Another New Series, Another Endeavor That Will Likely Fall

Is everyone staying safe? I hope so.

Got an update for you! Chris has yet another new series idea that will likely fall flat and die in seven days.

He calls it "Pop Culture Paranormal", and he plans to look at horror movies and see how they connect to his dumb paranormal beliefs. 

He first posted it on Ghost Doctor, but now it's on his main channel for everyone to see and mock.

I'm not going to cover it in detail because it's over 18 minutes long and I can barely tolerate his other ghost stuff already. So, here's some highlights.

The first episode covers The Ring, specifically the 2002 American remake. He does briefly mention that it's a remake of a Japanese horror movie, but I feel he would have a better "understanding" if he watched the original in order to get cultural context and subtext missing from the American version. Maybe focus on that more instead of this version.

He claims he had to watch it a second time to really understand it. Really? It's not a hard movie to figure out. Samara (Sadako for fans of the original) had powers, she was abused by her family and thrown into a well, so she used her powers to spread her pain to a video tape, demanding people share it or else they die in seven days. That's why copying the tape prevents death.

During it he constantly shows footage from Ghost Doctor like it's relevant. I'm guessing he did it so he can get his Irate Gamer audience to watch it since nobody still cares. I don't think it will work. Even though the two uploads are only a few hours apart, the one on IG has less views despite having more eyes on it. Face it Chris, nobody in your gaming audience gives a crap about ghosts! Even if you attach a popular movie to it.

 

Chris continues to show off his toys, with barely related horror movie "icons". I think I know why this bothers me so much. While there are plenty of other collectors that will show it off somehow, they do it subtly. Like they'll change up the background to be something related to what they're talking about, they don't make it the star. Chris has the opposite problem, he HAS to show the toys, even if they have nothing to do with the topic at hand.

 

As for the video itself, we get more of Chris showcasing his baffling beliefs about ghosts. Like his claim that curses are real and that what happens in the movie can happen in real life. Uhhh no? Unless you're one of those weirdos that believes something like Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv actually hurts people (it doesn't by the way). There's no such thing as a video that can kill you. The closest thing is if someone with epilepsy watches something with a high-frequency strobe effect, and that's an entirely different matter unrelated to "ghost girl in a video tape".

He believes that faces blurring on a photo means something spooky. Isn't that just a camera glitch? Or the person moving when they shouldn't have?

He brings up the sequel, and somehow needed it to conclude that "TV is the gateway". Pretty sure that was settled when Samara crawled through the TV screen.

For some reason, he compares Samara to the ghosts of dead Civil War soldiers. I really don't understand how the two are comparable. He also brings up "genie trapped in a bottle". I know common stories involve genies being bastards, but the two are nothing alike.

The video is utterly stupid and continues to show that Chris' ideas about the afterlife make no sense. Frankly, we don't know what happens after we die, and I know it's scary. But the best we can do is live day by day and do the best we can in life.

But yeah, I expect Chris will make like 3 of these and then give up and go back to trashy Puppet Steve or boring Irate Gamer.

Irate Gamer, a modern piece of mediocrity. From the town of Sandusky, he's about to bore you to sleep.

*looks outside, sees way too much snow in single digit weather* Welp… I’m stuck inside. Even if there wasn’t a pandemic, it is just too cold to do anything. Yay for cabin fever! Oh, of course Bores puts out a new video…

Do I have an excuse for why I took so long to write this? Nope. None at all. Anyway, he’s going to talk about the two Flintstones NES games. The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy, and Surprise at Dinosaur Peak. Why those games? Because he clearly needs a popular IP to latch onto or else nobody cares. Plus, an excuse to make stupid reference jokes.
In the description, he notes that he got help from Jonas Roy Bjarnason. I hope you got paid Jonas.

Onto the video. A little over 13 minutes long.

The video opens with IG walking out (to Donkey Kong Country music) to tell us the subject of the episode. He notes how Surprise at Dinosaur Peak “retails” for $800. It doesn’t “retail” for that much, that’s a low-end price you find on second-hand markets like eBay. Learn the difference.
After he reveals that, he says “Good Night!” Is that a Flintstones reference I missed? I don’t remember much about the show.

Theme song.

But first, another fake sponsorship. This time for Seinfeld Funko Pop mini keychains. Seriously? Again, no link in the description or anything to indicate this is a real sponsor. Probably just an excuse to show off his mini-Seinfeld playset again. Also, if you’re going to have made-up sponsors, at least make it thematically appropriate. The Flintstones and Seinfeld are world’s apart.

He gives an overview of the series, with some odd syntax strewn throughout. As per usual with Chris. Goes over how the show changed through the years by adding kids and the Great Gazoo, the latter which he dropped a “I guess dey can’t all be winners”.
We cut to his obviously unplugged NES as he mentions how publishers adapted old TV shows into games, citing The Three Stooges and Gilligan’s Island. Wow, both giant piles of plastic garbage!
He mispronounces Taito (as Tay-to) because he can’t go a video without showing how he’s completely ignorant about Japan.

He starts with The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy, which some of you may know better by the title “7 Grand Dad”.
He calls it “DY-no and Hoppy” not “DEE-no”, which is how you’re supposed to pronounce their weird dino-dog. He actually gets it right in the next sentence.
He then gets mad that we have to save Hoppy, calling him lame and putting him below the garbage disposal pig. What’s wrong with Hoppy? Feels like Chris just wanted something to complain about here.
“Now I gotta figure out which controller to use” Wait what? Why?
Oh, it’s a dumb gag that ends on “rock controller”. Urgh… glad all those Flintstones reboots got shelved, I can easily imagine Chris try to get a job like with DuckTales.

Starts the game. “…that iconic 8-bit rendition of that Flintstones theme song” This is a really weird sentence, are you saying the 8-bit version is iconic? Why use “that” instead of “the”? Maybe you should get people to proofread your scripts instead of relying on them for effects.
He watches the first cutscene, comments that the music sounds more like an Exorcist NES game. Meh…
He shows the game’s villain, commenting that he looks like the lead singer of GWAR. No he doesn’t! Do you even know what Oderus Urungus looks like? RIP Dave Brockie.
The villain steals Dino and Hoppy, blows up Gazoo’s time machine, and the objective is to find the pieces of it.
He praises the game, says it looks good, plays decently, has cool ideas… why are you reviewing this? Isn’t your schtick supposed to be bad games? You don’t even know what you are.
He comes across a wheel with platforms on it and compares it to the ones Reznor rides in Super Mario World. Then he complains that the game is ripping off Super Mario World. No it isn’t Chris, there’s no enemies on the Flintstones platforms. He’s already reaching for problems.
He also wonders why they didn’t steal Reznor and put it in the game. Because Taito can’t do that? I know this is an attempt at a joke, but it’s really lame.

He fast-forwards to the first boss, a large sea serpent that refers to as “Puff the Magic Dumbass” (hur hur hur) and beats him, complaining that he’s easy. Then he complains about the Time Machine part having “TM” on it, calling out the game for thinking players are stupid. Really? You’re one to talk about treating the audience like idiots Chris.
He also refers to a cutscene as a “cut screen”. Are you doing this on purpose?!
He points out how Gazoo welding his time machine looks like he’s humping it. I don’t really see it…

He complains again that the game is stealing from Super Mario World by having an overworld map. Uhhh no? What about Super Mario Bros 3? That came out long before this. Are you that desperate for something to talk about?
He brings up the basketball mini-game, not much said there. Gets a power-up from it, and he tries using it on a stage with rising lava. Only to instantly die because he clearly set it up that way. Prompting a pointless appearance from Scooby Dum, the seldom seen cousin of Scooby-Doo. BECAUSE HE EXISTS!

He moves onto a city level with criminals from the show. He refers to them as “Antifa Banditos”. Oooh jeez… I feel like whatever I say here is going to result in a firestorm so I’m just going to move on.
Then he cuts to an ice level which he claims is just a recolor of the first level and calls them lazy. Says the man that reuses old footage without even trying to make it match…
Then a jungle level which he likes, but then sees a waterfall that looks “right out of Super Mario Bros 2”. Let it go Chris! This prompts a stupid bit where he hopes the fish (Trouters) don’t show up and guess what they do. Still has that bad habit of inserting sprites that don’t belong. That’s not a joke Chris.

He reaches the boss, who looks like a sasquatch though IG keeps calling him a caveman. This prompts a pointless rant where he wonders why that wasn’t Captain Caveman, while he holds a Captain Caveman toy. Because nobody cares about Captain Caveman and looking into it he’s more connected to Scooby-Doo than the Flintstones. He does admit he doesn’t know how the licensing works. Maybe consider that they just didn’t care to use this obscure cartoon character?

He likes the controls, how there’s a lot to do, how you meet up with other characters. He notes how once you find them, they follow you around the map like a Final Fantasy game. That’s more of a Dragon Quest trope, Final Fantasy never really did that with a few exceptions. But he said that so he could do a stupid bit where the Flintstones cast fights Tiamat in Final Fantasy II. Why II? I guess that’s what Jonas added.

Anyway, he notes multiple aspects that make the game easy to play (while also bringing up Gazoo “humping” again, it’s still not funny). At least he’s not complaining about it being too easy.
He gets to the final level in the future, while also mispronouncing Dino’s name again. For fuck’s sake Chris, are you really a Flintstones fan?
He gets there and recognizes the music being the theme from The Jetsons, then runs into George Jetson. This results in a pointless history lesson. He brings up the crossover movie The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones. Funny enough, he gets the order wrong (calling it The Flintstones Meet The Jetsons) while showing the movie poster. Did Jonas add that? Clever if he did.
He then complains that they should have called the game “The Flinstones Meet The Jetsons” and promoted it like mad. Did you ever consider that it’s meant to be a big twist? That part of your reward for reaching the final level is SURPRISE it’s a crossover?! Then he complains “TAY-to” didn’t add Captain Caveman (enough with the stupid caveman).
Then his rant is oddly cut off. Apparently, some of the dialogue got lost in editing. Why he couldn’t go back and fix this I don’t know. Instead the missing line is in the description. Lazy!

He keeps complaining, wondering why there’s no Scooby-Doo or Snorks (pfff) or Chan Clan though he scratches that one because he doesn’t want “Chan Clan bullshit”. Instead he wants Hong Kong Phooey, with a pointless cut to the theme song. We get it Chris, these cartoons existed. Focus on Flintstones.
He beats the final boss, comments that the ending is rather violent as Fred keeps beating him, and they live happily ever after. Until they get attacked by Grape Ape. Fuck off with the lazy references!

Pulls the game out and starts talking about “TAY-to’s” follow-up, Surprise at Dinosaur Peak. He notes how since the game came out in 1994, and the line got lost in editing. It’s in the description too, but looking it, something is off. “…and since this game came out in 1994, this made copies of the game very hard to come by, and years later…” The syntax still feels off. Again Chris, you need proofreaders.
Anyway, he brings up the game’s obscene price in modern times. He doesn’t seem to bring up the reason why it’s so high. There’s an urban legend that the game was a Blockbuster exclusive. However, there’s no evidence to back that up. I feel that’s important to address. But no, instead get him saying “Yabba Dabba Damn”. Hur…
If you’re wondering about his copy, it’s either a reproduction cart, or he took a spare NES cartridge, printed the cartridge label and taped it on. I doubt he has the money to drop on an average NES game. Since the footage he uses is all from an emulator, the cartridges are just for show.

He starts the game, notes how it’s really good and is much different from the shitty games he plays, while also making a reference to LJN. You’ve barely talked about LJN-published games. Only Back to the Future and X-Men. Don’t act like they’re your archenemy.
He brings up how you can play as both Fred and Barney, switching between the two on the fly. Then he says “Bless my demonic shit with holy water”. Jeez, this script is a dumpster fire.
He reaches the end of the first level and oh hey he says cutscene correctly this time. What was his excuse the first time? You know, I’m noticing that he’s getting a lot of basic terms wrong in this revival. Does Chris have some cognitive issues that result in him mispronouncing things?

Once again compares the overworld to Mario, shows the Hockey mini-game, shows a surfing level, shows Fred riding a giant wheel that IG calls a donut (this isn’t The Simpsons)
More “cameos” with him excited to see Mr. Slate. Okay…
Then he complains that “TAY-to” didn’t include any other Hanna-Barbara characters, referring to the action as “opening a Pandora’s Box”. I don’t think you understand what Pandora’s Box is.
Then he references more old H-B cartoons. What’s even the point? To show off to the kids that more than likely don’t know what these cartoons are?

He brings up that the game is easy, except for a part where you run from a giant red wheel. He gets angry that they dare put in a difficulty spike. He hates when they do that, an easy game with some sudden difficulty. Come the fuck on Chris, grow up.
Then a death montage which ends with him choking himself on his NES controller cord. Didn’t he do this move so many times before?
Then he starts listing off games with difficulty spikes. Like the Cave of Wonders in Aladdin, no not the SNES version, the Genesis version. Odd to go with that one. Then the race with Metal Sonic in Sonic CD (I seriously doubt he played that), the seaweed in TMNT on NES (I swear, he’s only played like 4 games in his entire life and keeps going back to them), and a Ren & Stimpy game? Okay, I get the feeling Jonas added that one, same with Sonic CD.

He once again summarizes that he hates when “easy peasy” games suddenly hit you with bullshit. My god, he is such a casual fuck.
He wants to destroy the game, but since it’s so expensive (oh please, we know that’s not a legit copy), he’s just going to put it on his shelf and glare menacingly at it. He then puts it on a… tiger holder? Oh, it’s just an excuse to do the “It’s a living” gag. Blaaaaah

That was… boring. So very boring.
It felt more like an excuse to show off all the old cartoons he knows. Just make a video about Hanna-Barbara cartoons instead, you clearly care more about those than video games.
Once again, I apologize for the lateness. I’ll try to be better going forward. Stay safe everyone, and hopefully this pandemic finally slows down.

A Total Failure to Launch

It’s a new year everybody! A time for renewal and refreshing. Let’s make this year a wonderf- *terrorists attack the Capitol demanding blood* … I’m going back to bed.

Despite that major road bump, let’s hopefully do better all around. Unfortunately, Bores would rather retread old ground.
After taking some time off for “reasons”, Bores returns with a new video covering the 17 launch titles for the NES. While this could work for a better content creator, we know IG does not have the talent to pull it off. Especially since he’s already covered six of the games in previous videos (Duck Hunt, Excitebike, Kung-Fu, Donkey Kong Jr. Math, and both ROB-compatible games). I sense there will be some form of padding even though it’s only 15 minutes long (meaning some games are going to get a glance at most).

Let’s begin!

The video opens with IG walking in and telling us the subject, with a few of the titles in front of him. Along with Super Mario Bros, which wasn’t a launch title. The only Mario game at launch was Wrecking Crew. A mistake already?
“Strap yourselves in, this is gonna be a long one” Are you sure about that?

Theme song. Interestingly enough, there’s no more “Inspired by AVGN”. That’s a plus but it makes me wonder why he removed it. Trouble in paradise?
But first, he has a sponsorship from Ekster, a site that makes high-end wallets. Not entirely sure if it’s a real brand deal though. While he links it in the description, there’s no discount provided. Don’t these deals offer special discounts to make you sign up? 10% off your purchase, a free month, this just seems like Chris saying “Hey check out these cool wallets, they exist”.

He starts with history, how the NES came to America in 1985, how breaking in was difficult due to the crash, and how they marketed it as a toy not a video game. Didn’t he already talk about this in the ROB videos?
He starts with Gyromite. Oh hey, he gets the protagonist’s name right! Professor Hector. Here’s a gold star. No acknowledgement that you got it wrong the first time? Pfft of course not.
He brings up Duck Hunt, yells “FIRE!” a few times, and the dog laughs at him and of course he still gets angry. GET NEW MATERIAL! I’m not kidding, he shows the ending to the Duck Hunt video again where he uppercuts the dog into the Mortal Kombat pit. Is he just damn proud of that scene or something?

The NES launched, had 17 titles, shows an old advertisement, and starts with… Super Mario Bros. Again, not a launch title. Gaming historian Frank Cifladi even wrote an article for Gamasutra on how we can’t pinpoint the exact date Super Mario Bros came out in North America (in Japan we know it’s September 13th 1985). Then he starts gushing on how great it was and how it was different from Atari and for the love of Miyamoto you’ve done this already! Are we just pretending Chris Neo didn’t happen? Why not include that as a weird experiment so that you don’t discuss the same things over and over again? God, imagine if he does a review of Deadly Towers again...
More gushing and he refers to the Fire Flower as a “bonus item”. I’d consider a power-up different from a bonus but whatever. Then a really weird comment about how the first time he found a Warp Zone, he had to grab a new pair of underwear because he “literally flipped (his) shit”. I’m sorry, what? What the hell is “flipping shit” meant to be? Is it the act of defecation? Is it a slang term in Ohio? This joke makes no sense! I thought you were getting help with writing these Chris?

After referring to the secrets as “easter eggs” (I feel the two are different), he moves on to Stack-Up. Then, no joke, it cuts to old 2008 footage of him pulling Stack-Up off his shelf. Does he think we’re stupid? It’s so obvious! The footage looks worse, and he’s wearing a long-sleeve light blue shirt (his shirt in the new footage has short sleeves). Did Chris sell his copy of Stack-Up and that’s why he did that? No, it’s stupid to do that either way. He really has no faith in his audience. I do notice that he hasn’t shown either of his ROBs (neither the Japanese or International versions), makes me wonder if he sold those too.

Oh that’s not even the end of it. He shows the old 2008 footage of him playing with ROB! Not even acknowledging that it’s old. What’s even dumber is that he shows footage of ROB playing Gyromite not Stack-Up. I’m now convinced he no longer has a ROB and that’s why he did that. If you have to use old footage like this, then maybe you shouldn’t do the video at all. Stretch your creative muscles. Try something different!

After saying Stack-Up isn’t fun, he moves onto Hogan’s Alley. It becomes apparent that his NES isn’t plugged in, doesn’t even try turning it on.
He explains the first mode, gets some lame bits where he dramatically aims his gun, then he complains that it gets faster as he keeps missing. Then a cringy bit where one of the gangsters shows up in real life and hits him.
Onto the second mode in the town, where he doesn’t say much. Then the third mode with the cans which he doesn’t seem to like. He doesn’t explain why, he just looks annoyed then says “Come on what else you got?” Great reviewing skills, totally not the sign of a hack.

He moves on to Wild Gunman. Of course, we get a dumb bit where he takes the Western aesthetic seriously with close-ups and letterboxing the screen. Shooting the guy and spitting on the ground. Boring. Then he says “these light gun games were the absolute funk” … What? Who says that? My god, he really is a boomer…
He gushes about the game, claims the music and sound effects are really great, then he refers to the enemies as banditos, but also gringos. Does Chris not know what those words mean? Banditos refer to Mexican bandits, and most of those sprites don’t reflect that, while gringo refers to non-Hispanic or Latino people, usually Americans. Maybe they’re gringos in the game, but really they’re what Japanese developers remember from old Western movies they watched.
He comments that he’s glad there’s no civilians to mess you up, and I know when he says that something pops up. It does, and it’s fucking Ronnie. Just a pointless bit where he shows up while New Super Mario Bros music plays. NEXT!

IG starts talking about the sports games that came out at launch. Starting with 10-Yard Fight, claiming he loved playing it as a kid (major doubt). But he thinks the sounds in it are really bad and five minutes of playing gave him tinnitus. Because that’s… funny? Ugggh. He also makes a comment about John Madden having greasy Cheeto-covered mitts. That didn’t become an issue until much later when EA (not John Madden) secured exclusive rights. Also, he shows the cover for Madden ‘92 like it’s the first game, when the actual first game was simply John Madden Football for MS-DOS in 1988.

He moves onto Baseball, comments at how generic the name is, then complains that there’s only six teams. “Talk about a bare-bones game” It’s a launch title, of course it’s bare bones!
He then brings up that the game was developed by the legendary Shigeru “Mai-ya-moto”. Are you fucking serious?! It’s “Me-ya-moto”. How did you make a mistake THAT bad?! What the hell?! He did mention on Facebook that this video was similar to History of Video Games. In that case, this is a good clue at how dreadful the later installments would have been. Jeez, considering the countless number of Japanese developers, it would have been a disaster.
He also brings up a quote he allegedly said in 2016 about wanting a baseball. I say allegedly because he doesn’t source it. Cool.
He mentions it can be challenging, and when he gets an out, the Price is Right horns play (more boomer evidence), then he yells that he was “struck out”. Uh no, you were tagged out. There’s a big difference between the two. I don’t even care for sports and I know that!

He moves onto Soccer and right off the bat he notices it has 7 teams. He says “up your baseball”. You do realize that Soccer was developed two years after Baseball was right? Baseball came out in Japan in 1983, Soccer came out two years later. Nintendo likely had a better handle on things, plus it was developed by Intelligent Systems.
He doesn’t say much, just comments on the noise made when you score a goal and how likes the cheerleaders during half-time. Really?
Wait hold on… Soccer wasn’t a launch title. At least according to an article on Wired. While Wikipedia says differently, they cite the instruction manual for some reason. Bleh, I wish information about this era was better preserved.

Onto Golf. He notes how it didn’t seem possible to put all 18 holes in the game, but they managed to do it thanks to… oh my god “the legendary Satoro EYE-O-wata”. Wow, I thought the Miyamoto bit was bad, but this is next level fucked. You couldn’t take five minutes to ask yourself “Am I saying this right?” Surely you remember all the tributes to Iwata after he passed away. Surely you could have heard them pronounce it. Lazy lazy LAZY

He also brings up how the golfers resemble Mario and Luigi, but then says they look more like Captain Lou Albano’s version. You do realize that Albano playing Mario was years after this right? Also, going by the obscure Wii game Captain Rainbow, the golfer is actually called Ossan, though that was an internal name for Mario used during the development of Donkey Kong
Anyway, he says Mario in two launch titles was surprising as it never happens. Then Professor Hector shows up in IG’s room and complains that he was in two launch titles too. IG takes off his shoe and throws it at him. … Is this meant to be funny? Also, is Chris not wearing pants?
He claims to have played the game hours (again, major doubt) and complains about the wind messing up his shots. Then says “talk about an asshole in one”. My head hurts now…

Moving onto Tennis, but he stops to point out the intro music is the same as Pro Wrestling and gets mad about it. So? Nintendo made both games. They’re free to recycle music and sounds all they want. It’s not like they stole it.
He doesn’t say anything about the game, just noticing how Mario is the referee. He then tells the Professor that it’s another point for him. He throws IG’s shoe back at him, and he yells “Hey, don’t be a sore loser”. Between “hey” and “don’t”, there’s an obvious jump cut. You couldn’t do that in one take? This guy seriously wants to be on TV…

Onto Kung-Fu, which he doesn’t talk about for long, instead telling you to watch his original review from 2015. Which he defines as “a couple years ago”. Six is not a couple Chris. It’s even worse because he shows the release date it for in the video (including the fact that after nearly six years it still hasn’t exceeded 100k views)

He continues on to Clu Clu Land, as he wonders what a “Clu Clu” is. He thinks it’s the character in the game. No. If you a took a minute, you’d find that “Clu Clu” is an anglicization of “Kuru Kuru”, the Japanese onomatopoeia for going “around and around”. In fact the player character’s name is Bubbles. Really, a proper title would be “Round and Round Land”., but I’m not 80’s Nintendo.
He calls the game confusing, compares it to Pac-Man because of the maze aspect (not really), then he ends it commenting how the game flickers causing a “Pokemon Porygon episode sized seizure” … Really? Porygon references? In 2021? Also, faking having a seizure isn’t cool or funny Chris. That was pretty awful. Oh, and he has Porygon show up because of course… this is almost over just a little bit more.

Onto Ice Climber. Mentions their appearance in Smash Bros, comments on the enemies, claims you can “tell” this game was made in the 80’s because the polar bear has a speedo and sunglasses (whatever), and complains about the jumping and how the screen moves up. Then a failure montage, then some forced cursing and a polar bear from the game appears next to him and tells him to chill out. Where’s the joke?

He very briefly talks about Pinball. Only bringing up how there’s birds, and a bonus game with Mario and Pauline. Followed by more of the dumb running gag with Professor Hector who screams “Noooo” when told Mario is in more games.

He then moves onto the final game, Wrecking Crew. Wait hold on there’s a few missing. Where’s DK Jr. Math? Where’s Excitebike? Where’s Mach Rider? Those were all launch titles. I know he talked about the first two before, and has said multiple times he doesn’t like Mach Rider, but if this is meant to be about the NES launch titles, it should be about the NES launch titles. Hello? Am I alone here?
Anyway, Wrecking Crew. Brings up Mario being in the game of course. For some reason he refers to it as a “sleeper hit”. I don’t think you’re using that term correctly Chris.
Explains the game a little, gets annoyed at the enemies called “Gotcha Wrenches”. Why is that bad exactly? Fits Mario’s goofy aesthetic.
He ends it bringing up that there two sequels released only in Japan. Two? I can only find one (Wrecking Crew ’98). It came out in 1998 for the Super Famicom. It didn’t leave Japan because NoA was focusing on the Nintendo 64. He only brings up the fact it never came out in America, followed by a forced “wrench up the ass” line.

And that’s all. He once again comments on Mario being in more launch games than Professor Hector, causing the professor to drop a girder on IG and ending the video. Uggggggggggggggh….

Oh hey, seems Chris did get some help on this one as he thanks LineageView. My informant found his channel and found he posted a long video about the work he did. Apparently, all he did was the effects work for the sprites that show up in his room. … Really? You finally get people to help you Chris, and it’s just for the effects? Not the writing or the acting or any of the bigger issues you have? You’re that confident that you’re so witty that you don’t need anyone’s help in that aspect? And you wonder why the Travel Channel rejected you.

That was mostly boring. Padded with nonsense. Again, a much more competent content creator could have made something interesting out of this. Maybe a deeper history lesson into the launch of the Famicom and their expansion westward, or how the NES had a soft-launch in New York that eventually got more and more popular, or talk about the people behind these games, preferably with the ability to properly pronounce their names. Seriously, he expected people to take History of Video Games seriously but he can’t pronounce Miyamoto?

That’s it for me. Please fucking behave in the comments. I prefer if you didn’t spam or attack others.
Also be sure to wear a mask and wash your hands. Hopefully we’ll soon be vaccinated and find a way to get things to somewhat normal again. 

Articles mentioned:

Frank Cifaldi's article on the true release date of Super Mario Bros 

Wired article on the launch of the NES 

The Top 11 Worst Moments of 2020

 It goes without saying but this year suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked! Let’s put it all behind us and look ahead. But first, a look back at the worst Irate Gamer moments of 2020.

Since Chris decided now would be the best time to come back to Irate Gamer with somewhat regular content, I can actually do one of these. I know some of you are quite happy about that.

Without further delay, here is the list.

11. The Abandonment of GeekTime

Starting the list with something that isn’t really that bad but is mostly indictive of Chris’ inability to stick with a project. Last year, Chris had shown great interest in podcasts, and even wanted to start one. So he did, with his friend Tim Walker. Taking the title from a segment on Howard Stern (that’s likely where it’s from), the two started GeekTime: The Next Generation. Where they would talk about all things “geeky” like movies, comics, toys, and sometimes games.
However, there were problems. Turns out neither of them had much in the way of charisma and were not remarkably interesting to listen to. They also over-relied on soundbites like a radio DJ, which got irritating fast.
Chris really believed this would be his next hit, pushing it hard on YouTube with short segments that did not win over viewers. A particularly bad one was a segment about how the Joker movie sucked, but it was based on the trailer. They also didn’t like overly long theme song that played in the very first sample provided. Can’t imagine how they’d react to his baffling Smash Bros. views (ME WANT BURGERTIME IN SMASH)

And so, after six episodes, GeekTime silently came to an end. No official word, nothing from Chris or Tim saying “it’s over”, just a quiet cancellation. GeekTime content was removed from his channel, apart from the sixth and final episode. Though he still links the Podbean page with all six episodes still there.
Maybe if Chris kept at it, he could develop some charisma and provide thoughts and ideas that didn’t make him come off like a total boomer. Too bad that won’t happen now.

10. Simpsons Clips are not a Substitute for Content

IG celebrated Halloween this year with something a little different. A Simpsons game, specifically the one based on the Treehouse of Horror episodes. It’s a mediocre game but it should have had plenty to talk about, right? Well, Chris decided to fill half his video with Simpsons clips. Many with little set-up or point. What little content he did have was… lame as hell. Like saying “fuck” and having it appear in text. Because that’s a joke somehow…
It does make me wonder how he’s making money from these. Along with the copyrighted material, he curses a lot. Only one video had a genuine sponsorship, the others seemed fake (no link in the description or anything). He still won’t open a Patreon either. It is a mystery.

9. Stale Turtle Soup

A strange theme with the Irate Gamer relaunch is recycling old material. The first example of this was talking about old TMNT games again.
In a video he bragged about getting to 20 minutes in length (which he had to really pad out), Bores either repeats many of his old points, or outright lies and contradicts his old points. Like his anger towards the “two new levels” of the NES port suddenly became total glee and excitement and “the reason” he bought the NES version. The only positive I can say is that he finally figured out that Turtles in Time was originally an Arcade game, though he never acknowledges that he made a mistake. I wonder if the Arcade 1Up machine is how he found out…

8. No Amount of People Can Help

For the longest time, I have pushed for Chris to get people to help with his videos. Someone to veto bad ideas or add new ones or do something different. This year, he finally did that. It became clear to me that a video production is like a car. You can replace various parts and keep things running, but if the engine is bad then the whole thing falls apart. Chris is the engine. No matter how many people he gets to help, if his direction is still nonsense, then the videos will be crap. As shown with his video on Punisher games. He got someone to help him, but it suffered from a lot of the same problems as his other videos. Bad jokes, barely any “reviewing”, needless movie clips, all that changed is he got someone to do the heavy lifting. I can only hope all these people are getting paid, otherwise Chris will have a scandal that will destroy him.

7. The Ghosts n’ Goblins Series is Supposed to be Hard

Before the Simpsons video above, Bores did another Halloween episode. Following up his Ghosts n’ Goblins review from 13 years ago, he decides to look at the sequel, Ghouls n’ Ghosts, on Sega Genesis. What we get is a painfully stupid slog where he cries over and over again about how hard the game is, missing the point entirely. He mostly praises the graphics and some of the changes made (the golden armor being one) while complaining “Why this no in first gamme?!” The whole video reeked of someone that only just found out the week before that the game existed and doesn’t understand how sequels work.
Also, he had a bootleg copy. No idea why, the game isn’t that expensive.
Think he’ll talk about the new game that just got announced for Switch?

6. Lazy Cameos

When Bores announced his big comeback with Ghostbusters, he teased that there would be an appearance from actor Ernie Hudson. When the video came, he made sure we knew Hudson was in it with the title and thumbnail. When he showed up… it was a lazy cell phone video that felt really out of place.
Then people did a little digging and found out the truth. Chris went to cameo.com and paid $75 for Hudson to record a stock message (as it included Hudson mentioning his other roles like Oz and The Hand That Rocks the Cradle). Chris just lazily pasted the message into different points of his video. Interesting enough, Hudson raised his rate to $135. I doubt it’s related to this though.

This would be the start of a trend as Chris would continue to include lazily done paid cameos from 80’s “icons” in his videos. Including Rob Paulsen in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Peter Weller in RoboCop. While Paulsen’s cameo had a little more effort in it with him saying some lines as Raphael, Weller’s cameo was clearly done just to get it done. He filmed it while taking a walk, and barely bothered to learn Chris’ name (calling him Chris Irate… though knowing Bores he probably wanted to be called that).
Bores acted like these cameos were huge deals that his fans would love, when most people saw through the lame use of an online service. Can’t imagine he made enough money on those videos to justify the cost. Although, there is one cameo that deserves special mention. Leading us into…
 
5. The Angry Video Game Nerd *ahem* “Crossover”

2020 is the year of “what the actual fuck”. With everyone stuck at home, we bared witness to all sorts incessant insanity. What happened here… was not one of them.
Shortly after his big comeback video, IG put out a teaser for a crossover nobody saw coming. One 13 years in the making. A crossover with the Angry Video Game Nerd. The internet, known for reacting like animals over the smallest of news, went…. “meh”
For those somehow unaware, there are two reasons Bores became notable. YouTube featuring his videos, and people pointing out what a shameless Angry Video Game Nerd rip-off he is. The latter basically made him a joke (even though it was the least of his problems) and despite numerous accusations, Chris purposely avoided talking about it. Over time he would make brief mentions of the AVGN, like in his 200th video (that was deleted), the “E-begging Spoof” (that he still hasn’t deleted) and the controversial Opening Up video (which he also hasn’t deleted). But the two would never work together. … Until now!

Promising a big “Summer of AVGN” (that never happened), Bores went all out in marketing the crossover. Banners on YouTube and Facebook, trailers, a live stream about the video, even releasing a t-shirt! I can’t imagine the kind of person that would buy that.
Wait, what game would they be talking about though? Surely something epically bad right? It was Dick Tracy. Wait, a game the Nerd has already covered? That doesn’t make sense.
The day finally came, and the truth was revealed. It wasn’t a crossover at all, it was a glorified cameo. All that hype for, at most, two minutes of screentime. Maybe Chris does have a future in marketing? Oh wait, the “meh” reaction came from the fact that most people didn’t know IG was still around and felt this crossover would have made more sense in 2009 when AVGN was still great. Though Chris claims James organized things, Screenwave giant Justin Silverman noted in an interview that he was responsible. Sounds about right…

IG would continue referencing the Nerd in future videos, yet James has at no point referenced the video’s existence. This, and the above-mentioned videos still existing, calls into question a common thing a lot of people were saying when the video came out. That James and Chris were now friends, and we should stop making fun of Irate Gamer. Ignoring that the plagiarism aspect is only a small part of why he sucks. Are they really “friends” though? Chris says that, but Chris is a pathological liar. I doubt they have much of a working relationship outside of Justin forcing James to film that cameo (also the Puppet Steve voice work but I don’t know if Screenwave was involved in that). Who knows, maybe we’ll see more when COVID slows down.

4. A Bizarre Obsession with Arcades

This year, Chris has gone coo-coo crazy over Arcade cabinets. Rather, “affordable” replicas of Arcade cabinets. Though the signs were there at the tail-end of Chris Neo, it really exploded this year. He remodeled his basement to look like an Arcade, and most videos have to reference an Arcade game of some kind. The zenith of this was a video talking about how ports of Arcade games to Atari and NES were inferior, a concept that anyone with a brain could tell you. It felt more like Chris wanting to show off all his Arcade 1Up toys. Hell, his last video of the year was shilling a Dragon’s Lair Arcade replica. A game that you can easily play on your PS4, Xbone or Switch RIGHT NOW

All these cabinets could not have been cheap. Where did he get the money? I have noticed that he doesn’t talk about Switch games, even on Puppet Steve. Did he sell his Switch? That would explain why he didn’t go crazy over Steve in Smash (a prediction I am glad I was wrong about).
Still, to remodel the whole basement? Makes me wonder if he’s going through a mid-life crisis.

3. How to Make Cereal Annoying

You thought Irate Gamer was the only thing returning this year? Surprise! I Rate the 80’s is back! For some reason.
However, he has only talked about cereal. Because he still doesn’t understand that “comedy” videos about cereal very rarely work.
He talked about the short-lived Nintendo cereal, spending 15 minutes gushing about it yet never saying if it was good or not. Ending off on a hyper-cringe reenactment of the commercial, adding verses to the jingle that really didn’t need to be added. It was absolutely awful. This is someone that wants to be on TV.
He followed up with a video on the Family Matters tie-in cereal Urkel-O’s because he referenced it in the above video, and was surprised people thought he was joking (and the fact he doesn’t understand why people thought that shows why he fails as a comedian). It was 9 minutes of “Family Matters was great, this cereal exists”. Along with poorly dubbing over an error he made about Urkel’s catchphrase.
Stop talking about cereal! There is no audience!

2. Recycled RoboCop Rubbish

With 8 IG videos, 2 80’s videos, and one shilling video, what was the worst out of all of these? Easily, RoboCop.
Making this the THIRD time he’s talked about RoboCop on NES, Chris expands on it by also talking about the Arcade game (yep), the Game Boy games, and RoboCop vs Terminator. You’d think that would make it better right? Thing is, he did a lot of recycling. As in, taking footage from his old 2011 RoboCop video and repurposing it with no changes. Ignoring the fact that 9 years ago he was in an entirely different house and room. Does he think his viewers are so stupid that they wouldn’t notice? He seemed more concerned with having Peter Weller than making a decent video. The only thing he seemed to try was writing around the Wise Sage, who had a comment about Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis in the original that was instead delivered by Bores. Making me wonder if Eric Allen (Wise Sage’s actor) had a falling out with Chris.
Either way, the sheer laziness and ineptitude on display here made this the worst video of the year. But not the worst moment. Oh no, that dubious honor goes to…

1.  The Absolute Insanity of the Ghost Doctor

We have long established that Bores is obsessed with ghosts. Whether it’s hunting them or claiming to be a “behaviorist”, he can’t get enough. He’s also so dedicated to his own methods that he ended up getting kicked out of a paranormal Facebook group for being hostile to other members trying different ideas.
Hence, his endless pursuit of getting a TV show and constantly retooling his ghost material in the hopes of getting a deal. This time, Chris is now the “Ghost Doctor”.
Chris claims he had a TV deal in the works with the Travel Channel, but he was passed over for Jason Hawes’ “Ghost Nation”. He’s super bitter about it, making several angry Facebook posts about the show. I have serious doubts that he was even considered. They would rather invest in someone with history than some talentless nobody with zero charisma. TV is slowly dying anyway; streaming is the future.

Deterred by this “setback”, Chris decided to open another YouTube channel dedicated to the Ghost Doctor, where he would post the pilot and several other ghost videos that the paranormal community tried to hold back (pfffft yeah right). But before he did that, he decided to showcase who he really is.
After an introduction video, he posted a video claiming that a “Paranormal Pandemic” is coming (in the middle of an actual pandemic), and that we’re not doing enough to stop it. Showcasing out of context celebrity clips where they “praise Satan”, claiming that negativity in general will send you to Hell, how you don’t even have to worship Satan to be a Satanist, how aliens are really just ghosts, how we no longer have picnics at graveyards, and all sorts of batshit lunacy that I’m surprised hasn’t been mocked more.
Then after that, he posted a video where he claimed to hear the ghost of George Floyd, likely to “cash in” on the Black Lives Matter protests and somehow make himself sound legit. I know I didn’t make a post about it, but it really needed to be mentioned.
He hasn’t done a video like that since. Mostly just uploads of his “hunts”, including one where he claims to talk to the Wright brothers.

I’m surprised Bores is still trying with this shit. Ghost Doctor isn’t popular at all, only one video has over 10k views (not counting the Coast to Coast AM interview that he didn’t make). Though ghost stuff is super niche, Bores clearly can’t break into the market. Perhaps it’s time to try a new hobby? Or at least, keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to watch videos about it. Then again, this could also be part of his midlife crisis.

Whew, and that is the list! A lot sure has happened this year, and that’s with everybody stuck inside.
What will happen next year? Will Chris stop gushing about Arcade games? Will he try modern games again? Is the James Rolfe friendship real or just a lie? Is Chris’ claim that he has multiple editors working on multiple videos true? Either way, I’ll be here to cover it.

As we head into the new year, please be safe. Wash your hands, wear a mask, stay away from people, and be careful.

There will be a Year End List

I am aware Bores posted a new IG videos the other day, however it's really more of an advertisement than an actual video so I feel it's not worth covering. Just Bores gushing about an Arcade replica of Dragon's Lair. It felt like Chris Neo again. Dull and not worth it.

 

He also did a short video for some no-name author about his book on NES games. In it he says "Super Mario Bros changed my life". *shudders* Moviebob flashbacks. 

 

But yeah, I will be doing a year end list for the first time since 2016.

 

Sorry for the zero-effort post. Also, quit arguing with each other.

Back into the Tinfoil Pit

It's been a couple weeks since a new Irate Gamer hasn't it?

 

Chris did say on Facebook that he's been having some health problems. Okay, fair enough. Health takes priority over all. But I find it weird that a few hours later, he crowed about how great the upcoming episode of Ghost Doctor will be. 

He even posted a new one where he claims to talk to the Wright brothers (pfffft). There's also several Puppet Steve videos (still no Smash Bros though).

But that's not what I want to talk about. Oh no no no no. As this hellscape of a year closes, Conspiracy Chris pops his head out once again.

 

In case you've somehow avoided all news the past several months (and if you have, tell me how), the United States had their Presidential election. After a tense few days, Joe Biden has been projected to be the winner and coming January 20th, 2021, will serve as the new President. The supporters of Donald Trump were furious, calling the election rigged, full of fraud, claiming the media is lying, and finding all kinds of excuses to claim Trump was really the winner after all. It's a salty snowflake parade!

If you aren't aware, Chris is a Trump supporter, and totally into conspiracy theories. Garbage ones of course. But that's fairly commen for people that support him. They'll believe all kinds of retarded crap.

All this talk of the "media lying" likely inspired him to post this.

Oooh wow. Basically, Chris had these big secret meetings 8-9 years ago that expose all the seedy underbelly of YouTube and the Gaming community. It's dire shit people! Oh, but Chris can't tell you what he heard. No sir, not at all.

... Do it.

Just fucking do it.

Tell us all about it.

What do you think will happen? Truth is, you're a nobody. Whatever it is, I doubt it's that bad. Especially if it's from 8 years ago. YouTube has changed DRASTICALLY since then. Clearly whatever horrors you claim to have seen, probably no longer matter.

Chances are, you don't actually know anything. You just want attention don't you? Considering this post got way more comments and reactions than he normally gets, it worked a little.

Oh, but Chris does have an excuse. As seen in this reply.

I'm sorry... what?

Okay, so I looked into this a little. Using incognito mode of course. Earlier in the year, someone accused Tom Hanks of becoming a Greek citizen because in Greece, they consider pedophilia a disability. Let's unpack that.

While Hanks did indeed become a Greek citizen, it was not for that reason. There is no credible evidence that Tom Hanks is a pedophile. This "connection" was made because in 2012, Greece considered adding pedophilia along with other behavioral disorders like compulsive gambling, voyeurism, and pyromania to their list of disabilities. There was a massive backlash in the country, and the plan fell through. So as of 2020, it's no longer on the list. I read up on this from USA Today.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2020/08/13/fact-check-tom-hanks-greek-citizen-but-pedophilia-claim-false/3353055001/

Looking a little further, these accusations of Hanks being a pedo go back to at least 2018. All stemming from .... *sighs* QAnon. Of course Chris believes that fucking garbage. QAnon is like a magnet for drooling dipshits.

All stemming from the cries of "Hollywood is full of pedophiles". While there is possibly a tiny morsel of truth in there, it's likely not as bad as these nutcases claim.

Chris, I'm going to say this as nicely as possible. You need to get off Facebook. It is not healthy. You need to expand your library of information. Having it tailored to you does far more harm than good. I got off Facebook years ago and I feel so much better for it.

 

Sorry for the... different post today. But my informant showed me that Facebook post and I thought "No way I'm letting this slide".

Stay safe everyone. Wash your hands, wear a mask, stay inside, just don't act like a moron about it.

Treehouse of Boring

Happy Halloween everyone! While I’m sure you’d love to go party, it’s best that you don’t. Stay home and watch a horror movie. Do it in costume if you have to.

Turns out that last week’s episode was not the Halloween special. Instead, it came out last night. Irate Gamer celebrates the holiday with… The Simpsons? Okay sure, Treehouse of Horror is a Halloween staple but really?
No, he’s not looking at the NES games like he promised all those years ago. Instead he’ll be looking at the THQ published Game Boy Color exclusive “Night of the Living Treehouse of Horror”.
For some reason, the video title has him listing the Game Boy Advance even though it’s a GBC game. Sure, the GBA can play all Game Boy software, but it seems pointless to bring it up in the title.
The thumbnail has Donut-head Homer from Treehouse IV, Raven Bart from Treehouse I and IG dressed like Dracula with some really terrible looking fake teeth. Did he buy them from the dollar store?

14 minutes long, ready yourself.

The video opens with Irate Gamer rising up like Dracula and welcoming us. He points out today’s video is about The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror game, and remarks that he didn’t know it even existed. Most don’t. Then he makes a “joke” about “Luigi’s Pumpkin Carving Simulator” … What?

Theme song, a slight remix of last week’s cover. No credit to Lame Genie though. Did they not work on it this time? Or is Chris back to denying credit to other people.
No sponsorship either (real or fake).

We return with IG telling us about the Treehouse of Horror episodes. He shows a clip from Treehouse III’s “Dial Z for Zombies”. Does he want to make any money from this?
Mentions how it’s annual, then he follows with a clip from Treehouse IV’s “Terror at 5 ½ Feet”. The part where Bart tells Otto there’s a “Gremlin” on the side of the bus, and he sees Hans Moleman in an AMC Gremlin. Oh, come on, that’s not even the best part of the joke!

We cut back to him standing behind a bunch of Simpsons figures because Chris always has to show off his toys. He notes how other shows weren’t doing Halloween episodes (not true, every successful sitcom had one or two) and its part of the reason it became a big hit “later in its life cycle”. The Simpsons started as a big hit, and the Treehouse episodes were only a tiny reason why.
Then a clip from Treehouse V’s “The Shinning”. Is this to make up for your lack of humor?

He gives an anecdote about wanting to watch Treehouse II, as it was the “second year” and he was already a big fan. Third season Chris, you even established that the first Treehouse was in Season 2. Do you ever proofread what you write?
Anyway, he tried to record it with his VCR because he went on a camping trip but found the tape only contained the first 10 minutes. Followed by a clip from the end of Treehouse II.
But then he just goes on and on about the episodes all while showing clips. It’s rather boring…

He shows his pile of Simpsons games, picks up the one he’ll be talking about, and puts it in his GBA SP. Do you think that’s charged or is it another prop?
He praises the intro, calling it “pretty fun”. Not really, it’s just the family on the couch (with Bart in his blue shirt for some reason) and the lights go out. That’s it. Seems pretty lame to me.

He starts with the level based on Bad Dream House (the very first Treehouse segment) where Bart has to go in and find Santa’s Little Helper. He notes how at the end, he’s not with the family so he’s still in the house. But then he’s confused because the segment ended with the house imploding.
“We’re going to have to suspend belief” That’s disbelief, you suspend disbelief. How did you mix the two?
“I know this game is going to be epic!” … No.
“…after playing it for five minutes, my excitement for it bursts open wider than a wet fart on a wooden chair” Followed by a fart sound. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. Bursting with excitement is a good thing. It’s a positive feeling. Did you mean your expectations? This line really doesn’t make sense. Felt like he wanted to put in a fart joke at any cost.

He blames THQ for making the game a scavenger hunt rather than a basic sidescroller. Why do you expect everything to be a sidescroller? Here’s your problem Chris, you go in into games expecting them to play a certain way and get mad when they don’t. That’s not how you approach reviewing games.
Also, THQ was only the publisher. The developer was British studio Software Creations, who were acquired by Acclaim and died off in 2004. Just three years after this game came out. What a shame…
Then he gets mad because he hates scavenger hunts, and yells “Fuck”, with a giant black and yellow “Fuck” on screen. But then he remembers it’s Halloween and delivers a “Fuck” in a deeper voice with white text dripping blood. My god the cringe… do the fans find putting the text on screen so hilarious? He did this joke before.

He goes over how the game works, how you need to find fuses to work the fuse box and keys to get in the attic and if you don’t fix the power the lights go out. He lists off some of the enemies like vacuum cleaners, books, and broomsticks. He calls them out for ripping off “Mickey Mouse cartoons” You mean Fantasia?
Then he wonders why there’s no bleeding walls or monsters like in the original segment. Pssst, it’s a game for kids. I know it’s easy to forget but The Simpsons isn’t really a series for children. Sometimes they have to tone things down, like how Homer in Lego Dimensions only drinks Buzz Cola not Duff Beer.
Also, what monsters? Bad Dream House didn’t really have those. It had an evil house on top of an Indian Burial Ground that made the walls bleed, had a portal to Hell, and made the Simpsons try to kill each other.
Then he sees hands rising from the ground, which he lets slide because it’s like the zombie episode.

He complains that the health bar is pointless because the enemies take a lot of life if you’re hit. Then what do you prefer? 1 hit kills? No wait, he wants to not die. No challenge!
He calls Bart’s slingshot useless because it doesn’t work on the ground-hands. Pretty sure you’re not meant to kill them. They’re stage hazards like spikes. You don’t go into Mega Man trying to kill the spike floors. This is worse as in the footage following, it has Bart clearly killing a rat. Your points and the footage do not match!
He complains that the enemies include rats and spiders and refers to it as a “Master Splinter infestation” and photoshops Splinter standing in front of The Simpsons as they watch the house implode. …  What’s the joke? Also, they had to take liberties somehow! It would make sense for an old spooky mansion to have vermin anyway.

He complains about the slingshot some more, saying that it fires off in angles that trigonometry can’t figure out. … It’s an arch. Also, it’s clear from the footage you’re not trying. He also fumbles the word “trajectory”. Sounding more like “tra-jec-tury”.
Then a clip of Professor Frink from Homer³ because… math.
Then he points out that going “Mario on his ass” (with sound effect) doesn’t work. Gee you think? Also, that’s not half your health bar. Come on.

He gets to the basement, which is full of “precision platforming”. Though in the first clip he purposely dies. Aftewards, it shows a montage where Bart goes through the platforms. That’s not really precision, that’s just bad design.
He references the Springfield Gorge scene because… Simpsons
He also points out the Indian Burial Ground is throughout the level and plays the clip.

He collects the fuses and keys and complains that this first level, which should have only taken five minutes, took him 40. Sounds like a “you” problem.
Then he calls it a “FrankenFuck” with the same bleeding text. Blaaaaah.
Calls it a Fantasia rip-off and finishes up.

He moves onto the next part where you play as Maggie with the body of a fly. He wonders what “Jeff Goldblum shit” this is and edits the poster for The Fly to include Maggie. Do you not know about Treehouse VIII’s “Fly vs Fly”, which is an open parody of the 1986 movie with Bart becoming a fly due to a matter transporter mishap?
Oh… he does know. Because he brings it up after showing the edited poster. Including the fact that it was Bart that turned into a fly. He calls it “ridiculous” that it’s Maggie instead. Probably a demand from the license holders to include Maggie in some way. Happens with a lot of shitty licensed games.
He compares this level to Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers on NES. … I don’t see it. Especially since you don’t fly in that game.
He says that one enemy should be in Super Mario Bros. Mario doesn’t hold exclusive rights to using Venus flytraps!
He points out some of the references like Mr. Sparkle, Blinky the three-eyed fish (doesn’t say his name) and jars of Krusty Beans, which he doesn’t recall from the show. They don’t exist in the show proper but remember that Krusty puts his name on any product no matter how pointless or terrible. Of course he would put his name on beans. Critical thinking is important.
Collect the microchips and take them to the transporter, which IG confuses with Homer’s time-traveling toaster from Treehouse V’s “Time and Punishment”. It’s not the toaster, it’s the matter transporter.
And yes, he plays a clip.

Of course, he doesn’t get that (because he didn’t bother reading the text) and instead gets Marge running through Springfield shooting down zombies. Saying it’s “based on the Zombie Simpsons episode”. Which one? There are hundreds of Zombie Simpsons episodes. (I know he means “Dial Z for Zombie”; Zombie Simpsons has become a colloquial term for the series after Season 10 that fans use to describe the shambling mess that keeps going and going).
He praises the enemies being Springfield residents as zombies, except for Moe who is “too difficult” for him as he throws cans from a sewer three at a time.
After he kills a bunch of zombies, the boss of this part is Krusty. IG is confused by this. Did you forget the original segment? Krusty is one of the Springfield residents that turned. Sideshow Mel kills him, and he returns demanding viewers send their brains.
“It the Clown I could understand” You mean Pennywise?! Who wrote this script?

He skips to the next level with Homer in Dracula’s castle, based on Treehouse IV’s “Bart Simpson’s Dracula”. Clip of Count Burns.
He brings up how Homer’s crossbow doesn’t seem to work and says he could throw “ghost piss” and it would be just as effective. You’d love some ghost piss wouldn’t you Chris? Anything to justify the thousands of dollars you’ve wasted on your stupid ghost hunting pursuit.
He freaks out over a part where you race to the top to escape vines, references the time Homer said “Jebus” as he reaches the end.
He calls the level long, blames THQ again, and eventually reaches the boss (Burns). Calling his sprite, the “coolest in the game”. … I don’t see it.

Onto the next level, which is based on “Homer’s Nightmare” from Treehouse II. He hates this one as he rants about it. Claiming it’s a “shit sandwich” with special sauce that a McDonalds employee jerked off into. Is it now a policy to have one cum joke per video?
He complains, saying there’s nothing to do, calls it “THQ level design” (not them), blah blah blah. For some reason he asks for Lenny or Carl to show up. Why? Outside of a cameo, they’re not involved in the segment. It’s mostly Burns and Smithers playing Frankenstein and Igor, while Homer is the monster.
And yet another clip. Says the level will give you an ulcer.

Moves on to the next one, based on Treehouse V’s “Nightmare Cafeteria”. It’s another scavenger hunt, so he wants nothing to do with it. Unless Uter shows up. He does but rescuing him ends the level, so he doesn’t see him.
“Finger my ass with a monkey’s paw!” I know it’s a reference, but man does that sound forced.
For some reason he really wanted to see Uter. Why? Nobody likes Uter. Not even the writers.

Instead he moves onto the final level based on Treehouse III’s “King Homer”.
He likes this one, compares it to Rampage (only on the surface level), for some reasons references Peter Jackson and Jack Black (I know about the 2005 remake, but it seems pointless to bring it up here) and finds the planes while climbing the tower are hard to destroy and easily kill you.

He beats the game and shows the weird ending where the Simpsons fall out of the treehouse and get abducted by aliens. He complains that Kang and Kodos don’t show up in the game at all. He also calls the specials “Treehouse in Horror”. You really couldn’t do a second take on that?
Anyway, the lack of those two pisses him off so he takes the game out and bites into it, causing it to bleed. Laaame.
We get some “Happy Halloween” text, followed by the Gracie Films logo. Well this boring shit was on par with some of the worst Zombie Simpsons episodes…

We get a credit to Zachary McCallion for helping. Wait, that’s three people now. Chris has at least three different fans writing and editing for him? Does he have the money to pay them all? Are they even getting paid? I’d like to know.

But really, this was so damn dull. No amount of Simpsons clips could lift this from the dreadfully slow sludge this episode is mired in. All I got was that Bores hates scavenger hunts.

Puppet Steve still hasn’t brought up Smash Bros. Makes me wonder if Chris really did sell his Switch.
He did post an old picture on Facebook of him sitting next to Joshua Dela Cruz, the host of the recent Blue’s Clues reboot “Blue’s Clues and You!”. He offered the idea of an “Irate Gamer & Blue’s Clues crossover”. Oh yeah, let’s take the show where you constantly reference feces and jizz and have it pair up with a show for toddlers. It’s no wonder Puppet Steve is dying.

That’s all for me. I hope you have a safe, healthy, Halloween. Stay warm, wash your hands, and don’t forget to vote.