoVGs?

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  6. CONTRA...

    @joncat503

    He'll probably say "Sheg-gur-roo Mai-yam-motto" and "Gum-pee Yock-Koy"

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  7. @BatDan
    For those interested, there's actually a page about Tetris's history up until the release of Nintendo's Tetris. Sure, it is outdated, but it is summarized and goes to the point:

    http://www.atarihq.com/tsr/special/tetrishist.html

    I honestly failed to see what was so scandalous about Tetris with Bores's snorefest, and he dedicated less than a minute about said scandal.

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  8. "Well a new Neo episode is up and this time I review 3 games that fans have requested me to do."

    Why can't he simply call his fans "people"? As in "review 3 games that people have requested"?

    Geez, it's like he's trying to say to his haters, "I HAVE FANS, SEE? I'M CALLING THEM FANS, THEREFORE I HAVE FANS!"

    But it's not just updates, he does it in his trailers, too. Remember the one (I forget, it was either a HoVG trailer or IG Neo, or something) where he called his fans "You Fans" instead of "you". He has fans (granted stupid ones), so why can't he convince himself of that?

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  9. I wonder what his Irate the 80's will be about, My guess is that he is going to talk about old candy bars and complain how they changed the wrappers. If he lived in the UK he probably would have bitched about how 'Marathon' changed it's name to 'Snickers'.

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  10. Mmmmm algorithms.
    Anyway good Redux but sadly I didn't read it all just for this reason: Bores is so borring that READING about him is making me fall asleep. I don't undersatdn what goes through this mans mind when he makes his video's.
    Maybe his "I Rate Stupid Things that don't matter IN ANYWAY" will be about how company's change their logo every couple of years or maybe he will continue on about Yummy Mummy.

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  11. One day he's going to fuck up badly. Worse than he has now.

    He's going to touch something like Grand Theft Auto, Modern Warfare, Halo, Street Fighter, or Metal Gear Solid, and people are going to tear him the hell apart. He's already pretty close to the line with that Tekken deal.

    I really don't get why he does it. If he REALLY, REALLY wants to entertain people, I can sort of appreciate the devotion he's got. I know I'd have stopped long ago if I was him.

    But he just does EVERYTHING wrong!

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  12. What is wrong with your face?! Damn, that made me chuckle. RLM is hilarious. Nice recap as always.

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  13. I'm surprised you didn't point out at the end of the review he writes "NOT ANOTHER PUZZLE GAME!" on-screen just to make sure he gets the joke across. Not only was it obvious enough to begin with, but it would've been closer to actual comedy if he didn't bring that to the viewer's attention; that'd be like if in Attack of the Clones when Obi-Wan tells Anakin "sometimes I feel like you're going to be the death of me" there was a notice on the screen that said "ANAKIN BECOMES DARTH VADER AND KILLS OBI-WAN." You either get it or you don't, but having to explain the joke on-screen like that just ruins it for everyone. Of course, it was all fucking stupid in the first place, but it's funny how CB can pile up bad jokes to make them even more horrendous.

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  14. @The_Soul_Gauge
    It was in the trailer for his Ghostbusters review.
    "Because You fans Requested it". It looks like "fans" was added later.

    @HH Kelevra
    And when he does, I shall sit in my chair and laugh at all the fools that believed he was legit.

    @Mezase Master
    Yeah, by the end I had lost my mind so that small detail slipped.

    It would also be like in Symphony of the Night, when Maria tells Alucard she's looking for Richter Belmont and he thinks of Trevor Belmont (8-Bit sprite and all) a big warning would appear saying "THIS IS TREVOR BELMONT FROM CASTLEVANIA III! ALUCARD WAS ALSO IN THIS GAME!"
    It ruins the joke for fans of the Castlevania series and in general.

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  15. That gag about the games dissapearing fails. The other three rows were full, so they should have dissapeared before bores put the game there.

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  16. Actually with how few real people are requesting reviews from him he probably could answer all their requests if he just produced content a little more often.

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  17. When he did that montage of the blocks falling to see what the bars did, he was actually at the demo in an emulator and he sped up the emulator by a lot to make it seem like he actually got that many bars.

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  18. I would LOVE to see the bores touch Super Mario 64 or Legend of Zelda Ocarina of time, or maybe Chrono Trigger, and see everyone rush to his home to pummle the living CRAP out of him, ( I would be there too(. Who else here would kill him if he reviewed those three games?
    Great redux Dan, see you al next time!

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  19. Nice use of that Scrubs clip. Personally, every time Bores gives one of his "facts," I always hear "Isn't that cute? BUT IT'S WRONG!" from 2 Stupid Dogs.

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  20. Hey everyone. At the risk of sounding a little like Game Dude, I have a few new Bores vids up for your viewing pleasure. First is a teaser for my new TheIR ATE Gamer series...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77JyJLSCrGQ

    And also the first episode of said series.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moaIJfD_pz8

    Be sure to watch both since the teaser uses different footage than the actual episode. Thanks and excuse my shameless whoring. Keep up the Lord's work you do here, Batdan. Viva la Bores resistance!

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  21. Whoring isn't bad when you're whoring awesome stuff like that Erich!

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  22. I wonder why Bores always tries to bash great games and not bad ones? Is he awaiting new material from AVGN to steal upon? But anyways does one of his "fans" give him motivation for a new review?

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  23. At least he's consistent with the Rule of Three. It wasn't funny the first time, and it was just as unfunny the last two times.

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  24. @Anon May 22, 2010 8:15 AM

    Probably because he knows so little about videogames he honestly can't tell a classic from a bad one, or more likely because there are more searches for well-known games so he'll get more views.

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  25. @David

    You hit the nail on the head, youtube proles will look up well known games on the internet and not obscure crappy games like Action 52 (Yea I know WE have heard of it but we are actual gamers and not wiitards)

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  26. I'm thinking it's both.

    On "being unable to tell a classic game from a bad on": He seems to enforce that games like ZAMN, Ghosts N Goblins, and Super Mario Bros. 2 are bad, unaware of their status.

    On "only doing well-known games for views": This mostly applies to his Neo reviews. Take the Super Smash Bros. Brawl review, the only reason he did it was to gain views from SSB fanboys and cash in the hype.
    Even though his Brawl review came out two months after the game did.

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  27. Daniel, it's funny how you bring up His SSB and the fanboys of that game.

    I remember an Irategamer fanboy, who has since fallen into obscurity by the name of Doubleninjaebisumaru (Ebisumaru comes from the name of Goemon's sidekick in Konami's Goemon series). From what I remember, in his first video, "What I Think About Everyone", he slammed everyone in that video, except for Irategamer. He called him a great person, and said that enjoyed the Irate Gamer DVD, more than the Xbox that he got for Christmas.

    In one of his videos, which was a response to Armake21's SSB review, he called him "an asshole of epic proportions", claiming that he hated the game when all he did was comment on how shitty the online was (something Bores did not do in his review). DNE praised the Bore's review of that game, completely ignoring all the flaws that you, Daniel, pointed out in your recap last year.

    Lastly, I remember DNE being a huge fanboy of Sonic '06, saying that it had great graphics, great gameplay and music, and sweet story, slamming just about anyone who hated the game (even spax3), and said to go watch IGN for a real review, when IGN hated that game.

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  28. @ Batdan(about SSMB)

    *ahehehehem*
    See?! That's EXAAAAAAACTLY what I'm talking about! :D oh no, wait, I mean D:

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  29. A thought just entered my mind folks.

    What if the karma hammer DOES land on Chris and he's hit with some SERIOUS misfortune? I'm talking being crippled, going blind, get in a car accident, diagnosed with cancer or maybe (gasp!) dying! I'm not saying I want this to happen to Chris (Not one for wishing death on people) but what if it really happened? Would the internet (or just Youtube) experience a sort of Michael Jackson effect with Bores, painting him in a more positive image despite all his flaws? Or will he just be ignored and slowly over time be forgotten?

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  30. @ Kama

    It would likely be the latter, with everyone forgetting about him and moving on. In order for Bores to have a Michael Jackson effect, he would have to be remembered for something worthwhile (in Mikey's case, his music). Bores has nothing worthwhile or entertaining (at least not in the way he wants it to be, anyway).

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  31. I think we'd all move on to the Game Dude for our bashing needs.

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  32. @Darthgamer

    You just gave me an idea. We could make new emails and youtube accounts and get him to review somthing like Chrono Trigger on the DS (though it is severel years old), or the WiiWare port of Cave Story. Or what about Mario Gaxaly 2, that is very new and he would probaly hate it. That would get so many people angry.

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  34. @ Kama

    I'm pretty sure you have to have done something... you know... good before the MJ effect kicks in. Jackson was popular as hell, and for good reason. "He made Thriller. THRILLER."

    Same will probably apply to George Lucas once he kicks the bucket. He completely trashed the prequels, but he'll sure as hell be remembered for the originals.

    That said, I'd probably feel terrible if that happened to the guy. After all, all he did was make bad youtube videos about videogames. But I doubt his passing would make the videos any better. At most they'd probably pass into Ed Wood 'so bad it's good' territory. Which is basically where they are now depending on how you look at them.

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  35. @HH Kelevra

    How dare you put Irate Gamer and Ed Wood into the same league, Ed Wood had a great imagination and unlike the Irate Gamer his movies don't make me want to punch the guy for insulting things I like for no good reason.

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  36. Dan are there any YT partners you actually like? It seems than most of the decent people on youtube will start their own site or move to other places like funnyordie.com

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  37. To me the best YouTube Partners are the ones that have their own sites.
    College Humor, The Onion, Failblog, etc.
    Most YT Partners annoy me to no end.

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  38. @Anonymous(May 23, 2010 12:12 PM)

    And how in the world would he hate Super Mario Galaxy 2? He'd like just about any Mario game, other than Super Mario Bros 2. He's actually going to praise the FARK out of it, like he did with Brawl. Yeah, this game will be better realized than Brawl, mainly because you don't have BAAAAAAAing fanboys attacking people for not liking Brawl, but it's a big game and it's Mario!

    And here's another thing I want to point out: SMG@, along with all the other titles other than the first Super Mario Bros and the Lost Levels, gives an ABUNDANCE of extra lives! The challenge is still there (Luigi's Purple Coins, anyone?), but with so many extra lives in hand, a Game Over is as likely to occur as Bores finally ending his Youtube career! Obviously, Contra games, Gradius games, Ninja Gaiden games, etc. often do not gove that abundance of extra lives, and instead makes sure that you'd either make it out of the levels alive, or get a Game Over. But that's okay, there are continues, but WAIT, that resets your score to zero!

    So, that, I belive is why Bores hates these kinds of games, and not Super Mario Galaxy 2!

    I'm still waiting for him to make unnecesary slander on the Gradius series. He did it to Contra, so he might do that as well!!

    @ Kama
    Good question. in our current state, some of the more hateful haters would actually wish death on him anyway. After all, Death is the only way to make some bogeyman or whatever go away, as far as these deranged individuals know. But for me? I at least hope that he gets kicked off of Youtube...forever.

    @ Batdan
    Ummm... Doesn't Bores has a website, too?

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  39. @AngrySun

    Also note that arcade "Contra" had limited continues as well.

    You know, now I'm thinking he might go after "Gradius" after that last stunt I pulled. I mean, doesn't he have friends that hunts down any anti-IG video and block the user?

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  40. @AngrySun86
    THAT DOESN'T COUNT! He doesn't upload exclusive stuff there like The Onion or College Humor.

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  41. @AngrySun86
    There's also the fact that SMG2 can be beaten without collecting all the stars; he probably wouldn't try to get the extra stars, specially if those are very hard to obtain.

    @vicviper592

    He probably doesn't even know what Gradius is. If you even saw his Lost Trip video with Scotty, you may have realized that he couldn't say the Easter Island's heads name (Moai), which is also another prove that he lies about his 20 years expertise in gaming. I mean, any gamer of that caliber who doesn't know anything about South American ancient cultures might at least relate them vaguely to the doughnut spitting giant heads that harass Vic Viper.

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  42. @AngrySun

    But your lives do not save, but that is not a problem. You have a good point, but other then that he would hate it, he would probaly call the weird gravety jumps a flaw. If Bores could figuure out how to use the homebrew channel to cheat, be probaly would.

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  43. @polo_sc83
    Okay that's just a big stretch. That isn't "proof" he isn't a hardcore gamer. Yes there's already plenty of proof, but that one can be seen as floundering.

    @Anon (May 24th 7:36 AM)
    Well, that would mean Bores would have to play more than one hour of Super Mario Galaxy 2. He can't play more than an hour of a game, otherwise it's not a full review.

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  44. @BatDan
    Yes, you may be right. Just thinking too much.

    As for SMG2, are you saying that playing for more than one hour doesn't count as a full review? Shouldn't be the opposite (or at least a more complete review)?

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  45. I was making fun of Bores only playing modern games for an hour and giving them full reviews.

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  46. A little off topic, but I just took a look at the Comments on the IG page of Gottgame:

    Quote by SWAG:

    "Just so you all know comments are deleted if they are profane and have zero positivty. chris has no control over and doesn't even ask us to moderate these. Thanks for watching!"

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  47. Wow. Looks like SWAG doesn't understand the concept of criticism either.
    "zero positivity" Well what do you want?

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  48. I knew it already after trying to comment on the Blip videos and having my comments removed. Sorry SWAG, that's not how things work for a reviewer with the slightest popularity.

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  49. Apparently, SWAG only stands for positive criticism.

    But, considering for how long he has been Bores's sword & shield and adamantly refusing to admit what is obvious, he must be really stupid to expect people to continue playing by his terms.

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  50. You forgot to overlook the phrase at 8:01-8:07 "Ah, Dr. Mario. Now its time to cure what ills ya...... and in my case its tetris addiction" HE KEEPS EXPLAINING HIS JOKES! I mean didn't he just made a bad sketch explaining he had tetris addiction a few seconds ago? Why remind us again? He must take his fans for idiots...

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  51. "You don’t button mash Tetris! What kind of moron does that? Seriously, try button-mashing Tetris. You will lose."

    Come to think of it, isn't Tetris programmed such that it'll give you more S- and Z-blocks and fewer line pieces if it senses you're having trouble? And doesn't it determine that by looking at how much you're rotating the pieces?

    Not that he'd survive long enough to get to that point if he's button-mashing Tetris like in this video.

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