Why must you turn the past into a house of LIES?!

After another LONG wait, the Irate Gamers’ latest train wreck is here. History of Video Games Part 3 is full of inaccuracies, annoying effects, bad jokes, and some of the worst video editing I’ve ever seen. Maybe worse than his Time Machine video. Let’s just get this raping of the senses over with. Intro: “For over 35 years, video games have played a vital role throughout our history” Here’s something I want to point out. He started making this series in 2009, saying that video games have been important for over 35 years. The earliest year possible was 1974, back then video games were nothing. They were just small arcade games and the Odyssey (which nobody bought). The popularity of video games didn’t see a rise until the early 1980s, so even his intro is inaccurate. 0:44 - 1:05: IG starts droning about Computer Space being a failure, and Nolan Bushnell planning to start a company. “He looked to the Japanese language and found the answer, Atari.” Wow, there’s two MAJOR things wrong here. No mention that they were originally going to be called Syzygy Engineering? Because that was the original plan. Atari doesn’t come from “the Japanese language” it comes from a board game called Go, a game of Chinese origin. Sure, the word Atari is Japanese, Bushnell got the inspiration from a board game. 1:05 - 1:13: He drones about Bushnell buying pinball machines and selling them for profit. I like how the example he uses is a Simpsons pinball machine. I know The Simpsons have been around for a long time, but I don’t think they were around in the 70s. 1:15 - 1:27: More history, man this is boring. He talks about how Magnavox held a demonstration of The Odyssey and “it was alleged by a few eyewitnesses that Nolan Bushnell was in the audience.” If by alleged you mean “100% there” then yes. Random Waldo joke is annoying! Take this seriously you asshole! 1:28 - 1:38: “Nobody is sure if he was really in the building…” WHAT? Al Alcorn himself confirms that Bushnell was there! Did you do any research? Why am I asking that of course you didn’t! “You have no idea how much fact check-” NO! You liar! 1:38 - 1:42: Here he says Bushnell asked the engineer of his company “Al Acorn” to help. Wow, just like the “Might have been marketed as a board game” line from his last video, this one part debunks his claimed HOURS of research. It’s Alcorn you frak-wit, where the frak did you get Acorn? Fact-checking my ass! To add insult to injury, he also SPELLS it like that. Let me guess, this is like the “I know it’s a 6 not a 9, don’t explain the joke” situation isn’t it? If it is, then Chris Bores continues to be scum. He hasn’t changed. 1:43 - 1:47: What the hell was that? He was talking about building the game and then we see a bunch of random equations and the Periodic Table of Elements. I know math is involved in making games but not chemistry. This is a mess. 1:48 - 2:12: Blah blah blah making Pong blah blah blah boring shit. He mispronounces trajectory as “trajrectory” and God this is dull. Near the end of this section, you’ll see a common theme he’s going to repeat throughout the video. He imposes footage of the game over a stock image of the arcade cabinet. If you’ve seen The Soup, they do a similar thing only when they do it, it’s funny. When Bores does it, it’s lazy and hard to watch. 2:12 - 2:19: Now time for something unnecessary! Bores plays the game (while playing stock butt rock) and keeps yelling “yeah, sweet, in your face” when he scores a point. Never say “in your face” again! 2:20 - 2:46: Bores goes on about Atari placing Pong in the tavern Andy Capp’s and a few days later it stopped working. He shows this by having the game turn off like a TV screen. I don’t think that’s how it works. Watch this editing magic here. He mentions how the game stopped working due to too many quarters being in the machine (common knowledge). You see him go to the door of a modern day arcade cabinet and suddenly we zoom in and see a bunch of quarters pour out. Wow, that was definitely an Arcade’s coin collector, it looked nothing like a vault. 2:47 - 3:10: Zzzzz I really don’t care. If I wanted to watch the History of Video Games I’d watch Play-Value or G4’s Game Makers, they were interesting and they didn’t try to throw in idiotic jokes. He also mentions that Pong was making a lot more money than pinball machines. What I like to know is where he got this statistic, he never EVER credits his sources. A real history lesson credits where they learned this, but not Chris Bores nooo he’s too good for that. After all, the Internet IS full of inaccurate information. *puts down knife* Maybe later. 3:10 - 3:16: Bores then tells us with Pong’s popularity came a major problem, copycats. If I may borrow a quote from the Nostalgia Critic? LOOK OUT, IRONY! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE IRONY! Thank you. 3:17 - 3:49: He continues to ramble about how multiple companies copied the game and I’m losing interest from listening to these Wikipedia facts. Then he starts talking about Atari increasing production and releasing multiple versions of Pong. When he shows the various machines, he has a “psychedelic 60s background” for some reason. I don’t see the connection. 3:49 - 3:58: More boring history with his annoying voice. Who told him his voice was good enough for this? I know people give RedLetterMedia crap for the voice Mr. Plinkett uses, but at least he keeps me entertained and he’s actually funny. Speaking of RLM, if Plinkett reviewed a Mario game and called the Koopa Troopas “Koopa Turtles” I would find that funny. It’s something that Plinkett would do (like calling Jango Fett, Boba Fett). Bores is claiming to be a hardcore gamer, and if he can’t even use the proper name for one of the most well-known enemies in video games, why the frak is he still trying? Jeez, got off-track again. 3:59 - 4:24: We cut to a shot of… some city at night. Seriously, what’s the point of this shot? He’s talking about Atari, I don’t understand why this shot is in there. Bores starts his “review” of Space Race. Hmm, I think I’ve read this review somewhere before. I just wonder… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Race_%28arcade_game%29 Wow, hours of research indeed! He just copied the Wikipedia article. And to further show how he’s similar to Family Guy, Bores tells us we have to dodge meteors, asteroids (they’re the same size moron, a meteor is smaller than an asteroid thus you only dodge asteroids) and… Imperial TIE Fighters. This in aided by a TIE Fighter edited in and destroying the second player. Owwww my mind. By the way, he still uses the same explosion effect. I’m convinced that he wants to be the next Michael Bay. There was no reason to include that explosion. Sad thing is, people found that joke funny. What’s funny about it? There’s no reason for a TIE Fighter to be there! In fact, this game came out four years before Star Wars. *sighs* Moving on. 4:25 - 4:33: We cut to another unconvincing arcade cabinet (where he imposes the modern screen over the stock photo) as he blabbers on about the game being a commercial flop. How do you know this? Credit your sources! Maybe some of your fans want to find out about this too. Oh wait, now I know why you don’t credit your sources. Your fans will then see you’re a fraud for pulling these facts from your ass. 4:33 - 4:53: Here he begins his review of Gotcha, he notes that it’s based off the concept of “running around trying to catch the other person”. You mean tag? What’s wrong with just saying tag? Tag, you’re it. Another theme you’ll notice in this video is the blatant watermark in the corner. Why is that there? Is this to prove that “this is the only footage on the Internet and I have it so nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.” Because you failed at that as well when Mike ***** put footage of the games in his favorites. 4:54 - 4:59: We cut to Bores in front of an obvious green screen as he yells “this game sucks.” *sighs* You know I should expect that Bores hates every single video game, he seems to think every single game out there sucks. Even when it doesn’t he still says it sucks or is a piece of shit. Bores tries to walk off but runs into a bad special effect- I mean, the Gotcha wall. Is it me or does this joke remind you of something… Oh yeah the end of the AVGN’s Dragon’s Lair review. Only there, it made sense and was timed well. Here it’s annoying and out of place. 5:00 - 5:25: Bores starts to ramble again, talking about the game’s controversy and how the original controls resembled breasts and were later changed to joysticks. What, no penis joke? Note how most of what he’s saying is in the game’s Wikipedia article. We also get an unnecessary shot of Bores “groping” the game’s controls. Rather he’s groping a stock image of the game with his footage imposed on. This editing is horrendous. The Soup can get away with it because they make a new show every week, and it’s funny and entertaining. How did this shit take months? 5:26 - 5:43: He then brings up the controversial promotional flyer which shows a man groping a woman. He doesn’t understand what’s going on in this “pichure” (It’s picture! There’s a “Hard C” in there!) but suspects there’s “shenanigans afoot.” Is that what Jennifer called it? Then we get Bores looking at the picture, folding it up, putting it in his pocket and pretending nothing happened. Twice in this video Bores made himself look like a creepy pervert, keep your fantasies to yourself! 5:44 - 6:15: He begins his review of Rebound. Hey look there’s House of the Dead in the background, I didn’t know that game was from the 70s. Boring review, obvious points, ugh this is long for an eight minute video. When he loses, we get another “laugh now stare.” Only this one is at a real arcade. You expect us to buy that this game is at an Arcade like that? You’re a bigger fool then I thought. 6:16 - 6:24: More history, rather Wikipedia facts or facts he pulled out of his ass. How do you know the game failed? Can we any statistics at all? Sources? Are you just saying that to pad time? 6:24 - 6:42: We cut to a 3-D background of a car going through the streets. Where’s this from? Did Bores actually make this? Is this the real reason this video took months? It wouldn’t surprise me, he spent “hours” making the Press Your Luck board in Q*Bert and the fake Simon Says cards in the Odyssey review. Bores begins reviewing Gran Trak 10 and I honestly don’t care. Again he reads off the Wikipedia article and calls it a review. 6:42 - 7:07: Ohh man this next part is painful. Bores is in front of an obvious green screen as he prepares to play the game. He plays a bit and we cut to him in a real arcade using a steering wheel that looks NOTHING like the one from Gran Trak 10. It looks more like the one used in Daytona USA or San Francisco Rush. After some playing we cut back to Bores in front of a green screen as he “tears out” the steering wheel. Wow that is not convincing at all, it’s a fraking toy. Your editing is making Plan 9 from Outer Space look realistic! Because he “tore out” the wheel his car crashes and explodes, and yes he uses the SAME. EXPLOSION. EFFECT! Following that with a painfully long “laugh now stare.” This one seems desperate, like “please please please laugh at me, I worked hard on these effects.” 7:07 - 7:28: He starts to review Tank. Another boring, Wikipedia-fueled review. Though he went over a land mine and didn’t add an explosion effect. Holy crap, subtly. “It became Atari’s third popular game.” Actually, it wasn’t Atari that made this game… technically not Atari. Tank was developed by Kee Games, a competitor to Atari. It was revealed after Tank was released that Kee Games was secretly a subsidiary of Atari. See, this is the kind of thing you talk about in a history lesson. You talk about things like this, you don’t add retarded jokes, pointless montages, or badly-written “plotlines” involving movie characters from movies that I’d rather be watching than this shit! The review ends with Bores announcing that he’s doing the Atari 2600 next. Wait, what about the Fairchild Channel F? That came out a year before the 2600. Also, why does he have action figures on his TV? Why would he put action figures on his TV? Is this another “I’m a gamer guys, really” moment? Because that seems like a lot of fra- no FUCKING work just for a 5 second shot. This review was shit! Inaccurate facts, poorly-written reviews that were taken from Wikipedia, painfully unfunny jokes, and the fact that he keeps claiming it’s educational. It’s not educational, there’s nothing smart about this! Oh, look at the description. He calls this his “opus”. Go fuck yourself you egotistical dick. There’s nothing grand about this series, it’s shit, pure unfiltered shit that only serves as snark bait for parodies. Well, time to wait another 3-4 months for a video. I’ll keep doing the Redux Recaps until then.