14 Months for a Fairchild Channel F Review. What a Joke.

*breathes in then out* Been a while.

It’s been 14 months since IG last did an installment of “History of Video Games”. A normal person would have just given up at this point. He started this nearly 3 years ago and he’s not even on the Atari 2600 yet. And he somehow thinks people will take this slow shit seriously?

The description notes he’s covering 1976-1977. On Facebook he noted that he’s stopping before the Atari 2600. Basically, he’s covering a dead period in gaming. The length of the shows this too as it’s only five minutes long. Five minutes? All that wait for that? Unless Bores is a stop-motion puppet, there’s no fucking way this video can justify the long wait.

*reads rest of description* Critically acclaimed series? Fuck. You. Who are these critics? Your 11 year old fans that are too young to know the true brutality of the Nintendo and Sega wars? Screw you.

0:02 - 0:20: He starts off with mentioning that the oversaturation of Pong consoles has ruined any interest in them, and brings up a console that “changed things” or something. He holds up his Fairchild Channel F. So far no issues.

0:20 - 0:41: He mentions the company that released it was by Fairchild Camera and Instrument. Technically, no. It was released by Fairchild Semiconductor, another company created by FCI founder Sherman Fairchild. The two companies were rather different.
“Called the Fairchild Channel F” Noooo. It was originally released as the Fairchild VES (Video Entertainment System) but the name was changed to Channel F to avoid confusion with the much more popular Atari VCS (Video Computer System, later changed to 2600). Wow, not even a minute into this and I’ve already found two flaws.
He goes onto mention that it used different video game cartridges, making it the first of its kind. This is correct.

0:42 - 0:53: He lists off what the console came with, ending on a place to store extra cartridges. Leading to a joke where he stores “other things” including Cheez-Its (and now I can‘t eat those anymore *tries alternative* never mind), ice cubes (I don’t think putting ice there is a good idea) and… condoms. Eeeewwwwww. No, that’s just wrong.
You know, it amuses me when IG fans (including his mother) say they hate the AVGN because he uses too much gross-out humor. … Pay attention people!

0:54 - 1:24: He brings up that the console has tennis and hockey pre-programmed into it, and that people were tired of it. Then moves on to 3 other games made for it.
He shows Desert Fox, then asks “Isn’t this just Tank from Atari”. Expecting originality from the early days of gaming? Pffft.
Then Blackjack. Starting a gag where he says “Hit me” again and again! You went over 21, quit pressing the damn button! He does this like 10 times, leading up to the predictable joke of a fist hitting him. Uggggh.
Also, was it necessary to edit the footage just to do that tired joke? I found some footage of Channel F Blackjack and you can’t place that many cards down. For a so-called “informative documentary“, it’s extremely misrepresentative of the facts.

1:25 - 1:40: After that he moves to Tic-Tac-Toe. He loses and the game says “You Lose Turkey”, which does in fact happen. I checked and the game does call you a turkey if you lose. It was the 70s, I can understand that.
IG yells at the game (as usual) and then the game tells him “Suck It Bitch”. What have I said about editing footage? How is this funny? The only credit I can give is that it looks just like the text, but here in lies another problem. He wastes all this time on tiny details like this instead of more important things like research or writing or acting or ANYTHING OTHER THAN PHOTOSHOP! Effects are a tool, not a crutch.
IG then tears the game out and throws it into the trash. Judging by how it barely made it, I get the feeling it took 10 takes.

1:41 - 2:00: IG brings up how the carts cost $20 but gave more income to Fairchild. You mean selling additional supply meant more revenue? Wow, glad I can have some moron explain how basic business works.
He also mentions the carts are numbered to “give anxiety to collectors”, prompting a joke where he’s missing Videocart-2 and it magically appears in front of him. What does this add? It’s just padding at this point.

2:01 - 2:27: To further “milk this cash cow” as he puts it (and here’s another issue, how he phrases things, how is this a cash cow?) Fairchild released ten more cartridges. Actually, of the 26 Channel F games, the first 21 were released by them. Not just 13. Sounds to me like that’s all he could find.
We then get a quick montage of IG listing a game then cutting to him looking bored. He lists one of the math games, looks excited, then goes back to bored. Oh Bores, don’t try convincing us math excites you. Especially when you get something as easy as 8 times 2 wrong. I suck at math and even I know it’s 16, not 20. If you were attempting to “lose” in that shot, don’t do it on a fucking math game!
He wonders if any of the games don’t suck. … It was 1976. Games were in their infancy. Fucking adjust your mind. This is like the Odyssey video all over again! Here’s a shock, 36 years ago we didn’t have Blu-Rays or HDTVs. This is what existed. God damn how do people take you seriously?
He then throws away all the games. Out there, a collector is shedding a tear witnessing this abuse.

2:28 - 2:59: He says they stopped making Videocarts in 1977 (try a year later) and mentions one of the popular ones was #17, Pinball Challenge. He plays it and notices it’s just Breakout… then says “fuck them”. Saying the f-word again, meaning he still can’t decide what demographic he wants. Make up your mind!
He brings up how this was popular enough that other companies started trying their own versions, but that there was a “dark road” coming. Umm… spooky?

3:00 - 3:33: IG continues to insult our intelligence by using a special effects line in his hands to represent 76-77 and how this was the first “video game crash”. I checked and this was a real thing. Not Bores trying to be dramatic again like the “Maganvox and Atari war”. That didn’t exist!
He does another “throwing out” joke by throwing out his Pong console. *sighs* No respect at all. And no respect to the rule of three. This is giving me a headache.
Then he says Fairchild bailed out due to low sales. Actually it was more along the lines of the 2600 doing much better in sales, but okay.
IG moves onto the arcade, mentioning how it was getting too much crap, listing a few examples. He walks on screen and tells them they don’t ring a bell because they were crap… then he explodes. What the fuck was that? You can’t just randomly explode like that.

3:34 - 4:05: IG mentions how Nolan Bushnell was facing problems and wanted to get his console out, but needed money. So Bushnell sold the company to Warner Communications. Hmm, accuracy. This is rare.

The video comes to a quick end with IG mentioning other companies tried consoles but failed, and only Atari could do it. Blah blah blah blah next time is the Atari VCS/2600. You know, for only being five minutes there was A LOT wrong with it.

Along with being horribly misinformed, it was insanely stupid with those jokes, and way too fucking short. This was just a review of the Channel F and some bits about the lesser-known crash. How the fuck did this take so long to get out? Nothing about it showed it required months of work. Just… ugh.

Five minutes? What kind of joke is that? And how does Bores expect people to take him seriously when he uses tired Blackjack jokes and puts condoms in his console? Even if I ignore all that, I haven’t learned a damn thing about the history of video games. His words don’t stick.

What disgusts me is that a forum user on TVTropes said their college professor showed IG‘s Odyssey video in class. I quickly told them to show my blog and how it points out everything is wrong. This is what I’m trying to fight people! Ignorance. People that don’t realize this man is a fraud. Not everyone is a gamer and don’t know that most of what he’s saying is outright false. This is one thing I’m trying to do here!

So it took him nearly 3 years to get to the Atari 2600. Unbelievable. You have to try in order to be that bad.

That’s all for now everyone. Bores said that he has a new Neo video in the works (I predict Sonic Generations, or if his Facebook is anything to go by, Skylanders) and another short (oh good, more nonsense like that Lakitu video). I’m going to sleep.