Will There Be No Justice for Injustice? It's IG, What Do You Expect?

You know, after watching a 2 and a half hour video of DarkSydePhil painfully fumble his way through Metal Gear Solid 3, I realized something. This is exactly how Bores would do a blind Let’s Play. He’d blame the game for his own faults, he’d crack jokes non-stop, and he would act like a child. Good thing Bores hasn’t discovered Let’s Plays, otherwise we’d get a crap-ton of Minecraft videos, or whatever the big popular game is right now.

Anywho, new video. His first Neo video since January. Injustice: Gods Among Us. Huh, funny how we all predicted he’d do this one. I thought it wouldn’t be for another few months considering how long he takes. But he managed to get it out within a fortnight of release. Let’s see how much of the game he actually played.

0:06 - 0:15: IG begins the video claiming he got a lot of requests to review it. Uh huh, yeah I’m sure. It’s not like you’re predictable considering how often you gush about Mortal Kombat and that you’re a self-proclaimed DC fanboy, and this a DC fighting game from Netherrealm Studios, the people behind the latest MK. No no, it was the fans.
He holds up the box, then throws it. DON’T DO THAT! Stop treating your games like props! You never show respect to your games!

0:16 - 0:41: He starts up saying this new “brawling” game is from the creators of the MK reboot. Care to say the studio’s name?
He brings up that it has all our DC Comics characters, and some “not-so-favorites”. He has Raven on screen when he mentions this. What’s wrong with Raven? Do you not like the Teen Titans? Because I know a few people that will kick your ass with words.
Then he goes to characters that he doesn’t recognize. So you’re a “big comic book fan” and you claim there’s characters you can’t recognize. I’m looking at the roster and there’s no obscure characters. I don’t see crap like Brother Power of the Geek, Captain Carrot, or the rapist version of Doctor Light.
The footage is on Killer Frost, then it cuts to IG wondering who that is. Then… *sighs* Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons appears and tells him she’s a Firestorm villain. Ugh, was that needed? Yes yes, comic books but if Chris is claiming to be a big comic book fan going by his movie lists, then he should try to act the part. Not do a stupid bit with a Simpsons character.

By the way, I love how one of the only comments (GotGame) calls it a “Matt Groening cameo”. That’s funny, I always thought CBG was played by Hank Azaria.

0:42 - 1:33: Characters are awesome, they come out swinging, they do cool things…
“Once a character hits their limit break” Again Chris, this isn’t Final Fantasy. It’s called a special, or a super move. Not a “limit break”. Learn your fucking terminology.
He mentions that some specials like Harley Quinn’s (you’re saying it wrong) aren’t that cool, and that some specials like The Flash’s make you wonder why the others aren’t this cool. Because Harley doesn’t have any superpowers, and the Flash is the fastest man alive. She’s kind of limited to what she can do, she’s not going to reenact the finale to the JLU episode “Divided We Fall” and run around the world to deliver a megaton punch.
After showing The Flash doing that, IG yells “Shazam” and gets hit by lightning. As if he wasn’t enough of a Mary Sue, he now has the powers of Shazam, that’s great. Oh wait, it was a joke because he didn’t get up. ………….
“Who know Aquaman was so powerful?” Anyone that read the comics? He rules the oceans, commands every fish in the sea, including sharks! He has super strength and durability. This perception of Aquaman being crap is only enforced by shitty comedy writers (E.G. Family Guy and Robot Chicken).

1:34 - 2:20: IG moves on to the story. He found it enjoyable and he managed to power through within two days. Wait, he actually beat it?
He claims that’s “rare” because he likes to … play a little at a time and… savor it like a … fine…wine. BULL! SHIT! Savor like a fine wine, give me a damn break. There’s so many games you’ve played for IG Neo that you only played for one or two hours, and then decide” Yup, that’s good enough”. That’s not “savoring”, that’s being lazy! That almost sounded like a response to the critics calling him out for not beating every game he reviews. Hey moron, ever consider that you’re exempt from not beating shitty NES games because of bad design? You don’t have that luxury with modern games, even if the controls are busted you have endless checkpoints and places to save, games these days love to hold your damn hand.
See, this is why Bores will never do things like Let’s Plays or livestreams, he’s laaaazy! That and a livestream chat would be trolled soooo hard.

Oh wait, this was all setting up a joke. Of course it was… IG is in a suit, holding a glass of wine and some flower saying that they’re “very cultured”, and then he drops his flower and yells “shit!” Hypocritical humor, because he just said he was cultured…

He summarizes the story and that DC fans will love this game (as it cuts to IG reading a Green Lantern TPB and wearing a Batman shirt shouting “Wooo”) and… Marvel fans will be jealous that they don’t have this “epic game” (cutting to IG reading an X-Men TPB and looking angry). Why did you bring up the Marvel fans? There was no reason to bring up the Marvel fans.
I love how he isn’t even wearing a Marvel related t-shirt. Couldn’t fully to the bit, now that’s sad.

2:21 - 2:50: He mentions Easter Eggs, like Hal Jordan being a Yellow Lantern (not an Easter Egg, it’s plot related) and then mentions they got Kevin Conroy to voice Batman (this surprises you?) and George Newbern as Superman from the “iconic cartoon series”. Actually, Newbern was Superman in Justice League and JLU. Tim Daly was Superman in The Animated Series. But that little research probably took away from your busy job of………….

2:51 - 3:34: IG then moves onto the negatives. And he says he can’t find any. Figures… because actually being critical is for neeeeerds.
Oh but he has stupid nitpicks. He found Wonder Woman’s breasts distracting since they were trying to go for “realism”. At least Power Girl isn’t the game… and you played MK9 you should have expected buxom women.
He also didn’t like that all you get for beating story mode is a new costume for Superman. What were you expecting? It’s a fighting game, the rewards aren’t going to be that amazing. It’s not like an RPG with New Game Plus that allows you to take all your stats into a new game and allow you to punish everything that gave you trouble at the start.
Oh and another lame Comic Book Guy bit. Whatever…
He mentions that the game will have DLC so if you’re hoping for Booster Gold or Blue Beetle, you might get it. Then it cuts to IG dressed as the leader of the Booster Gold fan club, he’s wearing a wig and an Injustice shirt. Why not a Booster Gold shirt? Then it transitions to IG saying “God help us all” and putting his hand on his face. What’s that expression meant to be? He’s such a bad actor it’s hard to tell.
There’s a 1% chance he’s right though, the only DLC character we know of is Lobo. But we’ll see what happens.

The video ends with his usual final verdict. He liked it. … Weak. At least there was no lame joke.

This review was… eeeeeeeeeeeeh. Certainly not the worst, but by no means good. As usual, no mention of online or even the controls for that matter. Just the story mode and some other things that really don’t matter in the overall scheme of things. Plus the lame lame Comic Book Guy bits. At least the Fall of Cybertron review had a character from Transformers, even though he’s just leftover from a pointless bit in his regular show. Why was he there? Because comic books? That’s a flimsy excuse.
I’ll give him credit for not mentioning he played this at E3. I guess he does listen, despite his mother’s abrasive insults.

I'll also give him credit for not wondering where the fatalities are. Anyone that asked that was stupid, and I'm not just talking about Bores.

Speaking of E3, I’m looking at the stuff he covered last year. I’m surprised he didn’t review God of War Ascension, unless he’s going to be late to that one. Star Trek just came out to pretty negative reviews. But I get the feeling he’ll give it a positive one because “Star Trek” and “gwaphics” (even though the game doesn’t really look that good).
This year’s E3? June 11th-13th. So the 3-4 weeks following that will be all boring E3 videos of info we could have gotten in five minutes through a Google search.

"In-Depth" Skylanders Giants, Except He Confused "In-Depth" with "Padding"

Man oh man, Bores has been hyping the fuck out of this game. Five videos previewing it with Bores gushing over how great it is. Halo 4? Assassin’s Creed III? Dishonored? Wii U? FUCK THAT! Real gamers overhype Skylanders Giants!
Yeah, his Skylanders obsession has gotten annoying. I didn’t even bother to cover the many videos he made as I found them pointless. But you know why he made them? They got him views. At the time of this post, his first preview video has over 392k views. His Silver Surfer review only has 122k. None of his E3 2012 videos managed to break 100k, except for the Skylanders Giants one, managing to get 243k. His video about the full roster is his most viewed video of the year with over 400k views.

And so his review of the full game is here. Clocking in at 6:18, it’s his second longest Neo review to date, and his longest Neo review of a single game. The 3-in-1 was 6:21. To let us know it’s “serious”, he even titles the review with “in-depth”. Yeah, I don’t know how much “in-depth” you can get out of “Gauntlet for kids”.
Also, the video was posted on YouTube instead of GotGame. Since Skylanders = Views, and Views = Money and… yeah you get it.

0:01 - 0:15: Instead of starting off with the Neo intro, we get IG with a desk full of Skylanders saying he knows people have been waiting for this review, and then the Neo intro.

0:16 - 1:59: IG goes over various improvements from the first game and… he’s actually doing a competent job. Why can’t he do this for every other game? What makes Skylanders so special?
Even though most of it is gushing over the graphics, yes it’s still an Irate Gamer video.
He brings up how the Skylanders speak English now, but is annoyed that a couple of characters no longer speak in gibberish. *looks around* Nope, I see not one fuck given about that.
He brings up the graphics again, then says it looks “too good” and misses the “grittiness” of the original. That wasn’t a style choice, that was probably a limitation. Since the first game was a hit, they were given a lot more to work with, and a lot more polish.

2:00 - 3:48: He moves to the figures because they’re a “major part of this franchise”. Well no shit, considering that the game only works if you have the figures!
Most of this is complaining about the Giants, how they’re too slow and hopes they don’t use this “gimmick” again. Stop calling everything a gimmick! I don’t think you know what that word means, along with “well-deserved”.
He mentions he rarely plays with them. So why complain?
Oh, because he gets into how he stores his figures. WHO THE FUCK CARES? Oh, apparently the fans do because he brings up that they asked how he stores them. Nobody was asking that, quit lying. Then he shows how he stores by element. In-depth my ass, this has turned to padding at this point! His problem with the Giants is they don’t fit in his box. *sighs* Does this go anywhere?
He says the new smaller Skylanders are good and my apathy continues to grow.

3:49 - 4:22: He gets into the various characters, noting the NPCs from the first game returned and that George Takei has a role, prompting an “Oh My”. Uggh, don’t do that again Bores. You don’t have the voice for Takei.
He mentions a couple other celebrity voice actors, both very C-List.

4:23 - 5:18: He moves to the accessories. They work.
The unlockable stages also work, but only received graphical upgrades
The old figures work and… this is getting tedious.
The Skylanders sidekicks work, but he complains about this icon in the bottom of the screen they have. That looks like such a non-issue that… Bores is just reaching at this point.
He complains there’s no cut scenes with the Skylanders interacting with each other. Well that makes sense since the game is reliant on you buying the figures. Just wait for the possible animated series that will probably happen. I don’t know, I really don’t care.

He moves to the final verdict. Finally!
Blah blah if you like Skylanders you’ll love this…
He brings up he has fun playing this with younger kids. Where the fuck are you playing this with younger kids? That’s just… creepy. Especially since you don’t have children!
He complains about scalpers, disagrees with fans about there being “too many characters”. Well, those fans were probably referring to the Series 2 figures, the repurposed characters from the first game.
He tells Activision to keep the character count “low” for the third game (HAHAHA No, there’s gold in them children’s pockets so why do that?)
He says his stupid catchphrase, then recycles that sketch from the first Skylanders video where he appears in the game. Lazy.

So that was… ehhhhh. There’s a lot of other things he could have mentioned like the ability to go through both upgrade paths, or how there’s a super move, or how the level cap has been raised or how his complaint about difficulty in the first game has been remedied with selectable difficulty levels (reading all this from articles I found). That way it would have really been in-depth. A lot of this felt like padding, especially the part about storing his figures. However, the biggest problem isn’t so easily seen. Why doesn’t have this attention to other games? People would give him less shit if this is how he reviewed games, not “play for an hour and consider that good enough”. Not “steal footage from other YouTube users and try to pass it off as my own”. Not “rush out a 2 minute review to make the release date of a new game”. What makes Skylanders so special? Is it the fact that it’s easy? I don’t understand!

*sighs* Whatever, I’m done.