What's Worse Than a Boring IG Video? An IG Book!

I just spent the last couple days at Wizard World Chicago, and all over the place was Jason David Frank’s face. You walk in to get your wristband, a cardboard cutout of him in costume (helmet-less) greets you. There’s ads for him all over, and for an “exclusive Green Ranger figure”. He has an entire booth just for him, where as other “celebs” are all herded into one area.
My point is, filming JDF at Wizard World Ohio isn’t a big deal despite what Bores claims. He didn’t “pull any strings” or anything, he just gave him money, pointed his camera at him, and got a video. I still feel it’s not his footage since JDF doesn’t even say “Irate Gamer” or anything related to Bores. The watermark means nothing as anyone can add a watermark and claim it as their own. Remember eBaumsworld and all their controversy?

Anyway, what did this week bring? Quite a bit actually.

Tuesday is another “tech review”. Which is really just more paid shilling of some cheap product nobody will use.
They’re phone chargers. It’s just him describing features. There’s a bit at the end where he tries to make charging his phone “epic”. It’s lame.
What’s screwed up is that someone in the comments asks some legit questions like “how long it takes” and Bores gives real answers. Why didn’t he include THAT in the video? It just shows how screwed up his priorities are.

He claims in the description it’s a “laid back” review. Apparently “laid back” means “less random shit” or something. It’s clear that he’s doing these “tech reviews” as he’s starved for content. Though a later video this week implies he needs the money and it’s likely he’s doing these videos to get paid.

On Wednesday, he posted a text review to his site.
Bores finally reviews Arkham Knight! … The novel.
Yes, instead of taking time to play Arkham Knight, he’s just going to talk about the book. That’s kind of dumb. It would be like not seeing a movie, and then reading the novelization and judging the movie based on that.

“Ahh yes, the Batman: Arkham Knight graphic novel.” It’s not a graphic novel, just a regular novel. A graphic novel would mean illustrations and panels, like a comic book. Just being Batman doesn’t automatically make it a graphic novel.
“If you haven’t played the video game, then this book is for you!” But that would be pointless, wouldn’t it make more sense to play the game then read the book, to see if it goes into any details the game didn’t? Like how The Dark Knight Rises novel mentioned the Joker when the movie didn’t.
“If you have played this game, (or haven’t read a book since highschool) then this novel is not for you since it rehashes the same thing you just played in the video game version.” First off, that’s not funny. Second, how do you even know it rehashes the game when you say in the next sentence right after that
“I haven’t played the newest installment yet”
So how do you know that?! Sounds to me like you’re talking out of your ass again.

“I’m over halfway through this book already” And this review is null and void. You didn’t even finish the book?! What possible excuse could you have? You can probably read the book in less time than it takes to finish the main campaign of the game (and let’s not even get into needing 100% for the true ending).
“The new 52 version of Batman is going through a rough period right now with terrible storylines” I thought Scott Snyder’s Batman was one of the only good aspects of the current continuity? Did the editors fuck up again?

“Also without Joker, all the mob bosses of Gotham are all vying for control of the city. They keep referring this as filling the void that Joker left behind but I didn’t realize the Joker was so pivotal in the stability of the mob bosses controlling Gotham. Yeah that didn’t make sense” The Joker was one of the most dangerous men in Gotham. He had money, power, territory, a ton of influence. With his death, the Gotham underworld is vying for that same power, hence the whole war breaking out and Joker goons working with other crime bosses. Something you would notice if you played the game.

“The first 100 pages of this book are pretty slow and at times a bit dull. It really is like reading about a video game.” Here’s an idea! How about you go to YouTube, and watch someone else play it. That way you can get a better understanding of what’s going on. Clearly you’re not going to play the game since you don’t even have a PS4. Sugar Daddy GotGame won’t give you one.

Rest of the review is all “So many twists, such good story, Arkham Knight is obvious” Blah blah blah. Don’t do this again.

He actually posted a video on Thursday.
More amiibo… and more shilling of VidFall. Seriously? What, did that first video somehow get them traffic? I don’t believe that.

“GameStop put the date of September 11th, yeah I know…” Shut up. It just so happens that September 11th takes place on a Friday this year, and lately Nintendo prefers to release games and figures on Friday. It’s also the same day as Super Mario Maker, it all connects.
Oh and Vidfall sent him the Japanese Olimar amiibo. Come on Chris, you couldn’t wait three weeks? Again, I feel importing amiibo is cheating. Part of the hunt.

Rest of the video is just listing the other amiibo coming out. I already know this, closing the video.

We now come to Friday’s video and hoo boy is it a big one.
Chris announced he’s writing a book. … Oh this is going to be magical.
Remember when I used to write about his site, before I got bored since nearly every post was the fucking same. Remember all the grammar and spelling errors that would plague most of them? All the typos? 2104 instead of 2014, and this happened all the time.
Can you imagine a book, a published work, written by him?
Who knows, maybe he’ll actually get an editor that will proofread this crap.

So, what’s the book about? Ghosts. Because of course it is.
He claims he put so many hours in to make it “easy to read, easy to understand”. I don’t think anyone will ever understand your mind Chris.
“People who don’t like me, please be kind” Hmmmmm…. Nah. Ghosts aren’t real so I’m going to keep calling out this phony crap.

The title mentions “Fan Help Needed”. For what exactly?
“I’m not that good at photoshop” You don’t say *looks at all the shitty effects from years of videos* At least he finally admits it.
He wants someone to make him a cover for the book. A “shadow person” in a doorway. It will look good in bargain bins.

“I don’t have a lot to give as payment” “Bills are kind of tight right now” Say Chris, you see all those NES games behind you? Maybe sell some of them. Or how about your Magnavox Odyssey? You clearly don’t need it anymore, get rid of it, there is a market out there for it. Or how about all those old toys you have lying around? All those Masters of the Universe figures, the entire Kinnikuman/MUSCLE collection, surely you don’t need those anymore.

“I kind of feel the entire field of paranormal research has hit a wall” Because it’s all bullshit! People are starting to realize this.
He claims everyone is doing the “same things” and TV is “repetitive”. Remember when the TV execs told you “nobody cares about ghost hunting”? Why didn’t you listen?! Shows about Bigfoot seem to be the new trend right now. Proving that there’s always an audience for shows about people trying to find something that clearly doesn’t exist.
Say, what happened to your episode of Hardcore Pawn?

He goes on about his psychology and ancient texts again. Funny thing, I actually Googled “ghost psychology” and one of the first results was a leading psychologist saying “they’re all in your head”. Bores is trying to use that same science to prove they’re real. This feels like a massive joke. Do people actually take Bores seriously as a paranormal expert?

“Talk about things that have never been addressed before” Chances are they have, and you just haven’t looked hard enough. I would look, but I really don’t care.
“This book is very groundbreaking” Groundbreaking huh? Where have I heard him say that word before?

More stroking his ego, believing that what he found is “amazing” or something, claiming he hasn’t heard anyone say what he found. Again, someone probably already has. But at the end of the day, it’s all bullshit.

He wants the book to be out by Halloween. No, I’m not going to try and read it.
He got booked at some event which apparently has all the “top paranormal people”. Looking at the site he provided in the description, it’s going to have people from Ghost Hunters, and some other people. This is so dumb.
The event is called “Old Mill ParaFest” if you want to look further.

Blah blah blah… he says the book is basically done and he just handed it to a couple of people to proofread. Okay, so it won’t read like his site. … Right?
He brings up that he’s been having trouble getting videos out. Then maybe take a hiatus? Make a video where you say “I’m working on something important, don’t expect too many videos”. At least then I wouldn’t give you shit for not making videos! But no, you’re incapable of proper communication.

“The channel isn’t as big as it used to be” And whose fault is that Chris? You’re the one that blocked years of criticism. You’re the one that burned all those bridges with other reviewers. You’re the one that poses as your own mother and yells at everyone, scaring quite a few people. You’re the one that posted shitloads of Skylanders videos when that’s only a small portion of your audience. You’re the one that decided bashing classic games was a better idea than looking at legit bad games. You’re the one that doesn’t fucking communicate with your fan base!
I often see people say “Irate Gamer is still around?”. Which is probably why it feels like I’m the only person calling out your immense bullshit, because to most people you’ve completely fallen off the face of the earth. Though your Splatoon review seems to be going around, mostly for how cringy and terrible it is.
But the views reflect that, most of your videos struggle to get views now, and you aren’t doing anything to make that better. That’s why you’re struggling. I know you won’t listen to me, preferring to pretend to be your mom and crying about how I’m a Nazi and a liar, but consider that you need to do way more if you want to make money on YouTube.

Anyone brave enough to buy his book and attempt to read through the muck? I imagine it won’t change a damn thing.

A Carry Bag... How Low Can This Go?

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but as per usual, my writing relies on Bores, and he has posted jack and shit.

After that painful Donkey Kong video:
The week of July 27th gave us… nothing. Period. No videos, no posts on his site, no Facebook or Twitter posts. Complete radio silence. He always had a bad habit of doing this, but I would hope that keeping a schedule would mean providing excuses for missing deadlines. Apparently that’s too optimistic.

The week of August 3rd did see two videos.
First one was more fucking Skylanders. I didn’t bother.
Though he did say something in the comments that bugged me (thanks to my informant for finding it). Someone said they hope this is the last Skylanders game as they feel the franchise is being milked (I agree). Bores responded (and I‘m paraphrasing) “Activision doesn’t stay too long at the party. They milked Guitar Hero for a while, bowed out at the right time, and are bringing it back to test the waters” *siiighs* You ignorant fucker.

Activision didn’t stop Guitar Hero because it was the “right time”, they did it because the market was flooded with this crap and nobody was buying it. The last game, Warriors of Rock, BOMBED, selling 86k units in its first week. There is no way to spin that into a positive (Guitar Hero III sold 1.5 million in its first week). Do you know who was responsible for that market flood? Activision! They notoriously released 5 Guitar Hero games in 2010 (6 if you count Band Hero), combined with Rock Band and other companies attempts at getting that market, the rhythm game genre completely collapsed.
As for “testing the waters”, they’re doing it as cheaply as possible. Guitar Hero Live will only have guitar (if you want drums, go to Rock Band 4) and is using live-action FMV instead of animating their own character models. What is this, 1994?
Maybe if you took your head out of Bobby Kotick’s ass for one second, you’d realize Activision are full of crap!

Moving on. Second video was an interview he did with a local radio show about his stupid ghost stuff. It’s funny really. If someone wants to do an interview about Irate Gamer, you clam up and hide. If someone wants to talk about your stupid ghost stuff, you won’t shut up. Nobody cares Bores, ghosts aren’t real! It’s even reflected in the views and ratings. Low views even by his standards, and so many dislikes. Maybe you should make a second channel for this crap, since nobody wants to see it. Oh wait, he tried that with Skylanders and failed. Nothing stops this train!

Onto now, the week of August 10th. No video on Tuesday… smooth.
But he did post something on Thursday.

*reads title* “KP Sling Review Goes Wrong - Comic Con Carry Bag” … Really? Have we seriously gotten this low? You’re talking about a bag now? You dedicated an entire video to a bag. I am just stunned. What’s next, a video where you “review” a lamp?
Also, “Review Goes Wrong”. Oh no, this is going to be like the video intercom “review”, where the “going wrong” was just stupid bits involving his toys.
Reading the description, it turns out this is on Kickstarter and he provided a link to it. Once again, major double standards from Bores. “Kickstarter should only be used for educational purposes” What is educational about this bag?! Just admit you were wrong and you only bashed Kickstarter because James Rolfe was in a vulnerable place.

Let’s start the video.

Video opens. He apologizes for the delay, saying his “fatherly duties” (girlfriend’s kids) and the upcoming school year kept him from new videos. Wow, an actual excuse for once. Nothing bad to say there.
“All the comic con events” You do realize there’s more than “comic book conventions” out there right? Hell, I’m pretty sure anime conventions outnumber comic book conventions now. There’s toys, video games, and even dedicated franchises like Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Power Rangers. All get their own cons. I’m just saying.
He opens one pouch and takes out one of his cameras. “Film all sorts of crazy shenanigans” What you do barely qualifies as “shenanigans”, they wouldn’t even register on the chart.
Oh and he brings up that he filmed Jason David Frank, showing that clip again. Yes, we know, you paid JDF to let him film you. You’re not fucking special, anyone can do that, the man’s a god damn attention whore and has a notably bad reputation with the fan community. Of course you don’t know that because like so many others, your PR knowledge is stuck in 1994.

Then he takes out a Mechakoopa plushie. Why?
“To throw at people” …. You’re not funny.
Then he takes out a copy of his Pursuit of the Paranormal DVD, then suddenly a red filter with the words “Cheap Plug” flashing. … My god you have no shame. Gross.
Then a copy of a Monster High book. Don’t take your girlfriend’s kids stuff for your videos. It feels crass.
Then a copy of Everybody Poops. I refer to above.

So yeah, this is the entire video. He takes random shit out of the bag. All that was supposed to be in one pouch, even though it’s blatantly obvious that he edited it all together.

In another pouch, he takes out three amiibo, one of his Minion Megabloks (boy he’s really getting his money’s worth from these) and some of the girlfriend’s kids’ toys (MLP, Strawberry Shortcake, Tinkerbell). Just stop…
Then he takes out a copy of his first DVD, and more “Cheap Plug”. Even if you trying to do this ironically, it’s not funny. It’s more desperate.

Then he takes out a magnifying glass to “look at this pouch a little closer”. … I get the feeling he made this video for his girlfriend’s kids. That magnifying glass bit felt like something out of a PBS Kids show. Plus it would explain why he has all their toys and books.
The “closer look” is just him saying “here’s the inside” and moving on.

Then the third pouch, which has toilet paper, a toothbrush, deodorant, his 3DS (put that in your pocket) and Q-tips. He wants to put his “bust of Atlas” in the bag (“LOOK AT MY COOL STATUE”), brings up a “secret” compartment and finds tampons, complete with OTT mugging. Then he takes out a sword, by which he picks it up off the floor and films it to make the bag look infinite, and goes off to kill the person that did this.
EDIT: I just realized, his "bust of Atlas" isn't even a bust at all. It's a full-on statue. A bust would just be his head and chest, but he has limbs. That's a statue. I really shouldn't be surprised Bores doesn't know the difference.

Once again, this was not a review. Much like the video intercom, he barely touches on the bag itself. He doesn’t actually do anything with it. He doesn’t wear it (the Kickstarter shows you can), he doesn’t mention if it can be adjusted for bigger or smaller framed people, nor if it’s easy to carry, or how much weight it can hold.
But no, it's a video made to tell one joke. For three minutes. Holy crap how bankrupt is that?
And people in the comments are eating this shit up! How can you not see this?! What is the appeal?! Where is the joke?! Just… why?!

I don’t think he’s going to post anything today so I’m putting this up. Who knows when I’ll post something again.

Oh and just a reminder. Blip is going down next Thursday (August 20th). This is the last chance to see certain IG videos before they go away. Like Sonic Generations, the original Tekken 6 review, and various original reviews before editing them for YouTube or adding stupid bits. Unless people download them and upload them to various videos sites.