Seems Chris is actually going to put out a real video tomorrow. He posted on Facebook that he plans to review... Excitebike. *sighs* Another classic? Fucking hell Chris, you really don't get it. He's using the "I only cover games I enjoy" excuse. Which is obviously bullshit as he's covered several legit bad games like Back to the Future, X-Men, and Power Rangers on Sega CD. He's doing this for clickbait and he knows it.
Until then, here's what he's done since. Four videos of crap.
First video was another tech review, looking at another power bank (what is it with these Chinese companies and power banks?) and another speaker. There's barely any meat to it, just Chris going on about his obsession with bass (probably because it's the only audiophile term he's familiar with).
Second video was 11 minutes of speculating on a leaked list of Lego Dimensions toys. I tried... but it was sooooo boring. Frankly I'd just wait and see what toys they release in the future. Especially when the list is all initials.
Third video is Chris tackling phone apps. ... Yep, he's reached that low now. Apparently he was "asked" to look at them. Maybe the first one but I doubt the second.
The first one he looked at was some really crappy Five Nights at Freddy's clone, with pictures of real people and shitty MS Paint graphics. Harrod did research and learned the game was released by Richard Henne, the man behind 2009's Balloon Boy hoax. It seems Henne is desperate to get famous and will go to crazy lengths to do so. I guess he sees himself in Bores, someone else desperate to get famous. How sad.
The second app is a credit card creator. ... It looks pointless.
Fourth video is another artbook review, where you guessed it, Chris shows every single page. Seems fans reaaaaaally hated this one as the dislikes are heavy. Is Chris even familiar with the Fable series? Yeah the book is about Fable Legends, the upcoming F2P MOBA that will likely bomb because everyone is too busy with League of Legends, Smite, or Dota 2.
Sorry for the crappy entry, but if he's not going to put effort into making videos, why should I?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You shouldn't.
ReplyDeletelol well played
ReplyDeletefuck effort
ReplyDeleteLel
DeleteI'm predicting that his excite bike review will contain: "Now i've always played this game when i was a kid", greenscreen part of him riding a bike, montage scene, random movie or cereal reference, editing the game footage for a "joke", possible mario kart reference, and lots of winter gaming
ReplyDeleteSounds about right.
DeleteSmeg, I still remember his last attempt at chroma key bike riding in the ET review; the damn thing looked like the end of Peewee's Playhouse. Even if he's long since gone HD: Sin City, it is not.
DeleteI'm expecting a montage of Bores falling off the bike ending with a close up of his angry face. Maybe some red filter to enhance the anger too.
DeleteThe only other question is... will Chris also acknowledge Excitebike 64? I know it's not quite as known as the original NES/Famicom game, but it deserves mention. As does Excitetruck and Excitebike World Tour, both on Wii. And how there's an Excitebike-themed track in Mario Kart 8 as well...
ReplyDeleteAnd the 3DS version.
DeleteHe probably doesn't even know that those versions exist.
DeleteIt also has content in Mario Maker. This is going to hurt; guys. Dan, I don't blame you for the lightness of this post; as it's clear you don't have much to work with. Still, tomorrow's video is really going to suck. As next Tuesday is Groundhog day; looks like Boring Man will be ending January on another stinker of a video.
DeleteIt's par for the course when it comes to Bores.
DeleteSeriously? The Fable franchise is still going on?
ReplyDeleteThe Excitebike episode is out, but it's labeled as "Episode 12" (According to Boring Man, episode eleven was the Intellivision).
ReplyDeleteThat is a fucked-up mistake for the creator of these series to make. I don't know if it's a new low in caring, but from him it may be a new form of failing to care. Having the "Red" storyline stretch across both series was weird, but this is a demonstrably wrong statement about his own work rather than about decades-old technology which would be more understandable but still amateurish.
DeleteAre IG and HOVG separate series or not? What a mess.
DeleteEverything involving the Link "joke" was terrible. Just terrible.
DeleteThe Link voice wasn't so bad. I noticed halfway through that it doesn't sound a lot like Bores.
ReplyDelete"I could bake a shit souffle faster than this!" Ha-haaaaah! Those DO take a long time to bake!
Barney Gag: Ha-haaaaah! That IS a bad show! Why isn't this guy writing for Saturday Night Live's 1993-94 season?
Link: "Well, excuse ME, Princess!": Apart from Zelda being a princess, is that apropos of anything? It feels like a complete non sequitur.
Well, the Excitebike "review" already sounds pretty bad as the first retro review of the year. I'll probably get something for the drinking game in a little while; since a lot of it sounds like the usual incompetence and Family Guy sketches. Aside from that, I got the DVDs and Fox Amiibo I was waiting for; think I'll go train it for a while (Lucas will be coming in February alongside my Blu-ray copies of the first three Pokémon movies; partially thanks to my last-minute preorder and the usual schizophrenic stock patterns).
ReplyDelete