Quite a few things to cover.
The week of September 21st saw two videos, both related to books.
First one is about TMNT. The “Ultimate Visual History”.
*opens video* “Hey gamers!” … You’re not talking about a video game! You’re talking about a book, based on a franchise of comic books, cartoons, and movies! Yes I know there are games, but they’re all based on the cartoons or movies. Why not open the video with “Hey Ninja Turtles fans” or something that makes sense!
Nitpicky rant out of the way.
The video is mostly Bores flipping through the book, pointing at a page and saying it’s cool. I just saved you eight minutes. There’s no substance, and he basically just spoils the book. Why even buy it now?
The second video is about the book he wrote. Ghost Hunting 2.0, I still can’t believe that’s the title. Hoo boy does he spout bullshit.
I mean, ghost hunting is already bullshit, and the only audience for this are the ignorant unwashed masses. … *looks at comments* GAAAAH! Why did I do that?
At the time of this posting, the book is out. I do not have a copy because my wallet will cut off my fingers if I pay for it. I imagine someone will buy it and leak it all over the internet.
The video is nearly ten minutes long, I’ll go over the highlights.
“You’ll be able to find it on Barnes and Nobles dot com” Nobles?
He says if you buy from his site, he’ll autograph it. Let’s see, if the book costs $14, and in three years the value will be about 25 cents, then an autographed copy will be abooooooouuuuuutttt 27 cents!
“For me to title a book Ghost Hunting 2.0, you better know your crap” Good to know Bores calls his passion “crap”
“I tried to make this easy to read, easy to digest” From the excerpts people have shown me, you have failed.
He goes over the chapters.
The first calls out skeptics and critics (pffft)
The second goes over the “rise and fall” of paranormal TV. The real answer is that it was a fad. Fads come and go, and paranormal TV was just another one. Sure Ghost Hunters is still around, but it’s much more niche now than it was before. Though I imagine Chris’ explanation is way more pretentious.
The third chapter is about his first couple investigations. Like the one where Alan tripped and he claimed someone pushed him?
The fourth is about his tools. Pretty sure most of those have been debunked as useless. But who needs facts and science?
He mentions his appearance on Hardcore Pawn, which has not aired. Bores claims he keeps watching and he’ll let us know. Why subject yourself to that trash at all? You can easily just look up when the new episodes will air online. You don’t have to watch it again and again. It would explain a lot if he did…
Then the next chapter is about the tools only he uses (or so he believes). Alright, I looked up ghost hunting books on Amazon, and there is a lot. Like, I estimate hundreds. There is surprisingly a lot of competition for this crap. It’s very likely that Chris’ so called tools are used by other people, and he just doesn’t know it.
This is where he brings up his “psychology” and “philosophy”, somehow “world religions” are a tool and… quantum physics. Don’t bring actual science into your pseudo-science you hack.
Of course he brings up his “ancient texts” and dedicates an entire chapter to the Tibetan Book of the Dead. One of my readers, the Necro Critic, actually did some research into the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and found it’s a terrible tool to try and communicate with ghosts. It’s actually a very inaccurate translation of the Bardo Thodol, an ancient self-help guide about getting ready for your next reincarnation, various forms of meditation and mentions identifying states of death. It’s a religious text for a specific sect of Buddhism. Bardo Thodol was poorly translated into English with random Hindu terminology in the 1920’s, becoming the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
Basically, Bores is using a thoroughly debunked book to source his findings on the paranormal. HOW DOES ANYONE TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY?!
Thank you Necro Critic for finding all this out.
“No other ghost hunter uses the Tibetan Book of the Dead for their research” Probably for the reasons I listed above. Even so, don’t act so sure. Have you read through all those ghost hunting books on Amazon?
Bullshit bullshit bullshit.
The more I listen to this, the more my brain wants to die. “Ghost hunting is stuck and I know why!” No you don’t, it’s stuck because it’s all crap.
He goes on about his stupid psychology. Pretty sure you need to see an actual psychologist Bores. This ghost obsession can’t be good for your mental state.
“I believe if the right people read this, a new branch of psychology could be created” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You are delusional.
Says the finale is talking about the message he “received” and “decoding it”. Using a bunch of different religions like Kabbalah, Judaism, Buddhism, and more fucking Tibetan thinking. How about the religion of LOGIC?! Oh wait, that’s just common sense.
“If you’re a deep thinker like I am” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA No, I’ve already wasted too much space laughing. Chris, the deepest thing you’ve ever thought is “Should I have Lucky Charms or Froot Loops, and will breakfast be ruined if I pick the wrong one?”
And that’s where I check out. Rest of the video I don’t even care. He mentions meeting Grant Wilson of Ghost Hunters but I do not give a fuck.
The book has to be crap, I mean this is Bores we’re talking about.
I’ve actually gotten some interesting info about it. First comes from Kevin Edward, who found the book on Amazon and looked at the inside preview. Right off the bat he found a mistake, he indents the first paragraph of every chapter, a major negative in published works. Open any novel and you’ll see the first paragraph is never indented. How did Bores make such a rookie mistake?
Kevin then left a comment on the video pointing this out and telling him there’s also spelling, grammar, punctuation and format errors that shouldn’t be in a published work. Chris called him a liar.
Note the choice of words, “my liking”. Meaning Chris does not care for your criticism, it’s “my way or get the fuck off my property”. I seriously doubt he got it proofread, and if he did, he ignored every piece of advice.
The second bit of interesting info comes from our good friend Uatu the Watcher, who has done a damn good job of getting the blog info in the past. Seems he got his hands on the book, and provided some laughable excerpts.
Here’s his comment for all to see.
My favorite bits include comparing himself to Batman, how he sang the Alphabet in front of everyone, his obvious statement about forbidden knowledge, and the part about claiming there’s proof spirits already exist.
I also love how he mentions his “55th most subscribed” achievement again, but neglects to mention that it was for talking about video games, not ghosts. Also, wasn’t he 55th most subscribed in 2008? Not 2010? He’s distorting facts again!
If the book gets leaked, let me know. I’m not giving any money for this.
Sadly, that’s not the end of the recap. We have one more video.
We’ve got another WACKY TECH REVIEW! The dislikes show that people really don’t like this crap.
This time he’ll be looking at three products from Kinivo. Really cashing in those sponsorship deals huh Chris?
“The Ki-Nye-Vo products” Is that how it’s pronounced? It looks more like “Ki-Knee-Vo”
First he’s going to look at an HDMI switch box. Oh jeez, he’s using the wacky music, you know the one that he would play in update videos a long time ago?
He describes what it does… no mention of price or reliability or design or anything. At this point, we shouldn’t expect anything resembling a “review” in these WACKY VIDEOS.
It cuts to him watching Hell’s Kitchen, and it suddenly switches over to The Gilmore Girls. He reacts in “angry shock”. Instead of doing the sensible thing like changing the channel back or turning it off, he keeps watching until he blows his brains out with one of his light guns. Classy.
Next he looks over a pair of Bluetooth headphones. He goes on about how he’s been “dabbling” in Bluetooth and how great it is blah blah blah. Random cut to him listening to My Heart Will Go On (copyright bots are going to eat this video alive). Shows the volume, tells us not to turn it up too loud, random cut to him listening to loud music and… exploding from it. I haven’t said this one in a while, for someone that hates Michael Bay, you sure like explosions as much as he does.
Mentions the “next track” button, and that the sound is good. Is it better than a popular brand name like Beats by Dre? What about other headphones on the market? You really should leave the tech reviews to the professionals.
Finally he looks some speakers. Bluetooth speakers to be specific. He mentions they still need to be plugged in (no duh) which cuts to a bit where he tries to plug it in but his outlet is full, and he freaks out. … Where’s the joke Dob- I mean Bores?
Mentions how you can plug your phone in as well. So he does that, and he decides to play something from Final Fantasy VII. Oh now you’ve awakened a sleeping giant Chris. You don’t fuck with FFVII fans.
“Yes it’s Red’s theme” His name is Red XIII (or Nanaki)! Not just Red! I doubt you’ve actually played the game. Also, that doesn’t sound anything like his theme. Is that a remix? Why don’t you have the original on there?
Then it cuts to a glass of water on his table shaking and falling over. I guess it’s meant to show how powerful the bass is, but it’s so obvious he just shook his table offscreen to get it to fall over. Why? What’s the point? That didn’t mean anything. Stop with the random crap!
Blah blah blah you can find it cheap on Amazon. Don’t care. Done.
I have to imagine this is where Chris is getting money to do videos. The views are shit, and Chris knows this. He’s going to keep shilling until he has no more soul. Is this the fate you really want Chris? To be a mindless shill for tech products while you hock your awful random humor? If only you could take criticism, and not have burned all those bridges.
MAJOR UPDATE: Seems I was wrong about Amazon. It's not just the first few pages, the ENTIRE BOOK is available for free. I'm going to look through it, see how long I last before my brain tells me "ENOUGH"
EDIT: Wait, false alarm. It's not the whole book. Pages are omitted, plus I think I got more because I'm an Amazon Prime member. Sorry about that. Still, I imagine someone will leak the book soon.