Monday, May 3, 2010

Why must you turn the past into a house of LIES?!

After another LONG wait, the Irate Gamers’ latest train wreck is here. History of Video Games Part 3 is full of inaccuracies, annoying effects, bad jokes, and some of the worst video editing I’ve ever seen. Maybe worse than his Time Machine video.

Let’s just get this raping of the senses over with.

Intro: “For over 35 years, video games have played a vital role throughout our history” Here’s something I want to point out. He started making this series in 2009, saying that video games have been important for over 35 years. The earliest year possible was 1974, back then video games were nothing. They were just small arcade games and the Odyssey (which nobody bought). The popularity of video games didn’t see a rise until the early 1980s, so even his intro is inaccurate.

0:44 - 1:05: IG starts droning about Computer Space being a failure, and Nolan Bushnell planning to start a company. “He looked to the Japanese language and found the answer, Atari.” Wow, there’s two MAJOR things wrong here.
No mention that they were originally going to be called Syzygy Engineering? Because that was the original plan.
Atari doesn’t come from “the Japanese language” it comes from a board game called Go, a game of Chinese origin. Sure, the word Atari is Japanese, Bushnell got the inspiration from a board game.

1:05 - 1:13: He drones about Bushnell buying pinball machines and selling them for profit. I like how the example he uses is a Simpsons pinball machine. I know The Simpsons have been around for a long time, but I don’t think they were around in the 70s.

1:15 - 1:27: More history, man this is boring. He talks about how Magnavox held a demonstration of The Odyssey and “it was alleged by a few eyewitnesses that Nolan Bushnell was in the audience.” If by alleged you mean “100% there” then yes.
Random Waldo joke is annoying! Take this seriously you asshole!

1:28 - 1:38: “Nobody is sure if he was really in the building…” WHAT? Al Alcorn himself confirms that Bushnell was there! Did you do any research? Why am I asking that of course you didn’t!
“You have no idea how much fact check-” NO! You liar!

1:38 - 1:42: Here he says Bushnell asked the engineer of his company “Al Acorn” to help. Wow, just like the “Might have been marketed as a board game” line from his last video, this one part debunks his claimed HOURS of research.
It’s Alcorn you frak-wit, where the frak did you get Acorn? Fact-checking my ass!
To add insult to injury, he also SPELLS it like that. Let me guess, this is like the “I know it’s a 6 not a 9, don’t explain the joke” situation isn’t it? If it is, then Chris Bores continues to be scum. He hasn’t changed.

1:43 - 1:47: What the hell was that? He was talking about building the game and then we see a bunch of random equations and the Periodic Table of Elements. I know math is involved in making games but not chemistry. This is a mess.

1:48 - 2:12: Blah blah blah making Pong blah blah blah boring shit. He mispronounces trajectory as “trajrectory” and God this is dull.
Near the end of this section, you’ll see a common theme he’s going to repeat throughout the video. He imposes footage of the game over a stock image of the arcade cabinet. If you’ve seen The Soup, they do a similar thing only when they do it, it’s funny. When Bores does it, it’s lazy and hard to watch.

2:12 - 2:19: Now time for something unnecessary! Bores plays the game (while playing stock butt rock) and keeps yelling “yeah, sweet, in your face” when he scores a point. Never say “in your face” again!

2:20 - 2:46: Bores goes on about Atari placing Pong in the tavern Andy Capp’s and a few days later it stopped working. He shows this by having the game turn off like a TV screen. I don’t think that’s how it works.
Watch this editing magic here. He mentions how the game stopped working due to too many quarters being in the machine (common knowledge). You see him go to the door of a modern day arcade cabinet and suddenly we zoom in and see a bunch of quarters pour out. Wow, that was definitely an Arcade’s coin collector, it looked nothing like a vault.

2:47 - 3:10: Zzzzz I really don’t care. If I wanted to watch the History of Video Games I’d watch Play-Value or G4’s Game Makers, they were interesting and they didn’t try to throw in idiotic jokes.
He also mentions that Pong was making a lot more money than pinball machines. What I like to know is where he got this statistic, he never EVER credits his sources. A real history lesson credits where they learned this, but not Chris Bores nooo he’s too good for that. After all, the Internet IS full of inaccurate information. *puts down knife* Maybe later.

3:10 - 3:16: Bores then tells us with Pong’s popularity came a major problem, copycats. If I may borrow a quote from the Nostalgia Critic?
LOOK OUT, IRONY! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE IRONY!
Thank you.

3:17 - 3:49: He continues to ramble about how multiple companies copied the game and I’m losing interest from listening to these Wikipedia facts.
Then he starts talking about Atari increasing production and releasing multiple versions of Pong. When he shows the various machines, he has a “psychedelic 60s background” for some reason. I don’t see the connection.

3:49 - 3:58: More boring history with his annoying voice. Who told him his voice was good enough for this? I know people give RedLetterMedia crap for the voice Mr. Plinkett uses, but at least he keeps me entertained and he’s actually funny.

Speaking of RLM, if Plinkett reviewed a Mario game and called the Koopa Troopas “Koopa Turtles” I would find that funny. It’s something that Plinkett would do (like calling Jango Fett, Boba Fett). Bores is claiming to be a hardcore gamer, and if he can’t even use the proper name for one of the most well-known enemies in video games, why the frak is he still trying?
Jeez, got off-track again.

3:59 - 4:24: We cut to a shot of… some city at night. Seriously, what’s the point of this shot? He’s talking about Atari, I don’t understand why this shot is in there.

Bores starts his “review” of Space Race.
Hmm, I think I’ve read this review somewhere before. I just wonder…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Race_%28arcade_game%29
Wow, hours of research indeed! He just copied the Wikipedia article.

And to further show how he’s similar to Family Guy, Bores tells us we have to dodge meteors, asteroids (they’re the same size moron, a meteor is smaller than an asteroid thus you only dodge asteroids) and… Imperial TIE Fighters. This in aided by a TIE Fighter edited in and destroying the second player. Owwww my mind. By the way, he still uses the same explosion effect. I’m convinced that he wants to be the next Michael Bay. There was no reason to include that explosion.

Sad thing is, people found that joke funny. What’s funny about it? There’s no reason for a TIE Fighter to be there! In fact, this game came out four years before Star Wars. *sighs* Moving on.

4:25 - 4:33: We cut to another unconvincing arcade cabinet (where he imposes the modern screen over the stock photo) as he blabbers on about the game being a commercial flop. How do you know this? Credit your sources! Maybe some of your fans want to find out about this too. Oh wait, now I know why you don’t credit your sources. Your fans will then see you’re a fraud for pulling these facts from your ass.

4:33 - 4:53: Here he begins his review of Gotcha, he notes that it’s based off the concept of “running around trying to catch the other person”. You mean tag? What’s wrong with just saying tag? Tag, you’re it.
Another theme you’ll notice in this video is the blatant watermark in the corner. Why is that there? Is this to prove that “this is the only footage on the Internet and I have it so nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.” Because you failed at that as well when Mike ***** put footage of the games in his favorites.

4:54 - 4:59: We cut to Bores in front of an obvious green screen as he yells “this game sucks.” *sighs* You know I should expect that Bores hates every single video game, he seems to think every single game out there sucks. Even when it doesn’t he still says it sucks or is a piece of shit.
Bores tries to walk off but runs into a bad special effect- I mean, the Gotcha wall. Is it me or does this joke remind you of something… Oh yeah the end of the AVGN’s Dragon’s Lair review. Only there, it made sense and was timed well. Here it’s annoying and out of place.

5:00 - 5:25: Bores starts to ramble again, talking about the game’s controversy and how the original controls resembled breasts and were later changed to joysticks. What, no penis joke? Note how most of what he’s saying is in the game’s Wikipedia article.
We also get an unnecessary shot of Bores “groping” the game’s controls. Rather he’s groping a stock image of the game with his footage imposed on. This editing is horrendous. The Soup can get away with it because they make a new show every week, and it’s funny and entertaining. How did this shit take months?

5:26 - 5:43: He then brings up the controversial promotional flyer which shows a man groping a woman. He doesn’t understand what’s going on in this “pichure” (It’s picture! There’s a “Hard C” in there!) but suspects there’s “shenanigans afoot.” Is that what Jennifer called it?
Then we get Bores looking at the picture, folding it up, putting it in his pocket and pretending nothing happened. Twice in this video Bores made himself look like a creepy pervert, keep your fantasies to yourself!

5:44 - 6:15: He begins his review of Rebound. Hey look there’s House of the Dead in the background, I didn’t know that game was from the 70s.
Boring review, obvious points, ugh this is long for an eight minute video. When he loses, we get another “laugh now stare.” Only this one is at a real arcade. You expect us to buy that this game is at an Arcade like that? You’re a bigger fool then I thought.

6:16 - 6:24: More history, rather Wikipedia facts or facts he pulled out of his ass. How do you know the game failed? Can we any statistics at all? Sources? Are you just saying that to pad time?

6:24 - 6:42: We cut to a 3-D background of a car going through the streets. Where’s this from? Did Bores actually make this? Is this the real reason this video took months? It wouldn’t surprise me, he spent “hours” making the Press Your Luck board in Q*Bert and the fake Simon Says cards in the Odyssey review.

Bores begins reviewing Gran Trak 10 and I honestly don’t care. Again he reads off the Wikipedia article and calls it a review.

6:42 - 7:07: Ohh man this next part is painful. Bores is in front of an obvious green screen as he prepares to play the game. He plays a bit and we cut to him in a real arcade using a steering wheel that looks NOTHING like the one from Gran Trak 10. It looks more like the one used in Daytona USA or San Francisco Rush. After some playing we cut back to Bores in front of a green screen as he “tears out” the steering wheel. Wow that is not convincing at all, it’s a fraking toy. Your editing is making Plan 9 from Outer Space look realistic!
Because he “tore out” the wheel his car crashes and explodes, and yes he uses the SAME. EXPLOSION. EFFECT! Following that with a painfully long “laugh now stare.” This one seems desperate, like “please please please laugh at me, I worked hard on these effects.”

7:07 - 7:28: He starts to review Tank. Another boring, Wikipedia-fueled review. Though he went over a land mine and didn’t add an explosion effect. Holy crap, subtly. “It became Atari’s third popular game.” Actually, it wasn’t Atari that made this game… technically not Atari.
Tank was developed by Kee Games, a competitor to Atari. It was revealed after Tank was released that Kee Games was secretly a subsidiary of Atari.
See, this is the kind of thing you talk about in a history lesson. You talk about things like this, you don’t add retarded jokes, pointless montages, or badly-written “plotlines” involving movie characters from movies that I’d rather be watching than this shit!

The review ends with Bores announcing that he’s doing the Atari 2600 next. Wait, what about the Fairchild Channel F? That came out a year before the 2600.
Also, why does he have action figures on his TV? Why would he put action figures on his TV? Is this another “I’m a gamer guys, really” moment? Because that seems like a lot of fra- no FUCKING work just for a 5 second shot.

This review was shit! Inaccurate facts, poorly-written reviews that were taken from Wikipedia, painfully unfunny jokes, and the fact that he keeps claiming it’s educational. It’s not educational, there’s nothing smart about this!
Oh, look at the description. He calls this his “opus”. Go fuck yourself you egotistical dick. There’s nothing grand about this series, it’s shit, pure unfiltered shit that only serves as snark bait for parodies.

Well, time to wait another 3-4 months for a video. I’ll keep doing the Redux Recaps until then.

69 comments:

  1. When I first watched this I didn't see any glaring facts being wrong, since I'm not very familiar with that time of videogames. He was however so incredibly unfunny it hurts. Thanks for pointing out the faults, you are funny in what you do here.

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  2. "Your editing makes Plan 9 from Outer Space look convincing!"

    Haha. I can imagine Bores going "oh that's perfect, people won't notice".

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  3. aggh, i just wrote a big long response and as soon as i was on the last sentence, firefox froze and i lost it all, so im going to have to write it all again, which is hard because im going to have to remember sentences in which its hard to figure out which time period they come from

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  4. Something tells me Bores isn;t even playing those games. He might be, but he was obviously NOT playing them in an actual arcade. I would think if he found those machines, he would want to at least show them in the video. At the end he is obviously proud as hell to own a 2600, giving us a grand little "pose" followed by a "Haha, check this out bitches" look on his face. What a complete jackass.

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  5. Has anyone noticed how in the intro, during the two seconds of Burger Time footage he walks through an enemy? Why? Why does he need to Game Genie through two seconds of footage that nobody will remember?

    Also, why is he playing Gotcha with both controllers? I know it's supposed to be a joke about groping, but it's still retarded.

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  6. I bet you he didn't play any of those games at the arcade he went to. He just wanted an excuse to go to an arcade and play some shitty driving and on-rails shooter games, then he decided to record his Winter Games action so he could use it in his video.

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  7. Great recap, I dont know how you manage to write a full review on these things, cause his usual reviews are so crap you can at least have some fun with them, but this history of video game thing is so ground shatteringly boring i dunno how you manage to write a full recap of it, Though you done well pointing out all the stupid mistakes he made. I havent got much sleep all week due to insomnia and work overload so it was hard for me to watch this garbage, but i managed to remember a few things i wanted to discuss. First of all, why?? why why why why why?, Im talking about the history of video game series in general,what is the point, chris wants his show to be stupid corny humour, so why is he giving us this?, for one thing he states at the beginning of every episode, " video games have played a vital role throughout our history" I love video games as much as anyone, but no, no they really have not, they are just made for our entertainment and a way for us to waste time, they have provided us many memories and characters we will cherish from our childhoods, a way to escape reality for a while, as well as a good way to spend time with friends, but they are in no way a vital part of our history, the 2 world wars are a vital part of our history, the invention of electricity is a vital part of our history, the rise of the roman empire is a vital part of our history, the big bang is a vital part of our history, but saying video games are a vital part is like saying the invention of checkers or crossword puzzles is a vital part of history. Also its not something completly and utterly epic, like you want everyone to believe, its just a story of a bunch of business decisions, its not a story of heroism or classic mythology that will blow peoples minds, its just a bunch of people and companys who wanted to make money, and im not saying that its wrong that people will be interested in things like that, I love wrestling and I have bought many books from the guys at wrestlecrap chanelling the worst of wrestling and the downfall of wcw which invlove mostly backstage business decisions and terrible decision making, but if you want to tell people the facts about anything history or business related, it will only be interesting if you yourself are interested in the topic, and have a vast knowledge of what your talking about, you dont fit either of these categories chris bores, you have no interest in the history of games, you are only doing this because you want people to think you are a gamer but no one believes you because of the mindblowing mistakes and lack of research you do, so people will not listen to your stupid history lesson cause they realise you have no interest and will thus watch a video or read a book with someone who actually has a love of what hes talking about. But maybe chris bores is making this for his fans?, Well no, cause his fanbase is far too young to know any of this stuff, and they are not going to care about Business of games they are too young to appreciate or care about, they just want your terrible toilet humour and you to dress up like a skeleton and set the jewish race back a few hundred years, so why present them with a history lesson of something they know nothing about, and dont care to know a thing about? Maybe he wants to teach kids something new... but if so why does he fill this review with pointless humour and ditractions, not EVER take into consideration when these games were made ( entire oddessy review) and make such ground breaking mistakes, i just dont see how chris can think this series will appeal to anyone. Eek, that was a long rant, I was just annoyed, ill try and make the other things i wanted to discuss more brief. Why does he open every one of these with " we must go back to the begining", should that not have been just an opening to his first review, will he still be saying that in ten years time when he reviews the playstation 2?

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  8. Does chris think that showing the periodic table and equations will make him seem smart,it does not, it makes him seem like he desperatly wants what hes saying to be taken seriously, perhaps that would have worked better if he was taking about the development of materials rather than the transition of Ideas into a computer game? Im a chemistry student but i wont bore you and try and act like a smartass, im just saying the only reason for it is chris trying to act smart, and failing, the equations dont make sense at all and its just a pointless backdrop, i mean why not just put something that makes even less sense like a car driving down a dark str... nevermind Why does Chris bores constantly make himself seem like a pervert?, Does he think guys relate to this?, maybe a small minority of us do but i think its safe for me to say i talk for most guys when i say you come of as a complete creep and its embarassing to watch this, we dont get turned on by pixelated women, we dont want to pretend we are touching boobs when playing a video game, we dont put advertisements from the 70s in our pocket to masterbate to, you just look like a creep and your isolating any possible ( ok, theoretical) female fans you could have. I hate when the Avgn does this too, talks about breasts and tits in games, irates not alone here, but when video game reviewers or anyone in media act like perverts and treat women with no respect and acts like it should be accepted we should all drool and act like complete children over the slightest hint at any kind of sexuality, even worse in a freaking video game. Its a load of crap and it makes it even harder to defend the claims that guys are all shallow. But like i said chris is the worst for this, and i dont know why he does it, its not funny, and it just puts across such a bad image of himself, he comes across like a rapist, and if i was jenifer id shutter every time i watch him pull off that kind of " joke". Its getting to the point in which i wouldnt be shocked to see him masterbating to princess zelda with a bottle of vasaline on the table ( along with a pile of nintendo power magazines and a gomba sprite walking up and down the table cause thats the way all gamers act). Stop making star wars jokes, theyre not relevant, and your just picking random things about star wars, its not clever, look the nostalgia critic makes plenty of references to other movies, but they relavant as he always places them in moments related to what hes watching, " Hello belle from beauty and the beast!" " Junior!! ( quote from the last crusade during junior... a connection:o something the irate gamer never does) they are also varied, theres some favourites but it is never overdone as the way he uses them changes). Avgn does this in a different way, he makes subtle references to movies, quoting for example spinal tap when reviewing games ( i just have a two word for this game, shit shark) it means people who havent seen the movie can enjoy what hes saying, but its an extra treat for big fans of the movie as well. Irate gamer just shoves star wars and only star wars references in with no context no relevance, and its never a clever joke, its just " heres a star wars character, laugh!" Last thing i want to say about this game, when taking about gothca " this game sucks!" .. aside from the usual not explaining his points and giving no reason as to why it sucks, he then states " sadly, this game never became a hit with the public" why is he sad about this if he thinks the game sucks? Shouldnt he want this game to do badly if he thinks it sucks, i mean if he has fond memories of the goonies, why does he hate it... erm... Yeah, why do people say his videos have improved again? You can see why i was annoyed about my firefox freezing, sorry for giving you a lot to read, but hopefully it can lead to some fun discussion:p

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  9. @Anon (May 3rd 9:07 AM)
    The kind of face that you just want to punch.

    @Anon (May 3rd 9:21 AM)
    It's kind of sad that those "he has to use Game Genie for every game" jokes are becoming a lot less humorous.

    The Rule of Funny doesn't apply if the joke itself is not funny.

    @Jarv156
    And some of those scenes he was in front of a green screen. So what's the point of going to an Arcade?

    @Irish Anon
    *claps* Damn.
    I'm with you about the Star Wars jokes, they need to fucking stop. There's no point, no purpose, and they come out of nowhere.

    Well, when the AVGN talks about tits it's not perverted. It's mostly done for comedy. Not sure where you got that.

    There's a lot wrong with that video. Are people really that impressed with effects that they'll say this was quality? *sighs* YouTube Proles.

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  10. Chris Bores has mania, no I'm dead sure that he has some mental condition. The simple fact that he can get SO MANY facts WRONG in 6 minutes. Heck, even commentators on National Anthems and WWII videos get their facts straight most the time. This guy, is un-fucking believable. Either he is insane or he is the greatest troll to have ever lived, no-one is this bad.

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  11. @Anon (May 3rd 9:21 AM)

    he is a game genie whore, but in this case, he peppered that sausage before running through it.

    I like how he seems to struggle saying "cut-throat industry tactics" at the 0:25 mark during the intro. I cant believe in a year of this series, were barely at part 3!

    Going back to part 1 of the series, i always laugh at the 5:38 mark. If this is really May 24, 1972, that Nissan Titan would be more news than any video game! This guys amazing!

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  12. You know....People often used to say that if Bores at least admitted he was a rip off and at least did research, he would get more respect. I SAY NAY! why? because this so called "History of Video Games" is an insult to gamers all over the world! he got SO many frigging facts wrong it makes me want to cringe! Maybe Mr. Twenty years should pick up the "Ultimate History of Video games" or some other books on video games instead of abusing wikipedia!

    To quote Armake21 "He is, without a doubt, the SCURGE of Youtube, he came from out of no where and bout his way into fame!"

    I would finish the quote but the fact is, no one has forgotten Irate Hack, for 3 FRIGGIN YEARS he has been doing this show, and people STILL fail to see that he is a lying, stupid, ignorant FRAUD!

    I can only DREAM of the day when Irate faggot does something so mind boggingly bad that everyone, including is brain dead fanbase calls him out for, tracks him down, and beats him until he looses conciousness.

    The scary part though? After all of the stupid "History" lessons, I now know more than Bores does, and I've only been gaming for 11 years!

    Well, as long as there are people out there who are willing to call out the Bores, there is hope!
    Until next time people!

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  13. @Batdan , my bad I meant to say Spoony I was just retyping that and trying to remember excactly what i said cause firefox froze and i had to say it twice, Dont get me wrong i love Spoonys videos, but the whole acting like a perv thing is a real pet peeve of mine,and i always find it embarassing to watch, his comments about quistus were the only thing that stopped his final fantasy 8 videos from being perfect if you ask me. The nostalgia critics another victum of this, like in his mortal kombat annihilation review, i know both of them just do it for comedy, and are very respectful of women in real life, but its just a pet peeve of mine more than anything, i find it embarassing to watch. The AVGN on the whole doesnt do this kinda thing at all really, when he does talk about women I dont really find it to be in a disrespectful manner, as he makes it clear hes making fun of the game and not being a pervert, such as in Atari Porn, or in his new action 52 review in which hes just stating how strangely proportioned the womans breasts are, and refers to her as big tits woman, hes not saying " awww yeah, this is getting hot!" The irategamer is by far the worst in this category as hes being disrespectful and doesnt make it clear hes doing this for a joke, he just seems like a genuine creep who gets horny over pixelated video characters, and he doesnt seem to be making jokes most of the time, hes just a creep He comes across in his movie and video game reviews like a girl whos obsessed with twilight solely for how hot edward is, its just so offputting for me.

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  14. @fattoler
    Christopher Walken: Dis guy, is un-fuckin-believable. Sorry had to do it.

    @Darthgamer
    Thing is, he claims to be using books. But apparently "they were really vague on information." Gee, sounds exactly like YOUR videos.
    What exactly is he looking for?
    Poor Armake, he keeps getting stepped on.

    @Irish Anon
    Oh right Spoony. He just released a new review and it is awesome.
    Well that's your pet peeve, and I respect it. I'm not that bothered when Spoony or The Critic do stuff like that.
    However it is creepy when Chris Bores does it, as you said it doesn't sound like he's joking. Though, he's such a bad actor it's hard to tell exactly what he's feeling.

    I know Linkara really hates the objectification of women in comic books, so you're not alone on the issue.

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  15. Rofl, Al Acorn.

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  16. Yep, the irate gamer is a hypocrite as he said the internet was full of lies but he decides to use wikipedia for his research.

    Also I think I know why his fans laugh at his jokes. His fans are usually 9 to 13 year olds (Gee how ironic) I auctually have proof of that

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq4m6cdl59Q&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGS_qRGr3g&feature=related
    (by the way its auctually sirwerd1 the guy who made "Avgn is an idiot")

    Also didn't he say he was using books? What books did he use? Printed out wikipedia papers stapled together and titled Wikipedia history of games?

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  17. Yeah, linkara really makes some good points in his videos on such matters, and on videos in which they are being more serious, such as spoonys movie reviews and nostalgia critics old vs new videos they are nothing but class acts, them kind of jokes just dont appeal to me, but judging actresses solely on acting ability.. chris bores on the other hand in his movie reviews .... well.....I wonder how jenifer felt.. she probably didnt watch his videos. Although his perving over woman is overshadowed by his perving over special effects. Anyway, in about... 5 years time, when chris bores gets to the sega genesis, do you think hes going to a) Still say that it was released to compete with the super nintendo. b) say it was released to compete with the NES and act like his sonic and mario review never existed or c) Do the right thing and admit that he made a mistake before, apologise for his mistake and move on from there. C is the only option that would make that particular video be anything more than a complete farce that no one in their right mind would take seriously, but we all know how willing the irate gamer is to admit he made mistakes and learn from them, though in this case admitting he was wrong is an absolute necessity so i dont know what option he'll go for. Thanks for the heads up on spoonys new review, he hasnt updated in a while so i forgot to check, I loved it, yet another way in which references can be effective, comparing the movie to star wars and star trek in a manner than makes perfect sense, not just " ill stick a rancor in here cause its a character from star wars people will recognise, and people will be like, hahaha your totally random, what does THAT have to do with ghosts n goblins, hahahahaha!!"

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  18. The fottage form the raceing game looked fake. Notice how he NEVER TURNS. NOT ONCE.

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  19. Well Bores, you've certainly out done yourself this time. Your latest train wreck blows away the previous entries in terms of poor research, shitty jokes and overused special effects. Punch yourself in the face for a job well done.

    Seriously, this jackass continues making terrible video after terrible video for the sole purpose of momentary gain. I refuse to believe this guy has a fanbase exceeding 60 people. With so many disgusting faults, you'd have to be clinically brain dead to deem this guy a form of entertainment.

    One of the most amusing things I find about Bores is how he treats this fiasco of his so damn seriously. He frequently brags about how this garbage takes so much time and effort, despite the fact some folks are pumping quality work in a week's time. His acting is so fucking poor, there's no way to separate himself from his IG character. James is capable of altering his voice slightly to differentiate himself from his fictional creation. Not so with Bores. He sounds exactly the same in all his shitty videos.

    Which brings me to another point. As Dan mentioned, James cares a good deal about his work and fanbase. This is one of the reason why we know so much about him. James has a house, a car, a wife, friends, cats and a job he loves doing. He's practically living the American dream! Not only that but he comes off as a genuinely amicable fellow who'd you love to have over for dinner.

    Bores? We know jack shit about him, except he lives in Cleveland. Why is he such a recluse? Ashamed most likely. His retarded fans may say that it's because "He doesn't want the attention that fame comes with". Bullshit. If that's true then why does he brag about the difficulty involved in making these videos? Truth be told, he WANTS fame, he WANTS to be recognized, but he ain't getting it.

    His real personality is a complete mystery, though many people believe that it's the same as his IG character. I can accept this, His sad attempts at perverted humor come across as genuine other then comedic (Guess he's still single). With what I know about him, Bores just comes off as a pathetic slimeball whom you can't help but detest.

    On my final note, I love how he bashes Wikipedia in video comments. Despite the fact this video was practically built from the information on Wikipedia. Hypocrisy at it's finest ladies and gentlemen.

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  21. Good recap, but what really stood out for me that you didn't exactly go into was that he says Bushnell looked to "the Japanese language" for the Atari name. He doesn't, you know, explain what the word means or anything... it'd be like saying Square "turned to the English language" for their name without explaining, you know, the geometric importance of the word.

    By the way, Dan -- it's spelled "fuck." Thanks.

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  22. I love how the paper that supposedly has the picture on it looks like printer paper rather than a magazine ad... why would he have printed that out? Oh, of course, for the joke.

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  23. "I honestly don't believe that footage is legit, especially Space Race and Grand Track 10. They look like something he animated."

    I feel the same way about Space Race, the animation is too smooth for 1973. It wouldn't be hard to animate the footage he showed and it doesn't look like the actual game : http://www.old-computers.com/museum/software_detail.asp?id=464

    The score is too small, the ships are too big, the stars are dots instead of dashes, all the sound effects were added by Bores, the asteroids don't move horizontally and they don't feel like something from the game.

    I guess Bores animated his footage because he couldn't find anything from this game. But hey, the internet is "filled with tons of historical errors" so I may be wrong!

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  24. @Kama
    Couldn't have said it better.

    @MindOfCrazyPerson222
    I usually don't mind reviewers using emulators (as long as it's a high quality image without "Unregistered Hypercam 2") but I do prefer getting the footage from the actual game.

    @Justin Holmes
    Oh yeah, I should have explained that "Atari" was a nominalized form of the verb "Ataru" meaning "to hit the target".

    Also, watch Battlestar Galactica and you'll understand what I meant by "frak".

    @Anon (May 4th 4:52 AM)
    That's good info man.
    You know, he probably did animate all that footage. Maybe that's why this video took months, because real footage is impossible to obtain. So he recreated what he thought was the real thing.

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  25. I had a YT Prole mouth me off (under my Alt.) on the "Al Acorn" bit. Saying it was a misspelling and a "big deal" without even listening to the part.

    Can't be surprised with other like-minded users saying things like...

    " i found waldo! =D "
    " Oh noes watch out for them Imperial Tai Fighters!!!! "
    " waldo! "
    " 5:40 omg it is the funniest thing ever yet today you made my day lol "
    " Where's Waldo... lol nice one Chris"
    " In your face player 2! i laughed so hard!!! "
    " Waldo :] "
    " ur videos are rlly good, but why do they take soo long :/ "
    " 1:26 I found wally! "


    And let's not forget our good, ol' friend lukestarkiller441:

    "well i don't see you making a whole history of video games. if you think that it's bad then why don't you try to make a history of video games and put it up in a month. go ahead i dare you. i'll be waiting. or are you just a coward who's jelous of bore's popularity? prove me wrong. i dare you."

    Idiots

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  26. I actually saw one of his fans flat-out say he was 9 years old.
    Once again, proving that the only real fans he has haven't gone through puberty.

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  27. @ DLAbaoaqu

    Reading those positive comments on IG's videos is like being back with my 1st-to-8th grade classmates. In other words, similar to AVGN's "trap-a-wet-smelly-dog-turd-in-an-airtight-container" situation. They would have found the Waldo and Tie Fighter appearances HYSTERICAL.

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  28. Speaking from a personal standpoint, I only started to use the internet regularly when I was about 12, and I know that this sounds really old fashioned but I would say I don't think anyone in the single digits should be allowed to use the internet. It's not just the porn and the molesters but it's just the sheer amount of hatred that the internet houses that I wouldn't want my children to be exposed to.

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  29. A few ironic comments from that video:

    "his trying to school numbskulls like you about the history of games. His not reviewing pong u fuktard."

    hi chris i'm skyler and i'm 9 years old . but i love you're show . wached every episode . can you please review iron man 2 when it's out . if you could do that it would awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and will there be a history of video games part 4 with the nitendo after part 3b with the tv games. (the aforementioned 9 year old)

    "My comment was removed..Chris, Why not review ALL reviews like this? this is less AVGN and more original. This is GOOD. You can still use the jokes/actors stuff." (err...)

    "nice video man. and to everyone out there wondering why it takes so long for him to make these vids, he has to get the info, get some footage and gameplay, and he has to edit. you'd all complain if he got the facts wrong. you'd complain about bad acting and poor editing. so if you dont like him, fuck off. "

    And then I gave up because YouTube has the most counterintiutive reply system ever.

    I began visiting forums at 10. I was the most mature person on those forums, so that's not saying much.

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  30. WTF is wrong with that nine year old is he seriously saying the NES came out right after the 2600? God Chris Bores is ruining the young people (i'm 14 BTW just saying) Thoose Close Captons were great. You know what is better than this the Super Mario Bros. Super Show.

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  31. STUPID comment time

    " MAN SHUT UP!
    AVGN AND IG ARE QL
    THEY BOUTH TEACH US ON THERE OUN WAY
    I JUST LIK THE APENYEN OF THEM BOTH OF THE GAMES I USE TO PLAY
    ps:sorry for the spelin'"
    If this guy is sorry for spelling then he WOULDN'T WRITE LIKE THAT!!!!

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  32. I saw that earlier.
    What kind of kid would spell cool "QL"? Just... wow I've lost faith in humanity once again.

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  33. I know this is a stupid question, but... are you DLAbaoaqu from youtube?

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  34. Oh ho ho, no I'm not DLAbaoaqu. He does read this blog though.

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  35. I actually liked this video. It had a lot of stupid moments for parody videos. Other than that...yeah, it was Chris at his best to pretend to be legit and a loveable pervert, just to come off as a complete idot and a possible rapist.
    I laughed at the part where he said how nobody is sure if Bushnell was at the Odyssey revealing. And the arcade part with the steering wheel? It would be a lot more convincing if I wouldn't see that bright light glowing onto you!

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  36. that was cool i thought he said equal
    QL + cool = WTF

    Also did anyone read the Close Captions?

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  37. @ DLAbaoaqu

    My brain just melted from reading those comments.

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  38. You know, for me it was a bit random how he chose some of the games. To be honest, other than some controversys, there's really not too much to say about Gotcha, even less about Rebound and Gran Trak 10 (which is probably why he stupidly states that those games are failures, since Wikipedia's information on those games barely reaches four small paragraphs at most).

    If he was any smart, he would have reviewed games like Breakout, which definitely was more influential and even spawned copycats that became franchises on their own (such as Arkanoid).

    ...But I guess that he didn't think of it during his "exhaustive months of research".

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  39. @ Anonymous May 4, 2010 12:20 PM

    Don't worry about the children. They'll grow up and regret every watching the Irate Lamer show. If it's so bad, and of course it is, than there's a good chance that these children could, oh, I dunno, look back at it in disgust when they grow up. It's like playing Ghostbusters or watching TMNT III when you were a kid. Even if you defended those terrible pieces of wasted media at the time, or at least accepted them, they will haunt you in your dreams, the pain would never go away, and the experience will turn you into a cynical, raging mad man. The Nerd wasn't the only one who experienced those atrocities. I did too! And hey, that's how I relate to the Nerd.

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  40. @AngrySun86

    That is unless they just forget what they saw and simply shrug it off as silly kids stuff.

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  41. Nice recap. You should do a rant about the Irate fanboys throwing accusations around about AVGN ripping off Seanbaby. I thought we were over this, but people STILL bring it up. It's annoying.

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  42. @ Anon above me

    Omg come on, you gaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiis.
    (rubs hand across his nose)
    Seanbaby is a Comic Book Guy and James is a Movie Buff. How could they have exactly anything to do with each other, gaaaaaaaiiiiiiiis?*Shniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif!*

    Okay, maybe that accent wasn't such a good idea, you gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.

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  43. @ Anon May 4, 2010 12:20 PM

    I think your being too kind. You should have said the Darkstalkers American cartoon has WAY more dignity than Chris's massive unnatural disaster of a show.

    And for anyone who wants to know how shit the Darkstalkers cartoon is:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLZIWZszuh8

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  44. @Jarv156
    All hail the imperial PUDDING! There are lizards in my pants.

    Could be worse, could be... KOMBAT TIME!

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  45. A Guide into making a Chris Bores History of Video Games!! Sorry guys I was Bored and knew google image search was his #1 way of making these slideshows he calls the history of video games. There were a few I couldnt find and a few that are very close, same machine just different angle. He didn't play any of these games, they are all Google images with superimposed games playing, either emulated or fake. This goes in order with the video

    ---------------------------

    Nolan Bushnell
    www.atarimagazines.com/v3n12/Bushnell.JPG
    Google Image Search - Nolan Bushnell - Page 1

    Computer Space
    http://blogs.test.bcu.ac.uk/elibrary/files/2009/10/Computer-Space1.jpg
    Google Image Search - Computer Space - Page 3

    Atari Headquarters
    http://www.atariprotos.com/other/sunnyvale/atari10.jpg
    Google Image Search - Atari Headquarters - Page 1

    Japanese Alphabet
    http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/103803/2/istockphoto_103803_japanese_chinese_letters_jagged_border.jpg
    Google Image Search - japanese letters - page 1

    Random pictures of pinball machines

    A supposed picture of the Magnavox convention circa 1972
    (I say supposed because not only does this look like something else, in his history of video games part 1, a black and white image is shown while he is talking about the early 70s, yet a new Nissan Titan is on the right side of the pic) - Check this out to see a much better video of the incident, where Nolan Bushnell himself says he was there, Bores really understates it and makes his attendance seem like an urban legend - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9EWb6a2Shg&NR=1

    Ralph H. Baer
    http://www.boingboing.net/images/_oimages_pongmuseum.jpg
    http://www.bmigaming.com/Images/ralph-baer-bill-harrison-brown-box-video-game-console-1969-picture.jpg
    Google Image Search - Ralph H. Baer - Page 1

    Nolan Bushnell
    http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Technology/Pix/pictures/2009/2/5/1233830300518/Nolan-Bushnell-001.jpg
    Google Image Search - Nolan Bushnell - Page 1

    old tv set

    Atari Headquarters again, same as above

    Al "Acorn" - will probably be fixed in the "Remastered Edition" haha
    http://lh3.ggpht.com/mauroberimbau/SBqLEHIstFI/AAAAAAAACEs/sEYXkpN90c0/s400/Atari_gruender_DW_W_400238g.jpg
    Google Image Search - Al Alcorn - page 7
    (probably will come out faster under a different search heading)

    Math Equations and Pong Footage

    Pong Arcade Cabinet
    Google Image Search - Pong Arcade - Page 1, Several results that match, compare the pictures, same machine but slightly different angle


    Pong Creators
    http://lh3.ggpht.com/mauroberimbau/SBqLEHIstFI/AAAAAAAACEs/sEYXkpN90c0/s400/Atari_gruender_DW_W_400238g.jpg
    Google Image Search - Al Alcorn - page 7

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  47. Andy Capp's Video Footage
    Bar pictures/bar owner

    Pong Arcade Cabinet
    Google Image Search - Pong Arcade - Page 1, Several
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15734058/

    Some Coins, the Bores, more pong arcade pics
    Jump to the 4:00 mark to see the real quarter container, or watch it all to see a much better video - From Discovery Channels "The Story of Computer Games" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vROxoEyB9UE

    B&W pics of a supposed Atari assembly line and some girls, a crankshaft turning

    Pin-Pong
    Pong Doubles
    http://discrete.mameworld.info/Atari/Atari.htm#PongDoubles
    Quadrapong
    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/2/2085881_3535050534.jpg?v=0
    Super Pong
    http://www.arcade-history.com/?n=super-pong&page=detail&id=3382
    http://discrete.mameworld.info/Atari/Atari.htm#SuperPong
    DR. Pong
    http://discrete.mameworld.info/Atari/Atari.htm#PuppyPong


    Space Race
    http://www.arcadeflyers.com/?page=thumbs&db=videodb&id=6190
    Google Image Search - Space Race Arcade - page 2
    (Same Pic, but his is in color)

    http://www.arcade-history.com/?n=space-race&page=detail&id=3374
    Google Image Search - Space Race Arcade - page 3

    Exclusive Space Race Footage that looks very fake

    More Pinball Machines

    Gotcha Arcade Cabinet
    Exclusive Gotcha Footage already seen on youtube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s34d3Rm-VZY

    Game Advert/Pervert Bores
    http://kotaku.com/213909/arcade-flyer-art-saturday-gotcha

    Exclusive Rebound Footage already on youtube
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vo1I00cqwA

    Gran Trak 10/Exclusive Footage/Stupid Faces by Bores
    Footage looks fake, car never turns once

    Tank
    http://20thcenturytech.com/w/images/2/29/Tank_01.jpg
    Google Image Search - Tank Arcade - Page 1

    Exclusive Tank Footage

    Anyway, there is no reason it should take this long for Bores to make his videos. Its all recyclyed junk that gets the Bores twist. Read this instead, much better than Bores

    http://classicgames.about.com/od/history/tp/HistoryofClassicVideoGames2.htm

    http://www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/2000/the_history_of_atari_19711977.php?page=1

    http://www.scienceclarified.com/scitech/Virtual-Reality/Arcades-to-Avatars-Virtual-Reality-in-Art-and-Entertainment.html

    http://www.atarimuseum.com/videogames/arcade/arcade70.html

    http://discrete.mameworld.info/Atari/Atari.htm

    http://www.system16.com/hardware.php?id=756

    And definitely watch the Discovery Channel video "The Story of Computer Games", its 5 parts on YouTube

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vROxoEyB9UE

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  48. @atebit
    Holy shit. Nice job man. I tip my hat to you, if I had a hat.

    Bores claims to have taken months to work on HoVG 3. How long did it take you to find all that?

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  50. @BatDan
    not long, a few hours maybe, including distractions like finding some cool sites that had better info on the History of Video Games. A couple even say what Atari means, one claiming it means "Check" like when playing Chess, the other saying pretty much what Nolan says in the Discovery Channel video, "you are about to be engulfed", same meaning as "check" I guess. I had to think like Bores to find that Japanese alphabet too. A few pics are missing, but maybe he found a good database of arcade cabinet pics, I kept it short and usually found the pic within the first few pages of a google search.

    I think the most important thing is that he possibly faked that footage of the 2 exclusive games, Space Race and Gran Trak 10. It just all looks very fake. I dont know why the other 2 have his watermark, they are already on youtube. the Gran Trak 10 track can be found on the internet and he could have recreated it. Id like to see someone whose familiar with the game confirm if the cars movement is consistent with the real game. Its not hard to draw up an Atari race track and animate the car moving along. But it does have the sound of the car in the background while it is first shown so I dont know. In Pong and Rebound we clearly hear the sound of the game. Space Race has fake sounds, fake asteroids, and Gotcha also has no sounds but it may not have any. Tank looks pretty convincing though, im not sure if its available, or how he got the footage

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  51. You know, it wouldn't bother me that he faked the footage if he was honest about it, instead of saying "Hey guys, this footage doesn't exist anywhere else on the internet because I'm awesome! In your face, losers!" ...

    By the way, he (finally) updated his website:

    "After tons of research, the video is finally posted for your viewing pleasure!
    And just to let you all know, I'll be going back to a few more regular episodes of the IG show before venturing onto HOV4.
    I should have a NEO episode later this week (time permitting of course)"

    Yes, because it takes forever to make a three-minute review of a video game where all he says is "Super cool!".

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  52. I have this idea. I think I heard Asaliari might RaR this garbage. So why not show him all the stuff atebit just collected. This could help debunk the Bores's video alot.

    And I hope his NEO review isn't "Super Street Fighter 4". I could imagine him saying that half of the characters are useless.

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  53. @vicviper592
    I just sent Asalieri atebit and MindOfCrazyPerson's posts. Hopefully those help him.

    Knowing how Bores is always Late to the Party, he might review the original Street Fighter IV.

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  54. @BatDan
    I was not stepping on Armake before, but after seeing his new video titled "Pay attention" I have lost all respect, infact, even before that video, I was starting to lose interest in him, he had started to become a sony fanboy, and he stopped being funny!

    But the final straw was his "Pay attention" video. If you ask me, it was just a big fat "Screw you fans, armake21 is dead, there is only marcus"

    He apparantly hated his old reviews you know, the ones that put him on the map?

    Its sad to see one of youtubes most respected reviewers take this turn in life. But if most still like his new stuff, thats fine, I have just lost all interest in him,
    See ya!

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  55. It wasn't the fact that he refused to put up his videos that annoyed me.
    It was the fact that he promised to put up all his old videos, only put up like 3 videos (one wasn't even complete), complained that splitting them up was too hard, and now he's back to saying "Fuck my old videos and fuck you if you want them."

    Pick something and stick with it!

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  56. What I find really sad is that 99.999% of his fans won't know any better about the history of video games so they'll believe ANYTHING he says, even if he gets his facts wrong. That I find really sad and I get the feeling he's taking an advantage of his fans.

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  57. @Bahamut
    Most likely because most (if not all) of his fans, like himself, don't really give a shit about video games.

    Any real gamer will see through his farce sooner or later (hopefully sooner).

    Despite that, some of his former fans mostly were pissed off by his attitude, rather than getting their facts straight.

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  58. ok watch the Gran Trak 10 footage and compare it to these screen shots of the actual game

    http://www.gagagames.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/grantrak10.jpg

    http://www.system16.com/screens/trak10.jpg

    http://thegreatgeekmanual.com/images/geekhistory/march/gran-trak-10.jpg

    http://www.old-computers.com/museum/software/arcade_atari_grantrack10_ss_2.jpg

    His numbers on the timer look different, a lot thinner. The left side is double zero, 00, and in the real game, its simply 0. Unless there were different versions, im calling it a 100% fake

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  59. @DLAbaoaqu

    I laughed.

    @BatDan

    The whole reason I stopped watching Armake21 is he can't pick something and stick with it. It's frustrating.

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  61. "Installement"
    Wow, it's like he's not even trying.

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  62. Why do I get this sneaking suspicion that Chris Bores does bugger all for 2 weeks and then suddenly remembers that he has a youtube channel.

    "Oh wait! I've got sum yootube thingy where I getz munehz from and I hazent uploaded a video in a while, tyme to maek a review! Let's see... der iz dat moovie Ion men tew, letz get sum googlez and do a voiceover! Then in leik another week I'll announce a proper review, then the next month I'll do sum filming, getz the costums and the special affectz, and then I'll release a trailer anf then the review and at the end of the munf I getz MONEH! Megalolz"

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  63. "Includes the first ever footage of games to hit the internet"

    Did he just say that the footage in his video is the first time ever to be uploaded to the internet???

    I thought he did "extensive research" to find that footage across the internet...

    More lies and arrogance?

    Or just the usual poor English?

    He fail English? That's unpossible...

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  64. Irate Retard fails yet again! I am much younger than he is, and I know way more about the history of video games than he does, because I actually did research on a game site that has information on all the past game consoles (I forgot the name of that site, sorry! If you know that site, let me know, please!).

    For all the videos he makes, he convinces people that he's a real gamer, tells terrible jokes, and gets information from Wikipedia. Why he became a YouTube Partner is beyond me, I cannot stand this asshole... >:(

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  65. Not to mention, the RCA Studio II also came out before the VCS/2600... by a mere nine months.

    When James Rolfe was doing his Pong Consoles review, he at least mentioned both the Channel F (which doesn't look too bad) and the Studio II (which was very obsolete, even by 1970s standards). BTW, you should watch Gamester81's reviews of those systems, too.

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  66. I don't think he got his facts from Wikipedia. Even though I agree that Wikipedia has several incorrect statements, I think his information is more inaccurate than Wikipedia.

    So I think, no I don't think, I know he pulled this out of his ass.

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  67. Something you missed is that when he played Gran Trak 10, it never shows the car turning.

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  68. @jodanranger
    That's something I didn't notice until later. Every time the car turned it cut to him or a different shot. Bores was too lazy to animate the car turning so he used the skills he learned from watching Plan 9 from Outer Space.

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  69. The thing that pisses me off the most is that the "Japanese Alphabet" ISN'T JAPANESE AT ALL. It isn't even Kanji. It's Chinese. And I know that because I'm a Chinese myself.

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