*looks at calendar* March 1st. Didn’t Bores say he would get the newest IG episode up in February?
Huh? He just posted it? Maybe Bores thought it was a leap year? No… no….
As Bores stated before, this is “Part 1” of the finale to the stupid as hell story arc. Going by the title, it is a continuation of the last part, only this time he’ll cover MMPR on the Sega Genesis. Holy crap, I just realized that this will be his first Sega Genesis review! Unless I’m forgetting something…
By the way, it’s been over six months since the SNES Power Rangers review. Bores, you can’t do continuing themes like this if you take half a year to release the next part. It’s the same thing with Silver Surfer and X-Men.
*breathes* I could use some Kyoryuger bravery about now.
0:00 - 0:07: The video opens with an unexpected face, Jason David Frank! JDF says he’s at Wizard World Ohio and “thank you for watching”. Note how he doesn’t say “The Irate Gamer” or “Chris Bores” or anything like that.
Don’t be annoyed he got Jason David Frank in the video. He filmed that at a convention, you pay a “celebrity” enough money and they’ll say what you want them to say.
I love how the text says “The ‘Green’ Ranger” like that was the only one he played. Are we forgetting the White Ranger, the Red Zeo Ranger, the Red Turbo Ranger, and the Black Dino Thunder Ranger? Knowing Saban, he’ll probably play one of the extra Rangers in Dino Charge.
Also, pointless site watermark at the bottom. Just saying.
It is also possible that this may not even be his footage considering he doesn't name drop. *shrugs* Maybe a name drop costs extra?
0:07 - 0:49: We follow that cameo with a recap of various events from the story arc. Oh, the memories. The horrible, painful, agonizing memories.
0:49 - 2:58: We officially open on IG and the monk teleporting into the base from Power Rangers. I’d make a comment on the laziness of just using a picture, but I’d be a hypocrite as I liked the Nostalgia Critic’s review of Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, and he did the same thing with his green screen.
IG sees his “friends” are here too. Not-Wilson, Wise Sage (oh hey, I was right about him appearing), Tony, and Ronnie (who just got out of the shower because comedy). IG asks how they got here and- okay really? The old bearded monk appears in the Zordon tube, but he’s not a floating head. His entire body is in the tube. You can’t even do Zordon right? The green screen effect can’t be that hard, especially since you take AGES to release anything. I’ve seen College Humor and others do the Zordon head easily. Why can’t you?
Wise Sage tells us that the old man is “The Wisest Sage of them all”. … Seriously? He clarifies that he is the “Sage Elder”. I thought they were monks? That’s what IG called the disciple on his site a while back.
The Sage Elder tells them they’re all heroes that will stop the Shadow Overlord and save the city. Ronnie makes a comment that he finally amounted to something. Aren’t you a TV star? You know, Days of Our Skeletons? Are we just throwing all continuity out the window?
IG comments that it sounds like something out of Power Rangers, and the Sage Elder tells him to be quiet so they don’t get sued. Oh the irony of this joke… we’ll get to it.
Tony asks if they fight in giant robots, and is told they do, but it needs to be powered up. The only one who can do it is… the Irate Gamer. Gary Stu alarms are ringing!
Wait, only he can do it? That completely goes against the message of Power Rangers, that teamwork is important. You need to team up to form the Megazord, you can’t do it by yourself.
The Sage Elder says only IG can do it because of the Power of Inferno. IG remarks that it’s “been a couple of episodes” since he used that. Chris, you aren’t allowed to make meta jokes like that given how horrid your schedule is.
Apparently, the robots run on an “Irate-o-Meter”. My head hurts.
We then get some more footage of the giant HAL-bot destroying the city, and it still looks like complete crap. Those aren’t buildings he’s knocking over, those are JPEGs.
So in order to power up their own robots, IG just has to review a game. He decides on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers for the Sega Genesis, which apparently he had in his back pocket. Are his pockets dimensionally transcendental? It’s the only way I could explain how he could keep a Genesis game in his back pocket and not notice that he was sitting on something.
IG tosses the cartridge into his Genesis (oh hey, a Model 2, at least he’s not using that Model 3 he always used to show) and the lack of physics in the throw makes Not-Wilson realize that IG is the one throwing at cartridges at his head. Who else could you possibly think it was? You live next door to a childish moron with a massive game collection.
IG tells him to shut up and smacks him. Such a good friend, these guys would make excellent Power Rangers.
Despite getting hit, Not-Wilson cheers IG along with the others after he declares “we’ve got a world to save”. Stockholm Syndrome?
2:58 - 3:56: The review starts with IG calling it a “lamer version of the one created for the Super Nintendo”. The two are nothing alike… ones a side-scrolling beat-em-up, and the others a fighting game. Then again, he did compare Sonic Unleashed to a fighting game so he doesn’t seem to understand genre.
“Instead of being able to run around various levels like in the SNES version” Hang on, something is odd with this line, it’s around 3:07. Listen to how he says SNES, there’s a very noticeable audio jump. Did he originally say NES but realized his mistake and sloppily edited around this? I’m really wondering how this took so long to make.
“This turns out to be a brawling game where your mission is to beat one bad guy per stage” Brawling game? You mean fighting game? I mean, what you’re describing is a fighting game, you get that right? Like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter? Am I talking to a brick wall?
He brings up there’s a storyline in this version (hey, there was one in the SNES version, it just didn’t have words) and gets to the fighting. He claims all you do is “punch a few times and you win”. When you say it like that, you make every fighting game sound like crap. Broad generalizations are fun!
He goes through Round 2 with the Megazord and wins without taking damage. He cries that it’s too easy. Maybe you could try turning up the difficulty? It operates on Street Fighter stars, with 1 being easy and 8 being hard. Try playing on 4 instead of 1?
Of course, he gets angry and this turns up the, ugh, Irate-o-Meter.
3:57 - 5:03: “Well, in order to stay true to the TV show, the third fight in this game with the Green Ranger, Tommy”. Wait, how is that true to the show? Wouldn’t having Tommy as the 17th fight be true to the show?
“A character the NES version seemed to lack” I KNEW IT! I knew he screwed up the line earlier and hastily edited around it! How lazy can you get Bores? You really couldn’t redo the line? Double check what you wrote in the script? Something?
Oh, apparently he knows it’s a fighting game now, as he says not to expect something like Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter. Also, another feces joke.
“Each fighter has their own special attacks they can perform by mashing in a series of buttons” Just like every other fighting game ever! Why are you bringing this up exactly? Are they difficult to pull off? Are they easy to pull off? Would they be easier with a six-button Genesis controller?
He doesn’t say. Instead, he cries about the game being so boring that you’ll end up comatose, and we cut to IG collapsing as Ronnie wonders if he should give him water. Three times. Hey Chris, you should pursue a career in making pillows, you’re very good at stuffing things full of padding!
He calls the game underwhelming, and compares it to a sports coach getting a cooler full of piss dumped on him instead of Gatorade. Emphasized with football footage recorded off a TV with a camera. Remember the irony of that joke about getting sued? This is only the first part of that. It’s going to get worse.
He says the game sucks so bad (it really doesn’t) that he wishes a real fighter would appear and kick some ass. Cue Scorpion from Mortal Kombat! He grabs the Megazord with his spear and burns him with his Fatality, which somehow leaves a skeleton. Hey moron, the Megazord is a robot! It has no skeleton! Your attempts at gags are atrocious. We’re only half-way through!
5:03 - 5:38: IG points out how quickly Jason and Tommy become friends after the fight, calling Jason a “master wordsmith”. Or it’s a 16-bit video game cutscene… meh lame joke is lame.
He notes that you can now play as the Green Ranger, and he hopes his Genesis doesn’t explode from all the “epicness” in the cartridge. To pad out further, he has a staring contest with the cartridge to see if it explodes. Notice that his Genesis isn’t even on. At this point I’ll be surprised if he does turn a console or controller on.
The console doesn’t explode because the “game still sucks ass”. Well, that was pointless. Did you really have to follow up that line with 20 seconds of that? Did you really have to make this video 10 minutes loooooong. Be strong Danarchy. You can do this.
5:39 - 6:53: He reaches Goldar, and sees that he’s a challenge. He tries fighting him with the Pink Ranger but loses (probably because he’s mashing his controller like an idiot). He talks “smack” to Kimberly about flirting with Tommy and getting a role on Felicity. Huh? *looks up Felicity* Oh, she was on that show. Why make that reference though?
Then Ronnie says she got the role, and crickets. Is this anti-humor? Did he mean the role as the title character that went to Keri Russell? I’m confused.
He notes that after 8 rounds you makes it to the final boss, but then gets annoyed that there’s only 8 rounds, demanding “extra levels” since all you do is fight in this game. … It’s a fighting game Chris, what else are you supposed to do? Do you pick up a copy of Street Fighter IV and get mad that all you can do is fight? Hell, 8 rounds sounds normal for the 16-bit era. Seriously, don’t get mad at the fighting game for being a fighting game. That’s just retarded.
He then gets pissed that the final boss is once again Cyclopsis, and he wanted to fight Rita. Few things. One, Rita can’t fight. She’s a witch, meaning that she relies on magic not hand-to-hand combat. She never fought in Power Rangers, and she never fought in Zyuranger. Secondly, Cyclopsis was the villain of the intended finale Doomsday, and was the final villain of Zyuranger. It makes sense for him to be the final boss. Third, what the hell kind of review is this?
He actually praises the ending for once as the Ultrazord destroys Rita’s castle, then he demands they destroy the makers of this game and another toilet joke. Wait, what’s the next three minutes?
This… this is pain.
IG rips the game out of the Genesis and is about to destroy it, but the Wise Sage interrupts with news that the “Irate-o-Meter” is full.
They get ready to fight, with Wise Sage doing the double sunglasses joke again. Remember that from aaaallllllll the way back in Contra? It wasn’t really funny the first time, what makes you think it would be funny a second time?
IG activates the Power of Inferno and they all do the roll call. Wait, why do you need to power up just to power up? The suit is a power up. Is this like Megaforce to Super Megaforce? Oh wait, today’s episode showed they can access Super Mega without needing the first suit. Then why do they need the Megaforce suits? You see what happens Saban when you try to combine two different Sentai at once?! Sorry, getting off topic.
IG is the Red Ranger, Wise Sage is the Blue Ranger, Ronnie is the Black Ranger, Tony is the Yellow Ranger, and Not-Wilson is the Pink Ranger (much to his annoyance). I find it weird that Not-Wilson is the show’s butt monkey. The actual Wilson wasn’t like that… right?
Then we get tons of Power Rangers stock footage as the Zords come out of the ground and we see the “heroes” inside. They aren’t actually morphed, they’re just in the Zords. Why do the roll call then if you’re not going to morph?
By the way, here’s the second part of the irony behind that “getting sued” joke. Power Rangers footage.
And then we get… oh my god. Horrid horrid editing as the Zords “fight” the giant HAL-bot. It’s like the fights in MMPR Season 2 when the Zyuranger costumes “fought” the Dairanger monsters. At least they had the decency to introduce the Thunder Megazord for giant fights. At one point, the Tyrannosaurs tackles the giant HAL-bot and the effect is just a picture. I can’t even…
How is it the cheap TV effects from 1992 look way better than Chris’ 2014 effects? You’re not even trying!
They form the Megazord and the editing is still horrendous. The Megazord throws a punch and the giant HAL-bot reels back as if hit. How did he think this was okay?
Of course, the giant HAL-bot overpowers him. They try to summon the Sword of Inferno (oh hey, he remembers it now) but they ran out of power. Wasn’t the Sword of Inferno normal sized before? Can it grow? Why do they need power to summon it when IG was merely handed it? Fuck it, it’s almost over.
Blah blah IG needs to review another game to power it up but they have no time and blah blah blah this is so god damn stupid.
The giant HAL-bot charges up an attack as we go into a cliffhanger. Let me guess, the Green Ranger is going to show up to save the day. You’re extremely predictable Bores.
………………. Give me a minute.
Wow. That was just awful.
First, the review portion. It was barely there. I know people have issues with sketches in reviews, I don’t mind them, but the sketches shouldn’t overtake the review part. This is worse than that Bugs Bunny’s Crazy Castle video that some other guy did.
He said nothing about the game’s controls, the graphics, the music, he didn’t even try to look through the options for a higher difficulty. It was such a non-review it was pointless. The game really isn’t that bad. Hell, you want a bad MMPR game, the Sega CD version will do just fine.
Not to mention he confused NES and SNES again. It’s been how long since he started doing this? How do you still fuck that up? You’re the type of person that confuses Wii and Wii U.
The story… it makes zero sense. I get IG being the big hero, Gary Stu and everything. But why are the others heroes? Why is Ronnie a hero? Why is Tony and his horrible need to beat people up over petty reasons a hero? Why is Not-Wilson a hero? Did he seriously run out of characters to use?
You know, I’d call the recycling of Power Rangers footage a clever satire of Saban reusing Super Sentai footage, but I don’t think Bores is that smart. I mean, he didn’t even try to change the footage or add his own take to it. At least when the Nostalgia Critic did his Power Rangers parody in “Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie”, he got his own giant robot costume! In fact, the whole concept really does feel like that review.
And really, this is how the big story arc ends? Recycled Power Rangers footage? What a fucking joke. How did this take so long again?
The whole video was a mess. Poor editing all over, bad effects, just a complete disaster.
And the worst part? There’s still the conclusion. I’m going to need some more Kyoryuger bravery.
By the way, one of my informants told me that one of the comments claimed the video had “better editing than Saban”. I’m going to go break someone’s TV.