Redux Recap: RSI. Robotic Sleep Inducer

I should probably do a Redux Recap now, it’s been a while since I’ve done one. Oh joy, his 2-part ROB video. This is going to hurt.

The ROB episode marked a lot of turning points for IG’s suckiness, a few he still uses today. The first is overhyping the episode, going on and on about how the upcoming video will be “epic and amazing with so much hard work” and blah blah blah. In the months preceding the video, he posted news and pictures showing what he‘s going to do. Unfortunately, the news archive on IG’s site only goes up to January 26th 2011, everything before that seems to have disappeared. Hmmm.

I should probably address the elephant in the room, the AVGN’s 100th episode. Personally, I enjoyed it. I thought it was a lot of fun to watch. That’s what I’m going to say about it. However, if you’re going to claim he stole from IG’s video, I’ll bring up that IG stole from Awesome Video Games first. Back when they were a parody of 90’s shows and not a livestream of various games. I’ll bring up the similarities in the recap, but if anything; the AVGN “stole” from Awesome Video Games not IG. Since James and the FarFromSubtle crew are good friends, it’s not that big of a deal.

Here’s Awesome Video Games’ Gyromite video: http://blip.tv/videogamesawesome/gyromite-3103492

Before ROB Part 1 was uploaded, there were three other videos. The remastered MUSCLE review, his FORTY-EIGHT SECOND review of Iron Man, and the trailer for Part 1. I’ve already brought up the MUSCLE video, and due to length I’ll cover the 2008 movie reviews at a later date.

The trailer is his standard stuff. “I put in a lot of work and it’s going to be epic” and all that. Of course, the final product looked less like two months and more like two weeks.

I’ve put it off long enough, here’s IG’s ROB review.

Intro: An interesting thing to note is at the end of the theme, the words “Season 2” show up. Implying that “this is the start of Season 2”. However, his organized playlists completely change that, making the second ROB video the end of Season 2. He continues labeling the videos Season 2 up to Monster Party, then drops it after that. It’s almost like he didn’t plan anything and just decided sorting his shows by season would look “professional”.

Title card: A bunch of ROB related items floating in mid-air while a constipated IG looks down at ROB. So, was this five minutes in Photoshop or did it take you “hours” to get the right look of “anger”?

0:40 - 0:54: Right off the bat you’ll notice two other big changes. One is his wardrobe, he’s wearing a blue button-down shirt. You know, like someone else that wears a white button-down shirt. “Come on Daniel, be reasonable. It’s just a one time thing right?” Nope, the button-down shirt is recurring, appearing in many reviews after this one. It’s not like he was in enough trouble aping his style he has to steal his wardrobe.

The other change is his wall is covered in posters. I think this is where the “two months of work” went, he was busy buying old issues of Nintendo Power off eBay to adorn his wall. At one point, he actually advertised this as a “new set”. Hmm, *grabs Chrono Trigger poster and puts it on wall* OH GOD WHERE AM I?

“Today we’re going to look at a very obscure Nintendo accessory that not many people probably recognize” Had you said this in 2003 that line would have made sense, but this video came out after Mario Kart DS and Super Smash Bros. Brawl. By then, ROB had re-entered the collective gaming conscience.

IG mentions that ROB’s role to bringing the “Nintendo system” to America was pivotal. Oh boy, botched history lesson time.

0:55 - 1:20: He brings up the video game crash and how retailers refused to carry anything video game related. So far so good…

“Nintendo decided to pair the NES System up with a robot and market the console as a robot gaming system rather than a video game system.” Whoa boy, here comes the “wrong”. By the way, NES System? I’ll go play my Nintendo Entertainment System System after I play my PSOne One and Game Boy Advance Advance.

Nintendo didn’t market it as a “robot gaming system”, they marketed it as a toy. There was far more emphasis on ROB and the Zapper rather than Super Mario Bros. The NES was designed the way it is because video games before that were on consoles with a top-loading cartridge slot, the cover was intended to hide that there was a cartridge inside.

“To everyone’s surprise, the plan worked.” Actually, ROB wasn’t the sole reason the NES succeeded. It started with an aggressive campaign to get the NES into retail stores, leading to a test market in New York City in October 1985. It sold well enough over the holidays that test markets popped up in Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco until it eventually went nationwide in September 1986. ROB did help a great deal, but there were other factors involved.

1:21 - 1:54: Things start getting boring as he goes over various details about ROB. Leading to the amount of games compatible with ROB.

“Out of almost the 700 games produced for the NES” And you’re wrong again! You’re saying the NES had less than 700 games, when in reality it had at least 800. That’s not counting the many MANY Famicom games not released outside of Japan.

1:55 - 2:19: He shows that he also obtained a Japanese ROB, not sure why he had to buy one considering he doesn’t have a Famicom.

“… called the Family Computer Robot. Or Fucker (F.C.R) for short” Good lord what an painful joke, you’re grounded for two weeks! Now go to your room and think about what you said!

He mentions how the American ROB matches the color scheme of the NES, then attempting a joke about wanting to camouflage it. Chris, mind telling me what the colors of the Famicom are? They’re red and white, like the Famicom Robot. Ever consider that’s why the American ROB is gray?

Seriously, why did you buy a Famicom Robot? Those things aren’t cheap, why buy something if you’re unable to use it?

2:20 - 2:48: He gets into ROB’s accessories and this is so boring. He brings up how the base is numbered but the pieces aren’t, he wants to set this thing up for “optima paformance”. What’s that? Do a second take so it doesn’t sound like he rushed those last two words? Hogwash!

“This is a highly technological piece of shit we’re dealing” I couldn’t tell but was that a joke? I know that some of the things I complain about were intended as jokes but it’s stuff like this where I honestly can’t tell.

2:49 - 3:26: IG mentions that ROB needs a lot of batteries, and he needs to find some. Then Vampire Killer from Castlevania starts playing as we get filler! For no reason other than to make this video exceed 8 minutes, we get IG looking around his room for batteries. Actually, I might have a reason. He did this to show off his “awesome new set”, try to convince everyone he’s a gamer with all these posters.

He solves his battery problem by grabbing his Game Boy off his HANG ON A SECOND. 3:18, look in the background. “The Ultimate History of Video Games”. Is that the book he was talking about in all his ego-stroking videos?

Anyway, he grabs his Game Boy and takes the batteries. Make sure to shoehorn a Zelda reference in.

3:27 - 3:36: He says ROB needs 4 AA batteries and one of the accessories requires a D battery. At least he didn’t spend another 30 seconds trying to find it.

3:37 - 4:36: He starts on Gyromite, showing the title screen with the game’s Japanese name, Robot Gyro. Aren’t you going to bring that up? That seems like something that’s worth mentioning.

He shows the “Direct” screen used to calibrate ROB, then decides to show ROB pressing the A button. Experience filler!

Yes, more padding as we watch ROB slowly move the Gyro. Instead of focusing on something like the game footage while it moves, we get shots of Bores … angry I guess?

Finally, ROB pushes the… B button? I thought you said he was going to push the A button?

“All that just to push the A button” He pushed the B button moron! Learn the difference!

This is followed by a poorly-acted angry rant.

“What a piece of diarrhea dickwaffles!” The hell is that supposed to be? *thinks it over* I got it! You take a waffle iron shaped like a penis, take a shit in the waffle iron, cook it, and you have a waffle made of shit that’s shaped like a dick. A dia… I just made myself depressed. Ohhhhh……. Dragon Quest VIII take me away.

4:37 - 5:01: IG moves onto the game itself.

“In this game, you start off as Professor Gyro” And the incorrect facts just keep coming! His name is Professor Hector, not Gyro. Even Awesome Video Games got this right, and they get things wrong on purpose!

He gets into the gameplay, collecting dynamite before time runs out. If you do run out, the dynamite will explode and kill Hector. IG wonders if it did or else the noise gave him a heart attack. Or the concussive blast ruptured his ear drums, causing to faint. Or it’s a kids’ game and they didn’t want to depict a violent death. Just saying…

5:02 - 5:44: He continues to explain the gameplay, bringing up the red and blue pillars controlled by ROB. He shows the controls and for some reason his controller has a sticker with the letter “P” on it. … It’s part of a gag.

It’s the “Party button” and pressing it makes ROB “get jiggy with it” as he shows ROB dancing He didn’t by chance learn how to “Do the ROB” from Ace and Chet now did he? And that’s one idea stolen from Awesome Video Games.

By the way, Getting Jiggy with It? Was Hammer Time too dated for you? And did you really have to play the Will Smith song too? I wonder if that’s going to be on the DVD.

5:44 - 6:04: He brings up that ROB is sometimes unresponsive as he shows an example of this. Look Bores, just because ROB is boring doesn’t mean you have to be too. He also flips off the plastic toy because “grrrr I’m irate”.

6:05 - 7:08: IG then mentions that Hector can’t jump or attack enemies. No he doesn’t refer to the enemies by their name, Smicks. Just thought I’d clarify that.

He also shows how the lack of jump button can trap him in a hole with no way out. He thinks it’s to make things “challenging”. Well, it is a puzzle game and the stage always starts with showing all the dynamite. So it’s kind of your fault that you grabbed the dynamite that was intended to be last before you grabbed the others.

“The developers of the game…” You mean Nintendo?

He goes on and on about the controls being split between the two players for the purpose of using ROB. That’s kind of the point they were going for.

“Look how much faster I can beat the stage without using the robot” You’re missing the point, either you play with ROB or you play with a friend. The game is better with a friend but either way you need a second player. Yes, the robot sucks, I get that. But you have to take certain things into consideration.

He then compares this to Super Mario Bros if they put the jump button on the second controller. Hmm that’s a … “the suicide rates in this country alone would go through the roof” You couldn’t have just ended on the comparison.

7:09 - 7:33: IG gets to a point where a pillar is blocking him and a Smick is approaching. ROB moves too slow and he gets killed, giving us a poorly-delivered growl/yelp/scream that is funny for the wrong reasons.

“You dickbag! You’re the worst player I ever played with!” Well, he is a step-down from the Wise Sage and… umm…

The video ends with IG trying once more, when ROB decides to “accidentally” crush Hector. Just like how Ace & Chet’s ROB “accidentally” crushed Hector. IG yells at the plastic toy and ROB’s eyes glow red, causing Bores to react with dull surprise. A ROB that’s secretly evil? Did he take lessons from Ace & Chet’s ROB? That leads to three ideas taken from Awesome Video Games.

IG tells ROB to behave or he’s out of here, followed by a “To Be Continued” and an “oooo scary” shot of ROB. You can tell it’s scary by the generic music.

Man, three years later and that video still blows. All kinds of inaccurate facts, boring as sin, and so much lifted material. Where did that two months go? The only parts that looked like they needed work were the dancing ROB (sped-up footage) and… that’s it really. I still think the two months was dedicated to getting posters and other obsolete consoles for his “new set”. It’s not like Part 2 came out at the same time, it came out a month later.

Craaaaap, I still have to do Part 2. Expect it soon.